TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

We were getting where we couldn't pay the bill.

PG&E asked customers about their biggest concerns so we could address them one by one.

That's terrifying.

That's fair.

Joe, Regional Vice President, PG&E.

We have to run the business in a way that keeps people safe, but it starts driving costs down.

I would love to see that.

We're on our way.

I hope so.

PG&E electricity rates are now lower than they were last year.

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You're listening to Comedy Central. Look it up! Look it up! Look what I do! All right.
I'm out. show.
The worst? The worst. The absolute worst guest.
I've been here 10 years. I want to give

them a run for their money tonight. You think you could do that? I think I could try.
I've had some bad guests. I really think I'm up to it.
Bishop Desmond Tutu. Really? Drunk off his ass.
Wow. You know what was not good? Democratic Senate leader Harry Reid.
We had him on the show, and he was, like, in a coma.

Really? It was so weird. Have you familiar with him? I know who the majority leader is, yes.
If only you'd been in Times Square for us. He'd written a book about his life.
I was asking about his life, And it was literally as though I was telling him a story he'd never heard before. Look at the house you grew up in.
And he was like... Well, I'm from Brooklyn.
Are you from Brooklyn? Yes. No, I was just telling you about my life.
I remember my life, yeah. You do remember your life.
You're from Brooklyn. I could be worse than Harry Reid.
We'll see. I don't think you're going to be worse than Harry Reid.
Already? I'm having a much better time. Is that right? Already.
Good. How are you doing otherwise? Are you, you would like to be the worst? First of all, Curb Your Enthusiasm is a great show.
Oh, thank you. Can I lean back?

Do you mind if I lean back?

Does that bother you?

It doesn't bother me at all.

How about my foot up over here?

I don't mind.

Is that a problem?

It's not very sturdy.

Are you jealous that I'm not wearing a tie?

I am somewhat jealous that you seem very fit.

You almost seem athletic.

You see, you have like an athletic build to some extent.

Can I tell you something?

Please.

People are a little surprised by my athleticism.

I'm going to do. You'd be stymied.
I go around you so fast. You go, gee, Larry David, he can play basketball.
Let me tell you why I would have been stymied if you had done that. Yeah.
Because I don't know, I don't play with a ball that small. You were doing the gesture you were working with.
If you'd be playing with a ping pong ball, you'd say, and I would be, I would be stupefied. So you feel if I went like that.
Yes. Now I feel we're playing basketball.
That's hard to mind though, because your hands go. in.
Yes, no, it's got no definite space. But please, put your feet up.

Foot up?

No one has, that is.

Has anyone done this before?

No one.

No one has put their foot up.

Can I tell you something?

Yes.

I'm a little concerned that I don't have the right sock length to do it.

I'm going to try.

I don't want to, we'll just, let's, let's look at the sock length.

What color are the socks? Also an issue. It's a beigey but the thing is you can't you can't show any skin at all on you know ever in life right when you cross your legs on a man you can't do that let's see i've got the sock length yeah yeah i've got the sock length yeah you're very you know what i would say that you are if I I may? Yes.
Not just athletic, aristocratic to some extent. I see you have a suede shoe, a suede sneaker.
Okay. It's very, very bourgeois.
Wardrobe. I didn't pick it out.
Is that true? Yes. Wardrobe.
Yeah. Everything I'm wearing is wardrobe.
In your life, you have a person that picks out your clothes? No, I steal it from the show.

Oh.

They buy it, and I take it home.

What would you wear?

This, this wardrobe, wardrobe.

All of it?

Underwear.

I got the underwear.

Would you have them do the underwear?

Is that stepping up your relationship with wardrobe to a more intimate place?

To say to them, you know I enjoy... Yeah, I could go Hanes 34.
I could say that, yes. What was giving your druthers? Is this the outfit that you would, or do you feel, are you costumed, do you feel, or in life, is this your show, are these your show clothes? And right after this, you're like, oh, I can't wait to get this pullover off so I can put on my tuxedo.
What's your, what would you do? I walk out of the house with this, and I'll wear it all day. Yeah.
You'll stay with it? I'll stay with it. You won't get a grass stain playing in the yard or anything? John, this is me.
You're talking to me. But you know something? I'm not talking to you.
What? I'm not talking to you. That's not how you dress.
You're right. You know what this is? Yeah.
This is, I run a funeral parlor at night. And so I always dress there because when you see the families and they're obviously grieving and you don't want to show up, obviously looking like a bon vivant.
Yeah. Can I do something now as only a friend would? Please.
Your collar's up a little bit. Is that true? Yeah, yeah.
They were telling me that earlier. Yes.
And it's... Yeah.
Do you know what that is? If I may say it. You've got a runaway collar.
Yeah. No disrespect to you.
Yeah. It's a signal I send to my children every night.
Let them know. It's sweet.
I say, kids, watch your daddy. And if you see, I'm going to take one aspect of my clothing.

That is so sweet.

And I'm going to roll it up.

Carol Burnett had this.

Yes, I know.

I have this.

I don't know what it is about talking to you, but I would like a piece of cake right now.

I don't know what it is. I honestly feel like Passover is over and now we're going to have a piece of cake.
Bring it up. Come on.
Let's nosh. I remember, you know, Saturday Night Live is grueling.
Yeah, you hosted. You were great on the show.
I was tremendous. I was so good, they said, don't come back.

You would shame the other hosts.

But, you know, I don't know if people realize the difficulty.

You guys are putting on a 90-minute play.

Yeah, that's a long show every week.

And it was crazy to see just the sets and the makeup and the costumes and the writing and just how much had to come together. Yeah.
Technically. And the crew never messes up.
They never accidentally put up the hooker set for the president sketch. They never mess up.
Is that the error that everyone's trying to avoid? Nobody ever enters the Oval Office in a hamburger outfit. Always get it right.
Hamburger outfit in Oval Office. Done! I'm submitting it! You know what's so funny? When I was doing Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon, we started, and then...
and you were doing this, and, um, all this press, you know, this show was, like, so popular and exploded, and there'd be all these press things that said, like, Jon Stewart, America's best fake news anchor. I'm sorry about that.
And I was like, I'm kind of the only other fake news anchor.

Because Jimmy's like a sketch comedian,

and Colbert wasn't doing his thing yet.

And I was like, dag, dag, America.

It's kind of a two-man horse race at that point.

But now you've got Colbert nipping out our heels.

And I'll tell you what, I've seen that kid.

He's the future of fake news.

That's what I'm thinking. When I was at you what, I've seen that kid.
He's the future of fake news. That's what I'm thinking.

When I was at Second City,

I was at Second City in Chicago back in the day.

And when I first got there, I was a student

and Colbert and Steve Carell were on the main stage

and we used to go watch them all the time.

And one of the two, I will not say which one,

was a notorious ladies man.

And I won't say which one. Can I guess? Okay, but I'm not going to...
But let me guess. Okay.
Neither. Was it...
One of the two was very popular with the ladies. Here's what I believe.
I believe both could be flirtatious. I believe Colbert could seal the deal.
I'm not going to say.

I can't say.

I believe at the end of the day,

Corral would say this.

I don't want to go to Bennington's.

You know, Colbert would be there with the acoustic guitar.

Right, exactly.

He'd be up there with the harpsichord.

We were getting where we couldn't pay the bill.

PG&E asked customers about their biggest concerns

so we could address them one by one.

That's terrifying.

That's fair.

Joe, regional vice president, PG&E.

We have to run the business in a way that keeps people safe, but starts driving costs down.

I would love to see that.

We're on our way.

I hope so.

PG&E electricity rates are now lower than they were last year.

Hear what other customers have to say and what PG&E is doing about it at pge.com slash open dash lines.

Introducing Instagram teen accounts, a new way to keep your teen safer as they grow. Like making sure they always have their seatbelt on.
Alright, buckle up. Good job.
New Instagram teen accounts. Automatic protections for who can contact your teen and the content they can see.
I feel so alone. I'm embarrassed to talk about it.
How can I help my kid if I can't help myself? I can't remember when I wasn't stressed. I don't want to go inside.
When you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts and emotions, it's okay to get help. You are not alone.
CalHOPE is here for you with free, safe, and confidential mental health resources for youth, young adults, families, and you. Find support now at calhope.org.
How you been? I got, I just, I came out here, I want to remember three things to tell you. Tell me.
I can't remember any of it. I can't remember any of it.
I got none. I got none.
How are you, pal? I'm doing very well'm doing very well. How is the corduroy seems thick? It seems thick for this...
I had corduroy pants on, too, and somebody said, don't wear corduroy on corduroy. So I switched it up.
This is a whole new thing. My wife has been going out and getting me new clothes because I look back at my old thing.
You know, I've been on television a long time, and I've been wearing the same clothes literally on every show. So she went out and got me this corduroy shirt, this other flannel one, and a T-shirt.
But see, I would, and again, this is nothing against the wife, but that is not, that's not a shirt. You're wearing, that is clearly some sort of coat-shirt hybrid.
That's not. This is in New York because I was going, she was being nice and I knew I was going to be cold.
Also, I don't try on things. I refuse to try like when i go to a store she goes hey you wanna and i just get just get it and then it's either too big or too tight but i have to wear it anyways because now it does seem like underneath the new uh it's an older shirt shirt jacket or shacket but that's why i had it buttoned to cover the oldness to show the wife respect that's the key to a happy marriage it's those types of of of compromises thank you at what point in that because i've been married we've been married probably the same amount of how long have you been married uh i've been with i've been with the same girl 14 and married about seven or eight right oh that's similar.
So I've been with my wife for about 15 years, married for 10. Uh-huh.
And I am just getting to the point where I don't have to change my outfits. This is a new thing.
She was cool about it in the beginning and then started realizing, you know, she dresses nice. And I have the two daughters who yell at me for not dressing nice right so that it became like a factor in the house when i would come downstairs in the morning and and all three of them would say please don't then i said all right go get me some new stuff you know you know what i get in the house and this is new as well daddy i don't like the way you smell you smell.
That's not you. Their nose is stronger at that age.
Yeah, no, no, no. My kid, if I...
She'll say brush your teeth a little better. Brush your teeth a little better, and maybe I'll kiss you.
That's nice, though. And also a concern for your health, because plaque, one of the bacteria, one of the leading causes of all kinds of distress they're finding these days.
Absolutely. So I very much appreciate that.
That's nice of her to do that. She loves her dad.
You say she, but only one loves the dad? The other, because you said there's three. The other one is young enough to get past the stench and get right in there and start kissing me.
Oh, that's nice. It's the five-year-old that just goes, this is really horrific, what I'm smelling right now.
All right. I appreciate, though, the use of the vocabulary.
Horrific. That was giant.
That was giant for the Sandman. Oh, is that true? Horrific was as good as it gets.
Horrific and Metamorphosis is a nice one.

That is a nice one.

That's all I got.

Are you going to stick around and watch the Jet game?

I know you're a big Jet fan.

Are you going to stay around and watch... I would like to see that.

My kids want me to get back to L.A.

They demanded I come home.

I said, it's one extra day if I could see the Jets-Pats game.

You can watch it on television, they said.

So I'm going to go home and... When was the last time you made a decision? That's a good one, Johnny.
I mean, you're wrapped in corduroy. You can't watch football.
You're like a shell of yourself. I mean, you're like a microwavable burrito in that thing.
Here's what happens. Like, kids fall asleep maybe 9, 8, 39, maybe a 10.
The wife falls asleep maybe 1. From 1 to 6, it's like, it's bananas what goes on.
You guys got to see. I put on my old clothes and lay there sandler time

yep that's when the boys come over to the house The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 central on Comedy Central.
And stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+. Paramount Podcasts.
that keeps people safe, but starts driving costs down. I would love to see that.
We're on our way.

I hope so.

PG&E electricity rates are now lower than they were last year.

Hear what other customers have to say and what PG&E is doing about it at pge.com slash open dash lines.

I feel so alone.

I'm embarrassed to talk about it.

How can I help my kid if I can't help myself?

I can't remember when I wasn't stressed. I don't want to be stressed by inside.
When you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts and emotions, it's okay to get help. You are not alone.
Cal Hope is here for you with free, safe, and confidential mental health resources for youth, young adults, families, and you. Find support now at calhope.org.
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