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Good evening, CrabApple.

I am Dr.

Edna Snodgrass, your Director of Health and Human Services for the township.

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If you or someone you love is currently affected by pregnancy, please report it directly to the CrabApple Pregnancy Amnesty Tent located behind Dave's Tata and Taco Shop.

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We'll be back after this commercial break.

On this episode of the Commercial Break.

BT's down in somewhere in Florida and he just sent us a picture of a guy, sent Chrissy a picture of a guy with swim trunks on in the ocean.

And those swim trunks have an upside-down pineapple, and

there's wording, and it says, plays well with others.

That's pretty clever.

That is pretty clever.

Hey, listen, if you're a swinger, you want to get the word out there.

You got to decorate your door or wear the trunks.

That's got to be a game of numbers, I would imagine.

You got to see like thousands of couples before you find one that not only are they going to be swingers, but then they're going to be swinging with you.

So I get it.

I get it.

I totally understand.

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Oh, yeah, cats and kittens.

Welcome back to the commercial break.

I'm Brian Green.

This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joyholdy.

Best to you, Chris.

Best to you, Brian.

Best of you out there in the podcast universe.

I'm still getting over it a little bit, so I sound kind of nasally.

Okay.

I'm trying to breathe through it, taking deep breaths, getting there, I'm getting there.

Yeah, you guys really had it.

Wow.

We did.

We had it.

We got it.

Still isn't gone away, but whatever.

It's going to be here for the entirety of the school year.

So what am I going to do?

Yeah, and I just saw that the allergy season is like upon us now.

Oh, good.

Good fall.

Double whammy.

Yeah.

Allergies.

Back to school drunk and junk.

Back to school, gunk, and junk.

And

anyway, we've spent way too much time on that here at the show.

So we'll just know that I'll always be sick.

That's how it's going to go.

I'll always be sick.

A lot of reaction to my Burning Man rant the other day, mostly in my favor.

Some obviously disagreed with some things that I had to say.

That's okay.

We can agree to disagree.

I feel strongly that Burning Man is everything that it shouldn't be, but okay, whatever.

And they just found, they just released the name of the guy who was murdered.

He was murdered with a bowing knife.

One of those huge bowing knife.

How do they let people out?

Yeah.

Do you need a bowing knife to survive in the desert?

Are you killing anything out?

Is there anything that needs killing out there?

Are there deer?

Are there fish?

What are you doing?

What are we doing?

Jesus.

I don't get it.

I'm not understanding.

But anyway, his name is Vadim.

He's from Russia.

It was his first event

in the post where they named him.

Some people said they camped around him and they were there.

you know when the police showed up and all that other stuff and they saw him and what a terrible terrible thing to have gone through.

Yeah.

But that's not the news I want to point you to today because that's depressing.

Let's not think about that.

God bless Fadim and his family.

Yes.

And all his friends.

What I want to point you to is that while I was scrolling through Facebook, which is where I've gotten most of the Burning Man information, because unbelievably, I belong to Burning Man groups.

And I'll explain how.

Because I explained, I have been to Burning Man.

Not Burning Man, but Burning Man.

And they're all intertwined in some way, shape, or form.

And Burning Man has satellite events throughout the country, like 62 of them or something.

A lot of them, really?

Yeah, and one of them is here in Georgia.

And that group is loosely tied to another group that's loosely tied to a party in the woods group.

And somehow I got invited and I jumped in.

While I was scrolling on Facebook to get the latest updates on the Burning Man drama, I was served an ad.

an ad for an AI platform.

That AI platform will take a picture of anybody that you know, including including yourself, and it will turn it into porn.

Oh, I think that's illegal in like 32 states, but okay, let's get over that fact for a second.

It's certainly illegal in Europe.

Europe has outlawed it.

I read about that.

Yeah, they're like 10 steps ahead of us as far as putting guardrails on AI.

But what was most surprising about this ad was not only did it have tens of thousands of likes and at least a thousand comments, but it had

boobs in the very realistic, very real-looking boobs in the advertisement.

It was a video, and in the video, there were girls taking their tops off.

And there were like four or five of them in a row, just taking their tops off, right?

It said, turn any picture you know into spicy content.

And this was a sponsored ad on the Facebook platform.

So riddle me this, Batman.

Since when do we allow nudity on on Facebook?

Unless it's artistic.

I don't know.

Does it make a difference because it's AI and it's not real?

Maybe.

I don't know.

I'm not one to get all upset about boobs.

You go to Spain, there's boobs on kids' cartoons.

I mean, there's boobs everywhere.

They're on, you know,

in Europe, they're on billboards, they're on,

they're in magazines, they're on commercials, they're everywhere because they are not as uptight about the human body as we are.

But we are uptight about the human body.

And so since we are, I I thought there were rules on Facebook around nudity and certainly around advertising nudity.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know either.

But there were a lot of questions, same questions were in the comments.

But does this make,

you know, what I just thought about?

Is does this now, if you would like to not do the actual porn, can you just upload your face to AI porn and put it out there?

And then you don't have to actually do it.

You know, I thought something very similar.

Like, if this face,

from like, I don't know, the cheeks cheeks up with a good head of hair, so basically just my eyes, if my eyes and somebody else's body and

most of their face

could make money being in porn, can I just generate

I'll go for gay porn because I know that pays me.

Right.

Right?

Yeah.

Why not?

Why not?

Why wouldn't you fuck all this scraping along here at the commercial break?

Let me get some AI generated, straight, gay, swingers.

Yeah, you're in all of it.

Yeah, all of it.

PDSM.

Yeah, pegging, legging, shining, shoeguing.

I don't know.

Whatever the kids are up to these days, whatever positions they think they can accomplish by watching other people in porn movies, let's do that.

Got news for you.

AI is not going to make the idea of sex any better.

One of the things, one of the big knocks on porn that I have is it's not extraordinarily realistic

most of the time.

Sure, you can, we've said this on the show before.

Sure.

You can get into a shower and try and grab your lady friend by the hind quarters and get her up on you and take her to town till she orgasms an hour and 30 minutes later.

But it's unlikely you'll even be able to get her on by the hind quarters and get her up on top of you.

And I guarantee it's not going to last for more than a minute.

And everyone's going to be in pain afterwards because that's the reality of physics.

Those people are athletes.

They're gymnasts.

They're cirque de Soleil artists without pantaloons on, if you know what I'm saying, Chrissy.

Those people do feats of incredible strength and endurance.

And most people aren't up for it.

You think this guy is going for more than 12 minutes?

No.

But the average length of a porn movie, at least

when I started watching porn, well, it was different back then.

You put the tape and the VCR.

Yeah.

Or tried to unscramble the.

Yeah,

that's right.

You'd be watching Skinnamax

for a tit that showed up every 30 minutes.

It was like an hour and 12 minutes long, these scenes.

And you're like, wow, what?

I'm done.

What are we going to do now?

I don't need to watch the ending.

It's unrealistic, most of it.

That's how we talked about the walker sex.

Yes.

You know,

somebody up on the walker.

Yeah, because then the walker does most of the work.

And you're just tiptoeing up there.

But this AI-generated porn ain't going to make things any better because now it's going to be even more unrealistic because essentially it's a cartoon that's being generated by a really fancy computer to make it look super realistic.

And people are going to be having those characters doing all kinds of things that no one knows.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fly like Superman while my 12-foot dick jizzes in their eye.

It's like, come on, man.

It's weird.

I don't know what world I woke up in today, but there's now nudity on Facebook.

Well, I'm not surprised at that.

Yes.

And for many years,

you know, I have friends, I used to know, I used to be friends with a woman who worked in the modeling business.

And I became friends with some of her friends.

And through the years, as they grew up and did their modeling thing, they would post pictures, always with a little X here or a little black line there, you know, these more artistic photographs, nude photographs where they were topless mainly, because of Facebook's incredibly prudish algorithm.

They would get banned or they would get knocked or they would be takedown requests or whatever it was.

And there were many, long before I was married, there were many times where I was like, God damn that black line or fuck that X or whatever.

Now you can just do whatever the fuck you want.

Go show your choo chow whatever you want.

Yeah, why not?

I mean, it's all over X.

So, you know, it doesn't matter.

They got to compete with X.

It's whatever.

Yeah, X is a real shit show.

It's a real fucking shit show over there.

Yeah.

It's all Russian bots and porn and

crazy conspiracy theories.

And I don't believe any of it.

I think 90% of that is AI generated.

I think 90% of the accounts are AI generated.

And it's.

I know.

I can't remember my password and I don't want to.

Yeah.

I'm just straight off.

I check it like once every week and a half or two weeks.

And nothing good ever comes out of my conversation with X.

And I do like Grok seems to be a cool AI tool inside of the social media platform.

but I hate Facebook.

I hate Grok.

I don't understand.

I understand TikTok, but I'm not like, I'm not super invested in it.

So Instagram and threads seems to be the thing that I go to the most.

But now is there going to be nudity on Instagram?

Because for me, I kind of like the thought that there isn't.

Like, I got to work for it.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm not getting the show here.

Right.

Right.

I'm not getting the show here.

And there's no way an OnlyFans account is showing up on any of my credit card receipts.

So I just have to imagine things.

Use my imagination.

You just have to deal with the yoga pants.

Yes, that's right.

The extremely tight yoga pants or the micro bikinis.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Yesterday I saw an ad for a company out of LA that does nothing but micro bikinis, and those things are barely there.

And I've seen them out in the wild, like the super micro bikinis.

I've seen them out in the wild, but how that covers, I mean, it just basically covers your clitoris.

That's it.

That's all it covers.

It's a clitoris coverer.

That's what it is.

Get a clitoris cover here at this place.

And just a fig leaf.

Not even a fig leaf.

We're talking like a.

You know the Edamambe that you get?

Yeah.

You know, and then you take the beans out and then you have that little thing left over you throw away.

It's like that company took two of those things they threw away, one of those things and just put strings in between it.

And that's what they're covering with.

It's unbelievable.

So this all leads me to another conversation that I wanted to have.

And I know this person doesn't listen to the show.

I know they don't.

At least I don't think they do.

So this way I can have it.

And I'm certainly not going to use her name.

For

years,

I have been a Facebook friend with a woman.

Now, it's no surprise that over the pandemic, many people that I know, male and female, turned to OnlyFans because that was a revenue generator.

Everybody was spending time online.

Money was coming in the door.

OnlyFans was the hot place for you.

You were stuck at home.

You were stuck at home.

You could be a content creator of the sexual or or nude nature.

Do it by yourself.

Have 100% control over your own autonomy, how it went out, when it went out, all that other good stuff.

And I've read a lot that there are a lot of Old Neigh fans creators now who are unfortunately not making the money that they used to.

They're getting out of the business.

They did it, or they saw the dark side of the business.

You know, they found fans that were too rabid or got crazy or scary or whatever.

I can imagine.

It's not all bad, but there are some stories starting to come out that I'm reading that it's it's like, I thought this was going to be a good thing, and it was until it wasn't.

I love the idea of OnlyFans.

I love the idea of being able to control your own destiny.

Exactly.

It's honestly, and I say this and it's going to sound funny, but it's not.

Creating content on OnlyFans is no different than creating a podcast.

You create the content, you distribute it with your control, and then you sell subscriptions to it or ads or whatever.

All right.

Your Facebook friend.

Facebook friend that I've known for many years.

And I've kept up with her.

I know that she has done some like modeling before.

And what I mean modeling, I mean like at the Red Bull tent.

Okay.

She'll show up in that event

or

wherever.

That kind of modeling.

Like promotional modeling.

Yeah.

Marketing.

We used to work with those girls a lot and got, I mean, the Budweiser girls.

The Budweiser girls.

The different, all those different, the Red Bull

girls.

Yeah.

Yes.

Skimpy outfits.

And that's the thing.

So she would post sometimes these pictures of her at these events and stuff like that.

And the dress was not modest.

The dressing was not what I would call modest dressing, but it wasn't nude either.

She wasn't putting any nude photographs out there.

And I don't care either way.

I'm just sharing.

She got married a couple of years ago.

She said they seem very happy

where they are and what they're doing.

And her husband seems like a really nice guy.

Now, granted, I knew this girl in real life like 12 times.

Like, I was never really good friends with her.

Okay.

But yesterday, when I was looking on Facebook, I saw a picture that she had posted a week ago, and the picture was way more risque than I've ever seen her post.

And I, and she was like taken by the great photograph taken by the great blah, blah, blah.

Oh, okay.

And he, and it was a hyperlink.

So I click on that, wondering who this dude is, right?

And then that dude's Facebook Facebook is full of black lines and X's and marks and micro bikinis and all this other stuff.

Clearly of the sexual nature, clearly of the

boudoir.

Boudois.

There you go, Chrissy.

The boudoir nature.

And I thought, wow, very interesting.

You know, maybe that's maybe there's good money in that.

Maybe that's why she did it.

Maybe she just likes to see herself like that.

I mean, whatever.

Cool.

Lots of people do boudoir.

Oh, yeah.

So then I Google her name, just just on a, just on a lark.

Wonder what she's doing.

Google her name to find out that not only is she an adult actress,

but she is one of the biggest adult actresses in recent memory.

Oh, wow.

She is a prolific adult actress

with many different movies and films and television photographs, OnlyFans, and tens of thousands or maybe hundreds of thousands of subscribers.

And I had no

fucking idea.

None, no clue.

I had no clue that this was going on, all behind my back.

No one called to inform me.

No one called to inform me.

Yeah, she didn't call and tell you.

She didn't call me, knowing that I was in the entertainment business, thinking that

you could manage her career.

You could mentor her

to higher aspirations and goals.

Don't you want to be the Howard Stern of OnlyFans?

I could negotiate a three-figure deal for you

on your next contract.

Yes.

It was not.

Listen, I don't give a shit.

I mean, that's not, I'm not pointing out that I care.

I'm not being judgmental about it.

I was just surprised.

I was like, wow.

Well, I guess that shows you how long you've been off of Facebook, really.

Yeah.

See how it was progressing.

Yeah, I mean, I haven't seen a post from her in probably, since I can't remember, six months, nine months, whatever.

And I don't keep up with her.

Like, I'm not like, you know, oh, I'm going to go check and see what she's doing.

I don't keep with anybody on Facebook.

But

I also would have imagined that at some point in the last 13 years, I would have put two and two together in some way, shape, or form.

And her and her husband seem so happy.

So now I'm wondering if some of those still photographs that I saw on Google are her husband.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Like if they are creating the content together.

But then I thought he was like an account manager at like, you know, Smith Barney or something.

That's what I thought he was doing.

Well, there's a lot of money in porn.

There's a ton of money.

Yeah.

So maybe, and who knows, maybe this was AI.

Maybe they, her face.

Could be.

You might be right about that.

You could be right.

And she has a very small circle of Facebook friends.

And so now I'm starting to believe that there's a, like, I'm I'm on her real page.

There's a reason why there's a small circle.

It's a closed community of people that she feels safe with.

And maybe that's just not a place where she would post any of that content.

Right.

Maybe there's another place that she personally has a business page.

Yes.

I would imagine that she does.

On X.

I'm not going looking.

It's almost like finding out your neighbor does porn.

You're kind of curious, but you don't really want to know.

So when I saw

that, clearly this is what direction this was and then i pressed images and then i saw the images and i was like okay bail now while you can before you get yourself in any kind of trouble just bail bail on it

hit the abort button uh and that was fine with me i you know i always i always thought she was awesome like i i liked her i thought she was not like in that way but i always thought she was cool yeah cool and great and congratulations and there is a lot of money in it and i think you know it's a service that obviously is wanted and needed and people like it and they enjoy it.

And now all you have to do is put two copies of your passport and your ID in in order to get into the porn, at least here in Georgia, which is fucking insane.

I know.

It's insane.

It's insane.

I read about this law.

And

I read about this law.

And then I went to U porn.

and it's true as fucking shit.

Uporn, you can't even get here in Georgia right now because there is a new law where they have to pay to verify your identity through one or multiple different verification checks.

They have to take your driver's license, keep a picture of it, or verify or passport or social security number or whatever it is.

And I'm not down for it.

I wasn't much for the, I'm not like a U porn kind of guy anyway.

So it doesn't, it's like no skin off my back.

But at the end of the day, it's fucking insane.

Yeah, there's plenty of others that are allowing it.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Chrissy's like, listen, I've got a list.

I'll show it to you.

Jeff and I keep it on the refrigerator.

Jeff and I got it on the refrigerator.

Well, I just went to the one that I knew was the biggest one, U-port.

And it was like, due to restrictions, and, you know, call your senator with a picture of a girl spread eagle.

It was like, call your senator.

Call my senator.

Sure, I'll call my senator.

Yeah.

Who we got, Osoff and Osoff and Warnock.

And Warnock.

Sure.

I'll call both of them.

I'll call Reverend Warnock and tell him that I desperately need to whack off without verifying.

Without verification.

Without verifying that I'm three times the age needed to be to whack off.

Okay?

Yeah, call your senator.

Oh, unbelievable.

It was crazy.

And I was talking to one of my brothers about it.

He's like, oh, yeah, man.

Oh, yeah.

He's like, but don't worry.

There's ways to get around it.

And I was like, I don't need like a secret code like up, up, down, down, AB, AB.

I don't need the Nintendo code.

Yeah, how do you get around it?

I don't know.

Who cares?

It's okay.

Yeah, just put a VPN on and go through Canada or whatever.

One of the places that doesn't, you know, feel the need.

For such a fucking freedom-loving

Republican administration, it sure seems like we're controlling a lot of what goes on around here.

I don't think 13-year-olds should be looking at hardcore, you know,

violent porn anyway, but that's for the parents and the kids to figure out.

You got to navigate those things, just like my parents did when I was a kid.

I got my porn from friends, passed down to generation and generation.

That's how it went, okay?

And the kids should be able to go through them.

Now they can't even sneak a peek at a tit.

Just go on Facebook now, I guess.

That's what I was going to say.

That or ex or whatever.

Wait, how does Facebook, how can Facebook get away?

Well, I guess they already know my age, but how can they get away with throwing porn on there?

Yet you porn can't even operate in the state of Georgia right now.

Unbelievable.

All right.

We'll be.

Chrissy's going to give me the name of the other sites, and I'll check them out.

We'll be back.

Let me do something Brian has never done.

Be brief.

Follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break.

Text or call us 212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker.

Then watch all the videos at youtube.com/slash thecommercial break.

And finally, share the show.

It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters.

See, Brian?

That really wasn't that difficult now, was it?

You're welcome.

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So everyone's all up in arms about the Saturday Night Live.

Yeah, there's been a lot of people leaving or being fired, I guess.

Alert, alert, alert.

Nothing new under the sun.

Yeah.

Nothing new under the sun.

Really, in I don't remember such an uproar about something that happens pretty regularly

on this show.

SNL, always controlled by Lauren Michaels, since the first day, with the exception of a couple of years back in the 80s or something like that, he has always had a tight grip on the cast, and he's always made the decisions about who stays and who goes.

And it always happens that every year there's people out and people in, and then every five or six years, there's a big shakeup.

The whole cast seems to turn over.

Right.

And that's just what happened.

And I know that there are a few cast members that people love, but, you know, okay, that's just the way the cookie crumbles.

I mean, you can't be on SNL forever.

It tends to be young people at the beginning of their career trying to get a foot in the door.

And then some of them make a name for themselves and some of them don't.

And some of them kind of waffle in the middle somewhere in between stardom and stage.

And lots of people who did not do well on Saturday on SNL Saturday Night Live, they go on to have great careers.

And lots of people who did great on SNL have no career.

It's just the way that it is.

It is a tale as old as time.

It's been going on for 50 years.

They just had their 50-year, you know, party.

Yeah.

But this year, everyone seems to be making a big fucking humble up about all this.

It's in the news a lot.

It's in the news every day.

And I think because

maybe because he has slow-rolled it this year, like one every day, and

then everybody.

who hasn't, you know, half a million people on Instagram or TikTok, they have an opportunity to get out there and tell their side of the story, story, which is basically the following.

Every story is the same, and I'll share it with you.

Fuck the show, fuck Lauren Michaels, best experience of my life.

I mean, that's it.

That's what they say.

Because, of course, we had Rosebud Baker on, one of the head writers of the show.

And she has become very popular over the last year.

Of course, they always get popular the day after they come on the show

on some other podcasts.

You know what I'm saying?

But we had her on, had a lovely conversation with her.

I loved her.

And she was, even though we've had some other SNL cast members on the show, she was the one who kind of gave the most insight because she is a writer.

She is not typically in sketches or has only been in one or two as a background player.

But she explained that it is really a fucking grind and it is difficult and you have to get used to rejection and you have to find friends and it can be political and it's hard every week to come up with brand new ideas.

And sometimes you just have to keep whittling away at one or two ideas until they get in the door until you get your break and And then Lauren pays attention to you.

And there's 40 people in a room.

And they're all barking out their ideas to the celebrity guest.

This is not an easy job.

It's not supposed to be an easy job.

It is very difficult to do this.

And so, of course, it's a shit show.

And of course, you feel slighted.

And of course, fuck the show because it kept you up 72 weeks in a row.

Yeah, with non-nodos.

Yeah, but on no-does, that's right.

Or

probably a lot better.

No-does times 10 of great quality, right?

Because I'm sure the SNL cast has a direct line into Chevy Chase's original dealer.

Right?

I'm sure of it.

There's got to be like the son of the son of the drug dealer of Chevy Chase is still hanging around the set every Friday night.

This is like, again, a tale as old as time.

There's nothing new.

Why are we all getting very upset?

Because a few cast members we like got fired?

That's sad.

That sucks.

I remember what it was like.

I have liked some cast members that have gotten let go.

But, you know, Matt Lauren has a method to the madness.

He sees that puzzle pieces aren't fitting, or he thinks he needs to put something new in there to shake it up.

Or it's just time to shed the skin of this cast and get to the new one.

Yeah.

Get to the fresh faces so that we can see if this one can coagulate together and gel in some strange way.

So I don't know.

I just find it odd that there's a real like full court press on this situation.

I mean, the cast is never just going to be all in one piece

for the next 20 years.

No.

Or 10.

Or 10.

Yeah, most casts, most really good casts were around for two or three years, tops as a cast, and then they started peeling off one by one or rotating in.

Everybody thinks of, they go, oh, Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray.

No, no, no, no, no.

Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, Chevy Chase wasn't even there for a blink of an eye.

Steve Martin was never a part of the cast.

Steve Martin was never a part of the cast.

Bill Murray didn't come until later, and people hated him.

John Belushi was there, but he wasn't there for super duper long.

It's like all of these people have rolled in and out.

Then you think of like, you know, the Will Farrell years or Adam Sandler, Kristen Wigg,

Amy Poehler.

All of these people were part at times of a really fantastic cast, but it didn't last very long.

And then

they were just a standout player for a while.

The only person who seems to have figured this fucking thing all out is that Keenan Thompson Wayne.

Yes.

Who looks like he's 12 and he's 67 years old.

He is really funny.

Yeah.

And he's really fucking funny.

Just playing the same dumb character every time, the guy who's laughing in the background.

You know, he has figured this all out because he like signed a 10-year contract with them or something.

He's going to be there till the day that he dies.

He is literally the longest-running regular cast member of SNL, and he will be for a long time because no one has done it like that guy.

How did he manage to get?

I don't know.

He did figure it out, though.

I don't know.

Maybe he's the drug dealer that everyone's been talking about.

You know, listen,

man, would I love to talk to Keenan?

Honestly, that to me would be a dream guest because I really get fascinated by the intrigue and the backstage drama of SNL.

And he's seen so much of it over the years.

It would just be, and I would love to have.

I should tell Bella that.

I don't think I've ever said that to Bella.

I should tell Bella.

Or maybe she said, no, that will never happen.

It's like, dream high, but

dream big.

Think small.

Expectations.

Dream big.

Let's set expectations.

Expect small.

That should be the new nickname of the show.

Dream big, expect small.

Right.

But listen, you know,

I think there is a part of me that believes that this is a PR push on behalf of NBC for a couple of different reasons.

New season.

New season.

Lauren's been there for a long time.

There is no heir apparent.

Maybe there is.

Who knows?

Right.

Many people have said that, what's her name?

Not Amy Poehler.

Who's the one from Tina Fey?

Tina Faye.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Tina Fey is the heir apparent to Lauren Michaels for SNL.

That makes a lot of sense to me.

That makes a ton of sense.

Yeah.

Ton of sense.

She's brilliant.

She's a brilliant writer.

She's funny as fuck.

She had one of the funniest fucking television shows ever in 30 Rock.

That makes sense to me.

Maybe SNL also

from NBC is feeling some pressure.

to shake things up because of what's going on politically in the environment, right?

And

that maybe some of these people are getting let go, not because they are not fans of the administration or not Republican or whatever.

The show in general tends to lean liberal.

Of course.

It always has, right?

It's a bunch of drugged-out comedians.

I mean,

from New York.

I mean, that's just the way that it is.

But maybe there just has to be the presence, like the appearance of changing things around.

Also, maybe NBC in and of itself is putting on a little full court press in the hopes that Lauren feels some pressure, that it's time to figure out the next step for him, for the show, and for whoever the next executive producer is.

That is my, something tells me that this seems like a big to-do about nothing.

Yeah, it seems, it does seem like that.

Who's manufacturing that?

It's Howard Sterns people.

Howard Stearns.

I was about to say the same thing.

Howard Stern, Inside Sources at Stern Show.

Say.

yeah.

Any more on that?

I've been keeping an eye on it, you know, kind of hour by hour.

But so far, all I can gather is that there was an email sent around on Sunday night before Labor Day.

We talked about the Stern drama with SiriusXM yesterday.

You can go back and listen.

I'm not going to repeat it.

But there was an all-staff email that went out.

And that all-staff email from bits and pieces that have been supposedly leaked,

there may been family emergency, like a family health emergency, probably his mom is very old, coupled with they were close, but they didn't get there yet.

Now, his contract doesn't end till the end of the year.

So, but it's it's likely that just like our contract or anybody's contract in contract.

You start talking about it before.

It's about three or four months before that you start talking about it.

So, and there's a period there where you, where like Sirius can just, just Sirius can talk to him, and then he can kind of open the door to other people if they can't come to an agreement so I think this is like getting close to the deadline and they're trying to figure out that's my gut I also think that this is kind of like okay maybe there's like a family health emergency maybe there is some tension around the contract maybe they haven't figured out every last piece of it but I also think this is just good publicity for people tuning in for

like remember him yeah yeah

shake it up again right shake it up shake it up shake it up well our attention span is very limited these days so yeah you have to kind of keep reminding people.

I was talking to Jeff the other day about the old advertising thing of people have to hear it three times.

5.5, yep.

But I think that's got to be double at this point.

At least.

Yeah, at least.

At least 3.5.

You know, I think when I was working in the podcast industry, there was something that came out.

I believe it's at 5.1.

Yeah, oh, got to be.

5.1 with radio with podcasts.

It was still down around 3.5, especially if I was the one giving the advertisement because people were more likely to pay attention to it.

But still,

it's a complicated measurement, and you never really know

if you're getting through to somebody.

We've had text messages from people that say they skip the ads.

Okay, you skip the ads.

What can I do?

What can I do?

Right?

You think my ads are bad?

Try Stern.

He's 12 minutes of ads every hour, and he doesn't take them like broken up.

He takes them 12 minutes at a time.

Oh, wow.

Which is insane.

Same like how radio has gotten to be now.

Oh, I can't can't even listen to radio anymore.

Two, two songs, 10 commercials.

One song, two commercials.

You know, three songs, 30 commercials.

Yeah.

Weather, traffic, news, you know, promotion, podcast promotion, podcast promotion, podcast promotion.

It's crazy.

Radio is just a lost leader, I think, in a lot of ways for advertising and podcast promotion.

That's what they do.

So anyway, you know, back to SNL.

I look forward to the changes.

I also, if I'm being my most honest self about SNL.

Be authentic.

Be authentic.

I think the best thing about SNL right now is

maybe Mikey Day

and probably weekend update.

Okay.

Yeah, weekend update's always good.

They have funny moments, but in the episodes that I've watched over the last two years,

I've always said this about SNL, and you tell me if I'm wrong.

I think if you're a watcher of the show or even like a casual watcher of the show, then you will probably, this will probably resonate with you, but you tell me if I'm wrong.

SNL has always been, it's 90 minutes long, it has always been 12 or 15 sketches total, two or three of which on the best of nights are going to be uproariously funny.

That's correct.

Three or four of which are going to get a giggle.

And the rest of which are going to fall way fucking flat.

It's just going to be like...

That's the way it's been for years and years for me.

It's been that way ever since I started watching it and I started watching it as a child because my dad was into it from the beginning.

So even on the best of nights, I think if they get like three or four really good sketches, that's like a really good episode of SNL.

Even back in the Will Farrell days, I mean, the Mora Cowbell, that there were for every one of those, there were 20 that were not great.

Not good.

Yeah, but you watched anything Will was in or you watched anything Mike Myers was in or Dana Carvey.

I mean, there were a couple of years there and everyone, you know, everyone in their youth is, is going to remember comedy a different way.

So they're going to be, their favorite cast is going to be a little bit different.

But that Will Farrell, Mike Myers, you know, Dana Carvey.

Adam Sandler, though he was never my favorite, whatever, Dennis Miller, all those guys.

And then going into, you know, Tina Faye and Amy Poehler.

Kristen Wig.

Kristen Wigg.

Sometimes you would get an episode where there were like five really good sketches, right?

Yeah.

And then you just watched because they were a part of it and you liked them and you wanted to see if they could pull out something funny.

But largely, the show is at least half of just kind of a dud.

It's just kind of a dud.

But you watch for the musician and then you, you know, whatever.

So it's a game of, it's not a game of inches.

It's definitely a game of miles.

Like you have to go a mile to find another funny sketch and go another mile to find another funny sketch.

This is right.

It's hard to do that week after week.

It is.

Yeah.

It's a huge accomplishment.

I love it.

I think it's such a like a bold endeavor that Lauren.

Oh, 100.

I mean, that's why it's lasted for 50 years.

Yeah, because I think at the end of the day,

nothing.

60 Minutes.

That's what's lasted for 50 years.

60 Minutes and South Park.

Those are the only two things that have lasted for 50 years.

Which is really funny this season, by the way.

Really funny.

Like really funny.

Yeah, because they all of a sudden, they, you know, they're eating their own young, so to speak.

And it's, it's ballsy.

it's ballsy

and right after they signed a 1.2 billion dollar non-refundable contract

they waited till they signed it and then they said fuck you fantastic run it or don't run it we don't care you own it it's yours and you can't take the money back and we can't give the money back and that's it and i just love that i think that's just a ballsy move and they're saying things that they're they're they're targeting and satirizing things that quite frankly i think we desperately need to discuss and satirize satirize.

That's the way we're going to get through all of this.

Yeah.

If we find it funny.

And if you don't agree with our political sensibilities, that's okay.

It doesn't mean you have to hate us or that we have to hate you.

But what are you thinking?

But what are you thinking?

This ain't America.

This is some weird third world country.

It just blew up a Venezuelan boat.

I still thought I was going to talk to you about that because of Venezuela.

All right.

We'll talk about it when we get back.

Let's, or when we get back, when I get back, where am I going?

I should switch the camera on.

Yeah, I'm going to go take care of my child who's screaming in the background.

All right.

I'll be back.

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB.

It's pretty simple.

Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute.

Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command.

Do you want to help Astrid too?

You know you do.

Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

You can be on the show too.

Just call and say something.

Anything.

Or text us, and we'll text you right back.

Promise.

Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker.

It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide.

You get the point.

Follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break and watch all the episodes on video at youtube.com/slash thecommercial break.

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One of Chrissy's friends.

Hey, BT.

BT's down somewhere in Florida, and he just sent us a picture of a guy, sent Chrissy a picture of a guy with swim trunks on in the ocean.

And those swim trunks have an upside-down pineapple, and

there's wording, and it says, plays well with others.

That's pretty clever.

That is pretty clever.

Hey, listen, if you're a swinger, you want to get the word out there.

You got to decorate your door or wear the trunks.

That's got to be a game of numbers, I would imagine.

You got to see like thousands of couples before you find one that not only are they going to be swingers, but then they're going to be swinging with you.

So I get it.

I get it.

I totally understand.

All right.

So here is the lowdown.

So we all know that Trump has, Trump and his team, his administration, have had a big focus on deporting illegal aliens, the worst of the worst, the robbers and the rapists and all that other stuff, which turned out to be absolutely not true.

He just was indiscriminately pulling people off the street, including U.S.

citizens, people who are legally entitled to be here, and people who have upcoming court dates to determine whether or not they can legally be here.

I don't need to tell you, you have to have your head in a hole not to understand this.

And I have railed against this before on the show.

This is not the way that this gets done at all.

For crossing an imaginary line, it seems like a crazy experience to have to go through.

Taking parents away from children, children away from parents.

Right now, there's like a plane sitting on a tarmac full of Guatemalan children that a judge keeps telling everybody not to move, and they keep trying to move it.

And it's just like they are saying, Fuck you, to the rule of law and to the rights that we deserve as citizens and non-citizens.

The second you step foot in the country, you are entitled to some rights under our fucking constitution.

But anyway, one of the things that he tried to do, Trump and his, you know, team of Gestapo like Stephen Miller, Qualified.

Yeah, qualified.

Qualified people who have a degree from DeVry

or

worked as a high school football coach or something.

I don't even know what they do.

I don't even know where Stephen Miller comes from.

But if there's a guy that I really target as the guy who is pulling a lot of these puppet strings, it's him.

And I think Trump goes along with it because Trump trusts his sense, like he feeds into that energy, that sensibility.

One of the things that they did, one of the things that Trump did last time he was in office and a lot of Venezuelans applauded him for, was he granted a temporary immunity to those seeking asylum from the Maduran government.

The Maduran government is insane, and they have caused a lot of people, a lot of damage, including death.

And it has.

Between Chavez and Maduro, they have really done a number on the country of Venezuela.

So I'm not going to give a history lesson because every time I do, our Venezuelan fans correct me.

So I'm not going to give that history lesson right here, right now, because I'm not from Venezuela.

I'm just married to and love a bunch of Venezuelans.

But I will say this.

I know enough to be dangerous.

And here's what it is.

When Trump granted that protection, Biden then extended it.

And then right before he left office, he extended it again, that protection, I think for another three or four years, something like that.

Enough to give people enough time to get in front of a judge and let the judge

go through the process.

Give the judge enough time to determine whether or not that asylum was warranted and should be granted.

It's about 600,000 of those Venezuelans, 600,000, more than half a million of those Venezuelans, that Trump decided indiscriminately to write an executive order and pull it.

Just pull it.

For what reason?

No one knows.

Why?

Because he thinks that

the Maduran government is send, his words are that they're sending people from insane asylums

and criminals

and that they're invading America.

That it is all a plot and a plan from Maduro to plant Trenda Agua inside of the United States to kill U.S.

citizens, rape, and rob them.

I am not denying that bad people come from Venezuela, they come from every country,

including the United States of America.

The enemy is often within.

But

it is such a fucking crime, in my opinion, to

bastardize one nationality.

For what reason, I am not sure.

Is he trying to pick a fight with Maduro because Maduro buddies up to China and Russia?

And is he trying to pick a fight because he knows that it's an oil-rich country and a beautiful country that he could have control over in some way, shape, or form?

I don't know.

Is he just calling out Venezuelans because they're an easy target in a tough time?

I don't know.

There's no doubt that there's a lot of Venezuelans who have run from that country.

Most of that, it's a brain drain.

Most of the young, talented people there that can, that have the means to, have gone somewhere else.

They're dispersed all over the world.

It's a displaced people, largely.

There's still a lot of people who live there, of course, but you know, let's call it

opportunities.

Yeah.

Right.

So guess what?

Yesterday, or the day before yesterday,

whoever took these people to court in a class action lawsuit took the administration to court and said, this is illegal.

You can't pull this particular protection status.

You can't do it.

And a federal appeals court agreed.

They said, nope, can't do it.

For some people in some states, some Venezuelans living in some states.

And

they said, because you cannot use the Enemy Aliens Act,

because we are not at war with Venezuela.

They may be coming over here, and it may even be directed by the Maduro government in some circumstances.

But yet, we are not at war.

Technically, we're not at war.

Congress hasn't declared war.

You haven't declared war.

No one's declared war.

There's no war going on.

For weeks, if not months, the Trump administration has secretly been sending machines of war down to the Caribbean to surround Venezuela: submarines, navy ships,

personnel, military, big guns, all kinds of stuff.

They have been sending it down there so that, what?

So that they can invade Venezuela, so that they can effect regime change, so that they can scare Maduro away.

They put a $50 million

bounty on Maduro's head.

A $50 million US dollar bounty on Maduro's head.

I don't care where you live.

That's a lot of fucking money.

And I bet it makes Maduro scared as shit because if I'm in Venezuela and I got nothing to lose and my life fucking sucks anyway, I don't know.

Or if I'm some crazy paramilitary dude in the U.S.

or if I'm former Navy in Germany, whatever.

Think of all the circumstances upon which that $50 million could incentivize someone to make a move and then put the United States military down there sitting around

waiting for what?

I don't know.

Some people think to invade Venezuela.

Some people think to scare Amaduro.

Some people think to send missiles into his compound, into Caracas.

Who knows?

Who knows if that's ever going to happen?

It's all speculation.

But here's what did happen.

The day after

the protection status was

extended, stayed by this federal appeals court.

Which is a conservative appeals court, by the way, I was reading back out of New Orleans.

Okay.

All right.

There you go.

Which is what they do too.

They do a lot of like judge shopping, the government will to make sure that they get the judge that they want.

They've

released a video, somebody released a video of a boat with 11 people on it, supposedly, supposedly running drugs out of Venezuela.

And the U.S.

government blew it up with a missile.

They fucking blew it up with a missile.

That is insane.

You don't like

go in, grab the guys, grab the boat, grab the drugs, put them in an international court.

This is in international waters, by the way.

This wasn't in Florida.

This is off the coast of Venezuela.

They're blowing up boats now, claiming that they're drug dealers, claiming that they're drug runners.

Could be true.

Probably is true in some way, shape, or form.

I don't think that they would do it just like, I don't believe they would do it just absolutely willy-nilly, but they killed 11 people and they blew up a boat.

And I'm not saying that we should have mercy on like narco-traffickers or narco-kingpins.

That's not what I'm saying.

But is that the way we operate now?

We just blow people up.

We just blow people the fuck up, people from other countries in their waters or in international waters.

Now we're just the thug.

We're just beating people up, bullying them around, murdering them in plain sight, assassinating folks without any due process.

Cool, dude.

I mean, listen, I realize we do this a lot.

We did this in Afghanistan.

We did it in Iraq.

We did it in Saudi Arabia.

We probably do it a lot of other places we don't talk about, right?

But this seems like a very ballsy move and probably, likely, a prelude to what?

To declaring war on Venezuela so that Trump and Stephen Singer, whatever his name is, Stephen Miller.

Stephen Singer, that's jewelry, guys.

Sorry, Stephen Singer.

I'm sure you make great jewelry.

Stephen Miller can do exactly what they want to do, which is deport people en masse to what end?

I don't know.

To what end?

To having millions of people not showing up to work anymore?

Millions of day labor.

There are 1.2 million people that are out of the workforce right now.

Because they got scared and they left.

Oh, and let me address one thing

while we're on the topic.

Someone, I believe, there are a couple of people, but one of our listeners, I believe, is a listener of Venezuelan descent.

Some people the other day, last week, I think

when we ran the TCB Classic, or maybe it was on Wednesday during the canned episode, when we were out sick, a number of people rode in upset, very upset, because they heard Christy Noem, the

brilliant Homeland Security

OnlyFans model that runs our Homeland Security,

ran an ad in our show, or an an ad got run in our show, where she is directing immigrants to get out of our country,

or she will get you out of our country.

It's a threatening ad.

I went online, I found it, I listened to it, I hate it, I hate everything about it.

And believe me, we have talked to the people who control the ads that go into the show.

Sometimes it is like literally 100% out of our control.

We've already asked for these ads not to be in our show a long time ago, but sometimes they do slip through.

But I was just as pissed as you were.

And I believe that someone that is Venezuelan texted to let us know this.

They were very upset.

And you can understand why they're particularly sensitive to this bullshit, as there has been a scorched earth campaign against Venezuelans for now three fucking years from one orange dipshit.

It's crazy.

And his and his lackeys.

It's crazy.

They're going to start blowing up boats coming out of Venezuela.

They're going to declare war, declaring that there's some drug war, drug, you know, narco war going on with Venezuela's narco-government.

I don't know.

Maybe that's true.

Maybe Madero does have a narco-state going on.

Maybe that's true.

But

I think it seems like convenient timing to meet Chrissy.

And

it's really fucking scary.

Is this the country you want to live in?

Is this what you want to do?

Is this what we want to be known for?

It's just run around the world and start blowing people up because we don't like them and we have an agenda.

That's a thing.

That's a thing

if there had been a boat coming out of venezuela with a bunch of drugs and they had like bazookas and they were

had threatened to you know land on my land in miami and start blowing up buildings and spreading their drugs to the schools if there was like a plot a plan and this is the only way to stop them great and i don't know all the details and neither do you but at the end of the day this seems to be an agenda driven

yeah it's very convenient very convenient I mean, with no additional follow-up information.

Who were they?

What were they doing?

Did you find the drugs?

Did you go out there and chase after some bindles of cocaine?

And let's be honest about it.

Let's be honest about it.

I'm pretty sure that there's plenty of people in the administration where that cocaine was headed directly to them.

Do you know what I'm saying?

It's like that cocaine was headed directly to some people in Washington.

You know it was.

You know it was.

Well, I mean, I remember hearing about that first,

the first four years that he was in office, how there were people, there was like a doctor on hand

to prescribe the uppers and the downers and the all the

anxiety medications everything that everybody needed just to get through a day yes that's ronnie jackson who is now a house member and he's also the the doctor who just recently came out and said trump's in perfect health never better could live to 200 and it's like oh come on man

you have you they took your medical license away because you were handing out xanax and percocet on Air Force One to anybody who asked.

I mean, don't get me wrong.

I'd love to have a doctor like that here at the commercial break.

Dr.

Feelgood?

Yeah, Dr.

Feelgood.

Ronnie, come work for the commercial break.

But since you're not, I mean, what a joke.

Honestly.

It's wild.

It's all wild.

If you're not thinking about this,

if your head...

isn't a little bit on a swivel right now.

I don't know where your head is at.

I mean, I don't know.

Yeah, there's only so long you can just

bury your head in the sand.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And pretend that everything's just turning out all right.

It's not going to turn out all right if we, if like some guardrails aren't put on this whole administration.

I don't know what else happens.

Because it's a Venezuelan boat today.

It's your favorite podcast tomorrow.

Happy, happy joy, joy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What were we talking about at the beginning of the show?

Oh, yeah, my friend who does porn now.

God bless you, child.

God bless you.

Yeah.

Best to you.

Hey, listen, I ain't got no problem.

I honestly have no problem.

It just surprised me.

I was just,

I just was like, wow, okay.

Where are they now?

Yeah.

They're in porn.

You know, I knew this, when I spent time down in Costa Rica, there was like this.

Lovely woman who hung around the whole group.

And over the years of visiting down there, I became friendly with her.

And

then someone pulled me aside and just said, Hey, word of warning: if you're going to go in that direction, you better have stamina

because she's an adult star.

And I was like, Oh, really?

And then I found out

she's like a, yeah, like a real deal adult.

And then I got scared.

I always get scared.

I got scared.

All right, 212-433-3TCB.

212-433-3822.

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How much more exciting could it get, Chrissy?

Not much.

Not much.

Okay, I guess that's all I can do for now.

I think so.

I'll tell you that I love you.

I love you.

Best of you.

Best to you.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say.

Goodbye.

Honey, bunches of votes is the forma perfecto den pezadena conto familia.

Conoju las crucientes and verdad qualos les encantas.

Ademas delicios trosos de granola nuces y fruta que todos van adis brutad.

Honey punches devotes para todos.

Tokal bener para sabermás.

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