The Big Suey: Give Me That Plain Stick (feat. Lucy Rohden)

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Welcome to the Big Suey presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it.
And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. This episode of the Dan Lebitard Show with Stugatz is presented by DraftKings.
DraftKings, the crown is yours. I see that Lucy Rodine is now radiant and just filled with superstardom.
I am told by others that the sponsorship dollars are coming her way because people want to be associated with the Rodine brand. Why are you smiling, Zaslow? That makes sense.
I see she's a very busy young lady. I've never talked to her before.
Okay, well, welcome to Zaslow. You're meeting Lucy for the first time.
Do you guys want to tell each other anything weird about each other? Zaslow is super weird. Zaslow is a strange, strange person.
That's in your opinion. Who doesn't own a coat.
Well, because I live in Cooper City. Like, I haven't needed a coat.
Because I live in Cooper City.

I haven't needed a coat.

And then ESPN springs on me,

hey, you're going to travel

the entire country during college football season.

I'm like, okay. And then I

learned, not everywhere

is the same weather as Cooper City.

Did you get the Disney passes?

Of course. Oh, I missed that.

We have to talk later. Billy misses them so much.
So much. Lucy, welcome.
We will talk March Madness with you in a moment. But before we do that, I saw that you were loving all of the Ben Affleck.
You've fallen in love with Ben Affleck, it appears to me, based on your social media postings. I'm not in love with Ben Affleck himself.
I'm in love with watching Ben Affleck's dating life. He wakes up and he goes, hmm, what Jennifer is it going to be today? I don't think he's ever met a woman in his life not named Jennifer.
He just can't decide between the two. A few weeks ago, he said, hey, Jennifer Gardner, it's you again.
I'll make it work if you want to make it work. And then she came out.
She said, I don't want to make it work. That's not true.
Right after two weeks ago, or a few weeks ago, he was like a finally officially divorced from Jennifer Lopez. And then like a day after that, they were like, just kidding.
They're trying to make it work. He's back with JLo.
And then a few weeks prior, he was like, I'm done with JLo. I'm over JLo.
That's done. And then a few days before he's like, I don't know, something good could happen with J-Lo.
And then a few weeks prior, he was like, I'm done with J-Lo. I'm over J-Lo.
That's done. And then a few days before, he's like, I don't know.
Something good could happen with J-Lo. He just can't.
He can't choose a Jennifer. And I know that he's going to spend the rest of his life jumping from Jennifer to Jennifer to Jennifer.
And I can't wait to watch. Jeremy, why are you smiling? I was just thinking of how incredible Ben Affleck is in terms of his weird dating life and what Lucy said.
The fact that he's just oscillating between these Jennifers for, what, like 30 years? Why is it weird? It's one Jennifer or another. I'm trying, Jennifer.
They're good Jennifers. They're good Jennifers.
They are good Jennifers. Well, not J-Lo.
Whoa. I'm not a J-Lo guy.
We've done this before. We've done this before.
I'm not a J-Lo guy, alright? I don't have to be a J-Lo guy. Here's Ben at the moment.
Hey, let's just say something. Two minutes right here in the shipping container for trying to leave.
What? Okay. I was going to ignore that.
It just said leaving on the thing, and I thought it would be like him leaving is what I thought it was going to say. What were you going to say, Lucy? One thing we can agree about both Jennifers is they're hot.
Do you know what else is hot? Jimmy John's sandwich. This Lucy segment is brought to you by Jimmy John's.
They're finally here, and they're hot. Try new toasted sandwiches at Jimmy John's.
Order one today. We got to do better than that.
Billy, you saw what happened. I thought that was pretty good.
Billy, you saw what happened. You made Billy burst out laughing.
How about you give us some good information and then attach a sponsor to it? Like, give us something on the Duke-Baylor game. Give us some good information and then have it sponsored.
Well, I thought the Jennifer information was really good and that actually kind of hurt my feelings a little bit because that's something I'm very passionate about. I'm sorry, forgive me.
Don't worry about that, Dan. I'm at the good sports information.
I'm sorry. I should have.
You know, I'm going to say jumping from Jennifer to Jennifer is almost a sport. I would agree that that might be true.
Duke-Baylor, this is one of the games we went to. It was one of those things where I left being like, thank God I picked Duke to win my bracket, because it is insane how good they are.
Even with Cooper Flagg in foul trouble early in that game, it is just like there was one point where Duke had this insane lob dunk and Jeremy Roach, former Duke player, I saw him close up, just look at Baylor go, there's really nothing we can do about this. Like it was, Baylor had given up because Duke was such a dominant team.
And this was following right on the heels of Florida UConn, where Florida was supposed to kind of cruise. That's also been the very popular pick to be the national champion.
It is just remarkable how good Duke basketball is right now. And they kind of feel like the clear favorite for me to win the national championship through this March Madness so far.
Did you show up for the game before also? Yeah, the Florida UConn one? Yes. I would love to live life never having to watch Florida try to shoot free throws again.
Like, I think that would be really good for me emotionally and spiritually. It was one of those games where, like, it just, the first half was like, oh, my God, this is what you guys must feel like when I talk about Iowa football.
Nothing is happening. This is like, why are we doing this? There's so much defense and there's nothing fun happening.
It gave me some pause with Florida. The free-through line issues are something that it's going to haunt them if they continue to play the way they did.
I don't necessarily agree with Dan Hurley's take that they were screwed. Yeah, Dan Hurley thinks they were cheating.
Dan Hurley's always thinking stuff. He's a professional yapper.
But don't worry. Now that Dan Hurley and UConn have been eliminated from the NCAA tournament, he can go on vacation.
So this joke in this off-roading segment was presented by Priceline. Dreaming about that trip, book it, and go to your happy price with Priceline.
We got to get better at these.

She's killing it. It's so smooth.
What are you talking about?

I like it. Just every few seconds, throw in the sponsor.

You're doing a fine job, Lucy.

No, that was so seamless

and beautiful and I tied it into

the basketball. You said, no, Lucy, no more Jennifer

talk. You got to talk about basketball.

And I did.

What is the best fan base you've encountered

in your travels? I was actually very surprised by this one. We were in Lexington for day one,

and then Raleigh for day four. So Lexington day one, not a ton of great games there.
It was just,

it's been a little bit of a bummy March Madness the first two rounds in the sense of like

competitive matchups and upsets. But despite that, the wofford terrier fan base is electric they were they were the wildest fans i've ever heard in my life the things they were screaming at officials i cannot repeat on this show it would not be safe for me to say they were so much fun that i think we have to do off-roading at Wofford in the future because it was the, like, I was in shock.
And they were playing Tennessee. Tennessee, who, like, notoriously has great, very passionate, very into it fans.
Wofford, a different level. A different level.
And they have the guy that does underhand free throws, too. Yes.
You're saying that the Wofford fan base is the most electric fan base you've ever encountered in all of your travels. In the sense that like, obviously they're a much smaller fan base.
I will say maybe aggressive is the right term. Louisville fans also quite aggressive.
They were an angry bunch. Respected that though.
They were like, Wofford I won't say is the most amazing fan base, just because we do get to go to a lot of cool games, which thank you for that. Hey, and if you want to go to a lot of cool games, you can download the GameTime app.
What time is it? GameTime. Download the GameTime app and redeem code Lucy, not Dan, for $20 off your first purchase.
She's so good at this. She's really good at it.
It's amazing. Well, this is why

she's a rising star

in the business

that all the sponsors

want to be around her.

Billy, you were very excited by...

No, it's just

the transitions

have been seamless.

I don't know

if you've even noticed this.

Fans on YouTube

can notice it.

While she's doing new spots,

the logo in the corner changes.

She talks about game time.

There's a game time logo.

There's a Priceline logo. There's a Jimmy John's Johnson.
It's incredible. Early rounds in the women's tournament.
I found the men's stuff to be disappointing, and I wanted more. And usually the chalk in the women's tournament advances easily early on, and that's not a lot of fun to watch.
I don't necessarily know if it's not a lot of fun to watch. I think that watching what UConn did to Arkansas State is fun in a sick, sadistic, twisted way.
Yeah, that tends to be sort of the case with the women's tournament. I don't know if it's just the talent gap between the best teams in women's college basketball or the fact that it's at-home venues.
But I thought it was a pretty decent start. You did get one pretty notable upset in Kansas State beating Kentucky.
That ends Georgia A. Moore's college career.
And she was electric this year at Kentucky and was just must-see TV when she was at Virginia Tech. And so I thought that was a pretty big upset.
That game went into overtime. It ended up being a pretty good one.
Kansas State, they are always a sneaky team. But I view it less of the sense where, like, the men's tournament, we're very used to the 15 beating the two every year or something nutty or crazy happening.
So you kind of have to take a different approach of, like, you're watching the women's tournament to watch the best at what they do. Or, like, you're watching the men's tournament for like slop and it upsets and

craziness. And so I thought the good, I thought the first round, which is still going on today,

there's still some more games happening, has been pretty good for the women so far.

Good seeing you. Keep cashing those checks.
The sponsors love you. Take care.

You're welcome for making you all this money.

Both of us. It's not, I don't get it all uh can i ask you guys because uh zazla was mentioning and we were talking earlier about his 16 year old son uh do you realize there's a whole segment of people as he was mentioning that don't know anything about charles barkley's basketball career and don't remember anything about George Foreman as a boxer.
Zaz's son is being introduced for the first time to David Sampson. So my son's at an age at 16 where his friends are all on social media and and his friends say, hey, look at this clip.

It's your dad on the Levitard show, you know, the other day.

And, okay, you know, my son's not that impressed with it,

but he then sees, he looks at the comments, you know,

and my son said, he goes, I got to tell you, the comments.

People really liked you.

And I go, it'll even out.

All right, don't worry about that.

And then he says, I'll tell you who they don't like. And I'm like, oh, okay.
He goes, that Samson guy. And so I laughed.
He doesn't know who he is, though. I said, do you know who David Samson is? He's like, he thinks he's just a personality on your show.
And I guess that makes sense. If you're 16 and David Samson hasn't been the president of the Marlins in, what, seven years?

Like, it makes sense. Like, yeah, he was the president of the Marlins.
He swindled the city and got the stadium. Like, you know, everybody hates him.
They're cheap. Whatever.
But he— Those were the cliff notes. Yeah.
Those were the— I mean— That's it. That's what you lead with, right? $2 billion FU.
Yeah. So he has been introduced to David.
You know what they don't like? That Samson guy. What would you do if you are Cooper Flagg with your future?

Does anyone out here want to play at the bottom rung of the NBA ladder?

And I asked this question watching that Charlotte team

that has never played a meaningful basketball game,

and I've watched Anthony Mason and Jamal Mashburn.

That franchise does not know what it is to play a meaningful basketball game. Never even been to a conference finals.
Well, but I mean, Michael Jordan, one of the great disasters in ownership, except for he makes money on his way out. But nothing good happened there the entire time he was there.
They looked like they were onto something, and then Dwyane Wade murdered the guy in the purple shirt. Yeah, purple shirt guy ended everything for them.
They were trending up for the first time in franchise history. Something was happening there, and then Dwayne Wade said, sit your ass down! Nothing since.
That is kind of the history of it, but Charlotte hasn't played a meaningful game since. It's a headband.
That was crazy. And you're going to go play as Cooper Flagg for a team worse than Charlotte? So I've talked about this a bit recently on ESPN Radio with Cooper Flagg, where we're in an age where, okay, he could make as much staying another year at Duke as he would his first-year salary, almost as much maybe in the NBA, even if he's the number one overall pick.
You enter the draft, you see the Wizards or the Hornets. These are godforsaken franchises, okay? I don't want to go play there.
You pull out of the draft, you're going to go back to school at Duke, because being the big man on campus, pretty awesome, really fun life, and you're going to make a lot of money. But the pushback that I've gotten, and it is interesting, the pushback that I've gotten is if you stay another year in school, you're delaying yourself another year of getting that first contract after your rookie deal.
And that first contract, by the time he gets there five years from now, it's like a 200 plus million dollar deal. The thing about money to me and these conversations that are most interesting is I wonder if I go back to retired athlete and say, hey, at 50 or 60, what would you pay to have another year of college before it became like the big giant business of pressure? Because one of the things that happens when you arrive at these kinds of successes and become an economy for things is that you get to the pros and now it's just a lot of responsibilities.
You thought it was going to be fun, but you're running a business and you might like the playing. You're not going to like actually very much the practices and the shoot-arounds and all the meticulous sculpting in basketball.
But if I gave anybody in our audience, how much would you pay to go back and have a year of college as Cooper Flagg, not as yourself, not as yourself, as Cooper Flagg, What would you pay to have another year of that before you did, before you go become Kyle Kuzma and just start wandering around alleys in Washington because, you know, 9,000 people are watching your games? How about the kids that got drafted out of high school? Would you ask them, would you rather have gone to college instead of going straight to the pros? I mean, the reality is these endorsements are carrying over either way either way, right? So like you're going to make 12 or 13 million dollars as the number one overall pick in your base salary that you make zero dollars in your base salary in college and all the endorsements that you're getting, the quote unquote NIL deals. This is the same conversation we were having about Caitlin Clark last year about, oh, if she stayed at Iowa, she'd get all this NIL money.
But you're still going to get all of the sponsorships that come with NIL money if you're in the NBA. And wherever Cooper Flagg goes, if he stays for another year, what makes you guys think that the Wizards and the Hornets aren't going to be the two worst teams in the NBA next year? Drafts are still much bad teams next year.
Right, but it's a lottery. It's not the NFL draft where the worst team, and they're going to be terrible again, and the worst team gets that pick.
So give up $12.6 million. That's what the number one overall pick got this year in base salary.
Give up $12.6 million so that maybe next year the ping pong balls go the right direction for you. Oh, no, but no, and you get another year of college.
It's why I'm asking you about the price. I'm asking you.
Why is college a fun thing for Cooper Flagg? Hanging out at Duke? Do you want to go to Louisville and Blacksburg and Charlottesville and all these other ACC places every week? Or do you want to play in the NBA? I think he's probably having a fun time because he's in college but I think it would be more fun to be a professional basketball player. It's also really cool being an NBA player.
He's definitely having a fun time in college, but it's not just about which is more fun, being the big man on campus at Duke or being a professional player in the number one overall pick. It's about what is going to play for Washington or Charlotte going to do to my career? So let me ask you guys a different portion of this because I guess everyone's in agreement.
Wow, the NBA seems like it's fun. I'll get new friends.
But I want to just explore for a moment the idea that whenever I talk to these professionals who have made all the money, they talk about where their regrets are and how it changed from college to the pros in terms of money and responsibility. It may be different now because college was no money and so a lot of them were broke together and we can romanticize the Christmases that were terrible once you get to the good Christmases.
But when I tell you that this group of people that I've talked to over the years always say that before it became a business, it was a different kind of treasure. And it's something I was doing with my friends where then I went to go work with my coworkers.
What would you give for a year? Because it's not just big men on campus. It's big men on campus with your friends.
And you can say, make new friends. But I'm telling you you now you're wearing a lot of responsibility in the pros and you're not going to get away with the stuff that you were doing in college as the big man on campus.
What's that worth to you? The dream. Because if everyone says they want to be a rock star, an athlete so that they can, you know, get fame and, and, and sex and money, he can have all of that at Duke.
Yeah, but he's an 18-year-old. It's not like he's finishing up his fourth year and he's choosing to leave a year early.
He was a mercenary and he went to Duke and he's going to turn it down to go to frat parties? His dream is to go to the NBA, not hang out with the Duke boys. It's also like two of his teammates are going to be top, what, five to ten picks anyway.
Also, they're going to leave. So all the friends that he's hanging out with, that's going to change.
And I would imagine he gets away with more at the NBA level. Like you're talking about all these things, oh, you could do and be the big man on campus at Duke.
I would imagine the structure of being on a college basketball team is probably even more limiting than it would be playing in the NBA. Also, the hubris of somebody who's going to be the number one pick and has been the best player and has been told they're the best player for the last five years of their life, that idea is like, oh, I'm going to go to Charlotte and I'm going to be the reason why they're good.
I'm going to go to Washington and I'm going to be the reason why we're going to turn it around. That is true.
These guys have that ego where they believe they're going to be the reason for the winning. But, man like we were probably saying the same type of stuff.
And I know injury plays a role, but Zion Williamson was supposed to be that guy. You're going to draft him number one overall and he's going to turn your franchise around.
And it's like, he's with an organization that, you know, has never really done anything. And now he's toiling away there and they're still kind of a garbage franchise.
But he made a lot more money because he left after being a rookie than getting hurt at duke like cooper flag just got lucky that that ankle injury wasn't a lot worse if he gets through this march madness unscathed this man has to go to the nba draft because if you risk another potentially big injury like zion would have had in college then you never get that contract that's what i was gonna say i mean zion escaped it. That shoe thing could have been a disaster for Zion.
Why would you risk getting injured in college for $4 million in NIL money when you can get a $12 million guaranteed base salary next year? Yeah, but we're talking about that as if the career-ending injuries are a common thing. That doesn't really happen.
It's one less contract, right? Jimmy Butler is a perfect example here at the end of his career. Right, But at the end of Jimmy Butler's career here, right, he's getting one last contract at a certain age.
If he were one or two years older, maybe he doesn't get that deal he just got with the Warriors because of an extra year of wear and tear. So by entering the league later, you're shorting yourself of one last contract.
And right now, the contract that they're giving out to a max player at 35, 36 year old is two years, $120 million. Imagine what that's going to be when Cooper Flagg is there 15 years from now.
You might be missing out on that last payday because you didn't go for one more year of college where you can make $5 million. It makes no sense.
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Hey, audience. You know, it's that time of year where everyone is debating who the number one pick is going to be.
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Isn't that right, Dano? Smirnoff rules! Smirnoff rules! So while you're over there hosting your draft parties, you know one thing in particular you need. Well, there's two things that you absolutely need.
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I don't like Dano. And thanks to Smirnoff, God Bless Football is doing their first ever watch-along live stream in front of a live audience in Nashville, Tennessee.
Join God Bless Football during round one of the draft on the Levitard Show YouTube channel on April 24th. More details to come.
Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff, number 21 vodka, distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume.
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Woo-hoo! Weather is starting to warm up. Regular season starting to wind down.
Games of consequence in sports starting to ramp up. I know what you're going to need by your side.
It's by my side already. Miller Lite.
Yeah, that's right. I'm making my springtime a Miller time.
I'm making my sports time Miller time. Going to a car race Miller time.
Going to see some tennis Miller time. Going to chill in the backyard with some friends and make some memories Miller time.
I love Miller Lite because it's got taste that I know I can depend on. No games, no gimmicks.
It's that simple, folks. It's just a great beer for people who like beer.
Miller Lite is brewed for taste. It hits different than the other Lite beers.
It's got simple ingredients, and at just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces, Miller time is always a good time. The original Lite beer since 1975 and still the very best one.
Miller Lite. Great taste.
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Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you,

or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

Tastes like Miller time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

96 calories.

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Don Lebertard.

He seems like a not nice guy, and he's always been a not nice guy.

I don't care for him.

And I think that has the day he deserves. Oh.
Stugatz. I hope he has the day he deserves.
That's how I get people when they're really mean to me. I'm not like, go F yourself.
I'm like, I hope you have the day you deserve.

It's a great kind insult. Yes.
It's beautiful. It's leaving it to the cosmos to sort it out.
That's a less Southern bless your heart. This is the Don Levatore Show with the Stu Gatz.
It doesn't make, when we're talking about dollars and cents, this one is so interesting to me because if I ask hypothetical person X, hey, you're going to have made $100 million in your life. Would you like to go back and have another year of something that felt more like childhood for seven million dollars for six million dollars for would you like another year before the responsibilities i'd just be curious what the answers are i know what all your perspectives are you're asking all people who are retired who already made all of that money who are longing for a day that they thought was the good old days of when they were in it probably weren't so happy.
Also like it's not playing like big time college hoops at Duke it's not something akin to childhood it is like a job you're getting paid significantly less than if you have that actual job in the NBA with a collectively bargained base salary so it's not like I mean it's a lot of work like it's you're going back to college to do a lot of work. And for someone who's been the best basketball player in his town and now at his college, he probably wants to play against the best basketball players in the world, which play in the NBA.
It's why he was part of all the USA basketball camps this summer and was playing with Steph Curry and LeBron and practicing with them before the Olympics. Duke was a business trip for Cooper Flagg.
It wasn't like fun college time. I mean, that's awfully absolute.
It's a stop on his journey. His goal wasn't to go to Duke and attend there for four years.
I get it, but you're doing it absolutely. I don't even disagree with you, but you're making the NBA huge fun at every turn.
I'm going to all these cities. I don't think Duke is fun, if I'm going to be honest with you.
Probably not. Give me a list of places to go.
Duke's not on it. Well, I mean, that's not the definition.
You give me a list of places to go to have fun. Duke is not on that list.
I guess what I'm getting at is Dollywood. If he declares for and he will, if he declares for the NBA draft, and then you got the draft lottery at the end of May, and the Washington Wizards win that draft lottery.
No one is sitting down and having just a conversation saying, look, you would be a year further away from getting that next huge contract. But also, let's consider, do you want to play somewhere where you're winning 25 games every single season? Is that going to make you happy? And just as this last point, which one do you guys imagine is more fun? Just curious when you say playing against the best.
Right now, the person, LaMelo Ball or Cooper Flagg? It can't be fun. But he's, guys, next year, the NBA draft lottery is going to be won by a bad team also.
Like, what's the confusion here? He's not going to be drafted by, like, the Lakers. No, there's a difference between a bad team and a poorly run team.
Utah is a really bad team. Danny Ainge knows what he's doing.
If Utah gets the number one overall pick, Cooper Flag is likely going to be in a really good situation. If the Wizards get the number one overall pick, he's going to be in a terrible situation.
He keep losing all of a sudden that ping pong ball for the heat. Ethical tanking.
Ethical tanking. You can't do that.
Culture. Let me ask you guys something about changing viewing habits that I have not yet caught up to and I feel bad about this.
That this is still something that surprises me because of my old patterns. When Robert De Niro quietly appears on Netflix with a new movie, I don't understand a Robert De Niro movie appearing quietly on Netflix.
It's getting panned, right? Well, Robert De Niro hasn't made anything good in a very long time. And it's why I wanted to ask the shipping container about what their assessment of Robert De Niro is, because I'm going to say it's been 15 years.
He's also on a show on Netflix, too, right now. Right.
Robert De Niro wants to work, loves to work. And I'm not even criticizing the end of his career because the work has not been very good and and not to his standard as one of the best actors that there's ever been.
But I don't know how you guys, when we talk about Charles Barkley, some people don't remember him as a player. We've now had enough De Niro movies that aren't any good that a whole lot of people might not know that De Niro's good.
That's the guy from Meet the Fockers, right? That is correct. And Dirty Grandpa.
Oh, right. Do you think Robert De Niro would do an extra year at Stella Adler's Studio of Acting? How do you guys think of Robert De Niro? I think he's cashing checks at this point if we're being honest.
Is he not? I mean, come on. He's 81.
He was in a Best Picture nominated film a year ago. Killers of the Flower Moon.
Oh, yeah. That's right.
He was like the lead. Him and Leo were the lead.
That's a Scorsese movie. That's respectable.
Okay, you know what? It is true, but all of you forgot it when I was talking about it. I didn't.
I just brought it up. I think I'm also the only one that probably watched that movie because it was very long.
Yeah, that movie looked long. Everyone told us not to watch it because it was too long.
Speaking of long, remember when he tried to kick the guy in The Irishman? I think that's when I was like, I'm good, actually. I'll go back and watch you in Godfather 2.
Zaslow, you weren't believing Hurley yesterday. Incidentally, Florida has empirically what is being rated by the people who do the analytics best, the best offense we've seen in the sport in a decade.
Their free throws were a problem yesterday, and UConn stayed with them all game. UConn has been bad for them this season, and Hurley has been someone who publicly has shown us more of himself than we've ever seen, and he's got jagged edges, he's arrogant, he will...
He's brutal. He will be somebody that can be not liked in his pursuit of championships as people watch him, and yesterday he leaves the court losing by two, and it's not a graceful exit.
I mean, he's leaving the floor essentially accusing the referees of cheating. You lost to the number one seed in the region, a team who only behind Duke, everyone else is picking Florida to win the national championship.
You didn't lose because of cheating. I mean this guy, they won the national championship the last two years, winning every game by double figures.
I mean all the games were, I think the closest one was UM where they lost by, uh, where they went by 13. That was like the closest game.
And now when they finally lose, he's accusing the, the officials of cheating, yelling to Baylor. I hope they don't have you the way they have to us.
And then he gets to the press conference and with the crocodile tears, my God. Oh, he is, he is, he's a rough watch.
Get out of here. He is so unlikable.
Crocodile tears. Crocodile.
That means phony tears. Thank you.
Thank you for the definition. Can you please play the sound of Hurley off the court, even though Zaz did a pretty good reenactment? I hope they don't do that to you, Baylor.
I hope they don't do that to you, Baylor. Does he really hope they don't do that to Baylor? Like, he's thinking himself right on that.
He hopes he do. Their season ended.
God, I hope Baylor doesn't have that happen to them. What's going to happen to Baylor? What are you laughing about, Billy? I mean, he's right.
He's not thinking about Baylor at that moment. God, is Baylor going to be okay? I gotta go tell them I hope it doesn't happen to them.
Get out of here. I like you leaning away from the microphone and just shouting, sort of belching criticism.
I don't want to be too loud, that's why. No, but the way you characterized that as how Hurley did it did not quite match the video.
Because in the video, he's in a suit, and he is walking with his back a little further back than it should be. And he's not helping Baylor, nor trying to help Baylor.
He's just hissing in anger because his team was pretty close and shouldn't have been because they're not as good as Florida by a long shot.

That was a 10-point underdog they were in that game. But when you lean back from the microphone and do it with the casual arrogance of Hurley, it's something that made me think of a conversation

we were having last week about Elon Musk and likability okay um who are he's not who are the people in sports who are universally likable I know Seth Curry many of you are are tired of the storylines almost so impossibly sweet as if you you've grown bored of how impossibly sweet it is but when you think of likable people across sports, who gets to be the opposite of Hurley? Because I enjoy, obviously, the coaches. Pete Carroll's of the world are fine.
It's nice to be around. But I enjoy these people who are hissing monsters of showing you their vanities, showing you their arrogance, showing you when they're pissed off that they don't care how it looks, that you don't like them.
I don't like nasty people. I think it's a pretty easy way for me to sum up how I feel about Dan Hurley.
He comes off as a nasty man. He does, but he's a champion, and usually we like that.
We were fine with that, too. I mean, he comes off as nasty.
He was plenty likable the last two years before this one. Right, so what happened this year? He was kind of a competitive asshole then too, right? Like even when he was winning championships, most people felt the way that Zaz does right now, which is like, hey, he's a great coach and he's led them to this unbelievable run, capitalizing on, let's be real, a couple of the worst years in college basketball history.
But going and winning back-to-back national championships, he just seemed like this kind of jerk toward everybody. But that was okay because it was masked with winning.
You know, they went back-to-back national champions, and then they finally lose. He's crying.
Like, actually crying on the podium. I actually found that likable.
No. I found it fake.
Crocodile Tunes.

Can you imagine him with a massive megaphone like being the Lakers head coach and what he would be doing there? He'd be an awful NBA coach. He must regret that one.
He wouldn't have made it through the first year. No.
LeBron would have gotten him out of there. Awful.
He missed his window. He'll never be an NBA coach.
Never. I like that.
I own that statement. Let's play for everybody the sound of Stugat not knowing what crocodile tears are.
When we were at that Jay Wakefield event and a thousand people come out and we see the shipping container and they're on a stage and they're like rock stars. You and me both had tears in our eyes.
We're like mom and dad of sentiment, and it's hard to get you to sentiment, man.

I still want the end.

It's almost what I want, but you're right.

That was a very emotional moment for us to see those guys running that particular appearance.

I'm telling you guys, you were on stage.

Dan and I were both crying.

Are you guys aware of this?

Crying.

Like crocodile tears.

Crocodile tears are fakes. Crocodile tears are fakes.
I thought they meant big. I miss that guy.
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For the first time in 1,102 days days UConn has lost a tournament game. Zaslow's anger and hostility toward Hurley.
Can you explain to me when I say to you and it's your right to make the correction Hurley was the same person and you may not have liked it. But winning does indeed mask and especially the correlation that we make causation when one of these people is a jerk.
And we say, well, that's why he wins. He's he's rewarded for it because look at the disciplinarian that that he is.
But I don't think that those are insincere tears. I think that man cares so obsessive compulsive deeply that, of course, he would break emotionally and wouldn't even want people to see that.
I don't think because of whatever it is his guards are about needing to be leader guy. I mean, wouldn't you think that the real person is the one who is caught candidly coming off the floor as opposed to the guy who knows i'm about to get in front of media and cameras okay this is what i want to say i believe the tears what i don't believe is that he said he'll never love a team as much as he loved this team wouldn't you love a team that won the he just won back-to-back championships yeah he's a liar that one come on To Zaslow's point, when he didn't know the camera was on, he was behaving like a spoiled brat, screaming and cursing.
And then when he knew the camera was going to be on and he had time to compose himself, all of a sudden, he's crying. That's what I'm saying.
I love everybody so much. I'm this great leader.
I hope Baylor doesn't get screwed like we did. You know what that was? Salesman.
He turned the salesman. We talked about it last week.
All of a sudden, you're a head coach, you're a CEO, you're a salesman. You know what? This guy cares about his team.
They lost, but he cares. All of a sudden, I'm going to commit to UConn.
And he cares about Baylor because he's worried that they're going to get screwed like they did. I feel like we're saying that Dan Hurley's a better actor than Robert De Niro.
Wow. Zaslow leaned back from the microphone and shouted it like a man at a bar, a bar he sort of owns, casually being arrogant around others.
Just, I hope, I hope they don't bleep you. The way they bleeped us, just like loud enough for the refs to hear.
He wasn't really doing it for us or the cameras, right? It was just, the refs were somewhere behind him. Well, no, he also could be doing it because he wants some NIL transfers, you know what I mean? Like, in a transfer portal situation, there's somebody's eyeing on Baylor, like, hey, good luck out there.
I hope they don't screw you like you know, they screwed us, and then offseason comes and all of a sudden he's talking to them, he's like, I got two million dollars for you if you want. Remember when I was worried about you in the tournament? Like, oh yeah, coach, you cared so much about me.
Boom. Remember, I who when our game ended our season ended we're no longer national champions first thing i thought of was let me go seek out let me where's baylor i gotta let them know i hope you don't get screwed like we did um there are many unusual things about the uh mysterious and magical zaslow let me uh choose one uh are you still someone who eats donuts that don't have sugar on them? I don't eat things in my hands that get messy.
That's what it boils down to. So you're not a wings guy? No.
No ribs. No.
And no ribs, no. All over the face, it's not worth it.
Look like an idiot. I don't do it.
No food that you would hold with your hand. That will make me messy.
Like I'll eat pizza pizza. Okay.
That'll get you messy, though. You get a saucy pie.
You get messy? What are you, two years old? You get a saucy pie all of a sudden, you got a little schmutz. I'm an adult.
I could eat pizza without getting messy. But the ribs, the wings, it's not worth it.
They don't taste good enough for the cleanup process that takes place. That's insane.
You are a crazy person. We have both ends of the spectrum here because Jess doesn't eat certain things with like a fork and knife, by my understanding.
I just eat everything with my hands. Good for you.
Donuts, though? Donuts, if it has sugar on it, you're not eating it? It's too messy. It's too messy.
The icing, I don't do that either. Icing's overrated, man.
I don't eat icing. Like glaze? I love my favorite donut.
Okay, what you're getting at is my go-to donut. Every time I go to Dunkin', give me that plain stick.
Ugh. Weather is starting to warm up.
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