The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 4: Theft at the Gala!

In spite of what you have heard, we're at the height of our powers Atop the tallest towers This can never stop us by having to trust And we will do what we must Until it's turning out just like we plan

is long But our Mojo is strong And unless I'm wrong and I'm not We're at the height of our power

We find ourselves, it's another perfect weather River City night.

Well, more evening, if you will.

The three of you,

along with your quote-unquote teammate, I guess, I don't know, assistant, intern.

However, that shakes out dean the koala man he has driven you i like to think of it as a co-a sort of co-op situation like we all bring something to the the outfit and dean is just as a co-op with a k of course k-o-op

wait why he's a koala but he's a koala oh that's really good dad i'm sorry i didn't understand it is good sorry we you had to explain it to us it was better than that you're i got it right away dad you're older than me and smarter than me you did you couldn't have gotten it right away trav because i didn't hear you busting up.

Oh, I busted up so hard that it peaked and my audio cut out.

Okay.

I tap on the window of the reasonable sedan and do the roll down motion to Dean, who I assume is waiting at the wheel.

Yeah, he...

Uh, yes.

I just want to say that was a smooth ride, dude.

Smooth ride.

I mean, thank you so much, but you can really, it's the handling on this sensible sedan.

This is...

Yeah.

Yeah.

They don't make them like this anymore.

Anyway, this was like a 22.

Yeah, no, it's a 22.

It's a 22 Kia Sorrento.

But they don't make them like this, the Kia Sorrento like this anymore.

Oh, yeah.

It actually needs a 24, 25 at this point.

Yeah, I hear it's got screens and internet.

Anyway,

keep it hot.

Keep it running.

Keep it hot.

We might need rapid X.

Yeah, we might need Rapid X-Fill on this mission.

And if it seems like the whole stadium is going to blow up, back up down a level in the garage.

I'm sorry.

I gotta ask, man, is the Kia Sorrento's

EV or you run it on

gasoline?

No, it's gasoline, so I think maybe I'll keep the keys in the ignition, but I don't think I should let it idle for I don't, yeah, man, I don't love letting it idle.

We gotta, um, we gotta shut it down, man.

It's not good for the planet and everything.

That's okay, but I'll be ready.

I won't sleep or anything.

I won't nap.

I'll be honest, a lot of the air pollution stuff doesn't bother me so much because I'm a seal and I'm mostly a sub-aquatic kind of.

Oh, it's all connected.

Yeah.

Wow.

So wait a minute, man.

I just want to like zero in, Navy.

Yeah, go ahead.

Are you saying...

Go right ahead.

Are you saying that you're unconcerned about climate change and its ramifications on our?

No, no, no, no.

You're not going to sew me up like that.

I'm mostly concerned with the water stuff i was an ocean guardian for a while and it might it keeps you busy because there's a lot down there and so i'm just saying that the land and air stuff it's a bit lower on the priority list for me i was at a chamber of commerce mixer with captain planet and i don't think he'd be completely copacetic with that

No.

All right, man.

You insisted to me for an hour that it was a Mookser, and I told you that was impossible.

So you just said it was a mixer so you admit it's not a mook sir right you finally admit mookser's not a thing it's not a thing

should the four of us get some rings that we can put together to turn into one guy

i don't think it's just the rings that do that i think you need to have like some power within the rings okay yeah but the power but once you give the power to the guy

you don't have any well we missed the whole event the whole event happened here while we were talking about captain planet oh well we'll get it next time.

No,

let's begin.

Oh, speaking of, I did bring some snacks for you guys

to take with you.

Just, you know, some Doritos, some things like that.

You know, just some snacks.

Oh, man.

Thanks, Dean.

It's really, it's really cool.

You don't have any hazelnuts, do you?

No.

No.

I've never eaten

Nutella crackers.

Get them away from me, man.

I've got a pretty extreme allergy.

To hazelnuts?

Yeah.

Let me, Travis Nachre, just write that down.

I have,

check this out.

I have no allergies.

Not even to bullets.

So I'm going to say I've given you guys basically some snacks.

Think of it like a healing.

I'm writing Doritos in my inventory.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you can deploy your snacks once in this encounter as a healing item, basically.

and on your way here you guys stopped and got some food so you're back up to full health great ready to go there's not a

there's not an inventory sort of section in this character sheet that was built in google docs so i've just written doritos in cell e62 uh on this google doc uh it looks god intended it looks really really good

all right you're here at the River City First Arena, home of the River City runner-ups.

Tonight is the night of the Celebration Gala for their 50th consecutive second place finish.

You are currently in like the parking garage unit to the side of the entrance of the stadium.

So what sport do they even play?

Do we know that?

Gosh.

I think it's Highlight.

I was not...

Oh, yeah.

That makes sense.

Yeah.

I've never been a big sports guy.

I got big sports brothers, but nope, I'm a little run to the litter and the sports was never really my deal.

So, your brothers are like sportos, right?

They're big sportos and heroes.

And my heroes.

Sportos, oh.

What's the matter?

I have a bad taste in my mouth for

sportos.

Well, hold on.

My former group, the

Barnyard All-Stars, were a bunch of beathead jocks and

it wasn't a match made in heaven, let me just say that.

When you said of foul taste in my mouth, I pulled out a little checklist, and I start running down it.

Like, do you feel dizzy or often feel incapable of standing up?

I'm sorry.

I have to track the mad cow disease.

I have to keep an eye on it.

As a team leader, I do, or, you know, sort of whatever.

I don't want anything bad to happen.

So I've got this sort of list of...

of mad cow disease symptoms I can run down if you ever feel like you're I'm all up on my vaccinations vaccinations fantastic that's great I turned towards the camera get your vaccinations kids like you're heroes

I want to look for some security personnel okay

give me a roll with your big old bug eyes okay that's three to eight two successes seven three six okay nice yeah so you can see this gala the entryway everybody's lining up and you know the barriers that they set up there is at sporting sporting events, there is an active metal detection station

where everyone's filing through and showing their invites to the gala.

And there is a River City First enforcement specialist, which is the second level within the enforcement team.

Of course.

There is a specialist checking people's IDs, checking their invitations, and passing them through the metal detector.

Do we have invitations?

This is is me asking you, Travis.

No, you do not.

Obviously, that question is directed at you, Travis.

Or were you asking me?

Let me answer.

Yes.

We did.

You do not have invitations.

Okay.

How heroic is this?

I go and stand patiently in the back of the line.

That's really good.

Can't I stand with you?

Yeah, of course.

It would be absolutely wild to decide to do anything else in this situation.

There's a line of people.

They're going through a security checkpoint.

We have nothing to hide.

Let's begin.

waiting patiently so do we have to roll to wait patiently in line no so luckily for you this is an invite only gala so it's not like there's thousands and thousands of people coming in and plus you're now near the like you're getting close to the actual event start

So most of the people are already inside.

Only like, you know, five or six couples and groups and stuff go ahead of you.

And now you're up to the front.

You see, you would say maybe in his 30s guy there, and his name tag says, specialist Darnett.

And he waves you forward and says, yeah, I just need to see

your invites and your ideas.

Wait, can I talk to the guys real quick before we do this?

Just before we go up.

Oh, okay, yeah.

Sorry.

No, I was talking to Travis, not the specialist.

Hey, hey, so I was thinking...

Maybe when we get up there, maybe you let me do the talking.

You know, like off chance that

this cat was in the service before.

Oh, I have the same thought, friend.

Yes.

It's striking a weird note, man.

Lately, I feel like the stolen valor energy has gotten pretty bad with you, right?

So I think if you just let me talk to him, it shouldn't even be like a big deal.

Yeah.

Okay, that's great.

And I can, I should work on a pseudonym, huh?

Like, something I can say.

Yeah, I'll just sort of like kick it to you and let you introduce yourself however you want.

Okay.

Yeah, that's great.

You're never too late to start a new first opinion, man.

Absolutely.

And I love you taking charge on sort of the social front like that.

That's huge.

I know that.

It's all how can I support you in that endeavor?

Yeah, I would think trying to stand in a fashion where you're largely sort of visually obscured, you know, man.

Like sort of behind me

and my frame.

I kind of figured Roger was about to go strike out on his own nasty business.

I wasn't even going to interfere.

I was going to say, hi, my name is Lyle, and you probably only see me and this other person behind me, and no one else.

I cannot imagine Roger is still with us.

So, we knew going in about what the mission was, right?

Okay, so I think Roger is wearing his formal wear, his tucks,

and is

looking for catering trucks to see if there is an entrance for the catering staff.

Okay.

Give me like a looking for stuff, check, You know what I mean?

Yeah.

And that would be a lot of fun.

Well, how many

of you were

2d8s?

Okay, looking for stuff.

One success, six and four.

Okay, yeah.

So on a mixed success, you see a couple all from the same company, wolf gangs catering.

And you see that it is a gang of all wolves

who are going in, carrying various, you know, containers and stuff setting up still.

Now, I will say, it's very limited.

So, what you see is they're coming out and grabbing like refills of things and replacements of things from the truck because they were here, you know, an hour before the event starts setting everything up.

So, it's not like there's a ton of them coming and going,

but about every like five minutes, somebody runs out to grab something from the trucks and back in.

Well, Roger's gonna make his way over there

and wait till one of them is

not looking

and pick up one of the containers and try to get in with it.

I see no flaws with this plan at all.

Okay.

Give me like an infiltration check.

And I'm going to say, since you stated like you were dressed like a caterer might, I'm going to have you do it with 3d8s and let me know how that goes.

Three successes.

Well, six credits.

Well, that was the six was part of the last one.

It's five, five, seven.

Oh, right.

Five, five, seven.

Still, Jesus.

Three, six, seven.

Yeah, so three.

It's a Kalabunga, eh?

And a Kawabunga with the double fives.

So you scrap that.

They walk in.

You actually pass a couple of them, but these are like the low-level people, you know, and they could not be less interested in the comings and goings of other employees.

Like, these are the people who set things up and then wait to break them down.

So, like, they see you walk by and they're just like, oh, hey.

Okay.

They don't notice he's not a wolf.

They could not care any less if they tried, Griffin.

Cool.

And at this point, he carries himself.

Here's what pops into their mind, Griffin, is, oh, that cow must have been adopted by wolves at a young age.

He's

basically a wolf.

I'm not even worried about it.

I would watch that Facebook video.

Oh, this cow got adopted.

Are you kidding me?

So, yeah, you're in there.

Walk through the back corridors.

Yeah, okay.

Do they only serve like corn?

Yeah, what do you serve at an all-animals function?

No, but a lot of wolves are transporting.

If the wolves are transporting it, they have to have a different van that the chicken drives.

Right.

And the chicken's got to bring the corn to the thing.

Yeah.

And then the wolf goes back and picks up the corn.

These are people wolves.

The chicken can't drive the corn.

These aren't just wolf-wolves, Justin.

You know that, right?

These are people-wolves.

Also, I think the whole game falls apart when it's a farmer and a bag of grain and a chicken and like 40.

You guys are jumping ahead to the big bad.

Oh, sorry, sorry.

That was going to be the big culmination of the whole show.

You've got to be able to think on your feet, Trabby.

Yeah, I'll think of a different big solution.

Yeah.

The answer was just to kill the fox.

Oh, never.

Why would a farmer care about getting a fox across the river?

Yeah.

That's not the farmer's job.

It's a chill farmer.

So is it back to us?

Yeah, so you're in the back hallways hallways there, Roger.

Navy and Lyle, you've made your way up to specialist Darnett.

Cool.

And I'm doing exactly as I was told.

I'm hanging back, letting Lyle be the face.

So,

yeah, it's sort of

official business that we got to go on, man.

Do you understand?

Well,

sorry.

Official business in what.

Wait, wait, wait.

Were you cutting to his mid-conversation?

Yeah.

Okay.

thanks for seeing it what my way man we really appreciate the help no you can't just walk up and say we need to get in there and then i'm on you cut to us mid-conversation so while dad was doing his thing we succeeded to make

it and now it's just like catching up with us what an incredibly interesting strategy uh

i knew you'd come around man editing to to solve this problem huh awesome I guess I'm not allowed to do that, huh?

Well, not allowed.

Yeah, you know what?

I'm going to try a lot lot more in this season not to put my foot down and be a rule stickler but i am gonna say um in this circumstance just deciding it worked while i wasn't looking

humanity's been doing that for thousands of years how do you think we made the polio vaccine that's it's that this everything has to be in defiance of god's truth okay He says, yeah, I'm just, if I could see your invites and your

IDs, please.

And if you have any metal on your body, just send it through on the conveyor belt here and then you can step through might need to do the wand

they didn't tell you we were coming

dang it this is classic classic rcfe you know i my name is axelisle i i'm doing fire safety checks and i didn't know i'd need discrete credentialing i have my

i have my official my fire inspector badge but i i i i don't have any other like an invite or anything but this is a fire hazard man and I'm Jeremy Blubbins ah shoot Jerry okay Jeremy if I could just see your ID

and your invite and then yeah I'd love to see that fire inspection badge if you've got that on you hey Jeremy was it I don't appreciate

I don't appreciate fakers trying to intercede when

I'm trying to do official fire business.

Okay, you're holding me up.

Is it okay if I go on through and do my thing while you check this guy out?

Yeah, I just need to see that inspector license.

Yeah, absolutely.

Here you go.

Okay.

And I show it to him.

Okay.

Now, Justin, I would like you to roll 3d8.

And that is going to determine how official looking and how believable.

I'm not saying it's fake.

It seems weird, but okay.

I mean, fine.

3d8, huh?

Yeah.

All right.

Here we go.

362.

That's a mixed success.

That is a mixed success.

Yeah, he looks at it and like, it definitely has like some kind of seal on it, but like it's not laminated.

The edges are a little, and he's like, ah, I don't know.

It's set to expire this month.

And there's only like two or three days left in the month.

Hold on, man.

I got a little...

That's funny crumbs.

Let me get those off of there.

Look, they misspelled inspection.

Get another look.

Now, this is real stuff.

No, I believe that it's...

I believe that it's real.

I just don't know how much power is granted by it.

And it's like basically expired.

Well, basically, man, why are you being such a stickler, you know?

I gotta get in there.

This is a fire.

You know what?

Who's your direct boss?

I'm gonna call him on the phone.

Who's my direct boss?

Your direct supervisor.

You should know their name if you really work for them.

Wait, are you questioning now my validity?

Isn't that interesting?

Huh.

I do feel it does feel like the tables are turning a little bit, doesn't it?

Oh, it does feel like.

Who is on trial here?

I asked asked you, Special Sarnet.

Huh.

Maybe I need to see your badge.

Well, okay.

It's right.

Can I see your badge?

Yeah, it's right here.

It's like on his, you know, on his right chest.

It looks pretty good.

Okay, let me just

grab this and write the numbers down here.

Okay.

Okay.

Do you want me to get Executive Lewis on the phone?

He's my director.

I bolt.

I bolt.

I bolt.

I bolt.

I bolt with his badge.

I know with his badge.

I bolt with his badge.

Okay.

Interesting.

Give me.

I will tell you this.

You will not find Axelisle again.

Ever?

Not this guy won't.

Never.

I'm going to say,

now you do have extreme exfiltration.

Absolutely.

And this environment is in danger.

Yeah, man.

And not quite of destruction, but we're going to see.

It is in danger because of what, because of your choices at action.

Yes, I'm going to say, so you can roll a 3d8 to try to get away with this badge.

Can I assist in some way?

Jeremy Bubbins, tell me how you assist.

I mean, as the guy turns to chase him, I just trip him.

Try to trip him.

Try to trip him.

Try to trip the specialist so that he can't chase my guy.

Okay, here's what I'll say.

You can roll 2d8 to try to trip him.

Yeah.

Mathematically, it seems like a good two failures.

3-1.

Not even good failures.

Not even like 4-4.

You try to trip him, Griffin, with those two failures, and he just gets you with his taser right away.

And now he is on high alert for you, Justin.

He's already like

ready for Taze.

Taze is there.

So this is going to be tougher for you to do because Griffin failed on both.

Impossible.

That doesn't seem right.

He tried to help, Justin.

And sometimes when you try to help,

you're making a situation worse.

True.

And then shoot his butt with the.

I'm tasing.

He's tased.

What I'm saying.

Okay, so the punishment has been meted.

That's the work.

Give me that roll.

The scales are in balance.

Roll 3d8, Justin.

Yeah, it's a mixed success.

On that mixed success, he doesn't tase you.

You take a step back.

You have gotten some distance between you and him as you're like backing up.

And he's like, hey, okay, hold on, hold on.

Things are getting a little dicey here.

Okay.

Do you wanna?

Are you gonna run?

Or can we talk?

Well,

you're being very cool about this.

My job to de-escalate situations like this.

Yeah, you're back here.

Can I stand up?

Anybody?

Can I stand up?

Yeah.

Okay.

You're good at it.

You did a pretty good job there, I would say, neutralizing the threat.

Thank you.

Here's what I'm here to tell you,

Specialist Sarnet.

As much as we appreciate your time,

we're already inside.

What?

Thanks for the distraction.

These are holograms.

No, see, this is all a distraction for dad.

Oh, okay.

That's so it worked perfect.

Yeah.

Okay, cool.

By the way.

So, dad, what were you doing doing during all that?

You know, walking around

casing the skin.

He is carte blanche, I feel like it.

This way, right?

That was so wild.

Everybody's got to be paying attention to that.

I'll tell you what I was doing.

I was doing,

and this brings to mind a question I had.

Are we, are the three of us in communication?

I mean, do we have ears?

I believe that is established, right?

That we are using hand signs.

Well, hand signs, and you have like basic.

I always like it better when the players can communicate.

Especially if you're a bad person.

Yeah, unless you've been specifically separated from one another, you rolled up to this ready to blink.

I guess we're more because we had to stay quiet.

Yeah.

All right.

In that case, Roger has been walking around looking for...

another security officer, looking for somebody else in security with an eye towards because he's been listening all this all this time

with an eye towards finding somebody in security and lifting their

wonkie-tonkie, their radio.

Oh, okay.

Give me, you're pretty good at this, guys.

I think give me 3d8 as you are looking around, scoping this out in casing the joint.

625.

Yeah, with two successes.

You see a

more kind of like highly dressed, fancy uniform RCFE member with a name tag that says Executive Lewis.

This is the direct supervisor to Specialist Darnett.

And he is very much watching the people come in and keeping an eye on, you can see that he seems pretty focused on some of the like fanciest people there.

Specifically, he is close to the elbow of a fairly large walrus man who everyone seems to want to talk to.

I approach Lewis with a tray of canopes.

It's

wieners wrapped in

bacon with brown sugar.

Shrinkled all through.

A grizzly, grizzly snack for this party.

A grizzly snack.

I know.

I'm leaning into it.

But it's all faux.

You know, it's like...

Oh, okay.

Thank you for clarifying that.

It's the faux, the faux bacon and the faux sausage.

Oh, it's facing.

Yeah, it's facing and faux sausage.

And walks up and asks Mr.

Lewis.

Sir, would you care for a faux kind of pay?

I can't.

I'm working.

Oh, very well.

And

I think while he is...

peering around the room, he's gonna Roger's gonna try to lift his walkie-talkie.

Okay.

Give me now.

I'm not telling you you have to use these now, but there is a mission-based mechanic I do want to cover here that is called Time to Shine Dice.

This seems like a good time for it, man.

Yeah, basically, Time to Shine Dice.

Each one of you has a pool of six bonus D8s.

Oh, wait, I thought it was a shared pool between all.

All three of you know, you each have them.

It's your own time to shine.

Oh, great.

And you can choose to deploy those whenever you're taking an action that you feel your character, either because of their training or because of their species, this is their time to shine.

Once you use the dice, they are gone for the mission.

So you is there a max to the number we can spend on a single action?

Nope.

You can use as many as you want, but once you use them, they're gone.

And you have to declare before you roll that you're going to use them and how many you're going to use.

And then do you roll them in addition to

you roll them at the same time as the other ones.

Yes, exactly.

Okay.

I'm going to do that, and I'm going to roll.

I'm going to roll five of them.

Whoa.

Wait, five of your six dice?

I'm rolling five of my six.

It replenishes after each mission, did you say?

Yeah, so this entire thing is the mission.

Right.

I'm going to use five of them.

Okay.

It's aggressive.

I like it.

How much I can lift the radio.

So you're rolling 78s d8s total.

Okay, well, that's what I asked you.

Does it roll in addition to the 3?

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes, yes.

Okay, well, then I'm going to roll.

I'm just going to do three of them then.

Oh,

I mean, so I'll do five all together.

Perfect.

Roll me five D8s.

Wow.

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Tis, tiss.

You did.

So you got two, five, three, three, three.

I'm going to say on a mixed success,

you get the wake.

Okay.

And then he turns and he says, what are you still doing here?

What's your name?

This is unprofessional what you're doing.

I'm going to talk to your supervisor.

My name, sir, is

Larry Purdy.

I am Larry Purdy, and I'm so sorry that I have inconvenienced you.

I really, you know, I think these faux sausages have turned.

Will you please excuse me?

Just

I'll be right back.

Thank you.

Okay, I'm keeping my eye on you, Larry.

Thank you.

Thank you, sir.

I need that.

I need that kind of supervision to function properly.

So you were able to snag the walkie, but now he is wary of you, and it seems like he's kind of set on talking to whoever the supervisor of the caterers are.

But you have obtained the walkie, and you are able to move away from from him without him realizing you have.

Okay, then I am going to, as I walk away in a hushed voice, I'm going to get on the radio and

say,

oh, I'm going to use one of my abilities.

Oh.

Cow

Derfit,

where he can imitate people perfectly.

Imitate characters perfectly.

And

I guess I got a role, don't I?

3d8.

So say what you're gonna say first.

I'm going to contact Darnett and ask Darnett if the

two specialists, the seal and the

axolotl

have made it in.

Okay, so have that conversation and we're gonna roll to see how effective it is after.

Okay.

Darnett.

Darnett, can you hear me?

Darnett?

Yes, Executive Lewis, yes.

I have been looking for

a couple of specialists that we have brought in

to kind of be plain clothes security.

One of them is an axolotl

and the other one is a maybe seal.

And

they are trained in undercover activities, so they're probably...

playing characters and I just want to make sure they got in all right because I couldn't like give them credentials because if somebody patted them down and find out who they were.

And sorry, did you say

their names would they happen to be Axel Lyle and Jeremy Blubins?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

So you have encountered them?

Yes, sir.

I have them right now.

Good.

Great.

Awesome.

Awesome.

Awesome.

Tell them to take their positions that I informed them to.

And good, good work, Garden.

This is,

I'm going to remember this.

Come the next,

the next function,

the next in-house party we have, if you know what I mean.

Okay, roll 3d8 for me, Dad.

I'm going to use another

two of my die to roll five.

Okay, go for it.

All right.

This one, for sure.

There we go.

Okay.

An eight?

You got an eight and a six.

You got a two.

Now we're talking.

Full success out of five.

You got two.

That's great.

Oh,

brilliant, as always,

Executive Lewis.

And I look forward to our next in-house party, I guess.

I'll let them write in, sir.

Okay.

Good.

Good man, Doron.

Good, good man.

I will.

Darnett, yes, that I don't remember.

Okay.

I wish you would.

I'll try.

I'll try

there is going to be a quiet hostility between these two actual people

that they one of them is not gonna understand why it why it exists because it's been sewn in uh in falsehoods here okay so Lion and Navy you are able to enter yeah no no hard feelings are nut you're just doing your job I understand

um did I

did I pass

not a test, son, but uh, if it were, yes, and also, thank you for your service.

Oh, okay.

I hope you'll understand, man.

I'll get your badge back to your boss.

We gotta relieve you of duty, obviously.

Wait, what?

Clear protocol following here is that if someone makes a mess up as bad as you did, they are relieved of duty.

But I stopped you.

Yeah, we don't know what you would do with this, man.

Okay.

I'll hold on to it we'll get it back to your boss no problem and hey listen arnette i want to tell you something

absolutely that was the test and you passed oh can i have my badge

sorry my badge

all right you failed again that test was not over i said the test is over but it was still part of the test man no that's

right sir

darnett darnette Can you still hear me?

Yeah.

You better get that, man.

It sounds exactly like your boss, sir.

Whatever the guys say goes.

Okay.

Whatever they tell you goes.

But sir, they're

saying.

Lewis out.

Okay, while he's talking on the phone, I use extreme hiding.

Okay.

I'm gone.

I'm gone.

I got a five in there.

Yeah, I will say that's able.

He knows you walked past him, but you got past him.

You're in.

You have the bad.

He's so demoralized at this point.

I have to imagine.

He's confused more than anything.

Yeah, sure.

Everything that has just happened to him in the last three minutes has broken every bit of protocol he has been for sure.

Yes.

Hey, folks, we've got some live shows coming up.

We're going to be in Atlanta for for Taz versus Popeye.

We're doing My Brother, My Brother, and me in Atlanta.

We're doing Dragon Con in Atlanta.

Atlanta, more like Koolanta, because we'll be there doing cool stuff.

That's what they call it.

I don't know.

I didn't like that.

They call it Koolanta.

Did you know that?

I don't think they call it Koolanta, dude.

They do?

All right, man.

Oh, the cool ones do.

We've also got shows coming up in Texas, Utah, and California.

All Taz shows for the rest of the year are going to be Taz versus shows.

Like I said, we've got Taz vs.

Popeye in Atlanta.

We're doing Taz vs.

Hercules in Texas

and even more coming up.

So make sure you get them.

Tickets for all the shows are on sale now and get all the info and ticket links at big.ly slash McElroy Tours.

We got some new merch up in the merch store.

We also got some great deals up in the merch store.

We're doing a back-to-school sale.

Select items up to 40% off.

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And 10% of all our merch proceeds this month will be donated to World Central Kitchen.

All that and more over at macroymerch.com.

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Enjoy the rest of the episode, and we'll be back with a new one in two weeks.

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I go inside then?

Yeah, so the three of you, are you reconnecting inside?

Yeah, we've reconnoitered.

It's too annoying to be separated.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's if it's, if, can we regroup in the back hallways with

Roger?

Is that can you get him to like open a open a like employees-only door for us and let us get back where he is too?

I will say that without rolling, you guys can reconnoiter there.

If you are looking to move through it altogether,

then that is going to be a little more challenging.

Sorry, Reconnoiter is recon.

That's not a mistake.

I apologize.

If you guys want to use those back hallways to get around, that's going to be more of a challenge.

Okay, let's regroup in the back hallways.

Can we do that and just talk about where we go from there?

Okay.

Do you want a layout of what you see when you come in?

Yeah, please.

Okay.

So now you should be in the River City Runner-ups gala.

Yeah.

On stage, you see a band performing, the bass drum of which reads, the ska's the limit.

And they are performing...

Sure, traveling.

Yeah,

this is River City's number one ska cover band.

Do kids know about it?

Is ska's not still...

Is ska...

This feels like guys sometimes.

Do you guys ever feel yourself saying a sentence and you can tell that you are winding up the mechanisms of a bear trap that is going to snap shut on your own leg?

By asking if the kids know about Ska, I am walking into some sort of diabolical trap.

Only I am the trap maker and the prey.

That's true.

So you can see the lead singer of Ska's the Limit is Agent Mingo, who is famous as a performer with Ska's the Limit, but also as an agent of codename Bird.

Awesome.

He is a flamingo, a well-dressed flamingo man.

On the other side of the room, at the entrance, there's a receiving line where where there is a large, incredibly well-dressed walrus man who you guys know.

This is a billionaire, philanthropist, industrialist Walter Russell.

Yeah.

And beside him is a little kind of half shrimp man.

You know, he's maybe 5'2, 5'3, but next to Walter Russell,

he is but a slip of a thing.

Yeah.

And he's behaving in a very, I would say, lackey slash toady-ish manner.

Cool.

And

otherwise, otherwise just gala decorations.

There's tables set up for people to sit and eat at.

About how many people are in here, roughly, would you say?

I would say about 200 to 250, you would guess.

Okay.

We are here presumably to try to find the cup, the silver cup, because we've been pursuing some silver thefts in town.

Correct.

Do I see the cup?

Do I see the trophy?

Well, give me each of you roll 28

and I'll see if any of you know about the arena.

Nope, nope.

Not me.

What is arena?

I already told you I'm not a sports guy.

Double success, five and seven.

Wow.

Okay, yeah.

So Dad.

I own this arena.

Well, maybe if it was a mega cowabunga.

I'm going to say Dad with Justin got one success.

Dad with two successes.

When you were with the Barney All-Stars, you had spent some time here at the River City Arena.

And you know that there's a couple different locations within the kind of of event center of the arena.

This is the gala hall, but then there's also the trophy kind of awards hall of fame that is located separate from here.

You can see the door off to like the left side of the room, and it is currently sealed.

So this is, you get the impression that this is going to be a gala first, bubba, and then we present, right?

Because not only is this a presentation, it is also going to be a chance for them to try to, you know, get some money from donors and that kind of thing.

So they want to make a night of it.

Can I do something?

Okay.

Is the guy on stage right now?

Is he like

giving a speech or singing or what's his, what's his deal?

Right now, Agent Mingo and the band, they're just playing some really great ska hits.

The trumbo

like what?

Like Never Had to Knock on Wood by Mighty, Mighty Bob Stones.

They're doing a

lot of times.

Impression I get.

Yeah, but I don't know that because I'm a cool dude.

Oh, no, we fell into your ska test trap.

Can I look and see if there's like a countdown clock somewhere like telling this guy when he needs to get off stage?

So I have sort of a rough idea of when

the trophy will be presented and what our window of operation time might be.

Yeah.

Using our knowledge of live touring.

Yeah, right?

Yeah, give me a roller.

I look for dog Paul Saborin

to run out and put a timer on the stage.

What am I rolling?

Yeah, with your big old bug eyes.

Okay.

Two successes, five, six.

Yeah, with two successes, you see there's an iPad going on stage, and you've got about an hour and 15 counting down from there.

Dang, it's quite the set that this flamingo man is.

Well, that's not necessarily his entire set.

It's an hour and 15.

You know, there will be speeches and comings and goings and that kind of thing.

Okay.

I relay that.

All right.

We've got a little over five quarters of an hour to get this job done.

I feel like we don't have enough for Paul Sabertooth.

Dad is just tight into tracking.

Thank you so much, Dad.

That's very good.

I was worried about it.

Why would you say it on our comedy show, man?

I didn't want to forget it.

I didn't want to forget it.

But you could just say it out loud in the comedy show.

You've never actually held back from saying literally anything in your entire life.

I'm trying.

As far as I know, it's stream of consciousness with you, Clint.

Like, I don't...

The idea that you would be like, I'm going to put that one in my back pocket with somebody who's going to be a little bit more.

If you only knew, if you only knew

the ones that I don't say.

Open up the fire heists.

Yeah, James.

And that time you're talking is the time I don't have to, baby.

All right, we've got a little over five quarters of an hour to get this job done.

We don't have enough information from security footage from the previous heist to get an idea of what kind of perp we're dealing with, but if if we can locate the trophy and either keep it safe or exfiltrate it ourselves, probably not that, because then we would be arrested.

Then we are the criminals.

Anyway, we need to find that trophy and then look for sort of vulnerabilities that

the thief might be trying to exploit.

Travis, I'd like to have a poke around to see if I find the trophy.

Just a poke around.

Just a poke around.

Yeah, I'm just going to have a butcher's to see if I can find the trophy.

Just kind of a look around.

Okay, where are you looking around?

I don't know.

It's your room.

Like, I assume I'm going to head backstage

behind the drapery to head back there to just have a little butcher's around.

To the Hall of Fame room?

Yeah.

I'm going to head in the...

No, yeah, is there a...

What's behind the curtains?

I just want to go directly behind the curtains where the stage is.

So you want to go backstage?

Because

I thought I was saying that.

But yeah, backstage.

I did already tell dad that the trophy was most likely in the Hall of Fame Room, which is off to the left in Guardhead and sealed.

Most likely.

Okay.

But you didn't say there is a chance.

I feel like you would know.

Because you made it up.

I feel like you would know.

Okay.

No, you know what?

I'll do.

You know what?

I'll have it your way.

I'll try the Hall of Fame Room.

Okay, so you approach the doors of the Hall of Fame Room.

Give me a roll to make it through, just like see how easily you can make it through this crowd.

Okay.

So give me 2d8 just to see, you know, how crowded your pathway is.

Oh, boy.

It seems pretty crowded, Trev.

I rolled a three and a two.

Yeah, you rolled a three and a two.

So I'm going to say as you are walking.

You're going to get jostled a couple times.

You're trying to make your way over there, trying to make your way through the crowd.

And as you're trying to maneuver through, you end up turning and now you're face to face uh with walter russell and he reaches out his hand like well yes welcome thank you so much for coming sorry uh

i don't

i can't place the face with a name what was your name you're walter russell

yes oh man it's so cool to meet you Okay, it's cool to meet you as well.

It's nice to meet a young man such as yourself with a good head on it.

it so what was your name son oh i'm axel aisle man i wanted to give this to you

then i handed him the badge one of your employees outside was really not doing a good job man and i told him that i would give him this different guy i think this is a different guy i think rcf ceo and owner walter russell oh okay cool the rcf for

he's the boss he's his boss i thought you were giving it to to uh

this guy's the boss of the whole thing man why wouldn't i give him the badge good Good point.

Good point.

Thank you.

Oh, and I don't know if I'll ever meet that guy dead killed.

He didn't kill him.

He took his walkie-talkie.

He gave it up alive.

He's not very good at his job.

Was it like connected to his pacemaker?

I'll say this.

If you took my walkie-talkie, you'd have to leave me dead.

I would never stop.

Oh, thank you so much, son.

I don't make sure to have a talk to with Specialist Darnett.

You said your name was Axel Isle.

Yeah, we've had some disturbing attacks on those

silver-related events lately, and um, obviously, you got a big, big old cup of your own to pass out tonight.

And we were uh a little worried that there might be some trouble.

Someone lay eyes on the thing, you know.

Oh,

well, I

could see that you have a good heart with a lot of concern in it, but I wouldn't worry about that.

I have some of my best specialists and executives here here tonight from the RCF.

Thank you so much.

I want you to just enjoy your evening.

Can I just ask?

So it's a big organization, man.

Are you sure you can really trust everybody inside of it?

Obviously, you're beyond reproach, but the whole team?

Well, let's just say if there is any trouble, I've got some special guests up my sleeve.

And he winks at you.

What are you talking about, man?

Oh, well,

I'm clearly not going to tell you, so I winked.

But why hint at it?

I'm not a child.

If you don't want to tell me, it's obviously you're right.

You're the boss of the whole thing, but don't like dangle it in front of me like a cat with a little chunk of sandwich.

Well, it's been such a pleasure talking with you.

No, you're not even listening, man.

I hope that you enjoy yourself and please consider.

I'm a fire inspector, all right?

And

I just want to check for fire problems.

That was a joke.

That's how I got in past Darnell, if you can believe me.

Darnell?

Hey, listen.

So you do pay attention to your employees.

Dale Carnkey says that's so important.

Listen, I gotta see the cup, man, and then I'll leave.

Okay, well, it will be revealed in about an hour.

Nah, it'll be gone by then.

All these thefts have happened at crowded places, just like this one.

What else do you know?

Well,

it's happened happened at a lot of museum unveilings, auctions, awards ceremonies.

I think this person doesn't just want the silver.

I think they're making a statement.

And I think that there couldn't be a much juicier target than the most secure party hosted by the most secure company.

Give me a roll, Justin.

This is all very good.

And give me 3d8s

to see what kind of sway you have.

Shine over me.

Don't forget to shine.

Shine bright like a diamond.

I got two successes.

You got two successes.

Did you spend some shine points there?

I clicked roll 3d8s.

No, the two and the three.

Yeah.

The two and the three was from him trying to get across the floor.

Okay, so two successes, five, three, two.

Two successes.

Okay.

With two successes, Walter Russell looks you up and down, and you see him non-say.

You see him

like a trustworthy fellow.

Okay, you go over there, and you tell the specials of the door that Walter said you could take a peek, but just a couple minutes, and you come right back out here.

You hear me, son?

Absolutely.

This would go easier if I had the badge, though.

Could I get that back for you?

I am going to hold on to the badge.

Fair enough.

Okay, now I walk up to Walter Russell.

Oh, good.

And I do the same thing.

And it goes exactly the same way.

My current working theory is that the culprit is Silverman.

The man who eats silver to live.

Are you with the Axeliro?

Wait, was that?

Sorry, was that after the entire conversation?

And then he tacks on at the end.

He gets a little greedy.

Yeah.

So keep an eye out.

He does everything I do and then opens.

I think it is Silverman.

Keep an eye out for Silverman.

The man who needs to eat silver.

If he doesn't eat silver, he won't be alive.

I see.

All right.

Hey, I don't know what to call you, man, but you should probably come with me.

Yep.

I see.

Now, just before you go, do you have a third friend who might come over and have the exact same conversation?

I only know one dude in the world, and he's in this room with me right now.

I guess, too, if I'm counting you, I have to go.

Wait, we do want to get...

We do want to get Roger in there, though, right?

There's no way Roger needs our help to get in there, Griffin.

You know that.

Now, Justin, you know that spies and secret agents agents aren't magical, right?

He can't walk through walls.

I know, but he seems to be the man with the magic touch so far.

The cowman, I guess, you know.

Okay, Wolf.

It feels like we as a party solved this in equal amounts of.

Yeah, you've got to go ahead for your team to go and peek in there.

Cool.

Let's peek.

As you make your way over there, you get to the door and you are ready to engage with the guards at the door.

And Agent Mingo finishes up his set and he says, Hey, everybody, thanks for being here.

I'm Agent Mingo, and this has been The Scars the Limit.

We'll be back out for another set here in just a little bit.

But before we go, oh, we're so excited.

We got a very special set of guests here to bring up to the stage.

Wouldn't be much of a sporting event without them.

Please welcome to the stage the Barnyard All-Stars.

And you hear,

and all four of them jump out, charge!

And Gridiron, the football playing bowl leader of the Barnyard All-Stars, sees you in the crowd, Roger, right away.

And points out and goes, tiny dancer.

Hello, my name is Special Agent Crane.

I'm a member of a classified organization called BIRD.

Expiration dates on food are suggestions.

Yes, you could follow these and say, hey, maybe I should stop eating this when it starts to wilt a little bit, but that's actually where the nutrients come from.

That banana you just called rank, it holds so many health benefits.

That apple you just insulted, he's not the bad one.

He's just a late bloomer.

It's time to start taking expiration dates for exactly what they are.

Suggestions.

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