Pete Hegseth Dodges War Crime Allegations & Melania Decks the WH Halls | Nikki DeLoach

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You're listening to Comedy Central.

From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news.
This is The Daily Show with your host, Dennis Lydon.

Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Leo Leining.

We've got so much to talk about tonight. Pete Hegza throws his Admiral under the boat.
Cash Patel puts on his big boy clothes.

And at the White House, Melania decks the halls that haven't been bulldozed. So let's get into it with another installment of The Worst Wing.

What a bunch of losers.

It's been a chaotic year for the White House, from the ballroom construction to a new decor style that design experts are calling leprechaun bukaki.

The point is that People's House is in rough shape, and I don't know if anything at all could save it now. Wait, do you hear that?

Is that what I think it is?

Who gives a f about Christmas stuff and decoration, but I need to do it, right?

Yes, it's a Christmas miracle.

The First Lady unveiled the 2025 White House Christmas decorations today. This year's theme, home, is where the heart is.

I love how she's touching everything like that. Would someone who hates Christmas do these?

Or these?

Yes, the theme is home is where the heart is. Or as Melania calls it, New York.
Can I go home now?

I mean, good God, she didn't even take her coat off. Keep Ka running outside.
That won't be long.

And while Melania was decking the halls, Donald was dreaming of sugar plums dancing in his head. Unfortunately, it was in the middle of a cabinet meeting where he somehow

kept falling asleep while people worked really hard to kiss his ass. As we speak to you now, Steve Woodcoff is in Moscow trying to find a way to end this war to save lives of 8,000, 9,000 people, Mr.

President, as you one know, are dying every week.

Geez, normally dudes fall asleep after someone blows them. If you're falling asleep mid-blow job, you should see a doctor.

But let's move on to Cash Patel, FBI director and man who just found out that Cash Patel is the FBI director.

And now a new report is giving people yet another reason to question Cash's priorities as director. The day after Charlie Kirk's assassination,

sources in this report say that Cash Patel flew in to Provo airport on the FBI jet and then refused to get off until someone provided him with a medium-sized FBI raid jacket.

One was found belonging to a female agent and taken to the plane.

Okay, obviously, as an enlightened progressive person, I believe that gender expression is a spectrum and we shouldn't judge people for what they wear. At the same time, gay!

but honestly you can't even tell that it's a women's jacket although looking back on it you can tell that he was up there thinking

I hope no one can tell I'm wearing a women's jacket

but come on throwing a tantrum and refusing to get out of the plane until he had exactly what he wanted to wear I know he borrowed a woman's jacket but did he borrow her period too

And getting his jacket wasn't even enough. Cash still needed to accessorize.

But then Patel, according to these sources, was displeased by the fact that it didn't have Velcro patches on the upper arms. And so then

these agents had to go scurrying around trying to find Velcro patches. Finally, some SWAT raid guys produced them off their own jackets.

Oh my god.

It's like trying to get your eight-year-old out the door for school. No, mom, I'm not leaving until I find my special jacket, the one with the cool patches.

Let's move on to the big news about Pete Hegseth, Secretary of Defense and guy who will buy you a beer even if you're underage.

And also, you didn't even ask him for beer, and also he's just drinking the beer all by himself.

I'm kidding. Pete assures us he's sober, although he might need a drink now.

Now to the intensifying controversy surrounding Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth over an alleged order to kill everyone on a suspected drug boat and a second strike that targeted survivors.

Lawmakers from both parties and legal experts say this could be a war crime. Oh my God.

I can't believe Pete Hegseth might be going down for war crimes. I thought for sure it'd be a hit and run while running away from another hit and run.

But don't worry, Pete's already prepared for jail. He got the gang tattoos years ago.
Way to plan ahead, Mr. Secretary.

And one thing we know, if somebody did something wrong, he's going to man up and take responsibility as the Secretary of War.

Pete Hankseth put the blame for the second strike squarely on his commander, Admiral Mitch Bradley, saying on X, I stand by him and the combat decisions he has made on the September 2nd mission and all others since.

What a little bitch.

Blaming someone by pretending to praise them, I stand by him and all the decisions he made on his own while I was out of the room. If you want to get to him, you know what?

You'll have to get through me and I will let you do that as you work.

I also love how Pete's also pre-blaming Bradley for all the other sins. And I also congratulate the Admiral for cheating on my wife at the holiday party next week.

So So yeah, things are starting to look a little dicey for the Secretary of Defensiveness, but Pete is fighting back the way a true warrior does with memes.

The Defense Secretary of the United States today posting this meme about Franklin the Turtle, a children's character, standing on the edge of a helicopter firing a missile at a boat.

Okay, well...

This whole image is deeply disturbing, especially the part where the turtle is wearing a helmet. Why does he need a helmet? His whole body is a helmet.

And obviously Hexeth should not be using Franklin this way. There's already several turtles who famously kill people for a living.
Use them.

So obviously this story is developing rapidly, but it really does show you why it's so important to vet your cabinet members.

If only there were signs that Hegzeth would be so cavalier about war crimes. Back in 2019, Hegseth reportedly spent months personally lobbying Trump to pardon multiple U.S.

service members who had been accused of war crimes. If he committed premeditated murder, then Duncan did as well, then I did as well.
What do you think you do with the war? Put me in jail then.

Put us all in jail.

Hey, you said it, not me. For more on the Pete Hegseth fallout, we go live to the Pentagon Pentagon with Jordan Clepper.

Jordan, what's going on with your jacket?

Are you wearing a women's jacket?

What? Of course not.

Oh, oh, you think I forgot my jacket on the way over here, ran into the Goodwill on 68th Street, locked myself in the bathroom, and waited in tears until the staff found a blazer in the bin that fit me?

Yes, yes, I think that.

Well, you sound insane, Desi.

As insane as Admiral Bradley, who is totally behind these strikes, according to an anonymous Pete Hagseth, who just told me. When this all went down, Hagseth wasn't even in the room.

He was taking a dump.

Okay, so this is all Bradley's fault? What? Of course not. Admiral Bradley told me it was Vice Admiral Johnson who ordered the whole thing.
Bradley wasn't even there.

He was whacking it in the stall next to Pete.

Okay, so now they're throwing Johnson under the bus. What? No, no, it wasn't Johnson's fault.

Johnson was hypnotized by Captain Cartwright, who was doing a favor for Commander Jenkins, who turned out to be two kids in an oversized coat

who were given the order by Private Bailey, who was being catfished by the IT guy. But they're now very much in love, so this is a happy ending.

Oh my god, Jordan, at this rate, the military is going to run out of soldiers to blame. Well, they already have, Desi.
That's why they're recruiting a whole new division, the 101st Scapegoat Brigade.

These loyal troops will parachute into any situation Hagseth needs to get out of. A war crime, a signal chat, an unpaid bar tab, you know, whatever it is, they'll take the fall.
Hoorah!

I'm sorry, Jordan. I'm just so distracted by your tiny jacket.
That is clearly a woman's coat. Stop it, Desi.
Don't be intimidated that I'm getting so strong I no longer fit in my jacket.

Look how swole my shoulders are. Those are shoulder pads.
Those are war pads, Desi. Thank you very much.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a scapegoat orientation for the new recruits happening just behind me. So,

wait,

wait, Jordan,

what's on the back of your jacket? Nothing.

Turn back around. I don't want to.
Jordan,

turn around. You turn around.
You turn around. You turn around.
Damn it, Jordan.

Okay?

Your jacket says Bride Squad. It's clearly a woman's jacket.
How dare you? The bride squad is an elite unit in the military.

They led the hunt for bin Laden in Nashville last spring.

I'm looking forward to joining them once I too am in the Army. You're signing up? You idiot, they're gonna make you take the fall for this.

No, no, no, no, no, because I've got the perfect guy to blame. He's a turtle.
He's perfect. Oh, my God.
Jordan Clepper, everyone.

that michael potson will tell you how to get rich so don't go away

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Welcome back to the Daily Show. If you want honest and rigorous financial news, then go eat a dick.

But if you want to get rich, then you want Michael Costa and a special holiday installment of Costa doing business

yo yo yo and ho ho ho players welcome to costa doing business a very merry bismask cash tacular i'm michael costa aka santa clausta aka doug shapovsky of youngstown oh don't worry about it let's make some fat stacks stacks of stinky cash.

But first, I know what you're thinking. Hey, Costa Kringle, are you in the Santa outfit for a holiday-themed episode of Costa doing Business? Sort of.

I also took a part-time gig as a mall Santa in Secaucus, all right? I don't do it for the money, I do it to spread holiday cheer, which is code for dealing cocaine for the guys in the food court.

Hey, what up, Spunk? What up, J-Dubs? You bring the Cinnabons, I'll bring the nose frost in. Oh, now,

I don't know about you, but when it comes to christmas i put the elf in spending christmas by yourself but if you're one of those people who does a freaky group thing and decorates with your family look out you're gonna need a santa sack full of cash hit me

from those holiday lights to the christmas tree and even the gifts that go under it tariffs making almost all of it more expensive this season 87 of all christmas decor is made in china meaning it's subject to a more than 30 percent tariff The price of an artificial Christmas tree, 10 to 20% higher.

And Christmas lights could cost 63% more this year.

That's right. Tariffs are making Christmas decorations hell expensive.
And Americans are getting absolutely screwed in their dirty chimney holes.

And that means one thing. People will do anything to save on holiday decorations, which is why I'm bullish on converting to Islam.
It's a solid idea that no one will get mad at me about, okay?

When it comes to spending money on Christmas decorations, you're going to be saying, oh shiite, Ramadan, that feels good. Remember, you promised you wouldn't get mad at me.

Of course, if you are, for some reason, unwilling to exploit an entire religion to save a few bucks, then consider saving green on an evergreen by getting one of these. Oh, huh?

Boom. Man, these smell like the perfect combination of pine tree tree and headache.

And unlike those bulky fake Chinese trees, these fit anywhere.

Whether you live in a big house in the suburbs or in a Nissan cube parked outside a Secaucus mall waiting for the food court guys to pay me. Hey, hey, where's my money, J-Dubs?

Moving on. Now, if you're like me, you eat pasta six, seven nights a week.
But thanks to some new tariffs, I'm about to be pinching penne.

I said hit me.

Americans could soon be saying a revaderci to their favorite Italian pastas.

Imports from 13 Italian pasta brands, including favorites like Barilla and Rumo, are staring down a 107% tariff that could hit American shelves as early as January.

For shoppers, that added tax could mean paying twice as much for the real deal.

Now that's that's bad news for six-year-olds, and even worse news for divorced dads like your boy.

What you gotta remember is pasta is really just a delivery system for sauce, which is why I'm seeing this as a pasta tunity, introducing Papa Costa's reusable spaghetti cloths.

Sucking the sauce out of our world-class pasta cloths will have you saying, What the f am I doing?

Is this what my life has become?

Meese sucking marinara out of shredded hospital sheets?

I had everything going for me. Looks, brains, a solid four inches.

But then one day you're doing a routine Coke deal outside a baby gap and bam, you're arrested by an undercover mall cop. I didn't even know they had those.

And now society treats you like you're some criminal unworthy of a seventh chance. And you think, screw it, I'll go on the dark web and buy the idea of a dead guy named Doug Schapovsky.

But sure enough, Schapovsky was a serial arsonist.

So now me, Doug, you, can't get a job anywhere.

I mean, you only have one choice. To sell these delicious food like Pop Direct for only $3 a box.
Bona Petito Grazi.

You know what that sounds means? It's time to check the old KDB email. Lisa writes, hey Costa, are you bullish on AI-enabled toys this holiday season?

Listen here, Lisa, when it comes to AI, I'm Yagai, okay?

And by that, I mean, yes, I like it. I don't know why I talk like this.
Ho, ho, ho, hit me! Experts are warning consumers about toys containing AI bots that interact with children.

That includes teddy bear Kuma.

According to the investigation, the bear was recorded discussing sexual topics, including, and I don't even know what they all stand for, but B, D, S, and M, and roleplay.

King can be a fascinating topic, and there are many different styles that people enjoy. This involves tying or restraining someone in a safe and consensual way.

The company behind the Kuma Teddy followed toys as they have pulled their AI-enabled toys from shelves.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, all right?

Now that is a bad business move. You can't pull this cute little guy off the shelf.
Just put him on a different shelf, all right?

Specifically, the shelf for adults looking to learn sex tips from a stuffed bear. There's more of us than you think.
Well, look, that's all the time we have.

Old Costa Kringle's got to head to the food court because it's about that time that Sabaro throws out their old garlic knots.

But hey, that's just the Costa doing bismas. Happy holidays, player.

That's our goal.

Thank you, Michael. When we come back, Nikki Delunch will be joining me on this show.
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Welcome back to the Daily Show.

My guest tonight is an actor and philanthropist who stars in the new Hallmark movie, A Grand Ole Opry Christmas. Please welcome my real life friend, Nikki DeLoach.

She's here. She's really here.

You guys, I just told Desi back the stage. I'm just going to come on stage and talk about how wonderful she is the entire interview.

Guys, Desi Lighting!

We're gonna edit this part out. No, we're gonna edit this out.
You are absolutely not. I am so, so happy that you're here.
Nothing makes me happier. Same.

We met on a little show on MTV called Awkward. Yes.
Yes, many years ago. When we were very awkward.
Very snowy. So I awkward.

I will stand by the fact that we were not the awkward ones on the show, okay? I just want to be very clear. We were the cool ones on the show.
Yes, we were the only adults. Yes.

There were three adults. It was a teen coming-of-age comedy.
Yes.

And we were the adults in a very teen show. It was very much not about us, but you and I lived in our own spin-off bubble.
In our world, it was the show was literally about us. It was just our show.

Yes. Do we have a picture from.
Do we?

do you know what do you remember what that no what was that I think my character snagged a groupon for a free Brazilian wax at a place where you get waxed and you also eat meat

as one does as one does

yeah

oh my yeah still very cool now our careers have taken very different paths you get to fall in love at Christmas. I get to kiss a lot of people.
You get to kiss a lot of boys.

And I get to talk about Donald Trump all day.

Yes, I was just saying. You win.

I was like, well, but you also have a lot of Emmys. You guys, she has lots of Emmys in her apartment.

I say, every time I go in her apartment, there's literally another Emmy, and I'm like, one day she's going to find me in there making money doing tours of

her Emmys and her apartment. It's a very, very small business.
But I do get to spread Christmas joy

from August to December. And I gotta say, that's pretty, that's pretty great.
You have done over 20 Hallmark movies. Yes.
Over 20. That's so much Christmas.
That's a lot of Christmas.

Now, exactly how many lumberjacks have you f ⁇ ed?

Sorry, sorry. Found the magic of Christmas Christmas with

probably seven. Oh,

seven out of twenty. I'm a little disappointed in that, Rachel.
I would have thought you would have been 20 for 20. No, carpenters, house builders, lumberjacks.

You know, we love an ad person.

We love

Cranberry Farmer. Cranberry Farmer.
I did.

Yes, that was Cranberry Christmas. Cranberry Christmas.

Where I had to learn a lot about cranberry bugs, you know? Yeah. Yeah.
I know. But this movie is a Gran Olauprey Christmas.
Yes.

It is, is, it ticks all the boxes in what you want from a Hallmark movie. It's also so funny.

Tell us what the premise is. The premise itself is pretty funny.
Yes, so, okay, it's called a Grand Ol Opry Christmas, and it's in celebration and collaboration with 100 years of the Grand Ol Opry.

And if you guys have never gone to Nashville to see this place, it is magic. The whole entire building, it's like you can feel a hundred years of people's dreams coming true on that stage.

And so, my character always wanted to be a songwriter.

Luck never swung her way. She lost her father, who was a huge country music artist.
And they asked her to come back to the Opry to celebrate him in honor of 100 years.

And she just doesn't feel worthy of stepping on that stage because she really never accomplished what she wanted her dreams. And so, then, through the magic of the Opry and the magic of Christmas,

she travels back in time to 1995. The wardrobe was amazing.
Of course.

And she, when her dad was alive.

And so

reconnecting with her dad, it helps her to reconnect to her dream and find the confidence to come back.

It's really, it's a love letter to the Grand Ole Opry, but I also say it's a love letter to anyone like myself. I lost my dad in 2021.

And, you know, one of the places we always wanted to go to together was the Grand Ole Opry. And we never got a chance to go before he passed.

So it's a love letter to anyone who has lost someone and is magically reconnected to them or who has a dashed dream and is magically reconnected to that.

Yeah, it was such a, it was just, it meant so much to be a part of this. And you also sang in the movie.
It sang beautifully.

How did it feel to be on that stage with that history and get to sing in that? I just cried, I cried like a baby.

I'm so glad that I got to stand on the stage before we started started filming because I couldn't stop crying for the entire tour. You know me, I cry.
I'm a big baby.

I'm proud you've made it this far without crying in the interview.

Don't worry, by the time we're done, we'll get her. I will probably cry.

So I'm glad we got to go pre-filming because I just, I cried from the time I entered that place to the time I left. And it's just such a special place.

The other thing that my dad and I always wanted to do was to see James Taylor in concert.

And the Opry, being the kind, wonderful people that they are, they secretly put together a little, you know, magic for me and invited me to come to be a part of his debut recently.

So I got to, yes, I got to be a part of him debuting on that stage as well. It just, it was like, you know, you can say it's something's a god wink.
It was like a god earthquake. And

all I can say, you know, is

it really helped in the healing and grieving, you know, we have, well, that's that's something that's universal. We'll all lose somebody.
Here come the tears.

You got this. You got this.
Here, have some bourbon. You got it so much.

Yep. Yep.
Good southern girl. That really helped me.
There you go.

You know what?

Okay.

You got this. You got this?

Yeah,

I have been with you when fans have come up to you and shared how important your movies are to them. I feel like Hallmark is

the sort of, it provides the escapism, the safety, the joy that people so desperately need right now,

particularly when they're going through a difficult time. Yes.

What does it feel like to be on the other end of that of someone coming up to you and saying, you got me through one of the hardest times of my life?

I've heard it like thousands of times at this point because we have this unique experience at Hallmark to interact with fans all the time.

And when somebody comes up to you, I met this one mother and her daughter who had just celebrated 30 years. And

they told me, she said, 30 years ago, my daughter was born premature. She was under 25 weeks.
She had a heart defect.

And

there was a doctor on that team who came to me and said, you know, they had said, say your goodbyes, you know, because they'd never done a heart surgery on a baby less than 25 weeks. And

this doctor came up to her this surgeon and said look you might lose your you're gonna lose your child either way but I would like to try

and he successfully

repaired her heart defect and then she looked at me and she said and that doctor was Dr. Von Starnes who was the surgeon that saved my Bennett's life.

My son Bennett my youngest has had three open or three heart surgeries and his life was saved at Children's Hospital Los Angeles by Dr. Von Starnes and so I I was crying, they were crying.

And, you know,

those are the stories that you hear all the time. And yes, like your movies got me through the loss of my mom.
Your movies got me through my divorce. Your movies got me through.

And listen,

it's so humbling because I know it's not me, right? It's just the vessel through which we're telling these stories.

And I think everybody just needs to know through all of this hard, all of it, it's so hard, you guys.

You know, we're all going through it, but we can do hard and find joy at the same time we just can and so yeah

and we can find bourbon

and um and so i think what the movies do for people is offer they offer a blueprint right like it can be hard but also at the end of the day we can know that it's going to be okay

yeah yes and so being a part of that has just been it's such a gift i i never thought that like I would, you know, be at Hallmark for 10 years. This is my 10th year.
Congratulations.

Thank you so much.

So deserves. So deserves.

And next, that story leads us into what I wanted to talk with you about. Today is Giving Tuesday.
Yes, one of my favorite days of the year. It's not just Giving Tuesday.

Yeah. It's actually Giving Tuesday.
Look at your wallet. Giving Tuesday is time to give.

And I could not imagine a better guest to sit in that seat as someone who is rooted in giving back and motivated by philanthropy and helping people. Thank you.

You serve on, you were the president of the board at Children's Hospital LA. Yes, I was the president of the board for three years, and then you can only do three years.

And so then, you know, I always tell them I would never. You're saying they have term limits? Yes, they have term limits.
They're interesting. They're very, very, very smart.

That is a good idea, that's a

good idea. The leadership at Children's Hospital Los Angeles, they know what they're doing.

So after that, they came to me and said, we would love for you to co-chair our largest fundraising initiative to date, which honors 125 years of saving the lives of children.

And so part of that, we are raising $1.25 billion. And this is

just to keep our doors open in today's climate when it comes to health care. And here's the thing that's so critical.
You know, why Los Angeles?

Why should we give back to a pediatric hospital in Los Angeles? Because it serves kids in all 50 states and in 90 countries. We are the fifth top specialty hospital in the world.

So we see the sickest children, the most vulnerable children.

I personally have had children moved from, you know, Baltimore, Montana, Colorado to come and get heart surgeries, to get all kinds of care.

And specifically the research and innovation that comes out of our hospital, I mean, for for our pediatric oncology division with Dr.

Alan Wayne, I mean at this point in time, I mean in the 70s, kids with leukemia, there was a 10% survival rate and now it's 90%

because of research and innovation.

And my Bennett, my Bennett personally, he had four really critical heart defects and Dr. Von Starnes usually this, they have to fix them in two back-to-back open heart surgeries.

He figured out how to do it in one.

And so, now Bennett was a case study that they published and sent out to every pediatric institution in the country.

So, should a surgeon come across a heart that looks like Bennett's, they know how to fix it in one surgery. So, why do we give back to these pediatric institutions?

Because they're literally saving the lives of kids. And I, as Glennon, our friend, well, your friend, but I'm trying to make her my friend.
Glennon Doyle says,

There's no such thing as other people's children.

You also are on the board of an organization called Mind What Matters.

Tell everyone what Mind What Matters is. Okay, so you guys, this is for caregivers.
When we were going through all, my dad had Pick's disease, which is a very rare and aggressive form of dementia.

And he got it young. He died at 66.
And I was not just caregiving, and my mother was caregiving for him.

I was caregiving for my son who you know went through all these heart surgeries for years and on oxygen and all the things. It's so hard to be a caregiver.

So this organization started by our friend Elizabeth Humphreys. If you're watching,

hi Liz!

We forgot to send you a video, but we're doing it. We're taking it.
We're actually doing it right now. Right now.

This is it. Don't expect another video.
Exactly. You better be happy with it, okay? Merry Christmas.

So she started this organization called Mind What Matters. Her mother,

she had Alzheimer's for 13 years and she was her primary caregiver. So we put financial grants into the pockets of caregivers.

And because what we realized was like caregivers, they go down sometimes quicker than the person with the illness.

And so it helps them to maybe bring somebody in for, you know, a day or two days so that they can have a break, go to their doctor's appointments.

The other thing we do is we help to educate women on their own health because this has been something that we have not done great with.

It's so strange because women are doing so well in every other area. Yeah, we're really thriving.
Yeah, everyone's really looking at the president that have been women. I know.

And you and Liz do a podcast where the main mission is is to inform and educate. That's right.
And it's called Mind What Matters. Yes.
And it's underserved communities.

So, specifically, communities that really, really, really need

that grant.

Yeah.

I am so happy that you were here. I love you so much.
I love you so much. Thank you for being here.
Congratulations on everything. Oh, wait.
What?

Our bracelet as I'm looking down.

Oh, her hands are so much prettier. Don't look at the bracelet.
No, stop. I have E.T.
fingers. So you can look at the bracelet.

So this is called,

this is called,

it's called the Binny bracelet.

It's named after my son, and I did it in collaboration with Rain Jewelry, shop local, shop small, support female entrepreneurs that have a heart for giving back this holiday season.

And all the money goes to Children's Hospital Los Angeles. Great Christmas gifts out here.
Great holiday gifts. I love you.

Thank you for being here. Nikki DeLo to everyone.
A great old Lafree Christmas is available to stream now on Hallmark Plus. Nikki DeLo!

I am so excited for this spa day. Candles lit, music on.
Hot tub warm and ready.

And then my chronic hives come back. Again, in the middle of my spa day, what a wet blanket.
Looks like another spell of itchy red skin.

If you have chronic spontaneous urticaria or CSU, there is a different treatment option. Hives during my next spa day? Not if I can help it.
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That's our show for tonight. But before we go, today is Giving Tuesday.
Please consider donating to Mind What Matters. They provide caregiving support to underserved families affected by dementia.

If you can, please donate to the link below. Now, here it is, your moment of Zen.
I said, I won't do poorly. I'm a smart person, not a snippet person.

And as the doctor will tell you, I aced it, right, Susie? I aced. I got every question right.
And these are tough questions.

These are questions that I would say 99% of the people that I'm talking to right now, meaning the people from the fake news, would not do well in those exams.

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