The Great Wolf Mayhem!

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Speaker 3 Has this ever happened to you?

Speaker 2 Hey, Nick. Hey, Chad.
Are you going to Harmony's poo party this weekend? I heard it's gonna be a straight rage.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'd love to go, but the 5G cell phone towers are frying the measles vaccine in my veins and giving me a limp noodle. Plus, I can't afford that expensive beer made by global elites.

Speaker 1 Bummer, Nick. Yeah, total bummer, Chad.

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Speaker 2 On this episode of the Commercial Break.

Speaker 2 But now,

Speaker 2 and I'm trying not to pass this germaphobia on to my kids, but now when they take their shoes off in a hotel room, I'm kind of like, yeah,

Speaker 2 put your shoes back on, put a socks on or something.

Speaker 2 Because I know

Speaker 2 socks. I know, just like everybody, every other adult knows that that carpet, if that hotel is more than a year old, has seen all kinds of DNA on it.

Speaker 2 All kinds of DNA, and I don't want anything to do with it. It's a crime scene.

Speaker 2 So, did what's it's a crime scene?

Speaker 2 I bet. I bet.

Speaker 2 The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, Cats and Kittens, welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green.
This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy. Holy best to you, Chris.
Best to you, Brian.

Speaker 2 Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of the Commercial Break.

Speaker 2 Hey, listen. I want to make today all about listeners.
Listeners, listeners, listeners. You, the listeners.
I want to waste no time. Listener Appreciation Day.
Listener Appreciation Day. That's right.

Speaker 2 We're going to be having a listener call in later. One of our first listeners that's ever called in.
I know. I am excited too.

Speaker 2 We've been texting, interacting for a while.

Speaker 2 Interested to find out how long she's been listening to the show, but she texted us for the first time after she heard my story about the Great Wolf Lodge because she is an employee or was employed by the Great Wolf Lodge.

Speaker 2 Not the same one that I went to, but there's a series of them throughout the country. Yeah, it's a chain.
Yeah, and she was throwing a bunch of stories out there.

Speaker 2 And, you know, between me, Astrid, and Christina, who I think interacted with her once or twice. I think, interacted with her once or twice.

Speaker 2 It kind of bubbled up to the top for me, and I was like, oh, yeah, I would like to hear. I'd like to hear straight from the horse's ass exactly the kind of shenanigans that are going on.

Speaker 2 I know she's got some good stories. I know she does.
So, that later on in the show. But first,

Speaker 2 it's been a minute since we did an Ask TCB. So, I thought now was a great time to do an Ask TCB.
In the meantime, look at how cute one of my daughters is. Oh.

Speaker 2 Mine. You don't get to see it, listener.
Mine. That's mine.
We're going to keep my kids out of it for right now. Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's the best idea, actually.

Speaker 2 Well, you tell enough stories about them, but. I do, but I try to.
I don't think I've. Maybe once or twice I've said a name.
I don't give the ages. You don't even know how many children I really have.

Speaker 2 No. And I'd prefer to stay that way.
Thank you very much. I think I won't.
You got a gaggle. I do.
Just say that. I do.
I have a gaggle.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 So let's give some shout-outs to some listeners. Let's answer their questions.

Speaker 2 What I have done is I have put together a series of questions that are specific to you and I, like about the minutiae of the show, about the actual commercial break.

Speaker 2 And I thought, oh, that's that's a good one. So I put a couple of them together that have come over the years.

Speaker 2 Yeah, after five years, we're catching on. Yeah, after five years, we're finally catching on.
First and foremost, it's kind of cold in here, so let me turn off the air conditioning. Thank you.

Speaker 2 I was going to say, you jacked up that air. Now that I can feel it on my feet now, and that's always pretty annoying when my feet get cold, you know? Well, no, here's a fun fact.

Speaker 2 If your feet are warm, it really does warm the rest of your body. Well, here's the same with being cold.

Speaker 2 Do you know that my mom did this when we were a kid, and I have done this for friends, family, and my children now?

Speaker 2 All of your blood moves through your body, I think it's in about like, I think it's 36 seconds. So, your blood goes from your heart and back to your heart in like 36 seconds.
Very fast, right?

Speaker 2 That your blood flows through your body. I think that,

Speaker 2 yeah, check that fact. Yeah, let me check that fact right now.

Speaker 2 This is when we need somebody. Okay.
How long does it take for the blood to flow through your body?

Speaker 2 About a minute. Okay, about a minute.
It moves at three feet per second. Wow.
Your blood's really going, right? That hurts really good.

Speaker 2 Your body is a wonderland. Touch my hand.

Speaker 2 Kind of creepy, John Mayer, but you play guitar really good. But then you dated some teenagers, and that wasn't so hot.

Speaker 2 And then you were here in Atlantis singing songs with another guy, and you forgot to give him credit on the album. Sorry about that, John Mayer.

Speaker 2 But now you're with the Grateful Dead, so I guess everything's okay. Your body is wonderland.
Take my hand.

Speaker 2 Why, Georgia? Why?

Speaker 2 That's why he is from Georgia. Yeah, it's unbelievable.
So John,

Speaker 2 now it's a totally, totally different tangent. Just real quick.

Speaker 2 John Mayer was a local singer-songwriter here in Atlanta, and he had another writing, singing, songwriting, writing partner that he would go and do gigs with here in Atlanta.

Speaker 2 And the scuttlebutt was, from people around that other guy and that other guy, was that John went and took some of the songs, some of the tunes that they had created together, and he made it into that very first, very famous, very popular album with Wonderland and Georgia, why, Georgia, why?

Speaker 2 That was unlike a lot of what John had done here in Atlanta, which was very bluesy, rocky kind of thing. Now he's come back to his roots.
He is an excellent guitar player, by the way.

Speaker 2 Excellent guitar player. I really enjoyed the way he plays guitar.
But the scuttle butt was that, oops,

Speaker 2 forgot to mention that guy. Yeah, forgot to mention that guy.

Speaker 2 But who knows if that's true or not true? And I would imagine that if it was true, they've settled that score long since. Like there's been some lawsuit that got settled or something.
Definitely.

Speaker 2 Or John just did the right thing. Because he does seem like a

Speaker 2 nice guy. Yeah, no, he really does.
Yeah, he dated some young girls, but then I know who has it.

Speaker 2 Apparently, everybody on Love is Blind has. So there you go.

Speaker 2 And I'll follow up on that on the next episode. We'll talk about Love is Blind.
Yeah, you got to get caught up. I know.

Speaker 2 I was saying, you know, this other guy was so emotionally mature and such a good guy. And then I read some stuff online that maybe indicated he wasn't.

Speaker 2 So the blood in your body moves at one, all through your body in one minute.

Speaker 2 And your wrists have these major arteries that go through them. You know, we all know that.

Speaker 2 And so if you put a cool, damp cloth or coal or ice on your wrists when you're extremely hot or warm water when you're extremely cold, in about a minute, your body will be warmed up because the blood is moving through there.

Speaker 2 So it warms up your blood. So there you go.
Little tip from Brian. Now you know.
Also, socks. Now you know.
Yeah, also socks. And turn off the air conditioning, Brian.
Okay. All right.

Speaker 2 So Dave from Chicago asked, hey, Dave, thanks for listening. What is the wildest or most unexpected thing that has happened while recording an episode? Well, I know this.
I think I know this.

Speaker 2 I thought when it was right off the bat. Which is what? It was when we first started out.
Yep. And we were recording in the other room.

Speaker 2 And while we were recording, like a part of the wall came down. Oh, yes.
Oh, that was pretty wild, too. Yes.

Speaker 2 We had some soundproof panels on the wall, taped on the wall, and a couple of them fell at one time, and it scared the holy shit out of both of us. And I think it's still in the episode.

Speaker 2 It might be like episode number six or seven. I mean, maybe not six or seven, but 30 or something like that.
I thought about the time.

Speaker 2 I got to say this carefully because I want to make sure I don't say too much, but

Speaker 2 I thought of the time when all of a sudden the microphone was smoking. Oh, yes.
And we thought the studio was on fire

Speaker 2 and we were freaking out. The smoke was just pouring out of the microphone.
And I stood up and I was like, we got to get out of here. We're going to die.
Like a white snake concert. Great white.

Speaker 2 Sorry. Like a great white concert.
I think that would be it. I mean, you know, there's.
There's always the lawnmower outside or blue parking.

Speaker 2 Your gaggle of kids running around, but those aren't too crazy. A couple times when I've literally

Speaker 2 stopped recording because I was supposed to have been on a conference call or something like that. Yeah, like, oh, hey, everybody, stop.
I'll be back in an hour.

Speaker 2 And then there's the times we've recorded without actually hitting the record button. Yeah, I mean, there's, but besides that, there's been not like anything too, too, too crazy.
Uh,

Speaker 2 Jennifer asks, no, no indication of where Jennifer is. If you had to describe the show to someone that has never heard it before using only a couple of words, what would they be?

Speaker 2 TCB.

Speaker 2 It's about friendship. I've been trying to figure that that out for five years, Jennifer.
We don't know. We don't know.
It's two friends talking. Yeah.
Like we're at a bar, we're telling stories.

Speaker 2 It's not for everyone. It's not for everyone.
I think it's a good one. Somehow we have a listener base.

Speaker 2 I think it's relatable, ridiculous, and at times redundant. I mean, I think those are the three words I would use.

Speaker 2 It's like, you know, it's you're a fly on the wall and a friendship that's existed for a very long time

Speaker 2 and we're always it's like you and your friend getting together it is a non-linear conversation that goes all over right one person says one thing it takes you off and it holds

Speaker 2 your attention i.e john mayer john mayer

Speaker 2 putting ice on your wrist and now listener questions that all happened in the first seven minutes of the show

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 okay um

Speaker 2 oh hold on one second i give me one second i want to make sure i credit this one but it's on a different uh app Terry. Terry says,

Speaker 2 Has there ever been a topic or a joke that was too outrageous to talk about or make in an episode? Would you be willing to share it here?

Speaker 2 Well, no, because it was too outrageous to say then, it's not going to be okay to say it now.

Speaker 2 I think there have been times when we have not aired episodes or parts of episodes because upon further review, they felt insensitive

Speaker 2 or maybe it cut too close to the bone. Like we were talking about a topic that

Speaker 2 maybe we should have waited a little while to talk about it, I guess would be the best way to put it. I can remember that.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But, you know, I mean, it's so funny because I was talking to somebody about this and

Speaker 2 they said, you know, is there anything that like it's too embarrassing or whatever you want to talk about? I was like, I used to feel that way, but not now.

Speaker 2 It's all out there. It's all out there.
I'm numb to it.

Speaker 2 I don't think there's anything that we personally feel is off limits.

Speaker 2 I I mean, obviously, there are some things about our family members that we want to try and protect the people who didn't volunteer to be on this stupid fucking show.

Speaker 2 But as far as our own personal inner workings or inner thoughts are concerned, go back and listen to 700 episodes of the commercial break. There isn't too much in my life you haven't heard about.

Speaker 2 And there might be a few stories, but it's just for reasons to protect other people who were involved in them who may not want those conversations had.

Speaker 2 But there are topics that we have talked about where we felt afterward. I can, I'll think of one and just, I'll just share the topic and then you'll know is that we frequently,

Speaker 2 especially in season two and three, we would do videos, a lot of videos.

Speaker 2 And one of our favorite kind of videos to do was My Strange Addiction or something along those lines, you know, and we found one about a guy who liked to be a baby and he wanted to be a baby. Yes.

Speaker 2 And, but it was a sexual fetish. Yeah.
And we felt afterwards. That was very uncomfortable.
Yeah. It was very uncomfortable.
We did the entire episode, and then we felt afterwards that fetishizing

Speaker 2 sexual behavior in this manner.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it didn't even

Speaker 2 sit well with us. Yeah, it wasn't a very funny episode because Christy and I were kind of like,

Speaker 2 we thought it would be funny. Goo-goo-gaga, pee-pee-poo-poo, but it didn't turn funny when he was like, hand job, hand job.
You know what I'm saying? It was like, it got a little weird.

Speaker 2 Suck on your tits, hand job kind of thing. I was like, oh, oh, ooh, ooh, I don't know.
There's another one that we we just recently did where Mirika, the world's most advanced robot,

Speaker 2 was on. And we may run part of this in the future.
It wasn't that it was too outrageous. It was so depressing.
It was so depressing. That it didn't end up being a very funny episode.

Speaker 2 Chrissy and I were kind of like, oh, this.

Speaker 2 It was a robot infused with AI, and it was

Speaker 2 frightening.

Speaker 2 It was literally frightening. I mean, I was still thinking about it.
I think it took me an hour to get home that day, and I was still thinking about it after I got home.

Speaker 2 Oh, I was thinking about it for a week. I was, yeah.

Speaker 2 The same guy asks, What's a moment from the podcast that made you laugh so hard you had to stop recording? We've never stopped recording because we're laughing too hard.

Speaker 2 That's that's also an ear, a trademark of the commercial break is that we laugh a lot on this show.

Speaker 2 I think

Speaker 2 COVID Christmas castle Christmas Castle Waffle House.

Speaker 2 I think I peed a little bit. Did you really? Yeah, and then the Waffle House.
Waffle House was pretty funny. It was really funny.
Waffle House.

Speaker 2 And there's been some other, there's definitely been, what was, God? Well, I think Carl.

Speaker 2 Oh, Carl was really funny. Carl,

Speaker 2 when you first, when we first started talking about Carl. And I was doing the voice.
Yes. Yeah.
Hey, girl. Hey, girl.

Speaker 2 Hey, girl.

Speaker 2 I can't go preaching on a full dick. That was pretty funny.
Yeah, and even recently, there was one that I can't remember what we were laughing about. It happens all the time.
It does.

Speaker 2 We're always laughing hard. Even

Speaker 2 on or off the microphone. That's right.
On or off the microphone. But a lot of times we don't even catch the funniest stuff because we're just talking about a hero in the studio.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 Jane asks, if you could bring any bizarre, obscure, or internet personality on as a guest, who might it be and why?

Speaker 2 Well, I find these all the time. I would love to bring a lot of these people on.
But I think at the end of the day, Frankie B is like the gold ring of getting.

Speaker 2 We've said we don't want to have him in the thing here because it's like, don't meet your heroes that's right don't meet your heroes i have asked a guy to come on who made the rounds over the summer i think that i think it's it's the popularity has faded because i don't see as many of his reels out there now but he's a guy who makes music and he sings songs about his ex-girlfriend but he doesn't but the lyric his voice is not good the music is not great it's very non-linear but the problem is all of that stuff i think you could auto-tune your way into something the lyrics that he writes are not really lyrics.

Speaker 2 They're like conversations that he's had with his ex-girl. He'd be like, you know, I broke up with you, or you broke up with me because you said we didn't do fun stuff.

Speaker 2 But that one night I was on the couch with you, we were watching Netflix, and it was really great because Love is Blind is our favorite show.

Speaker 2 Not a bit of irony. The guy was not joke.
This wasn't a joke. This was like he was singing these songs, but he was just talking, like, the lyrics were just him talking.
And everybody went crazy.

Speaker 2 I mean, he had hundreds of thousands of views on these videos and these songs.

Speaker 2 And I tried desperately to get him on, but I think at the end of the day, he probably listened to the show and was like, Yeah, I'm not going on to be made fun of. That's not going to happen.
Right.

Speaker 2 There's lots of internet.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 I think Hoctua Girl would be someone that I would bring on the show, though she's not obscure. She's pretty popular.
She's pretty famous. Let's put it that way.

Speaker 2 But I would love to get in her head because Hoctua Girl, let's, or

Speaker 2 who's the girl who does the,

Speaker 2 what's her name? The girl that does the crazy dancing and drinking that I

Speaker 2 don't know. Anyway, you get it.

Speaker 2 There's plenty of them out there. Yeah, but there's one specifically we've been talking about a lot, but now I can't remember her name because we haven't talked about her in a while.

Speaker 2 We haven't talked about it in a while. Haktua Girl, I think, would be an interesting internet celebrity to.
I feel like I've seen so much about her, though. I don't know what else we could uncover.

Speaker 2 Well, I'd just like to dig into not only what a shit show hock to a coin was and all the things that she is hawking as hawk to a girl from you know beats on a beats website like she literally has her own beats oh really yeah she makes her own beats like drops um to the altcoin to the uh meme coin to the t-shirt she may not be legally able to talk about the coins well she has been talking about she showed back up and she did a podcast her own podcast where she brought on some people to grill her about this.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 nothing else was answered.

Speaker 2 She just kind of dodged all the questions. But even the people who were there as crypto experts were like, dude, this was a total rug job.
Like you really screwed a lot of people here.

Speaker 2 But what I think is more interesting, the angle that is more interesting is what it's like to get so famous so fast and how you handle that.

Speaker 2 She got a duck in an agent at WME and then they signed her to a big podcast deal. And this all happens basically overnight.
She goes from complete obscurity to someone that everybody knows.

Speaker 2 And that's got to be a hard thing to do. Okay, so that's all the listener questions about the commercial break.
But now here, let me give you one.

Speaker 2 That is a relationship question.

Speaker 2 This is Brad, I guess is his name. My girlfriend talks in her sleep.
And a couple of nights ago, She had a full-blown romantic conversation. Oh, no, his name isn't Brad.
Excuse me.

Speaker 2 He doesn't give his name. She had a full-blown romantic conversation with a guy named Brad.
I don't know who Brad is. She swears she has no idea who he is.

Speaker 2 But now I am stuck wondering, do I confront her about the dream boyfriend or just accept that I am in a weird

Speaker 2 love triangle with her subconsciousness?

Speaker 2 That is an interesting question.

Speaker 2 It is, because, I mean, you can't really be jealous because she's talking in her sleep. Brad could be somebody from a show she watched earlier.
Yeah, true.

Speaker 2 First of all, I'm going hunting on all of her social media for Brad connections. Right.
That is happening. I mean, once is one thing, too.
But if it's like

Speaker 2 every night. Every single night.
Yeah. If it's happening more than once,

Speaker 2 if Brad's making a repeat appearance. Yeah.
If there is a guy making a repeat appearance, then he definitely is in her head. And for some reason, yeah, you might want to dig in.

Speaker 2 And listen, you can't control your subconsciousness. As much as I'd like to say that I have never dreamed about another woman since I met Astrid, that's not true, right?

Speaker 2 Because, and I can't control it. I had one last night about Jack White.
About Jack White?

Speaker 2 Oh, was Jack White giving you the slinky seven? Well, we weren't like, you know, doing anything. Yeah, but I was like at a concert and I was meeting him and talking to him.

Speaker 2 We were friends and he was like getting me backstage and it was a whole thing. And then he was touching your boots.

Speaker 2 I think because we were talking about the rock and roll hall of fame. Oh, yeah, yeah, probably.
Yeah. Well, listen, I've...

Speaker 2 Yeah, stuff can slip into the subconscious yes when i first met when aster first came here to uh

Speaker 2 to live with me we got married i had a series of dreams over the course of a month about lisa kudrea oh you did you told me about and i was i was so yes it was as if lisa kudreau and i had actually had sex i remember you telling me about yes and i was so weirded out i could not get her out of my head every and i to be honest, I wasn't a huge friends watcher when it came out.

Speaker 2 I have not done the rewatch. I've probably seen a lot of episodes by default because it's been everywhere forever.
But Lisa Kudreau is the last of the girls. Yeah, it was not the one.

Speaker 2 It was Jennifer Aniston every time. I mean, and I wasn't even all that attracted to Courtney Cox, but she might be the second.

Speaker 2 It's not that Lisa wasn't attractive, of course, she was, but something in my brain turned Lisa Kudreau into the world's sexiest woman, but not Lisa Kudreau now or Lisa Kudreau the actress, the girl from Friends, Phoebe, right?

Speaker 2 She was Phoebe.

Speaker 2 It was Phoebe and that smelly cat, and we were having sex like multiple times in my dreams, and it was really weird, and I could not get it out of my head. I remember that.

Speaker 2 For a couple of weeks, this went on. So you can't control your subconscious.
Obviously, I'm not sleeping with Lisa Kudreau, but, you know, or Phoebe, either of them.

Speaker 2 I wish I could.

Speaker 2 I will tell you right now that I don't think you can control your subconscious.

Speaker 2 So if she's telling you that I don't know who Brad is and I have no idea why I'm saying his name, I'd take that on face value and just, you know, run with that, right?

Speaker 2 Unless you go to an office Christmas party and you meet Brad or your boss. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 Unless she brings home some of her co-workers and Brad shows up at the front door. Hey, I'm Brad.

Speaker 2 I work next in the office next to your wife. Then you might have some problems.
But okay. All right, listen, we got to get Betty on the phone.

Speaker 2 Betty works for or worked for, we'll get some clarity on that for the Great Wolf Lodge. She's got a few stories to share with us.
These may be cautionary tales. I'm telling you what.

Speaker 2 I'm not trying, by the way, I'm not trying to poo-poo on the Great Wolf Lodge. It's a great place to take the kids and kill a day or two or whatever it is.

Speaker 2 But we all know what goes on. And let's not try and pretend Great Wolf Lodge is something that it's not.
And I've told you about my story. I'd like to hear about other people's experiences.
Especially

Speaker 2 an insider, someone that works there. So let's take a break.
And when we get back, we'll talk more about it.

Speaker 6 Let me do something Brian has never done.

Speaker 1 Be brief.

Speaker 6 Follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break. Text or call us 212-433-3TCB.
That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker.

Speaker 6 Then watch all the videos at youtube.com/slash thecommercial break. And finally, share the show.
It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian?

Speaker 7 That really wasn't that difficult now, was it?

Speaker 6 You're welcome.

Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored in part by Rula. You know, there was a time when I really needed therapy, but I could not find a therapist who took my insurance.

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Speaker 2 And taking a listener phone call now, Betty from the Midwest is here with us.

Speaker 2 Hello, Betty. Hi, Betty.
Hey, guys. Hey, well, thanks for calling in.
We certainly do appreciate it.

Speaker 2 Betty was texting us because Betty was explaining that at one time, she actually worked for Great Wolf Lodge.

Speaker 2 Inside knowledge. Inside the inside scoop.
I love it. The Great Wolf Lodge.
And I said, you have to call in because I have to hear more about the inner workings of the Great Wolf Lodge.

Speaker 2 One of my least favorite vacations that I've ever taken. But it wasn't the worst vacation I've ever taken, that's for sure.

Speaker 2 But you got to understand, as an adult with small children, it was a little strange to see full-grown adults sitting at the bar, boozing themselves greatly to great effect

Speaker 2 while everybody else ran around peeing in the pool,

Speaker 2 peeing in the pool.

Speaker 2 So tell us, Betty, first of all, thanks for being a commercial break listener, one of the few commercial break listeners out there, willing to say that they actually listened to that commercial break.

Speaker 2 Hey, you know,

Speaker 2 I advertise your stickers on my water bottle. Whoa.
So, uh, the 21st century. So, yeah, I gotta get.

Speaker 2 No, I, I actually,

Speaker 2 you know, I don't, I don't actually have the stickers. Oh, you don't? I don't, I don't, I don't know what happened to them.
Oh, I released them. We'll send some more.
We'll send you some more.

Speaker 2 Please do. Please do.
Cause

Speaker 2 I'll text you my address. Okay, text us your address and then Astrid will be happy to send you some pictures.
I mean, some stickers. So, and pictures.

Speaker 2 That's relates to listeners, pictures. But maybe you're not her flavor.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 How long have you been listening to the show?

Speaker 2 Since the great pandemic. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Very long time. I think I started when you guys were maybe 15 episodes in.
Oh, when we were 15 episodes in? You're kidding me.

Speaker 2 Thank you for sticking with us. Betty, I had no idea that you were listening for that.
I had no idea anybody was listening for that. I thought those people had all gone.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we figured people had turned over many times. Wow.
No, I stuck around. Okay, so how long did you work with the Great Wolf Lodge?

Speaker 2 I mean, how long have you been associated with the Great Wolf Lodge?

Speaker 2 I am on my sixth year. You're on your sixth year.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 let's start with this question.

Speaker 2 Do you think people are absolutely the worst after working for the Great Wolf Lodge for six years.

Speaker 2 Let me just say, people, well, people.

Speaker 2 A person, a person is good, people are bad. Oh, that's a good idea.
That's a good way of putting it. Yeah, I can see that.
So, in other words, when you're interacting with just one person,

Speaker 2 they tend to be nice.

Speaker 2 But when a group of people is together, they're dismissive and like the group think mentality takes over and people start becoming real shitheads. Is what I experienced at the Great Wolf Lodge also.

Speaker 2 Yeah, is that everybody just kind of went wild. Like they went wild when they couldn't get their pizza in five minutes, but it was everybody working everybody else up, is really what was going on.

Speaker 2 What is so

Speaker 2 it's a peer pressure type thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think it's, you know, I think it's well documented. Groupthink mentality takes over and people, you know, one person gets irritated.

Speaker 2 It can, that energy can literally pass on to the next person. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 tell me,

Speaker 2 give me a like a little slice of some of the experiences that you've seen from the Great wolf lodge that would make us all turn our stomachs

Speaker 2 well i've got i've got

Speaker 2 um three categories for you okay okay

Speaker 2 you can do karen stories okay

Speaker 2 we can do really really gross stories i like those too

Speaker 2 Or a really wholesome story. Okay, why don't you do this this? Why don't you give us one?

Speaker 2 let's do it in this order and we'll see if we have enough time to get through three. Why don't you go gross,

Speaker 2 Karen? We'll end it on a high note with wholesome.

Speaker 2 Okay, all right.

Speaker 2 So I have permission from my coworkers to tell you their stories too. Okay, gross.

Speaker 2 We've got a

Speaker 2 juicy. I think this goes deep.
It's a conspiracy.

Speaker 2 I've been collecting them. Oh my God.
I love this.

Speaker 2 So one of my coworkers

Speaker 2 got a call on the radio that

Speaker 2 somebody had pooped behind the skee ball machine

Speaker 2 in the arcade. Oh, no.

Speaker 2 How do you get behind the skee ball machine? So this is the thing. So you're going to imagine that it's downpour rate.
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 2 We've got water coming in underneath the doors.

Speaker 2 So they had moved one of the little blocked,

Speaker 2 the screens that block the

Speaker 2 view of the mate of one of the emergency exits. Okay.

Speaker 2 So there's like a little passageway behind skee ball machines for maintenance for emergency exits. Yeah.
So there's a group. There's a group of about four boys and they have this on camera.

Speaker 2 There's a group and they're playing skee ball and they're doing the basketball thing in the arcade and suddenly they disappear from the screen

Speaker 2 they found a way to get behind the skeeball machine okay and it's dark back there and dust and

Speaker 2 whatever else

Speaker 2 and you have no yeah it's probably full of trash

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 so he just parentally just pulls his pants down and just poops just shits right there oh yeah how old is this kid are these like 10 year olds yes oh fuck.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's the worst. I was, I was like,

Speaker 2 they're not little. They're just too involved, and they can't go across the

Speaker 2 hallway to poop. To get, yeah.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Okay. So

Speaker 2 worse on worse, okay? Yeah. The four of them back there are apparently all together.
They're all involved in this. They're all encouraging this kid to shit on the floor, essentially.
Yes. Yes.

Speaker 2 Exactly. And, you know, it's loud in there.
You can't hear a damn thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 Lights, noises, bells, whistle, loud music, you know, splashing. It's yeah, it's very loud in that place.

Speaker 2 It is.

Speaker 2 So one of the kids apparently throws up

Speaker 2 during the pooping. Oh,

Speaker 2 God.

Speaker 2 So now you've got water coming in from the emergency exit.

Speaker 2 You've got kids in there

Speaker 2 playing in the park, you know, in the arcade.

Speaker 2 And then suddenly it's poop and pierce.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 God. This sounds like, you know,

Speaker 2 Venice after flooding. This is like, this sounds really fucking gross.
So, Betty.

Speaker 2 So you thought the pool was bad? Oh. Oh.
The carpets are terrible. Oh, no.

Speaker 2 I said this the second that I walked into that place.

Speaker 2 It had carpeting, which, in general, in hotel rooms, I have learned, you know, it used to be that when I was a kid and we got to a hotel room, it was the best thing in the world.

Speaker 2 The smell of chlorine and bleach and the pool, like something about a hotel just got all of us brothers so excited. We love to stay at a hotel.

Speaker 2 We take our shoes off and run around the hotel room like every kid would. But now,

Speaker 2 and I'm trying not to pass this germaphobia onto my kids, but now when they take their shoes off in a hotel room, I'm kind of like, yeah,

Speaker 2 put your shoes back on, put a socks on or something.

Speaker 2 Because I know. Socks.
Socks. I know, just like every other adult knows that that carpet, if that hotel is more than a year old, has seen all kinds of DNA on it.

Speaker 2 All kinds of DNA, and I don't want anything to do with it. It's a crime scene.

Speaker 2 So did was it's a crime scene.

Speaker 2 I bet. I bet.
So did was management alerted quickly? Was this situation taken care of quickly, or did it take some time to figure out what had happened?

Speaker 2 Or were the like security keeping an eye on these boys

Speaker 2 she told me it took her three hours

Speaker 2 to get it cleaned up completely to

Speaker 2 to

Speaker 2 standard

Speaker 2 oh my god

Speaker 2 your poor co-worker your poor co-worker these are the people she

Speaker 2 so we we do have like a little hand held carpet cleaner okay kind of like like your little bissel your spot

Speaker 2 type of thing It's loud.

Speaker 2 Okay, because it has to, it has to be. Yeah, yeah.
But she, she said she had to refill it like six times. Oh, my God.
I just can't even think of the minutiae. Those little shit has to be.

Speaker 2 Those little fucking,

Speaker 2 and she said she had to wipe it off the walls.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's the worst.

Speaker 2 You know, I don't like sometimes when you're on a road trip and you stop at the rest stop, you know, generally if most, if the rest stops are maintained, generally there's like a 24-hour maintenance person that's there that's cleaning God bless those human beings who are doing that because that is the worst of the worst but what gets me every time I go to a truck stop or a rest stop or whatever it is what gets me is not that people shit that it smells bad or whatever that's everybody shits stuff on the wall it's the shit on the walls and I'm like how did you how possibly could you have gotten it up there how did that happen you have to purposefully be aiming in that direction or something i don't know because i have never been one who has ever thought about

Speaker 2 shooting shit on a wall. It's fucking disgusting.
That is crazy. Little monkeys.
Yeah, they're like little monkeys. They are little monkeys.
10-year-olds.

Speaker 2 So, did those kids get kicked out of the Great Wolf Law? Did someone,

Speaker 2 was there any conversation with the boy? Because I mean, I imagine if security has it on camera, then you can, you, you have an idea of who did it, right? You see their picture.

Speaker 2 That depends because you're all on wristbands.

Speaker 2 So identifying somebody, if they don't give a proper name,

Speaker 2 we can't know what room they're in unless

Speaker 2 you have wristbands.

Speaker 2 And plus, I wonder how long it was until it was discovered. I'm sure they didn't come to the bottom.
Yeah, I'm sure it wasn't like

Speaker 2 that. It was not, and they're not going to tell anybody.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that, but this is the best story they've ever told as a 10-year-old. They're all running around school telling the story about the time little Timmy

Speaker 2 shit on the wall of the skee-ball machine in Great Wolf Lodge. Can I ask you a question while we're on pee-pee-poo-poo?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 How clean

Speaker 2 are those pools? Is it like the people who work there, do they have a general understanding that? I mean, I understand there's a ton of chlorine in those pools, like a ton. You can smell it.

Speaker 2 It burns your nose, right? And I'm sure they keep those chlorine levels at such high levels that no bacteria could survive more than a couple seconds.

Speaker 2 But is it just how many times a day do little kids shit in the pool?

Speaker 2 We actually have a code for it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Of course you do. What's the code? So we have an AFR, which is accidental fecal release.

Speaker 2 Oh, accidental fecal release.

Speaker 2 I love it.

Speaker 2 And they'll do an all call on the radio. And so whoever here has the radio will hear pool is this certain pool is closed for an AFR.
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 We will radio you when we're back open. Yeah.

Speaker 2 so they'll take they'll do that they'll do like a full half an hour treatment oh everybody's out of the pool everybody gets out of the pool there's nobody allowed they have to

Speaker 2 do the chemicals they have to get the nets they have to get um

Speaker 2 the biohazard bags

Speaker 2 and they have a specific place for all that wow yeah i was gonna say because you can't really drain the

Speaker 2 water you've got to just get it out of there and then cycle it yeah to put chemicals in it and nobody's nobody's gonna touch that so no

Speaker 2 no of course not this isn't caddy shack

Speaker 2 um the when they when they when you have an afr an accidental fecal release if i'm just like

Speaker 2 tina's laughing so hard when you have an accidental vehicle it's making me laugh when you have an accidental fecal release in one so i the great wolf lodge that i came to here or i went to here in Georgia, there is the wave pool, there is the kid pool, there is the water slides.

Speaker 2 I'm sure they're all very similar in that sense. When you have a AFR in one pool, does everybody have to get out to the entire Great Wolf Lodge water park? Does everybody just have to leave?

Speaker 2 Or just that pool? It's just that pool. Just that pool.
Okay. And they all have their separate filtration systems.
So,

Speaker 2 okay. Okay, good.
Okay. That's all right.
All right.

Speaker 2 Somebody's working on it. Listen, you know, it wasn't the most like I, and I think I mentioned this on the show where I talked about my experience with Great Wolf Lodge.
It wasn't the

Speaker 2 messy place. It was well kept.

Speaker 2 It was just no, seeing some of the people that were running around in there, one 10-year-old boy running around literally with his ass hanging out in the water. I was like, I'm in ass water right now.

Speaker 2 That's what I'm in. I'm in ass water.
I'm in somebody else's asshole water right now. And that kind of skeeved me out a little bit.

Speaker 2 Has Great Wolf Lodge ever considered putting that chemical in the pool that turns pee a different color? Like that?

Speaker 2 I don't know. That would be a good idea.
I don't know. Is that real or is that a minimum? It's real.
You can get that. You can get it at the pool store.

Speaker 2 But there's like, it doesn't work in all circumstances and it has to be at high levels of concentration. You can put it in the pool and it'll stay there.
It'll stay there for like 30 minutes.

Speaker 2 But if it, and then it eventually gets filled, the chlorine overtakes it and whatever. I don't know.
There's some technical shit. Okay.
That is a pretty disgusting story. I'm thoroughly grossed out.

Speaker 2 I hate pee-pee-poo-poo and I definitely dislike puke. And God bless the people who have to.

Speaker 2 Do you hear me, listener?

Speaker 2 I don't imagine anybody at TCB who's listening to TCB. I like to think of our listeners as a very pragmatic, common sense,

Speaker 2 kind people

Speaker 2 who aren't adding to the drama of the universe.

Speaker 2 But if there's one of you out there, or you have little shitheads that are you have little you's that are running out there acting like you can you please put a cap on the bullshit?

Speaker 2 Because somebody out there in the universe has to clean up after your little chitlins. And no one wants to clean pee-pee-poo-poo off of the skee-ball machine.
No one. But that's somebody's job.

Speaker 2 That is somebody's job.

Speaker 2 Fuck them. We're not making much.

Speaker 2 Right. I was going to say, God, if there's those situations, you almost need like an instant bonus.
Yeah, I would think so.

Speaker 2 It always gets me that like the people who do the most amount of work for us in the service industry are the people who are likely to get paid the least. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 Like, I'm not complaining because I was a bartender, but bartenders can bring home $100, $200, $300, maybe more in a night, depending on what restaurant you're on.

Speaker 2 And we're just talking to hot chicks and making cocktails all night long, right?

Speaker 2 But the guy who's cleaning, the busboy who's cleaning up all the tables and the bathrooms and all that other stuff is making like 10% of our tips, right?

Speaker 2 It always seemed a little bit, I guess that's just the way of the world. Okay, so tell us, I don't want to go on a tangent, not while you're here, Betty,

Speaker 2 I'm trying to be nice while you're here.

Speaker 2 Okay, so now. Oh, that's a change.
That's right.

Speaker 2 There she goes. She's got it.
I get no respect on my own show. No respect.
But I guess I have no one to blame but myself.

Speaker 2 No, you're good.

Speaker 2 Okay, so now tell us a

Speaker 2 tell us a Karen story because, God, do I love Karen's stories?

Speaker 2 Okay, so I texted you these two, and I'm going to have you choose because we'll do a do a part two if you want. Okay.

Speaker 2 You can, I can do the birthday cake, Karen. Okay.

Speaker 2 Or the Christian boys.

Speaker 2 Oh, God. I want to do both of them.
Okay, do the Christian boys first. Let's do Christian Boys first.
Okay. So you're talking a group of at least 10

Speaker 2 boys. Okay.
And they're ranging in that same 10 to 13 age.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 So apparently they were

Speaker 2 awarded this Great Wolf trip for something in their youth group. They're all wearing matching shirts.

Speaker 2 They're just,

Speaker 2 you know. Yeah.
You know, you know

Speaker 2 where they're from. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Little Hitler youth. Yeah.
Okay. Got it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Think think

Speaker 2 cult. Yes.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 they are a menace to society. Okay.
They're running around screaming.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 They're throwing an actual football in the building across the golf course. Oh my God.
I'd be, I'd be mad. I'd be so mad if this was happening.
Yeah. Because like, oh, if it hits you, yeah.

Speaker 2 Or a child or whatever. It's just, it's just rude.

Speaker 2 Of course. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 there's there. This is also video evidence.
So they get their food. Okay.
Okay. And proceed to have a food fight.
Oh.

Speaker 2 Little

Speaker 2 motherfuckers.

Speaker 2 We had to go up there and clean those table areas. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And it took hours because there's just pizza ground into the floor. There's salad.
There's ranch dressing. There's soda.

Speaker 2 It looked like somebody had just literally flipped the table.

Speaker 2 There's chairs knocked down. There is only one chaperone visible, and he's on his phone.
Oh, God. Of course.

Speaker 2 I bet this happens every day at Great Wolf Lodge: that there is a group

Speaker 2 of shitty children, and the parents are just as shitty.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they're just as shitty. They're just not, and they're not paying attention.
If my son is throwing food in a public area, if one of my kids is doing that, I'm going to yank a knot.

Speaker 2 I'm going to jerk that knot right out of their tail. And they're going to be up in the room for the rest of the vacation.

Speaker 2 We only wish that had happened. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Exactly. I'm sure they continued to terrorize the place.

Speaker 2 They're running down the hallways. They're screaming.
It sounds like somebody's being murdered in the building. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 So we have that long hallway we call Main Street. Okay.
Where you have your Build of Air, your Dunk Donuts, stuff like that. Yep.

Speaker 2 They're running down there. We're thinking they're going to slip.
They're going to fall. We're going to have a big, you know, incident.
Code three.

Speaker 2 Code three is a medical emergency. Yes.
Of like serious nature, where you have to call an ambulance. Yeah, there'd be a code three

Speaker 2 fist up one of these kids' asses. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Busted nose, you know, broke, you know, broken bone.

Speaker 2 Everywhere. Yeah, yeah.
That's what we're thinking, right?

Speaker 2 So they head into the lobby, and we've got that revolving door, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And this is also middle of winter. So the door is not revolving very fast.

Speaker 2 It's pretty slow, and people will complain because that's what people do.

Speaker 2 But these, these, these boys are in there, maybe four of them on each side, you know, of the

Speaker 2 doors,

Speaker 2 and they're pushing it. They're pushing the doors.
Now,

Speaker 2 our revolving door, when you touch it, it will automatically stop. Fair enough.

Speaker 2 Safety feature. Yeah.

Speaker 2 so so you got people pushing on it trying to put you know get it to open and like it's not going to do that it if it can't see you the motion detector if it can't see you it's it doesn't care yeah if you're in there yeah you know okay you have to stay in view of that motion sensor in order for the doors to not stop

Speaker 2 wow

Speaker 2 simple common sense so now they have four of them on in each one of the they like you know there's whatever 10 or 12 kids yeah and four kids in each section.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 So I can only imagine the doors are just stuck because these shitheads keep, you know, there's four of them in there and they can't not.

Speaker 2 They're trying to push it. They're stopping it on purpose and then letting it go and then, you know, pushing on the door to make it go faster.

Speaker 2 So they're like, you know, just screaming in there. They're pounding on the glass.
They're like, they're going to break something.

Speaker 2 So the manager of the day or manager on duty, the MOD

Speaker 2 he's he's done he's finished it's these kids are

Speaker 2 I swear they've gone too far they've gone too far it's enough yes where where are the parents where where are the parents and I'm a parent exactly where the where's the chaperone and now they're causing drama and inconveniencing and making other people upset because no one is there to tell them how to act like fucking human beings and here they're from a church group.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they're from a church group. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 So the MOD goes over and

Speaker 2 does the perfect thing. So he waits until the doors are in that exact spot where you can't get out, you can't get in, and he hits the emergency stop.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 Sweet. Now, the thing is about this, is the emergency stops, there's one on the inside and one on the outside.
Okay.

Speaker 2 so you've got the two side doors that you can use to get access the outside yep if the emergency if the if the revolving doors are not working

Speaker 2 so he gives them about five minutes

Speaker 2 and they're just kind of like they're like you can see them start to panic a little bit

Speaker 2 you know they're like why isn't what what's going on what's going on and then you got security

Speaker 2 You've got security there. You've got MOD and they just got their arms crossed and they're looking like freaking freaking the rock, you know? Wow.
They got their eyebrow up. They're just looking mean.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 he gives them a few minutes and he has security go out and push the emergency stop on the outside so they can release the kids. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he's like, wait till they get out there. He pulls their button.
And then it's wait till security comes back in until he pulls the inside button.

Speaker 2 So he's giving them a little, you know, like a little few minutes of like pure fear. Yeah, yeah.
I love it.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 he finally gets it to go again.

Speaker 2 They come out and they're looking like hang dogs. They're like, you know, oh, we screwed up.
Oh, man, sorry.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 We know you don't mean it. Yeah, of course.
But he, manager of the day, has the power to ban people from the property. Oh, ban, bam, ban, ban, ban, ban, ban, ban, ban, ban, ban.

Speaker 2 He's like, it's 10 o'clock at night. You know, we're getting ready to pack up and go home.
They want to go home. They're like, you guys, I don't care what you do.
I don't care who you are.

Speaker 2 Go to your rooms and stay there. Yes.
I'm going to get your, I'm going to get whoever is in charge of you.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 you guys are going to

Speaker 2 go. Scram.
Get out of here. Right thing to do.

Speaker 2 The thing is, security says they were down there at three o'clock in the morning. No way.
Of course they were. Of course they were.

Speaker 2 Because they have no rules. They are lawless little children.

Speaker 2 It's, I, I don't know how you feel about this, Betty, but I think that when kids get sheltered in one way, they have to act out in another. They don't know how to behave.

Speaker 2 They don't have the place, the time, the

Speaker 2 appropriate venue to get that kind of energy out. So they don't know how to act when they get out in public because they're so sheltered in other parts of their life.
I can only imagine, right?

Speaker 2 Or they're indulged, they're encouraged.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, that too. Yeah, you have the right to do that.
They're not told no, they're not told no.

Speaker 2 Do you get this? Yeah, I can't,

Speaker 2 first of all, you're an angel. You're an angel.

Speaker 2 I mean, I know you're doing this for money and you're doing this to feed your family or feed yourself or whatever, but at the end of the day, I can't even imagine what it's like to work at one of those places in a time when there's such entitlement and there's so little pushback on some types of behavior.

Speaker 2 As a matter of fact, people at the highest levels of our society are acting like these children are actually

Speaker 2 no rules, no guardrails, no law, nothing. And so everybody, when you can't even point to anybody in our society and say, behave like that, then where are the examples?

Speaker 2 It's certainly not here on the commercial break, that's for sure.

Speaker 2 I would think you have to have a sense of humor. You do have to have a humor.
Oh, absolutely. A sense of humor.
That's for sure.

Speaker 2 I mean, that's what you guys are in my Bluetooth, in my ears, and you're disassociating me from everything else going on. Oh, good.
Good.

Speaker 2 Okay, hold on. Betty, we're going to take a short break.
And then when we come back, then we will. I want to hear the wholesome story.
We're going to pull this on top of that.

Speaker 2 I know we got the other Karen story. Well, we got the other Karen story and we got a wholesome story.
I don't know if we'll have time for both, but give us one second. We're going to take a break.

Speaker 2 Okay. And then

Speaker 2 come back.

Speaker 6 Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.

Speaker 6 Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.

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Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 2 okay, so Betty, so what I want you to do is, I don't know if we have time for both stories.

Speaker 2 We may have to follow up with Betty because you know what? I'm sure that everybody. Betty might be able to be a regular.

Speaker 2 Let's update the Great Wolf Lodge situation. Let's see how shitty humans have gotten since the last time we talked to Betty.

Speaker 2 Because you only really will understand

Speaker 2 just how the depravity of some people in this and that are walking amongst us.

Speaker 2 If you talk to the people whose responsibility is to go around cleaning up their fucking shit, that's it, literally, their fucking shit, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, and that, and that's it, or work amongst that, you know, people at their worst, so to speak.

Speaker 2 And my opinion is, and I've said this many times on the show before, restaurants and people who work in the service industry see people at their worst for a number of reasons.

Speaker 2 At a hotel and a resort like Betty works at, you see people 24 hours a day and a whole cycle, right? Most of the time you see people, you're interacting with them for two or three minutes.

Speaker 2 So they're on their best behavior. But when you see somebody at over the course of a day, then and on vacation, then you catch them at their worst.

Speaker 2 Or when they're eating, because you have to do it three times a day, everybody is picky about what they eat, everybody has to guzzle down food.

Speaker 2 And so when you work in a restaurant or cleaning up after people who are in a restaurant, then you see the worst of people because people, for some reason, when it comes to food, they just they're animals, we're absolute animals.

Speaker 2 And so, God bless you, first of all, Betty. Second of all, let's end this on a high note and tell us a wholesome story.

Speaker 2 Okay, so I've got two,

Speaker 2 and there's they're quick, so

Speaker 2 there's this one is personal to me, and this one was a young father with a little baby,

Speaker 2 and the baby is trying and playing in the mining area where the water's coming down and you see you you see the kids they're there's they're digging for rocks okay so hold on one second so let me explain to those who are listening because my kids did this also okay yeah in the middle of what she's calling mean street where all the retail and restaurant and adventure park yeah and the adventure park is they have a um like a place where you can pan for gems they give you a bag it's full of rocks, mud, and sand, and then you put it in a pan and you sift it like you were sifting for gold, so to speak.

Speaker 2 But it's just like a little, it's a couple of wood canals that are made coming from a water fountain down into a pool, right? Okay, so go ahead.

Speaker 2 So you've got little baby playing in the water, thinking, like, you know, splash park, right? Yeah, you know, it's what we did in the pool. And

Speaker 2 like my kid.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 And she's got her sister's magic wand from MagiQuest. Okay.

Speaker 2 So if you saw the MagiQuest, it's like a scavenger hunt. Yes, I did see it.
With like magical items and the dragon and stuff like that. That's how they get an extra $100 out of you.
Yes, I saw it.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 I told my kids no. I'm like, no, you're not.
I'm not doing that.

Speaker 2 Wait till they're older. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So you know that they're battery operated and you don't want to get them wet.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 2 So baby's trying to put the magic wand in the water, see if it's going to float. You know, it's a toy.
It's a toy. Put things in water.
That's how things work. It's what kids do.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I'm seeing this and I'm like, oh, that's going to, it's going to ruin it. You know, and then there goes their 20 bucks, their game, everything's going to get lost.

Speaker 2 And I walk over there and I'm like, I'm sorry, sir. I really, I, I, you know, want to make sure that everything's okay with the baby.

Speaker 2 That's not a good idea. You know, he's like, I know know she wants to play with it.
She sees her sister playing with it. She wants to do the same thing.
And I'm like, I know.

Speaker 2 I'm thinking in my brain, what can I do to make this better?

Speaker 2 So I know, because this is what I do, there is a Build-A-Bear shop,

Speaker 2 and they have little stuffed magic wands for the Build-A-Bear. Okay.

Speaker 2 So I go over there and I'm like, look, can I buy one of those stuffed wands?

Speaker 2 It's not for me.

Speaker 2 It's for, it's for a guest. And they're like, take it.

Speaker 2 Oh, that was great. Take it.
Good.

Speaker 2 They cost, what, 30 cents, right?

Speaker 2 They're not that expensive. You can have one.
I take it over to the dad, to the little baby. And I'm like, this is for the baby.
This is for

Speaker 2 the baby. She can play with this.
She can get it wet. She can chew on it, whatever she wants to do.

Speaker 2 And it's got a little wrist strap yeah right yeah so i i put it around her wrist and her face and this is what makes it all worthwhile was just the smile on her face oh

Speaker 2 that's so sweet

Speaker 2 the dad was like i was gonna get her one you know like like he was gonna go get her one but i'm like no this makes me feel good too absolutely it's those little moments that keeps you at least coming getting up and going back to work.

Speaker 2 This is what gives me the smallest, things like this give me the smallest amount of faith in some of humanity because Betty,

Speaker 2 whose responsibility it is, is to literally clean up after you like you're your mother, like she's your mother, right?

Speaker 2 And she cares so much about the people who are coming in and out of the place where she works, that they have a good time, that they don't hurt themselves, that it puts a smile on their face.

Speaker 2 So she's willing to take money money out of her own pocket to make sure that a father and a daughter have an experience that's not dangerous and that can like the kid wants.

Speaker 2 I know this because I have the kids that are this age, like they want to do this, and if they can't do it, then to them the world is ending, right? Right. So, giving

Speaker 2 lending to that experience, allowing it to happen is the best thing in the kit in the world to the kid.

Speaker 2 And then to the father, it's like, oh, I don't have to deal with a total meltdown because you can't put batteries in the water, the fountain at Great Wall Flood.

Speaker 2 And then imagine the little girl who's like got, you know, high score or whatever of the day on that wand and then suddenly losing everything.

Speaker 2 Yes. Aw,

Speaker 2 you saved the day, Betty.

Speaker 2 Superhero.

Speaker 2 That's right. Our listeners are much better humans than we are, Chrissy.
I just have to say

Speaker 2 right now

Speaker 2 for sure. All right, Betty, I want to end this on a high note.
We don't have a ton of time, but I will tell you this. We will be calling you back.

Speaker 2 Save the second wholesome story, save the second Karen story. Maybe we check in with you in a month.
Continue to collect stories. Would you like? I would love to have you back.

Speaker 2 You're really our first listener caller, except for

Speaker 2 Will the champ, who called in very early on. And

Speaker 2 I can say I think this one was a winner.

Speaker 2 What a great experience. Betty, you're the best.

Speaker 2 I've got to tell you one thing before I go. Yeah, please.
I will never ever look at the wolf again without calling him the swim wolf.

Speaker 2 Swim, swim wolf. Rar, rar, swim wolf.

Speaker 2 They all have names. They all have a personality, but he is now wolf.

Speaker 2 I love it, Betty. Well, Betty, longtime listener, calling in to give us the skinny on just how terrible all of you are out there.

Speaker 2 Do better, people. Yeah, do better, people.

Speaker 2 But we do have to say there is faith in humanity because for every one of, for every shitty 10 to 13 year old boy that's out there making life miserable for people like betty there's a betty to make life better for all of us so betty thank you very much best to you betty

Speaker 2 we will best to you guys we will text you and we will check in uh shortly absolutely thanks again betty

Speaker 2 well i have to say i think having a listener on you know i've always been very fearful of having listeners on and here's the reason why even though i encourage people to call and leave a voicemail there's a reason why i encourage them to to call and leave a voicemails because then, you know, we can edit it.

Speaker 2 We don't have to play it if it's not, if it's not particularly interesting or good or whatever. I always get a little fearful that we're going to get dragged into a conversation

Speaker 2 that maybe, I don't know, you know, you never know. It's like a wild card that you have no idea about.
But I have to say, I had a pleasant experience with Betty, and Betty gets a gold star. 100%.

Speaker 2 A.

Speaker 2 She brought the drama. She brought the stories that were good.
I cannot, I'm still trying to get over how four 10-year-olds,

Speaker 2 I couldn't imagine. Listen, I did a lot of shitty stuff as a 10-year-old.
I put pixies, and I'm one of these kids. I am one of these kids.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to pretend like I wasn't. I put Pixie one of these kids.
Straw, Pixie, what do they call them? Pixie straw. Pixie straws, Pixie dust.

Speaker 2 I put that, like 30 of those in an air conditioner in a hotel room on a field trip, and then I turned the air conditioner on

Speaker 2 along with a number for three other 10-year-old boys. We did that kind of stuff.
So you're like, wolves. We were wolves.

Speaker 2 Oh, and one of the kids threw a pizza up on the wall. Like, we had a leftover pizza.
You know, they ordered a bunch of pizzas and we had an extra one.

Speaker 2 It was like, you know, the vegetable pizza or whatever. And he took it and he threw it up onto the ceiling.
It like stuck on that ceiling. But I will tell you what.

Speaker 2 The adult, we, first of all, we realized the error of our ways in the morning and tried to clean up it. Tried to clean up it.
We tried to clean up it.

Speaker 2 Clean up it, I will.

Speaker 2 Clean up it, you will, yes.

Speaker 2 Peter throw on what he did.

Speaker 2 But I will tell you what, the adults that were around us were going to be goddamned if they were going to allow us to leave that hotel without

Speaker 2 every inch of it being cleaned up.

Speaker 2 The entire class had to wait for 90 minutes while the maid came up or the person who was cleaning, the cleaning lady, came up, brought her little cart, and we had to take the cleaning solutions, the vacuums, and everything and do it ourselves.

Speaker 2 That's the way to do it. And it was clean.
It was as if no one had ever even stepped foot in that room when it was done because the adults that were with us made sure of it.

Speaker 2 And had they been or understood, been there or understood what we were doing at that moment, we would have been fucked. We would have been fucked.
We were fucked as it is. I got grounded.

Speaker 2 We got demerits. We got all kinds of, we had to write a letter to the owner of the hotel.
It was a whole fucking thing. I was a shithead at 10 years old.
I can say that.

Speaker 2 But never once did I ever think think about defecating anywhere except a toilet. That's just like a step beyond.
Why? You can't walk across the way and go to the bathroom? Unbelievable.

Speaker 2 Well, the crazy thing is, is that adults do it too. So my dad for years was, you know,

Speaker 2 a facilities manager. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He was like head of the, you know, and part of what he did was he was head of the maintenance department. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I mean, the things that he used to come home and say that were done in the bathrooms. Yeah.
It was bad. What are we doing out there? Yeah, that's something I remember hearing.
I was like, what?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't mean to fuss at you, listener. I don't mean to fuss at you.
But like I said, 99.9999999% of the commercial break listeners, I think, are like-minded.

Speaker 2 I don't think you would listen to the show if you weren't like-minded. I think it would irritate you, right?

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 so at least that's what I like to think. And I interact with a lot of you on text message and on email.

Speaker 2 But I know that there's one of you out there who has children that you just like let them do what they want to do because

Speaker 2 that's the path of least resistance.

Speaker 2 You are going to teach them by, but you are going to teach them by acting and essentially by telling them what to do.

Speaker 2 They don't know any different until you tell them what to do and shitting on the floor. And that there's consequences.
Yeah, that there's consequences for doing that.

Speaker 2 Oh, I wish they had caught those kids. I know.
I want their mug shot on every fucking Instagram reel from here to Tinbuck 2. And I wanted to say, these kids, these kids shit on floors.

Speaker 2 These kids shit on floors. And then puke.
Well, I'd puke too if I saw someone shit right in front of you. And you're behind a skee-ball machine where it's dark and cramped.
And

Speaker 2 yeah, why? I don't know.

Speaker 2 Why are you going back there to poop? That seems like more trouble than just going to the bathroom. Yeah.
And why do you have to bring your friends with you? Where did they even get the idea?

Speaker 2 Who conjured this up?

Speaker 2 I don't.

Speaker 2 Kids are so strange. Yeah, did one.
Were they playing skeeball and one kid went, I got to take a hot dump? And the other kid went, let's do it behind the ski ball.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it might have been like a dare. Can I see Uranus? The old dare.
Yeah, the old dare. I dared to do it behind a skeeball machine.

Speaker 2 And then just imagine the whole scene back there: a bunch of kids, just one shitting, one's puking on the other one's back. I mean, it's a whole nightmare.
Anyway, listen,

Speaker 2 I mean, this must be like death by a thousand paper cuts when you work at a place like this because you must see just the wildest stuff day after day, night after night, and have to deal with it.

Speaker 2 Oh, God. But then you have the sweet little baby.

Speaker 2 Well, you have the sweet Betty. You have the sweet Betty and

Speaker 2 the little baby smile and happiness. And then the other sisters' games were saved too.
I mean, Betty really saved the day. There is a small amount of hope, a small amount of hope for our world.

Speaker 2 And her name is Betty.

Speaker 2 If we can just get Betty,

Speaker 2 maybe Betty can be in charge of Doge.

Speaker 2 I think so. I think that's a good idea.
Yeah, we'll put Betty in charge of Doge and maybe we'll get some better results. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, the good old Doji. Well, thanks for calling in, Betty, again.
Yeah. And I think we're going to have to continue.
Yeah, so

Speaker 2 we've been communicating with a number of our listeners and

Speaker 2 whoever is on the phones. We have been talking to a few of them about potentially coming on.
There's a guy named Sean who has been a huge fan of the show for a long time. Love our Sean.

Speaker 2 And he's like a wildlife trapper. But like a wildlife trapper who traps like alligators.
Oh, and snakes. Yeah.
And you know, rabid raccoons and possums and all the things we hate.

Speaker 3 Is he in Florida? He is. Well, yeah.

Speaker 2 Maybe I'll let him tell us where he is. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to get...
Get him thinking alligators. Yeah.
It's in the southeast somewhere. Okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'll let him decide whether or not he's in the city. I just want to be the bad.
Just want to be careful about. Oh, yeah, maybe Louisiana.
Well, we'll ask him when he gets here.

Speaker 2 So if you want to be on the show, could you please

Speaker 2 text us 212-433-3822-212-433-3TCB. Start a conversation with us.
Leave us a voicemail or text us.

Speaker 2 Let us know why it's interesting to put you on the show, and maybe you'll be the next person, the next guest on TCB.

Speaker 2 Kelsey Cook and then Betty. Kelsey Cook and then Betty.
I got to say, they're both just equally as interesting. That's so nice.
There you go. All right.

Speaker 2 Also, could you do us a favor, please follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break. We'd love it if you would become an Instagram follower.
We have clips of the show, usually daily.

Speaker 2 I think Chrissy and I are going to try and get in the game here. We're going to try and make some content specific for social media.
So the only place you'll be able to see it is on social media.

Speaker 2 That could include clips of the show, me doing some fun Joe Jonas trend, or I don't know, eating a piece of cake or some shit. Whatever the kids are doing.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Don't expect too much out of us.
But we might. We might do it.
Of course, we just said it, so now it will never happen. But anyway,

Speaker 2 so just follow us at the Commercial Break, TCB Podcast on TikTok, and youtube.com/slash thecommercial break for all the shows on video the same day they air here on the audio TCB podcast.com.

Speaker 2 All the audio, all the video, and your free TCB swag. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.

Speaker 2 I will tell you that I love you and you. Best to you.
Best to you. And best to Betty out there.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Speaker 2 Until next time, Chrissy, and I will say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye.

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