The Precap | Josh Johnson on Airport Freakouts, Betting Scandals and What to Do With a Billion Dollars

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Speaker 4 You're listening to Comedy Central.

Speaker 3 Everyone, welcome to the Precap. where we sit down with this week's daily show host to preview what's coming up and recap some of the news we might have missed.

Speaker 3 I'm David Angelo, a writer on The Daily Show, and I'm joined today by the

Speaker 3 Josh Johnson. Josh, coming to us from a La Quinta Inn Business Center.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, I'm doing my best. You know, I would have loved to be there in person, but the business center called.

Speaker 3 Well, we understand. And, you know, be careful with those computers.
They got more viruses than the Wuhan Institute of Virology. So you're going to just.

Speaker 3 All right, we're coming out hot. So, Josh,

Speaker 3 you're hosting the daily show this week. I think that's the.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 I think that's the whole reason we do it.

Speaker 3 That's why we're doing it. And

Speaker 3 it's been four or five weeks since you've hosted,

Speaker 3 right?

Speaker 3 And a lot has happened since. You've recorded at least 84 new hours of stand-up comedy.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah, yeah. I do my best.

Speaker 3 And a lot of other events have taken place.

Speaker 3 So the question is, what did we miss? What has happened? Was there a time

Speaker 3 when you were sitting on the sidelines, not hosting the last five weeks, where there was a big story that came out and

Speaker 3 you said, geez, you know,

Speaker 3 I wish I could sub in, you know, I wish I could come Mariano Rivera this thing.

Speaker 5 I feel like I have really lucked out. that there were weeks where things happened and I was not hosting and then there are things that happened while I was hosting.
Like, I actually

Speaker 5 could not have asked for a better set of events. So, there hasn't really been a thing that happened where I was like, ooh, if only I was hosting this week, I would talk about it.

Speaker 5 I feel like we've done a good job of carrying into the news of the day the thing that happened that I'm at least interested in.

Speaker 5 I remember the NBA thing is it goes deeper and it is crazier than I think a lot of people give credit for.

Speaker 3 It's the craziest.

Speaker 5 We just don't care for some reason.

Speaker 3 How is it possible?

Speaker 5 People don't care. I don't know, man.
I'm like, I am so shocked that this isn't a bigger scandal.

Speaker 3 It should be the only news story in America right now. For all these years, they've been rigging games, right? I mean,

Speaker 3 that's like huge. We're still talking about 1919 with the White Sox.
100 years later, they rig one game. We can't get over it.

Speaker 3 And then the NBA comes out and they're like, oh, yeah, no, by the way, everything has been fake the whole time. And we're just like, all right, cool.

Speaker 5 There's that. And I don't know if you saw the fights.
There's all of this

Speaker 5 speculation now with a lot of different fights that they've been fixed. So it's just the sports betting was already insane.
I can only imagine what it's going to be now that

Speaker 3 like

Speaker 5 now bets

Speaker 5 will have to be even more insane so people just don't think it's all being rigged all the time.

Speaker 3 I mean, I must, do. I don't know if you sports bet, but I don't.
But if I had lost a bet that was a rigged fight, I'd be I'd be down at it. I'd be at small claim score today.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 How do people not get upset about that?

Speaker 5 I don't know, man. I mean, I guess if you are gambling a lot, you probably have other problems other than the bets you lost that are that were fixed fights.

Speaker 3 There's a terminal sadness to the.

Speaker 5 I do think, so I don't bet at all because I don't,

Speaker 5 whatever sport I watch, I would like to enjoy the sport.

Speaker 5 I don't want to watch the sport. I mean, imagine to me, you know, I've always loved

Speaker 5 mixed martial arts. I've always loved boxing.

Speaker 5 And so I know boxing has its own long history with fixed fights and everything like that. But I said all that to say that like

Speaker 5 if I were watching that sport, I want to watch it to watch what I think is going to happen. And if it happens, if there's money on the game, we're having a totally different conversation.

Speaker 3 It takes some of the the fun out.

Speaker 5 It takes all the fun out.

Speaker 3 I lost a $50 bet on how to pronounce Hoist Gracie.

Speaker 3 Remember Hoist Gracie?

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. The fans listening really love the Hoist Gracie stuff.

Speaker 3 But what

Speaker 3 you were saying, you're following mixed martial arts.

Speaker 5 Oh, no. I'm just saying I imagine it feels like...

Speaker 5 watching your your child's dance recital, but with money on it.

Speaker 5 Like, there's something that there's something that could be becoming a core memory for you that is a fun thing to watch, that is like the reason people do sports. And instead, it's become this, like,

Speaker 5 is she gonna,

Speaker 5 you know, cover the jump? Right. And it's just like that, like, what is that? What is

Speaker 5 why would you?

Speaker 5 I don't know. But that's my thing, I guess, a little bit against betting in general.
I know some people bet and don't have a huge problem. So it's, you you know, a recreation for them.

Speaker 3 I'll do Powerball.

Speaker 3 And ever since.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. Ever since they let you do it on your phone,

Speaker 3 because nothing was, the worst part about gambling used to be you'd have to go down to the 7-Eleven.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And it was like, you know what? $100 million is not even worth it.
It's not even worth it. This whole thing where I got to stand in the line there.
But now they let you do it on the phone.

Speaker 3 And so I'll play Powerball. And I'll do the, you know, I don't wait for the big billion-dollar ones.

Speaker 5 If it's up $3 million, you just do them all.

Speaker 3 $300, 400 million. I'll take that kind of money.
Because I'm like a man of the people. Winning the lottery, that is the ultimate nouveau rich.

Speaker 3 Used to be kind of like, you know, oh, this guy, you know, he is, there's nothing more

Speaker 3 new money than winning a half a billion dollars at the gas station.

Speaker 5 At the gas station is what does it. If you, if they had just had a raffle at like a country club, yeah, that's old money.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 But like,

Speaker 5 a gas station station is like, we sent one of us as a representative.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they make it so you have to come from nothing. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 All the lottery, it's like in the, it's in the dregs.

Speaker 3 It's like we've got to go in our back alley here to play the lottery. Do a nice country club lottery.

Speaker 3 You'd feel better.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I guess so. I guess so.
But then it does become a question of like entry. Like, can anybody get access to the country club now just so they can buy the ticket? They can't swim.
No, I'm just.

Speaker 5 They can't golf, golf, but like they can come in, buy a lottery ticket, and then they gotta go.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's not a good customer to have around. But I'm saying just sell Powerball at the lottery,

Speaker 5 at the country club. At the country club.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Somewhere nice. I can put on a nice suit, go in.

Speaker 5 We would be selling it to people who need it the least.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's the worst.

Speaker 3 When they announce the winner and it's like some guy who owns like an auto dealership or something.

Speaker 3 You are already fine.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 You really want a Cinderella story, but then we always act surprised when with that Cinderella story comes the story of people like absolutely blowing their money.

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Speaker 3 You win a billion dollars tomorrow. What are you doing with the money?

Speaker 5 That's a great question. Okay, billion?

Speaker 3 A billion. So it's, you have excess, right? Now, there's only so much you can buy.
You can only buy so many cars. You can only...

Speaker 3 But you have power money now.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I have... If I have power money, I think I would, I shouldn't even say some of this in case I ever do play the lottery and win.
But like, I think I would just,

Speaker 5 for one or two years, like, I think this thing could be done in one year. So, like, I would just like,

Speaker 5 this is bad. So, just so you know, I'm warning you now, this is bad.
Love it. I'm not telling you, I'm not telling anybody to do this.

Speaker 5 This is what I would do in this hypothetical, hypothetical, hypothetical situation where I am now a billionaire on paper, but really just a high millionaire after taxes.

Speaker 5 I think I would give it a year of

Speaker 5 buying like school lunch debt while also lobbying to just change the funding for school so that lunch was included. And if anybody stood in my way, they would disappear.

Speaker 5 Like that, like, like, like if there, like if there was somebody that was like, no, it builds character to starve. I think I would be like, oh, okay, I hired a private investigator

Speaker 5 and here are all your secrets. I'm ruining you.

Speaker 3 Or I'm like, I love how you're couching it.

Speaker 3 I'll be a bad guy. You know, if they don't let me solve world poverty, I'm going to come down on these guys.
If they don't let me feed the children, I'm going to get them.

Speaker 5 Not world poverty, just third-grade poverty.

Speaker 3 Just third-grade poverty. I'm still being nice.
You're like, you preface that.

Speaker 3 Like, you were going to do like a, I'm going to take over Puff Daddy's parties and have to get the, I'm going to buy the email. That's how you prefaced it.

Speaker 5 And then you come on, you're like, I'm going to buy school lunch for everybody look look I think I would definitely buy it I would have a

Speaker 5 Rubik's Cube collection and comic book collection that would put all others to shame you go

Speaker 5 you do a Rubik's Cube I don't do it well I'm still learning so I don't do it like fast I just do it and it's a nice hobby to like learn the other algorithms but it's not something that I would say I'm good at by any means but I would buy all of the novelty ones Then I would go on a bit of a shopping spree as far as comic books go, not for like old novelty, um,

Speaker 5 yellow papered Superman.

Speaker 5 No, I don't, I actually don't need that action comics golden era stuff because, like, that's not what I really read anyway. So I would just be having that to be like, look at me, I'm rich.

Speaker 5 Um, I would more buy all of the I would just buy everything that I ever thought I would read. And then from there, I would be in like a really dope position

Speaker 5 to just sit and read comic books all the time for the rest of my life.

Speaker 3 You know, you could do that probably on your normal salary right now.

Speaker 3 These are not big reaches. What do you...

Speaker 5 Yeah, I suppose not.

Speaker 5 I guess I'm coming from a place of like, I don't think maybe I'm so picky when it comes to comic books, though, that I probably am almost done.

Speaker 3 All right, just so we can get the comic book community clip here, What's your number one comic book that you would buy if you had unlimited funds?

Speaker 5 Anything Ed Brubaker touches, makes, writes,

Speaker 5 coughs on, anything Ed Brubaker does. I think the man is a genius, and I think every story that he tells is spectacular.

Speaker 3 Well, there's your clip for the comic community. We'll put that out, and now I'll ask.
I have no idea who that guy is, so we can we'll cut it right before me saying that.

Speaker 3 And Ed Brubaker, is he, did he do spawn?

Speaker 5 I don't think he did spawn, but

Speaker 5 he did do a little bit of Batman. He did Gotham Central.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 5 And he did

Speaker 5 some,

Speaker 5 I think he did some Daredevil.

Speaker 3 So he's in the mix. These are big names.
He's not like a fringe guy.

Speaker 5 Oh, no, he's huge. He's huge.

Speaker 5 He essentially holds the corner market and the entire lane of comic book noir right now. Like him.

Speaker 3 listening. Sean Phillips.
Sean Phillips.

Speaker 5 Sean Phillips, the artist, is incredible. Jacob Phillips is great too.

Speaker 3 All right. Well, the Phillips brothers and Ed, if you're listening,

Speaker 5 Jacob's the son. Jacob's the son.
Sean is his bad.

Speaker 3 You know, Sean, he looks so young.

Speaker 3 I can barely tell.

Speaker 3 If you guys are listening and you want to send some.

Speaker 3 How about like an original frame? You know, like what do they call those? When they do the art?

Speaker 5 Can I tell you?

Speaker 3 Sign one and send it to Josh. We'll put it up on the pod here.

Speaker 5 Can I tell you right now, I really blew some money when I was in Austin. I went to Austin Comics,

Speaker 5 and it was Austin Books and Comics, and it was an incredible experience. They had so much, they had the absolute version.

Speaker 5 Absolute is like when they have the extra pages, the extra art, the background stuff, everything. They had the absolutes of so many different titles.

Speaker 5 And I bought a lot of stuff, and they were kind enough to mail it to me because I actually bought too much to carry out.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. That is a lot.
The comic book is, what are we talking about? Two ounces apiece.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but I was buying whole collections. Wow.
So, when they put the whole collection in the big, thick book, that's what I like to get. So, I don't have to keep hunting.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, that's when you know you're kind of doing well when you have the comic stores mailing you. mailing you the merchandise.

Speaker 5 Or you're just like a nerd that grew up. You're just like a nerd with an address now.

Speaker 3 Do you do action figures?

Speaker 5 No, I never got into them as much.

Speaker 5 And I also think that

Speaker 5 they take up space in a different way. So it's like comics, I'm one bookshelf away from like,

Speaker 5 I'm not making a mess anymore.

Speaker 5 Figures, you got to like

Speaker 5 display them well. You got to display them.
Sometimes, I mean, I've had a couple friends who really had their lights set up a certain way to shine on the figures.

Speaker 3 So, yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's more of a a lifestyle choice than a standard collection

Speaker 3 would be.

Speaker 5 And for anybody who's into comic books, they know somebody comes over and sees all those books on your shelf. Initially, they're like, wow, what a well-read man.

Speaker 5 If you walk in and see nothing but the figures,

Speaker 5 you know what's up.

Speaker 5 You know what time it is.

Speaker 5 You know what I mean? Like, I can convince someone that some of these comic books have historical

Speaker 5 value. like they're they're a whole graphic it's literature yes yes there's there's graphic novels of like whole historical movements and stuff but the figures

Speaker 3 yeah it's like that's a my little pony first edition yeah yeah yeah

Speaker 5 and no matter how much money it's worth

Speaker 5 it's not enough to make up for what people think as soon as they see it right No, I agree.

Speaker 3 I agree. I keep mine all out of the case.

Speaker 3 I'm getting to wrap it up because they don't, they don't, I think this isn't exactly biting news commentary.

Speaker 5 No, no, this isn't the hard-hitting stuff.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, nothing else really happens. Zoron, these are just small stories no one probably has any interest in online.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah. Where were you when Zoron won?

Speaker 3 I was in Connecticut checking out real estate. Sheesh.

Speaker 5 Wow, wow.

Speaker 3 No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
Guys, don't write in. Don't write in.

Speaker 3 Don't write

Speaker 5 Do you think people will move? Do you think that the threat of the moving is real?

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 3 I think you... It's hard because if you have a...

Speaker 3 I think people just move eventually anyway. It's very hard to just stay in New York through your 40s.

Speaker 5 Sure, sure.

Speaker 5 I will even say this. I think that when someone...
says like I'm gonna move if this person wins if this if this party wins whatever

Speaker 5 to your point yes, it's like you are probably going to move at some point anyway. But I find it's a lot like when you get fired from a job right as you start to lose interest in doing that job anyway.

Speaker 3 Exactly.

Speaker 5 It's like these two things found each other. It's not like, oh, this new manager is going to fire me.
It's like, no,

Speaker 5 I stopped enjoying entering the data right around the time this new person got hired anyway. And they happen to notice I don't like entering data.
And this is a data entry, you know.

Speaker 3 I did that job once data entry yeah I couldn't believe it I was like there has to be a because you're sitting at a computer and you're like surely the computer can do this I mean data entry was the first one where I was like

Speaker 3 oh

Speaker 5 yeah AI AI it's ridiculous like that was I don't know anyone who did data entry that was like I can't believe AI took my job

Speaker 3 I can't believe AI wasn't doing this in the first place even AI must be like Jesus, can we get a human to do this? This is, what are we doing here? What was I asking?

Speaker 3 Oh, did you have material on that that you're going out with already? Or how are you doing?

Speaker 5 Is that a good thing? No, I already did it.

Speaker 3 I thought you did it. You're so ahead of the curve.

Speaker 5 I try. I mean, it's just, to me, it's like the funniest things that happen were things either during debates or there were moments where it was like...

Speaker 5 It just, yeah, it's just so rare that you see someone hate someone with a smile. Like the way he would like smile after saying something about Cuomo was like

Speaker 5 Cuomo genuinely caught it from all angles because even even Sleewa was over here serving Cuomo hard.

Speaker 3 Couldn't stand him. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Crazy. Hated this dude.

Speaker 3 Hated him.

Speaker 5 Hated him. Hated his guts.
Hated him so much.

Speaker 5 And then Mamdotti on the other side, you know, and then he would say, he would say, like, so, so Mamdani would be making what I think is like at least a salient point.

Speaker 5 Like I think a lot of people go for

Speaker 5 everything that he was campaigning on because they're like, oh, okay,

Speaker 5 this thing,

Speaker 5 even if it doesn't fully affect me, I can see how this thing would bring costs down for everybody, which would make maybe, who knows, everybody a little bit more pleasant.

Speaker 5 Even if that's your whole political analysis of his entire campaign, I think that it's a little bit,

Speaker 5 it's a little bit more optimistic and a little better than

Speaker 5 the sort of cynical view. Because

Speaker 5 I think that when you are actually having financial struggle, cynicism is just not

Speaker 5 going to win you any friends. And so for everything that Zoran said he would do,

Speaker 5 you know,

Speaker 5 what

Speaker 5 Cuomo would be out here being like, you can't get that done.

Speaker 5 And so

Speaker 5 I think that only hurts you.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Cuomo is kind of a negative force. And he also, I don't, don't you get like Al Pacino energy out of him? I don't, I can't watch him and not think it's like scent of a woman or something.

Speaker 3 He's like, Zoron wants to take away all the

Speaker 3 stores. Is that Pacino? I don't know.

Speaker 5 I mean, I don't know if that was fully Pacino, but I do get what you mean. I do get, I do get,

Speaker 5 I do get the vibe you're putting out because that, you're not wrong. It's like,

Speaker 5 imagin, I don't know, just imagine somebody wants your vote and all they have to say is

Speaker 5 don't vote for the other guy. Not even because I have better ideas.

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Speaker 3 What else happened? We had FIFA with a Peace Prize. Did you see that? FIFA, the soccer

Speaker 3 org.

Speaker 3 They were like, we're going to do a Peace Prize for Trump.

Speaker 3 I don't know if you saw this story.

Speaker 5 No, no, I was not paying attention to this. I feel like, here's my thing about the Peace Prize thing.

Speaker 5 I feel like if you want to give him a consolation one, that's fine.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 5 he wants the Nobel

Speaker 5 and everything,

Speaker 5 every presidency perfectly runs up against the time for the Nobel.

Speaker 5 Is it? Like when you think about it, he doesn't get it because it's like when people want a Grammy but release the album too late or early.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah,

Speaker 3 in the season, yeah. You got to be close so when they remember it come voting time.

Speaker 5 But then he was too close because you saw with the ceasefire, that was like the next day they announced the winner, so they didn't already pick the winner.

Speaker 3 I know they had the ballots out already.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah. There's nothing you could do at that point.
That's like dropping a really, really great show right before the Emmys.

Speaker 3 Right, because then next year,

Speaker 3 the Middle East thing, they'll be like, oh, that's that's old news. So he's not going to get next year for that.

Speaker 3 That's too bad.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's tough.

Speaker 3 I mean, there were tariffs that are going before the Supreme Court. Do you remember tariffs?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I remember tariffs.

Speaker 5 It's funny. I have friends who are just now finally buying something that they have to pay a tariff for.

Speaker 3 Ugh, that must hurt.

Speaker 5 But like, double the price. Like, when he said 100% tariffs, like,

Speaker 5 there was something.

Speaker 5 I don't know if my buddy bought a candle.

Speaker 5 He bought something.

Speaker 3 A candle?

Speaker 3 Come on. Yeah.
He can buy an American-made candle, Josh.

Speaker 5 It was, I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was.

Speaker 3 I like the friends you have that are complaining about their candle prices.

Speaker 3 Sure, sure.

Speaker 5 But then.

Speaker 3 It's like I'm burning money here.

Speaker 5 42 bucks was the tax

Speaker 5 for a thing that's not heavy.

Speaker 5 You know what I mean? Like, I understand. Look, hey, if you want to get your deer stand from Mexico and it ends up being like extra

Speaker 5 100 bucks or something like that, it's very nice deer stand, whatever. But this is like a small item and $42

Speaker 5 at the border. Like $42 until they coughed up the money.
And that is, that's, that's wild. So I think that, you know, I'd be really, I'm genuinely asking this.

Speaker 5 I'm interested in your thoughts on it, because I think that if the Supreme Court

Speaker 5 kind of calls or creates some sort of stop to his tariffing power, which which I think some of that's supposed to go through Congress anyway.

Speaker 5 Like, I don't think you can just tariff the hell out of the entire world and threaten corporations with tariffs as like a president.

Speaker 5 But anyway, I think that if I think if that happens, that would actually be really good for the market and for people.

Speaker 5 Because I think that Trump is in a position now with the shutdown, with tariffs, with most of his agenda, that anything that is like clearly not working or is bad or weakens the dollar too much or hurts America on the world stage, he is a little, you know, he's a little bit more than a little bit too proud to just back back down and not do it.

Speaker 5 Um, especially after they were calling him um um

Speaker 5 taco,

Speaker 5 so it's like

Speaker 5 Trump always chickens out, chickens out,

Speaker 5 and I think that that would be the thing that he needed to roll them back because then he could say, see, I can't even do my agenda because Supreme Court's not on my side.

Speaker 5 When really he's probably like, oh, thank God, I can finally take this like thing off of Canada because I basically like torched a lot of of our trade talks.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's true. What's interesting is he seems to be getting a lot of like he'll propose something,

Speaker 3 then he'll say he wasn't really doing it. And meanwhile, the market is going up and down every day.

Speaker 3 He'll be like, I'm going to do this, and then it goes up. Oh, no, I'm going to do, I really mean this, and then it goes down.
No, I will do this.

Speaker 3 And it's a little like, geez, take it easy. Like, can you, why don't you sit alone in a room for a little bit and then you come back out

Speaker 5 with one plan?

Speaker 3 Yeah, like it changes every day.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, I don't, like, even with the shutdown, man, I think that the

Speaker 5 best possible thing that could happen is, and I don't even know how this would happen, but is a way for the leverage the Dems have to be exercised so completely that then when the

Speaker 5 Republicans come back to the table, it can look like it's outside of Trump's purview. And I don't know how you would square that.
Like I like, I really don't know how that would come to be.

Speaker 5 But, you know, this is a guy who's like, art of the deal is be crazy first. Like, be so crazy that people are like, well, we just want any deal with you because you're clearly crazy.

Speaker 5 And that is where we're at right now. But like, I'm telling you, man, like

Speaker 5 a few planes

Speaker 3 like

Speaker 5 crashing from lack of air traffic control or lack of attention to landing times and speeds and everything like that.

Speaker 5 And it's like every bad thing that happens is laid at the feet of the party in power. So I just, yeah, I don't know where you go from here, man.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 they're shutting some of the airport capacity because of the shutdown.

Speaker 3 So they're limiting flights in certain airports. I don't know.
I mean, you travel a lot.

Speaker 3 You're out now.

Speaker 3 Flying, I think I've noticed, I've noticed about customer service in general. It has just gone through, it is cratered.
It's gotten so much worse in the last four years.

Speaker 3 But flying has also gotten so much worse. Don't you feel like that? Or you don't notice the change?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, I try to keep a generally decent disposition, which I think helps most situations.

Speaker 5 Like, even when a gate agent really wants to curse me out, I think the fact that I'm not angry, it like diffuses it a little bit.

Speaker 5 And also like a gate agent will, if you, it's possible to cozy up to a gate agent and find out some information you're not even supposed to know.

Speaker 3 They do have power.

Speaker 5 They have a lot of power.

Speaker 5 There was one time I was talking to this gate agent and

Speaker 5 she was,

Speaker 5 I was about to start like talking to her again because I had already been over there before. And sometimes when you go up the second or third time, you're annoying.

Speaker 5 But like with me, I was like, we had a little bit of a rapport and we had joked a little bit so then she

Speaker 5 i'm walking up as she's giving the announcement like uh we're hearing from the i think she said we're hearing from the flight deck 10 more minutes just 10 more minutes and then when i walk up there as soon as she takes her like finger off the intercom thing she looks at me and she's like

Speaker 5 and i was like yeah fair enough like i think that she gave you the head start to get to the uh delta counter and get another flight yeah yeah because because when i tell you that

Speaker 5 i think gate agents are such a perfect um

Speaker 5 they're a perfect metaphor for like the structures we've set up because they're literally this this is how it works so the person who made your flight miserable will never be there they'll never be at the airport they don't even fly that airline they fly private right

Speaker 5 but they make decisions that ruin your day slash experience whatever and then they also are a person who like will make a mandate that makes the company worse and not have to answer for it.

Speaker 5 But who they send,

Speaker 5 the only person that can help you is also the only person you could possibly yell at that works here. Because, like, custodians, they work at the airport.
There's no like Delta custodian.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 And so it's like the only person that you could be like, wait, why would you sell me flight insurance if you're not going to insure my flight?

Speaker 5 Like, that person is also the only person that can make sure that you get to Cincinnati. And so, what they've done is they've bottlenecked the

Speaker 5 expression of like anger at the design,

Speaker 5 the design of the corporation. So, for instance, like when you go to customer service and when you go to a gate agent, I didn't even realize this.
This is insane.

Speaker 5 So, you know how if it's like an act of God, they don't have to give you a hotel room or a meal ticket or any of that stuff?

Speaker 5 That's right. Okay.

Speaker 5 They will, sometimes the pilot will literally tell you the truth right the pilot will be like hey sorry this like thing that's supposed to go next to my foot is broken i think somebody broke it in miami and then flew here with it broken so we gotta get it fixed like literally will tell you how mechanical and how avoidable the problem is be communicating that with you on the plane the entire time but then when you get off the person who should be handing you you know whatever meal voucher or whatever thing to a hotel is like oh oh, actually, right here, it says it's because of the storm.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 5 And there's no way to fight that. And that is like, and that is crazy.
And so whenever I see people snap at a, at an airport, I'm not saying you're allowed to treat anybody bad.

Speaker 5 I'm not saying you're allowed to talk to anybody kind of way. But like when I see somebody just snap as in like, just lose their personal mind, I'm always like, yeah, I kind of get that.

Speaker 3 I know. I feel like I identify the most with those people sometimes.

Speaker 3 I don't snap, but when I see someone else who's who's like, what the fuck? And then smashing like a flat screen, I'm like, now that,

Speaker 3 that I understand.

Speaker 3 I do understand what he's going through.

Speaker 5 It's like, as soon as you, here's my thing. I think you are allowed to freak out as much as you want or should be, as long as you take five steps back from the gate agent's desk.

Speaker 5 Like if you, if you, if you had already backed up to be like, hey, I'm going to need a little room, y'all.

Speaker 5 Like, I think being insane and losing your mind should get the same courtesy as someone who's about to do the worm.

Speaker 5 You know, when you're on the dance floor as somebody about to do the worm, they tell you. Make room.

Speaker 5 Make a little room. Make a little room because I will be on that floor.

Speaker 3 They should have a circle

Speaker 3 at the desk. There should be a flat screen already broken that you're allowed to hit.

Speaker 3 You know, let people get into it.

Speaker 3 I know exactly what you're saying. I always like the expression

Speaker 3 an act of God as the excuse. Yeah.
Because then you get those fundamentalist Christians, and it's like, yeah, the landing gear is broken. That's an act of God.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 3 You know, everything's an act of God.

Speaker 3 All right. Well, that was what we missed.
And that was some great content. A lot of clippable stuff there.

Speaker 5 I hope.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And that's the plan.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh, absolutely. I mean, this is, we're doing numbers on this pod today, Josh.

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Speaker 3 Now, we don't know what's going to happen this week because

Speaker 3 we're not clear yet. Yeah, you know, it's hard to really predict anything.
Is there anything you'd like to happen?

Speaker 5 I mean, it would be crazy.

Speaker 5 I say this every time before I host, but it would be crazy if those like Epstein files dropped in the way that people have, the way that people have designed them in their mind.

Speaker 5 Because this is the other thing that you got to remember is that the actual like Epstein files, the way that you would watch a spy movie don't exist that way.

Speaker 5 People's involvement could be uncovered with Epstein and going to his island and stuff like that, but like the logs are already out. Like, there's so many things that are already out.

Speaker 5 But I think that if you had some explosive, like clear-cut

Speaker 5 reporting, that would be huge. But I just don't know if that's going to happen because like all of the things that are clear-cut are still kind of murky in a way.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and I don't know what people expect. It's not like the accounting is going to be great on Child Sex Island.

Speaker 3 You know, it's like, okay, now which one of you had sex with

Speaker 3 Mary Ann here?

Speaker 3 Show of hands. Which CEOs, which one of you?

Speaker 5 Let's get it. I would love to see,

Speaker 5 what is it, Prince Andrew get like a regular job.

Speaker 5 Like, I would love to see him just be weird at like a Hungry Jacks. I think that's what they call them in Europe.

Speaker 3 I don't know if they're all burger kings. Going to a Tesco.
There's Prince Andrew ringing you up. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And really, and

Speaker 5 looks every bit as miserable as he should be working a job when he knows he botched one of the easiest jobs in the world. All you got to do is be you and not do a crime.

Speaker 3 Literally, just don't have sex with children.

Speaker 5 All you got to do.

Speaker 3 The bar is that low.

Speaker 5 The bar is so low because the bar is your blood. The bar is literally, you were born into a royal family.
All you got to do is not do a crime and you will be fine. You can do a lot of crimes.

Speaker 5 You can still do a lot. You could still do a lot, but I think it's best to err on the side of no crime.
I'm just saying.

Speaker 3 If you, I mean, the queen did run the international drug trade, but we'll get that on another episode.

Speaker 5 I mean, if you break me off,

Speaker 5 I've never heard that, but it is funny because of how old she got. Right.

Speaker 5 Like that, like that does make it kind of like more funny to believe that she was some sort of Griselda.

Speaker 3 I mean, she was in the mix for so long from like the 1930s until like three years ago. Yeah.
A lot of people don't have a run like that.

Speaker 5 No, no, no.

Speaker 3 But yeah,

Speaker 3 Prince Andrew at a normal job, that would be. Or they should have made him be one of the guards out front with the hat.

Speaker 5 I think he would get like,

Speaker 5 I think he would get too frazzled.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that'd be the fun. Because they're always trying to get him to laugh and stuff.
And then Taurus could get, they'd be like, aha.

Speaker 3 Here's Prince Andrew. I know how to get him to laugh.

Speaker 3 Hey, Susie, go

Speaker 3 six-year-old daughter. Come on over here.

Speaker 3 Smile at Prince Andrew.

Speaker 3 Okay, so that was potentially... That's your ideal show.
this week would be some Epstein file

Speaker 3 juice coming out. And I agree with you.
I think that would really be, it'd be a fun time and a fun change of pace. And hopefully we can get some.

Speaker 3 We got to take down these big, big shots.

Speaker 3 The other thing we got to do here on the pre-cap is

Speaker 3 a little segment we called Daily Show and Tell.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 Now, what this is.

Speaker 3 is when you, you know, we talk something that's not politics. Now, in this episode, particularly, I don't think we've even dipped a toe into politics, so it's a little bit different.
But for the clip,

Speaker 3 this is the non-politics stuff that might have been on your mind lately. For instance, have you read a good book or watched a movie or

Speaker 3 et cetera? You know, just some light-hearted fare for the Josh Johnson fans out there.

Speaker 5 This is not light-hearted, but I did read a comic book.

Speaker 5 I read a graphic novel that was set in this, you know, sort of whatever imaginary town, but it was

Speaker 5 two serial killers in the same town and they meet. And it's, yeah, it was interesting.
It was like they were both like,

Speaker 5 oh,

Speaker 5 are you like me? Are you different?

Speaker 5 And I thought that it was an interesting read, even though it was very dark.

Speaker 3 Do you have a title? Do you want to to plug it?

Speaker 5 I actually won't plug it. I think I'll plug some more Brewbaker.
Reckless is a phenomenal series, so is Criminal and Killer Be Killed. They're all very, very good.

Speaker 3 You hear that, Mr. Brewbaker? We need the original artwork sent to Josh Johnson here at the Daily Show.
We're plugging it in for that. No, she should send it for free.

Speaker 3 We've just done a plug

Speaker 3 on the Daily Show precap, which is one of the biggest podcasts in America right right now.

Speaker 5 I'm worried about free, though. Like, I don't know.
I'm always uncomfortable with free.

Speaker 3 I'm not at all. You know what? I'll take it, and you can buy it from me.
So, Mr. Brewbaker, if you're listening,

Speaker 3 send me some artwork, and I'll sell it to Josh at market prices. Okay.

Speaker 3 I guess I should, in terms of what I've been watching,

Speaker 3 or reading. I'm reading a lot of children's books.
As you know, I have a child, a young,

Speaker 3 I don't know if it's an infant or a toddler, to be honest.

Speaker 5 Oh, when that crossover happens, yeah.

Speaker 3 I guess he, he's, he's

Speaker 5 toddling, I don't know.

Speaker 3 Is that what he crawls? So, anyway, I don't know what he is, but he, yeah, he's in one of those camps.

Speaker 3 I mean, you know, with the label, and I'm reading a lot of kids' books, and man, these things are

Speaker 3 the bar is so low to make a kids' book, Josh. It's like unbelievable.

Speaker 3 the blue chips. I'm talking the ultimate kids' books.
Good night moon. You heard of Good Night Moon?

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%.

Speaker 3 I went into Good Night Moon thinking this is going to be this is going to be a good one. This is going to be a hit.

Speaker 3 This is one of the worst books.

Speaker 3 It's almost so nonsensical. You're reading, you're like, this is like one of, you know, when they did LSD all the time back in the old days.

Speaker 3 It almost makes no sense. And out of the gate, she rhymes, the woman who writes it, she goes, Good Night moon.

Speaker 3 Good night painting of the cow jumping over the moon. So she's first rhyme is the same word.
Yeah, moon twice. Yeah.
Of all the options. And then it's downhill from there.

Speaker 3 And she's just throwing objects. It's like,

Speaker 3 this is what's the, that's the classic. That's the gold standard.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 But it's for the kids alone.

Speaker 3 But you know what? They don't know anything. And that's, but you know what? Maybe it's good.
Maybe it's good to start them on a bad book.

Speaker 3 Children's literature should be terrible, so then it gets better.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Maybe that's the theory.
It's like, look how terrible these books are. The pictures.

Speaker 5 To be fair, these people are just learning to read. So to give them too good of a book would be to waste a story.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 You're right. I don't know.
You know, I want to apologize to the estate of whoever wrote Good Night Moon.

Speaker 3 Send me a free copy.

Speaker 3 I'll give it to Josh. Anything else? We got to close it up, Josh.
You know,

Speaker 3 these things got to be tight. And,

Speaker 3 you know,

Speaker 3 I'm sure that after heavy editing, we'll get there.

Speaker 3 But, you know, I don't know if you have any final words.

Speaker 3 If you want to plug your, why don't you plug you hosting the daily show this week here on the precap? Go ahead and why don't you plug that?

Speaker 5 Hey, everybody. I am hosting the show Tuesday through Thursday of this week.
So tune in this week like you would any other week, but please extra because I'm going to be hosting.

Speaker 5 So tune in like you would regularly, but then also watch on your phone later and then maybe throw up that paramount and watch it there.

Speaker 5 Just throwing that out there.

Speaker 3 There you have it. Keep streaming.
And even better, I'm not going to be hosting, so you won't see me anymore. So that's another reason to tune in, everyone.
And we'll we'll see you next week.

Speaker 3 Thank you, Josh. Thanks, everyone, for listening.

Speaker 5 Thanks so much.

Speaker 11 Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 11 Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.

Speaker 3 This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

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