Hour 2: The Fuzz

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This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugatz podcast. All right, guys.

It's time for Against the Spread.

Come on, Jaslo.

Can we do it again?

Come on.

Jaslo wants to do it again.

Jaslo didn't know how to do it.

All right, guys.

It's time once again for Against the Spread.

And it's presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the count is yours.
Billy. I'm going to start on the hardwood.
Wow. Right across the street, we got a big one today.
The Golden State Warriors. Who are they playing? Minus five and a half against the Miami Heat at home.
Now, here's something not that many people are talking about. There's one person that's been mentioning it, but not many people are talking about.
The Warriors are coming on, coming in, 0 for 1 in their last one. Big losing streak.
The Heat, on the other hand, coming in 1-0. I told you, that's the headline I want tonight on TNT.
That's what's happening right now. One team, losing streak.
The other team, winning streak. Tensions are going to be high.
If there isn't kind of like an embrace at the beginning of the game, thank yous and that. The experts are saying that's probably not what we're going to expect.
We're going to be looking out to see if one Jimmy Butler, who's coming back, gives a look to Pat Riley at some point in the game. But you know what? I don't know that the Golden State Warriors, again, coming in on a losing streak, are going to be able to go up against the Miami Heat and the Heat culture and the pressure that comes with one of the greatest fan bases in the NBA.
So, the fact that the line is minus 5.5 for the road team, again, coming in on a losing streak, facing the red-hot Miami Heat 1-0 in their last one. I'm going to have to take the Miami Heat plus 5.5

tonight against the Warriors.

Against the spread!

Tony!

I hate to do this, but in that

very same game, very

juicy spread of minus 5.5 to a

team that's lost 11 out of their

last 12 games.

1-0, of course, but have lost 11

of their last 12 games. We don't know if Steph Curry's going to play, but we do know that Jimmy Butler's going to play.
A lot of points. And I'm going to bank on Jimmy Butler having a pretty good game tonight.
You can't do this this way. We're in a contract here with DraftKings.
I know, but I'm trying to give people value. We're not talking about the fact that Jimmy Butler completely, allegedly trashed the place that he used to rent.
What happens, the fuzz comes to talk to him before the game? They're going to know exactly where he is. The fuzz.
The FBI. They come up.
They talk to him. The police.
5-0. Popo.
They say, you know what, Jimmy, there's been a complaint. We need to do an investigation here.
You trash your former residents here. You guys hear about this? Zazel, you know about this? I do.
Yeah, what happens if there's an investigation and he ends up not being able to

suit up? Five and a half

is a lot. How much do you think the security

deposit is that they're threatening to keep?

I thought it was millions of dollars,

wasn't it? It's a couple hundred grand. The security deposit

is a couple hundred grand, like $250. I thought,

put it on the poll, please, Juju, at Levitard

show, over under of the person who calls

the police the fuzz.

100 years old. Put the number at

100 years old. You find a place with hundreds

of thousands of dollars, a million dollars security

We'll be right back. show over under of the person who calls the police the fuzz.
100 years old. Put the number at 100 years old.
You find a place with hundreds of thousand dollars, a million dollar security deposit, you find another place. There's plenty of places that you can live at that don't have a million dollar security deposit.
I go by Popo. Yeah.
Have you guys seen Jimmy when he does like architectural digest? Digest. Digest.
Well said. Wow.
5-0. I'm more of a 12 guy his his home in california is his second home and it's unbelievable like the places that this person lives there's a reason he wanted that extension so you can't digest or say digest yeah i'm gonna say golden state minus five and a half okay yes you must never apologize for making a digestion joke at my expense.
We didn't even have an orange. That has to be a safe space for all of us.
I am still alarmed as we head into this second hour, hour two of the show. It's actually the fourth hour of the show, but it's hour two of the show.
Yeah, we do a lot of show. Zaslow said something that I have not heard.
For all of the content made everywhere about this stupid Jimmy Butler game, I have not heard said plainly on television what Zaslow just said during a break. He just said, Jimmy's full of shit.
Yeah, he's a liar. Yeah, he's a liar.
Go on. Well, so Jimmy was asked with his media availability yesterday amongst a bunch of questions you know essentially when did you know that things were awry like it you know he was like we you know i knew at the end of last year so so back in may you knew that we were at the point of no return and he said knew back then.
Well, then why were we asking for an extension over the summer? And Jimmy was also asked if you signed the extension, if the Heat gave you the money, was this situation avoidable? And he said, flatly, no. So A, why did you ask for the extension when you knew things were done with? And B, he's just trying to make it sound like it's not about money when we know it's about money it's only about money

it's always about money

so I think he's full of shit in that regard

you could say full of shit but I would say

doesn't he end up being right

about it's 35 years

old and the last 16 games have proven

that franchise wasn't going to

give me an extension that got

me to 37 and I need to get my

money now because I'm tired of playing with these bums

like

Thank you. proven that franchise wasn't going to give me an extension that got me to 37 and I need to get my money now because I'm tired of playing with these bums.
Like, isn't that what happened? I'm like, isn't that some form of, I know they're my friends and everything, but I'm tired of playing with these bums who have turned out in 11 games since to, to appear like bums. But he's saying that even if they gave him the money, he was at the point of no return that he didn't want to play there anymore.
And I think that's nonsense. Okay, you can say that it's nonsense, and I would see how a proud athlete would be disrespected by, hey, do you know basketball's history on who does 40-point games, eight games in the postseason? Like, no, give me better dudes.
You see, we're at the point in the saga where now you guys sound like people that have been dumped and you keep wanting to rehash how the dumping happened and i'm the friend who keeps having to hear about it thank you over and over and over and over again and i'm like hey man i know it was a really hard breakup and i feel for you but we need to move on now all right but the girl that i broke up with is in front of a microphone being asked questions coming over to your house tonight by. And she looks great.
By other people. She looks great.
And you're so upset. I get it.
Talking about me. Oh, but she's going to look like shit in two years.
Am I right? She's going to look so bad in two years. You know, I have a breakup song prepared if you guys want it.
She probably looked busted in a couple years. A breakup song if you want it.
I'm about to be busted, yeah. We don't want the breakup song yet.
They were not wrong, by the way, and are not wrong in not wanting to give 37-year-old Jimmy Butler a ton of money. That is crazy reckless irresponsible.
What is wrong with the Heat having wanted him to play out the contract they gave him? I don't want to have this conversation again. When you say, though, that it would have been reckless to give it to him, perhaps, but one team was willing and it's why jimmy wins like it yes it's reckless and golden state gave him the money and he got the money and because he was telling everybody i'm 35 i know it's over you guys don't know what these bums are you don't know what i've been carrying for five years i know i keep saying bums again again and again, but he's been...
I don't know. I feel like there have been some real...
Well, sure, you're talking about the end of the roster this season, and we can go through those names, right? Moe Harkless and Dwayne Dedman and all these guys that were at the end of the rotation or out of the roster, but why are we still re-litigating it? Andam hicks and connor norby so you guys are right and the reason i want to i'm going to get to these songs in a second but before i do that i because you may be indeed tired as i'm sure you are of storylines instead of real basketball i've been telling you uh that juju gaudi is a special talent around here and uh last season, Juju took over our live YouTube after games in a show called Alley Oop. And it does basketball a little bit less storyline and a little bit better than the heat homerism you find around here.
From who? Yeah, I can't believe we brought in somebody. Jess, we brought in somebody who's more of a homer than the other homers.
Yeah, and the girl always looks so much worse in a couple years. But you're going to look really good because you're going to go to the gym.
You're going to get your life turned around. You're not going to keep falling into the same patterns that you've been falling into your entire life.
This is really when change starts. Look, that girl is going to look busted.
Woman. And you're going to look so good.
You're going to look so much better. Lady.
Yeah, he looks terrible now. Woman.
Not anyone, you know, hypothetically, of course. Woman.
What? That was the problem there. Let's introduce the audience to Alley Oop.

Look, we're in a Celtic jersey. It ain't even hanging.

It's right here.

Look, it's right here behind the juju.

You don't make me broke my wall. Look, coming down on the juju.
It's hot there. Broke your wall? Got me messing up.
Look, you knocking down the mic. How many damn jerseys do you have?

Every time I go to church, I'd be like,

sorry, I gotta wear the jaw tonight.

I gotta wear the Luca to the Mavericks,

mother****, to Sunday service.

Look at Josh, what?

He's what we call a whore fan.

Everybody can get some of Juju. got every jersey Bruh We gonna get to these damn Knicks Because every time I see Josh I see him saying Michael Jalen Brunson The Knicks is this to this Bruh the Knicks Dante DiVincenzo turn over his damn grave now.
Y'all got rid of that man for this. Y'all boy lost to the Spurs.
The tanking. Them boy tanking like Silk the Shocker.
Them boy tanking like Mia X, sir. Y'all boy lost to the Spurs.
We missing our engine right now. You really going to judge us over these games? We're missing our engine.
Versus the Spurs, yes. Versus the Blazers, yes.
In San Antonio, you're not really waking up to play the Spurs. We really are playoff aspirants.
We know we better than the playing. We know as long as we can evade Giannis in that first round and people like that, we are right.
People like that. You're trying to avoid people like that.
Let me newsflash. The Bulls is about the sixth, seventh best team in the league.
Y'all don't know if it's the every top team. You're going to have to play somebody.
I know the game. No, I don't.
Giannis and Dame is like that combination nobody's seen yet, and I don't want to be the team to find out that they them guys in the playoffs. I don't want to be that team again.
We found out about Halle Byrne. We got rumors that Damian Lillard is going to request a trade again.
They had to have an in-house meeting with Doc Rivers. It's okay.
You'll be fine. It's Doc Rivers at the helm.
He's not going to beat the Knicks. He's not working.
He's not ready for that. But you need to worry about the Detroit Pistons.
That's who you need to worry about.

Exactly. Pistons.

We already know what's up

with Cat. Remember Cat when he was playing

your Memphis Grizzlies, Juju?

It's not my Memphis Grizzlies.

I'm just fresh. That's

all it is, bruh.

I just got swagger. Swag plus flavor.

And he was

like, we in Minnesota now. We in Minnesota now.
And, like, that's the guy that is the piece that is adding to the New York Knicks on top of Mikkel Bridges. So you have one Isaiah Stewart elbow to the face.
Make him draw, make him bleed his own blood, and then we'll see what happens. that we're gonna cry to the locker room who else on the team uh pj tucker though he's on the list he's the enforcer he's the one who's gonna come in the 20 year old kicks with the 20 year old glue and he's the james johnson of of this team you you know what it is about the pj tucker pickup when he come in the middle of the year it's not the same thing as when you spent the you know a training camp with some young with some young kids and stuff like that he's he just came and when i look at him i feel like that like you just hear to collect the check you're not ready to slap nobody like i need i need somebody that's ready to slap somebody wait wait why why a Knicks segment? I'm not understanding what's happening.
Nah, I'm rolling out the red carpet for my dog. Nah, nah, don't roll out the red carpet for me.
This is what I'm talking about. And if he can't come back at you because you got five teams and you're trying to act like you're a Celtic fan, you're not a Celtic fan.
Come on, I'm a Celtics fan only. Look, with a Celtic jersey.
It ain't even hanging on with. It's right here.
I got it. Look, it's right here behind the juju.
You don't make me broke my wall. Look, coming down on the juju.
It's up there. Broke your wall.
Got me messing up. Look, you knocking down though, Mike.
But look, back to the niche, bro. Y'all got Tracy Morgan throwing up on the sideline, eating them weak-ass nachos in the Madison Square Garden, bro.
Get some real cuisine in there, bro. That's a legend.

Y'all got that boy throwing up, bro.

I don't like it, bro.

Precious Achua.

You can tell Juju's never been underneath of MSG.

You know, he'd never been into the Sky Mile set

of the Delta Lounge

because the food's ridiculousva the Ghetto speaking. Hello, still there? Only to get ghosted when you're just trying to reach out? Well, we've got a man who loves a long phone call.
Hello? Hello? Hello? Not only that, he hobnobs with celebrities. Not now, LeBron.
But he's always got time for you. Yes, Sersky.
Hello? What do you need, my friend? My friend? What do you need, my friend? Hot gossip. Do you want to talk life? Do you need some advice? You want to talk basketball? Relationship advice? Say it with your chest.
Or get it off of your chest. You can get all that.
All you need to do is call Juju now. Call Juju now at 650-585-8669, which spells Juju now.
650. Juju now.
If you're in New Hampshire, call Juju now. In Minneapolis, call Juju now.
On a plane, call Juju now. 650-Juju now.
That's the number. Call now.
Call with your questions. Call with your takes.
You want to phone a friend? Well, guess what? I can be that friend. Hello? Hello? What are you waiting for,

man? What are you waiting for, woman? What are you waiting for, family dog? Call right now. Who is the goofiest team in the NBA thus far?

I have a put, I got the Miami Heat slash the Sixers. Now, the Sixers, of course, we all know.
They spunt the whole bag on Paul George, Podcast P, you feel me, who just realized two weeks ago that, wait a second, this podcast thing is a little distracting. Maybe I should put that down.
Only the disco located fibula two weeks later that he out for the season. And then the Miami Heat, I'm not sure what they thought was going on.
They kind of put Jimmy Butler out there. They exposed all of his bad habits.
They didn't want to pay him. They said he wasn't flying to the game with the team.
He flying on his private jet. Only to make one of the goofiest trades in the goofball history of the goofy America.
Andrew Wiggins. You thought Andrew Wiggins was actually going to come back and make a difference? I don't know, bro.
What y'all think? Who's y'all choice for goofiest team in the league right now? I got Dallas. Dallas has got to be number one.
And it's not just the Luka trade. The Luka trade is obviously really, really bad, and that's like the top of the pyramid of dumbass things that they've done this year, or period.
So you trade for Luka and you say, we're looking for the long-term, but you trade for a guy who's literally his nickname is skin of paper, bones of glass, and he doesn't even make it a full game before he ends up getting injured. And now you're trying to tank and he wants to go back and play games and you're trying to shut him down okay so that's that part and then you end up trading for Quentin Grimes in the offseason for Tim Hardaway jr.
and you paid for second round picks for Quentin Grimes now Quentin Grimes gets traded at the trade, and you have to give a second round pick to trade him as well, and you get Caleb Martin back. Caleb Martin's not playing no damn games.
Why did they get the pick? It was such a bad trade that they actually got a second round back at the deadline because they're like, oh yeah, sorry, y'all. He's a lot more hurt than we thought.
And now Quentin Grimes is playing for Philadelphia, and he's putting up 40. And you can't even feel the full team.
And then because of the Quentin Grimes trade, you can't even sign any two-way players, not even a 10-day contract, so you might end up forfeiting games. That is insane.
That's some of the goofiest shit I have seen josh what you think bro goofiest team thus far i'm gonna agree with trister and i'm gonna tell you and i'm gonna tell you why you trade luca donchick last year's leading scorer last year's finals runner up before the finals how was they talking about luca like he was michael jordan you're gonna trade him for anthony davis when you could have traded him i would have gave him og i'd have gave him bridges i'd have gave him towns i'd have gave him leon rose i'd have given him patrick ewan i'd take them all this is what we talking about. Take them all.
Spike Lee.

This is what Kodansha we talking about.

Spike, take them all.

Stephen A.

Come on.

This just hit my mind right quick because I see something on TV.

Randomly.

Y'all seen the baton girl who was running and she hit the girl with the baton?

Yeah, yeah.

What y'all?

Did she do that on purpose definitely it was a cock back she was like oops oops i can understand how you like can swing your arm and you know while the baton is in your hand if the girl have been too close to you, did she hit her twice? She hit her twice. She hit her twice.
A two-piece. The double tap.
Double tap game for the two-piece. All right.
No coleslaw. Fry on fry.
He's trying. He's trying to give her a little grace.
Damn. And with that being said, we're going to wrap it up, bro.
Thank y'all for joining me. Trista, come on, bro.

Round of applause for my sister.

Josh, round of applause for my brother.

And that right there is the alley-oop, man.

Welcome back, man.

Salute to all the producers.

We see you, Miss Rebecca.

We see you, Dylan.

Catch us next week.

Same bat time, same bat channel.

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Hey, it's Roy, and at the ripe old age of 40, I'm gearing up to learn how to play hockey. I emphasize ripe old age of 40 because I'm not as young as I used to be.
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I ain't never met nobody in the world that's done hate on blues clues, bro. Great nomination.

Like, who don't like blues clues, bro?

If you don't like blues clues, you're a loser.

Stugatz.

Look, you get one paw print, that's the first clue.

You put it in a notebook, now what do you do?

Blues clues, blues clues.

Sit on the chair and think about it.

This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stu Gads. Jessica, you've tried your damnedest to pull us off of the storyline of the day.
I really do hate preview shows and regular season basketball. But our obsession with the nonsense makes it that we like the soap opera stuff.
And locally, whether it's Homerific, Zaslow saying, We are the center of the basketball universe tonight.

What was that voice?

What was that?

That's his voice.

My voice.

His regular voice.

He brought something from a little bit lower.

I thought it had a little...

It's a bit loiny.

What I felt there, what I heard come off him was...

Pride?

Do you remember how important we were 2010 to 2014 when I was sitting in a press room and that snake Sedano was betraying me? Because I thought it was all over. It was us against the world and then LeBron saved the blueprint.
And we're so desperate for those times around here that you get a sniff of it in the regular season. Hey, look, a game that matters.
A game that matters that now Jeremy's in a lab making songs, multiple songs. Look at the smile on his face.
Pain births creativity. Can we acknowledge how brown my hair is in that picture? I mean, look at that.
That's a young man right there. Brown, huh? You know what? I'll give you tonight.
The game's on TNT. I'm going to watch it as a hater, and I encourage all of our fans who are so sick and fed up with all of this rooting for Jessica you want him to score 50 or three pointer three pointer three point two three two three 50 points this is the last day we can do this no shots this is the end as a hater I'm gonna tune in just to hate on all of you wonderful this is so the best result is what because that's for you, what is the best result for Zazz, for Jeremy, for Billy? What is the best result for Tony? I want to know.
I want to know because I'm not going to be allowed to care like this again this regular season. We will talk about Oklahoma City and Houston and Denver, but it won't be the same.
It's over. You want to hear my honest opinion? No, but it's all over.
But what we're getting tonight so those of you, what we're getting tonight is your social media gives you five years of memories tonight. Here's the scrapbook tonight.
Hey, you want to close on the relationship? Here's what you were doing the last five years. I don't know what the Heat are going to sneak in there subliminally.
Good job. Digestible.
God damn it. I think Heat fans want some sort of skirmish so they can feel better about themselves.
Look, this guy was so volatile. We're taking the high road.
We're the better people. Malice at the Palace type situation.
If Jimmy Butler and Duncan Robinson go at it in a little kerfuffle, I think that would be pretty awesome. Best case, best case scenario is Jimmy Butler missed a shot at the end of the game.
He'd win. Just like he did in Game 7 against the Celtics? Well, listen, I don't want to revisit that.
That's not a good memory for me. Hey, you want to win a title? Go win it with the best team you had.
Make the shot. I feel like the lamest thing tonight would be a kerfuffle with Dustin Robinson.

Dustin Robinson.

It's okay, Dan. No, no, no.

That's a Marlin.

Dan, that's a Marlin.

Dustin Robinson's a Marlin.

That's a shortstop.

Yeah, you're right.

Jonah Bride.

Oh, Jonah Bride.

Third liner on the Panthers, of course.

It's the cleanup hitter for the Marlins.

What?

Jeremy, you don't get the game.

Oh, wow.

Jazz just walked out on the diamond. Big day.
You're watching spring training baseball? I'm watching. No, no.
This is batting practice for spring training baseball. He literally just walked out on the field to an empty stadium.
It's not open yet. Which is the song, Jeremy? Do you want to sing about LeBron or do you want to sing about Jimmy first

you know the LeBron stuff needs some setup so let's just talk about the the Jimmy Butler breakup

for a second

Jimmy Butler's giving up on you He'll start to pass when he's supposed to shoot Every team knows what he's gonna do When Jimmy Butler's giving up on you And he will do nothing but ball And lead you for five years Playoff runs in all This song's beautiful But money can make it all fall apart at the seams.

Business of basketball.

Jimmy Butler's giving up on you He'll start to pass when he's supposed to shoot And every team knows what he's gonna do When Jimmy Butler's giving up on you That's a breakup song. That's sad.
I don't know. What is that? That's not what tonight is.
Well, do you want to celebrate LeBron James? Because Dan, I don't know if you've seen, but on TikTok right now, there's a trend where people are just making songs celebrating LeBron James, LePookie James, as a lot of TikTok loves to call him. Jess, have you seen this trend? I have seen it, and I don't know where it started.
Me either. But it's just a bunch of LeBron videos.
Yeah, so I've just had people reaching out to me because this is all I do with this show anymore. My boys are all over this.
Yeah, these LeBron songs, right? All over it. So decided that, of course, since it's my job, I had to make one of my own.
Wait, what do you think about it, Zaslo? I don't like it. Yeah.
And I didn't know where it's coming from, where they're singing these LeBron songs. What else is going on here, we know he'll put on the show shooting and dunking LaFoukie is winning Say it ain't so He cannot go Never retire We love him so much LeBron, LeBron, LeBron, LeBron, LeBron, LeBron, LeBron You made that song? I did.
I don't like it. Thanks.

Is it just the subject of the song?

Yeah, pretty much.

And the lyrics, I just, I don't like it.

Do you like Blink-182?

No, and I don't like that song either.

It's one of those overdone things.

They played at hockey games and the crowd all sings.

Yeah.

It's lame.

That feels forced to me.

A lot of those.

A lot of those, like, this is going to be our song.

Everybody needs to learn how to sing.

Don't back down.

Where did that come from? Hockey games and the crowd all sings? Yeah. It's lame.
That feels forced to me. A lot of those.
A lot of those, like, this is going to be our song.

Everybody needs to learn how to sing.

Don't back down.

Where did that come from all of a sudden?

University of Florida loves it.

Please.

I don't know.

I didn't like that song.

Thanks.

Keep it real.

Whatever.

Not every song is a banger.

No, I know.

You don't have to be offended.

You're right.

Yeah, no, I'm not.

Thank you, though.

What did you think of the first song?

A little long, the first one.

I thought the first song was beautiful.

I mean, Ryan Cortez is crying somewhere in his room. That's every day.
It's been worse the last 12 games. I mean, do you know how staggering it is? I'm sorry, I'm struggling so much.
Do you know how staggering it is for me to go from what I've been saying about the heat 15 years to going to calling Bam and hero bums. The all-stars bums because of over 16 games.
That's the thing that's super weird about it. It's a crazy switch so quickly.
I don't understand why Bam is now terrible. He's not.
He's had some bad games. He's actually pretty good in that stretch.
He's been really good. Pretty good.
He was averaging like 25 and 12. But again, to your point, he's not good.
What? No, it's the thing that's happened with winning has just made it so clear that there's something between. You guys tell me if I'm wrong because you guys do check on uh you know the advanced stats and the differences in the lineups but when Tyler Hero's getting the usage rate he's the all-star and when Bam's getting everything that he can he's the all-star but they can't be all-stars at the same time if they don't have another all-star who's better than they are.
That's why having Andrew Wiggins score 42 points the other night was certainly helpful. They need a third option, right? But it sounds like they need a first option.
They need a first option or they need a third who's akin to each of them, right? They need a first option. That's what Wiggins is.
And they'll try to acquire a first option this offseason. They're not going to be a championship team if they don't have a number one who's at least as good as Jimmy Butler, right? Offensively.
And preferably, they'd have someone who works off of Bam and Tyler's skill sets better than Jimmy Butler did even offensively. You know what they should do? I'll tell you what they should do.
They should win the draft lottery. Thank you.
Good idea. Just get that done.
Just do that. Cooper Flag's not coming out this year because he wants to go back to college.
Not if the Heat get that number one-oh-all pick. That ping pong ball.
You know about that culture? The biggest heat of homers there are. Billy, again with the culture.
Like, what do we need to do around here to eradicate that? Like, just to shock. He said culture.
I didn't say culture. No, no.
He said culture. No, I know.
But you, yesterday. heat tonight, plus five and a half.
I believe in this team. How do you love that? I love that.
You know what else Zazz loves? The strangest of the cheeses on his sub. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
No, no, don't tell them. Don't tell them.
Don't tell them. Guesses.
Strange cheese? Wait, what kind of sub? Well, what would you guys say? What's the best of the cheeses on the subs? What is the... What do you mean any? Depends on the flavor.
Turkey, a little provolone, meatball. I have a favorite cheese, and if I'm having a sub, why would I not want to have my favorite cheese on whatever sub I'm getting? So yes, one.
What are the best of the cheeses? Don't make guesses on what it is that his cheese is. Just give me what you would say are the Hall of Fame cheeses.
Fresh mozzarella when you got a nice Italian sub. There's no bad cheeses.
Fobalone is a good sandwich. Also a good bit incorrect.
Are we doing this specifically for sandwiches or just in general? Like if I want a piece of cheese? Everything. Here's the thing.

I love a good Colby Jack, but that's cheating because it's two cheeses together.

Colby Jack is a trash cheese.

What?

You're a trash cheese.

He plays for the Marlins.

Utility infielder.

Roy, you just whispered it.

I don't think anybody heard you.

Munster.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I love Munster cheese.
That was it? Best that was it Best cheese yeah I like Munster too That's such a normal take okay thank you Thank you very much I get my chicken tender sub I get Munster cheese Put some Munster on that baby Dan's trying to shame me here like it's weird I don't believe anybody I don't you none of you guessed Munster as the best of the cheeses. Well, because we thought we were doing crazy cheeses.
Every time I go to Publix, I get some sweet hand, and I get some Munster cheese. Wait, are you guys back on pump subs? Because they use boar's head, and I'm not going to lie, I'm still a little freaked out by the whole boar's head.
I get generic. Publix brand.
It was like an entire factory. That was somewhere else.
Which is the cheese that they light on fire? Saganaki? There's giant wheels of cheese, and they go with a blowtorch and light it on fire. Do you eat raclette? I don't know what I mean.
And they scrape it onto your meal, right? That's raclette. Yeah, I like that.
It's like a French cheese. I like it better if it were Munster.
Oh, imagine a wheel of Munster cheese as that you light on fire. Totally normal cheese, Dan.
Thank you Thank you Incredibly normal I wasn't saying it's normal You eat aged cheese, don't you, Dan? Well, you know me I have to stay away from the dairies I love blue cheese I would, in a previous incarnation I would But now it's all alternate milks Alternative milks Blue is disgusting. You know what else is disgusting? Feta.
Feta is amazing. Feta cheese is gross.
Hold on. So John Amici, when I went over to Greece, told me you have to go over to this little place called Eva's Garden, and they have an incredible restaurant over there in Mykonos.
And when you go over there, ask for the fried cheese with the honey on top. So it's feta cheese that they fry, and then they put honey on top.
Shout out to John Amici. We went twice when we were there.
Zaz, would you say you're fed up with it? Well, I don't ever have it, so no. Just wait a second.
So there's a pistachio milk brand that I see everywhere now, and it's called Tashay. It's crazy.
Wow.

That's Jeremy's last name, by the way.

T-A-C-H-E.

They just have the accent over the A instead of the E.

I've seen this for years.

I accidentally one time, because I wanted, I was like, oh, cool, it has my name on it.

I'll order.

And I accidentally, instead of ordering like one carton, I ordered a case.

And so I just had 12 giant cartons of pistachio milk in my fridge.

It's pretty good, though.

It is good.

And it has my name on it. So, hey, Tash Pistachio Milk, if you're looking for a brand partnership, right here.
I could be like Lucy. All right.
So hold on a second. Billy, Tony, please have at it there.
Like, what is he doing? He saw the portal tour. He looked directly at the camera, too.
It is super rare for someone to so overtly say, yes, please, I'd like to talk about myself ad nauseum. It's rare.
It's pistachio milk, too. Come on.
Get a great. Eddie Monster.
It's pretty good. I heard there was some hubbub yesterday out in the office in some of the common areas about how these alternative milks that you like are bad for the environment, Dan.
Is that so? It's not that I like the alternative milks. It's that they're easier on my body than dairy.
But yes, I've been told that they're not climate friendly. No, I don't think that's true for every single thing.
I think it's almonds use a lot of water, but I think like oat milk apparently is very easy to make, but I don't know. Don't quote me on this.
I'm not a food scientist, but also our farming practices are not great for the environment either. But we're in this conundrum now with Dan where it's like, do you care more about your body or do you care more about the environment? That's why, Tony, I love that out of the side of Tony's mouth in the eating area yesterday, I heard, how about you just get it from a cow? What happened to cow's big, Zaz? I'm with you, man.
Everybody was fine. All of a sudden, no, I got this thing.

I'm with you.

All of a sudden, I'm going to drink nut milk.

Everybody's got allergies, gluten bullshit.

Come on.

Whoa.

Yeah, whatever.

The gluten's not bullshit.

It's kind of bullshit.

I've said this on the show before.

I think people for their whole lives just feel bad after they eat, and they don't really think about it. Or they just have disgusting

gastrointestinal problems

and they're just fine with it. And that's okay.

If you're lactose intolerant and you still want to have ice cream,

that's your choice. A lot of people

will just get milk.

Zaz, you eat a slice of pie.

Well, careful because it's Florida.

You got cheese. You got gluten.

How do you feel after a slice of pizza?

I feel fantastic. Incredible, right? Yeah.
I'm not here asking, you know, is it gluten-free? How do you feel an hour and a half later? Me personally, I feel great. Really? A lot of people do.
Like, not everyone has the same tummy. Dan's tummy, if he had one Cheeto, he would explode.
I've heard it's also just like here. Yeah, one Cheeto.
He exploded one time. I had a black bean the other day.
No way. One black bean? One black bean.
One snuck into something. It doesn't seem worth it.
It has a black bean. I'm not even kidding you.
I had a black bean, and it was not good. I've heard if you have pasta here versus if you have pasta in Italy, your body reacts completely differently.
The pasta and bread in Italy is just another level. That was a real gourmet Italian connoisseur that made an appearance there.
He's right. That was in Mykonos.
That was in Greece. I just are totally united on this.
Thank you. Now you want to talk about Mulkey again? United we stand.
On business. How did it become about Mulkey again?? Her name got brought up all of a sudden.
Best Dap we ever seen. Put the video back up.
Isn't Malky the name of it? How have you not seen this? It's a good Dap. The oat milk brand that's dangerous? Yeah.
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