TCB Coloidal Colada Coolers

TCB Coloidal Colada Coolers

March 05, 2025 1h 5m S6E707 Explicit
Episode #707: Bryan watched the Oscars, Krissy did not! The Oscars continue to be a snooze fest despite Conan's best efforts. Adrian Brody best his own persona record for longest (and worst) acceptance speech in history. While the producers of the Oscars forgot to make it interesting. Then, Bryan and Krissy decide to get into the drink business with TCB Coolers. Finally, Bryan has a run in with a few ornery tree guys and he runs away. Rev down everyone. Rev down! The Oscars 2025 recap Conan O’Brien doesn’t age A snooze fest Bryan’s favorite pastime: identifying when artists are lipsyncing Is Demi Moore a “popcorn actress”? TCB Merch coming soon The Commercial Break dabbles into the drink industry with the TCB Coolers Measles outbreak Bryan’s carpool incident Watch episode #707 on Youtube Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram:  @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Full Transcript

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So I'll do respect to your aunt, but get the expertise from the best at ChampionsofHome.com, California Association of Realtors. Who's your realtor? And welcome back to WSHIT's evening news.
It's news you can use before you snooze. WSHIT, lean and mean and first on the scene.
An update on the continuing health scare from Donna's Dairy Depot and Delicatessen. With over 137 people now affected by the ongoing dysentery virus found in the milk and cheese buffet, authorities have yet to stop the spread of the illness.
With almost all FDA employees now unemployed, Crabapple continues to see its residents fall ill with symptoms ranging from violent vomiting and fever to explosive diarrhea and tooth loss. The head of Crabapple's health department, recent RFK junior appointee Dr.
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A flame is going to come out because it will be on fire

and nobody will ever stick a penis in your butthole again.

And Dr. Skokul also added that residents should take

their daily dose of colloidal silver.

And we wish all the best to our anally challenged friends. We'll be back

after this commercial break.

On this episode of the commercial break.

Listen, if we were

in the wine cooler business, that's where it's at.

We're going to do a merch drop.

I'm not even going to say when because then it'll

never happen, but we're going to do a merch drop

and like Astrid and I are talking about it.

And if you want to see the next video, We're in the wine cooler business. That's where it's at.
We're going to do a merch drop. I'm not even going to say when because then it will never happen.
But we're going to do a merch drop and like Astrid and I are talking about it. And now I'm thinking wine coolers.
Why not? Wine coolers. Let's drop wine coolers and then some weird hangover remedy made of beet juice.
Beet juice and colloidal silver. I like it.
Maybe we should mix our wine cooler with our hangover remedy. Wow, tasty.
The drink that gets you sober. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.
2.30 in the morning! Oh, yeah, Cass and Kittens, welcome back to the Commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is the Mikey to my more, Chris and Joy Hoadley.
Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us.
Did you watch the Oscars? We haven't had a chance to talk about it because this is our first episode since the Oscars appeared. Did you watch the Oscars? I watched a little of it.
The Oscars? No, I did not watch the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm doing that Conan thing where he takes his hip and he moves it back and forth. You don't know the Conan thing? Yeah.
He takes his hip and he moves it back and forth with a string? I love that. Yeah, okay.
Alright, so Conan did the Oscars. I think, you know, he did a job.
He did just fine. Conan did just fine.
He was a steady hand on the ship. He did a great, I think, intro monologue.
He did a good job without offending too many people. He was really funny.
I liked the bit with John Lithgow. You know, Conan is a good host.
He's done this for a long time. He did whatever it was, 26 years, 30 years of late night television.
So he certainly knows how to work a crowd. He knows how to be in front of a crowd, how to deliver a monologue, how to be funny.
He's got a team of writers. He kind of never ages now that I think about it.
Conan doesn't age. Good docs or good genes? Question mark.
Hmm. Yeah, you're right about that.
Conan doesn't age. He's been on for that long.
He is. But yeah, I haven't seen an age.
Yeah, his first television show, of course, came on. Was it was he on NBC? Did he come on after the late night? Yeah, he came on after the late night.
After the Tonight Show, I think is what it was. But Conan O'Brien, you know, from moment one was a very skilled comedian and a comedic writer.
Oh, he's really funny. He's self-effacing.

He never takes himself too seriously. He's humble in the face of all successes.
And then when he got fired from The Tonight Show, he took over The Tonight Show for two minutes. And then when he took over The Tonight Show, he became an international superstar.
Yeah. Not because The Tonight Show did well.
It did not do well under him. But because he got fired in such an unceremonious way.
And then that pompous jack off, Jay Leno came back after he promised he was retiring, came back for another 10 years. You remember that? Yeah.
Yeah. That made me, I was never the biggest Jay Leno fan, but that kind of sealed it for me.
I was like, that's a really shitty thing to do to your quote unquote friend. But I don't think Jay Leno is friends with anybody.
I think Jay Leno is friends with Jay Leno. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah.
and his car. Yeah.
So I say all this to say that I think Conan is uniquely suited, like Jimmy Kimmel, to handle the Oscars or something like the Oscars, an award show that really needs someone who can bounce it along, keep it on time, tell jokes in between, improv when necessary, when he sees things happening, do it on the fly and move to the next one. But doesn't matter because the oscars is a snore fest no matter what it's just like that that's why i didn't really tune in it has really become when ben stiller came up and went like halfway up or something uh he was introducing some category oh he was i must say i must have taken a pee break during that because i think i watched most of it but i I don't remember Ben Stiller.
Yeah, he came out. He was introducing something.
Speaking of Ben Stiller, Ben Stiller's show Severance has now become the most watched streamed television show ever. Something like 539 million minutes of streaming watched or something.
So Severance, 97% Rotten Tomatoes score. A lot of people don't like it, but I do.
I think it's very good. I love it.
I have a love-hate with it, though, because as soon as I watch the latest one, I immediately want to see the next one. Yeah, you have to know what the next one is.
It's so hard to wait. They just don't do it like that.
I wish they would just dump a season on us. Dump a season on us, and then I can wait another two years for the next season.
I'm okay with that. They can move the production along a little faster.
That would be great. But I also understand it must be very hard to write this show.
There's a lot of loose ends. You got to wrap up.
They don't want to make it. And then to film it.
It's like a puzzle too. It is like a puzzle.
Anyway, we've talked enough about Severance. I'm a Severance.
I'm a cuck for Severance here on the show. But I thought Conan did just a fine job.
I think the Oscars is a snooze fest. I think it's really just become kind of a boring, you know, jack-off show.
And so let's talk about it just for this segment, and then we're going to move on. You didn't watch the whole thing, did you? No.
But I was getting updates, too, on my phone of, like, what's, you know, who won. So there are two moments of the show that I think were very interesting, and that was Conan's beginning monologue, kind of the first 15 minutes of the show.
They did like a very nice tribute to L.A. and moviemaking and to the people who suffered horrible things during the wildfires over there in L.A.
And the firefighters who, of course, were very brave and went in there and tried to save people's homes and businesses. So that was very nice.
And then there had been a lot of talk. And of course, it came true that Ariana Grande teamed up with, oh, God, now I can't remember her.
Or Vivo or... Cynthia Erivo.
Yeah, Cynthia Erivo. Cynthia Erivo, they teamed up to do their whole wicked thing.
So Ariana Grande came out and she's saying, somewhere over the rainbow. I noticed that she was lip syncing somewhere over the rainbow.
Now, I would imagine this has something to do with maybe her voice wasn't in great shape. Maybe she wasn't feeling good, something along those lines.
But I noticed that the music, the actual backing track and her lips were not 100% aligned. The cameras did not show close-ups when she was moving her lips while she was doing the lyrics.
But then I also noticed when Cynthia came out to do the Wicked song, you know, Defying Gravity, that she was singing. It appeared that she was singing.
You could hear the breaths. You could hear the lips.
You could see that Ariana was singing. That's like your favorite pastime.
It is my favorite pastime. I love to determine whether or not someone is lip-syncing, and I like to call it out.
Now, I don't have any problem with it because it's the Oscars and you don't want to fall flat on your face during the Oscars, especially if you have a cold. Listen, this is coming from the former singer of 33 Penis.
Okay? I'm not saying that I could do a better job. I'm just sharing with you that that's what I observed.
I observed that she was lip syncing during Somewhere Over the rainbow and not during defying gravity so cynthia comes out it's mainly a cynthia song that defying gravity there's a few lines for ariana and she fucking nailed it i mean 100 chills up your spine nailed that song every note of it and that to me i'm convinced she's that girl has got a voice such a tiny little frame and such a huge voice comes out of it i will share well no i'm not going to share that because then i'm going to get to comments and stuff like that i did uh brian should you this is one of those moments when brian goes should you or will you regret this 10 days from now when you have a list of text messages beating you up about what you just said? Okay, I'm not going to share it. Never mind.
You make your own judgment calls. But Cynthia has an amazing voice.
She brought the house down. Everybody's standing up.
And I thought to myself, okay, this is a great start to the Oscars. Let's keep it going as my children are screaming.
My children are doing their own version of Defying Gravity in the background. They're practicing.
But then, honestly, it just became a snooze fest. It was, you know, award after award.
The presentation style was not particularly interesting. Conan did not, he was not on camera enough, I think, to make a super impact on what happened.
He showed up for a few seconds, made a one-liner, and then went away, introducing the next people who were introducing the next category. And that, the way that they did it this year, for those of you that didn't watch, and most of you didn't watch, apparently, because I looked at the ratings, five people, Best Cinematography, five people nominated, five people came out on stage stage and then they would talk a little bit about that cinematographer but they wouldn't show the work that they were talking about enough for you to get an idea of what they were they actually did that's right so how the fuck am i supposed to make a snap judgment about who's supposed to win? Isn't that the fun of the award shows?

It's like, I have no fucking clue what they're talking about.

I didn't see the movie.

But if you show me 15 seconds of the cinematography work,

then maybe I can make a snap judgment and be a Monday morning quarterback.

That's what we all like to do.

But they didn't give us a chance to do that because somebody's yapping about them.

And I don't care.

I want to see the work.

If you're going to do best costume, let's see the costumes. Let's not say it.
Please. What? I don't understand.
It was a gimmick. It was a gig.
It was a gag. And I, I'm not sure it worked to great effect.
That's my personal opinion. But then there were, you know, all the winners came up.
They did their little, uh, spiel. Kieran Culkin, I thought gave a great speech.
Did you see Kieran Culkin's speech? No.

Okay.

So I'm going to talk to myself. Kieran Culkin.
I read about it, though. It was something to do with his wife and then the baby.
They would have another baby if he won the two awards. And it was in an Emmy or a – Something or a SAG or a Golden Globe.
And the Academy Award. Yeah.
They had two kids. They were going to have a third if he won one award.
when he won that third award,

the third kid award,

she said to him out in the parking lot, because he had always wanted four kids, she said to him, you win an Oscar, and I'll give you the fourth kid. And he said— The fourth kid.
Oh, they've already got three? Yeah. So he goes, ye of little faith, we're getting working on the fourth kid, which I thought was a very cute shout out.
It was a very cute anecdote that he said. And I didn't see the movie that Karen was in, but I don't care.
I've almost watched it a few times, but I haven't. What's that movie? Is it Jesse Eisenberg? What's it called? I Am Mine or You Are You? No, it was something about pain, I think.
Oh, okay. I'm going to watch it when I have time.
Astrid and I had the best of intentions, the best of intentions, to at least watch two of the 50. Love is Blind? No, I don't care about Love is Blind anymore.
I'm done with it. I don't give a shit.
It's too boring. This year, it's just too boring.
The Midwesterners are not bringing the heat, and I'm not all that interested in it. I understand that there's some drama going on behind the scenes, but it's more interesting to read about it on social media than it is to watch it on the actual show.
There you go. I know we'll finish it at some point, but we're just like, eh, okay.
We were going to make an effort to watch at least two of the 50 Best Motion Picture. We're going to watch Anora, and we're going to watch Conclave.
We're going to watch those two. I saw Onora and Conclave.
We have not gotten to either of them. Well, the thing is, I saw that Onora won, and it was a good movie.
It was not, in my opinion, it was not a movie like, oh my god. You know how some years there's those movies that win big, you know, because it's just like, whoa.
It's that movie. know yes i see why it won it was so good not that it happened for me there so many people are like this movie is life changing and i'm like life changing really i saw amy schumer like doing a shout out to the anora cast really and she was like this movie was life-changing life-changing in every way and i'm like that's a big statement to make about a movie and i we've all seen those movies for us personally that have changed our lives mine is pink floyd the wall because i was high in acid but anyway so you know it's it i get it but is it was it really that good it only made 15 million dollars at the box office i thought it was a a good movie, but a great movie, but I wasn't like, oh my god.

This is so good.

You know, so Mikey Madsen

wins for Best Actress.

And she beats out

Demi Moore. Yeah.

I think Mikey is the safe

choice for the Academy.

And I think Demi Moore... Her movie

Substance was good. Okay.
I mean, I really enjoyed that.... Her movie, Substance, was good.

I mean, I really enjoyed that.

Here's my take, and you tell me,

that Substance is in some ways

a grotesque and weird movie.

It's a weird character

that Demi Moore is playing.

It's not like a traditional

Oscar-winning role.

It's not a traditional Oscar-winning movie, but it was a very good movie and she was very good in it yeah but i think the academy who is now a little bit younger in age right they've kind of they changed a number of years ago they kind of you know put out the old and brought in the new that maybe that particular performance is a hard one to move like to check the box of and they go oh well mikey was really good and you know the my opinion is is that demi moore's the role that she played was maybe not like an oscar type of it's not a traditional oscar movie you know it's a weird french film about people crawling out of their skin isn't that essentially what it is isn't it about a substance that she takes? Well, yeah. I mean, for me, it was more about the take on Hollywood or just women in general, like aging.
Yes. And how if you had the opportunity to go back to being like a younger self of you, would you? And so you take this pill, this substance.
And then through that, there is a younger self that is born out of her body. And so that's the grotesque part is when you see the younger girl coming out of her body, right? It's like crawling out of her own skin, right? But let me ask you this, like you saw Anora and you saw substance, which one was the more, which one was, in your opinion, was the better performance?

I mean, the substance was more of like a shocking, you know?

Yeah.

I think that's the point I'm making.

Right.

Like, I don't know that the shock value of the performance outweighs Mikey playing kind of this vulnerable, edgy, sharp.

Yeah, she was really good in that movie.

Yeah.

But it wasn't life changing anything for me.

No, listen, I mean, you know, to each their own.

And then... vulnerable, edgy, sharp.
Yeah, she was really good in that movie. Yeah.
But it wasn't life-changing anything for me. No, hey, listen, I mean, you know, to each their own.
There you go. And Demi Moore, to be Demi Moore for just a moment, and that moment to be sitting at the Oscars after, I don't know, 300 years of acting or however long she's been doing it.
After all these years, years. From Bruce Springsteen videos to the Friends to being kind of called like, you know, a bit of a popcorn actress, I would say.

Like someone who doesn't, who can't do serious roles.

She's just kind of one of these, you know, light on their feet comedic actresses who did Friends.

What other performance has Demi Moore done that has gotten such notoriety in such a meaningful way as far as a dramatic actress is concerned?

She's done so many things, though.

Thank you. friends what other performance has demi moore done that has gotten such notoriety in such a meaningful way as far as a dramatic actress so many things though i mean i know she's been in a lot of stuff i mean not officer and gentlemen what it was um uh you can't handle the truth but um god what is that movie i can't believe i don't know uh a few good men oh a few good men Oh, that's she was indecent proposal i mean saint elmo's fire charlie's angel she's been in so many things it is hard to believe that she's like never been up for a huge award before i can't believe she didn't win she wasn't up for gi jane gi jane wasn't wasn't she up for an award for gi jane or strip or Striptease or something? Ghost? Ghost.
Yeah.

I mean, great movie. I mean, all of these, you know, I get it.
She's been so much. I get that they think that, I get that it's like popcorn actress, right? I understand what they're saying when they say that.
But when you think back on it, she has chewed on a few roles that were pretty groundbreaking. Striptease made so much noise when it came out.
Oh, yeah. uh um

no

not ghost

but uh

G.I. Jane made so much noise when it came out.
Ghost was a huge deal when it came out. Didn't Whippy Goldberg win an Academy Award for that? I think she did win for that.
I think she did. I know she did.
I think she won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress in that film. So, to be her sitting in that seat for just a moment and recognize that the movie that she just made is essentially coming true in real life yeah the whole premise of substance is happening right in front of her eyes the young lady beats out the older woman right who has seen her better days in Hollywood and has aged to some degree.
And it

was just like life imitating art in such a weird way. And I'm sorry, but I know there's a lot of reels going around with Doney Mara's face when Mikey Madsen's called out.
I think she handled it as graciously as possible, but you can tell. She was on a roll leading up to this and then she just didn't get it.
It just didn't happen for her.

Yeah, I think her daughter posted a post shot of her in a bathrobe with two huge bowls of french fries. She's like, whatever.
Somebody put it so sad that Courtney Cox didn't win an Oscar. I was like, that's not Courtney Cox.
I get the joke, but it wasn't corny cox okay um quentin tarantino did uh came out and announced best director i do have to say that quentin tarantino he's supposed to have a new movie coming out or something he's always he's retiring he's doing one more movie well that's but the one more has been supposed to come out for a while yeah but that's quentin all the time he's always saying he's making the next movie he's the next movie. The thing about Quentin is he's got to have his hands in every single bit of the movie, which I think makes those movies uniquely Quentin Tarantino.
But he's got to write every line. He's got to do everything.
He's got to make the lighting himself. He's like that Christopher Nolan.
The two of them and James Cameron, they're like super involved directors. But I guess the best directors in the world are the ones that really take control of every single bit of it.
And listen, I haven't met a Quentin Tarantino movie that I don't like. Exactly.
And I got to say that he is just such a cool cat. Like he comes out on stage and he's talking to people.
Is he talking to the crowd as if it was one person at a bar and you guys were best friends? Yeah. You get the sense that Quentin Tarantino is cool in any situation.
And I don't care how old the guy is. I think he's always going to be that way.
He's just one of those cool cats. He came out.
He did Best Director. Yeah, it's just him.
I just wanted to share that Quentin Tarantino coming on the Oscars made it just a little bit more interesting than it otherwise would be. Morgan Freeman showed up to talk about his friend Gene Hackman, who had just passed away.
Yeah, I did see that. Under extraordinarily strange circumstances.
Extraordinarily strange circumstances. Well, I don't know.
I mean, I guess we're going to find out what happened. But it seems like, and I've talked about it with a couple of different people, it seems like maybe, I mean, Gene Hackman was 95.
And in failing health, according to some people. It seems like maybe he died, and then the wife maybe committed suicide with the pills.
And then there happened to be a dog that was in the kennel, and it died, too, of starvation. Yeah, it's nine days, ten days.
Yeah, they didn't find him for like nine or ten days. She was mummified.
Yeah, I mean, that's a long time. So at first, it was shocking because you're like, all three of them dead, and it it seemed like fresh and it just happened.
But I think the timeline of events may have been different for all of those things to have happened. Yeah, I don't disagree with you.
And when I first read about it, at first I thought, oh, there's something nefarious. Right, of course.
There's bandits going around Santa Fe, New Mexico killing people. Yeah, or carbon monoxide people were talking about.
Or murder, suicide or something along those lines.

But then when you hear the, at least the description of the scene, it appears one died first and the other one went after because of whatever. Or she died and she was his caretaker and he fell on the floor and couldn't get up.
Something along those lines. I don't really, obviously, you know, more information to come.
But when they talked about the dog dead, I was like. Right.
But, you know, hey, listen, it is not strange for people, older people, to die with their

d***s. Obviously, more information to come.
But when they talked about the dog dead, I was like, oh. But hey, listen, it is not strange for older people to die with their dogs in the house and they get eaten by the dog.
Yeah. And I know Blue would be the first one to take a bite out of me.
I know she would. Okay? That's why I don't like Blue.
Because I know that Blue would turn on me in a heartbeat. She may seem all small and not very ferocious, but if she didn't have food, that dog wouldn't go three hours and she'd start chewing on my penis.
I know it. I just know it.
All right. I do have to also share that, you know, I liked the, they did a performance of The Wiz, which I thought was fine.
Queen Latifah did a fine job. It was fine.
And Ariana Grande and Cynthia and a couple other people in the front row started dancing, but the rest of the Academy didn't even bother to stand up. And I mean, it's the whiz.
It's like, you know, I don't know. I thought it just showed just everybody in the audience is boring too.
None of them are standing up and dancing in this extremely soulful, you know, catchy song. Ariana and Cynthia figured it out.
Why didn't everybody else stand up? You don't have to dance. You can just stand up and do a little, you know, head bopping.
But they didn't put any other great music in the show. I mean, you had the Bob Dylan biopic that was there.
There's so much great music from some of these movies every year. You could have showcased some of this stuff.
And instead you pick The Wiz,iz really i mean i know that quincy jones was winning an award but the whiz was like the only song besides the wicked song that made any kind of impression on me whatsoever there only three songs played the entire time the other one was uh the other one was i think it was another whiz song i think they did two whiz songs two whiz songs the whiz came out in 1971 it's 2025 i get it i get why you're doing it i get the through line here but i think you could have uh added some pop some music something to move the festivities along just a little bit because then in the end the most boring thing that happened the entire night was adrian brody's insufferable six minute acceptance speech adrian did this 26 years ago when he won for the pianist and then he did it again this time he literally told them to shut the music off while he finished what he had to say and then he had to say nothing not a fucking thing that meant anything be good to each other okay that's great adrian we already know that we get it he basically made the same speech 26 years uh difference and and just almost the same length he beat out everybody else for the longest acceptance acceptance speech ever present ever in the history of the academy ever and he only beat himself out for that particular award he is insufferable patting himself on the back and talking about acting is a tough job and it's a fragile profession i don't disagree but this is like there's millions of people across the world that are watching you like i don't know it just came across as very insult like very jerking himself off and i didn't i i didn't care for it adrian's a fine actor i've seen him in a lot of stuff and i like him when he's acting i want to watch the brutalist but it's three and a half hours long it's just as long as that fucking acceptance speech for god's sakes you have to block off some serious time. It was so long that Hulu decided to cut off the last 12 minutes of the show because they had a hard out at whatever time it was, 1045? Something to do with Hulu.
Hulu was live streaming it because ABC, Hulu, Disney, and they cut off the last 12 minutes of the show. Which is basically where you find out best picture, right?

Where you find out best picture.

Now, listen, you didn't miss anything.

I'm just sharing with you.

You didn't miss anything.

They could have cut out Adrian's fucking half of his acceptance speech and probably gotten an extra 30 minutes on there.

I think it went on forever.

Anybody who watched it live knows what I'm talking about.

It was insufferable, incoherent, and irrelevant as far as I'm concerned.

I think we should all be good to each other. I get the message, Adrian, but honestly, enough is enough.
30 seconds. Fine.
Move on to the next one and play a song that's been made in the last 50 years. All right, we'll take a break and I'll stop talking about the Oscars.
We'll be back. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB.
And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.
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All right, I do also have to just say, I promise this will be the last thing I say about the Oscars. Where was the star power for the Oscars? No Clooney, no Brad Pitt, no Uma Thurman.
No, I mean, there were like all the regular kind of like, you know, grandfathered in actors and actresses that we usually see all dialed up, you know, sitting there in the front row. None of them there.
I thought Uma Thurman was there. I didn't see Uma Thurman there, but I just noticed.
And then I read there was was a lack of kind of that typical Hollywood elite that they're there. Not that it would have made it any different, but at least seeing Clooney all dressed up.
That's a nice thing. You like to see Clooney dressed up.
He's a handsome guy. He is a handsome guy.
You look at the Oscars, and they probably show it. If Clooney's there, they're showing him six or seven times during the Oscars.
He's got that expressive face. Because he didn't really have a movie out.
No. Clooney hasn't had a movie in like 10 years.
Where did Clooney go? What's the last movie he did? Lake Como. Yeah, Lake Como.
That's it. Yeah, I guess when you have a private island in Italy, you don't go many places.
Right. It's a fallacial estate.
Oh, my God. To be Clooney.
And all you have to do is those coffee commercials every couple of weeks. you make $100 million.
I mean, we also sold the tequila, you know, the tequila brand. Oh yeah, that's right.
They don't need anything. Why don't we have a tequila brand? Why don't we have something that's like of value? Because the content certainly isn't it.
I mean, I'd like it to be, but that's not making us any money. Why don't we start a wine or something? I would love that.
Brian and Chrissy's wine coolers? TCB lights? TCB bubbles? A wine cooler. A wine cooler.
Like a really syrupy blue raspberry wine cooler. I like that idea.
TCB, giving you a headache on a Tuesday night.

Yeah, like really cheap.

Yes.

We'll get you drunk and make you feel like junk.

Why not?

TCB, wine coolers for teenagers.

We'll target teenagers for our sales.

We'll get like a Joe Camel character going on so we can target the teenagers. We'll sell them at the vape shop.
I think due to Doge deregulations I think you can market alcohol and cigarettes to kids. Isn't that true? It's got to be.
I don't know. Listen, if we were in the wine cooler business that's where it's at.
We're going to do a merch drop. I'm not even going to say when because then it will never happen.
But we're going to do a merch drop and like Astrid and I are talking about it. And now I'm thinking wine coolers.
Why not? Yeah, let's do it. Let's drop wine coolers and then some weird hangover remedy made of beet juice.
Beet juice and colloidal silver. I like it.
Maybe we should mix our wine cooler with our hangover remedy. Yeah, tasty.
The drink that gets you sober. The alcoholic drink that gets you sober.
Brian, TCB wine coolers. That's good for the kids.
TCB wine coolers. Take the kids.
Take the keys away. Hey, listen.
It works for everybody else. You know, I see that Sam Murill and his buddy, Mark Norman.
And they have a whiskey brand. I think it's a whiskey brand.
They have a whiskey brand. And I see them out there promoting that all the time.
And they're at parties. And they're at restaurants they're eating steaks and they're drinking drinks and they're taking promotional pictures.
It looks like a ton of fucking fun. Yeah.
And while I don't drink all that much, that's not to say I wouldn't just to get to become a billionaire. I'd stay drunk for a couple more years.
You know what I'm saying? I could deal with my kids if I had a private plane. If I had a private plane, I could drink wine coolers till I'm blue in the face.
TCB wine coolers. Helps with the kids.
May turn your skin blue. Colloidal silver.
That's it. Colloidal silver.
We're making wine coolers and the flavors are going to be colloidal silver, homegrown vaccine. We're going to do a bunch of them it's just gonna all be weird conspiracy theory names and we're gonna mix all kind of tonics and and stuff in there because the content is not making us a millionaire for sure we're far from that but if we could get some kind of cocktail or something that we could go sell and then just we sell it to the bigger liquor distributors.
Right. Isn't that how it works? Yeah, I guess.
I don't know. I feel like I've known a couple of people that have tried to break into that.
It's so hard. Yeah, it's really hard.
Yeah, I had a guy. I think that's maybe why the celebrities do it is because they at least have a name.
Yes. To put with it.
Yeah, that's it. You got to have like, it's really hard to convince a distributor to put those on shelves.
And then it's super hard to convince the people who own the stores to give you shelf space. And if you don't have the shelf space, you're not selling the liquor.
Like, it's all, it's really a racket is what it is. But so are cereal aisles, too.
It's the same thing. You can't make a new cereal and get into Publix.
It just doesn't work that way. You have to show them that you can sell, convince them to, you know, you've watched an episode of Shark Tank, you know how it goes.
I get all my information from Shark Tank, okay? Kevin O'Leary. But I will share that I had a friend who started a energy drink business, like an energy drink water.
And they went around to every mom and pop gas station. We all know the ones, the ones that sell crack pipes and they have a Bitcoin, you why brian 3000 why brian 3000 they have a bitcoin machine in the corner you know where you could buy bitcoin by putting money into the till uh we all know those gas stations and they went around to every gas station in the southeast trying to get that sold and they did they would sell like a case at a time or whatever and they were doing this all out of the back of their truck.
And this went on for seven fucking years. They tried to get Coca-Cola to buy it.
They tried to get Pepsi to buy it. They tried to get, you know, distributors to buy it.
They tried to get some kind of help. And no one, and no one would even take a meeting with them.
They were like, yeah, get a number. Everybody's got this same idea.
And everybody's doing the same fucking thing that you're doing. And by way we can just make our own why would we buy yours we can just make our own we already have all the facilities and everything to do it it's a really really retail is a really really tough business to get into but then soda drinks or energy drinks or waters forget about it that's really tough but since we are such notable podcasters i, we're like number 106 on the comedy charts.
So since we're like number 106 on the comedy charts, I think we could sell a case or two of this blue colloidal silver energy slash COVID vaccine slash drink and I'll get you sober before you get drunk kind of drink. It's a magical drink.
It fixes everything. And it's endorsed by RFK Jr.
That's all I got to say. What else do you need? Yeah.
By the way, not going to talk too much politics here, but you notice that RFK Jr. is singing a new tune about the measles vaccine? Yeah, he's realizing that under his watch, he doesn't want millions of people to die yeah so he's like uh about that measles vaccine that measles thing is scary that's very scary it's scary i started thinking about i was like am i updated when i don't remember when i had mine i don't know are you just updated for the rest of your life yeah i got one like 10 years ago i think i think i got one about a decade ago okay um When I turned a certain age, when I turned 20 about a decade ago, I did get an update.
I got like tetanus. I remember getting like an updated tetanus shot.
I got tetanus and an MMR shot, I think. Measles, mumps, and rubella.
Yeah. That's all we need is rubella to come back.
What is rubella and I don't want it to come back. Measles sounds terrible.

Measles is like chicken pox on fire. It sounds really bad.
Yeah, you do not want the measles. Your brain swells, I think, too.
Your brain swells, you get super fevers. And you don't get rid of it.
No, it stays with your body the entire time. It's just like the chicken pox virus.
It stays in you dormant, ready to come alive at the next, you know, shitty, stressful period in your life and attack you.

It's not a good thing.

And, you know, it can morph.

It can mutate. And that's why in the last hundred years or whenever they've started the measles vaccine, there have been few, if any, fatal cases of the measles.
And now there've been six in a short period of time. And, you know, I think i think listen people can be wrong and then they can be right and you got to applaud them when they're right right and so i do applaud the fact that rfk has come out and said take the measles vaccine it does save lives yeah i can applaud that but i mean all the damage is already done there's like 168 people in texas that have the fucking measles, and most of them are children.
And it's like some of my kids do not have their full course of vaccinations yet. And I'm just sharing that I firmly believe in the science, and every other doctor that I've talked to has said so.
The only people who have cautioned me against vaccines are people who don't wear shoes and smell like a dirty rat. Do you know what I'm saying? They're still looking for their career path at 67 years old, and that seems to be following fish in a van.
So listen, whatever it is you personally choose to do, do it. That's fine.
But also, there is this community aspect that is to be considered, that if the measles mutates and becomes something we're not vaccinated against most of us, then it becomes a real shit show. And I think that is the concern now.
It's like, yeah, yeah, welcome. Round two.
We're all going to. Yes, this is idiocracy live.
It's happening to us live. It's fucking insane.
Speaking of idiocracy, I share a personal story that I'm sharing this as a cautionary tale. And I will say this before I get started.
I am not proud of the way anybody acted here, except for the innocent person involved in this. And then I'll share this.
The other day. I go to pick up one of my kids from school, one of my daughters from school.
And this, her school is in a, I didn't want to say that it's in a building that can, that is multi-purpose. So it's not just a school.
There are other things that are going on there, but it's very small. It's not a big school at all.
It's probably 70 kids in the entire school. And this is not a regular school.
This is like a preschool, right? So there is a decent-sized parking lot there. And the parking lot is like every other parking lot you have ever been in in your entire life.
And that is two rows on opposite sides parking spaces one side on one side behind it is the building on the other side is a forest a county forest okay okay and walking trails and stuff like that but that is also very small so parking lot two rows of parking spots and then a lane for people to drive in you understand what a parking lot is i don't need to explain it to you. Yeah, thanks for the visual.
All right. So I go in this little traffic circle to go pick up my daughter, and then you can either go right into the parking lot, you can go out that way, or you can go left into the parking lot, and you can go that way.
Two different streets, two different ways to go, and I like to go left. I could go right, but I like to go left.
That's just the way that it is. When I am approaching the traffic circle, I notice that there are cones in the parking space.
If I was to take that left, there are cones in those parking spaces. And I can see at the corner of the parking lot near the exit is a tree truck.
Someone is cutting down trees. It's got the big grinder on the back of it.
And there are a couple of guys over

there with the yellow vests on and I can see that they're doing some work. Fine, whatever.
Okay, I guess they block off the parking spaces. So that in case any tree limbs fall, no one gets hurt or they need the room to navigate.
I don't know. I don't care.
I don't think much of it. So as I pick up my daughter around the traffic circle and the middle of the parking lot, and then I go to the left.

I'm driving by where the cones are,

and there is a guy that's picking up one of the cones from one of the parking spaces. I've got my windows down.
It's a nice day. As I'm driving by him, he whips around, whips the cone at my car and screams obscenely.
Now, listen, I'm not throwing stones in a glass house. I do not have the, I am not exactly the picture of vocabulary.
I often use cuss words in my daily life, and I don't shy away from doing that around my children either. I think they need to understand how real people talk.
I think we were talking about this with Kathleen Madigan, who will be on next week. So week so he goes motherfucker did you not fucking see i'm putting fucking cones here he's screaming at me he's got a hard hat on he's probably 20 something years old long hair long beard you know screaming at me windows are down daughters in the car seat in the back and i was like no i did not and i was like fuck you right Because now I'm pissed.
He's thrown a cone at the car seat in the back. And I was like, no, I did not.
And I was like, fuck you. Right.
Cause now I'm pissed. He's thrown a cone at the car.
He's screaming obscenities while my daughter is in the back. That's a scary thing probably for a little kid, but it's also scary for me because I don't know what this guy's intentions are.
You know, I see that you have the yellow vest on. I understand that you're upset, but I don't know what about.
I don't see you putting cones anywhere where I'm not supposed to be driving. The lane is clear.
That's where I'm going. And so he runs around the car to the side of my car, grabs on the inside of the car, and is screaming at me through the window.
You can't fucking see I'm fucking blocking this lane here. Can you fucking see that? And I drove.
I just drove. That's what I did.
I just said, nope, not even staying here for this. I am driving.
But as I am driving forward, another young guy, they're like twins, right? Long hair, long beard, hard hat, yellow vest, the whole nine yards on. Jumps from.
So now I'm driving toward the exit. And there is a guy there sitting near the truck.
And he runs out into the middle of the road and throws his hands up. Yes.
And now he's screaming at me. There's a fucking tree coming fucking down.
The fuck you think you're doing, you fucking asshole? And I'm like, I don't fucking care. That's what I said to him.
I don't fucking care. And I drove and he, now both of them, by the way, now the other guy has run up to the car.
So now there's two guys standing there screaming profanities into my window. And I say, I don't fucking care.
I'm going home. That's what I said.
And I drove and I drove out of the parking lot. There was no tree down.
There was, you know, it was, they were feet, you know, 50 feet away from anything that I didn't see any work being done in the middle of the road. I wasn't endangering anybody's life, including myself or my daughters.
Had I thought that as embarrassing as it would have been, I would have backed up and gone the other way. But that was not happening.
There was no tree. There were no tree limbs.
There was no, I don't even, those guys weren't even working. They were sitting there yelling at me.
It's like, what are you doing? So I drove as fast as I could and I sped out of the parking lot. And as I sped out of the parking lot, I'm like, holy shit.
Because I'm sure some of the parents saw that, right? They had to have. It's not that far from where the traffic circle is.
Number one. Number two, I probably could have reacted a little bit differently.
Maybe cooler heads could have prevailed. Maybe I could have said there were no cones blocking the area.
But maybe I could have said, hey, do me a favor. Stand behind my car while I run over you real quick.
We'll make sure everything's okay. Second of all, it's not a police officer.
It's not like this guy has some measure of control over what happens. And there's clearly no present danger in front of me.
So if he was going to put cones in the lane so that people couldn't drive there, he hadn't yet done that. He was in the process.
But it didn't look like that to me. It looked like he was picking up cones from the parking spaces, and he didn't need to scream obscenities.
Yeah, that was uncalled for. You can see my daughter in the back seat because the windows are down.
Like, I can see that. I know that you can see this, and screaming and yelling like a fool is not helping anybody.
The guy simply could have put his hand up, right, and just said, hey, bro, listen, there's a tree being cut down there.

Can you back up for me?

Right?

Now, I also could have just backed up and turned around. But I just felt like I just in the moment, adrenaline took over.
Well, being screamed at, I was going to say, your adrenaline had to have been totally pumping. Well, he threw the cone at the car, too.
Like, that's a little much, bro. Yeah, that's aggressive just to start.
Yeah, it's like everybody is so on fucking edge all the time that it's really, it really is a scary time to be alive, right? This guy was so on edge about someone driving past him that he was willing to put people in danger, including himself, in order to get his point across. But what was the point? The point was what? You know, there was no tree down.

There was, if you really thought that people were in danger,

you should have put the cones on there

long before you decided to cut any trees down.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Well, right.

That's bad coordination too on their part.

Terrible.

I mean, it's pickup time.

Yeah, it's pickup time.

It's pickup time at school.

Yeah, let's not cut down trees.

Anyway, I'll talk more about it.

Let's take a short break and then we'll get back.

Rachel here.

While Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boy's room, let's talk turkey.

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Well, don't you? Ooh, that was some childhood trauma. Rearing its ugly head.
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PrizePix, run your game. Must be present in certain in certain states visit prize picks.com for restrictions and details yeah so there's my tuesday afternoon okay there's my tuesday afternoon yeah it was and then it kind of like it stuck with me for the rest of the day right i'm replaying it in my head my daughter is scared she didn't like say a word the entire ride home.
And I was like, listen, honey, this is a little hard to explain. But I drove by those guys asking me to stop because I didn't want to get into any more of an argument with them.
And I'm sorry that you had to see that. And even daddy probably could have been a little cooler head.
Like 99% of the time, I'm really not that guy. Like I don't go around yelling at people.
I'm actually quite the opposite. If you find me in real life, I'm just kind of, I'm just kind of, I'm not quiet, but I certainly wouldn't be the guy yelling in the middle of a grocery store or something like that.
But man, it just all happened so quickly. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I got nervous that my daughter was in the back. I didn't like the fact that the guys were in my car yelling at me, essentially.
And I quickly recognized that they are no state authority that I have to listen to. Get out of here, right? Get out of here before it escalates and someone says or does something stupid that you can't take back.
I mean, whipping a cone into cars, it's a pretty extreme measure to take over your tree job. You know what I'm saying? Not that tree job isn't cool.
It's cool. Tree job.
I know I've had whatever. Tree guys are tree guys.
But it just seemed a little hot headed for the moment. Yeah, it hit the car.
Yes, he whipped it right at the bumper. And I was like, wow, you know, what just happened? Anyway, that was my Tuesday afternoon, Chrissy.
The world is on fire. Everyone needs to take a breath.
Rev down. Rev down.
Everybody rev down. Hey, tree guy, if you're listening, I could have handled it better, but you could have also.
We all could have handled that a little bit better, and especially around the children. I love that the second guy came jumping out.
The second guy came to his defense. He literally popped out of nowhere, and he had his hands up with that yellow thing.
And I thought for a second. They really should have locked down that area way before any school pickup was happening, if that was that important.
Absolutely. If you're cutting down trees and you're concerned about cars getting hit, don't even allow that lane to be open.
Exactly. Close it down.
And it wasn't closed. I didn't run over any cones.
There was no tape or cones or anything in front of me. I was driving on a clear lane, which anybody would have done because the part that was closed off were the parking spaces, not the lane.
If you needed that lane clear for the work that you're going to do for safety purposes, insurance reasons, whatever, do it like 40 minutes before you intend to cut down any trees. That's the first action you should have taken.
But no, you thought whipping cones at cars would be a better way to stop them from getting around the danger. I don't know.
I'm just sharing that with you. So, tree guy, if you're listening, tree company, we all could have handled that better.
I think that's clear. Okay? All right? All right.
Enough. Speaking of, you know, let's all rev down.
Casey Anthony is back. Did you see this? I did see this in the news as like a educational person or no, a defendant.
Wait. She is legal.
Legal. Legal.
Legal analyst. Legal analyst.
Yeah. A legal analyst because you've been encased in the judicial system

for years of your life.

Listen, Casey Anthony

popped on TikTok

and I don't think

she's had social media ever.

Okay?

Or maybe certainly not

since Kaylee Anthony

went missing

and then was found dead

in the trunk of a car.

Her daughter.

Casey Anthony comes on TikTok

and shares that she has been in the legal field, quote unquote, for 20 plus years. And that she is going to now be a legal advocate for those that are missing or murdered.
Young children that are missing or murdered, including her daughter. Hey, here's a little advocacy work on behalf of your daughter.
Don't kill her in the first place.

Unbelievable. Is Casey Anthony like the last person we really need to come trouncing into this shit show that we already have? Yeah.
I'm being dead serious. Please do not give this lady any breath of air into her social media.
There are going to be lots of people who buy into this bullshit. But I got to be honest.
When I saw this TikTok pop up, it was somebody else's reel that they were showing, basically saying the same thing that I'm saying. I was like, no way.
Did Casey Anthony just talk to the camera and say she's going to become a legal advocate for children in trouble? I mean, this girl was out partying while her daughter was missing for 31 days until she called 911. That's unbelievable.
That's like the worst parent ever. And now she's going to be a legal advocate for kids.
Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
Casey Anthony was like that. Remember that trial? It was like the OJ Simpson trial of the 2000s.
Everybody had their eyes on that Casey Anthony trial because it was just such a weird thing that happened. Casey Anthony claims that she left her daughter with some nanny, a Mexican lady.
She left her with a nanny while she went out partying with her, the guy that she was dating for a couple of days. And then she came back and the nanny said said she didn't know where her daughter was.
Well, it turns out that she was in the trunk of a car the entire time. And then she was buried outside in a plot of land, not too far from her parents' house.
And then her parents were strangely defending, but not defending her. Her dad was supposedly, may have covered some of this stuff up.
I mean, the details of the trial are just horrific. And a guy that's having children, I can't understand for the life of me how 31 days passes before you notify the authorities that your daughter is gone.
That's insane to me. But that's what happened.
And why anybody would ever take legal advice from Casey Anthony is beyond me. It's beyond me.
Why she would have the audacity to think that anybody would want to accept that advice. I hope this is playing just like it's playing for me.
And that is what a terrible fucking idea. But you know what, Chrissy? There is a dum-dum born every second.
There are a lot of people on this earth and most of them are not well. And some people will Casey Anthony, thinking that she's innocent.
Some people may not even know who she is. I'm sure.
And she will have her moment in the sunlight. And that's the part that drives me crazy.
Just like that O.J. Funkin Simpson.
O.J. Funkin Simpson.
I've watched another documentary. Oh, I saw that there's another documentary.
I was like, not going there. I am so down the rabbit hole with anything O.J.
Simpson.

And I don't know why.

I think because it consumed such a large part of my formative years.

Like it was like two and a half years of all of our lives.

Wrapped up and ensconced in nothing but the O.J. Simpson trial.

Right.

And just like everybody else on earth at the time, we were all big fans of the Naked Gun and all the movies that he was in. You know, everybody loved O.J.
Simpson. And then to think for a second that he would essentially brutally murder these two people was a crazy idea at first.
Then the slow chase, and then all the drama, and then the trial, and the backdrop of the Rodney King. And it's like it's a very weird period of time in American history.
Pop culture, certainly. But that O.J.
Simpson went twiddling away free as a bird. And he couldn't even keep himself out of trouble for like more than 15 minutes.
No, he got arrested again. Yes, for like kidnapping.
Yeah, he brought a gun to get some of his signed helmets back.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, OJ, honestly, if I had one piece of advice for OJ, if I'm a friend of OJ's, it's like, dude, God just kissed you on the forehead.

Never even think about jaywalking again.

Don't even think about it.

Go to the golf course. Make new friends your life be a good citizen never get in the crosshairs of anything legal again and yet he tempted fate over and over and over again he did that remember fox bought that if i did it documentary he wrote a book uh oj ballsy ballsy o He wrote a book.
OJ Ballsy. Ballsy OJ.
Wrote a book called If I Did It. And then he wrote how he would do it if he did it.
If he murdered his wife and Ron Goldman. And the crazy part was that it didn't matter because he was acquitted.
So no one could say anything to him. And he just pretended like, if I had done it, this is how I would do it.
And then Fox bought a documentary that had OJ talking about how he would do it if he did it so that they could put it on air. Fox, a bastion of class and taste.
Ah, Fox. When I think about class and taste, I think about Fox.
That's what I think about. Alright, well listen.
We're gonna be back tomorrow. Fear not.
Hopefully everything goes okay in the parking lot today. Well, I'm not going back to that parking lot for a couple of weeks.
Oh, okay. You're done.
I really thought some of the parents might start texting Astrid because Astrid knows a lot of the parents and be like, what just happened? Why was your husband in the parking lot screeching away? I got so nervous. And Astrid was like, who fucking cares? What? No one cares.
You know, whatever. It's just a thing.
It happened. And I'm like, yeah, but I don't know.
It felt bad to me. Right.
It felt like an exchange of negative energy in a way that I usually don't navigate in the world. So I got kind of upset about the whole situation.
I can understand. Yeah.
But, you know, what are you going to do? I apologize to the tree guy for driving around you. So now you can apologize to me for being an asshole.
You're probably like that all the time. You're probably a jerk off most of the time.
No, I'm kidding. I don't.
Probably. 212-433-3TCB.
212-433-3TCB. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, you can text them there, or you can go one step further.
Rev down. Leave us a message.
Tell us your crazy story that happened to you today. And then maybe, maybe, just maybe, we'll review that on a future episode.
Also, if you would like to be on the commercial break as a guest, you got something interesting to say, you just want to join the show, you want to say hello to us, text us or call us and leave us a message and let us know, and then someone will get in touch with you if we find you suitable for the show. And by suitable, I mean you are breathing.
Yeah. You can talk and you can breathe and you've got a good cell phone connection.
We're going to start taking listener phone calls, Chrissy, if you don't mind, if that's okay with you. I would love that.
What else? TCBpodcast.com. All the audio, all the video, more information about Chrissy and I.
You can also get your free TCB swag right there on the website. There's a drop-down menu that says,

I want my free sticker.

If you leave us your physical address,

we'll send you something.

No muss, no fuss.

We don't even keep your email addresses.

That's how dumb we are.

At the Commercial Break on Instagram,

TCB Podcast on TikTok,

and all the episodes on video

the same day they are here on audio

at youtube.com slash The Commercial break. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.
I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you.
I do love you. Best to you.
Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. We're shipping Mother's Day gifts with a rapid-fire round of questions.

Ready?

Yes, my gift.

Can you pack it?

Yep.

Ship it?

Yes.

Guarantee it?

Of course.

Oh, send gift baskets?

For sure.

Protect electronics?

Dog proof it?

Return it if they hate it?

Yes, no, and yeah.

Are you the UPS Store?

Hey, we have a winner.

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