DOGE Protestors Turn on Tesla & Astronauts Make It Home | Anthony Carrigan

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Speaker 3 From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news.
This is the Daily Journal with your host, Jordan Clever.

Speaker 3 What's today? It's John Gordon Clapper.

Speaker 6 We got so much to talk about tonight. Elon Musk wants you to stop bullying his cars.
Michael Costa finds out the meaning of St. Patrick's Day.
And those astronauts finally return to Earth.

Speaker 6 And boy, did they have a lot of unread emails.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 6 let's get into headlines.

Speaker 6 First, first, some big breaking news. Donald Trump has released 64,000 pages of long-secret JFK files.
So we could finally learn who really killed JFK. And guess what? Turns out it was heart disease.

Speaker 6 Yeah, the man loved his French fries.

Speaker 6 But speaking of a once-in-a-generation charming sex machine, Elon Musk. Now,

Speaker 4 oh baby, I love it. I love it.

Speaker 6 Now, he's the world's richest man, the leader of Doge, and guy who thinks Sauron is the hero of the story.

Speaker 6 And say what you want about Elon, but he certainly has his fans. I love Tesla.

Speaker 6 I'm not saying Donald Trump is racist, but that man does love a hard R.

Speaker 6 But if you step outside of the White House, you'll find a backlash brewing against the founder of Tesla.

Speaker 7 Lawmakers across the country facing anger and outrage from their constituents at town hall meetings, and the primary source of the blowback is Elon Musk.

Speaker 9 What are you doing to stop the activities of unelected and unconfirmed Elon Musk?

Speaker 10 Elon Musk does have a security pledge.

Speaker 11 We need to find out what Elon Musk is doing and how we can stop it.

Speaker 10 Elon Musk, Elon Musk has conflicts of interest out the wazoo.

Speaker 15 I support Elon Musk and the Department of Government Efficiency.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 8 tough crowd.

Speaker 6 You know you're in trouble when you even pissed off the kid with the cherry eight ball sweater.

Speaker 6 It's like the chillest sweater there is.

Speaker 6 These crowds have been so angry towards these congressmen, some of them have decided to stop holding town halls altogether, which feels a little thin skin, considering this is basically the same kind of vitriol that Appleby's bartender gets when the white wine's not filled to the brim.

Speaker 6 Again, Kyle, I'm sorry I flew off the handle. Papa needs his Pinot Grig.

Speaker 6 And some people are not content to just scream about Elot in a high school gym. They're taking to the streets or the

Speaker 6 parking lots.

Speaker 12 Tonight, the FBI and ATF are now investigating multiple cases of possible arson targeting Teslas and cybertrucks.

Speaker 16 This dramatic video shows multiple cars in flames. Police say the attacker used Molotov cocktails.
It's the latest in more than a dozen instances of arson and vandalism targeting Tesla.

Speaker 19 The same suspect shot more Teslas with a gun. Tesla cybertrucks were set on fire in Kansas City, and earlier this month, shots fired at a Tesla dealership in Oregon.
Cybertrucks on fire in Seattle.

Speaker 6 Wow, you guys like petty acts of domestic terrorism, huh?

Speaker 6 Wow. Okay, let me just say, nobody should be breaking the law and blowing up Teslas.
Especially because if you just wait a few minutes, they'll probably do it by themselves.

Speaker 6 And in case you're wondering why people might do this, some have been leaving helpful messages.

Speaker 20 This is what Tesla employees in Encinitas saw when they arrived to work today. The vandalism is too graphic to show in its entirety.

Speaker 20 We blurred out the swastika on this white Tesla as well as the F-word on two different windows in front of the dealership. Nazi and scum were written as well.

Speaker 6 I think

Speaker 4 you might have wanted to blur out a little more there because

Speaker 6 now it just looks like they just wrote.

Speaker 6 Obviously, Elon has has a lot of kids so he's got a lot of, you know, but

Speaker 6 you don't have to be so overt.

Speaker 6 The point is there's a ton of rage directed at Elon right now which is why last night he went on Sean Hannity and made the case for his victimhood.

Speaker 18 Bullets are being fired, charging stations are put ablaze, Teslas are being put ablaze.

Speaker 6 What have you done that warrants this?

Speaker 18 Because I see nothing that you have done except help our country.

Speaker 21 Yeah, I mean it's really come as quite a shock to me that there's this level of really hatred and violence from the left. Tesla is a peaceful company.
We've never done anything harmful.

Speaker 21 I've never done anything harmful. I've only done productive things.

Speaker 6 I shouldn't have to explain this to Elon, but it's not about the Teslas.

Speaker 6 Teslas are actually pretty cool as a car. It's got that all glass thing going on, kind of like a Popemobile that f ⁇ ks.

Speaker 6 It's got door handles that are hard to find, which is what everybody wants in a door handle.

Speaker 6 Everything in the car is electronic, so if it malfunctions, you just drown in it, you know? It's like a free coffin.

Speaker 2 It's cool. It's cool.

Speaker 6 I give them credit. I don't think people, though, are mad at you because of the Teslas, Elon.
If I were to hazard a guess, about why they'd be mad.

Speaker 6 It might be because in the last several weeks, you fired tens of thousands of federal workers, you made cuts to veterans care, life-saving foreign aid, and food banks, you canceled important medical research, sometimes so abruptly that this happened.

Speaker 24 Clinical trials funded by USAID, medical experiments have been stopped midstream. Some people have medical devices still in their bodies because the trials were abruptly stopped.

Speaker 2 Yeah!

Speaker 6 People might get a little upset if you stopped their medical trial halfway through them. Imagine you had to stop getting your malaria medication or going home with half a butt lift.

Speaker 17 Imagine it!

Speaker 17 Imagine it!

Speaker 6 You'll never buy pants off the rack again!

Speaker 6 Or here, here's another guess. Maybe people are mad at you because you don't seem to know what the f you're doing.

Speaker 6 I'm guessing! I'm guessing!

Speaker 22 Guess it, I guess it, okay, because

Speaker 6 you fired aviation safety staff, then you had to hire them back. You fired nuclear safety inspectors, then you had to hire them back.
You cut funding for Ebola prevention and then said, oopsie.

Speaker 26 One of the things we accidentally canceled very briefly was Ebola. It was Ebola prevention.
I think we all want Ebola prevention.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I think we do.

Speaker 6 And if someone just accidentally cut it, I think we'd all be pretty bad. I might even banksy some third Reich ejaculates.

Speaker 6 Look, look, I could come up with more reasons, but let's be honest. Elon knows why people are mad at him.

Speaker 6 We know he's not as smart as he pretends to be, but he's also not as dumb as he's pretending to be right now.

Speaker 6 And when he goes on Sean Hannity to complain about why people hate him, he's just proving that the troll king of the internet can't handle the consequences of the real world. But you know what?

Speaker 22 You know what, Elon?

Speaker 22 You know what? No.

Speaker 22 Here.

Speaker 6 Elon, Elon, if you genuinely want people to not hate you, you could focus on the things you are good at. I mean, you did get those astronauts back.

Speaker 6 It was a beautiful moment.

Speaker 11 The astronaut pair who faced a prolonged stay in space, nine months versus a planned one week, are back on Earth tonight.

Speaker 16 It was a team effort between the Trump administration, Elon Musk, and SpaceX.

Speaker 23 And how about this welcoming committee? Like we just mentioned, a pod of dolphins seen swimming around as the astronauts waited to be escorted out of the SpaceX dragon capsule.

Speaker 6 You know what? I think that's great. Look, I have to not be a hater for a second, okay?

Speaker 6 Elon brought them back safely from space after being stranded there for months and dolphins even showed up to say hi.

Speaker 2 That is incredible.

Speaker 6 I mean I wish the dolphins hadn't welcomed them back with a sing hile, but still, still.

Speaker 6 It's a beautiful moment for humanity. Now, it was a joyous moment, but those astronauts were gone a long, long

Speaker 6 time. Thankfully, the good folks at NASA prepared a video to help them acclimate to the world they're coming back to.

Speaker 1 Hello, astronauts, and welcome back to Earth. You got to see dolphins before they went extinct.

Speaker 3 How cool is that?

Speaker 1 As you are flown back to the U.S., this video will re-acclimate your mind on what you missed while you were in space. First, the Gulf of Mexico you landed in is now the Gulf of America.

Speaker 1 But don't worry, the name change is symbolic. We're not going to war with Mexico.
We're going to war with Canada and Greenland. Maybe Panama.
Also, Mexico.

Speaker 1 Oh, speaking of wars, when you left, it was Russia that invaded Ukraine. Now it's the other way around.
Don't worry about it. For now, just focus on resting.
And after you enter U.S.

Speaker 1 territory, your space capsule will face crippling steel tariffs, and you will be deported to an El Salvadoran prison, just until we're sure that you're not Venezuelan gang members.

Speaker 1 And after your release in 2026, you will be honored at the White House,

Speaker 1 which is now run by Fox News anchors.

Speaker 1 Also, the anti-vaccine guy is now in charge of vaccines, the anti-FBI guy is now in charge of the FBI. And the lady in charge of the WWE runs the education department, which is gone.

Speaker 1 These great leaders will welcome you all back, except for astronaut Sonny Williams. See, when you left, you were a female astronaut, and now you're a DEI astronaut, and also you're fired.

Speaker 1 But don't worry, you'll find another job. Although, just a heads up, the stock market is down and eggs are $400.
But those are both good things, and also Joe Biden's fault.

Speaker 1 At this point, you're probably wondering, when can NASA send me back up to space? Well, it probably can't. NASA just got dodged, which is a real sentence now.

Speaker 1 So from all of us here in America, welcome to hell. Earth, welcome back to Earth.

Speaker 22 When we come back, we honor the luck of the Irish. Don't go away.

Speaker 22 Welcome back to the Daily Show.

Speaker 23 Monday was St.

Speaker 6 Patrick's Day, when Irish Americans honor their heritage with careful readings of the writings of James Joyce, group performances of traditional Irish music, and a somber reflection of the beauty of the Celtic language.

Speaker 6 But how do you celebrate being Irish in the Donald Trump era? Michael Acosta hit the streets to find out.

Speaker 28 One of Trump's top priorities is getting rid of DEI.

Speaker 13 DEI would have ruined our country and now it's dead.

Speaker 10 Identity months are dead. Some of the months that they're targeting.
Black History Month, Pride Month, National Hispanic Heritage Month, Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month.

Speaker 15 But even though he hates celebrating these minority groups, for some reason there's one group he loves to celebrate.

Speaker 13 The Irish. Oh, I think the Irish love Trump.
We won the Irish with a tremendous amount of vote. They're great people.
And they voted for me in heavy numbers, so I like them even more.

Speaker 28 So I stopped by New York's St. Patty's Day parade to see how Irish Trump supporters were celebrating their new status as Trump's BFS.

Speaker 29 All right, what brings you here today?

Speaker 3 Come here to be with my friends and to

Speaker 4 show Trump that I support him. Yeah.

Speaker 8 I guess I'm confused.

Speaker 29 Is this a Trump rally or is this an Irish parade?

Speaker 3 It's an Irish Trump rally.

Speaker 29 Men in skirts? Trump is not going to like that.

Speaker 31 Do you stand for DEI? No.

Speaker 4 But we're here celebrating the minorities that are the Irish.

Speaker 32 Well, look, I'm very connected.

Speaker 32 You know, back in the 1800s, the Irish were minorities.

Speaker 30 They were coming overseas, you know, when they came across the ocean. I mean, they were discriminated against.

Speaker 30 They signed up and fought for the Union in the Civil War.

Speaker 10 You can connect with how difficult it must have been for people to come over to the United States, be discriminated against, not be favored nations.

Speaker 29 You can connect with that.

Speaker 4 But what about other people that are doing that now?

Speaker 3 They need to wait in line.

Speaker 30 Look,

Speaker 3 I had,

Speaker 3 in a former life,

Speaker 3 I had a foreign-born spouse.

Speaker 4 Bye.

Speaker 29 Just me, I'm Irish. That shirt's DEI.

Speaker 15 Kisses should be merit-based.

Speaker 30 Hey, look, I think celebrating Black History Month is good. I think celebrating MLK,

Speaker 30 who fought for our civil rights is incredible.

Speaker 30 I went up against the the band-aids in New York City. I fought for my civil rights because I was being discriminated against for not getting vaccinated.

Speaker 15 This guy was just like MLK, except he didn't take a shot from the government.

Speaker 8 These Trump supporters also had a lot of other important observations.

Speaker 5 When I went to school, we had welding, we had shop.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the kids don't have nothing anymore. They don't have nothing.
My father taught me how to put wires in, plummet, all that stuff. These kids don't have a friggin'.

Speaker 27 You You don't think dads are teaching kids how to put wires in anymore?

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 4 No, not really.

Speaker 27 But is that on the government or is that on the dad?

Speaker 4 I'd say it's the government.

Speaker 22 You think Trump knows how to put wires in?

Speaker 27 You think Trump put wires in here?

Speaker 31 You bet he does.

Speaker 5 All right.

Speaker 15 There you have it.

Speaker 28 As long as Trump teaches kids how to put wires back in, he and the Irish are building a friendship that will last a lifetime.

Speaker 13 The EU was set up in order to take advantage of the United States.

Speaker 30 Including Ireland? Is Ireland taking advantage of the U.S.?

Speaker 13 Of course they are.

Speaker 15 Well, that was quick.

Speaker 15 Thank you, Michael. We'll come back.
Anthony Kerrigan will be joining me on the show. Don't go away.

Speaker 15 Welcome back to the Danny Show.

Speaker 6 My guest tonight is an Emmy nominated actor whose new film is called Death of a Unicorn. Please welcome Anthony Kerrigan.

Speaker 33 Welcome, Anthony. Welcome.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 8 Great to be here.

Speaker 6 This Death of a Unicorn

Speaker 6 They tell you what happens right there in the title.

Speaker 33 It's a bit of a spoiler in the title, it's true, but in a lot of ways, it's your classic, you know, unicorn horror comedy.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 33 You know, just your run-of-the-mill unicorn horror comedy.

Speaker 6 I was gonna say, unicorns are real in this horror comedy. Oh, they sure are.

Speaker 6 Did you find out, if they didn't go into it in the movie, is the unicorn blood what keeps Paul Rudd's face so young and smooth?

Speaker 33 Oh my god, that's been this entire press campaign.

Speaker 25 It's like unicorn blood for Paul.

Speaker 33 But no, I mean, no, truly, these things, I mean, because there were a lot of practical effects, which is, is, I think, what are people going to, you know,

Speaker 6 they didn't use, they did use real unicorns.

Speaker 33 No, no, they built them.

Speaker 3 They built the unicorns.

Speaker 2 They looked cool.

Speaker 8 They looked like they were real.

Speaker 33 But they were huge and these massive set pieces that were just so cool to look at. And it's kind of a throwback to like Jim Henson in like 80s and 90s movies.
Yeah. Yeah, so it's so much fun.

Speaker 6 I feel like they move through the space almost like Velociraptors.

Speaker 8 They sure do. Yeah.

Speaker 33 There's definitely some Jurassic Park moments to this.

Speaker 6 Although I wanted it to be a little bit more real. Like, not that unicorns aren't real, but that if they were, RFK Jr.
would be eating them, you know?

Speaker 33 Listen, it's still early in the year, so like who knows really what's going to happen. Yeah.

Speaker 6 You're silent for the majority of this.

Speaker 32 It's true, yes.

Speaker 6 How do you prep? to be a, to find a, are you looking in the mirror? Are you practicing responses?

Speaker 6 How do you find your silence?

Speaker 33 You know, funnily enough, it's pretty much just listening.

Speaker 8 What? Yeah, just listening. Say that.

Speaker 33 I know, I know, truly. It's just listening.
It's just a lot of showing. I mean, you know, you need to

Speaker 33 know all the beats. You actually have to kind of know what's going on more because you don't have any lines to kind of

Speaker 33 fill things with, fill the moments with.

Speaker 33 So instead, you kind of have to be really paying attention, listening, and knowing what's up.

Speaker 6 So you can't just bullshit with words.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 3 I wouldn't go that far.

Speaker 6 Trust me, it's a great tag because I use it often.

Speaker 8 Totally.

Speaker 6 You find so much in all the characters that you do. I loved you on Barry as No Ho Hank.
And yeah, amazing.

Speaker 22 Thank you.

Speaker 6 Is it true that you were only supposed to be in the first episode and you were going to die at the end?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 33 You're right. My character was supposed to be killed off in the first episode.

Speaker 33 And yeah, like my character gets shot. Sorry, spoiler from like eight years ago.

Speaker 6 Yeah, come on, stream it, you guys.

Speaker 3 Catch up.

Speaker 33 But yeah, then Bill just decided, you know, after I was shot, you know, because it was in a car, he was just like, just open, open the car door and fall out.

Speaker 2 Really?

Speaker 25 So he opened a literal door for me to survive.

Speaker 6 But what do you think? What was it? You guys just had a connection? It was like, oh, there's more here than just killing somebody in a car?

Speaker 2 I guess so.

Speaker 33 I don't know. He just liked my goofy accent and what I was doing.

Speaker 6 This is, you hide behind goofy accents. I sure do.

Speaker 33 This, yeah, we're really kind of coming to the

Speaker 8 crux of it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you're not a Chechnyan gangster.

Speaker 33 No, no, which is a big surprise to a lot of people.

Speaker 6 You even throw a Scottish accent in Death of a Unit? I sure did.

Speaker 33 Yes, I sure did. I mean, I auditioned with it, and then it was like months until

Speaker 33 I got the call to come do it. Only at which point I realized, I don't know.
Like, I have to now do a Scottish accent. Like, what am I going to do?

Speaker 6 What are you hiding from?

Speaker 33 Yeah, truly. Yeah, just, I don't know, I'm from Massachusetts, and maybe at some point, you know, yeah, I'll do the mass accent.

Speaker 6 I was going to say, that's a fun one to play around with.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it sure is.

Speaker 6 Ben Affleck isn't creating some wild drama right now that you could sneak into?

Speaker 25 Probably, yeah.

Speaker 33 Probably.

Speaker 6 You've also been working on the new Superman movie.

Speaker 32 That's right.

Speaker 2 Right? Yes.

Speaker 6 You are Metamorpho, is that correct?

Speaker 33 Yeah, I play a character named Metamorpho, and I feel like I've already talked too much about the movie because it's so top secret.

Speaker 33 But honestly, it was such a blast to work on. James Gunn is just a phenomenal director.

Speaker 33 And even though it was just this massive movie, it really did feel like really small and intimate and like we were doing something really special. Had a lot of heart.

Speaker 6 Can you tell us what drew you to the character? What was it about Metamorpho that you wanted to play outside of the obvious paycheck?

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Yeah, there's that.

Speaker 8 That was pretty much it.

Speaker 33 I think the, I try to find just kind of some level of pathos in whatever character I'm playing. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Pathos. Pathos.
Pathos draws you to it?

Speaker 33 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just trying to find the humanity in whatever person I'm playing.
That and an accent, you know?

Speaker 6 Yeah, you get to do it. Can you tell us right now? Do you hide who you are in this movie?

Speaker 8 No, but like there's still time to do ADR.

Speaker 33 There's still time to do ADR.

Speaker 6 Okay, so if hopefully the Superman universe can get just a little bit more money, I bet they can scratch it up and you could really add some new layers to it.

Speaker 2 100%. Awesome.

Speaker 6 Well, Death of a Unicorn will be in theaters everywhere March 28th. Anthony Kerrigan.
We're going to take those in.

Speaker 6 That's our show for tonight now. Here it is.
You're loving a Zen.

Speaker 13 Eight days that turned into nine months. It's like a space age Gilligan's Island.

Speaker 1 You guys are way too young to remember this, but in the 1960s, early 70s, there was a show called Gilligan's Island.

Speaker 13 This was like as close as you'd get to Gilligan's Island these days.

Speaker 2 Like modern-day Gilligan's Islands.

Speaker 16 It's like Gilligan's Island, but crazier, sort of a space version of Gilligan's Island here.

Speaker 34 Loved Gilligan's Island. Okay, that's that's not the news.
My bad.

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