An Ode To Astrid

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Speaker 4 And welcome back to WSHIT's morning news. It's news you can use while you sweat out the booze.

Speaker 4 A fast-moving news day in CrabApple yesterday as the township PTA held an emergency meeting to irate parents of Crab Apple Middle School.

Speaker 4 All of this started when rumors began to spread on social media regarding a large, furry, human-shaped kitty cat that had been installing litter boxes meant for pee-pee-poo-poo in the middle of middle school restrooms.

Speaker 4 Then early in the day yesterday, an emergency school board meeting was called in order to address the rumors.

Speaker 4 Members of the local gloopy political party demanded all litter boxes be removed from local schools and that any furry human-shaped kitty cat be removed from the school, thrown in the back of an unmarked vehicle, and disappear to a for-profit work camp.

Speaker 4 While the the rumors of a furry human kitty cat installing litter boxes inside of the school could not be independently confirmed by WSHIT, we must agree with the pure speculation in order to receive additional government funding.

Speaker 4 However, some members of the school board did push back on those rumors. Here's an exchange that happened during that emergency PTA meeting.

Speaker 5 Can you name a school where it has been confirmed that students are using litter boxes?

Speaker 5 Well, what we do with this bill is we prevent that from happening, but what we don't

Speaker 4 take out, what we're doing.

Speaker 5 Can you name a school where it has been confirmed that students are using litter boxes? This was at the top of your press release.

Speaker 5 This was mentioned when you introduced this bill, created quite a stir. So I'm asking, can you name a school where it's been confirmed that there are litter boxes being provided to students?

Speaker 5 For this purpose, no, I cannot.

Speaker 4 And in further news regarding this OMOS news, the mayor of Crabapple has now deployed 300 militarized, masked, armed men to roam the halls of the middle school looking for the pretend furry human-shaped kitty cat.

Speaker 4 The mayor said in his statement that all furry human-shaped kitty cats will be eliminated under his watch and further said we have the best middle schools. Everybody talks about our middle schools.

Speaker 4 We're making the middle schools fantastic again. For the record, this reporter does not disagree.

Speaker 4 And I would like to further congratulate the mayor on scoring a negative two in his most recent round of golf, winning the club championship for the 37th year in a row. A negative two.

Speaker 4 Unbelievable accomplishment, sir. We'll be back after this commercial break.

Speaker 1 On this episode of the Commercial Break.

Speaker 1 There's the old line. It's cliche, it's trite, but it's one of the best lines ever written in song, history, or book.
And it says, you make me want to be a better man. That's Jack Nicholson.

Speaker 1 And is this as good as it gets? And

Speaker 1 I think anybody who's had that kind of relationship will understand that line. Man or woman will understand that line when you find the right person.
So true. And I hope it happens for you out there.

Speaker 1 It's happened for me. Yeah.
And listen, I was 67 years old when I met Astron.

Speaker 1 So that's 67. And I was 82 when I started having children.
So it's still Charlie Chaplin. Yeah, I am the Charlie Chaffin.

Speaker 1 Charlie Chappin had kids at 100.

Speaker 1 The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the Commercial Break.
I'm Brian Greene. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley.
Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.

Speaker 1 Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us.
We appreciate it. We are sitting here in in our new

Speaker 1 merch. And our new duds.

Speaker 1 That's right. We glowed up.
Check out the fit, as the kids would say. Check out the fit.
Our merch is here. It's being sold on a website this Friday.

Speaker 1 I know this is not coming out on Friday, so settle down. Not quite yet, but very soon, you will be able to buy our merch.
ShopTCBPodcast.com is where you can find that 3 a.m. on Friday.

Speaker 1 For those who'd like to get an early start on your Black Friday TCB shopping, you can start at 3 a.m. Eastern Time.
3 a.m. I thought it was 3 p.m.
So midnight,

Speaker 1 what is flying around in the air?

Speaker 1 No, it's midnight West Coast time, 3 a.m. East Coast time is when the website will go live.
I'm going to say that, and it's not going to go live until like six in the afternoon.

Speaker 1 Because that's how it goes. But I do like the merch, I will say, I am impressed.

Speaker 1 I'm sporting the piggy fronting. I've got the university sweater on, the commercial break university sweater.
It looks good, feels good. I've been wearing it for,

Speaker 1 I'm not gonna say how many days I've been wearing it for, but I still smell fresh. I take three showers a day, so it's okay.

Speaker 1 I can wear the sweater, plus, I got a t-shirt on under it, so it protects me. I got a layer there, I got a layer of protection.

Speaker 1 I have rules around my clothing and when I can wear it and when I can't. Socks, as long as I don't wear them for more than a couple hours, I can wear them again the next day.
But two days is the max.

Speaker 1 Two days is the max. And if I wear them for the whole day, they got to go in the basket.
They have to.

Speaker 1 Anyway, shop TCBpodcast.com.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Look at those bombas.

Speaker 1 You know, I will say this. Oh, are you playing footsie with me? Watch out.
Hey, Jeff.

Speaker 1 My tasty teeters. I'm going to put my tasty toes on

Speaker 1 your tasty toes.

Speaker 1 We're touching teas. We are.
Touching teas. Touching toes.

Speaker 1 I do share with the audience that, you know,

Speaker 1 this is good March. I like it.
I'm into it. Me too.
So, shop tcbpodcast.com. You know the drill.
I'm not going to beat you over the head with it. Shop TCBPodcast.com.
Shop TCBPodcast.com.

Speaker 1 ShopTCBPodcast.com. And now, and only now, for $19.99 plus $19.99 shipping and handling, you get a free, exclusive, limited-time TCB embroidered sticker with every single purchase.

Speaker 1 It's not really embroidered, but it looks embroidered. TCB sticker.

Speaker 1 We got stickers. We're going to throw them in.
Look at that.

Speaker 1 We're doing doing it right. And it's so exciting.
It only took us six years to get to this point. I was digging around in the drawer yesterday and I found a couple stickers.
One was the Frankie.

Speaker 1 Look at my body. Look at my body.

Speaker 1 And the piggy. Piggy fronting.
Yes. Your face on the Teresa computer wear.

Speaker 1 One of my daughters thinks that's the funniest thing in the world. That's so funny.
And my other daughter thinks that's the scariest thing in the world. We've got them on the refrigerator.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So when people come over, they know what a moron I am. They know just how poor we are.
Oh, that's what he does for a living. Piggy fronting.

Speaker 1 Chrissy and I just went to Starbucks, which we've only been, I think, twice the entire, together, the entire time that we've been here. We've only been twice.

Speaker 1 But as soon as we walked in the door, I then realized we're wearing the merch, and I'm like, shit.

Speaker 1 I know some people there know about the commercial brand. Well, they certainly all know you because as soon as I walked in, Brian!

Speaker 1 There were five.

Speaker 1 There were five and five very lovely employees there, and they all knew my name. Stories are true.

Speaker 1 Stories are true. It was amazing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then they thought I was your wife. One of them thought.
I had to correct. Yeah.

Speaker 1 One of them, who's not been there as long as others, but she's been there, I don't know, like six, nine months, something like that. She goes, is this your wife? Which is a good question.
Yes.

Speaker 1 For someone you know, I would have been presumptuous had we not known each other so well, but I think that is kind of presumptuous.

Speaker 1 Anyway, if i what if you were like my mistress i know you would have blown the deal right there what if i had never told you but then again i would be a real fucking moron to bring you into that starbucks if you were my mistress because people do know my wife up there they know my starbucks boyfriend they know my kids and then they said to me when we were leaving bye best friend bye best friend

Speaker 1 i could

Speaker 1 i could see the two managers talking on the headset too and looking at us so i think they were oh that's the girl that's the girl he does the podcast with yeah and then they're cucking their own merch walking in the door i know what if we went around like door-to-door salespeople with a box of merch we went up to star market

Speaker 1 i know we had a bunch of family members in town over the week a bunch of

Speaker 1 family members in town over the weekend and

Speaker 1 the merch showed up while they were here and everyone was like i want it how do i get it and i think they were hoping that i would say oh i'll get you some yeah and what i said was shopccdpodcast.com no freezing here

Speaker 1 you don't get a free ride just because you know me what are you talking about

Speaker 1 um yeah but they all were impressed by the merch and and so and i know you have a friend who's who's already trying oh my god he's already on the website shout out to my dear dear friend up in nashville brian thomas bt bt bt what up bt

Speaker 1 he's a newly minted super fan i sent you i forwarded the text that he sent me he just he's been he's he looks like he's really into it yeah someone get him checked by a psychiatrist immediately.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he said he'd listened to 165 episodes in the, I don't know how long of what period of time. Yeah.
But he's like, I'm all caught up now.

Speaker 1 And I'm, it's, but it's nice to like meet you guys where you're finally doing new episodes. Exactly.
And he was already trying to buy the merch.

Speaker 1 What was, what was amazing about that text message you sent me is it said, I started at episode 665. I've listened to 165 and I'm now just catching up with you guys.
And I'm like, he started at 665.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What an accomplishment.
We are. He's been listening for like six months or so.
If I want to think about it yet. 360 episodes in six months?

Speaker 1 No, I guess that's four episodes a week or something like that. I don't know.
I can't do math. I can't do that.

Speaker 1 I'm not even going to. Yeah.
Leave that to the accountant. The accountants can't do math either, apparently.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 yeah, really excited about the merch. Go get it.
We would appreciate it. Any support that you can offer would be fantastic.
The merch is great looking.

Speaker 1 And it's our first merch drop. So these will get better as we go along.
And no one else has done this before either. That is the most amazing thing.

Speaker 1 For the first.

Speaker 1 Just like Frankie's the first to the salon suite. He's the first of the salon suites.

Speaker 1 We have this promo reel we're going to shoot out where I share that we looked and no one, no other podcast has done merch yet. How they have not figured this out, I don't know, but we are the first.

Speaker 1 It was our idea. Merch drop is a thing that we're going to do.
We're going to coin that term merch drop.

Speaker 1 When you look at Wikipedia and you go, when you Google merch drop, Wikipedia is going to come up with an article and Chrissy and I space on.

Speaker 1 Founders.

Speaker 1 Founders of the merch drop.

Speaker 1 Inventors of merch drop.

Speaker 1 Yeah, everybody does it. But, you know, just part and parcel.

Speaker 1 And the thing is, is that this is the best time.

Speaker 1 ever in history to do merch drops because people now more than ever want to rock their personality right they want people to know just how mentally ill they are by putting commercial break materials on their body.

Speaker 1 Um, and yeah, you here's my thing: here, here's what I say:

Speaker 1 the university sweater, really good looking, the hoodie, awesome. The t-shirt, a great like summer, breezy spring t-shirt to wear with the cool colors on it.

Speaker 1 The hat is awesome, the trucker hat is awesome. I love that.
I can't wait to see that.

Speaker 1 But I dare you to buy the piggy fronting t-shirt and wear that to like a PTA meeting, pick up your kids from school and videotape the reaction. And here's the advice.

Speaker 1 I know, and no one said a word. I think we're so also used to seeing graphic tees that we don't really look anymore.
But wear it to an event where, and see if you get noticed.

Speaker 1 And if you do, videotape it. And here is my charge to the audience.
Once you, so what's here's, and let me give you a little insight into what happens too. The pre-order window is 8 to the 22nd.

Speaker 1 You pre-order it, then it ships like a week or two later. So you'll get it essentially like two weeks after you buy it.
Um, because you order it, then they run it. It's like run after you order it.

Speaker 1 So it's all fresh, hot right out of the oven. Yes, you know, those crispy cream signs that come on when they're making hot donuts.

Speaker 1 The crispy cream sign is on, the TCB sign is on when you're ordering it, and then they freshly make it and they send it to you.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 once you get that merch, you must put it on, you must take a picture or a video, and you must tag us in it on social media, and we will repost it on our social media.

Speaker 1 That's the deal because I want to see everybody in their TCB swag.

Speaker 1 Now, I know I'm setting myself up for disappointment here because we're going to have like one person.

Speaker 1 We know BT. We know BT will do it.
That's right. And I think Jenny will do it.
Probably Sean will do it. There's going to be a number of people who do do it.
But

Speaker 1 anyway, I'm super proud of it. And I hope you guys buy and all that other stuff.
Exciting. So, as we round out this first segment, I just want to share this

Speaker 1 real quick. 10 years ago,

Speaker 1 10 years ago in March,

Speaker 1 a fateful night at one of my best friends'

Speaker 1 dying father's last evenings on this earth at a big dinner, a serendipitous moment happened indeed when I was introduced to Astrid, my wife. And

Speaker 1 what a roller coaster for the last 10 years it has been. Up and down, thick and thin, this fucking podcast, which has nearly killed us on multiple occasions.

Speaker 1 30 plus children. I don't even know how many are out there right now.

Speaker 1 Many adventures, many misadventures.

Speaker 1 Money, no money, almost bankrupt,

Speaker 1 barely getting by.

Speaker 1 Cars breaking down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, cars, no cars.

Speaker 1 Missing children,

Speaker 1 tough labors, Disney, Disney's, many Disney adventures, adventures, and so many

Speaker 1 ups and downs later. I am proud to say that I am happily married to the best partner that I could imagine for my own self.
I second that. Yes.

Speaker 1 And I know that everyone around me agrees with that because she jerked a knot in my tail.

Speaker 1 And I think I was headed in that direction anyway, but she sped it up and probably made me better than I could have ever been on my own. And she continues to do that on a daily basis.

Speaker 1 And Astrid, happy anniversary. Nine years we have been married.

Speaker 1 Happy anniversary. Nine years we've been married already.
It's like nine and a half years we've been married.

Speaker 1 But our actual like party wedding, which is the one we celebrate, was nine years ago today.

Speaker 1 Yes. I was there.
Yeah. Partake in the festivity.
It was a hell of a hell of a party. It was a beautiful, beautiful wedding.
She did a great job. Astrid did.
I had nothing to do with it. I didn't.

Speaker 1 That's how it was beautiful. Yeah, that's why it was beautiful.
It's because I had nothing to do with it.

Speaker 1 But it was a hell of a party. And I could not have imagined in that moment how

Speaker 1 important

Speaker 1 this relationship and this woman would be to me as a human being. It's just, there's the old line.
It's cliche. It's trite, but it's one of the best lines ever written in song, history, or book.

Speaker 1 And it says, you make me want to be a better man. That's Jack Nicholson.
And is this as good as it gets? And

Speaker 1 I think anybody who's had that kind of relationship will understand that line, man or woman, will understand that line when you find the right person. So true.
And I hope it happens for you out there.

Speaker 1 It's happened for me. Yeah, but Jeff.
Listen, I was 67 years old when I met Aster.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 67. And I was 82 when I started having children.
So it's still the Charlie Chaplin. Yeah, I am the Charlie Chaplin.

Speaker 1 Charlie Chaplin had kids at 100.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm the Alec Baldwin of podcasting.

Speaker 1 An amazing woman. And

Speaker 1 without whom, none of this would be here today. Without pastor.

Speaker 1 Poking, prodding, support, and constant irritation

Speaker 1 of my talking.

Speaker 1 None of this would be here today. It just wouldn't because I

Speaker 1 loved the idea of getting on a microphone, but had no

Speaker 1 and I didn't even have any concept, clue, or inkling, no motivation to get out there and do it. It's not no motivation.
I just wasn't even thinking about it.

Speaker 1 I was happy in my little commercial real estate world. And thank God that Astrid turned me in a different direction.
And sometimes the universe just speaks to you through

Speaker 1 weird circumstances. And sometimes the universe speaks to you through other people.
And the universe is constantly speaking to me through Astrid. So I love you.

Speaker 1 Thank you for all you have done for me, for us, for everybody around you. You are a constant,

Speaker 1 you are a constant, and that is important. You are selfless and you are wonderful and you are whip smart and you are absolutely gorgeous.
And I'm sorry about all the children. She's all the things.

Speaker 1 She's all the same. I'm sorry about all the children.
She's the total package. She is the total package.
There is no doubt about it.

Speaker 1 And I couldn't be happier that you also met Astrid and moved forward

Speaker 1 in your intuition. Yes.
To move forward.

Speaker 1 I got to be honest. I have to talk about ups and downs of relationships.
You and I, being friends for 20 years, have

Speaker 1 seen it with both of us. We've seen it with both of us.
And it was

Speaker 1 many rocky roads. And a lot of this same stuff could be said about Jeff also.
And you'll get your time when it's your anniversary.

Speaker 1 Listen, a lot of this stuff could be said about Jeff and your relationship past too, but I had a really rocky five years there with one person in particular, but a couple different people also.

Speaker 1 And I just never felt

Speaker 1 when Astrid and I met, it was as if a hook, as if I was a fish and a hook had been caught in my mouth and I was being pulled toward the shore

Speaker 1 and nothing was stopped. Like, I never looked back.
Almost from the first moment, I never looked back. I never had an intuition to look back.
I never even thought about looking back.

Speaker 1 And that, I think, is what like true love is. When you meet your soulmate, when you meet your partner, there is no doubt almost from the beginning, there is no doubt, and nothing stops it.

Speaker 1 Not plane flights, not thousands of miles or tens of thousands of miles. You find a way to get it done, not distance, not heartache, not pain, not brokenness.
I mean, you figure it out.

Speaker 1 You just figure it out. You don't have to be,

Speaker 1 I don't have to be rich to be my girl.

Speaker 1 It all just kind of comes, came together. It did.
And there's no other way to say it except it was serendipitous.

Speaker 1 And that is a word that we used many times at the beginning of our relationship: that this was serendipitous, that was serendipity, and it certainly has proven to have been. So please stick with me.

Speaker 1 I'll be dead in a few years, and you'll be able to move on with your life and find that pool boy you've been so desperately looking for.

Speaker 1 And that convertible. Beep beep.
Yeah, once I'm gone,

Speaker 1 the drain on resources will be out of here. No more studio equipment.
You can just live off the teat of the commercial break and your own

Speaker 1 and your own abilities. So I love you.

Speaker 1 Hopefully, I'll have said half of what I said to you in person.

Speaker 1 But I thank you very much. I love you very much, Astrid.
We are going to take a break. And when we come back, we've got more shenanigans.
I got to give you an update on Blue. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 There's so much. We got to talk about the staph infection that's been running around my house for three weeks.
That's crazy. I mean,

Speaker 1 I never imagined when I have children that I'd be paying the doctor's office electric bill month after month after month. But man, has it happened? I swear to God.
All right.

Speaker 1 So listen to this liner where we irritate you more about merch. Is it pork chop day? Well, no, it's not.
You're going to hear pork chop day, but actually what they're going to hear is a merch liner.

Speaker 1 So listen more about the merch. Take a pen, write it down, stamp it to your forehead, get it tattooed on your ass.
Buy our merch on Friday. Shop tcbpodcast.com.

Speaker 2 drop in and let you know about two very special events you should think about maybe possibly putting on your calendar.

Speaker 2 Friday, August 8th, Chrissy and I will be watching Rally LA Live while we stream and break it all down.

Speaker 2 Rally LA Live is a drug lord movie starring Eric Roberts and our favorite preacher, the venerable Pastor Kenneth Copeland. I don't even know if what we are doing is legal, but I know it'll be fun.

Speaker 2 Stay tuned to our Instagram page for more details. Then on that same Friday, August the 8th through the 22nd of August, we'll be dropping our very first merch line.

Speaker 2 That pre-order window only stays open for two weeks, so you'll need to go to shoptcbpodcast.com. That's shoptcbpodcast.com to pre-order some very good-looking merch.
We're super excited about it.

Speaker 2 It's limited time. It's exclusive.
Once it's gone, it's gone.

Speaker 2 And like a late-night infomercial, if you pre-order merch in that two-week window, we're going to give you an exclusive TCB sticker with every single purchase.

Speaker 2 So follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break. Pay attention to the website tcbpodcast.com.

Speaker 2 Text us if you want a more personal touch 212-433-3TCB and subscribe at youtube.com slash thecommercial break so that when we start streaming, you get notified.

Speaker 2 And last but not least, make sure to grab your merch August 8th through the 22nd.

Speaker 1 ShopTCBpodcast.com. Let's pay some bills and we'll be back to this episode of the Commercial Break.

Speaker 2 This episode is sponsored in part by Rula. You know, there was a time when I really needed therapy, but I could not find a therapist who took my insurance.

Speaker 2 I can remember feeling so stuck like I had to choose between getting help and staying on budget. That's why I think what Rula is doing is so very important.

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Speaker 2 They also take the time to find the right therapist for you, someone who understands your goals, your preferences, and your background. There's no waiting weeks or months for an appointment.

Speaker 2 You can start as soon as tomorrow, and Rula stays with you along the way, checking in, supporting your progress, and helping you feel seen and cared for.

Speaker 2 Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com/slash commercial to get started.

Speaker 2 And after you sign up, you'll be asked asked how you heard about them. Please support the commercial break and let them know we sent you.
That's rula.com slash commercial.

Speaker 2 You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget.

Speaker 10 This is Free Range with Von Miller, the podcast where I step outside the lines and I take you with me.

Speaker 10 Each week, we're talking everything from the biggest stories around the league to the biggest stories off the field. This isn't your average sports podcast.

Speaker 10 This is game meets culture, locker room meets living room, and no topic is off limits.

Speaker 10 So if you're into good conversations that ruffle a few feathers, join me every Wednesday and follow Free Range with Von Miller everywhere you get your podcast.

Speaker 2 This episode is sponsored by our longtime sponsor, Squarespace. I am working on a new project, Information TBD.
It's very secretive.

Speaker 2 It's very hush-hush around here because, you know, podcast secrets are a thing.

Speaker 2 Anywho, there is only one all-in-one website tool that's designed to help my my new project stand out and be successful, and that one tool is Squarespace.

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Speaker 2 This is a company we trust. It's a product we use, and there's one overarching reason why.
It makes my life easier. Go build yourself a beautiful website, squarespace.com slash commercial.

Speaker 2 And thank you to Squarespace for being a sponsor of the commercial break.

Speaker 1 Okay, first, let's give you an update on Blue because many people texted. Thank you so much to everyone out there

Speaker 1 who texted Marianne and Jenny and Sean and all the all the regulars who texted and

Speaker 1 said, you know, much love to you and thinking about blue.

Speaker 1 You can't hear her right now, but I'm sure you hear her before the end of the episode. Blue had, we don't know what happened really.
It's called

Speaker 1 autohemorrhagic diarrhea syndrome, A-H-D-S.

Speaker 1 And apparently it happens in some breeds of dog. And what happens is, what happened was, what happened was

Speaker 1 we went out of town. We went to Naples.
We told you that. And then we put the dog somewhere because I'm not taking the dog down to Naples.
I need a break from Blue, too. Everyone needs a break.

Speaker 1 We all need a vacation.

Speaker 1 And I take her to one of the, I know, I take her to one of those huge boarding facilities where they have a play and a pool and a spa and a jacuzzi for the dogs and they have TVs in the corner.

Speaker 1 You know, all that whole fucking shit that you don't need for a dog, that you think you need for a dog. And I take her there.
And they usually, nine times out of ten, take really good care of her.

Speaker 1 And it's clean.

Speaker 1 And that's all I care about they just want her warm and she is such a fucking brat and she thinks she's a human being so she does not play with the other dogs she sits on the lap of the people who work there and they tell me this they're like oh she spent the day in the office with us and i'm like well why wasn't she out playing with the other dogs well she won't go out and play with the other dogs because she's a bitch and she won't do that oh my god that's classic she literally thinks she's a human being and apparently this is also a syndrome that happens with some breeds of dogs.

Speaker 1 They think they're human and they don't know how to interact with their dogs. She's just, I don't know.
She's like an autistic dog. She doesn't interact with other autistic dogs.

Speaker 1 I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 1 So we take her there and I pick her up. When I pick her up, I notice that she's got diarrhea, right? Watery stool.
And how do I notice that? Because she doesn't go outside to shit.

Speaker 1 She's a human being. She's going to use it.
She's going to go shit inside the house. Only she can't sit on the toilet.
So she does that on wherever she wants to. That's also the small breed syndrome.

Speaker 1 Well, at 10 years old or 11 years old, however old she is, this is not unusual that when there's changes in diet and location, that sometimes their tummies get upset.

Speaker 1 She's also, in case anybody hasn't noticed, the world's most anxious thing,

Speaker 1 thing.

Speaker 1 She needs psychiatric help. When she tried.
I tried.

Speaker 1 They couldn't help. Thousands of dollars.

Speaker 1 Even they couldn't help.

Speaker 1 She's very anxious. So I just take this as part and parcel of what happens if she stays somewhere else for a long period of time.
She gets nervous. They tell us she doesn't eat as much food.

Speaker 1 You know, she wants to be around the humans. Okay, I get it.
She's scared. She's lonely.
I'm sorry. But that's also part of the deal you make with the dogs sometimes.

Speaker 1 It's like, you know, I'm going to have to put you at a boarding facility every once in a blue moon because I can't live my entire life at this house, never leaving because I can't take a dog with me.

Speaker 1 Anyway, whatever.

Speaker 1 Two nights later, after we got back. So she seemed to be fine and seemed to be okay.
But two nights later, I'm standing in the kitchen and my daughter says, Dad, Blue's food is in the hallway.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, Blue's food is in the hallway. What are you talking about? I thought one of my daughters had taken Blue's food, as she often does, and starts throwing it around the house.

Speaker 1 She throws it at the dog. They're best friends.
They're like,

Speaker 1 how do I explain this?

Speaker 1 Who are like two really mischievous characters in life? Oh, there she is right now. Who's two really mischievous characters? They're Thelma and Louise.
Thelma and Luis.

Speaker 1 They're the Thelma and Louise of dogs and humans. They run after each other.
They cause trouble. They make messes.
And they are like thick as thieves, these two. They are.
And my youngest daughter.

Speaker 1 So I just thought that was what it was. When I turn the corner, what it is, is puke with full dog food in it, full kibble in it.
So she has not digested any of the food. Okay, weird, but whatever.

Speaker 1 You have a dog. You've seen it all.
Sure.

Speaker 1 And I have a million things going on, so I don't really pay attention to it. I look at Blue.
She looks okay. She's walking, running around, barking as usual.

Speaker 1 As the night starts to crest, as we all start to get to bed and go to sleep,

Speaker 1 I go take a shower. When I come out of the shower, I can smell shit.
And I'm like, where? Oh, God, blue. God damn it, blue.

Speaker 1 There are three words that Brian uses more than any other words. And it's not best to you.
It's goddamn it blue.

Speaker 1 I eat blue. God damn it, blue.
Astard actually asked me to cut it out because the kids, she's

Speaker 1 the kids are starting to, they don't say god damn it, but they're like, God blue, god blue.

Speaker 1 I get it. All right.
So I'm running around the house trying to figure out where my nose smells this shit. I open one of the bathroom doors and on the floor is vomit and watery shit.

Speaker 1 But it is not normal. It is full of blood.
Oof.

Speaker 1 Normal, like watery blood, like blood blood, clumpy blood, like almost like blood clots. It's, I know.
I'm sorry I'm being so descriptive. I hope you're not eating.
And that's, that's all I'll say.

Speaker 1 And that went on for the next two hours. So now it's like midnight, 12.30.

Speaker 1 And finally, we get her to calm down a little bit. We take the water up.
We take the food up. No more, no more.
She can't possibly have anything else in her body.

Speaker 1 Hopefully this, something irritated her stomach, she'll go to sleep. She's laying down.

Speaker 1 And then Astrid. texts me.
I'm in the studio. Astrid texts me about 30 minutes later and she's like, more blood.
And I'm like, Oh no,

Speaker 1 and now it's all over the hallway, it's everywhere. And I'm like, Oh shit.

Speaker 1 So I call the vet, I grab blue, we clean her up, I grab her, we throw, I throw her in the car, call the vet on the way there, and the vet's like, Yeah, you need to bring her in.

Speaker 1 And so we brought her in, and that's this is what they diagnose her with: this auto-hemorrhagic diarrhea syndrome. Here's a weird thing that you can share more about, Chrissy.

Speaker 1 I go to a vet that's near a very famous or a very well-known open-air mall, I would guess, a live-work play community here called Avalon.

Speaker 1 It's, you know, close-ish to my house. It's the only 24-hour vet that's close, that's like within 15, 20 minutes of my house.
I go, it's in a strip mall. It's new-ish.

Speaker 1 And when you walk in the door, there's a waiting area like every other doctor's office, but then there's two huge doors that swing open, like almost like warehouse doors that swing open.

Speaker 1 They're wide open. I have to press a buzzer to get in the actual front door.
I press a buzzer, nurse comes and meets me, opens the door, takes me through the two doors that are open.

Speaker 1 And now I am in a huge room. I would say like the size of half a soccer, half a soccer field.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And there are couches on the outside.

Speaker 1 There are a few rooms on the outside of this square room, but then there are like operating tables, desks where doctors are sitting, and all along the wall are crates, incubators,

Speaker 1 all kinds of medical machinery, x-ray machines, MRI machines, what I imagine are MRI machines. And so now they're like, okay, bring the dog back here.

Speaker 1 And now we're on a table, like an examination table in the middle of this huge room. It's not in an actual like room.
Not your own room. Not my own room.
Yeah, it's a large room. It's a huge room.

Speaker 1 It's like a shared conference space. And my dog is getting a thermometer up her ass.
in this room.

Speaker 1 It is, all I can see in the crates is one small puppy who's like standing up, you know, interested in what's going on. And there's nobody, there's no other patients that are in there except for me.

Speaker 1 But there's some nurses, a couple of doctors, looks like a tech or two.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, this is weird. Like, did you just bring me back here because I'm the only one? Yeah.
Or shouldn't I be up front waiting? So they go through the examination.

Speaker 1 Doctor comes and takes a look at her, says, I suspect it's this, this AHDS.

Speaker 1 But we got to do a few tests. We need some x-rays.

Speaker 1 I want to make sure she doesn't have anything stuck in her stomach, lodged in her throat, trying to come out of her butt, whatever, because that is common too.

Speaker 1 And I said, oh, okay. And she goes, so why don't we just give me a few minutes? I'm going to write all this up.

Speaker 1 We're going to give her some fluids or give her something, and then we're going to take her back to the x-ray machine. And I'm like, okay.
So I imagine I'm going to go up front and wait. Sure.

Speaker 1 And the lady puts down like a fresh like towel or something down on one of these couches. And she's like, you can wait right here.
And I'm like, in this

Speaker 1 operating room? What happens if, like, God forbid, like a tragically crazy case comes in the door? I do not want to see mangled animals. Like, I just don't, I can't handle that.
That's the thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't want to see that. I didn't say that to them, but I was thinking it.
So I'm like praying to myself, please don't let this happen. Plus, the blue is a bitch.
Like, she sees another animal.

Speaker 1 She's going after it.

Speaker 1 And now I just got to hold blue in the middle of this operating room while you guys write something up and we're all going to watch as.

Speaker 1 weird things happen. Please don't let any bad cases come in the door.
No dogs hit by cars, none of that shit.

Speaker 1 And I sat there. Luckily, it did not.
But what was weird is there was an incubator off to the right, like this big tube-like thing.

Speaker 1 And I'm just sitting there, like watching my phone, trying not to, I'm listening to the conversations that are happening. You can hear everything they're saying and they're talking about.

Speaker 1 It's really strange, but okay, whatever. I'm watching the phone.
I'm keeping blue, you know, calm down. And this nurse comes over.

Speaker 1 And she opens up the incubator and she takes out a cat, a cat that is no bigger than the size of my hand. Oh, a tiny, tiny kitten.
Oh, I had a little one like that one time. I know.

Speaker 1 And she is feeding it with a medicine dropper. Yeah.
And then she takes a warm towel and she's rubbing its private parts. And she's like, come on, pee for me.
You got to pee for me. Let's go.

Speaker 1 Pee, pee. And the cat is like,

Speaker 1 every time she rubs it, the cat is like,

Speaker 1 and I'm like, Jesus,

Speaker 1 you have to coax it to pee? Are you talking to it? Maybe it's shy.

Speaker 1 Why do you need it to pee? It doesn't pee on its own. I'm really curious about this.
I'm like, why is she rubbing it and then asking it to pee?

Speaker 1 So anyway, so Blue goes through all of this stuff. Only one other animal came in during this entire time, and they actually took that animal back to a private room because I think it was a bad case.

Speaker 1 Okay. And so they took it to one of the rooms on the side.
Okay. So we get all wrapped up.
They give her a bunch of like 58 different medications. Nothing stuck in her.
Just give her this stuff. Okay.

Speaker 1 So as I'm leaving, I ask this nurse who was talking, like doing the thing with the cat, I go, hey, I heard you asking the cat to pee. Do you, are you trying to like coax it to urinate?

Speaker 1 And she's like, I'm mimicking its mother, licking its private parts. It's a way that they induce it to urinate so that they don't get stopped up.

Speaker 1 Like, especially kittens that are prematurely born, which this one is, it's one of the natural ways that mother would get it. And I was like, that's fascinating.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And give it, you know, hey, lick your Vajj, get it to pee.

Speaker 1 Nature is amazing.

Speaker 1 it's amazing nature is amazing nature even has a situation it even has a solution to pre uh you know to uh premature birth that's amazing it's amazing to me okay and the only reason when you tell me all this i you know i the only reason i even knew about the same uh emergency vet hospital is because i had been listening to another podcast uh with heather mcmahon's and she lives in the area and she had a similar situation she had to go to this vet and she's talking about how you're all of a sudden invested in the other ones that are coming in.

Speaker 1 Is Brownie gonna make it?

Speaker 1 Please let Brownie make it. Like, I think there was a turtle, a poor turtle that came in, and all kinds of different things.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, I had heard of this not a week before you were telling me about this. Yes.
It's a crazy situation. Heather McMahon was at this same hospital.

Speaker 1 Because, listen, I've been to a lot of animal hospitals. I've never seen anyone like this.
Never. It's unique to this

Speaker 1 company. And apparently, they have a number of these these throughout the country, but only one here in the city of Atlanta.
So, and I know for a fact that Heather also lives close to this place. Why?

Speaker 1 Because I've seen her before driving her car around. I saw her one time at a

Speaker 1 Target or a Whole Foods or something. I saw her walking around.

Speaker 1 But this is very unique. I'm not sure I like it, but I agree with you.
I'm invested. I was invested in the little

Speaker 1 kitten. I was invested in the cat that came in.
I was invested in the puppy. I learned later that the puppy was the doctor's puppy just hanging out for the night.

Speaker 1 So I thought that poor little puppy had something wrong with it. But then they took it out and started petting it and playing with it.
And they were talking, she was talking about it.

Speaker 1 It was her own dog. And I was like, okay, there was a parakeet somewhere in the back

Speaker 1 that had a broken foot, and they were taking care of the parakeet. It was amazing.
They did all the blood work right in front of me. They were like spinning it up and looking at the x-rays.

Speaker 1 And it was all amazing. But I wouldn't want to be there for any extended period of time seeing really bad situations.
That for me is like a nightmare.

Speaker 1 My kids are getting to the age now where they look at those

Speaker 1 commercials of the dogs, you know, the fucking commercial that everyone hates. Sarah McLaughlin

Speaker 1 Angel. Sarah McLaughlin.
Dubs right now are dead because of you. Don't know.
It's so awful. I got to a point I had to turn it.
I turn it. Yeah.
But the kids.

Speaker 1 But they play them on like Disney and Nick now.

Speaker 1 They're three and a half minute commercials.

Speaker 1 They're so long. Why can't they just be 30 seconds? I donate to the ASPCA.
I'm okay with that.

Speaker 1 But don't make it three, don't make me suffer for three minutes. Well, now my kids are asking, why doesn't that dog have food? Yeah.
Why does that cat look sick?

Speaker 1 And then the Scottish Right ones or the St. Jude ones, forget about it.

Speaker 1 They're all asking all the questions now that I just don't have answers to, except for the world is not sometimes the prettiest place.

Speaker 1 I mean, the you know, bad things or things that are tough to happen, right? Um, but fuck that, Sarah Gawkins so much. Can we change it?

Speaker 1 Everyone's made fun of it at this point. That we know now.
It's been going on for God. What I would think like 20

Speaker 1 forever. Okay, so speaking of children,

Speaker 1 we're at

Speaker 1 right before we go to Naples, about a week and a half before we go to Naples.

Speaker 1 One of my daughters gets a spot like on her belly, and we think it is a bug bite. So we're like, you know, treat it with a little of that topical bug bite so it doesn't itch so much.
She's itching it.

Speaker 1 And that spot quickly spreads into a whole body

Speaker 1 infection. Like, spots.
I was going to say, like, chicken pox.

Speaker 1 Well, that's what we thought day two. But by day three, we had identified that it was not.

Speaker 1 It was a skin staph infection that is highly contagious that children get and they pass it around like wildfires. Like it's strepococcus, essentially, is what it is, but it's of the skin.

Speaker 1 That strepococcus makes you sick in seven different ways. You can have strep of the ass.
You can have strep of the penis. It's really weird.
Why is strep all over our bodies? I know. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 Strep throat. Oh, it's so painful.
So painful. Almost killed me.
Almost killed me, actually. And that right when Astrid and I met, right when we had met, how I knew Astrid was the one for me.

Speaker 1 She took care of me for five days while I had a case of scarlet fever, but I didn't know it. I had strep that turned into scarlet fever and I had no idea that it was happening.

Speaker 1 And she took care of me. Not only did she take care of me, she wouldn't let me go home.

Speaker 1 I was in North Carolina at her aunt's house and she happened to be in town one of the first times she was in town. And she took care of me for five straight days.
And I was sick as I have ever been.

Speaker 1 Scarlet fever. Scarlet fever.
What's that? With strep, stretch.

Speaker 1 What's that?

Speaker 1 It's when you get a red rash on your penis.

Speaker 1 We called it the fever of scarlet because it seems anybody who was with a scarlet had the fever of the penis.

Speaker 1 Don't get a penis fever.

Speaker 1 Your penis gets all hot and red.

Speaker 1 It turns a hue of scarlet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was strep. It wasn't getting better.
I was running a really high fever. But, you know, me being a man, I was like, oh, this is a cold.
I'll get over it.

Speaker 1 But I started to get like really, I couldn't swallow. So I knew it was strep.

Speaker 1 But, you know, I'm just a dumb, dumb boy. And I was like, I'll get over it.

Speaker 1 And smoking cigarettes. Right.
Yeah. And smoking cigarettes.

Speaker 1 But actually, by day number three, I couldn't smoke a cigarette because it was hurt. It hurt so bad.
So, you know, this went on for three, five days.

Speaker 1 Then Astrid, I had to go because I had to come back to Atlanta and Astrid had to go back to, at the time, Switzerland or Venezuela.

Speaker 1 And so I drove from North Carolina back to Atlanta and I was swigging hydrogen peroxide

Speaker 1 all the way. I told you about that.
It was the only thing that would, hydrogen peroxide. It was the only thing that would give me relief.

Speaker 1 So I was swigging it, gargling it, spitting it out the window every five miles. And it was, I just couldn't get it to calm down.

Speaker 1 Came home, got there in the evening, went to sleep, woke up, had a fever of like 103.6. And I called my mom and I was, I couldn't talk either.
And I was like, oh.

Speaker 1 And she was like, hospital now, call the ambulance if you need to. Go to the hospital.
I went to the hospital and they were.

Speaker 1 I've never been seen so fast in my life, actually.

Speaker 1 One nurse. He's got the scarlet fever.
He's got the penis fever.

Speaker 1 He's got the penis fever.

Speaker 1 Venus fever, penis fever. Rem seven, penis fever.
Brian, green, penis fever.

Speaker 1 Penis fever. Yeah, penis fever.
Penis fever on Isle 9. Penis fever cleanup.

Speaker 1 Is scarlet different than yellow? Isn't there like a yellow fever? There is yellow fever. That's the denaean.
The denae fever. Yeah, that's the dung fever.

Speaker 1 You don't want the

Speaker 1 dung fever. You don't want that.
Is that from like the Amazon, like

Speaker 1 In Africa or something. Yeah, that's one of the 75,000 different things that can kill you in the Amazon or Africa.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I went back and then they found that I had an abscess in my throat and they had to do surgery on my throat while my mouth was open because they couldn't stick a breathing tube down me to do surgery.

Speaker 1 So it was,

Speaker 1 I'll never forget it. But anyway, I recovered quickly after they gave me like, you know, 75,000 milligrams of morphine.

Speaker 1 I finally got got a little bit of relief and spent some time in the hospital and then i recovered anyway your body was like drugs i know

Speaker 1 oh god dude i tell you what i've never been so happy to get morphine in my body and i've been happy to get morphine in my body a lot but that was like i actually needed it and it relieved this incredible pain that i was feeling um and once he cut the abscess within hours I was already feeling like a new person.

Speaker 1 Anyway, so my kids get this thing and it starts going like it goes moves from one child to the next child to the third child.

Speaker 1 And that's what caused me to go down to the urgent care a couple of different times while we were in Naples is because these kids, we just couldn't keep it under control.

Speaker 1 They gave us this medicine, this topical medicine. We kept putting it on all these spots and they kept on popping up and they would pop up in like hours.

Speaker 1 It'd be like one, the next, the next, the next. It came on so quickly.
And I was like, but everywhere I read and the doctors, they all said, don't worry, it's just the children that get this.

Speaker 1 Typically, adults never get this, right? Blah, blah, blah. I am the one who has been designated because it doesn't make sense for all of us to be touching open wounds.

Speaker 1 I have gloves on, by the way, but I'm putting all the creams on the wounds and doing all this stuff. And one of my kids got it like super duper bad.
Private parts, face, back, everything.

Speaker 1 I'm putting it all over. Guys, wow.
Putting it all over, putting it all over. This has been going on now for four weeks around the house, right? And we think we got it licked with the last kid.

Speaker 1 I wake up today. I got it.

Speaker 1 I got it. It's unbelievable.
I have it on my arms and I'm like, fuck, but I'm not waiting that one day. I'm going to the fucking doctor tomorrow morning.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because now I got it. And I'm sure.
It's because I'm a broken human being and my body doesn't work, right? The adults don't get it, but I got it.

Speaker 1 But I'm also sure it's because I've been touching it for weeks on end. Probably the strep finally said, hey, what about that guy?

Speaker 1 Let's move to that. I think we we can move to that guy.
Yeah. What about that? He's had strep before.
Let's get over there. Scarlet fever, round two.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 This has been, when you have kids, no one tells you how much time you're going to be spending at the doctor. It's a fuckload of time.

Speaker 1 It really is. It's too much to handle.
I swear to God. We've been keeping the lights on at that pediatrician for years and probably for years to come.
And I don't know what it is.

Speaker 1 It's maybe because of the amount of children I have or because you,

Speaker 1 every parent has this, knows this. My Starbucks boyfriend the other day, I had to leave a little bit early because I had to take one of the kids to the doc

Speaker 1 or somewhere related to medical something. And I said, I got to go, you know, he said, I've never met someone that goes to the doctor as much.
Never.

Speaker 1 And I said, how many kids did you have? One. And I said, that's why.
Yeah, one. You had one.
I have 12. I have 12 and they're all sick at the same time with different things.

Speaker 1 So you have to go to multiple different doctors for the same, you know, in the same pile of people. It's unbelievable.
Anyway, blue is fine. The kids will survive.
I'm next.

Speaker 1 So I'm sure I'll, you know, there'll be a best of running later this week because I have scarlet fever again. There's something.

Speaker 1 Some shit's going to happen.

Speaker 1 All right, let's listen to us cook some more merch and then we'll be back.

Speaker 1 We'll be back after this.

Speaker 4 Hey there, cats and kittens. It's Rachel.
I have a terrible cold, but Brian wanted me to pass along the message that TCB's exclusive merch drop happens Friday, August 8th through the 22nd.

Speaker 4 You can pre-order your limited edition commercial break, hat, hoodie, university sweater, or t-shirts and get an exclusive TCB sticker free with every purchase.

Speaker 4 Go to shoptcbpodcast.com Friday, August 8th through the 22nd to pre-order your merch because when the window closes, it closes for good.

Speaker 4 So mark it on your calendars Friday, August 8th through the 22nd, ShopTCBPodcast.com. Now I'm going to go take some dayquil and feed Axel more pork chops.
Best to you.

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Speaker 1 Okay, all right.

Speaker 1 I was listening to Prof G. Do you know what Prof G is? Yeah, Prof G.
Professor Galloway. And I'm referencing him a lot.
What's like roomy or what who's the

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 1 the philosopher

Speaker 1 rom dash he's there's a very popular reel going around where i referenced rom dah

Speaker 1 some people have corrected me i'm like i didn't do it verbatim i said it kind of people get so upset They're like, there's not exactly what he said.

Speaker 1 And then they quote it, and I'm like, it's the exact same thing. It's the essence.
Yes. Do you think I have the book sitting right next to me?

Speaker 1 Do you think we have references on the commercial break? I citations. That's exactly right.
No. Do I have to put a bibliography together for my fucking book report? Dumb butts.

Speaker 1 Swear to God, people are crazy. By the way, the Instagram is doing lovely lately, so thank you very much.
Everyone, just jump on there and we're going to do more stuff.

Speaker 1 Yes, we are. We're aware of it now.
Yeah, we're aware of. We don't need to do such shows.

Speaker 1 We're aware that we actually have to do stuff besides the actual show in order to make it live and breathe.

Speaker 1 So two things on that line. Number one, on Friday, we're going to be doing Rally LA Live streaming.

Speaker 1 Follow our Instagram for the exact timing of that. We're figuring that all out right now.

Speaker 1 But if you want to jump on the streaming, but really, we're also then going to rebroadcast those episodes over the weekend.

Speaker 1 So we're going to watch the Rally LA Live in its entirety on Chrissy's 1992 DVD player attached to the TV. How we're going to do that, I don't know.
I got to go buy more wires, probably.

Speaker 1 Probably. I could bring up my bag of cords.
If you got a bag of cords, I got a big bag of cords. Okay, bring them up tomorrow and we'll figure that out.

Speaker 1 And then we'll be rebroadcasting those episodes Saturday, Sunday, and maybe Monday, depending on how long it goes. So stay tuned to Rally LA Live.
Chrissy and I break it all down. Rally.

Speaker 1 Let's let's tell people exactly what Rally LA Live is because it kind of sounds like we're going to be in LA.

Speaker 1 We're not going to be anywhere with a truck. This is not a radio

Speaker 1 or whatever you call it, a radio promo.

Speaker 1 We

Speaker 1 a remote. That's right.

Speaker 1 Radio remote.

Speaker 1 No, that's my next brilliant idea. Stay tuned to a remote from a boat.
A remote on a boat. That's what we should call it.
DCB's remote on a boat. A remote on a boat.
I like it.

Speaker 1 Remember that, Brian. Remote on a boat.
Remote on a boat.

Speaker 1 No post. No, don't do that because then it'll never happen.

Speaker 1 So, Rally LA is part two of a series of movies that were written, partially written, directed by a guy named Rick Reyna, and stars Kenny Copeland, the preacher who blew away the coronavirus.

Speaker 1 You know, the Shamalama Ding-Dong guy, our very first episode. That's right.
At least the one you can hear, the very first episode.

Speaker 1 And he stars in this movie about a drug, like a cartel.

Speaker 1 kingpin

Speaker 1 who uses the word of the Lord to slay his enemies on the streets. You can only imagine how ridiculous this is.
It is ridiculous.

Speaker 1 And the fact that Kenny Copeland even agreed to be within 10 feet of this movie says everything you need to know about Kenny Copeland. He doesn't want to be a preacher.
He wants to be a movie star.

Speaker 1 He's an actor. He acts up on the pulpit and in movies and on television shows that we have found that are equally as ridiculous.

Speaker 1 Like the reformed bank robber that goes around the Wild West and teaches children about the Bible through jail cell doors. I don't know.
It's all fucking stupid.

Speaker 1 So we are going to watch this movie. And I haven't watched much of it, but I will tell you, because I wanted like a fresh perspective, but I will tell you right now, this is comedy gold.

Speaker 1 It's so poorly acted, so poorly written, so poorly directed that there's nothing else that I can say, except you must. listen or watch this movie with us in its entirety.

Speaker 1 We'll try and put it on YouTube, but of course, you know, I'll probably get copyrighted.

Speaker 1 But it's so ridiculous and so far-flung that no streaming service will put it on there. We had to buy a DVD.
Yeah, we had to buy a used DVD. They don't even make them new anymore.

Speaker 1 They just put it out in like 2023. It's not like it was 50 years ago they had this.
It's like I'm trying to find a Disney classic that's been in the vault or something like that.

Speaker 1 This is a fucking brand new movie that they can't even get a streaming services.

Speaker 1 will literally they would stream if we gave hulu the commercial break maybe not hulu if we gave pluto the commercial break and said we could sell advertising into it, they would give us a channel on Pluto, Pluto.

Speaker 1 That's how desperate they are for content. Not desperate.
That's just the name of the game. That's what they do.

Speaker 1 Kenny Copeland, venerable preacher, and Eric Roberts, that guy who acts.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to call him an actor, but the guy who acts. They can't even find someone to take this movie and put it on an OTT, a streaming platform like Pluto or Freevy or whatever.
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 So we're going to watch it because I bought it. I spent $22 on it.
Please help me pay it back by watching it with us. And I dusted off the DVD player.
Literally, dusted off. Yes.

Speaker 1 She brought a DVD player from 2006 so that we can watch this.

Speaker 1 Anyway, that's going to be Friday. We're really excited.
Same day as the merch drop. Coincidence? Probably not.
So there you go. Think about that one.
All right. Okay.
Prof. G.

Speaker 1 He.

Speaker 1 I listened to Prof. G.
I love Prof. G.
I think he's great. If you don't know Professor Galloway, you should listen to him.

Speaker 1 He is probably the most pragmatic man I have ever listened to in my entire life. You love pragmatism.
I do. It's my religion.

Speaker 1 I'm a pragmatic pragmatist. I'm a father, a son, a brother, a pragmatic pragmatist.

Speaker 1 I've been a fry cook.

Speaker 1 That was the original intro for the commercial break. Commercial break.
V1. Yes.
V1.

Speaker 1 Prof. G was talking about podcasting, and the question was, do you make 20? Someone had had reported that he made 20 plus million dollars a year on his podcast.
Wow.

Speaker 1 He's got three of them, and they all broadcast on the same RSS feed.

Speaker 1 And so he went on, and as he always does, very honestly and earnestly, broke it all down on how he, in fact, makes more than $20 million a year on just his one RSS feed. And I was like, holy

Speaker 1 shit. Yeah.
But when you have 20 million people that listen to you, it's

Speaker 1 like, I think it it ups the game. It ups the game.
Yeah. When people actually tune into your podcast, there's an opportunity to make money.

Speaker 1 But he was just sharing what, how this world has exploded and how it's its own ecosystem now.

Speaker 1 But he also shared that only the top, you know, three or four percent of podcasters actually make a living doing this. But those top three or four percent, they can do very well for themselves.

Speaker 1 I'd like to share with Prof. G, if I might retort for one second, as a guy who's worked in the podcast business and as a podcaster, that there is this fifth percent that we sit in, which is we're

Speaker 1 almost

Speaker 1 from loan sharks, credit cards, and credit card debt.

Speaker 1 We have some listeners who pay attention to us.

Speaker 1 And we don't have three podcasts, but we broadcast four days a week. So it's kind of like having three podcasts.
And no episode is the same from episode to episode. No.
I think you can give us that.

Speaker 1 At least we're bringing out fresh material. It may all be boring to everybody, but at least it's fresh.

Speaker 1 But I will say that there is this middle ground there, not the 3%. And I don't even think it's 3% prof.
I think it's 1%. And I'm calling you prof.
I know it's prof, but whatever. Who cares? Whatever.

Speaker 1 We're friends, Galloway, right? You and me? We're friends. Scott, come on, buddy.
You and me. I thought we were friends.
Why not? What happened?

Speaker 1 There's 1%

Speaker 1 that make the kind of money that you're making. And I am very happy to hear it because I think you deserve it.

Speaker 1 You really have a fresh voice out there in a sea of shitty copycats.

Speaker 1 Then there's this 2% or 3%

Speaker 1 who are middle ground. They probably have more traffic than we do.
They probably make, but they most definitely make more money than we do.

Speaker 1 But they have this, they have ecosystems that live and breathe and they make a fairly decent living doing this.

Speaker 1 And then there is that 4% or 5%, which is the commercial break, where we make money doing it, but it all goes to

Speaker 1 debt service.

Speaker 1 I guess I'll say this. I just wanted to give like a little further clarity to anyone that might have heard that and thinks for some reason that we might be making $20 million.

Speaker 1 I don't think anybody who listens to the show thinks we make $20 million.

Speaker 1 You should know we do not.

Speaker 1 But that kind of money can be made. And now there's all these podcasters out there that are fabulously wealthy.
A lot of them clickbait chasing. They're rage baiting, essentially.

Speaker 1 And this brings up an interesting conversation that I will touch on. And I don't give a shit if you want to hear me talk about it or not.

Speaker 1 If you don't like when I talk about like kind of like just touch on the word politics or anything having to do with politics, turn it off now and tune back in tomorrow. There's this whole

Speaker 1 ecosystem of podcasters who cucked to politics during the last election cycle.

Speaker 1 They absolutely sucked the living dick out of one particular party because that's where the money was and that's where they went.

Speaker 1 And if you think it's for any other reason, there might be a few that are ideologically aligned, like the actual ideology, like the Charlie Kirks of the world and those people.

Speaker 1 But then there are podcasters just like Chrissy and I who jumped on the bandwagon because they saw that's where the audience was.

Speaker 1 They saw that's where the rage was, and they saw that's where the clicks were, and they saw that's where the money was. And then they went there.

Speaker 1 And now they regret it and they are changing their mind left and right. They've drawn a line in the sand.
Everybody's turning back.

Speaker 1 There's part of me that doesn't care how you got there. At least you're there.
And then there's part of me that says you were part of the problem.

Speaker 1 You're part of the reason why we are where we are right now in a fucking land of Gustapo tactics and craziness. And then part of me believes that it doesn't really matter at this point.

Speaker 1 At least we've changed our minds now.

Speaker 1 And I encourage those podcasters, any of them that happen to listen to the show or get word of it, I encourage you to continue to use your voice to speak out against what you see is clearly bullshit.

Speaker 1 This is crazy. We have people

Speaker 1 who are put donning masks and throwing people away. They're disappearing them like the Irish Troubles.
They can't be found. They don't know where they are.
They won't tell you.

Speaker 1 They don't say their names. They don't belong to a particular organization.
They're just showing up, rolling up, and throwing people into vans. And then see you later.
Hope things work out.

Speaker 1 There's a whole private prison system that's making money off of this.

Speaker 1 No one seems to be leading the charge.

Speaker 1 No one seems to know who's in charge or what's going on. No one even seems to know who these people are.
This is Gestapo bullshit.

Speaker 1 And if you aren't scared of it, because you think that someone who broke a pretty simple law of jumping an imaginary line in the sand, that this is okay for this to happen, you are part of the problem.

Speaker 1 I don't believe people should get away with breaking the law either, but there are degrees of criminality.

Speaker 1 Some of these people, if they've done horrible things, do need to go to prison and we should spend our time, money, energy, and effort looking for those people. Yes.

Speaker 1 Not the people who are working at the fucking McDonald's, cutting a lawn, working as a law clerk, getting an education. That is crazy business and it is out of control.

Speaker 1 And no one seems to be able to stop it or get answers. Doesn't that scare you? Read your history books.
This has happened before. It's not going to happen.
It is happening.

Speaker 1 And everyone who has a voice should speak up and do it now, because that's the only way that these tiny brained human beings that are leading this are going to understand is if people say, I don't like it and I won't follow you down the fucking rabbit hole because all they care about is the clicks.

Speaker 1 All they care about is the money. All they care about is the power.
And if people don't follow him down the rabbit hole, they have none of it. And they will

Speaker 1 change their ways.

Speaker 1 He doesn't care. He doesn't give a shit.
He just wants to be popular. That's it.
That's all he cares about is feeding his own ego. We got to speak up and do it now.

Speaker 1 Specifically, I think about so many different things, but specifically about this. It's fucking scary.
Watch the TV. It's scary.
And it's not happening to some murderer, rape, robber, rapist.

Speaker 1 Maybe some of those people are getting caught up in this.

Speaker 1 It's happening to children, to mothers, to fathers who have done nothing wrong, who have paid their taxes, who made a mistake, and now they should be given the opportunity to either leave leave and do it the right way or sit in front of a judge and figure out how they do it the right way.

Speaker 1 But they shouldn't be thrown into the back of a van by maskless, faceless thugs who don't even,

Speaker 1 who don't even give a shit. Throw them in the back of a van and then disappear them.
It is insane. And it is exactly what happened.
Exactly what happened not too long ago.

Speaker 1 A little thing called Nazi Germany. It's fucked up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, to me, I mean, this is even more important than any Epstein file.

Speaker 1 Well, that too. But you know what? Yeah, that's what's getting all the attention.
Right. Because that's conspiracy theories went wild.

Speaker 1 And listen, I don't believe, I don't go down conspiracy theory rabbit holes, but now I've seen enough evidence come out, right, that some shenanigan is going on with Jeffrey Epstein.

Speaker 1 And that lady, Jelaine Maxwell, just got to be aware of that. Got moved to a low-security prison.
Got moved to a Margaritaville resort in Texas. Yeah.
It's insane.

Speaker 1 She is a child sex trafficker, and she gets the kind of treatment that non-violent white-collar offenders get.

Speaker 1 That's against the law. First of all, someone bent the rules.
Why is Trump's lawyer talking to that lady? Where are the Epstein files? Why are people redacting Trump's name from it?

Speaker 1 Why is Trump all of a sudden so eager to make this all go away? Why are the Clintons now being subpoenaed to talk about the Epstein files? Because

Speaker 1 they are trying to take the attention. And by the way, if Clinton is involved in any of this shit, he should go down too.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
I don't give a shit.

Speaker 1 I don't give a shit about Hillary or Bill. And I don't give a shit about anybody who's having sex with 13-year-olds.
I don't give a shit. Go to jail.
See you later. And if

Speaker 1 that's what it is, that's what it is. Democrat or Republican, I don't care.
I don't give a shit about Democrats or Republicans.

Speaker 1 But if Trump is hiding all of this to protect himself or other people that he knows that are powerful and in powerful positions,

Speaker 1 This is not a conspiracy. This is the worst of the worst.
They should redact the victims' names.

Speaker 1 They should put the files out there where the hard evidence is and denote where people are just friends with Epstein and people are involved with Epstein to make it clear to everybody that some people are just innocent bystanders who happen to know Epstein and they should release it and they should do it now.

Speaker 1 But that's not important. Because you know what's important? While you're watching the Epstein file bullshit, people are

Speaker 1 being thrown in the trunks of cars and taken to jail after jail after jail, moved around so lawyers can't find them. It's crazy.
It's crazy. This is not the United States of America.

Speaker 1 And it's going to continue. And it's going to get worse because they just got $148 billion to make it worse.
$148 billion

Speaker 1 to do what? To build huge prisons where they can disappear anybody and everybody, including your favorite podcast host that no no longer agrees with them. Guarantee that's next.
Watch it.

Speaker 1 Watch it happen. Oh, Brian, you're being, you're being crazy.
You don't know what you're talking about. Did you think this was going to happen nine months ago?

Speaker 1 Did you think this was actually going to be the result of what Trump was saying was going to happen? Guarantee you did not. You did not predict this outcome, but everybody said it was going to happen.

Speaker 1 And here it is. It's already happened.

Speaker 1 Fuck, man. Yeah, it's scary.
It makes me incensed. It makes me incensed because I have children, family, relatives, people

Speaker 1 who are legally here, who are citizens of the United States, but they have friends and family and friends and family and friends and family. And some of them are getting caught up in the bullshit.

Speaker 1 And it's insane, right? It's insane. Now, I don't know anybody that's been disappeared yet.
No. But we know people in our community who have been disappeared.

Speaker 1 They have been right here where I live, not in this house, but in this community, taking people off the streets, people who contributed to my society. And fuck them.
Fuck them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's happening everywhere. Yeah.
And you don't have the balls to take your mask off?

Speaker 1 If you got the balls to just throw people in the back of a van and disappear them, you should show your face. We should know where you live.
We should know who you are.

Speaker 1 We should know that you're in our community. We should be able to talk to you about it face-to-face, mano e-mano.
That's the way it should be.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. I just think it, I just think that way.
I'm speaking to you with my face uncovered. This is how I feel.

Speaker 1 So I'm sorry that some of you don't like it and don't think I know what I'm talking about, but I actually think I do.

Speaker 1 And just think for a minute, go to bed, go to bed tonight and wonder if that was your children, your cousin, your uncle, your best friend, because I guarantee in your life, you know somebody who may be subject to this kind of treatment.

Speaker 1 And think about that person that you care about having the same thing happen to them because it may, it's likely it will.

Speaker 1 We should all

Speaker 1 come together on this issue. I'm sorry, Chris.
You get to say that. No, I completely agree.
And I just couldn't go one more day without saying something.

Speaker 1 And I don't care how the other podcasters got to this conclusion. Maybe the money isn't there anymore.
It's not cool sentiment. They've decided they've come to some conscientious realization.

Speaker 1 I don't give a shit, honestly. Just keep speaking out.
And then we can deal with the fallout later. We can go back and say, you said this, when, when, how, when, where later on.

Speaker 1 But to the Rogans and the Schultz and the Theo Vaughns of the world, just keep speaking out. Just keep doing it.
All right. Okay.
Guess what?

Speaker 1 People are probably sick. I'm sure everyone is tuned out by now.
Do we just lose half our merch sales? I was going to say merch off Friday. Merch Shop Friday.
Rally LA Friday.

Speaker 1 But I do know a lot of you agree with me too. So there you go.
I think so. Yeah.
I think the people who don't agree with me are

Speaker 1 not the majority in our audience, but I will say that, you know, we've had quite a few people sometimes when I talk about this, they say, you know, I agree with you.

Speaker 1 And then we have a few that say, I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't know what there is to know about what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 The facts are out there. The facts are out there.
No matter which news organization you listen to. It's not just like our opinion.
No. That this is happening.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And no matter which organization, news organization you get your news from, podcast, whatever, they're all pretty much in agreement. Some of them agree with it.
Most of them do not.

Speaker 1 But, you know, everyone pretty much agrees on the facts. Massed, armed military thugs showing up in neighborhoods and stealing people, kidnapping people.
That's it. That's how it goes.

Speaker 1 Merch shop Friday.

Speaker 1 One, two, three, be funny.

Speaker 1 All right, this Friday, shop TCBPodcast.com, 3 a.m., the website will go live. That's 3 a.m.
Eastern Time, midnight West Coast. The website goes live, or at least that's what they've told us.

Speaker 1 So hang in there if it doesn't go live at the exact minute. Don't freak out and go away.

Speaker 1 Please buy some merch. Buy it for your family.
Buy it for your friends. Tell a partner.
Get your dog a sweater. I don't know.
Do something. Buy one for blue.
Tell a partner. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Buy one for your partner.

Speaker 1 Tell somebody. Shop TCVPodcast.com.
This Friday, Chrissy and I will be doing Rally LA Live. Go to Instagram at the Commercial Break, follow us.

Speaker 1 And on Thursday, we'll let you know exactly what time and how to get there.

Speaker 1 YouTube.

Speaker 1 Pinky

Speaker 1 Rally LA Live.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 you know, follow us on Instagram. Stay tuned.
YouTube.com/slash the commercial break for all the episodes on video the same day they air here on the audio and 212-433-3822 212-433-3 TCB

Speaker 1 questions comments concerns contents ideas go to the website tcbpodcast.com we also have links to the merch sales on the front okay Chrissy that's all I can do for now I think so I'll tell you that I love you and I love you Best to you.

Speaker 1 Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Until next time, Chrissy and I will say. We do say and we must say.
Goodbye.

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