The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 1: Bunny Heist!

In spite of what you have heard, we're at the height of our powers Atop the tallest of towers We stand

to trust That we will do what we must Until it's turning out just like we planned

is long But our Mojo strong And unless I'm wrong And I'm not We're at the height of our power

Today marks the 20-year anniversary of the last reported sighting of the Greenback Guardians, seen seen defending the streets of River City from the volatile pairing of criminals and crime.

Even after many other animal teams have taken up their mission to keep the people of this city safe following the convergence of 2010, has any team truly been able to fill the void that the Guardians left behind?

The citizens of River City say no.

But tonight, those same citizens may sleep a little easier.

River City has unveiled a shining tribute to heroism.

Four statues in the shape of those beloved Greenback Guardians themselves, Lamar, Lovelace, Newton, and Carver, all lovingly rendered in 10-foot-tall golden glory and keeping eternal watch over the city streets to the north, south, east, and west.

The monument is a new permanent addition to River City's famous entry pavilion and celebrates not only the heroes of yesteryear, but the opening night of the History of Heroes exhibition in the museum's West Wing Wing, sponsored by Heron Sorkin.

The History of Heroes exhibition runs for the next three months and celebrates the battles of good versus evil in River City, from villains like the Calcugator and Shoctopus to heroes like Omega Mouse and Jeremy the Badger Man.

But the true highlight of the collection?

An array of Greenback Guardians' memorabilia that includes their original signature weapons, an unseen cut of their TV pilot, and archival footage of their most famous rescues and victories.

I have to say that I, for one, feel a little safer knowing that while the Guardians are gone, they will always be with us in spirit.

Coming up after the break, it started as a simple school trip to the beach.

But what happened next?

We'll bring you the hilarious ending to that tragic tale.

Reporting for River City First News, I'm JJ August.

Stay safe out there.

The newscast transitions to the station's call letters and then ads begin to roll.

We pull back from the TV display in the window of Brody's Discount Television Wonder Emporium and make our way down a side street of River City.

Several hours have passed since JJ's broadcast first aired and the city sleeps.

But this slumber is not entirely peaceful.

We return once again to the Arthur Gallery Museum and find it shrouded in darkness.

The streetlights on either side of the entry pavilion have been tampered with, the panels cut open, and the wires chewed through.

It seems that someone is up to no good.

The bunny brood are robbing the museum.

Flopsy and Mopsy stand at the top of the steps directing henchmen carrying boxes labeled greenback guardian stuff towards a box truck.

We see Cottontail separate from the others chewing on the legs of the guardian statues.

But we also see one more thing.

Across the parking lot, taking cover behind a sensible green sedan, we see three abnormal heroes.

My first and perhaps most important question.

Whose sensible green sedan is it?

Which one of you three owns the sensible green sedan?

My guy owns a cyber truck.

He's way into that life.

Oh, way into that cyber truck lifestyle.

What an amazing way to introduce your character.

Can I say it a heel turn at the very beginning of an actual play podcast?

Can I say brief sidebar?

Huntington has its first cyber truck and it is a citywide panic trying to figure out who has the cyber truck.

It's all anybody is talking about here is which dork bought a cyber truck.

You know what?

Two, I do want to say two independent parties came to Sydney to ask if i was the culprit that's i that is like my brand is so bad apparently

so

does the green sedan belong to roger or to lile

i think it's messed up that you didn't even offer it to me i don't actually own it you just said you didn't own it you said you had a cyber truck i don't have a cyber truck that was clear i think it would i think it would be rogers if it's part of his cover as a competitive ballroom dancer.

I don't think Roger would drive a sedan.

It's like in the movies where they put him in some junkie car and it's hilarious.

This is cool, Trav.

We've never introduced the characters by saying what they aren't.

That's such an interesting divergence.

I think you've got an Aston Martin back in the back in the beach house.

I like the idea of Roger just constantly telling people he has an Aston Martin, but he can't ever drive it.

There's a bumper sticker on this sensible green Camry that says my other car is Aston Martin.

Don't trip.

The other car is an Aston Martin.

All right.

So we see Axel Isle, the extreme firefighter Axolotto.

We see Roger Moore, the cow secret agent.

We see Navy Seal, the Ross Seal.

I don't know, Beefy Boy.

And the three of you.

Ocean Commando is the title.

Ocean Commando, Beefy Boy.

And you guys can see this heist taking place

now you're far across the parking lot is a good distance away from you so you have plenty of time to plan and act between you and this heist you can see the fountains of the museum and you also can see that in this kind of driveway circle there's a manhole to the east that is between you and heist.

There is also a manhole to the west, which is closer up on the other side of their vehicles.

You can see, as I said, a street lamp to the east and west, but both of them are currently off.

Awesome.

And of course, the four statues of Lamar, Lovelace, Newton, and Carver surrounding a large golden plinth.

And then you have Flopsy and Mopsy, who are on the stairs of the museum while the henchmen are bringing stuff out and loading the truck.

And then Cottontail, who is further south, gnawing on the legs of these statues.

I turn to Axel Isle and Roger, and I start doing hand gestures.

I start doing like two fingers in the air, sort of swirl it around, three taps on my wrist, sort of brush against my face, pointing with my whole thin hand towards that area.

I point at myself, kind of put my head on top of my head, push it down, three more finger slaps on the wrist, and then I check for confirmation.

Hmm.

I am.

I'm sorry, fellas.

I'm not quite sure I know what you're indicating.

Uh.

Lyle, do you have

any idea?

Three taps.

That must must mean something.

Are you

mind me three, man?

Are you wanting us to split up?

No, I mean, maybe if that's what the situation commands, but three taps for three bogeys,

then

pushing the head down,

discretion.

When I point with the fin, it's pointing at the direction of the bogeys.

Yes.

And then.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And then this is just...

And then I brush my face.

Discretion.

Oh, I see.

Yes.

Always, man.

I asked you guys if you felt comfortable with the hand symbols.

Well, I know, but we didn't want to

up your difficulty.

You seem so proud of them, man.

None of us wanted to harsh it.

Yeah, that was.

You had this glow.

While you were describing them in our previous meeting,

it was very hard to disrupt.

Okay, so I brush my face again, three taps, thumbs up.

Now the thumbs up.

Hold on a second.

About the thumbs up.

Where are we at with that?

I just kind of shake my head and I do a little somersault roll.

I'm going to try to sneak up towards the fountain.

Now the head shake.

Okay, you're sneaking up towards the fountain.

Let's see.

Yeah, I want to get into the fountain splash down and sort of do an aquatic approach, Rambo style.

style okay give me a just straight two

d8 i'm gonna say this is an abs roll because seals i don't think are inherently sneaky no once we get in the water though oh yes we're made in the shade that's a three but then an eight which is the highest number you can roll on an eight-sided dice okay yes that is going to be a success but

Okay.

So you are able to sneak over there

and you're trying to make it to the fountain, correct?

Yes, I'm i'm trying to make it to sort of the south side of the fountain here for far away from the from the foes in the rules of this game the success butt appears above you if you get

it's humiliating

you are able to do it but you're hidden right you're not spotted but it makes a little bit more noise than maybe you were anticipating maybe you're going for it so cottontail has paused their chewing on the legs of the statue and they're a little more aware now.

Can I have my control of my token, please?

Enroll 20?

I don't.

Oh man, give me.

Gimme the toy, Trav.

Damn, you got toy.

Look at that.

We all got little toys down here, but you won't let us play with them.

I can do controlled by.

Set me loose.

Set me free.

Yeah.

Let him clear this up.

Don't make me take that control away.

Whoa, he's spinning around.

He's going crazy, guys.

Griffin, Griffin.

I'll take that audio, bud.

You're right.

Okay, what are the other two of you doing?

I would like to activate my nocturno sense.

Oh, okay.

In a darkened environment, and when not in active peril, Lyle can use sound and chemical detection to understand more about his environment, enemies, etc.

Okay, what are you trying to determine?

I'm trying to determine

places where I might not be seen, like cones of vision, that kind of thing.

Okay, excellent.

And also, like, any

big glowing weak points on their backs.

Yeah, I was going to say weak points, but like explosive barrels.

Now, that's like probably not, you know what I mean?

Just like any kind of adventure stuff, Travis, I do just want to say, this is if you do put explosive barrels in the first encounter of your like campaign, we're going to expect them.

He's Lyle has an ability to, he's exceptionally skilled at improvising melee weapons in his environment.

So he gets his weapons around him.

So I need to kind of know what I have at my disposal.

Okay, excellent.

Roll 48.

48?

Yeah.

Okay.

4d8, not 48.

Hey, man.

My nocturno sense goes wild with the 8755.

All kinds of accesses.

Yeah, that's perfect.

Okay, yeah.

First, you can see that along the side of the road closest to you, there are some vehicles parked.

Probably, you know, maybe courtesy vehicles from the museum or transport that they use.

And so that's going to give you some pretty good cover to get up pretty far along the line.

But you can also see just ahead of you in kind of the garden, you can see the like greenery and landscaping area.

It seems that they were kind of in the middle of redoing some stuff.

So you can see that the landscapers have left behind sets of shovels and some like rakes and hedge trimmers and stuff like that, a leaf blower even.

Okay, and what kind of enemies do we have?

We've got

the three bunny brood who are, you know, about like pretty tall, but ranging between like 5'10 and 6'5.

Bunny people.

Those are bipedal rabbit men, yes?

Correct.

Excellent.

Great.

As well as their three henchmen who just seem like pretty standard dudes.

Human dudes?

Yeah.

Okay.

And then just your run-of-the-mill.

What's a normal dude?

What's a normal dude?

Describe a normal average dude to me.

Me.

Isn't that interesting?

That's so fascinating to me.

That's

not surprising.

speaks volumes.

They have different facial hair, though, so you can tell the difference.

Cool, dude.

Yeah.

Good.

Oh, and they're all wearing fake bunny ears to indicate their allegiance.

That's good.

Yeah.

That's a good henchman move.

And they each have little cotton balls glued onto their butts.

Yeah.

All right.

I'm going to use the right side outside the line of

cars there

to move up closer in a discreet way and

maybe

grab myself a rake.

Okay, yeah, and with all those successes, you are able to navigate that incredibly easily and you've got your rake.

I'm going to say you're up, yeah, right about there, right by the streetlight east.

Okay, what about you, Roger?

Roger is going to rely on his natural dancing skills and just make a beeline for which one of them is gnawing on the legs of the statues?

That would be cottontail cottontail pretending to be a mime

huh stuff with you know relying on his natural you know he's gonna be pretending to be a street performer a mime oh okay got it and he's doing the old pulling yourself along with a rubber that would be very distracting excellent job man

super job Do you maybe want to go around the other side of the street than the one we are on?

Let's not be too hasty.

I think Dad's got a plan, and I think to draw attention directly to where the two of us are hiding yeah you got it dad just go to a different place

i'm going about halfway between that way i can distract for both of you okay

so how close can i get to him well that's a good thing just kind of looking at both of us

we're in both their periphery now that's awesome

yeah a bold choice dad to go ahead and move yourself up there i'm gonna have you oh okay sorry this is i would say movement is your strong suit.

Right.

So go ahead and roll 3d8 for me.

A one,

an eight, and a one.

Okay, yeah.

I'm going to say that with that kind of mixed success, you are able to move up.

And Cottontail does not immediately attack.

Cottontail's not the brightest of the three, but Cottontail is going to move to kind of meet you in the center and like is investigating what you are doing,

okay.

But so far, everybody is kind of still

more or less in cover.

But now, Roger, I'm gonna have you perform this mime routine and know that, like, Cottontail is already pretty suspicious.

I don't know why he'd be suspicious, he's he's just keeping watch outside of the heist, and a mime came up.

If that raises, stop being so jumpy, Cottontail.

Well, one, it's a rabbit.

Two, um, I would point out, bro, that was the goof.

I thought it up.

Oh, okay.

But maybe my thing was a goof in which I was pretending that I didn't know.

Okay, this in me reacting this way to it is also a goof.

We're three times.

If you're gonna make a show that families can listen to, you can't spend so much of it arguing about goofs.

Okay, kids hate.

Give me another 3d8 performance check.

Me?

Yeah.

Very well.

A four, a five, and a four.

So that five

works.

Cottontail gets into it

and with that mixed success, isn't going to attack you, but does start doing it with you by like holding your hands and doing it at the same time.

And it's like.

It's like a tug of war.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Competitive dancing.

A competitive mime.

Full context.

But he does have a hold of me, correct?

Yes, correct.

Mopsy, also with that mixed success, has started to notice something is going on with Cottontail.

It's pretty dark, though.

And so where Mopsy is, she can't see what's happening, but is aware that something's going on over there.

And is going to move a little bit this way to try to figure out what's happening.

What are you doing, Lyle and Navy?

I want to let Navy take the lead because

kind of in a point man position there.

I'll see what Navy's doing first.

I want to approach a little bit up the fountain just so I can get a better look.

I want to get an idea of how much they have already stolen, what part of the heist process it looks like we're in, if it looks like these henchmen are going to peel off and go back in to grab more stuff, or if they are about to make their getaway.

Okay, as we established

in the water, I'm going to say you don't even for this lights off.

No one's paying attention to you.

You're in the water.

It's so easy for you to get close to there.

But do give me,

yeah, just a 2d8 check to see if you can scope out how it's going.

I do have a skill, bug-eyed.

Ross seals have gigantic eyeballs that enhance Navy's powers of perception.

Oh, sick.

Okay, yeah.

Give me a 3d8.

Double success, 727.

Okay, yeah.

So at this point, the truck is pretty loaded.

Okay.

You can see lots of boxes in there, and you can overhear a little bit.

Maybe like you see them talking, like Flopsy is starting to give some congratulatory, like, thumbs up.

Like, hey, we're almost done.

Good job, everybody.

So you can tell, like, it's starting to wrap up.

You don't have long here.

And I want to remind you, Lyle, especially where you are now next to this streetlight.

You can see like the panel that was pulled off to access the wires inside and you can see like where they've been gnawed through and it's pretty like green wire is cut and there's a green wire you know underneath the red wires right so it wouldn't be hard to figure out like how to wire these back together

wire the street light back together or wire the alarm system back together what is the panel panel goes with the streetlight the alarm system you assume is inside but they don't for maybe obvious reasons give access to the alarm system outside

the building yeah

inside the building that

That makes perfect sense, Trev.

I should have gotten that through context clues for sure.

I mean, I'm ready to pop this thing off.

I don't know if

you guys are feeling like this is good.

Yeah, this is good.

I'll

push the street light over.

Huh.

Okay.

Onto the red.

Onto Mopsy.

I can't see that.

Mopsey.

Yeah.

Mopsy.

It looks like that would work.

So I'm going to do that.

Okay.

And then you can play it off like an accident, like a final destination whoopsie bat.

What are you using to do this?

Is there any skills you have?

Yeah, Trav.

I'm using a rake.

You're using a rake.

I said I grabbed it earlier, so I'm using that as a lever to make it easier.

Okay.

With my incredible strength.

So I'm picturing this correctly.

You're wedging like the rake end on shovel.

Not a rake.

Let's be sensible men.

It's a shovel.

A bumpy shovel.

Now I get it.

Okay.

Now you get it.

I'm using the tip of it underneath the bolts, and

I'm knocking it over with that, with my incredible strength.

Okay, give me a 3d8 strength check assisted by your shovel.

Two, one.

Okay, yeah.

So I will say that with a six that makes success, you are able to get it going.

Yeah.

It is making a fairly loud noise as it goes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it doesn't hit Mopsy, but it does.

Like they throw themselves backwards and like she's on the ground, right?

Very disoriented with what has just happened.

But it did draw some attention that away.

So henchman number one is headed that way to investigate.

Flopsy's heading over to help up Mopsy and be like, what the?

What was that?

Oh, and after I notice all them looking at me, I say, yeah, I'm here for a street light repair.

Okay, sorry.

Just to clarify, and this is...

Try to get to the access panel.

Okay, just so.

You're shrinking.

Yeah, I gotta access the panel.

So you,

first of all, it's like two o'clock in the morning.

Electricity doesn't sleep, and I can't either.

You can't sleep at all?

No.

I don't sleep.

We're a server.

I mean, as a server, we don't sleep.

Oh, okay.

I understand.

And to fix the light, you had to pry it from

you gotta get to the access panels, man.

Okay, yes.

Um, okay, give me a 2d8.

Unless you have something that makes this very believable.

Give me a 2d8, and is it's gonna be a tough one, Justin.

Um,

two big eights.

Here we go.

Two big eights.

Nope.

That's a three.

Yeah, so Justin, that's um

that's a fail.

Yeah, that's a failure.

Yeah, now you do get to mark a point in your experience, your advancement points.

Yeah, practice makes perfect, dude.

Point marked.

Point marked.

And Flopsy is going to come charging at you

and attack you.

Wow.

Okay.

Well, they're a bad person.

No, I know, Travis.

Just they had like a

cool they do miss you on both.

both of those were misses

um

so the battle has commenced now so far the only well cottontail's pretty aware of Roger at this point but the only one they're dancing traffic

okay yeah in the beautiful mind dance um henchmen one and two are also going to move in to you uh Lyle so henchman one

uh an eight does hit uh so you're gonna take one point of damage from them and henchman two

uh another hit so you've taken two points of damage because you don't currently have any uh natural armor um

okay now navy since you are still undiscovered and undercover is your turn to act yeah and you can act and then once you're engaged or whatever you do

take a surprise round if you okay cool

i am going to use a mondo move

why

i think in this scenario the most important thing is not even my life it is that these precious cultural treasures uh these relics of the greenback guardians cannot be

cannot be stolen so i am going to use torpedo when submerged in water navy seal can launch himself at a foe at tremendous speed closing large gaps and dealing huge damage i'm going to say not a foe i'm going to charge up the splash pack this huge aqua jet pack I have on my back, and I'm going to launch myself like a like a missile from God at just the side of the truck.

Ooh, a lot.

Okay, give me a 48 roll against the truck.

That's an 8784.

I think double eights.

What you've got right there?

That's a mega cowabunga, my friend.

Yeah, my friend.

That's very good.

That's the best thing you can get in this game.

Yeah, it works.

And

so you

impact the truck.

I shout as I fly towards the air.

I yell, Munch Blubber!

Yeah,

I love that.

You slam into the truck in such a way that your naturally protective blubber takes the impact, so you don't take any damage from this, but you hit it perfectly, right?

So that the connection that connects the cab of the truck with the cargo area snaps loose.

Oh, nice.

Right.

So right now, there would be no way for them to haul that away unless it is repaired.

Yeah.

And the truck nuts just go flying.

The truck nuts just falling.

They slap up against the front door.

Oh, stop.

You're making me nauseous.

Normally, it would be funny.

But in this circumstance, because of the severity of the situation and

the mistakes, it's kind of scary that the truck nuts are flying so violently.

That was the added effect of that move, the intimidation.

Well, the and is uh, you didn't take damage, it's not just damaged but broken.

And Henchman 3 is so surprised by this impact, he was moving over, but he is like knocked down.

Nice.

So you can act on him as well.

Hmm.

We haven't really discussed

the level of violence

we are willing

to bring to bear.

Yeah.

I mean, I think

here's where I'm at.

Axolotl's got to be able to lose limbs.

But I don't think there's got to be blood.

No.

So what I'm thinking is

no blood.

No blood.

No blood is real right.

No blood, no.

Lots of

getting knocked out.

Okay.

But you can lose limbs.

Yeah.

I mean, like,

you can.

Yeah.

You can get sliced up and stuff, but like, you just just, it never bleeds there's no blood don't worry about any blasphem uh okay everybody's very blase if henchman three is just laying down on the ground i'm just going to like sort of walk close not laying down don't make it sound like he just is taking a nap he fell backwards he's surprised yeah but he's prone right he's down he's on the ground yeah i'm just gonna walk over here to start checking out the situation and then just very casually just kind of lay down on him just kind of very casually just sort of flop over to the side like i'm just like because you're a big i'm hopping into onto the onto the love seat at the end of a long day at work like that energy of casualness.

Yeah, and you've got the skill of bulky boy.

Yes, that's true.

That is true.

So give me a 3d8 roll.

Oh, that's bad.

That's worse.

I got double ones on that one.

A one, two, one.

Yeah, you go, but you sit down upon him.

But you maybe sit down in kind of an awkward way, and you end up rolling backward.

Yeah.

So now the two of you are kind kind of laying prone next to each other as the one observes the other one like, what's what happened?

This is nice.

That's weird.

I landed on thy keys.

Oh no.

I hate when that happens, man.

I hear one of my cats upstairs crying.

You know what they're, you know what they're upset about.

Just like the state of things and whatever.

No, they're only ever wanting one thing and that's for me to get the smalls out dad we don't know how to

yeah they love the smooth bird dad we want our smooth bird we can have jobs

we can't buy our own food we don't know how to order things dad we're so scared we're cats and we've gained complete uh human intelligence what's happening where are we yeah Where are we?

But you know what?

I calm them right down with smalls because you're going to get a package of smalls, right?

You're going to open it up.

You're going to put it it in front of your cats there put it into a bowl whatever you're gonna i don't know your business but when you put it out there these cats are gonna freak out and you're also gonna see some long-lasting effects in my experience at least my cats have been a little healthier they've had a nice nice looking coat and they just love they love smalls they love it smalls cat food is protein packed recipes made with preservative free ingredients um and it's delivered right to your door and cats.com named it their best overall cat food and get this after switching to smalls 88 of cat owners report overall health improvements for smalls food that's a big deal for a limited time only because you are i was really proud of that justin i was really proud

sorry trav that was great thank you for a limited time only because you're an adventure zone listener you can get 60 off your first smalls order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash adventure that's 60 off when you head to smalls.com slash adventure plus free shipping again that's smalls.com slash adventure hey this week we're coming to sorry to interrupt i just kind of burst in.

Okay.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Hey, I'm also sorry.

I'm also sorry.

And I'm here and I'm interrupting too.

If you're coming to

our shows this week in San Antonio and Austin, thank you.

If you're not already planning on coming, why not?

We want to see you there.

We need you there.

Join us.

What are you doing?

That's so great.

Yeah.

If you're coming to the show and you want to have a question,

you got a question you want answered.

You want a fear read aloud?

We got you.

Email that to mbmbam at maximumfund.org and put your city in the subject line in Austin.

And also doing what, Trav?

What are we doing in Austin, buddy?

Well, we're doing Adventure Zone versus Hercules, and it's going to be a real treat.

You're going to feel happier than you've ever felt in your entire life.

Yeah, we're also coming to Utah and California later this year.

Tickets for all those shows are on sale now.

More info and ticket links are available at bit.ly forward slash McElroy Tours.

Oh, we also have new merch because it's a new month.

Yeah.

New month, new merch, new you.

Well, yeah, sort of.

We've got a brand new Gerald t-shirt over there designed by Lynn Doyle.

Go to macroymerch.com.

Check it out.

And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Equality Florida, which is dedicated to securing full equality for Florida's LGBTQ community.

So go to macroymerch.com to get yours now.

Jackie Cation.

Hi, and welcome to the MaximumFun.org podcast, the Jackie and Laurie Show, where we talk about stand-up comedy and how much we love it and how much it enrages us.

We have a lot of experience and a lot of stories and a lot of time on our hands.

So check us out.

It's one hour a week, and we drop it every Wednesday on maximumfun.org.

Hello, podcast recommendation service.

Hello, dear young man.

I'm looking for a new podcast to listen to.

Something amusing, perhaps.

Oh, what about Beef and Dairy Network?

Something surreal and satirical.

Well, I would suggest Beef and Dairy Network.

Ideally, it would be a spoof industry podcast for the beef and dairy industries.

Yes, Beef and Dairy Network.

Maybe it would have brilliant guests such as Josie Long, Heather Ann Campbell, Nick Offerman, and the actor Ted Danson.

Beef and Dairy Network?

I don't know.

I think I'm going to stick to Joe Rogan.

The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is a multi-award-winning comedy podcast, and you can find it at maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

Okay, up next.

So, Roger.

Cottontail, having observed both of these attacks, is now on the defense, but you still get to act first

because they had not maybe caught on to you quite yet.

So, you have like one chance to do something here.

What are you doing?

Roger looks at Cottontail

and says,

pardon me, may I have this dance?

And does his Mondo move, the Whango Bango Tango.

Hate that.

The names.

When someone grabs Roger or attempts to grab him, and he's already been grabbed, he can counter grab the opponent and put them into a disorienting spin.

And I think he's going to try to spin him around, disorient him, and throw him into Mopsey.

Oh, okay, excellent.

Yeah, give me a 48 roll.

7, 7, 8, and 1.

Yeah, that double seven there is going to be a is going to be a cowbunga as well.

So you are able to not only successfully throw them into Mopsey, but Mopsy and Cottontail go rolling into a tangle of bunny, and they are both knocked prone.

And Lyle, you are up.

Oh, wait, I have to say my

stereotypical bon ma.

Oh, I thought you were going to be able to do that.

He has to make some remarks afterwards, you know, like

don't Peter out.

Oh, I get it.

I don't.

I really don't.

It's like, I think, Peter Cottontail, because of just Cottontail,

yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm just saying.

That would be the best one of those.

I'm gonna do

hold on.

Let me look at the judges.

Yeah, the judges say it plays.

All right, so nice, Dad.

All right, Lyle, you're up.

To remind you, I've henchman one and henchman two, as well as Flopsy.

So

I don't understand hassling somebody who's just here to fix the electricity.

No, I've already seen through that clever ruse.

Oh.

Well, in that case, and I'll swing the shovel in an arc, hitting all of them.

Didn't see that coming, did I?

Wait, did you?

You'll never know.

It really did feel like you were putting that sentence together as, like, plank by plank as you cross the bridge.

This is the way we need this arc to go.

Okay.

Give me a 3d8 roll because you do have the skill anything's a drum.

So you're very good with improvised weapons um so give me that 3d 8 roll and we will determine how well this swing goes

got a 8 and then a 4 and a 1 okay so i'm gonna say that you make contact with one of them i'll let you choose which one you want uh let's say henchman one because that'll definitely get hit into mop mopsy well i mean it's a little it's a little beefier than that but it does clang

right off of his head cool um The bunny ears go flying, and he is knocked unconscious.

The Hantren aren't very tough guys.

Yeah.

Hence the name.

So he's off the board.

Holy crap.

He knocked him like 20 feet away.

Man.

Yeah, I don't know how to mark it.

I don't know how to make it clear.

Like, that guy's unconscious.

But I like him.

Just make him go away.

I don't want to see him.

There we go.

I got it.

Boom.

A little sleepy face there.

That was almost a King Cobra Island.

Okay, so Flopsy is going to attempt

to kick you real good

by dropping back on his butt.

It's a six, so you're going to take a point of damage for that.

How are you looking as far as damage goes?

I...

You've taken three so far.

Okay, well, that's three then.

Let me mark those.

One, two, three.

Got it.

And then the henchman two is also going to just take a swing at you with big meaty piece.

Oh jeez.

That's a double six.

There's two points of damage there.

You're going to need to eat something radical soon.

Okay.

Next, we've got...

So Henchman 3 laying next to you is going to attempt to get you pinned down.

So they are attempting a strength competition against you.

So they rolled one success but you are a bulky boy you're hard to knock down hard to pin down so you can roll three d8s three successes well there you go you you not only beat it but you uh cow it bunga did it yeah with the double fives so now you have him pinned down nice the way you had originally intended to but maybe not as permanently as when he was first knocked from but you are definitely you have the advantage here and it is your move um okay i mean if i'm on top of this dude, I consider that pretty well neutralized.

He is, I'm big, and he's not as big, and so that's got to be bad for him.

Instead, I'm going to look directly up at the two bunnies that have just collided here, Cottontail and Mopsy.

As long as they are sort of stacked up like that, I'm going to try and take this opportunity.

I am going to look up at them.

target them with my big old eyes

and then sort of twist the nozzles of my jetpack the opposite way so that they're pointing up and try to blast them with a high-pressure jet of brine.

So you're remaining sitting on Hinchman 3

and you're blasting

Mopsy and Kanto.

Okay.

Give me, because you're using hydro propulsion, you're using your splashback.

So give me a 3d8 attack.

277.

That is Kawabunga with those double sevens.

Kawabungas are off the charts this app.

Yeah.

So you blast them, and what are you hoping to accomplish with this?

I don't know, knock them back into the crowd of bad guys that are actively killing.

Yeah, that takes a while.

The two of them go rolling

and they impact

into Flopsy.

So the three of them are now in a soaking wet bunny bundle.

And they're going to get knocked

far enough away that there's a little more breathing room for Lyle there.

It's your turn.

I tap my wrist again, looking exasperated.

Three times.

Bunny ears on the head.

Pushing down on my head.

Nodding.

I think he wants us to take our pulse.

I'm more dead than alive.

Good point.

I don't know much about the exolotl circulatory system.

Roger, you are up can Roger get to the wet rabbits

yeah I mean Roger is you know a bull pretty well known for charging

so I'm gonna say that movement yeah very easy to reach okay for you

the plan is to use his cattle prods When he gets up to them, he kind of does like a breakdance move like the worm.

And

now is it like the worm

let's say it is well he has to be able to touch his I want him to touch his horns to one of the wet rabbits to give a shot and the only way to do that is the worm yeah it's the worm that's so basic physics he that's science he busts into the worm and uses his cattle prods which are metal caps on the ends of his horns that act like a taser and since everybody's in a wet tangle I figure that will transmit to all three of them

yeah give me that 3d8.

We're going to see how effective that is.

Four, two, and six.

So with only one success, I'm going to say it is going to be super effective on one of them, moderately effective on another, and doesn't touch the third.

So which one are you hoping to knock unconscious with this taser?

Whoever is the healthiest.

No, let's no, let's just do a quick.

You do a quick vet check.

Get a doctorometer.

Hey, guys.

Make sure none of them have any kind of like heart irregularities that this kind of shock.

What about in your family history?

There might be some sort of Mopsy.

Let's go with Mopsy.

No, no, Cottontail.

He started with Cottontail.

Let's let's go on with Cottontail.

I would love to continue the trend of dad accidentally electrocuting and killing APC in the first handful of episodes of the

well.

This is non-lethal shocking.

Okay, cool.

Yeah.

Non-lethal wet shocking.

It's funny shocking.

With the combination of the soaking wet fur and the

tasers here,

you are going to

knock Cottontail out for at least a round, if not more.

We'll see how well they do.

Now, Mopsy gets some of it and is definitely not looking as hail and hardy as they were before.

Flopsy is able to dampen the impact of

the bulk enough that you, yeah, rubber-soled shoes, big, you know, big rabbit-sized rubber-soled shoes.

So they are looking untouched by this.

Let's see.

Next is you, Lyle.

You got one more henchman on you.

The other henchman currently unconscious.

Yeah, so you just got the one henchman.

I'm going to.

I got to heal myself.

I'm going to re- Which of my limbs am I missing?

How many limbs does the Naxolotl start with?

Well, when a mommy axolotl and a daddy axolotl, I actually don't know if that's you know, okay, wait, hold on.

You know that you can put iodine in an axolotl to turn it into a salamander, but you don't know how many legs it's got?

Four, man.

And the tail and the head.

That's six limbs.

And the tail and the head.

Six limbs.

Um, I'm going to say that your tail

has been damaged in this fight.

That is where we are seeing the bulk of your damage.

Okay.

I would like to

heal my tail.

Okay.

So you're currently missing how many hit points?

Five.

Okay.

Give me a roll of...

Let's see here.

Yeah, give me a 3d8 roll, and we'll see how effectively you recover those hit points.

Okay.

Oh, no.

Ah, babes.

Well,

those are three failures.

How busted is the tail that comes out?

How busted and wrong is that new to you?

I do know what happens, Trav.

The tail just kind of, as you're trying to push it out,

you're making the noise,

whatever your basic noise for a single limb is.

Okay.

And the henchmen's like looking at you and curious, waiting to see what happens.

And nothing happens.

And there's a look of concern.

on the henchmen's face that just doesn't sit right with you at all.

It doesn't make you feel good about about yourself or your abilities.

Okay.

But you do.

Hey, practice makes perfect, dude.

That's a second point of advancement.

Okay, but no healing has taken place.

No, sadly, no healing has taken place.

You might have suffered more emotional damage.

And the hint and says, listen, man, I'm going to try to hit you again, but are you okay?

Hey.

That's actually so cool of you.

Thank you for checking in on me.

Yeah, I'm

I'm I've been better.

I mean, I feel like I'm learning a lot today.

Oh, sorry about this, and they punch you for one more point of damage.

Nerds

up next is Hinshin.

We only have eight hit points, right?

Yeah, so Lyle's almost cashed in, cashed in his chips.

Yeah, three-quarters of those hit points are awesome.

Henshin, number three, still sitting on top of you, says, or you're sitting on top of him, says,

Listen, I just wanted to say, even though you're squishing me and it's like my job to uh stop you i just wanted to say thank you for your service oh uh

sorry i should make clear i am not nor have i ever been an active duty service member in our armed forces Maybe you heard it.

Why do you call yourself a Navy SEAL?

Oh, um, well, I didn't actually know about that being a thing when my color was assigned to me.

I was a member of the Royal Seals.

You're familiar with them, I hope.

And

so I was...

They punch you twice, you lose two points.

And with it being two successes on those hits, I'm just going to say, like,

you get not quite knocked off of them, but knocked back enough.

So it's like maybe your legs are over them still.

But they're able to like breathe again and they start to try to get up.

Okay.

But you are up.

It's your turn there, Navy Seal.

As they're standing up, I look at them enraged and hurt.

And I say,

I have nothing but the utmost respect for our brave heroes fighting our important wars overseas.

It just kind of sounds like a practiced response to somebody asking you about.

Well, I've had to say it a bunch of times.

And I blast him full force with the splashback.

Double barrel.

Give me 3d8.

5-7-4.

Two Two successes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He goes flying backwards, bonks against the back of the truck.

You hear another bonk.

And he is knocked unconscious.

Flopsy is going to take a big old kick swing at you there, Mac.

Roger.

Oh, geez.

Oh, boy.

That's three successes, a five, a seven, and an eight.

That's three points of damage on old Roger there.

And then Mopsy is also going to take a swing at you.

And that's only one point of damage.

And eight.

So that's four points of damage on Roger there.

And then Cottontail is going to try to wake up, but not good enough.

Doesn't wake up.

They're still unknown conscious.

I'm going to say they remain so.

Lyle, you have one hincher on you.

You're not looking great.

Roger, it's your turn.

I'm going to

use my fighting skill, Mu Tai.

Okay.

Uh-huh.

and I'm going to kick Cottontail no Cottontail's unconscious it's brutal Mopsy is weekend Flopsy is full Mopsy I'm gonna do hit Mopsy he could make Cottontail more unconscious

let's just try to mechanic unconscious yeah there we go give me that 3d8 roar sweet 3d8 4 1 and a 7

Yeah, on that one hit, that's really all you needed because she was already looking

pretty woozy.

So on that hit, yeah, she's knocked unconscious.

Lyle, you are up.

You got the one henchman on you.

We got basically one henchman left, two unconscious bunnies, and Flopsy is still up.

I don't want to try to heal again.

That's boring.

I'm gonna.

So wait, one of the henchmen is under the street light still.

The one that is still up.

Yes, I'm gonna

finish the fight guardian

sorry darling looks like i'm back for seconds and i pushed the pole again i'm gonna i'm gonna knock that person out i'm gonna knock that henchman out okay give me uh 3d 8 roll this one is a lot easier um because it's already pretty loose uh so yeah

Yeah, all it needed really was one success on that one because you'd already done it once.

I was going to fall over you here loud bonk.

And that henchman is knocked unconscious as well.

At this point, Flopsy is going to panic, the only one left, and kind of shakes Mopsy and Cottontail and the henchmen just awake enough for them to all go running away.

And you have won this.

Wait a minute.

No way.

Now, Juice, we talked about this.

The only victory condition in the Adventure Zone Adminals is all the bad guys run away.

Or they have to run away.

There can't be any permanent damage made to any of these people.

Or they get sent to Argo.

But, like, I'm not about, I'm not about that.

Let me help.

I see.

This little fella is stuck under the post.

Let me move.

There you go, fella.

You can go ahead and thank you.

Let's get out of here.

I think all the history should have to make like wounded baby animal noises as they scamper back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's a lot of like

now.

Let's see what these guys were were so desperate to get their hands on.

When you look in the back of the truck, you are surprised to find that someone has beaten you there.

There's a shadowy figure, you know, wrapped in a coat and a hat pulled down low that is going through the box.

It's a mummy!

Look out, fellas!

What?

I start charging up the splash pack.

I'm not messing with no mummies today.

Hey, thanks for taking care of my light work and everything, but this is

of where your job here is, so you all can go.

And who might you be, my good man?

Oh, okay.

Yeah,

I'm the guy who just told you to leave.

Hey, listen, people tell us to leave all the time, man.

You gotta be more specific.

Wait, you're waiting, hold on.

You're an axolotl, right?

I'm axelisle.

So that's a yes?

Well, well, I mean, a Max Lalisle.

Axolotls are a lot smaller than me.

But yeah.

And

a cow and a seal?

What's the theme you guys are going for?

We're still figuring that out.

I'm pushing for growth and connection.

That is all my theme.

So while some people might have the theme of like all birds, right?

Or like all barnyard animals, your theme is growth and connection.

And connection and equal measure.

Listen, we're still work shopping and we weren't necessarily going to.

We're thinking about the name Grow Connectors.

Ooh.

With a side of respect.

Okay.

You guys should also think about getting armor and not getting hit as much because you all look rough.

They handed them out of feet.

Well, you think that now, but watch this.

Yeah, give me that role, Justin.

What is that roll?

3DA?

3DA.

Come on, baby.

Yeah!

Stop calling me baby.

I got two successes.

Yeah, with the two successes,

out of your five hit points, you recover three.

Your tail regrows, not to full.

But

listen,

you know that given time, it will be back to your impressive tail once more.

Okay, listen, I'm not going to lie, man.

That was absolutely wild.

Yeah.

You regrew your butt.

You should be inside of it.

Seeing it from the inside out, and it ain't no treat either, partner.

I'm living it.

I'm living that experience.

Okay, this whole time, this figure has still been looking through boxes, and you see this figure, their whole body language shifts as they reach into a box and they pull out Carver's signature baseball bat.

And they start like spinning it around and you know kind of getting a feel for it.

I shout, I shout, hey mommy, that belongs in a museum.

Well, no, actually it doesn't.

It belongs to me.

And who are you?

They

turn and they're still shadowed, but they're like, I

it belong.

Okay, it belongs to me, right?

And who's okay.

I connect the street light.

You said it was easy to connect so I'm gonna go and connect it and then a light from that to illuminate this person the light flips on and you get enough light to see the face that has been hidden in shadow underneath this hat and it's the face of Carver the hot-headed loose cannon of the greenback guardians.

Oh

wow, man.

Well, Carver?

Okay.

Um

could I knock all three of them unconscious in such a way that they'll forget That they saw no need Carver.

Okay, what please this is your bat.

This is your bat this is so victim

in in in in my car

Yeah, but I really need you guys to like not tell people we did like we disappeared 20 years ago and I really needed to get

so discreet carver.

I promise I'm such a huge fan.

I would I promise you I can keep a huge secret Who are we talking about even?

Who are you talking to?

I don't see anybody.

you don't know Carter man no I'm playing along it's like a huge a huge deal I'm playing along with his wings yeah that's my statue did you see my statue the one that the chewy one was kind of gnawing on that was me that that's looks exactly like you that's what I'm looking at like oh that's what I see I run over I start polishing off the chew marks please sir let me let me take care of this for you sir this is I'll have this looking shiny and new.

Carver comes over and give me all three of you.

and if you have anything that gives benefits to this like you're trying to like check his body language see what you can tell from from this look this that he's giving this statue I got double successes a 6'6 a bunga yeah with that double success you can see like the look that crosses through his eyes the body language he's staring up this statue of himself that is him, but at least 20 years younger.

The greenback audience haven't been seen, but this is probably modeled after, like, you know, 25 years younger.

And here stands before you a hero in their at least mid-50s.

And there is nostalgia mixed with kind of sorrow, mixed with like a certain amount of loss.

that you can see in his life.

Oh, that is completely lost on me.

So, tell me, real quick, in Greenback Guardian surf the moon,

it seems like there was a little bit of tension happening between you and Lamar.

And a lot of people were saying, like, maybe it was happening off-camera, too, and that you guys are sort of building off of that.

And I'm like, no way, these are best friends for life.

That is just how good of actors they are.

Do you have anything that I can take back to the fan page?

Well, not, okay.

Once again, no, no, but it's quiet.

Secret, quiet, secret, quiet.

Okay.

Let's see.

Which one was that?

Surf the moon, you said?

Greenback Guardian Surf the Moon.

Oh, yeah.

Lamar was being a jerk about, like, it it was a craft service thing where he was like, You ate all the Twizzlers.

And I was like, I don't even like Twizzlers.

And yeah, that was that went on for like six weeks.

God, you're amazing.

Mr.

Carver.

Who are these?

Lyle had a question.

Carver.

Carver.

Lyle had a question.

Where are the other guys?

Are they running around too?

I mean, I'm sure they're somewhere.

I haven't talked to those dudes in, let me check, yeah, 20 years.

Oh, well, why did you pop up here now?

Just to get your bat to get Slugger?

Yeah, man.

He's been bouncing around in like private collections and all this stuff.

I had no idea where he was.

And then I saw the news report and they said that our signature items were going to be there.

So I was like, oh, I better go get Slugger.

I bet he misses me.

I missed him.

Well, can we have the other ones?

Or no, man.

They belong.

Shouldn't that work?

But he's here and he can do anything he wants.

He's still

above the law.

You know what?

I don't think it's right.

I think you should put it back, man.

Okay.

Do you?

Yeah.

I might agree with Lyle.

I think, you know, it's...

You know, you guys have been, you put in a lot of work, and we're all really grateful, but we've been the ones cleaning things up around here lately, and I don't see why you just waltz in here, let us do all the hard work and then you take the bat

okay so just to be clear right um i'm looking at you you say you've been cleaning up the streets and everything so are you guys in fiba force or code named bird or uh the royal seals

i'm former force uh we we had some differences uh uh but you know i'm i'm i'm figuring things out i i i've heard from them uh a few times

It's been a little bit, but, you know, I'm still kind of off and on, I guess.

Off and on.

That's what I, yeah, man, off and on.

And I'm still in my 90-day probationary period with the organization.

So

I've been operating as kind of a lone cow on my own.

Just recently joined these two.

I was a Royal Seal before I was dishonorably discharged.

From the Royal Seals, not the actual military, of which I've never been.

Got it.

I don't know why.

They gotta see discharge.

These guys aren't even like a real team.

Okay, got it.

Yeah.

Well, hold on.

I'm gonna go.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

In

Greenback Guardian's Pepperoni Slumber Party,

it seemed like the romance arc that was happening between you and Kylie Minogue's character,

it It felt like that also was real behind camera.

And I was also just wondering if you could spill the tea on if you had an off-screen robots with Kylie Minogue during the making of that motion picture.

Not during the making of it, no.

What are the other signature items that are here?

We have Carver's Bat.

We've got Lamar has a spiked shield.

Loveless is hook and chain.

And Newton's

an envelope of voice.

And Newton's was a boomerang.

So a boomerang, a spiked shield, and a hook and chain.

Okay, I'm gonna

pick over.

Walk over and pick up the hook and chain.

Hey, what do you know?

No.

That's loveless.

Well, I thought we were

all having some fun here, right?

All right.

You know what?

You know what?

I'll make you guys a deal.

You put our stuff down first, though, right?

You put your stuff down.

I start swinging the hook.

Now, you don't know me.

My name's Axe Lalisle.

I'm an extreme firefighter.

And if you're wondering if I'm going to be able to hit this shot with this hook and this rope,

I've hit way longer on way smaller toe holds, partner.

Okay.

All right.

I toss the hook at the bat.

Whoa.

Okay.

Let's do this.

And he throws off his coat, and you can just see, though he is in his 50s, still quite in shape.

Scars across his body,

armored underneath his coat.

And he squares off for a fight.

It's not fair that you didn't take that off before we fought.

Hey kids, Sergeant Salamander here with another amphibact from the amphibaforce.

Ever jumped off the last step on your way to get to school?

Well, over 90% of stair-related injuries occur on the last step of the staircase.

Why put your foot in your mouth when you could stay on your toes?

Let's hang 10 on that last step every time and your heel turn will stay flat footed.

Ankles!

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