Trump Hits Les Miz, Elon Repents & RFK Jr. Infects CDC’s Vaccine Committee | Jeff Hiller

Speaker 1 The holidays mean more travel, more shopping, more time online, and more personal info in more places that could expose you more to identity theft.

Speaker 1 But Life Lock monitors millions of data points per second. If your identity is stolen, our U.S.-based restoration specialists will fix it guaranteed or your money back.

Speaker 1 Don't face drained accounts, fraudulent loans, or financial losses alone. Get more holiday fun and less holiday worry with Life Lock.
Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com slash podcast.

Speaker 2 Terms apply.

Speaker 3 At blinds.com, it's not just about window treatments. It's about you, your style, your space, your way.

Speaker 3 Whether you DIY or want the pros to handle it all, you'll have the confidence of knowing it's done right.

Speaker 3 From free expert design help to our 100% satisfaction guarantee, everything we do is made to fit your life and your windows. Because at blinds.com, the only thing we treat better than windows is you.

Speaker 3 Black Friday deals are going on all month long. Save up to 45% off site-wide, plus an additional 10% off every order right now at blinds.com.

Speaker 2 Rules and restrictions apply.

Speaker 4 You're listening to Comedy Central.

Speaker 5 From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central.

Speaker 6 It's America's only source for news.

Speaker 5 This is the Daily Show with your host, Denzy Liner.

Speaker 5 Welcome to the daily show. I'm so delighted.
We've got so much to talk about tonight. RFK Jr.

Speaker 8 goes doctor shopping. Pete Hegseth gets into a cat fight.
And Elon Musk is sorry for what he said when he was definitely not high.

Speaker 8 So let's check in on the best cabinet ever and another installment of the worst wing.

Speaker 9 What a bunch of losers.

Speaker 8 Let's start with Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Secretary of Health and the only member of Trump's cabinet to be reheated in an air fryer.

Speaker 8 Earlier this week, Kennedy abruptly fired all 17 members of the CDC's vaccine advisory committee, which understandably

Speaker 8 caused a lot of concern among people who prefer not to die from an old-timey Oregon Trail disease.

Speaker 8 But RFK Jr. has got a new batch of doctors to replace them with, so I'm sure they're all equally qualified.
So let's get to know some of these vaccine experts.

Speaker 13 Some of the picks are well-known vaccine critics, including Dr.

Speaker 6 Robert Malone.

Speaker 15 Robert Malone, who's claimed that millions of Americans were hypnotized into taking the COVID-19 shots and has suggested those vaccines cause a form of AIDS.

Speaker 8 I think I liked this guy a lot better when he was just selling us doseckies.

Speaker 8 I don't always take vaccines, but when I do, they give me AIDS.

Speaker 8 Look, this guy's obviously crazy, but you can't deny there was some hypnosis going on during the pandemic. Like, we were washing our hands every day.

Speaker 11 Like,

Speaker 8 what was that all about?

Speaker 8 But forget the Department of Health. Let's move on to the great work being done by Tulsi Gabbard, Director of National Intelligence, and the only Hawaiian who can make Aloha sound like a threat.

Speaker 8 She decides which of America's secrets need to stay secret, but lately she's been getting some help.

Speaker 16 Tulsi Gabbard, head of DNI, says the government is now using artificial intelligence to speed up its work in determining which documents can be declassified and released to the public.

Speaker 16 That includes files related to the assassination of President John F.

Speaker 18 Kennedy.

Speaker 6 Cool.

Speaker 8 That technology we're all scared of and have no idea how dangerous it is. Let's teach it how to kill a president.

Speaker 11 What could go wrong?

Speaker 8 Also, why are you having AI read the JFK files for you? AI is for tedious things. These are the most exciting documents in the government.

Speaker 8 It's like asking AI to watch all the sex scenes in a porno so you can focus on whether the pizza got delivered.

Speaker 8 Maybe I've been using AI wrong this whole time. I thought it was for doing my kids' homework and seeing what I look like as Shrek.

Speaker 8 Wow.

Speaker 8 Stay thirsty, my friends.

Speaker 8 Let's move on to Pete Hegseth, Secretary of Defense and guy whose favorite cologne is Roofy.

Speaker 8 He's been axing a bunch of medical research programs for veterans that he claims are boondoggles.

Speaker 8 But when Senator Dick Durbin called him out on it yesterday, he gave a specific example of waste, and it was very specific.

Speaker 6 Give me an example of a boondoggle in medical research. There are marvelous.

Speaker 20 I mean, we're talking about

Speaker 9 some stuff I shouldn't say in public.

Speaker 20 You know, marbles in the rear ends of cats. Tens of millions of dollars.

Speaker 8 Sometimes I hear about science experiments, and I think, God, I am so glad when I was growing up, no one was telling women they should be scientists.

Speaker 8 Really dodged a bullet there.

Speaker 8 To be fair, they were trying to find out why Garfield hates Mondays.

Speaker 8 Now they know. Now they know.
Also, anyone who has cats knows that this isn't the weirdest idea ever. I mean, they are constantly showing us their buttholes.

Speaker 8 At some point, someone's going to be like, all right, let me try something.

Speaker 8 But in case you're wondering who would fund such a ridiculous study, that would be President Trump himself.

Speaker 8 In 2020, his defense department said it was part of a revolutionary new treatment for spinal cord injuries. And that's the thing about science.
It's easy to make it sound made up and stupid.

Speaker 8 It's not airtight like the Bible.

Speaker 8 And someone who just wants to cut funding can trivialize any research because yeah, trying to make dogs salivate by ringing a bell sounds weird, but it proved an important point that dogs love bells, I think.

Speaker 8 I don't know, I failed psych. But this is a great example of how anti-science the Trump administration is.
When Pete Hegseth talks about science, he makes it sound stupid. And when RFK Jr.

Speaker 8 talks about it, he makes it sound like someone dropped a fork in the garbage disposal.

Speaker 8 Let's move on to the reason your horse's prescriptions are out of stock. Elon Musk.

Speaker 8 Last week, he got into a fight with Donald Trump that got so ugly, he claimed that Trump is in the Epstein files.

Speaker 8 The friendship seemed unsalvageable, but it turns out it wasn't quite as cyber f ⁇ as we thought.

Speaker 22 The world's richest man is now apologizing to the world's most powerful man, Musk backing away from some of his online attacks, posting this apology.

Speaker 22 I regret some of my posts about President Trump last week. They went too far.

Speaker 8 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no.
You cannot whoopsie Daisy your way out of saying someone's in the Epstein files.

Speaker 8 It's not like saying, sorry I slammed the door or sorry I shoved marbles up your cat's butt.

Speaker 8 I mean I'm glad he apologized because I guess it showed us exactly how long it takes for ketamine to wear off.

Speaker 8 Let's move on from the worst wing because America is having a hard time right now. The military is invading California.
U.S.

Speaker 8 senators are getting manhandled by federal agents and people are about to be thrown off their their Medicaid.

Speaker 8 And President Trump is hearing everyone's concerns, and he's decided to rush to where he's needed the most. The theater.

Speaker 8 President Donald Trump, going to see a performance of Les Mes at the Kennedy Center on Wednesday.

Speaker 23 Do you identify more with Jean-Valjean or Javert?

Speaker 24 That's just that last part of that question. That's tough.

Speaker 11 I think.

Speaker 24 You better answer that one, honey.

Speaker 6 I don't know.

Speaker 8 I don't know what's worse, that a reporter thought it was a good idea to ask Trump if he's the hero or the villain, or that Trump's response was, oof, that's a tough question.

Speaker 8 But while Trump ponders which Le Miz character he is, activists are planning nationwide protests this weekend.

Speaker 8 For more on those protests, we go live to Michael Costa in Los Angeles and Jordan Klepper in D.C.

Speaker 8 Michael, let's start with you.

Speaker 8 What's the latest in LA?

Speaker 9 Desi, protesters here are still fuming about Trump sending Marines into the city.

Speaker 9 It was the biggest overreaction since the time that ice cream truck didn't have rainbow sprinkles, so I slashed its tires.

Speaker 9 Costa, don't do chalk sprinks, okay?

Speaker 9 The point is, these detention raids are a cruel display of Trump's villainy. He's definitely the jover of our time.

Speaker 8 Okay, thank you, Michael. And Jordan, how are protests in D.C.
feeling?

Speaker 25 The protesters in D.C.

Speaker 26 are equally upset and want to see an end to these cruel raids. And by the way, Trump is not Javert.
Costa is way off.

Speaker 26 But what do you expect from a guy who only hears Broadway songs if they show up in a porn hub video?

Speaker 9 Oh, I'm sorry. I guess Jordan thinks Trump is Jean-Valjean, the redeemed Catholic, so saintly that he adopts a prostitute's child? Jordan, you're a few Rogers short of a Hammerstein.

Speaker 8 Guys, I think we're getting a little distracted here. Let's focus on the protests, not about your musical taste.

Speaker 26 No problem for Costa. He doesn't have any.

Speaker 26 The point is, Desi, the protesters see Trump as a godless con artist, much like Tenardier, the corrupt innkeeper, which Michael would know if he weren't the kind of person who thinks guys and dolls is a strip club in Peoria.

Speaker 9 Desi, I'll tell you the only thing protesters fear more than the Marines right now, it's hearing Jordan Clepper bomb another audition trying to nail the riff and defying gravity.

Speaker 26 Hey, hey! It's not about getting the work from the audition. The audition is the work.

Speaker 9 You're flat on every shark.

Speaker 25 You're flat on every shark. Is that right?

Speaker 26 Is that right?

Speaker 25 Well, time to drop the bomb.

Speaker 26 Michael is in the Epstein files.

Speaker 26 Whoa, what? What?

Speaker 26 Whoa.

Speaker 26 No, no, no.

Speaker 5 That's out of line.

Speaker 25 Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 26 You know what? You know what?

Speaker 26 You're right. You're right.
I regret what I said. I've been on ketamine this whole time, okay?

Speaker 6 I'm better now.

Speaker 8 Wait, Jordan, is Costa in the Epstein file?

Speaker 26 Desi, I said I'm sorry.

Speaker 25 Let's move on.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Desi, let it go.

Speaker 9 That's from Frozen, Jordan. I thought a musical for children would be more up your speed.

Speaker 26 Okay, Adina Menzel is a national treasure, Costa. Thank you very much.

Speaker 14 Desi, excuse me, can I interrupt?

Speaker 8 Oh, yes, Josh Johnson.

Speaker 8 Oh, my God, where are you?

Speaker 6 I don't know.

Speaker 13 I snatched me up at a protest and dropped me in the desert. That's not even protocol.
They just doing whatever now.

Speaker 28 All right?

Speaker 13 I don't know where I am. I could be in Phoenix.
I could be in Yemen.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. I hope I'm not in Phoenix.

Speaker 5 Oh, Josh.

Speaker 26 That sounds truly awful.

Speaker 9 So, Josh, do you think Trump is a Javer?

Speaker 9 Who?

Speaker 9 I need help. Yeah, and we're going to get you help, buddy.
But first, you got to tell us which character Trump would be in Les Miz.

Speaker 13 Is that the one with the cats?

Speaker 7 Kidding me?

Speaker 6 Is that the one with the cats?

Speaker 6 Come on, man.

Speaker 6 Hey, hey, hey!

Speaker 28 I'm sorry, I don't spend all my time watching white people sing, okay?

Speaker 27 Don't make this about race.

Speaker 9 Yeah, there's a proud black tradition in theater. I just saw Audrey McDonald a gypsy.

Speaker 13 Fine, you're an ally.

Speaker 27 Is someone going to help me?

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah. I'll help you.

Speaker 9 By getting you a rush ticket to Cabaret. Let's start there.

Speaker 26 Of course you pick cabaret. Of course it's cabaret with you, Costa.

Speaker 8 Okay, okay, that's enough. Josh Johnson, Michael Costa, and Jordan Clinton.

Speaker 8 I am so excited for this spa day. Candles lit.
Music on.

Speaker 30 Hot tub warm and ready.

Speaker 8 And then my chronic hives come back. Again, in the middle of my spa day.
What a wet blanket. Looks like another spell of itchy red skin.

Speaker 8 If you have chronic spontaneous urticaria or CSU, there is a different treatment option. Hives during my next spa day? Not if I can help it.
Learn more at treatmyhives.com.

Speaker 8 Welcome back to the Daily Show. If you've turned on cable television anytime in the last few months, you may have stumbled across Stephen A.
Smith spouting opinions about, well, everything.

Speaker 8 But how did he become so ubiquitous? Let's find out in a brand new daily showography.

Speaker 30 We live in a world of takes.

Speaker 15 JJ would have to be a lunatic to take the liquor.

Speaker 6 Trees are f ⁇ ing pussy.

Speaker 32 Hot takes, quick takes, free takes, mistakes.

Speaker 2 I won't give them a kid, mate.

Speaker 8 Absolute effing snob.

Speaker 3 I'm drinking like monster energy drinks sometimes, which are piss magnets.

Speaker 9 But we all know there's only one king of takes.

Speaker 33 You can't be the king without a crime. You cannot be the king without the crime.

Speaker 9 This is the daily showography of Stephen A.

Speaker 32 Smith, greatest of all take havens.

Speaker 9 Stephen A. had an optimal childhood for his future reign.

Speaker 19 On the Bronx raised in Queens, reigns by the greatest mom in the world.

Speaker 9 That's right.

Speaker 5 Every other mom in the world is a scrub.

Speaker 9 I don't care if you're Mother Teresa or that hot mom from the Brady Bunch.

Speaker 21 Those moms should be riding the bench behind Janet Smith.

Speaker 9 Fuying a career as an athlete, he enrolled in college at the Fashion Institute of Technology. It's called Seeing the Whole Field, people.

Speaker 4 It was primarily a girls' school, and the other dudes were homosexual.

Speaker 7 It left it all to us.

Speaker 27 FIT might might not have the greatest tradition of sports, but it definitely had a player.

Speaker 9 Eventually, he put down the sewing needle and picked up the rock, transferring to the greatest basketball program in North Carolina, excluding all the other ones.

Speaker 19 I hit 17 straight three-pointers.

Speaker 35 Signed me the scholarship on the spot.

Speaker 9 That's right. Stephen A.
Smith was the king of threes until he started playing actual games and became the king of 1.5s per game.

Speaker 5 Stephen A, I'm trying to figure out how you average one and a half points.

Speaker 25 Like, don't you give two?

Speaker 9 Unfortunately, Stephen A. could not explain the mathematics as he had attended the Fashion Institute of Technology.

Speaker 9 But if Smith struggled in the paint, he dominated in the print, joining the student newspaper and immediately proving himself the top college take-haver in the country with the legendary dunk on his own Hall of Fame coach.

Speaker 9 That earned him a post-college stint in newspapers and radio. And then Stephen A.
was called up to the big league.

Speaker 9 It was the moment he'd been training for his whole life.

Speaker 10 I had no television training whatsoever.

Speaker 32 Okay, that didn't matter.

Speaker 10 So I went to the next best plan. Be myself.
Say what I feel.

Speaker 9 Yes, he had the rare ability to open his mouth and let words form into sentences that people could hear on TV. No one had seen anything like it before.

Speaker 9 Smith was dropping takes from everywhere. Hot takes.

Speaker 4 This man was a bona fide scrub.

Speaker 36 He can't play. Loud takes.
Aaron Rodgers is Aaron freaking Rodgers.

Speaker 14 Louder takes.

Speaker 6 To sign Lamar Odom.

Speaker 6 Who was on crack?

Speaker 9 Full-on freaking screaming takes.

Speaker 33 The stench that hovers over me every time my name is associated with this damn franchise.

Speaker 22 Weirdly quiet takes.

Speaker 19 LeBron James

Speaker 19 is the GOAT.

Speaker 9 Stephen A. was the best ESPN had ever seen.
I mean, not as good as in the golden age, but since then. Oh, there he is.

Speaker 9 The natural. He was poetic.

Speaker 21 It was Shakespearean.

Speaker 9 And he never yelled. But the trophy he really needed was his own catchphrase.
Every great broadcaster in history has had one.

Speaker 7 Good night.

Speaker 32 And good luck. And that's the way it is.

Speaker 11 Holy cow. Yes.

Speaker 28 And soon, Stephen A.

Speaker 9 Smith hit upon something equally iconic.

Speaker 25 Stay off the weed.

Speaker 6 Stay off the weed.

Speaker 7 Stay off the damn weed.

Speaker 9 Or, hear me out, maybe try a little weed.

Speaker 6 Horrible.

Speaker 9 It was time for Smith to make his biggest move yet. Coming for the reigning king of takes himself.

Speaker 35 There are times when I look at you, you should just be flat out ashamed of yourself.

Speaker 5 Are you on drugs?

Speaker 5 Are you on charity? Are you on drugs?

Speaker 9 drugs who the hell are you to question me zip it i'm talking they were the larry bird and magic johnson of yelling at the top of their lungs

Speaker 9 once smith ousted his rival he began breaking take records left and right we're talking 300 takes a day with the sentence completion percentage of 93.3 percent and off the charts decibel levels the man even had a correct prediction average of

Speaker 9 well that one doesn't matter In 2025, Smith officially earned his greatest of all take average crown, a five-year $100 million contract.

Speaker 9 Now his takes can no longer be contained by the world of sports.

Speaker 33 I have always been against woke culture.

Speaker 28 You know what I'm going to say?

Speaker 35 Shimander, because it reminds me of me because of the forehead.

Speaker 28 I am not about to sit here and argue with a grown-ass man about the movie Carlos.

Speaker 5 Oh, come on now.

Speaker 33 The Ukrainians are saying we at war now. We on death's door.
We might as well go down swinging.

Speaker 28 Stephen A.

Speaker 9 what is the correct way to wipe yourself standing a city that is a nasty ass question that's the difference between just talking shit and having a take on shit

Speaker 9 but when a man has taken all there is to take i have spewed

Speaker 6 an opinion

Speaker 6 on over 45

Speaker 6 000 issues in my career on first take.

Speaker 9 What takes are left for the taking?

Speaker 18 Stephen A.

Speaker 14 Smith, who is floating a potential 2028 presidential run.

Speaker 34 There is somebody else who's thinking of running president.

Speaker 20 Stephen A.

Speaker 38 Smith.

Speaker 4 The Democratic Party looks so pathetic after this election.

Speaker 32 I might entertain you. Okay, hold up.

Speaker 9 Does anyone really think a loudmouth TV personality with endless opinions, no qualifications, and a bad hairline would be a plausible candidate for president of the United States?

Speaker 9 I've been pretty good at picking people and picking candidates, and I will tell you, I'd love to see him run.

Speaker 7 Oh, right.

Speaker 6 God damn it.

Speaker 19 All right, Daly. So you had your foot out.

Speaker 4 You had your foot. Guess what? It still was a sorry ass take.
You got some work to do. And maybe, just maybe, you'll do it right if you stay off the weed.

Speaker 8 Ah, the sounds of an Etsy holiday.

Speaker 8 Now that's special.

Speaker 9 Want to hear it again?

Speaker 8 Get original and affordable gifts from small shops on Etsy. For gifts that say, I get you, shop Etsy.
Tap the banner to shop now.

Speaker 8 Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight is an actor, writer, and comedian whose new memoir is called Actress of a Certain Age.
Please welcome Jeff Hiller.

Speaker 8 I love having to stand on my tippy toes in heels to hug you.

Speaker 18 Yeah, I'm a real big monster.

Speaker 8 You are a tall drink of water. Thank you for being here.
I am such a fan of yours, and I enjoyed this book so much. Thank you.
Actress of a Certain Age.

Speaker 18 Yes, Actress of a Certain Age. It's all about my sort of humiliating experiences in my career.

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 18 And I thought, but you know, I've made it. Things are all better now.

Speaker 18 And then

Speaker 6 when I open the book, there's a typo on the cover of my book.

Speaker 7 Actress of a Satan Age.

Speaker 7 Not today, Satane. Not today.

Speaker 8 Who judges a book by any cover?

Speaker 36 Please actually don't.

Speaker 6 Please don't.

Speaker 8 Listen, I grew up in Kentucky public school, so I thought this was how you spell certain.

Speaker 7 So I think you're okay.

Speaker 18 Oh see, I grew up in Texas where everything's fine.

Speaker 6 Oh sure.

Speaker 6 Sure it is.

Speaker 8 Oh my gosh. I love how each of your chapters in your book is titled for a different actor or a different actor's memoir.

Speaker 18 Exactly, yeah. Because I read a lot of celebrity memoirs.

Speaker 8 Yes, you talk about it in here, and then there's a footnote at the bottom of the front page of the chapter that says when that actor has has met mainstream fame.

Speaker 18 Exactly got their big break because I always read the celebrity ones and they don't always say exactly how old they are then I have to go get a calculator look up IMDb and then check it out and figure out how old they were and then compare it to how old I am when I'm reading the book and spoiler alert, it was never a consoling math equation.

Speaker 7 That was such a unique detail.

Speaker 8 What made you want to share that?

Speaker 7 Well,

Speaker 18 when I got this opportunity to write a celebrity memoir with a really loose definition of the word celebrity,

Speaker 18 I wanted to rely on the fact that I have read all of these memoirs. And I also wanted to write it for other people who maybe committed the cardinal sin of aging past 40 without

Speaker 18 realizing all of the dreams that they wanted in their life and

Speaker 18 have a little bit of hope in it. So I talk about how

Speaker 18 compare invites despair.

Speaker 7 Yes.

Speaker 18 Yeah, and I did come up with that on my own. I didn't.

Speaker 14 It sounds pretty hat cliche, actually.

Speaker 8 That should go in your next memoir. Yeah.
But I think that that.

Speaker 18 But it'll say compare invites to pair.

Speaker 8 Oh, your publisher. Who was your publisher? Yes.

Speaker 7 I'm going to say it out loud.

Speaker 6 Exactly.

Speaker 31 It was some girl girl at Starbucks.

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 31 I said, Jeff, I was like, it doesn't start with an H. What are you doing?

Speaker 8 Oh, my God.

Speaker 8 So, your IMDB reads like a comedy sizzle reel of all-time great comedies. But I think most people

Speaker 8 know you from your beautiful work on Somebody Somewhere.

Speaker 7 I think you have to show you that.

Speaker 18 I love that show.

Speaker 8 It is such a beautiful show. It is so funny and so heartfelt.

Speaker 8 If people haven't seen it, tell us what it's about.

Speaker 18 Oh, well, you should see it.

Speaker 7 You should see it.

Speaker 7 Leave now.

Speaker 8 Go see it. We'll wait here.

Speaker 18 It's on, you know, Max or HBO. I don't know.

Speaker 18 HBO, who Max. And

Speaker 18 it's about people in Kansas who have found their family. And

Speaker 18 it's also about being queer in the Midwest and being

Speaker 18 someone who isn't giving up on yourself, which is a lot of what the book is about too. And so

Speaker 18 it's not like re-watching Gray's Anatomy. It's not like a big commitment.
It's only three seasons.

Speaker 31 One season is less than an avatar movie.

Speaker 7 Yes. Seriously.

Speaker 8 It's food for the soul. It really feels so good to watch it.
It is such a joy. I loved your This Is Church moment.
You talk about it in your book as well.

Speaker 8 Tell us what's behind, what was behind that moment in the show.

Speaker 18 Well, that was just an improvisation I did that did make it into the final edit.

Speaker 18 I'm not bragging about it, but I did do that.

Speaker 18 And it felt right because it was this scene about these friends who were hanging out and were joyful and were finding each other.

Speaker 18 And my character is involved in the church, but is having some weirdness with church.

Speaker 18 And he's saying, this moment is church, this moment where we're hanging out together and being together and having community that's what my church is and I think that that's true of me too and beautiful I think for all of us right yes and especially right now

Speaker 8 times are rough yeah they are and you talk about growing up in the church in Texas you grew up Lutheran

Speaker 8 and you have this beautiful chapter in your book that that talks about when you came out to your church as a 22-year-old and you wrote this beautiful speech. It was so moving.

Speaker 8 For, you know, there are so many queer youth in this country that are having a hard time under attack right now.

Speaker 8 What would you say to those 22-year-old younger Jeffs that are out there struggling with that in, say, Texas or other parts of the country? What would you say to them?

Speaker 18 Well, I would just say,

Speaker 18 I'm sorry, and we got your back.

Speaker 31 And I think,

Speaker 18 you know, we're in Pride Month and it's a time to celebrate, but it's also a time to protest and a time to gather together and

Speaker 18 lead with compassion and hope and protection for especially the most vulnerable among us.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that's absolutely right.

Speaker 8 You also have a chapter in your book, kind of author, that you talk about being bullied in junior high. Can you believe that?

Speaker 8 Well, let me just tell you, as a perpetual volunteer whole monitor, I see you. I see you.
I am with you.

Speaker 2 I thought you were going to say as a perpetual bully.

Speaker 8 No, that's just what I became.

Speaker 8 You talk about, you talk about how even to this day, you were teased for how you carry your books. And even to this day, you think about how you carry your books.
You're right.

Speaker 18 And who even has books anymore?

Speaker 25 Although this one's good. But yeah,

Speaker 18 I used to carry them like this and then a bully said you carry your books like a girl.

Speaker 18 And so now I always carry things down here and it sticks with you for the whole life and and that's why it's important to protect those kids, you know?

Speaker 7 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 31 And you talked

Speaker 8 You talked about like what helped you get through that time.

Speaker 18 My mom. Yeah.
I had a good mom and I actually dedicate the book to good parents because everywhere, not just my mom, because who cares about my mom, right? But

Speaker 18 I think that providing that safe space,

Speaker 18 showing your kid that they are loved no matter what, that it really is unconditional, it allows them a foundation that even when the bad things roll in, which they will inevitably do, you're still secure enough to go out there.

Speaker 18 And I had a great mom, and you know, and she had a great Texas accent, which you can hear me impersonate in the audiobook.

Speaker 8 Thank God for good moms out there.

Speaker 25 Seriously, thank God for good moms.

Speaker 25 So

Speaker 8 you mentioned you have read hundreds of celebrity memoirs. So I'm wondering if you would play a little game with me.

Speaker 8 If I name a celebrity,

Speaker 8 could you give me an interesting fact about their life?

Speaker 6 Okay, I'll try.

Speaker 8 Okay, here we go.

Speaker 5 Here we go.

Speaker 8 Barbara Streisand.

Speaker 18 Yes, which I listened to 48 hours and 15 minutes. I listened to it all.

Speaker 18 There's a lot of good ones. She's really obsessed with food.
She will talk about a ravioli.

Speaker 29 That's a single ravioli, a raviolo.

Speaker 18 But the funniest fact is one of her husbands, John, who was a hairdresser, the way that they like had their meat cute, he came over to do her hair.

Speaker 18 And as they were walking up the stairs, he goes, nice ass.

Speaker 18 And that's how they met and fell in love.

Speaker 37 Wow.

Speaker 8 He's a keeper.

Speaker 31 Yeah, Denny's done great.

Speaker 8 Okay, speaking of nice asses, Rosie Perez.

Speaker 18 You've got to read Rosie Perez's book, but also you got to listen to that one because her metaphorical voice matches her literal voice and it's m.

Speaker 18 She got do the right thing because she was in a dance club in Bedford Stuyvesant and there was it was too crowded so she got up on the speaker and started dancing and Spike Lee was like you want to be in my movie and she's like my gas

Speaker 18 good for her

Speaker 18 not surprising that's no not surprising okay Brooke Shields Brooke Shields well the most surprising thing is Liam Neeson proposed marriage to her.

Speaker 17 Yes,

Speaker 17 I know.

Speaker 17 Get hold on.

Speaker 13 Then he was like, I got to go to LA.

Speaker 18 You know, we'll come back and we'll get married.

Speaker 2 And then he never spoke to her again.

Speaker 29 To America's sweetheart and labor union leader, Brooke Shields.

Speaker 8 Brooke Shields. I know, Brooke.
Someone ghosted Brooke Shields.

Speaker 18 I know. Her book is great.
You really should read it. I know I'm here to promote mine, but hers are good.

Speaker 8 But also get hers. Also good hers.
I am so glad you were here to promote this book. It is hilarious.
It's heartwarming. It is so beautifully written.
Congratulations. Thank you.
You know what?

Speaker 5 You take this.

Speaker 8 You hold this book however the f you want. You deserve it.

Speaker 8 Actual Super Sport Games is available now. Jeff Hiller, everyone.

Speaker 8 We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.

Speaker 25 Chair recognizes the menu.

Speaker 27 Will you commit on the record to subpoenaing Christy Noam because a U.S.

Speaker 21 senator was just thrown to the ground and detained in his own country?

Speaker 7 Democrats can't follow the rules. They can't follow the law.
Will you follow up? Shut up.

Speaker 2 No, you don't.

Speaker 25 No, you're not going to tell me to shut up.

Speaker 38 Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 38 Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.

Speaker 4 This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

Speaker 34 It's never too early for Lowe's Black Friday deals. Snag some of our biggest savings of the season right now, like 25% off select pre-lit artificial Christmas trees.

Speaker 34 And get yourself free select DeWalt, Cobalt, or Craftsman tools when you buy a select battery or combo kit before the Black Friday rush. Because everyone loves free stuff, right?

Speaker 6 Lowe's, we help.

Speaker 34 You save. Valent through 12-3 while supplies last.
Selection varies by location.

Speaker 27 October brings it all. Halloween parties, game day tailgates, crisp fall nights.

Speaker 21 At Total Wine and More, you'll find just what you need for them all.

Speaker 27 Whether you're hosting friends or enjoying the cool fall air, you'll find thousands of wines, spirits, and beers at the lowest prices.

Speaker 14 Mixing up something spooky?

Speaker 27 Total Wine and More is your cocktail central for all your Halloween concoctions with the lowest prices.

Speaker 21 For over 30 years, you'll always find what you love and love what you find at Total Wine and More.

Speaker 21 Details Spirits Not Solar, Virginia, and North Carolina drink sponsorly.