TDS Time Machine | March Madness

TDS Time Machine | March Madness

April 05, 2025 36m

Mourn your busted bracket with The Daily Show's coverage of March Madness over the years. 

Jason Jones investigates a proposed all white, all American basketball league, with color commentary from Wyatt Cenac and John Oliver. Aasif Mandvi checks in on the NCAA's troubling compensation rules. Trevor Noah weighs in on champions and perfect brackets, before unpacking NCAA gender disparities. Roy Wood Jr. reports on Women's NCAA rivals and unequal treatment with Desi Lydic. And finally Desi digs in on sexism in the tournament with help from Josh Johnson.

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We were getting where we couldn't pay the bill. PG&E asked customers about their biggest concerns so we could address them one by one.
That's terrifying. That's fair.
Joe,

Regional Vice President, PG&E. We have to run the business in a way that keeps people safe,

but it starts driving costs down. I would love to see that.
We're on our way. I hope so.
PG&E

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As you heard earlier, March Madness. This is March Madness, our yearly national orgy of college basketball.

My pick for the finals?

I think Michigan State is going to get Duke.

That's right, the Spartans are going to get them Duke boys.

But there are those who wish basketball could return to a purer time.

Jason Jones has more.

Sports entrepreneur Don Moose Lewis is a dreamer,

hoping to strike gold with a brand new venture.

The All-Amazing Jason Jones has more. You need a hook.
We're using all white American-born players. Wait, go back.
All white? All white. To play and coach.
You must be Caucasian, and your parents must be Caucasian and born in the United States. Really? Yes.
You are 100% serious about this league? I stake my reputation that this is a serious matter. Can you stake something else besides your reputation? Well, I...
Quite fundamental basketball basically just got left behind. Yes, Moose hopes to bring basketball back to its roots before it was ruined by skillful play.
I'm trying to return the game to the fundamental game of basketball. Dribbling skills, shooting skills, passing skills.
Something called a playbook. But despite Moose's best intentions, he has faced a media backlash.
Whites only. That's the rule for the new basketball league that's bringing controversy with it.

It's just blatantly racist. So why segregate? Why not just say, let's have a fundamental league for everybody?

Do you want the spin or you want the truth?

I want the truth.

Blacks overall are better athletes when it comes to the game of basketball.

Yeah, they're black.

See, we can make anything racist, Jason. And yet you make it look so easy.
It is unfair to call me a racist. Of course.
I was a child of integration, forced integration by the government. And let me tell you something, you want to deal with racism? Friends of yours that are on the white basketball team are pushed off the team because now all of a sudden you've got a very talented black athlete who are going to the same school and the coach wants to win.
Now you want to talk about racism? I've lived racism. Moose has a dream.
A dream that someday basketball players will not be judged by the quality of their skills, but by the content of their skin color. We did a little experiment to show just how racist basketball has become.
That's it. That's it.
Stop them. Yep.
You just don't have the height or the jumping ability. There is a difference in the techniques.
But look what happens when you level the playing field with fundamentals. And more white people.
In fundamental basketball, we always call the name of the person we're passing to. Matt.
Jason. Jay.
Jason. Back to Matt.
Pass the ball. And I'm going to the hole.
One step, two step. Ah, foul.
Foul. You betcha.
Also a technical. We're mouthing off.
The experiment showed how necessary Moose's league has become. This is what I'm talking about though, Jason.
You see, here's this black player and he's mouthing off at a white guy. You see what I'm saying? A white guy of authority, he's mouthing off.
This is a problem we're having in today's game. He's an authority figure because he has a whistle? That's right.
Wow. That's right.
I have a whistle too.. Do you have it with you? Yeah.
Okay. Well, what are you doing with a whistle? Do you steal off a white player, a white man? I mean, you shouldn't have a whistle.
This is the problem we're having. And moose for the win.
Now let's break that down at the Daily Show Sports Desk. Thanks, Josie.
Boy, oh boy, the moose has been on fire today, running his mouth all over the court. He's burning up like a cross in my grandma's yard.
Boom. I got you.
That's because when it comes to the fundamentals, moose is the best. Let's take a look at that last comment again.
Here's this black player, and he's mouthing off at a white guy. You see, this young black guy here really eggs moose on by questioning the call.
A white player knows what to do when you foul. You say, thank you, sir.
You doff your cap. Solid point.
That's why Larry Bird retired. Too much sass.
But look here. Then he follows it up with a double move.
Well, what are you doing with a whistle? You steal off a white player, a white man? Look out, son. You're in Moose's house.
Big W, break it down for me. It's great stuff.
See, what Moose did here is he trapped him against the baseline with Mildenoff and then double teamed him with the age-old stereotype, the accusation of thievery. He's got nowhere to go except for, you know, strangling Moose.
In fact, I'm surprised he didn't go there. Well, I guess they just don't teach black guys fundamentals anymore.
What the hell? No. Why hasn't anyone thought of this before? Oh, yeah.
I mean, after integration. Well, to tell you the truth, Jason, what I'm doing is I'm not a genius, okay? You could have fooled me.
All I am is just speaking for the silent white middle America. I'm not here to please everyone or anyone.
Jason Jones, everybody. We'll be right back.
Welcome back! Oh, doctor. Now, Louisville's big win over Michigan Monday night ended a thrilling NCAA tournament, which saw even savvy bracket prognosticators completely screwed by production assistant Jay Franklin, who I think we can all admit got completely lucky.
I mean, note to self, fire Jay Franklin. But despite the NCAA's good works, there are those who would try to tear them down.
Asif Manvi has more. College athletes, they're princes of their schools and enjoy everything from the love of enthusiastic coaches to all the attention they get when they twist their poor little ankle out of their skin.
But there are still some students, like this University of Minnesota wrestler, who would spit in the face of the NCAA and defy their perfectly fair rules. My eligibility got taken away.
It got swiped. I couldn't compete for the University of Minnesota.
Why did they strip you of your eligibility? I had a song, and my name was on it. What made you think you could use your own name? Because it's my message and it's me.
Yeah, but it's not your name anymore. It belongs to the NCAA.
That's right. NCAA rules say athletes can't profit by using their own name in a song that they wrote that has nothing to do with sports.
Don't forget the NCAA is giving them the gift of education. I have 10% scholarship.
That doesn't cover a lot and on top of that I cover my living expenses. And then you're also making a buttload of money on this song.
Well this song hasn't made me rich at all. I haven't even broke even.
Right now, the NCAA owns the name Joel Bauman until I graduate. Let me tell you your first problem.
You're rapping under the name Joel Bauman, okay? Dude, Joel Bauman is the accountant of the record label. Understandably, the NCAA must also distance themselves from Bauman's degrading gangster rap.
Have you ever had a dream where we're too afraid to get it? Afraid what people might think if you actually tried to live it? If you buy someone's opinion, you have to buy their lifestyle. Put your ones up if you want your dreams right now.
But you're a good wrestler though, right? I'd like to assume so. Good, good, good.
I mean, you're going to keep wrestling, right? Yeah. Good, good.
Yes, this type of profiteering would sully the NCAA's image as stewards of amateur athletics. After all, their mission is to protect college sports from the corrosive influences of commercialism and to uphold the ideal of the student athlete who simply plays for the love of the sport.
But ex-UCLA basketball player Ed O'Bannon thinks he's entitled to more. I think college athletes should be compensated.
What for? Because there is an unbelievable amount of money, billions of dollars being made off the backs of these athletes, and everyone seems to be compensated except for the ones that are doing the work. Oh really? Billions of dollars Well, our research shows that the NCAA's total revenue is only six billion, so it's not that many billions.
And those One Shining Moment montages don't pay for themselves. Of course, we can't show you any of those because the NCAA won't license it to us.
But instead, we bring you this. It's one shining moment.
It's all on the line. It's one shining moment.
It's frozen in time. Okay, you get the idea.
But somehow, O'Bannon is still ungrateful and is suing them for using his likeness in their one minor little video game. No, not that one.
No, not that one. No, the other platform.
No, not the one for the Xbox. Not the Wii.
No. Yes, this one.
That one. Dude, I'm in a video game, okay? Last Airbender.
I mean, nobody's ever played it, but I'm in it. You don't see me complaining.
Did you get paid? Yeah, I got paid. Yeah, I'm not a schmuck.
Look, I stand by my lawsuit. I stand by this suit.
I couldn't believe these detractors were slandering this upstanding and open institution. So I went to the NCAA to let them respond.
I wanted to sit down with you to give you a chance to clear your good name. First question, why am I talking to a telephone?

The NCAA is not granting any on-camera interviews at this time.

What are you, Philip Morris?

I've spoken to racist Islamophobes.

I have spoken to a guy who makes asbestos.

You're the NCAA.

Our mission is to be an integral part of higher education

and to focus on the development of our student-athletes.

Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are you reading a statement?

Yeah.

Is this even the NCAA that I'm talking to?

Uh, no, this is your intern, Eric.

I'm just reading a statement they gave us.

But ultimately, when all is said and done,

the athletes know that the NCAA will take good care of them.

Yeah, I actually just came back. I was out for three months with a concussion.
But the school will take good care of them.

Yeah, I actually just came back.

I was out for three months with a concussion.

But the school will cover the expenses should these concussions lead to any medical expenses

after you graduate, right?

No, the school won't do that

because I won't be an athlete for them anymore.

Are you kidding me?

Okay, now I think I understand

why they don't want to talk to us.

Yeah,

they're kind of douchebags. It's one shining moment.

Asif Manvi. We were getting where we couldn't pay the bill.
PG&E asked customers about their biggest concerns so we could address them one by one. That's terrifying.
That's fair. Joe, Regional Vice President, PG&E.
We have to run the business in a way that keeps people safe, but it starts driving costs down. I would love to see that.
We're on our way. I hope so.
PG&E electricity rates are now lower than they were last year. Hear what other customers have to say and what PG&E is doing about it at pge.com slash open dash lines.
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If you skipped watching our show last night to watch the NCAA men's final, then congratulations on making good life choices. No, the game was amazing.
Villanova forward Chris Jenkins sank a shot at the buzzer, getting his team to the national title and getting himself laid for life in Philadelphia. Yeah, and it was such a great moment.
And it was also sad in a way. Because you realize now nothing in Chris Jenkins' life will ever top this moment.
Nothing. Nothing at all.
Like, he could deliver a baby on the roof of a burning building and then rescue the mother and child by using his parachute to glide them safely into an ambulance, and still the paramedic will say, oh, you, Chris Jenkins! That shot was crazy! Oh, thanks for your help. Thanks for your help.
Now, tonight, even more history is set to be made. The UConn women's team are attempting to win their NCAA record,

11th national title, yeah?

And this is a team who, amazingly, in their last 116 games,

went 115-1, yeah.

And their star forward, Brianna Stewart,

is going for her fourth national title in a row.

So the game should have ended by the time this airs on TV.

So congratulations, UConn! The game should have ended by now on TV. So congratulations, Syracuse, on the amazing upset.
What a game! We'll edit the right one in later when we see who wins. Yeah, we'll edit that.

You know, the unfortunate thing here is that there's less attention on tonight's historic game. But the good news about the NCAA is that both men and women, players, you know, get exactly the same amount of money.
Yeah.

The NCAA tournament isn't even half over, but we already have an MVP.

Sports Illustrated reports

on the only person in the

world with a perfect NCAA

tournament bracket so far.

The odds of that are 1 in 281

trillion. Ohio neuropsychologist

Greg Nigel correctly predicted the outcomes of the first 48 March Madness games. Nigel shatters the previous record streak of 39 games.
I was actually pretty sick with a bad cold on Thursday. I woke up to call into work.
I took some cold medicine and I almost just went right back to bed,

but I knew I had two more brackets to fill out.

Wow.

Wow.

This guy had a cold

and he still managed to fill out a perfect bracket.

That is the worst overcoming an obstacle sports story

I've ever heard.

She's like, move over, homeless NFL

player. This guy somehow opened up a laptop

with his stuffy nose.

And

it really is just luck.

Right? Because when you have

this many people filling out brackets,

it's bound to happen eventually.

Like, if an infinite number of monkeys

filled out an infinite number of March

Madness brackets, eventually there would be a monkey that would be like, wait, why don't college athletes get paid? First up, March Madness. Last night was the final game of the biggest tournament in college sports, and it ended in a comeback for the ages.
Now to the end of March Madness, a year after becoming the first top-seeded men's team to lose to a number 16, Virginia has snagged its first title. The Cavaliers won in a heart-stopping fashion with an overtime thriller against Texas Tech.
Yes! Congratulations, Virginia! Wow! It took more than a year, but you guys finally did it.

You made the news for something other than racism, huh?

That wasn't so hard, was it?

All you had to do was get some young black men to work for you for free, and bam!

Racism solved, baby.

Done.

And I must say, congratulations to Texas Tech, too.

They had an amazing run.

And honestly, the last game was really stacked against them

Thank you. And I must say, congratulations to Texas Tech, too.

They had an amazing run.

And honestly, the last game was really stacked against them.

Because first of all, and this is true,

Texas had to deal with Ted Cruz rooting for them.

So, I mean, yeah, you know, even worse,

he was collecting all their sweaty towels.

What are you gonna do with those, Ted?

I have my reasons.

Also, I think the team would have done a lot better if the coach hadn't recruited Aunt Becky's daughter as their power forward. I have no idea why he did that.
All right, let's move on now to our top story. March Madness is the most fun way to gamble away your stimmy.
This year's tournament has already seen its fair share of upsets, like Oral Roberts making it to the Sweet 16. And I'm guessing from its name, also third base.
But the biggest shock of the tournament so far didn't happen on the court. It happened in the weight room.
The NCAA is apologizing after being criticized for the stark difference in the fitness facilities provided to the men and the women competing in the college basketball tournaments. Oregon's Sedona Prince gave us a glimpse of the weight room differences in a social media video last Thursday.
So for the NCAA March Madness, the biggest tournament in college basketball for women, this is our weight room. Let me show you all the men's weight room.
As you can see, the men were provided with a lot more equipment than the women. It did not take long for the NCAA to make changes, though.
By Saturday, the NCAA sharing the new setup for the women. Prince thanking everyone who helped.
Guess what, guys? We got a weight room. Yeah.
Damn, that's ice cold because that's not a weight room. That's just the rack of weights that you buy in the beginning of quarantine and then never use.
And honestly, this is surprising because usually the NCAA treats male and female athletes equally. I mean, they definitely pay them both the same amount.
But to be fair, at least the NCAA made it right. After the uproar, they gave the women the same amenities that the men's weight room has.
More machines, more weights, and they even added the guy who always makes way too much noise when he's lifting. This is how you know that I'm strong.
Now, it was upsetting enough when people saw the difference in men's and women's weight rooms, but it turns out that sexism in the NCAA is a lot like Facetune. Once you're aware of it, you start noticing it everywhere.
But it's not just the weight room. The COVID tests, different.
For the men's the more accurate PCR tests at the women's antigen test. Another complaint, a quick look at the official March Madness Twitter account.
The bio reads, the official NCAA March Madness destination for all things Division I NCAA men's basketball. No mention of the women's tournament.
The men have been provided with a brand new NCAA court with March Madness, the huge logo in the middle, where on the women's court, you're going to still see two lines for the men's line and the women's line for three-point shots. There's a volleyball court on one of the courts.
It doesn't even look like an NCAA game. There are differences in food options for the men's and women's teams, as well as the difference in gift bags given to players.
The men were given a large number of custom items designed for March Madness, while the women's had a few generic items, including a 150-piece puzzle and a towel that said NCAA women's basketball, plus an umbrella. A puzzle? Yo, that is a trash gift.
And what's even worse is when you complete it, it shows a picture of the men's team enjoying a free steak dinner. Seriously, how are you gonna give the players a puzzle? That is not swag, people.
When you look at all of this together, the differences are so stark, it almost seems less like sexism and more like the NCAA didn't even know that the women were coming, you know? It's so bad, it's almost like the women were knocking on the door and the NCAA was just scrambling. Oh shit, the ladies are here.
Do we have anything to give them? Uh, I ordered a burger for lunch. Okay, it'll work.
Just chop it up and save sliders. What else? Do we have swag? Uh, I think there's an umbrella in the closet.
Yeah, it'll work, it'll work. It'll work.
So, clearly casual sexism has pervaded almost every aspect

of the player experience at this tournament.

But it's not just a problem for the players.

It's also affecting the coaches.

There was also an article in The Athletic this morning

about some of the female coaches who are working in the tournament

and how the NCAA is basically penalizing them and their teams

if they have, say, a baby who depends on them for food

And I'll see you next time. Some of the female coaches who are working in the tournament and how the NCAA is basically penalizing them in their teams.
If they have, say, a baby who depends on them for food, that baby counts inside the bubble against the total that they can bring in. So that coach's team, if they want to feed their child, has to have one last athletic trainer, one less other coach, one less person in the traveling party.
Ridiculous. Okay, now that, that is positively ridiculous.
No one should be punished for having children. The children are already punishment enough.
Not to mention, asking a coach to choose between her baby and a trainer for the team? I mean, that's a really great way to get the rest of the team to hate that baby. I mean, you could be getting deep tissue massages right now if it wasn't for little Derek.
Now, I don't know why this seems so hard, but there's an obvious solution here. All you should do is have the baby be the assistant coach.
After all, a crying baby can be very motivational. What do you want? A blanket, a bottle? You want me to win the tournament? Is that it? Okay, I'll win the tournament.
Just please take a nap, take a nap, just take a nap. Oh, stop crying.
The fact is, the way that the women have been treated during this tournament has been disgraceful. I mean, the only silver lining is that it's made the NCAA's favoritism towards male athletes as blatant and impossible to ignore as that one guy in the gym.
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your teen safer as they grow. Like making sure they always have their seatbelt on.
All right, sweetie pie, buckle up. Good job.
Or ring the bell on their bike. Okay, kid, give it a try.
Nice. Or remember their elbow pads.
Knees too, okay? Yep. There you go.
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We were getting where we couldn't pay the bill. PG&E asked customers about their biggest concerns so we could address them one by one.
That's terrifying. That's fair.
Joe, Regional Vice President, PG&E. We have to run the business in a way that keeps people safe, but it starts driving costs down.
I would love to see that. We're on our way.
I hope so. PG&E electricity rates are now lower than they were last year.
Hear what other customers have to say and what PG&E is doing about it at pge.com slash open dash lines. It's home renovation season.
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That's StrengthenYourHouse.com. Let's get right into it.
Now, look, I know everybody want to talk about Trump, but first, let's talk about the opposite of Trump. Women's basketball.
Last night, the LSU Lady Tigers beat Iowa in a tournament that had record-breaking viewership, but it wasn't just who won the game that left people talking. Controversy following last night's game after LSU sophomore Angel Reese taunted Iowa star Kaitlin Clark.
Commentators and fans online calling Reese disrespectful and unclassy. But Reese pointed out that no one cared when Clark had made the same gesture in a previous game.
Oh, oh, did you see what that black woman did to the white woman who did the same thing to a previous woman in a previous game? Must tweet. Can resist must tweets first off caitlin clark herself was okay with the shit she was fine with it because caitlin gets that trash talk

is part of the game and i agree personally i think trash talk is good for sports sports is better

when there's trash talk even better when it might start a race war you can't see me you can't see me

And I'll see you next time. good for sports.
Sports is better when they're trash talk. Even better when they might start a race war.
You can't see me. You can't see me.
And to be honest, man, this was some good competition, yo. Caitlin Clark versus Angel Reese.
This might be the new Magic Johnson versus Larry Bird. This might be the start of a feud that bleeds into the professional and into the WNBA.
You think Caitlin Clark ain't back in Iowa right now training? You think she ain't right now dunking off the side of a barn? LSU might have messed up and created a monster. The last thing you want in your life is a white woman with a grudge.
You seen them movies? Them white women get mad? Hey, you get a white woman mad, they keep coming and keep coming and coming. Did y'all see Alien? That alien pissed off Sigourney Weaver one time, and then Sigourney whooped that alien's ass for four straight movies.
Then, then she went and stick the Predator on their ass. Earlier this week, we told you how LSU beat Iowa in the Women's NCAA Basketball Championship.
And there was some epic trash talk this week between Angel Reese and Caitlin Clark, and tempers have been bubbling all week. But finally, finally, a peacemaker has emerged.
Did First Lady Jill Biden get so excited about the Women's Basketball Championship game, she put her foot in her mouth. As she celebrated LSU's victory over Iowa, Dr.
Jill suggested both teams come to the White House. So I know we'll have the champions come to the White House.
We always do. So, you know, we'll have LSU come.
But you know what? I'm going to tell Joe, I think Iowa should come too, because they played such a good game. Yes.
Yes. No, you're wrong.
She's talking about peace and unity, y'all. Why shouldn't the losers be standing proud with the winners? Come on, Jill Biden.
You're trying to turn the White House into a participation trophy.

Nobody likes participation trophies.

Even the kids don't like participation trophies.

Nobody.

Nobody's ever came home after school

after the big game with a trophy like,

yo, check it out.

I struck out 12 times.

For more on this story,

we turn to Desi Light of Desi! How you been, Desi? Good to see you. Now, Desi, we've been talking about this story around the building all week, and I know you'll agree with me.
The whole thing, the whole thing on this issue comes down to one word, and that word is... Racism.
I'm sorry, but you think this is racism? Roy, I know racism when I see it, and this is textbook racism. A mostly white team getting an invite to the White House for losing is white privilege at its most insidious.
If I may quote Malcolm X. No, no, no, no, no.
You may not. You may not quote Malcolm X.
Got it. Got it.
I hear what you're saying, Desi, but this is clearly sexism. This this offer that this would have never happened in men's sports.
But women are expected to get

along and to share the prize

simply because they're women.

If I could quote the great Gloria Steinem.

Gloria Steinem.

Look, Roy, it is

racist to honor white losers

the same as black

winners.

Trust me, I have a unique perspective on race as a person talking to a black man right now. Let me explain to you how internalized sexism works.
Let me explain sexism to you. Dr.
Jill Biden treated these adult women like a bunch of high schoolers

who all had to be invited to the slumber party no matter what.

That's not what you do.

And I know what I'm talking about,

because I watched Handmaidens' Tale a couple seasons.

That's the name of it. Is it Handmaid's or Handmaidens' Tale?

Which one is it?

I don't know. I only watch Atlanta.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you. That's the name of it.
Is it Handmaid's or Handmaid's Tale? Which one is it? I don't know. I only watch Atlanta.

Whether it's racism or sexism, and it's racism, I think we can both agree on two things.

One, I know all the lyrics to Gangsta's Paradise.

And two, this was not Jill Biden's finest moment. Yes, Dr.
Jill Biden. Dr.
Jill Biden made a mistake. Maybe next year the White House should have Vice President Kamala Harris extend the invite.
You know, another strong woman. A strong black woman.
Who made U.S. It's her story.
Not to mention, she knows how to kick it at the cookout, know what I mean? That's right. Girl boss.
Yeah. Yeah, give it all.
We're in the final stretch of March Madness, that special time of year that turns every office into an underground gambling ring. And last night, all eyes were on a rematch between two of the biggest stars in the tournament.
In goat fashion, Caitlin Clark led Iowa over defending champion LSU in a rematch of last year's final. For anyone who questioned her greatness, Kaitlin Clark had the answer.
41 points, 9 threes, 12 assists. A record-breaking masterpiece that lived up to the hype of a rematch in an epic battle of greats.
Clark steps back, fires. You bet! Oh, my! From Schenectady! She's simply ridiculous.
She's possessed! This poor announcer, Caitlin Clark, hit so many big shots that the guy was clearly running out of things to say. She's ridiculous! She's possessed! She's a witch.
Drown her. I don't know.

But honestly, honestly, what an awesome rivalry. Caitlin Clark and Angel Reese, two fierce competitors playing their hearts out, captivating the nation while they're still in college.

My biggest accomplishment in college was getting a single dorm because of my

IBS. Hey, if there was a sock on the door, it was an especially bad night.
Point is, it feels like women's basketball is having a moment this year, and you can tell by how much the media can't stop talking about how they're talking about it. What a great thing for women's sports that we care.

We're talking about it. What a great thing for women's sports that we care.
We're talking about it tonight on CNN because people are caring. And ultimately, that is good.
We care. The fact that we're talking about women's basketball and women's sports in general.
I mean, this is really great. I freaking love it.
It's really great. I've done this for 32 years.
I've never once spent five minutes of any show I've ever done anywhere talking about a great women's game last night at any level. Okay, I might say more about you, but we'll take the win.
We'll take it. That's right.
People are excited about women's basketball right now. They're discovering it like it's the first time your mom tried sushi.
Oh my God. Have you heard about this? Spread the word.
But everyone is raving. Everyone, even Shaquille O'Neal said women's basketball this year is a better game than men's basketball.

Yeah. Yeah, and he's like the most famous men's basketball player.
That's like Chef Boyardee telling you he only eats SpaghettiOs now. SpaghettiOs, the official food of clinical depression.
SpaghettiOs. Want to hurt an Italian person's feelings? Try SpaghettiOs.
One more. SpaghettiOs.
You don't have to love your kids. Anyway, think about how far women's basketball has come.
Ten years ago, if you went to a bar on a Monday night to watch women's basketball, it was because you were an alcoholic. But today, if you're at a bar on a Monday night, it's because you're an alcoholic who also wants to watch women's basketball.

That is progress.

So this has been a hugely successful college tournament for the women, even despite some obstacles.

In the women's tournament, controversy is brewing after four games were played on a court in Portland, Oregon,

where the three-point line was about six inches closer to the hoop on one side. The error was discovered before North Carolina played Texas in the Elite Eight.
Both teams' coaches decided to go ahead with the game to not delay the tournament. Okay, I really relate to this as a woman.
It is so classic for someone else to f*** up. And we're like, oh, the line is messed up? It's fine.
We'll just go ahead and play four games. You can fix it later.
Or not. Whatever.
I'm sorry. But what exactly happened with the three-point line? To get more on this, we go live to Josh Johnson at the arena.
Josh, what happened down there? The line was several inches too short. That's a huge error.
Well, Desi, I talked to the director of court maintenance who made the mistake, as well as

several other men who were just around,

and we all

agreed that your length being a few

inches shorter than everyone was expecting

is no big deal.

No story

here. Back to you.

Wait, wait, wait. That's not true.
Having the line be that short makes an enormous difference. Enormous is a little mean.
Plus, it's not about the length of the line. It's about how you play the game.
Okay? And, uh, I think we can all agree, it was

a pretty good game, you know? It was good

for me, I enjoyed it, and as far

as the difference, the women didn't even notice.

Alright? Josh,

even if the women said they didn't notice,

trust me, they always notice.

Okay, but let's give this line guy a break, because when I talked to him, he swore this had never happened before, okay? And we don't even know why it was too short. Maybe it was his first time, okay? Maybe he had been drinking, all right? Maybe the arena was cold.
Sorry, how does being cold make a difference? It just does, okay?

Wow, you seem pretty worked up about this.

Why don't we move past the length of the line?

Thank you.

Let's talk about the curve, because the curve was weird.

All right, Desi, Desi, I'm out.

This is why I only play basketball by myself, okay?

Josh!

Josh! Josh!

What do you say? Josh! Josh! What did he say?

Josh Johnson, everybody!

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on Paramount+. That's terrifying.
That's fair. Joe, Regional Vice President, PG&E.
We have to run the business in a way that keeps people safe, but starts driving costs down. I would love to see that.
We're on our way. I hope so.
PG&E electricity rates are now lower than they were last year. Hear what other customers have to say and what PG&E is doing about it at pge.com slashenyourouse.com to learn more.
That's StrengthenYourHouse.com. Me siento muy sola.
Me da vergüenza hablar de eso. ¿Cómo ayudaré a mis hijos si no puedo con mi vida? No recuerdo la vida sin estrés No recuerdo la vida sin estrés

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