You're On Half-Contact!

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Send this to someone infected with anxiety.

You've been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, aka the coward's disease, and that is okay.

You are addicted to being scared.

Social situations make you act weird and cringe.

You love to do panic attacks.

Your brain thinks too much and you're always worried about angering your loved ones or upsetting the hat man.

But I don't judge you about this and nobody should.

Be proud of your infection embrace it

Wear fashions about it.

It's anxiety girl summer.

Let's overthink on the beach and worry about being liked

and always remember

you are loved

Even if you're infected with lesbian

On this episode of the commercial break not in a misogynistic way, though, Chrissy.

No, we don't want anybody to get the wrong impression.

Can't wait to show her how quick she can get out of here.

Faster than you got here.

It took you six months to fall in love, you'd be gone in four minutes, not even six.

And this opportunity to show a girl, I always have an opportunity where I put a girl on no contact.

I've had Brooklyn on no contact many times.

She's on half-contact.

You're in a control

team coach P.

Team Coach Polly giving you a shout out.

Let's grow together, baby.

Let's get that commercial break audience over there quickly.

She's on half contact.

You're on a half a cocktail or something.

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Converted in the morning!

Oh, yeah, Cats and Kittens.

Welcome back to the Commercial Break.

I'm Brian Green.

This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy.

Holy best to you, Chrissy.

Best to me, Brian.

The best of you out there in the podcast universe.

How the hell are you?

Chrissy and I just reminiscing about the good old days.

The bad old days, or whatever you want to call them.

For like 45 minutes.

Yeah.

Sometimes we get sidetracked.

And the conversation is funny, but only if you knew the people, so we didn't want to clue you into it.

You know,

everyone's got those tales of the friendships and the craziness that goes around in your own friendship group or friends past or acquaintances that you knew, but it's only funny if you knew them, right?

And they're all the same stereotypes.

Crazy lady who dates too much.

Crazy lady who fucks too much.

Crazy guy who fucks too much.

Undercover drug addict.

Undercover

gay guy.

You know, all the same stuff.

The office is really not, the show The Office is really not a bad representation of actual offices.

I think that's why it's so successful.

Yeah, and I, what's her name, Meredith?

The romances, the things, this, that, whatever.

It's funny.

When Meredith was on, I say Meredith because that's who I know her as.

When Meredith was on from the office here at the commercial break,

she said that one of the successes of the show was taking the stereotypes that we all know and exaggerating them to levels that are undeniable because you know everyone knows those personalities.

There's the tweety dork guy who kisses up to the to the manager, to the boss at every turn.

There's the smartass who likes to pull the pranks.

There's the girl that everybody wants to be with.

There's this, you know, the sexed up secretary or whatever.

There's the sexed up, you know, HR manager.

It's all there.

It's all there.

We all know it.

And Chrissy and I happen to have worked at a Fortune 500 company that was very much full of those kind of characters.

And it's radio nonetheless, which is like restaurants on drugs, which restaurants are already on drugs.

So it's like being on double drugs.

It's just a place for misfit toys to come and spend some time and pretend they're in the real world with real jobs.

That's what they do.

And you can become fabulously successful in radio.

We knew a lot of people.

We used to.

I'm sure there still are a few

people making great money.

As a matter of fact,

when we worked there,

some people in our own office building were making salaries that I just could not believe for the life of me.

So, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to put a salary to the actual title, but there were people in our building that were making a half a million dollars or more a year.

And that just seemed insane to me.

There were salespeople that were taking home 350, 400.

Now, they had been there for a very long time.

They were a legacy

thing.

Yeah.

Once you've been there and you've got, you've built that client list and you're consistent.

uh yeah it's very

but when you're brand new coming in there's no chance there's no chance And that's why radio is truly survival of the fittest, which is not unlike most any other industry that you may work in.

It's survival of the fittest.

Can you outlast, outmaneuver, and out-strategize the next, the dip shit in the cubicle next to you or standing next to you on the warehouse floor or driving the truck or whatever it is?

I was talking to one of my family members who was explaining that, you know, he works in a,

I want to be careful about how I say this.

I don't know.

He works in a union.

That's probably the best way to say it.

He works in a union, and he says that, you know, his whole goal in life is to not rock the boat, to be there on time.

Yes, sir, no, ma'am.

Yes, ma'am, no, sir.

Just do the thing.

Always be willing to work the extra day, to stay the extra hour, whatever, and go home when you're told.

And if there's extra work to be done, you volunteer to do it.

You never take a day off.

Don't complain.

Schedule your doctor's appointments when it's not a working day and get on with life.

Because he says there's so many people that do that in the union that if I'm the one guy who doesn't do it or one of the guys who doesn't do that,

when the next project comes up, they will call me first because they'll go, he gives me no shit.

He gives me no shit.

He's dependable.

He's dependable.

Radio very much, I mean, I think there's a lot more politicking that goes on in radio, probably in the union too, but there's a lot more politicking that goes on in radio.

You really have to be kind of like pretty slick.

Sly.

Yeah, sly and slick to get your way through radio.

But, and at least that's what I observed.

But by the time you're a couple of years in, fuck it.

You're like the last man standing.

And now you have the Budweiser account.

You're making $150,000 a year doing nothing but showing up at cool events and drinking beer and going to the strip club.

That's it.

That's all you got to do.

So obviously, Chrissy and I were not smart enough to survive even the first round.

I did get the Budweiser account, but

then you lost it.

No, I never lost it, but by that point, I was so fed up with the whole situation.

Just terrible.

I got to get out of here.

Didn't you get Ying Ling too?

Uh-huh.

Did you get Budweiser and Yingling at the same time?

Yes.

Wow.

Good to see you.

That Yingling party was the one we did that

St.

Patrick's Day.

St.

Patrick's Day.

That was one to remember or not remember if you're Chrissy.

That was, yeah, that was.

Yingling's here in Atlanta.

Let's get everybody blackout drunk and send them to the hotel next door.

That's That's right.

So, anyway, welcome to the commercial break.

I'm Brian Green.

Hey, Kats and Kittens.

Hey, Kats and Kittens.

I just saw a post like 15 minutes ago as we're recording this.

I don't know how old it is.

Champagne Poppy, Drake.

Oh, posting on his Instagram.

And he, I think he might have a steak in that steak company.

I don't say steak, like the meat, S-T-A-K-E, which I believe is a betting company, if I'm not mistaken.

let me check this out real quick um

steak s-take s-t-a-k-e

steak casino that's right steak casino uh now i think steak and

drake i think they steak and drake stake and drake

uh Drake has a significant partnership with Stake, a cryptocurrency-based online casino and sports betting platform that involves Drake promoting Steak through various channels, including social media, live live streams, and events.

Okay, so I think it's fair to say that Drake gets preferential treatment at this betting company, Stake, at the very least.

He posted a screenshot of his account at Stake, and he posted one, he was betting on the NBA finals,

and he bet.

I don't, I'm just using large numbers here because I forgot what the actual numbers are.

$400,000 to return a $1.6 million.

Okay, not particularly strange for a sports figure or a celebrity to gamble that much money.

Happens all the time.

Phil Nicholson is estimated to have gambled half a billion dollars in his lifetime with the MGM.

He was a big gambler.

He's a big gambler.

He had to get out of trouble.

And that's how he got one of his sponsors.

They bailed him out of like $200 million in debt.

That is the story on the streets.

Who knows if it's really true?

But then Drake, a couple of like stories later, posts, I gotta be real real and post the real, right?

Like post what really goes on.

His account for the week, he had bet $24 million

that week.

He was in the hole, $5 million.

But year to date, Fortnite, year to date, $124 million,

he had bet.

He was $8 million in the hole.

$124 million.

Drake,

I don't know you.

You don't know me.

I could take or leave your music.

I understand you're a pretty big deal.

You could spend a million dollars on the commercial break, and at the very least, you wouldn't lose $8 million.

You might not make any money like us, but you at least wouldn't lose $8 million.

It is beyond me how you even with hundreds of millions of dollars or a billion dollars or whatever Drake is worth, how you could spend $124 million on betting is crazy.

And then you say, Well, Brian, you just said Phil Nicholson spent half a billion dollars.

Yeah, but I don't have the screenshot.

I don't have the receipts.

It's like it's right there and stars.

Well, I guess when you make big bets and win big, then the money gets on up there.

Yeah, but he was saying, like, you do lose, right?

Of course.

Yeah.

That's why they call it gambling.

I'm sorry, for the month he had bet $124 million.

For the month.

Yeah, just another month.

Yeah, just another month in Drake's life.

$124 million.

That's insane.

I guess that's what you get for discovering Justin Bieber, who is completely off the rails right now.

But that's a different story for a different dog.

I saw the latest on that.

He is really, I think, having some issues.

Someone put together a reel of like him running away from Haley in different situations, like just like running away from her, just like leaving her and running away.

And I don't know.

It could all be taken out of context.

Yeah.

But we posted that reel.

I got quite the response

when I was talking about him being buddying up to Judah Smith, the preacher of Church Home, and how some people think he might be in a cult.

And then there's just been lots of speculation.

Now,

I must caution myself and everybody else in getting involved too much in the drama because this is exactly

what the paparazzi like to do.

They like to whip up.

Yeah, stir it up, whip up stories that may or may not be true.

And then essentially, it's like art imitating life.

Justin goes crazy because everyone's saying he's crazy, right?

It's like, I'm not, I'm not crazy, I'm just trying to be a dude.

Um, so, but anyway, you know, Justin, Drake, they're well connected to each other, and apparently they have hundreds of millions of dollars to waste on gambling.

And God bless them.

I just once, just once in my life, I'd like to have any amount of money to waste on gambling, let alone $124 million.

Besides the $20 that I take if I go to one of those places.

Yeah, the $100 I spent.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm like, if I lose this whole amount.

Esther and I went to the Hard Rock in Dominican Republic, and they have a casino there.

And so you would have to walk through the casino to get to up into that one.

Yeah, okay.

They strategically put the doors to the rest of the facility, the rest of the resort,

right there at the front of the casino.

Yeah, you have to walk through it.

I mean, I I guess you could go to another door, but it would be like right past the lobby.

Yeah, right past the lobby.

That's right.

And so you have to walk through it.

It's not a huge casino, but it's not a small casino either.

It's probably the size of a couple football fields.

And then you have to walk through all those slot machines.

They're just yelling at you.

You can win a billion dollars if you just put a quarter in here.

Bah, blah, blah, blah.

So we take a hundred dollar bill and we get, you know, a bunch of ones or whatever.

And we're just feeding this machine.

And then we hit.

Right?

It's like, you know, oh, you've won $288 or whatever.

And we're like, holy shit, $288.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

We didn't even spend $100.

We won $288.

All right.

Time to call it a day.

I had just started, like, Astrid and I were just like brand new married, too.

And I was like, I want to show how responsible I am.

All right, babe, that's it.

We're gone.

Responsible gambling.

Yeah.

And then every time we would have to go in or out the door, I would just feed the machine.

Like, now I'm feeding it like a 10 or a 20 or a 50.

I can hit again.

I can hit again.

I know it.

Yeah.

Minus $500 later.

I'm just not good at that stuff.

I know.

I have, I'm playing that goddamn Disney solitaire, and I've spent more money on that Disney Solitaire than I've ever spent betting in my entire life.

And there's nothing to win.

There's nothing to win except fictitious coins and little like, you know, stickers of frozen characters.

And here's Brian, like, I've got to win this next level of frozen solitaire.

It's not even solitaire.

Nor does it matter.

I'm not going to win anything ever.

And I'm just addicted.

I'm addicted to that game.

I think because it makes my brain turn off.

And sometimes it's really hard to make my brain turn off.

And that's just the way it is.

Well, good to you.

Good for you, Champagne Poppy.

I applaud you for

best to you.

Here's what I do applaud.

I do applaud you keeping it real because I think, and even though those numbers are like

They're super silious, like how do you even understand that kind of wealth, right?

If you've never been there, you don't have that kind of money.

But here's what I applaud.

you're posting the wins, but you also posted that in total, in sum, you're not winning.

The house is winning and it's winning by a lot, by almost $10 million over the month.

And so you lost 10% essentially of what you bet, or I don't know, whatever it is, 7% of what you bet.

You lost that, and you're posting it for the world to see.

Because if you're going to buddy up to one of these companies, these gaming companies, and you're going to talk all about how much you can win, you should also be able to talk about how much you can lose.

And that could be a lot, lot, everything.

And that's a real problem these days.

I was talking with a friend of a friend who has a like a family member, young kid, young guy, 21 years old.

And he's in some deep doo-doo.

Yeah, I've heard more and more about those stories.

He owes one of these companies like $30,000.

And the kid doesn't even have a fucking job.

And how they let him get this far out ahead, I don't know.

And who the company is, I don't know.

And what's going on, I don't know.

But I just kind of, this is like, you know, drama thirdhand.

But I heard that the kid is really stressing very much and had to kind of like go to his parents and say i up and his parents are like holy shit what are we going to do mortgage the house i mean what do you want us to do and so they had to get a lawyer involved to talk to the company and see if they could stave off legal action but that's just one small example right one example in my own sphere of influence about how much trouble you can get in if you let it get out of hand.

And I'm not saying that you shouldn't do it.

Have fun.

God bless you.

Do your thing.

I mean, mean, I've gambled.

We've all gambled, right?

Just be careful.

It's

everybody makes it seem all happy fruit-frou, la la la la.

We're all having fun.

Every time you turn on ESPN, they're showing the betting lines.

They have someone else talking about what they're betting on.

It's very much in vogue to make it.

Well, we talked about this

a little while back, the gaming of it.

Everything is gamified, right?

Everything is gamified because our brains are wired for things to be gamified.

we understand that win-lose connection and winning to us at a genetic level sparks a bunch of hormones and emotional rewards and so when we game it's very exciting it's the kind of rick risk taking that we are built to understand and to keep doing over and over

yourself i did

solitaire yes i'm telling you right now i am addicted to that game to the point where last night i think i thought to myself i should take this damn thing off of my phone.

Yes, yes.

Because every time I run out of coins, I'm pressing another 399 to get more coins so I can play the game more because

I like the action of it, right?

I'm not getting any rewards.

It's not making me richer.

I'm not getting hit every time I win a game of solitaire.

At least I should bet.

If I would bet, then at least maybe I could win some money, but I'm not doing that.

I'm playing a game for children, for God's sake.

I mean, which makes it even funnier.

It is funnier, but I am wired, just like you are, to love that constant feedback of win-lose, win-lose.

Got to win, got to win, got to win.

So

it's a cautionary tale for all of us, me included.

As a matter of fact, Brian, listen back to this episode.

And when you do, I'm talking to you.

Put the solitaire down.

Go to bed.

No more clicking buy here, buy there.

Then they give you like discounts.

And I'm like, ooh, I can get more coins for 10% off.

Oh, well, the discount stuff.

That's another thing.

There's another brains.

They're wired like, oh, it's a discount.

Then let's do it.

And Disney Solitaire.

It's free.

Yeah, I know.

And the company that makes this is so smart.

I know it's not Disney themselves, but the company that's licensing these products, they're so fucking smart that this is what they do.

I have now logged into that Disney Solitaire like 38 days in a row.

And every time I log in, it gives me an increasing amount of coins to play with.

It costs coins to start a game.

If you want more cards, you have to buy them.

It costs coins and all this.

Every time I log into that game and every time I spend more money, they give me more coins when I log in the the next day.

Like increasing amounts of coins because they know that Brian can't help himself.

He will waste the coins.

He will lose the game and we will make another $3.99.

We have the biggest fish we've ever had on the line.

He's Brian Green from the Commercial Regs.

With over 50 views on his YouTubes.

I'm a sucker.

A sucker is born every minute, and this guy was born one second ago.

Okay, understand?

is a cautionary tale for all of us.

Be careful.

You can get sucked in real quick and you're in trouble all of a sudden.

And unless you're champagne poppy, you're not have enough money to pay these casinos back and they're going to come after you.

That's what they're going to do.

They're going to break your legs.

That's what they do.

They break your legs.

Break your legs.

I did it.

They'll break your legs, but they'll break your balls.

You'll fucking feel like...

They'll break your bank.

They'll break your bank.

They'll come after you.

They'll sue you.

I mean, that's no joke.

These people,

they'll sue you.

Now, the civil suit's suit's not the end of the world.

You can just whatever.

But at the end of the day, you don't want that kind of drama.

Who wants to go to court and get served papers and all that?

No.

Been there, done that.

Don't do it.

It's not worth it.

Stay out of courtrooms.

That's the best possible.

Here's another piece of advice from Brian.

Stay out of courtrooms.

Even if you think you might win, stay out of courtrooms.

It's just no good.

Ask that DJ.

Ask that DJT.

He hates being in Donnie Trump Jr.

or Donnie Trump C.

Whatever his name is, Donnie Trump Sr.

Anyway, Chrissy, we we had so much fun

at the beginning of this week talking about our new friend Coach Paulie,

the guy with narcolepsy on his couch who was telling us all about

the $100 throw pillows.

Not that they were worth $100, they actually had a picture of $100 bill on the throw pillow.

Yeah, we're not telling you they're $100, like at Target, go buy one for $100.

We're telling you they're actual $100 bills, but not wrapped pillows wrapped in $100 $100 bills.

So there you go.

But we had so much fun with that.

I thought it really was close to a TCB classic instantaneously

that I couldn't help myself.

Just like the game Disney Solitaire, I couldn't help myself.

I had to go back to the well one more time, and I found another video of him on his couch.

He's in different places, so you got to kind of vet out the ones that he's at.

But I found another couch video, and I think this one's going to be fun for us to watch because I imagine these things were recorded days apart.

He is putting out content at an epic clip.

He does like six of these a day or something like that.

He's no Frankie B, he's not giving it two months apart.

He's able to nap and like in between.

Right.

Or maybe he's recorded them a long time ago.

He's now just getting to them because he just woke up from his nap.

So let's do this.

Why don't we take a break and we get back?

Coach Paulie D is back.

Tell us more about the game of life and how to get late.

How to get late?

Oh, yeah.

You know it.

We'll be back.

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB.

It's pretty simple.

Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute.

Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command.

Do you want to help Astrid too?

You know you do.

Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

You can be on the show too.

Mm-hmm.

Just call and say something.

Anything.

Or text us and we'll text you right back.

Promise.

Then head over to tcvpodcast.com and get your free sticker.

It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide.

You get the point.

Follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break and watch all the episodes on video at youtube.com slash thecommercial break.

Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid.

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.

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hello it's lena dunham i host a podcast called the sea word with my dearest friend and historian of bad behavior alyssa bennett What is up?

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Racket tack it while I unpack it, Chrissy.

He's back, Coach Pauli D,

with this fake.

What What kind of hat is that?

Is that a Burberry?

Not a Burberry.

Fendy, yeah.

Fendy hat.

I guarantee that's not real.

Yeah, the other day he had on like a Boston hat.

Okay, Coach Pauly D is back.

I think we talked about this maybe on Wednesday.

We had this conversation.

That's Friday.

I know.

He's got his new card next to him.

Oh, my God.

He's wearing a tank top.

He's buffed, no doubt about it.

Guy's been working on his body, that's for sure.

I mean, I wouldn't want to get in a street fight with the guy, but you know, don't hurt me, Polly.

I'm just having some fun.

All right, let's listen to what Polly has to say in this video.

Oh, wait, hold on one second.

For some reason, I'm not hearing it.

Well, let me just fix it live on air here, Chrissy.

Do it.

That's what we're going to do.

System settings.

There you go.

He's got his chain.

Yeah.

He's going with the tank, black tank.

You narrate while I do this.

Yeah, he's got a spendy hat on.

The dollar bill pillows are beside him.

He's got a fluffy one up above his head.

Uh-huh.

Good.

All right.

You did a good job, Chris.

Good job, good.

There we go.

See, we fixed that right on there.

Didn't even know how to take a stop.

All right, let's go.

I like to do this live.

Fuck it.

We'll do it live.

You ever feel like no matter how nice you are, no matter what you do for her, no matter how much money you spend, she just simply doesn't respect you and does not give you the energy that you deserve?

She's not a toxic female.

Her energy isn't fucked up.

You're just soft.

Men have always led the way, and that's our job too.

So if a girl isn't submitting properly, then you are not doing your job.

It is never the woman.

Understand that and understand it clearly.

You got to understand that, Chrissy.

It's not me, it's God.

God said it, okay?

Submit, smack it, lack it, wreck it, let's go, let's go, hit it.

Let's grow together, let's go together, baby.

Come on, Chrissy, get it.

Positively.

Positively.

Because you can't.

I don't want anybody to think that I'm being negative here, Chrissy.

This ain't negative.

This is positive, all of it.

And by the way, I got a guy on my arm here.

You see that?

It's Jerry Lewis.

I got a tattoo of Jerry Lewis.

Does.

Oh, my God.

That's it.

Jerry Lewis.

Jerry Lee Lewis.

Jerry Lee Lewis.

Didn't he marry his cousin at 13 years old?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Today, I'm going to give you the real recipe on how to flip this.

Start commanding your woman.

Have real submission from your woman.

Have an intense relationship.

Sit!

Roll over.

Fetch.

In all the positive realms.

Nothing negative.

Submission, beautiful sex, beautiful relationship, everything A to Z.

Put up my main chick.

Let me tell you.

Oh, my God.

I just, oh, oops, I accidentally put a picture of an ass up there.

That's my cousin, Vezina.

Vezina, she's got a thong on, but at the top, it says Paul.

Yeah, it says Paulie.

It's of course, because that's my woman, because I command it.

Doesn't matter what I buy her, doesn't matter what I say to her, she's crazy.

I'm telling you, it's not me, it's not her, it's me.

I'm weak.

I got a leader, lead her by the chain.

What I like to do is lead her by the thong.

You know what I'm saying?

Chris, and I say, hey, put on this thong with my name on it.

Don't you forget it.

And then on, and then she's got another guy's name tattooed on her ass, so it's kind of confusing.

What does that say, Carl Domingo?

I don't know.

Yeah, something.

By the way, that's a BBL if I've ever seen.

Showing some things, cleaning my shoes, cooking for me, name tattooing.

Cleaning my shoes.

Cleaning my shoe.

That's right, Chrissy.

I didn't write it.

God said it.

He said, let the girl submit positively.

It's in a positive way, Chrissy.

Always in a positive way.

She's at my mom's house cleaning my shoes.

As you can see, she's in her song.

I bought it for her.

It's very classy.

It's all buttoned up.

I don't like it.

It's all classy, Chrissy.

It's all classy.

You understand?

I got it.

Shut up.

You don't know anything.

I've had six main chicks in the last couple of years, and everyone has submitted to me masters.

Wow, it's not quite the run.

Six main chicks.

One every two months.

Good for you.

Different levels of it.

We're at the upper echelon right now with Brooklyn.

But guys, it's all about the frame that you create from.

With the upper echelon, not at the top, Chrissy.

We're going to still got a couple more to go.

Got a couple more rungs of that ladder to climb.

But, you know, Brooklyn, she's all right, she's okay.

She got another guy's name tattooed on her ass.

I said, wear some makeup or shit.

I don't want to see that when I'm banging it from behind.

You know, I get her on the water cooler.

I take her on my mom's bed.

I take her inside the shopping center, and then I fuck her right there at the spot.

You know how it goes, Kirsty.

All right, shut up, stop laughing.

Day one.

On day one, I lay out the frame of the relationship, and it never gets turned back.

I understand what I'm creating with my woman, and

you know what?

I'm all except.

Well, I'm asleep now.

What are you going to do?

I taken some bad pills last time, Chrissy.

This time I took the right pills.

I meant to take the uptown pills.

I took the downtown pills.

You understand how it goes.

Shut up.

You know anything.

You ain't a pharmacist.

I didn't say it.

God said it.

Fall into my frame, then it's dead over.

No more game.

Stackjack, why I teach you how to Mac.

I forgot about that.

Subscribe to the video, boys.

It's me and you growing to the top.

Fit Stack Jack money muscle mindset, baby.

Boxing work tomorrow.

I'm excited about life.

I fucking strain my shoulders.

I say a lot of words.

I know a lot of words.

I'm still trying to accomplish that.

Stack, jack, help me unpack.

Yeah.

Stack, jack, help me pack.

I gotta go to sleep over here in this sack.

You know what I'm saying, Chrissy?

I just did that.

It hurt.

I'm still doing it, but it's gonna get better.

I just did 30 push-ups.

I'll get it better one way or another.

One way or another.

I've been whacking off a lot.

You know what I'm saying?

In between naps, I've been whacking off a lot.

Snap, crack, help my hand whack.

He said he strained his shoulder, but it's okay.

Yeah,

he's gonna, he's in 30 push-ups.

He's okay.

I'm gonna do 25 push-ups right now.

Burpees, but I'll still do them.

And if it really hurts when I keep doing them, I'll just do a slide on Friday night.

So my guys who replace the burpees could change up anyway, and I'm gonna get better because I'm an inevitable, unstoppable motherfucker.

So,

more words.

Did you hear more?

My words

is one stream of consciousness, motherfucker.

By the way, what is that dead Star Wars creature on the back of his head?

What is that?

I don't know.

It's like a fuzzy pillow he's got behind his head.

Is that to hold himself up?

Yeah, I think so.

Keep his head up.

I don't know.

I suspect there's some chemical in the mix here.

I just can't put my screen on it.

Yeah, guys, subscribe to the video.

So it's all about that frame that you create.

So the first issue is you guys are showing weakness.

You ask her permission.

You ask ask her if she wants to go here you let her lead in the relationship and a nice stock video of some crazy person

he's showing stock video frankie did this for a while too he started putting stock clips in his he quickly learned that that was not the way to go pauli will learn his lesson all different avenues from asking questions to letting her act dress certain ways and it's not that you're a misogynist asshole it's that oh it's not no no no.

What are you calling?

That's not the case.

Okay.

You don't lead and she wants you to.

So instead of, even in a nice way, suggesting what you wear on a Friday, Saturday night, whatever, you just let her run the game and she wants a man like me to take the lead.

You're asking, hey, do you mind if I do this?

Like, can I go out with the guys?

Hey, do you want to go here Friday night?

Do you want to do this?

This is not turning her on in any way, shape, or form.

This is not how we do things.

We're going to Taco Bell.

I already told you twice.

Shut up.

I don't know what to tell you.

We're going to Taco Bell.

I'm going out with the boys.

I'm going to fix my hand by getting a couple extra whack reps in.

I'm going to go down by the whacking tree, rack it, stack it, get me packed it, and then we're going to go.

I told you, I want to go to Great Wolf Lodge.

I like the water slides.

Shut up.

Shut up already.

You're in the upper echelon, but let me remind you, you are not the top.

I got a couple more rungs to go.

So enjoy it while it lasts.

I set the terms day one, and then you follow them.

So you're asking for permission of pure weakness.

Okay, this is.

But not in a massaginistic way.

I know.

I feel like I'm at.

I'm at massage envy, waiting for my masseuse.

This is turning your woman on, bro.

Safe, weak, safe, bored.

You think she's turned on?

Turn the fuck off.

Permission.

Weakness.

Fuck that.

Tolerating disrespect.

And then when she comes at you with shit, you tolerate it.

Okay.

I always say, I can't wait till she fucks up.

I can't wait to show her how quick the door is.

Oh, not in a misogynistic way, though, Chrissy.

No, no, no.

No, we don't want anybody to get the wrong impression.

Can't wait to show her how quick she can get out of here.

Faster than you got here.

It took you six months to fall in love.

It'd be gone in four minutes, not even six.

And this opportunity to show a girl, I always have an opportunity where I put a girl on no contact.

I've had Brooklyn on no contact many times.

She's on half contact.

She's on half contact.

Paulie D, go.

Hey, it's me.

You're on half contact right now.

I told you not to call me.

I know, but I just want

to I'm stuck in half contact.

I can only understand half of what you're saying.

You're in half contact.

Whoa!

Boy!

Polly, Polly, Polly, Team Coach P.

Team Coach Polly giving you a shout out.

Let's grow together, baby.

Let's get that commercial make audience over there quickly.

She's on half contact.

You're on half a cocktail or something.

You forgot to take all the medication your doctor prescribed you.

This is insane.

It was something else she did.

It wasn't anything anyone would care about, but me and my dynamic relationship.

But it wasn't anything anybody else will get upset about, but me and my dynamic.

Not in a misogynistic way, Chrissy.

Positively, I didn't say it.

God said it.

What I did was I threw her out a car window and I said, Have contact till next Tuesday.

Shine my shoes.

I gotta go take it.

I'm creating a savage businessman, fitness mogul, things like that.

My girl needs to act a certain way in public, and that's very important.

I'm introducing you to many people.

You can't embarrass me in any way, shape, or form.

Anything I even half think about, did I like that?

That means I did not like it.

And we corrected.

You guys.

What?

This guy is the

I don't even know what to say here, Chrissy.

He is the mashed potatoes of all mashed potatoes.

He literally

has soup in his head.

He's got soup in his head.

He's full of ragu.

I don't even understand what he's saying, really.

He's creating a fitness mogul.

So anything I half-think about, did I like it?

No, I did not.

Yeah.

Anything I half-like, I did not like.

I did not like that.

It's half-like.

Now you saw you're on half-contact.

You get it?

You understand?

We're training you now.

Come on, Brooklyn.

Let's get it together.

Brooklyn.

Someone check on Brooklyn.

Someone check on Brooklyn.

Hey, Brooklyn, you okay?

Call us up.

Letting girls, disrespect.

Basically, you spit in your face in public, tell you this, that, and you're just dealing with her fucking attitude.

Just dealing with it.

Why?

Because you don't love yourself.

But you have her safe board and turn the fuck off.

What we're going to do is save this board.

Safe word?

Safe word.

Safe word?

Please stop hurting my feelings in public.

He's a mogul.

Raincoat, raincoat, I'm saying the safe word.

He's a mogul.

He's a mogul

with his pillows

from Hobby Lobby.

So scenario and how we're going to segue into the healing is you need to take control.

You need to to be an utterly different

man Okay

I see the parallel here.

There's a picture of what I have to imagine make this up you can't make it up what the stock photography he's putting in here is it's an Asian man laying on the floor with his eyes closed.

Yeah

Take control.

Nothing says take control like taking a nap

And in the life you've created with her.

So how do we create this when you've already had a faltered setup?

Now, she cancels Friday night.

We're doing this.

I cancel on it.

You cancel?

Don't wait.

I cancel.

She cancels.

I cancel.

I cancel first.

She canceled.

I canceled.

Then she canceled.

I canceled first.

I said.

Talk to her for a week.

Listen, I don't do this.

I'm going to take a little time apart.

We're not going to talk for the next 72 hours until I want to give you an opportunity to think about what you did.

She flips out, let her go.

Eventually, she'll come back.

Is that half contact?

Oh my God, that's half contact.

72 hours?

Go think about what you did.

Here's the reason why most guys don't do that because human beings don't deserve to be treated that way first, Paulie, coach Paul E.

D.

Second of all,

most guys that don't quote unquote train their women to submit to them

would instantaneously lose somebody they cared about if they put them in a like a no contact order for 72 hours.

What in the good fuck are you suggesting?

This is really dumb.

Really.

I mean, mean, I imagine that most people that are listening to the show understand that.

But, Paulie, I think you got it all backwards, but I think it's like built on mutual respect and conversation and communication.

If you're arguing or dislike, disliking each other's personalities or behaviors that much, it's probably an indication you shouldn't be together.

Opportunity.

She's late for the date.

Make her have covered the tip, if not the whole bill.

Make her cover the tip.

Make her cover

this.

Oh, my God.

Oh, I see where this is going.

I see where this is going.

Covering the the tip, if not the whole bill.

The whole bill.

This guy needed a daddy that taught him differently.

This guy needed a dad that did not treat him the way that he got treated because this is, it's obvious that he thinks that punishment is the way to submission and submission is the key to a good relationship.

When I, my, at least my interpretation is the exact opposite.

Yeah.

You want them, you want somebody to be feisty.

You want someone to have their own personality.

You want someone to feel like themselves and the ability to communicate honestly and openly openly and with transparency.

If they're being disrespectful, then there's a conversation to be had about that, certainly.

But you shouldn't even be dealing with that from the beginning.

I can't think of one time when Astrid was like yelling at me in public and I had to put it.

I thought, well, I got to put her in her place.

No, we don't do that to each other.

And if you're doing that to each other, you either A, like it, B, are just taking, you're in the wrong relationship and you don't know what to do, or C,

that's you're just in a really shitty, toxic relationship.

You need to get out.

As things I did with my uh a few like girlfriends who go made check i made her pay the tip on one of our last bills because she was acting up not only was she 15 minutes late i was thinking about that but then she was cute i was gonna let it slide

she came in and the titties were hanging out a little bit chrissy so i said all right i'm gonna let it slide you only have to get this dinner the next dinner and my rent for next month But then she acted out, Chrissy.

I said, I only half like this hamburger.

And she said, oh, so you liked it?

And I said, you fucking bitch.

Did you hear what I said?

I said, I half like it.

That means I don't like it.

You pay the whole bill now and the tip.

Don't tip good because they didn't have good service here.

Fuck that.

We were on our makeup of a few breaks and halters in the relationship.

And then guess what?

She acts up the whole time.

I said, Yeah, here's my credit card.

Take care of the tip.

And it was a big deal.

She did not like that at all.

Here's my credit card.

Takes care of the tip.

And now, Bill, she didn't like that at all.

She didn't like that you paid for the bill.

I think you're trying to save this story at the last minute, buddy.

I think he was trying to save this story.

You pay this test.

This guy is a cartoon character.

It really is.

You can't be real.

You can't be real, Polly.

Fucking like that, but that's alright.

Because guess what?

I knew she had to go anyway, and that was another test to see how she reacted.

Everything with my woman is testing.

I need her to understand that everything's a test.

When you grow up, you guys are.

What is with the editing?

He's like getting close up and then back and then close.

I know.

The last episode, he could not keep his eyes open, and now he cannot close his eyes.

He's like the exact opposite of what this is.

It's weird.

Everything's a test.

That's the worst kind of human being to be around.

It's seeming like a relationship built on tests.

Yeah.

I love a good relationship built on tests.

Because guess what my favorite thing as a kid was?

Tests.

We all have fond memories of tests.

You're in control.

Why are you not putting tests on people?

You need to control the scenario and the situation in all ways, shapes, and forms.

You need to constantly give them hoops to jump through.

I want to talk about the four hoops I have a girl jump through after matching on a hinge or getting a DM on Instagram because I don't DM person anymore, I only receive with this.

I bet you do.

I got to talk about the full hoops we got to jump to, Chrissy.

But first, I got to take a nap.

All right, let's do this.

Yeah, I know.

Let's take a break and then we'll get back to this unbelievable video.

I thought it couldn't get worse than yesterday, but it had.

He went from zero to a hundred overnight.

All right, we'll be back.

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB.

It's pretty simple.

Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute.

Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command.

Do you want to help Astrid too?

You know you do.

Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-433-3 TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

You can be on the show too.

Just call and say something.

Anything.

Or text us and we'll text you right back.

Promise.

Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker.

It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide.

You get the point.

Follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break and watch all the episodes on video at youtube.com slash thecommercial break.

Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid.

Hey, Fidelity.

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All right, back with Coach Paulie.

And I don't remember.

Yeah, I'd love to tell you the name of this video or the subject or the title or the theme, but there really doesn't seem to be anything going on here except for him in a stream of consciousness conversation to himself about all his ex-girlfriends and the things they've done wrong to him.

He said, if she texts you against an attitude in any way, shape, or form at the house or out at a restaurant, tell the night's over.

Sorry, honey.

Text me in the morning if you feel better.

And end it.

Mean that shit.

Otherwise, she will do it over and over again.

She knows you're a bluff and you don't mean anything.

The moment she sees you mean business, the world is yours.

You have to.

Oh, my God.

Don't text me until the morning.

Yeah, you failed to test me in the morning.

Hey, mom, can I get some ragu?

I'm not going out with Brooklyn.

Brooklyn's not in the upper echelon anymore.

She's on a no contact, ma.

Don't answer my phone for nothing.

For nothing.

Nights, and you have to add tips to her bill, and you have to go no contact.

Ed tips to her bill.

What are you talking about?

He's focused in on these tips.

I know.

Things are going to have to be one, two, or three, even the best of the best.

The way my new girl treats me is insane.

I still went three times, no contact.

No, I haven't made her pay a bill.

She pays her own flights here all the time because that's the law of reciprocation, right?

So I do all these things for you.

I pay for things on the fourth time of your next flight.

Why would you not want to pay?

If you and Tom went to the bar, he buys, you buy, right the law of reciprocation says it's his turn to pay so why when you get a vagina involved it changes the law of reciprocation

holy shit what in the good

is going on in your brain bro wow wow wait i get i'm gonna understand exactly why brooklyn is paying for her own flights because you ain't got no fucking money and i guarantee that's the bottom of your mom's basement guarantee that's your mom's basement you do not have your own house for sure without a doubt i mean I don't know for sure.

So, let me not say for sure, but without any doubts in my own head, you're in your mom's basement, and I bet you take her out to the finest eateries, like Cheesecake Factory and Chile's.

Fucking douche.

There's a lot of reciprocation doesn't have a sex, there's no gender.

Check water boxes.

So, with that being said, I have a pay of flights.

I reciprocate, I take care of everything else here.

Never tested me, never raised her voice, never canceled or anything.

But the first time I was going to have her not come here when she was driving from Connecticut and scared the shit out of her because she took too long, got a different call because she's going to take the shitty call on the rental.

I said, listen, let's just quote tonight off.

I don't even know what to say.

This is so much better than Frankie B.

This is so much better than Frankie B.

Sorry, Frankie.

I found a new boyfriend.

Yeah, this is the upper echelon.

This is Paulie.

Polly B, right here.

Polly B.

This is the upper echelon of jokesters because, Frankie, you're pretty good, and I'm not going to leave you, bro.

Don't worry.

I'm not going to put you on a no contact like Paulie would, but I do have to say, this is

so

much deeper

of a

of a like fucked up mentality than Frankie has.

If you put me in a room and I was a woman, I would go to Frankie every day of the week because 100%.

At least Frankie makes me laugh.

This guy just scary in the way that he thinks.

He's got a weird mentality.

I told him when she's coming up from Booker, she had to change costs because that shit ain't reliable.

I said, Don't even come.

Don't even worry about it.

You have my front door turned around.

Go back to Connecticut.

I don't even know where I live.

I didn't even know.

I didn't even know what to tell her.

I had to call mom.

I said, Mom, what's our address?

No, you know, I don't know how to spell our street name.

Mom, call me.

All right, she got crazy.

She says, Please, I've never met you before.

First date.

So let me come back in and see.

First date?

Wait.

First date.

Wait.

I've never met you before.

Please.

Please let me come.

Let's listen to that again.

Please, I've never met you before.

First date.

Don't let it go for that, but she strongly understood after that.

And that's on her first date.

I don't want to get late.

So we had such strong connection through messaging and everything.

Oh, I'm sure you did.

Oh, my God.

Whoa.

Who's writing your messages for you?

Who's writing your messages for you?

It's on attitude.

You must make it pay the tip.

Go no contact.

People can say this massages.

No, I have a great relationship and I've always had a great relationship.

I love my woman like nobody else.

My bitch looks bad like me.

She rocks Gucci ads.

You understand me?

She rocks Gucci ads.

She's bad.

This is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

She's mad.

Gucci.

This guy is a Goomba.

It's It's like the definition of Goomba.

I have mad respect, mad respect for my Italian brothers and sisters.

I grew up with you.

I know all about it.

But I gotta be honest, this guy is making us all look bad.

He's an idiot for five of us.

You know, for our best interest better than anybody else.

What else can we do to fix this problem?

Is completely building a lifestyle that you cannot resist A to Z.

Disciplined social media platform of your personal brand growth.

Are you hearing this out there?

How can you build an unstoppable relationship?

Social media platform with a brand lifestyle.

That's the first thing I look for on a Tinder profile.

Do you have a social media platform with a brand lifestyle?

Because if not, I don't even want to know you.

Yeah, let me see your brand lifestyle.

Who's that company?

Brandonista

or Brandista.

And fitness finances, family, and faith, showing energy that people have.

He said the four words that Frankie always says.

Family and fun, or whatever.

Yeah, he said faith.

Yeah, he said faith.

Frankie doesn't say faith.

He knows better.

The respect and being like a godlike figure, and she's going to have have to treat you like a godlike figure.

Why is she going to treat you that way when you're not that way?

This is the easiest tip I can give.

It's going to take six months.

It's the easiest tip I can give, but you got to pay for it.

Because you're on a half contact.

It's going to take six months.

No, it's going to take six months.

A year to even get some of this respect if you're starting from zero.

So we can talk about that ASAP.

Subscribe to the channel and you'll get more of this information.

Oh, he's falling asleep halfway through the video.

Here we go.

Yeah, this is what I'm talking about.

This is either true narcolepsy or some kind of chemical.

So now coursing through his, I'm going chemical.

I'm going chemical too, and I bet I know which one.

Information and comment anything, hit me up in any way with a comment.

Go to my Instagram, DME, and good, talk more about the game for free on me.

But you need to build that lifestyle.

Everything, A to fucking Z.

And number three to A to fucking see.

I don't want any.

I don't want any half contacts.

I want you all in.

Ship creation is lead with massive example.

Shoulder.

Lead with massive

example.

You know.

Massive example.

That's right.

Your example got to walk in the door before you do, Chris.

They're in your life.

Like I said, with number two, Villain Lifestyle Gym that she wants to follow.

Couples that sweat together stay together.

I actually believe that shit because it's real.

Show all that shit.

Lead with that.

Lead when you're taking her out.

All these things.

Let her buy the dress that you're going to put her in on Friday.

Take massive power.

Let her buy the dress you're going to put her in on Friday.

Yeah.

Let her pay for everything.

That's his

way to go.

Put this to the gym, baby.

We're going to the gym Saturday.

We're going to have the dinner Friday, Sunday morning.

You're going to make the bed.

I'm going to order in breakfast.

We're going to have sex all day.

And then this week's going to be crazy.

I'm going to help you blow up your business in this way.

I'm going to send you flowers on Tuesday to your job.

Wednesday's going to be like...

We're going to pass out flyers on the Jersey show.

I'm going to blow up your business.

What do you do?

Oh, you're an OnlyFans model?

I'm going to help you blow up your business.

I'm going to take videos.

This, next Friday, we're not hanging out because I got some other things to do.

Let them mysterize what you're doing.

Mysteriize.

Yeah.

Now we're making up words.

See the next week.

And when we do that, you're going to wear this.

It's going to be beautiful.

I'm going to walk around by the pier.

This is going to be like this.

I'm going to walk you.

Oh, my God.

I'm going to spit out my drink.

I can't even.

I can't even make the jokes because they're just making themselves.

I'm going to walk you around the pier

like the sh like the Shetland pony you are

We're gonna let the kids pet you're gonna collect some tip money

Wow, I'll bring that little portable water bowl you like

I'll get some treats

You can do some tricks

We'll take some pictures with the kids.

You know how it goes.

I didn't say it.

God said it.

Racket, pack it, smack it.

Let's go.

Pack it.

Out of the frame.

And that's the part one, two, three.

To make this situation proper and get you out of that funk of being disrespected and not treated right, not having the things go the way you want for how nice you are.

Now, I want you to ask yourself these questions to close out.

Does she look up to you and respect you massively?

If not, then we need to fix that.

Because a woman will die to surrender to a man that she admires and wants and wants to take the lead.

Surrendering and submission is something that they want to do as a female.

Wow.

I mean, where did you learn anything?

Anything.

Anything.

I think the American school system is broken.

I think the American school system is broken.

This is definitely proof.

So many girls are in so many unhappy marriages on antidepressants because they never found a man to take the lead.

I've had three chicks come off antidepressants while they're with me.

They got off one pill.

They went to another.

Yeah, they went to another.

Guaranteed.

That's so powerful what it could be if you just take the lead and handle everything for a woman.

You understand?

And that doesn't mean finances.

That means show discipline, daily habits.

Build businesses together.

Work together.

Help each other through everything.

Have conversations.

Show where we're going.

How.

What's that noise in the background, like that hissing gas noise?

Is he pumping nitrous oxide there?

That might explain something.

That might explain something.

We're doing everything.

Protect to provide.

You understand me?

Be dangerous, but disciplined.

Dangerous, but not an asshole.

Manly but not a motherfucker.

Stoic, masculine, but not a piece of shit.

Be kind, but be a fucking.

Oh, my God.

I can't keep

it.

Yeah, the back and forth.

It's a score that's close.

It's away.

It's close.

It's away.

The editing on these videos is terrible.

Imagine he does it himself, but maybe Brooklyn does it.

They're building businesses together, Brock.

By the way, let me tell you, Brooklyn, I'm on your side.

So don't get it twisted.

I'm on your side.

Get out.

Get out.

For war, but take care of your relationship so she doesn't have to get ready for war.

This helped at all.

Subscribe.

Hit that fucking button.

Hit that fucking button.

Hit it.

I can see some people just smashing

their computer screen.

You told me to hit the button.

Comment anything that you liked in this video at any time.

And then click the link to the Instagram.

Go follow my shit.

Free fitness and dating content.

Instagram's all fitness.

Come on, man.

Stack Jack White.

Teach you how to Mac.

Hit me up on A LS.

Just Talk for free.

I want to get to know my people, man let's grow the muscle architect baby let's grow

the muscle architect

by the way i just want to point out this video ends at eight minutes and 28 seconds it's actually 10 minutes and 38 seconds long so there's two minutes of nothing

literal dead air

That's some tight editing going on in that editing room.

Oh, Brooklyn.

Brooklyn, contact us.

We feel for you.

We know you're out there.

And, oh, wait, oh, wait,

I'm starting.

I got me so messed up.

I'm starting the show again.

I got to do it over.

I want to hear it twice.

Oh,

wow.

Thank you to the listener who sent us Polly.

Thank God.

To the listener.

I'll shout you out next time we do a Polly video.

I'm sorry.

Was it Amanda?

I can't remember.

I don't want to get it wrong.

I'll get it right.

I'll go back and I'll look.

This was sent a couple of weeks ago, or maybe even a month ago, an Instagram real was sent to me.

It said, you got to check this guy out.

And within a minute, I was like, oh, this is young Frankie B.

But I could not have possibly known just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Because this is so much worse and better than anything Frankie B has ever said.

Wow.

Paulie, man.

It's a lot to take in.

It is.

Paulie, man, listen.

First of all, all in in good fun.

Second of all, you got a lot of things twisted in your head, man.

And I would love to talk to you.

I mean, we can talk it out.

I just think you got a little bit of a different, weird perspective on life and on relationships and on women.

It's not transactional.

They're not objects, bud.

They're not objects.

They don't want to be led.

I don't think.

I'm sure some of them do.

What's that?

Or have contacted or full-no contacted or whatever the rules of your game are.

I think everyone just wants to be respected.

I think that's what it is, right?

And if you can get to that place with most people, I think that's okay.

I do think there are some women who want to be led around.

I think there's some men that want to be led around.

I agree.

And that's okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's okay if that's what you choose to do.

If Brooklyn's in on that, cool.

But this is bad advice to be giving everybody in general.

But anyway, you're going to find your people.

There are going to be hundreds, if not thousands, of people following you before too long.

Because it's 2025, it's the end of the world, and that's what's happening.

yes

all right 212 433 3 tcb 212 433 3 tcb exciting news next week to tell you about as chrissy and i have the first tcb mini series series coming at you very shortly and you are going to love what we have in store for you so you want to make sure you follow us on kick and twitch at tcb podcast at the commercial break on instagram also we'll let you know about anytime we go live any of the events tcbpodcast.com on the web and youtube.com slash the commercial break for all the episodes on video the same day they air here on the audio.

Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

I think so.

I'll tell you that I love you.

I love you.

Best to you.

And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say.

Goodbye.

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