TCB Classic: WWZD??

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I walked in the door to grab a latte.

I paid $10, heard Arianne a grandee.

But then I saw him and his big doll.

I felt my knees weak.

Here came the brain fall.

And though I'm not gay,

you make me feel that way.

I hope it never ends.

My My new Starbucks boyfriend.

All my toes curl, all the feels come.

My world of gold, you are my shining sun.

We love to talk sports and swim in pools.

You like the patio, I like the bar stools.

And we spill tea and we throw shade.

The other tables might think we're gay.

I don't really care, I I hope it never ends You're my best Starbucks boyfriend

And though we're still straight

You make me feel a certain way

I hope it never ends

My new Starbucks boyfriend

And though I'm not gay

You make me feel that way.

I hope it never ends.

My new Starbucks boyfriend.

And though I'm not gay,

you make me feel away.

I hope it never ends.

My new Starbucks boyfriend.

On this episode of the Commercial Break.

In honor of the upcoming WWZD event, I felt it was only right as we take our fall break to get you prepped for an experience unlike any other.

And if you're not familiar with WWZD, what in the fuck have you been doing with your life?

WWZD is an event put on by Zahn Perignon.

And the double W's plus the ZD is an acronym for what would Zahn Do.

And starting on the 29th of this month, you can spend an entire week with Zahn in a quote-unquote entirely experiential event where you will learn the art of seducing a woman.

I'm not sure Zahn's learned the art of seducing a woman, but if this is how you want to waste your hard-earned cash, far be it from me.

I've certainly certainly spent more on worse.

Let me give you a little quote from the website here.

The WWZD live experience is an amazing, interactive, and deeply experiential week where you, a small cohort of compatriots, small being the underlying word, beautiful models, and I will practice together, play together, and break bread together.

I couldn't think of anything I would rather not do.

One of the classes you will get to be entertained by is named Her Secret Garden, quote unquote.

It's the art of conspiracy and metaphorically metaphorically sneaking through the window into her secret garden magnificent and so much fun says zon it's limited to just a few participants but i don't think zon's the one limiting that i think it's the participant and i couldn't find out any information on exactly where this is going to be held i imagine this is one of those let's put the horse before the cart and hey it's expensive to rent out those holiday in ball rooms you're gonna want to make sure you got enough sardines to pack in that can but zon does promise it'll be one of the most beautiful cities in the world how subjective and mysterious.

So for you today on a TCB Classic, I'm proud to republish one of the finer moments in TCB/slash Zahn history, my whatever chakra.

I-K-N-Y-K-D-Y.

If you know, you know.

And if you don't, you're about to find out.

We'll be back soon with fresh content.

Bye.

The next episode of the Commercial Break.

starts now.

The birthday in the morning!

Oh, yeah, Cast and Kittens.

Welcome back to the commercial break.

I'm Brian Green.

This is the beautiful co-host of the commercial break, Kristen Joy.

Holy best to you, Chrissy.

Best to you, Brian.

And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

I started talking before the microphones are on.

I was like, nah, that.

Professional organization, tip-top chip shop over here in Chick.

Yeah, it's running like a well-oiled machine.

Today, especially, we're just, we got it.

Dialed in.

Dialed in.

We're dialed into the phone number that doesn't work anymore.

Yeah, you know.

We'll get there.

We'll get there.

I'm almost ready to present a new phone number, but not quite yet.

We're having all kinds of technical misfires here at the commercial break, but we'll get there.

We'll get there.

I want to share that we had planned today, the day that we're recording this episode, we had planned not to record this episode.

We had planned to have a very special superstar guest for a TCB infomercial, and we could not get him for the life of us, could not get him into the actual studio

from the you know internet yeah technical issues i don't know what was going on it is a new moon today so maybe that has something to do with it oh well that's that explains that is the horse shit i was looking to excuse myself from

boom boom bam moon psyche i'm having my man moon psycha

I had some fippy-nippy bullshit that was on my Instagram and dig.

And it was like, have you been to a man-moon circle?

And I was like, a man-moon circle?

well yes i think i have actually i think i've been to two or three man moon circle two things to update about instagram they went to the word of the day number one i found more you remember i told you it was it was this you know i think it tina or you we talked about the instagram reel i saw where the old ladies were at a party and they were passing around a plate of cocaine no okay it was tina okay so i saw this reel It was, I'm assuming, somewhere in Western Europe.

Oh, you sent me the reel, though.

though.

Yes, and they were doing blow.

They were like old ladies sitting at a table, big party going on around them with lots of, you know, different age groups,

kids all the way up to very old folks.

The old ladies were sitting at a table and they were passing around a huge plate of cocaine.

And they were either sucking it in through their mouths.

And then, like, you could tell, they were like licking their lips and like rubbing their teeth, just as you would if you had done cocaine, or they were sucking it into their nose.

So either inhaling it or sniffing it.

I just guess it goes to the same place either way.

And then they showed them later on in the party.

They were moving, dancing like a

follow-up to that video.

There is a second part to that video where more old ladies at the same party are passing around that same plate of cocaine.

And I was like, this has got to be like Pablo Ascobar's family?

Yeah.

No,

no, I think these were Western European folks.

They almost look like, I don't want to say the word gypsy because someone wrote me and told me that was highly offensive.

I'm sorry.

I didn't know.

They have it on TLC.

I thought if it's on TLC, it must be safe to say on the TCB, but that's apparently not.

But they looked like

Western Europeaners, like, you know, travelers, something like that.

So.

Travelers.

What do you want me to say?

I can't say gypsies.

What do you want me to say?

I mean, I'm sorry if I offended anybody, but I thought that was a term that they use for themselves on the fucking television show.

Okay.

All right.

I'm going to calm down, though.

I understand it might be offensive to people, people, so I'm going to call them travelers, right?

That's what they look like.

Travelers.

Travelers.

I don't know.

Okay.

Okay.

So here we go.

And then I thought to myself, wow, this is either one big hoax video.

Yeah.

They're clearly sucking up sugar or something, baby lexative or whatever, or this is how you and I retire.

This is where we go to retire at the Western European travelers parties.

Where are are you going?

Traveling?

Yes, traveling.

Travel to the parties where they just fund out free cocaine

to old people.

And I thought to myself, why the fuck not?

Why the fuck not?

Good for you.

This made, honestly, Chrissy, part of the whole teen of this.

It made me think about drug use in an entirely different way.

You do the drugs when you're young.

Test them out.

See how they go.

See if you're one of those people that are going to, you know, die on the side of the street or manage to pull through.

And then you do them when you're very old.

Okay.

Very young, very old.

Because when you're old, what the fuck do you have to lose?

You might as well have a party.

Yeah.

Now, my luck, I take one little, I start sucking it because I got congestion now because of the young cocaine abuse I did.

But I suck that first line and I plop down right there, Widowmaker, right?

Or, or we have a really good time.

We go to a man-moon cycle and we get it done.

And then number two on Instagram, I wanted to share with you is that because of these hippie-dippy shit that I follow sometimes, sometimes to laugh at, and then sometimes I actually

80 hippies in a big circle.

I'm assuming Costa Rica, Colombia.

Nope, not on the beach, but that would have been nice in the forest, in the rainforest, somewhere.

It was one of those.

And they were doing the ayahuasca ceremony.

They all had the ayahuasca cups, and they were all sucking it up.

So the beginning is they're, you know, chanting to the new man-moon cycle or whatever.

oh, boy, baby,

you know, oh,

whatever.

They slurped down that nasty ass drink of ayahuasca.

And then fat, then the quick cut.

Now they're all out in the middle of the rainforest, tripping their brains out, throwing up.

And it was reminded me.

Who was filming this?

The one guy who did not do ayahuasca that day.

Yes.

The one guy who was like, yeah, I'm good.

That's me.

Yeah, that would be me.

I'm going to wait and see what happens.

Listen, Listen, I'm going to let you finish.

But before you do, I'm really cool with whatever you guys are about to do.

Let me step back and film it for posterity's sake.

You're going to want to see yourself screaming like a howler monkey because you're dying a thousand deaths on the inside, throwing up blood out your nose.

I'm just going to be here filming it for Instagram because that's what you're doing.

You're going to pop it up on Instagram.

Yeah.

Nothing like going through an ayahuasca ceremony to make sure it gets on Instagram.

Yes.

Unbelievable.

Otherwise, you didn't do it.

Yeah.

Picks or it didn't happen.

Isn't that what they say?

Receipts, it didn't happen.

Yeah.

Word of the day.

Oh, the word of the day today.

Are you ready?

I think.

You ask me that a lot.

Are you ready?

Are you ready?

Like, I guess.

Yes.

You're going to do it anyways, right?

Yeah, you're going to do it anyways.

Why would I know?

It was Dwende.

Dwinde?

Dwende.

Dwinde.

Dwende.

Dwende.

Dwende.

D-U-E-N-D-E.

Yes, that is the alternate.

That is the Greek word for Mondays.

Do I get to the end of the day?

Shortened to duende.

I like that.

Thank you.

Okay, use it in the sentence.

Let me see if I can actually get the real meaning of it.

The duende behind his song comes from nature.

The inspiration behind that song comes from nature.

Inspiration.

Inspirado.

Inspirado.

Why don't you come to your senses?

Quality of passion and inspiration.

There you go.

That's it.

You've been riding my fences.

Sorry.

That song will now be in my head for the rest of the day.

Great song.

What a great song.

Desperado.

Desperado.

Why don't you come to your senses?

You've been out riding fences for so long now.

Riding fences.

Never got it, but sounds, you know.

Is that what it says?

Yeah, but

riding fences or making fences or something.

I don't know.

You're out making fences.

You're out making fences

because you're high on that meth.

You better come down

and get some good naps in you.

I got some Mountain Dew and Dwenda.

What is it, Dwenda?

Dwende.

Dwende.

Desper

Desperado.

desperado lyrics.

Let's see here.

Oh, desperado lyrics.

Let me make sure that I get this one right.

Lyrics.

Because now I'm thinking to myself, I don't know if he says riding fences.

I don't think he does, but maybe.

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?

You've been out riding fences

for so long now.

Oh, you're a hard one.

I think this is about sex.

But I know that you've got your reasons.

These things that are pleasing can hurt you somehow.

This is about riding a dildo.

I'm sure of it now.

Or you remember that one episode that we did with the people who want to have sex with inanimate objects?

There was a fence in the field.

Yes, there was.

You are so correct about that.

Your memory hasn't gone yet.

Your memory hasn't gone yet.

I can't remember where I put my chapstick five minutes ago.

Oh, that is the worst.

I am terrible.

I have 15 chapsticks and I can never find one

When I go to get one, I have to keep one.

I know.

I have to keep one here just so I don't forget where I forgot to forget it.

Exactly.

I forgot where I forgot I put that thing.

I mean, I'm forgetting my forgetting now.

You know what I'm saying?

I'll forget something.

I'll go looking for it.

And then I can't find it.

But then I forget what I'm looking for.

I'm like, I forgot what I'm forgetting.

It's unbelievable.

I'm like, I'm going like.

I hear you.

I'm going three levels deep into forgetting.

And it's really sad.

And why does that happen?

I don't know.

I feel like COVID has something to do with it.

I'm going to blame it on COVID.

I like to blame it on COVID too.

I think I have that long COVID brain fog.

Or it just accelerated my already intense brain fog.

All right, let's do some headlines.

Universal music group pulling the entire catalog from TikTok.

Did you hear this one?

I did not.

According to the Morning Brew, the biggest hurdle to get it,

excuse me, when future archaeologists find the TikTok catalog, they're going to be so bored watching the post-Barbie homages to girlhood without the haunting Billie Eilish song.

Universal Music Group, UMG, which is a music label for huge artists like Eilish, Taylor Swift, and Drake, said it would pull its catalog from the platform after failing to negotiate a new contract with TikTok.

The app's nearly 1.4 billion users should start to hear the change today.

That was two weeks ago now that I'm reading this, so it may have changed.

You heard it last.

Heard it here last on the commercial break.

The commercial break.

The change will be happening today in songs and videos as the old contract expired at midnight.

This was February.

This is like February 3rd.

This happened.

So what happens if you're looking at a TikTok that had one of these songs that's been pulled?

Is it just silence?

Yeah, I think it gets pulled automatically.

I mean, I don't know for sure, but I imagine that's how licensing works.

Like you can't then continue to gain views if you don't have a contract for those views to be played on music, to be played with that music.

The biggest hurdle of getting a new deal was royalty payments.

UMG accused TikTok of building a music-based business without paying fair value for that music.

That comes after the app reportedly brought in nearly $20 billion in ad revenue last year.

Wow, that's insane.

Online safety concerns, worries that TikTok isn't doing enough to protect artists from AI

are some of the other issues UMG

discussed.

The company pushed back.

TikTok is sweating this issue, saying that

there's a false narrative from UMG.

It reached an artist-first deal with other labels, but this could represent a major snag in TikTok's future music plans, especially after it launched TikTok music back in 21 in some countries, including Ireland, Australia, and Mexico.

They did that to take on Spotify and Apple Music.

Listen, they already have the established user base

to become the place and to become the place to listen to music because everyone's familiar with the app.

It's right there at their fingertips.

They don't have to deal with that fucking Apple turning on every goddamn time you turn on your car.

And still happening to me today.

I know.

Yeah.

The line of language.

I know.

You want to know?

I'm like, I listened to that like three months ago.

Why?

I know.

It's so random.

It's so random, but once it gets stuck, it just keeps playing the same song.

And then all of a sudden sudden, it'll play a new song.

You know what it's playing in me now?

Playing in me.

You know what's playing in me now?

What's the Dewinde?

What's the Dewinde?

The Dewinde is: I Googled, or I excuse me, on Apple Music, I searched for a remix of that Creed song because I was going to play it.

So now

I've got that, you know, whatever that was from the other day.

Oh, my God.

I can't stand it.

I'm going six feet under.

Maybe six feet under.

Ain't that far?

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Drop the creed.

Drop the creed.

You know, they're a Christian band who didn't intend to be Christian, but now we're Christian, don't you?

She got all the young ones up in arms.

I think this is a big deal for TikTok because I think part of the allure of TikTok

is the music.

And so many artists.

A lot of people do dancing things.

And so many artists have broke

big on breaking bad.

Essentially on TikTok.

And when you can't then distribute your music.

We broke big.

Broke big.

We broke big

on the backs of nobody's music.

On the backs of 33p,

owned by no catalog company.

Call me TikTok.

Hey, UMG, I'm ready to strike a deal.

I hear you and TikTok are on the outs.

What about TCB music?

The lime on the Lamb.

Now, from UMG, the people who brought you music on TikTok, comes the unbelievable TCB music

with such classic favorites as The Lion and the Lamb

and Sonny Side Up.

And you've been outriding fans

for so long now.

I think we probably put a good catalog together.

The only place to get all your favorite music, TCB music.

Listen to these classic songs.

Fiddle diddle doodle adle.

Who can forget Sunny Side Up?

Sonny Daddy Up

or Dying in the Grass.

She was dying in the grass.

Don't forget this Pearl Jam classic.

The way Dendro Me Mad.

All your forgettable favorite forgettable songs live on TCB Music.

Hey, it's better than Apple Parkway.

We've sung quite a few songs on this, on this show, I think.

None of them remarkably well, but you know, hey, why not?

Do a little diddy.

Who can forget Rigatoni?

Got your lover, got, got your lover.

Making pasta, rig, rigatoni.

Yeah.

Yah, man.

That poor bastard.

I know.

You may go.

There's an episode of the commercial rig called Rigatony.

Reggae Tony.

Reggie Tony.

Yeah, like reggae, and then the, and then the name Tony.

It's probably episode.

I don't know.

It's got to be in the first 50 episodes.

We were reviewing bad music

auditions.

And there was one from, I think it was American Idol,

maybe in Europe somewhere.

Two guys come up.

They look perfectly normal, perfectly like decent human beings.

But this is back in the late 90s, I think, early 2000s, something like that.

It's from a long time ago.

And the judges are like, Okay, what are you going to sing?

And the guy's like, Well, I'm going to sing a song we actually made up ourselves.

And he's like, Oh, okay, great.

And the guy, one of the guys, starts off lovely.

It's a lovely

song.

Yeah, he's like, I wanna take you home, I won't leave you.

And the judges are looking till they're like, Oh, oh, wow, this guy.

And then Rega Tony, the guy standing next to him doing nothing for the first six verses of the song, is like, Let you down, girl, get you, get your down, girl.

Lick, you vova, lick, lick, yo vova.

Yeah, yaman.

Come on now.

He starts like doing this reggae rap in the background, completely destroying any chances of the other guy to get in.

And it was just so fucking funny.

I wish we could have those guys on.

You know, whatever happened to Regga Tony?

That's what I want to know.

Did they break big on TikTok or are they headed straight for TCB-

I think the latter may be true.

The latter is probably true because it's not hard to break it big here.

We'll literally take anybody.

As long as you can figure out how to get on

our hosting system, we'll be happy to have you as a guest.

Yeah, so I think big deal for Universal and TikTok.

I probably imagine by the time this airs, they've already figured it out.

Figured it out.

Yeah.

But it's a big deal even to pull it for just a couple of weeks because you're right.

So many of those TikTok fads are around dancing and dancing to very popular music, not like, you know.

But I wonder how much an artist gets paid per view

on TikTok.

I don't know.

It's got to be

thousandths of a penny.

Yeah.

Because

when you are on Spotify,

yeah, when you're on Spotify,

Taylor Swift made like, what, like $100 million on Spotify in 2023 or something like that?

Like the, she was the most popular artist.

And then there's Bad Bunny.

He was the second most popular artist.

And I think he made like, you know, $93 million or whatever it is.

But they had billions of plays of their songs.

So if you're the average artist, like 33 Penis or Chopper

Johnson, and you're getting, you know, I don't know for me, tens of plays every month.

But let's say you're getting hundreds of thousands of plays every month.

You aren't making any money on Spotify.

You might be getting an $80 check from them.

And someone's listened to your music hundreds of thousands of times.

I can understand why you'd be upset because if you had to go to Turtles Music and buy a CD to listen.

Yeah, you'd pay $29.99 or whatever.

At the beginning, it was $19.99.

By the end, it was like $29.99 for a CD, an entire album's worth of music.

But there was a good chance.

that the artist actually saw some cut of that two or three dollars from every sale.

So if you sold hundreds of thousands, let's say there was hundreds of thousands of people generating those hundreds of thousands of views.

There's hundreds of of thousands of people buying your music.

If I do my quick math,

you're making $57 million

per CD.

That's good math.

I carried the one this time.

That's good math.

So I do think this is a big deal.

And of course, UMG is trying to get their take, and TikTok doesn't want to pay as much, but they made $20 billion last year.

Is it really a big deal to cut off an extra billion to the artists who are making your platform so popular?

But you know what they say.

You know what they say?

TikTok is a Chinese-owned application, and the Chinese are known to be the toughest negotiators in the world, except for me.

I am also the toughest negotiator in the world.

If you

want me to lose money, all you have to do is negotiate with me.

I will make it tough for myself to make any money in a negotiation.

That's how I roll.

Buy high, sell low.

That's your motto.

Yes, that's right.

Okay, Brian, we've come to the conclusion that your catalog is worth $10,000.

Well, I've come to the conclusion that I'll sell it to you for $3,000.

Not a penny less.

And not a penny more.

Okay, we'll check our math real quick on this one.

Yep, I'm getting universal consent here.

I'm going behind my manager's back to make myself an even worse deal.

Okay, I'm checking in the boardroom here.

Yes, we all agree.

$3,000 and not a penny more.

$1,000.

I thought we agreed on three.

Well, now I want one.

Okay, we'll go down to one.

I just need it in cash right now.

Yes.

I'll take $58,

and I want you to PayPal it to me immediately.

Okay.

What about $30 and we'll cover the PayPal fee?

$27.

Okay, that's a good deal.

Can you sign the contract?

I already signed it.

I crossed out $10,000.

I put $7.27.

You've already sent it to me to sign, too.

Chrissy, just sign this.

I mean, did you sign it?

Take a picture.

Get it back to me.

Quick.

Quick, quick, quick.

So we cannot get paid for three months.

I need you to make that check payable to Georgia Power

to Verizon Wireless Cell Phone Services.

Phone.com.

Phone.com.

Oh,

yeah.

Well,

you know, in life, you're good at some stuff.

You're not good at others.

In some ways.

That's why you hire somebody else to do all the tough talking for you.

All right, we'll take a break.

We'll be back.

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB.

It's pretty simple.

Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute.

Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command.

Do you want to help Astrid too?

You know you do.

Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

You can be on the show too.

Just call and say something.

Anything.

Or text us and we'll text you right back.

Promise.

Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker.

It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide.

You get the point.

Follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break and watch all the episodes on video at youtube.com slash thecommercial break.

Best to you and Astrid.

Especially Astrid.

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Hi, I'm Nancy Cartwright.

You may know me better as the voice of Bart Simpson.

On Simpsons Declassified, we're diving into the mysteries that keep The Simpsons forever young.

Have you ever wondered how The Simpsons regularly predicts future events?

Who better to ask than the show's creators, performers, and writers?

The celebrity guests.

Be sure to follow and listen to Simpsons Declassified wherever you get your podcasts.

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Do you remember I was telling you about how,

or maybe I'll tell you this off-air, John Anthony lifestyle, the poi that we have talked about many times on this show, who pickup artists, pickup artist, who was just like a terrible human being in general, based on his videos, was a terrible human being.

He couldn't even remember the name of the girl that supposedly had, you know, been running around town grabbing threesomes with him.

Yeah.

Couldn't even remember, couldn't be bothered to remember a name.

He was picking up girls at the mall, at the jewelry stand, all kind of crazy shit.

Starbucks, all kind of crazy shit.

He is turning a corner on his channels.

I've just been watching some of his videos, and he has been turning a corner.

He is now a critic of other Pois.

He is

a guy who's just going straight at other PUAs for their techniques and their tactics, saying they're misogynistic and they're bad and they never work.

I mean, it's quite the kettle calling, it's quite the kettle calling the pot black.

I'm not even sure how that saying goes.

It's quite the kettle calling the q-tip white.

And I'm just saying that for.

That's a good new one.

Thank you.

And I'm saying that from the perspective of a guy who knows not anything about picking up women.

But

I know that these tactics don't work.

I'm smart enough to know that.

I've got enough fucking common sense in my head to understand that this stuff just doesn't work under any circumstance.

I mean, maybe every once in a while.

Even a blind squirrel.

That's a nut.

Even a blind squirrel.

makes his way to a tree.

Even a blind squirrel gets a strawberry every once in a while.

And so I just can't believe the corner this guy is turning.

He's trying to make himself more presentable.

Yeah.

And I think it's generally because there's been a big backlash online about POAS and their bullshittery.

It doesn't make sense.

It probably was never going to work.

It's taking advantage of guys who are obviously in vulnerable positions and are willing to do anything just to find some company, which I don't feel bad for the POAS.

I feel bad for the guys in the audience.

And I don't.

That are paying money.

to go through these programs.

These programs are these guys that get wrapped up with Andrew Tate and his fucking money, money.

You know, his scam kingdom or whatever it is.

They're paying really good money.

They're paying like thousands of dollars to get these courses that are 30 minutes long and include guys like John Anthony.

talking about making out with three women at the same time.

That doesn't help them get women.

It just makes you feel better about yourself, John Anthony lifestyle.

I'm keeping an eye on you, bud.

I don't believe a fucking word you say.

And I think if the money was in the Pois community, you would be back with them in a heartbeat.

Well, you're seeing the tide turn and you have enough common sense up in this noggin of yours to to turn that corner with them so you also don't get the shit end of this.

What's he doing now?

He's like reviewing all of the pois on it.

All for money.

Oh, he's still doing the same thing.

He's still going to coach you.

He's just,

he just slyly puts it in there while he's criticizing other pois.

He tells you that he's the better Pois, right?

But he's taking a little bit more of a soft touch.

Okay.

So he's doing these breakdown videos like we do of other Pois.

And to be fair, I mean, not to be fair, to be fair to us, John Anthony started doing these breakdown videos of other PWAs, suspiciously after we started breaking down John Anthony's Pois videos.

I'm not saying he did it because we did it.

I'm saying that it's in trend, and I think he's just following the trends, like a lot of influencers do, exactly like we do.

When it's trendy to talk about something, four and a half years later, we'll catch up to it.

We just learned there was a pandemic.

You want to talk about it?

Trump won.

He won.

So

last time we did a breakdown, and I noticed that John is now going after the 21 Convention.

Oh, the one that we reviewed a little while back.

Yes.

Where the other guy, who's the other guy?

Adam

Warrior.

So there are many, many guys that talk about the 21 Convention.

The 21 Convention, in and of itself, the 21 group.

It's legendary.

It's legendary.

It's still out there.

They get at least 50 to 60 views per YouTube video.

They are really doing what they get as many views as we do on our YouTube videos.

Come on, guys.

Watch a YouTube video.

Is that really that hard?

Could you do a favor for us, please?

Pretty, please.

I will literally pay you $1,000

to watch 10 minutes of my video.

I got to up that average watch time from one second to seven seconds.

So the 21 Convention apparently is a big deal in this community, and it's a whole lifestyle.

Like, it's not just about.

Of course it is.

Yeah, it's not just about picking up women.

It's about being a man and asserting yourself and taking control of the family.

Having the right lighting.

Yeah, having the right lighting.

Lamps.

The lamps.

I like lamps.

I like lamps.

So I went back and I watched some of the videos at the 21 Convention and I found a very interesting segment about what it takes to have that masculine energy that women really want.

This guy is a one of a kind.

I don't know if he came from the party in the woods or if he came from the Poix community.

I think he's a good mix of alien light language and the Pois community.

I thought we'd take a look at him.

What?

Spiritualness.

I think that's what he's trying to go for.

I'm not sure with any effect, but

pay for effort.

The man-moon cycle.

Man-moon cycle.

Just go for the man-moon cycle.

The man-moon cycle.

But I found it interesting enough that we should review here at the commercial break, which is a low bar, by the way.

But okay, there we go.

So I was trolling on the internet.

As you do.

As I do like to do.

And I'm ready, just so you know.

Okay.

Yeah.

You're answering me before I ask.

We've gotten to that point.

We're like an old married couple.

Finish each other's sentences.

All right, let's take a listen to what it takes to get that masculine energy that women are so attracted to.

Okay.

What I tried to capture in here.

His name is Zan Peronin.

Oh, right.

Is that Perionin?

What's his name?

I don't know, whatever.

Zahn.

He probably says it's Zahn.

Zahn.

Zahn.

What I tried to capture in here, and it's so powerful, I tried to write about the energy of men who women adore.

They get a free pass.

I tried to write about what is it, what do they have?

What is the qualities that they have?

What is the spirit that they have?

Why is he holding his pants like Michael Jackson?

I hate guys who hold their belt button up like that.

Yeah, that makes them look like you know, their dick's about to pop out of their pants.

They gotta keep it in.

Yeah, I gotta keep it in.

He's wearing an entirely too small gray shirt.

A t-shirt.

Yeah, his dad bought all over the place.

He's got a Fu Man Chu and a scruffy, way too wide goatee.

This guy's got a look.

It's like,

I could have been Johnny Depp,

but I went to Krispy Kreme instead.

You know what I'm saying?

I could have been the Johnny Depp of plus.

Yeah, but

I'm not going to make fun of teeth because, you know, teeth are not something you can control.

He's got a gray V-neck shirt on, dad bot in full effect, and then he's holding his belt buckle.

He's got quite a few bracelets and necklaces.

As if his anaconda is about to slip out of the Amazon.

And ring.

Oh, yeah.

He's jewelry up.

That's a thing.

That's a thing with guys.

More rings

like me.

The more bracelets you wear, the more pussy you get.

There's an equation there somewhere.

And you know,

if you start from here, which is the center of gravity as a man here, I don't want to.

It's not the center of gravity for a woman, also.

He's pointing to his chest.

Okay.

Yep.

He looks like he's about to kung fu us all into paying more money.

About chakras, but if you do, imagine your center, whatever, chest, heart chakra.

You start from an energy force from here as a man, okay?

I like when you go to talk about the chakras and you say, whatever,

whatever.

Yeah, whatever it's called.

I've studied it for 3,000 years.

I am the last of the kung fu chakras.

Or whatever.

I was literally given my chakras by the Dalai Lama himself.

But I can't remember what it's called.

Whatever.

Onward and upward.

You paid good money to be here.

Look at this Samsung TV behind me.

They don't even have a screen.

Like, you know, you go to a convention and they have the big screens behind them.

Yeah, those big complicated setups with the stage and the lighting.

Nope.

They don't spend money on frilly shit here at the 21 Convention.

They're just going to go get a Walmart.

Yep.

Please don't take it out of the wrapping.

You know, the little wrap that comes around it, a little plastic wrapping.

This is incredibly important.

You start from here like this.

Your energy as a man moves out into the world from here.

And it goes

up

and out.

Like a breath?

Just like my dick.

Just like my dick.

there it is do it with me yeah there it is there it was there's my energy right on the floor

roiling around

roiling around screaming thank god

i was stuck in his dick chakra or whatever

it goes like this

And it's a beautiful masculine energy.

This is you being charming, being humorous, being inviting, being gracious this is you saying would you like some more wine this is you saying hey can i get your whoa all that from your whatever chakra

i didn't know your whatever chakra was in charge of getting people wine but that's awesome

you'd like some more wine hey whatever chakra let's get to action what do you need uh let's ask her if she wants some more wine

Or maybe one of those pigs in a blanket?

Those are really good.

Yeah, whatever, chakra, get to work.

All right, all right, can we come up with a name, please?

Whatever chakra sounds kind of shitty to the other chakras.

I'm here talking to the anus chakra.

And he says he's got a name, Amos Chakra.

All right, whatever, chakra, get to work.

Vote for you.

This is you telling a joke.

And this is you, hey guys, nice to meet you.

This is a great, beautiful, upper energy, masculine beauty.

Charm, empathy,

sympathy.

Whatever.

Humor, all these beautiful.

Just breathe.

by the way I didn't know that was masculine energy just to be polite

yeah I thought polite was being polite empathy yeah empathy

that's masculine I'm sorry I've got my whatever chakra turned off

fuck you qualities of man

comes from here and moves out into the world imagine you're on a job interview

everything about you is high

You're sitting across the table from the interview.

Yes, I did this.

And even your eye contact is high.

You can feel it, right?

You're like lifting, you're straight up as an an arrow.

That should be high, too.

I am so fucked up, man.

We're ready to go kill this interview?

I got those dibbity dabs right in my whatever chakra.

Let's go.

I'm gonna jizz out my energy.

I'm just gonna jizz it out onto the floor.

Up and out, up and out, just like the dick chakra.

Yes, and yeah.

And I did this, and yeah, and everything is high energy, and it's a beautiful energy.

It's a beautiful masculine energy.

And it's needed.

Okay?

Is that the floor about to break?

Imagine from the same set.

Yep.

The whole room that they're in is about to collapse.

But whatever.

Whatever.

Yeah.

You paying good money.

I got my belt buckle on.

It's my superhero belt buckle.

As long as I keep touching it, we're all in good space, buddy.

Gravity here.

Your same heart

or originating place.

It's got that same heart.

Is that a different heart.

Yeah.

Do you have any cue cards or anything?

Did you think about memorizing this before you came on?

Your heart.

He's trying to say chakra, but he can't remember.

He's like, the originating place.

Originating place.

You know, your center of gravity.

Center of gravity.

Not your center of gravity, you shit for brains.

There's an equal counterbalancing energy that is necessary to be a man.

This is your dick energy.

Dick dick energy.

Your dick chakra.

Hi, Brian.

Finally, we get to be wide 3000.

My little 33P, that's right.

Shut up, whatever.

Shut up, you whatever, chakra.

Hey, man, I'm just up here trying to get some wine.

Get some wine for the bitches so they can get drunk and I can get to screw it.

Yeah,

Wybrian3000.

I literally got bottles and bottles slipping on my dick.

I am driven with Wine Brian 3000.

Hey, settle down, be polite.

Fuck you, whatever, chakra.

Hey, if you don't settle down, I'm going to tell Brian you said fuck.

Fuck you.

I'm the new center of gravity around here.

I'm on the floor banging bitches and having fun.

You are so rude.

God damn right, I'm rude.

That's how you get the ladies.

I thought it was being polite.

He's lying to everybody.

He just wants another thousand dollars.

An energy that goes down

and out into the world.

God damn right, we go down, down into the interior of the vulva.

Oh my god, you're so rude.

Fuck off!

I will not.

I will not.

It's low on the floor.

He vibrates.

There's a vibration.

Can you feel the vibration?

Coming from the floor?

It's the floor collapsing.

Can you feel the vibration?

This Holiday Inexpress is about to fold.

I didn't think this was going to be this much fun, but I love it now.

Everything's about his lower.

Your voice is lower.

Everything's lower.

This is your sexual

desire.

He's pointing like he's

revealing

something

that

no one's ever said before.

He's fucking

Sir Olivier

doing Shakespeare.

He's like,

this is your dick energy.

Do you see it?

Do you see my dick energy?

It's coming from the floor.

It's coming from the floor.

It's about to rumble up.

What if he just had like a huge erection?

It's time to show.

Oh, yeah.

That's what he was holding his bell buckle for.

That's right.

Put that center of gravity back in your little heart cavity or whatever.

We're going to now vibrate the floor with our balls.

Bing, bang, bing, bang.

Fee five foe.

Here comes my dick right in your bum.

Which in the West is a bad thing.

Toxic.

You rapist.

Whoa, what?

What?

I don't think you're a rapist because you have sexual energy.

Right?

Right?

All right.

Am I right?

Right?

Was I right with the rape thing?

Am I right?

He's trying to build a bunch of people.

Is that what I'm saying?

Yeah.

The whole audience is probably like, oh, Jesus Christ.

My mom told me not to come to this, so I shouldn't listen to her.

This is you wanting to bend the world over.

This is you seeing a heart-shaped ass say, I like this.

I like that.

God damn, right.

Now we're talking turkey.

This is you looking at a fat fat ass going god damn hard shaped ass hard shaped I don't care what shape it is really.

I don't have eyes.

I'm just a dick chocker

That's your it's and I tell you this it's

it's given to you by God

you fail

God women men society everything when you like

Block off that energy, which we all do.

You fail God, women, men, and society.

Exactly.

Right.

Why do we have to get God involved?

Shut up, whatever, Chakra.

You can crush your little soul.

He is all over the place.

He is.

He's not using his center of gravity right now.

Just settle down.

I'll get it back to him.

My goddamn balls, you will.

Let the tiger loose, you know what I'm saying?

I do not know what you're saying.

I told you to fuck off.

Fuck off.

Society has been taught: you eyes front, respectful, don't have any kind of this sexual energy at all.

And it's wrong.

It's wrong.

No one's saying don't have any sexual energy.

No one said don't have any sexual energy.

You're taking it to the extreme.

This is what all I've been watching some more recent 21 conventions, and this is what they all say.

There's one guy that I watch on a video.

He could not say, he could not have said fuck more

in his conversation.

He was like, fucking fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking men, fucking, fucking, fucking women, fuck, fuck, fuck.

And I was like, wow, that's, that's super intelligent conversation right there.

Sorry, I was just getting a phone call from someone I owe money to.

And

they're all like so angry because they think that this is how society has told them to be.

That's not

the truth.

That's true.

Yes, they do not.

Society generally does not want you going around raping people.

That's not the point.

They're not asking you to not be sexual.

As a matter of fact, I think we could use a little bit more sexual energy out there in the right way.

But just because you have a dick doesn't mean you don't have control over your dick.

And that's the point.

And he's playing into it.

He's saying that everyone thinks you're a rapist just because you have a dick.

That's not true.

That is not true.

Saying to men that they don't have control over their own bodies is bullshit.

And it is proliferating the problem, not fixing the problem, my opinion, right?

And guys like this are just playing into it left and right.

So that was my serious talk for the day.

Go get back to the dick chopper.

Sure, I I know, I agree.

I know.

You don't like it when Brian gets all fluffed.

All right, okay.

But first, a break.

We'll be back.

Well, you know,

a break.

Generally, taking a break pretty soon.

I'm pretty soon taking a break.

You make this rather snappy, won't you?

I have somebody heavy thing to do before 10 o'clock.

Hi, cats and kittens.

Rachel here.

Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian?

Well, I've got just the place for you to do that.

212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

Feel free to call and yell all you want.

Tell Brian I need a race.

Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans.

Or tell us a little story.

The juicier, the better, by the way.

We'd love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves.

Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the Commercial Break on Insta, TCB Podcast on TikTok.

And for those of you who like to watch, oh, that came out wrong.

We put all the episodes out on video: youtube.com/slash the commercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look.

Okay, I gotta go now.

I've got a date with my dog.

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Okay, we're back just where you wanted to be today on your morning drive or your afternoon run or whatever, whenever you're listening to this at the 21 convention with Zawn.

Your sexual energy that moves on to the, it's like, it's kind of like bass that floats on the floor.

Boom, boom, boom.

And women can feel it.

They can feel it when their energy of in the energy of a man.

Drop the man.

Drop the dick chakra.

Drop your energy.

That's so stupid.

So stupid.

Just that sexual vibration that floats on the floor.

But here's the key.

And here's the key.

Obviously, this guy has never studied chakras.

Never.

He's happy to piggyfront off of it, but he's never learned about it.

You need both.

Both energies.

If you're only this upper energy guy, which all the dating advice out there, all the mainstream media, how to be more humorous, how to take Toastmasters, how to be tell a joke, how to be more tell storytelling.

Mainstream media.

Come to Yuckles dating class down on 955 Center Avenue.

We'll teach you how to tell jokes.

How to pull endless flowers out of your coat pocket.

And how to make coins magically appear behind girls' ears.

Nothing gets you line.

Nothing gets you laid like Chuckles.

So come on down to Chuckles Laugh Factory and dating advice.

He said yuckles.

Yuckles.

Hi, I'm Yuckles.

And I too used to struggle with dating just like you.

That's until I learned how to pull 14 people out of my clown car.

Now I'm getting pusse everywhere I go.

It's literally impossible to miss it.

I can put a blindfold on and end up with two children.

I'm getting so much pussy.

Don't listen to those other whatever chakra guys.

Come on down and you'll learn classics.

Like,

hey, what's that up your nose?

Oh, it's a fake rose.

What's on your shirt?

What?

Pull my finger.

Pull my finger.

Or the classic.

Let me give you a wedgie.

That's Yuckles.

Clown Show and Dating Advice at 555 Central Avenue.

Now under chapter 11.

Yuckles dating, clown show, and dating advice.

Clown school and dating advice.

Yuckles, clown school, and dating advice.

That's right.

It's a good point, though.

Yes.

Mainstream media pushing yuckles all over us.

That's the problem.

That's why we got all these issues.

Mainstream media pushing guckles all over us.

We need more sincere, deep thinkers and men.

Like

chakra, whatever chakra.

Nothing says deep and sincere, spiritual and alive, energetic and manly, like whatever chakra

just thing.

How to be a wet a girl that

take a girl on a date is all about

a date, so I find a shirt two sizes too small.

All of the instruction for men is how to be more of this nice guy upper energy.

If you're only upper energy, when you say to a girl, hey, I like you, would you like to go over coffee?

And she says, I have a boyfriend, you're top heavy and you fall over.

You flint all your knees and you're like,

See, I'm fucking duffers, whatever, energy.

Sorry, I can't help it.

Every time I get in front of somebody, I just fall right over.

And you fall over.

What is this, a Pratt fall class?

You fall over.

He's been to Yuckles, obviously.

He's been to Yuckles.

What he has not been to

is fucking, you know,

super cuts.

No one's washed that hair in two years.

Oh, God, is it dripping with something?

You didn't mean anything by it?

He didn't.

I have a boyfriend.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't know he had a boyfriend.

You're sorry because you had a boyfriend?

Never surrender.

Okay, I respect that.

And I'm sorry.

Never say sorry.

Never surrender.

I mean, what?

Don't say sorry.

Don't say sorry.

Don't say sorry.

Sorry!

You fucker, now we're fucked.

That we just fell down.

You know what I would have said?

I would have said, well, call him up and tell him you found a new dick to ride.

That's what you said.

How rude!

Exactly.

Too much of that upper energy, always making us fall over at coffee shops.

My job is a man.

So this upper energy is what's being taught.

This is why we have a generation of nice guys.

You're either

in your basement.

A generation of nice guys, you make that sound like a bad thing.

My God.

This is the problem.

You make nice guys sound like a bad thing.

Guys should be nice in general.

There are times to show your teeth.

It's not when you're trying to pick up a woman.

It's not.

We're playing World of Warcraft, not going out and meeting girls, or you're being taught upper energy things, which are good things.

Yeah, nothing says nice guy like playing World of Warcraft all day long.

But if they don't have the counterbalance of that beautiful lower thrusting energy.

It's so beautiful.

Oh, it's delicious.

It's beautiful.

So good.

So

good.

You want me to show you?

Come over here, Chrissy.

With your apple bottle.

Settle down.

She's your friend.

Let's get her a drink first.

I'll take some more wine.

You want some more wine?

I got that covered.

Upper energy here.

Yeah, see?

Now go hoof.

Woof's talking off now.

Don't worry.

I'll be thrusting that glass of wine right at her.

The spanking energy?

If you don't have that.

The spanking energy?

Someone literally just fell off their chair.

They were like,

Has the check cleared yet?

Because I want my money back.

You can just hear somebody running to the door.

Let's listen to that again.

Listen.

Listen closely.

He fell over.

Spanking energy.

Yeah, his nice guy energy just fell over.

Then you're a nice guy.

Yeah, he's too top heavy.

Women are dating nice guys, and men are learning, okay, how to go down on a woman, how to, her anatomy, the reading all these books and programs and like how to please a woman.

Oh, God forbid.

God forbid, we both get enjoyment out of sex.

How to massage it with right oils and candles for the right.

They're pleasing women.

And women say, I want that guy.

Yeah, sign me up.

No, you don't.

No, you want a guy who just doesn't even know where the hole is.

No, you don't.

I'm a man.

I know.

Yeah.

I know what you want.

I'm just going to start poking around until I find something to stick into.

You don't mind you.

dude.

I'm thrusting energy.

Is that guy?

He's just, what are you talking about, dude?

You make no sense whatsoever.

So, guys getting educated about female anatomy to make

the act of sex more pleasurable is a bad thing?

Yeah, apparently.

Massaging them with oils is not what women want?

Listen, I am no Casanova.

Trust me.

No Casanova.

But I'm also have, I don't think I'm going to be in a point where I'm going to complain about my sexual experience in life, my sexual experiences I've had plenty of them many of them bad woman and I'm saying I like that stuff of course you do Chrissy

because I because this guy is just talking shit he just got paid $500 to get up there and give a speech he hasn't even practiced

guy goes down on you for 45 minutes you could get yourself off in two minutes with your fingers what it's nice feels good yeah it's cool

but you have no there's nothing in him that makes it makes you what is he talking about

I don't know he went from chakras to going down on someone for 45 minutes.

First of all, don't know anyone who goes down on anyone for 45 minutes.

That hurts your jaw.

That's just bad.

That's just bad physio right there.

This guy's incredible.

You see?

No, I don't.

Nope.

I have no idea.

Just as clueless as when you started.

Do you provide a handout?

Yeah.

Is there a PowerPoint to go?

I'll call you back tomorrow and let you know about this proposal.

Are there follow-up questions on this one?

Nothing in us that makes women say, Wow, I can't stop thinking about that guy.

He's never,

he's never what?

That's what's missing.

Yeah, he doesn't finish his sentences because he doesn't know what he's fucking talking about.

I bet these guys are all in the audience, like, ah, right.

So, and if you're only lower energy, you're a creep.

Oh, well, thank God you've got a good balance

Because I don't know, I'd put you at the top of the creep heap myself.

If you don't have it balanced, if you're the sexual guy, look at women's boobs, and you don't have a balance with charm and humor and empathy and kindness and full respect.

Boobs.

Literally crawling around on the floor.

The hard ones with the hard words.

I'm down here with the lower energy, getting ready to thrust my way to you.

You just see guys on the floor just thrusting across the coffee shop.

Creep.

You're a creep.

But if you have both, our generation has only upper energy.

There you go.

That's what we have.

Your generation.

Yeah, there you go.

There you go.

Come to daddy.

He has both his arms outstretched.

There you go.

That was the revelation.

Come to Johnny Depp Jr.

Come to greasy hair, Johnny Depp.

Somehow Johnny Depp makes greasy hair look good.

This guy does not.

Welcome to my

history.

Oh, only upper energy.

So afraid to show that we have this sexual desire to, which is a good idea.

Yeah.

I put on my magic belt buckle that I got in the lucky charms box.

Look at me now.

I'm dripping with lower dick energy.

And Greece.

And Greece.

I can't afford a shower.

Thank God we're staying here at the Halliday and Express.

They promised me a shower in return for my speech.

Thank God.

So afraid to show it.

In society, you can't say it.

Oh, no, that's bad.

Right?

No, you're not right.

Nope.

Not right.

Not at all.

Is this lining with you guys?

Because I've seen a lot of blank faces out there.

Because all three of you seem to be kind of confused.

Is the lighting good?

You can't hear me?

What's going on?

Because

I don't see a lot of shaking heads.

That one dude fell off his chair a couple of minutes ago and he hasn't recovered yet.

He's just on the ground thrusting around.

I'm just the AP guy.

Well, then, is that one guy?

Are you getting this?

Is this landing with you?

What?

I'm sorry I had my headphones in in my conference call.

Makes sense?

This is why we're here.

It's why we have this problem in our lives, which we're trying to sort this thing out.

It's why women are going, where's the real men?

Every oh, they're at the 21 convention.

They're all at the 21 convention.

Oh my God, I almost spit my

21 convention.

Real men.

Are they giving speeches at the 21 convention?

The 21 convention.

That is what I'm going to start telling my single friends.

Yes.

Forget about anything else.

I've already been posting on my Facebook about it and my next door app.

The 21 convention is where the real men are.

Spotted 21 convention tickets on my next door app.

I'm spreading the good word.

Well, the women are saying, where are the real men?

Women are doing both roles.

They're being the man and the woman because the men are not showing up.

Woody Allen said,

oh, Woody Allen.

Oh, Woody.

Good old Woody.

He stops right there.

That's it.

That's all that happens.

You get the Woody Allen ending with no Woody Allen.

Woody Allen said this.

Bad, choppy cut.

Wow.

I'm going to have to find more Zahn.

Zahn's good.

You should always take advice from Woody Allen.

Yeah.

And I got, yeah, exactly.

Nothing says lower dick energy like the guy who married his daughter.

I mean, honestly.

Yeah.

Oh.

I know they weren't blood related, but I don't think it matters.

Actually, I'm not sure.

He left his wife for his adopted daughter.

They lived together.

Yes.

Now, has he made some good movies?

Of course he has.

Everybody likes a good Woody Allen fable.

But I don't like Woody Allen.

so sometimes it's hard to watch his movies now because I'm like, he fucked his daughter.

That's not a good thing.

I don't care what kind of chakra, whatever chakras you got going on there.

Whoa, Brian, that was a gem.

That was a gem.

That's an insane.

That was a Zam.

That was Zahn.

That was a Zam.

We got to get Zahn back on.

We should get Zahn on.

We'll break him big.

Yeah,

Zahn, you want to hit the big time?

You want an additional three views?

Come on the commercial break.

Give us that same speech.

I wonder if we could get Zahn on.

I bet Zahn would be happy to come on, actually.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, that was terribly enlightening.

I feel better already.

I'm going into the weekend feeling great about this.

Laughter therapy.

Oh, I'm going to be thrusting my way into the bedroom tonight.

Yes.

I'm going to be dick energying it all the way.

All the way home.

Ho, ho, ho, all the way home.

Hi, ho, hi, ho.

Whatever chakra we go.

There we go.

All right.

Well, I don't have a phone number to give you, but I'll tell you to go to tcbpodcast.com.

That's where you find all the audio and all the video right there from one location, tcbpodcast.com.

You can go to the contact us page for right now, send us emails, because we're getting our phone situation straightened out after our phone number was stolen from us.

Don't text the old number because you won't get a response.

Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB Podcast on TikTok, and youtube.com/slash the commercial break.

Okay, Chrissy, that was a good one.

Yeah.

All right, but that's all I can do for this week.

I think so.

But I'll tell you that I love you.

I love you.

Best to you.

And best you.

And best you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I and our chakra,

or whatever chakras, must say, we will say, and we do say.

Goodbye.

I take a dick and keep on making it.

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