Local Hour: Everybody's Got a Podcast

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Roy, I'm scared of backward cap Billy with a mischievous grin, and I'm scared of backward cap Billy with a mischievous grin. Me? On a day that there's no Chris Cody.
Oh, because he's got a tight ship here. No Stugatz.
No Mike Ryan. No Lewis.
It's just Billy, and now Billy's turned his... No Lewis.
Lewis hasn't been to work in three weeks. Where is he? He's been missing more than Stugatz.
Who are you to talk to? Your brother was here working last week, and you weren't for some reason. I didn't approve that, by the way.
I don't really understand. We liked him better.
Our vacation policy is not something that I totally get. But it seems nice.
Some people get to never work, and other people never get to take vacation. And I'm always here.
That's how it works. Well, wait a minute.
Some people have kids also on spring break and they have to come in every day this week. And they go spend any time with their family.
That's how it works. And other people just went on vacation and they're back on vacation again now this week.
I don't understand our policy. I know that you guys always think that I'm the hot dog meme pointing back at himself like the Spider-Man meme, but that I'm Tim Robinson.
But I find myself wondering how it is we're going to withstand it. And in the breach steps superhero Jonathan Zaz.
Yeah, we're Stu Gatz. Zaz looks like radio.
You said that the other day. What does that mean? It's mean.
That's exactly what it is. Is it mean? It's not a compliment.
No, I thought I'm looking handsome these days. I think you look great.
Thank you. The bald look is definitely working for you.
All right, thank you. In outfit and demeanor, he looks like radio.
He comes in. Look, I think I'm going to start the show just asking Zaslow an assortment of questions so that we can get to know the Zaslow wardrobe, for example.
Oh, my wife was not pleased with today's wardrobe. That's a great jacket.
Thank you. My wife was not happy.
I go into the closet in the morning. I pick out whatever is the handiest, whatever is the closest.
The lights are not on in the bedroom. It's early in the morning.
And she looks at me. She goes, that is a terrible, terrible outfit.
And I couldn't care less. What do I care? Who am I trying to impress? See, that's the thing.
But I've got a lot of questions because you guys have to understand that the Zaslow I know never wants to leave Cooper City. They got everything I need.
He doesn't want to see the world, doesn't want to see Europe. My wife's going to Europe on Wednesday this week.
I'm staying in Cooper City. And is thrilled because he'll just watch Panther games.
Where the hell is Cooper City? It's a suburb in Broward, and it's got everything I need, man. Publix and everything.
Yeah, it's got a Publix. It's got a gas station in case I need to go somewhere.
It's got a liquor store. I'm good to go.
I'm telling you that as close to Venice as Zazz will ever get if a college football game is not played there now that ESPN is making him travel, is one of those canals on the outskirts of Cooper City. Like, he'll vacation there.
He doesn't want—I'm going to ask a question here. How many coats do you—like, you've traveled with college football.
When that experiment began, how many coats did you own? It's a great question. I was not fully prepared for how cold the end of the college football season was going to be.
Like when I'm going to South Bend, Indiana, I was not prepared for that. I need to do a much better job before next college football season.
I was cold. You didn't answer my question.
Yeah, I don't have coats.

I don't. Cooper City doesn't get

that cold. You didn't own

a coat before traveling for

college football season? No, no. I was just

wearing hooded sweatshirts

and hope that does the truth.

In Wisconsin? It was so

cold. Ann Arbor, Michigan.

It was really cold.

This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugatz Podcast. Is everyone mad at March Madness? Not enough drama and buzzer beaters and upsets and stories and fun.
And why are you making a face, Tony? Come on, because I don't like that we get this once a year, okay? We have this incredible tournament where there's basketball everywhere and there's hoops everywhere and I got my wife being like, are you really going to watch college basketball? I'm like, yeah, babe, it's March. That's what I do in March.
We watch college hoops. And, yeah, there hasn't been a ton of upsets.
There hasn't been a ton of buzzer beaters. There have been a ton of the secret sauce, though.
There is always the secret sauce of the white guy. You know, going into this tournament, I told you my analysis was everyone's going to shoot 35%.
And so when you go and you watch St. John's, and God bless, God bless Calipari here, who beats Self.
He's got to feel so good. He has to feel so good today taking out Patino and Self at Arkansas.
But so everyone told you before St. John's, hey, they can't shoot threes and they can't shoot free throws.
Can't do either of those. And it's like, okay, if they can't do those, that seems to be problematic in those pesky one-on-one situations that everyone's going to get bothered by when they're gambling on these games.
Does Calipari feel better right now than the Kentucky fan is angry? I mean, Cal missed the second, he lost in the round, well, it was five consecutive years before he left there, and now, coaching his ass off. He's the best story of the tournament.
It is nuts that there are only four conferences remaining, and one of them's there only because Duke's still there. Like, otherwise, you'd have this dominated by all of these same teams, and a lot of people see in that St.
John's and Arkansas game, which is the one a lot of people were looking forward to, oh my God, that's horrific. Woof.
That is horrific to watch four for 41 from three. You've never seen a tournament game where the shooting is that bad.
And you realize that no matter how much money is in it, paid for it, or gambled on it, oh, they're not pros. They're learning how to play basketball, and we're just betting on them younger.
Oh, they're not good yet. It's almost like college kickers.
Where do the NFL kickers come from? Because every college kicker I see sucks. Terrible.
Terrible. That's hard to do.
It seems like a hard job. College kicking seems like that's not that easy just because the pros make it.

Steph makes it look like that, so we get mad at Pitino for not coaching St. John's better at threes.

Like, oh, that's the damage that that does.

Get some guy that can shoot three.

The secret sauce, you know, every coach knows going into March, I need one guy who's white who can shoot.

And Pitino has none of them.

I love the attention that Calipari's got.

I know he's super polarizing. A lot of people don't like him.
You could say that he underachieved, even though he won a national championship at Kentucky. Think of what Calipari's done this year.
That Arkansas team was terrible to start the season. Then they went to Lexington.
Patino's putting out a video. Don't boo Cal.
You should treat him with respect. And Calipari goes into Lexington, and they kick the crap out of that Kentucky team.
And then we get to the tournament not only in the Sweet 16, but he beats Bill Self and Patino on the way. This is a grand slam of a year that Calipari's had.
How do I turn him down a little in the morning? What do I need to do to turn the Zaslow down a little bit? I'm going to be honest with you. I think I'm at exactly the right level right now.
Yeah, he needs the energy. He's doing good.
I mean, this is morning. He's here.
Why would you want to do that? I'll tell you why. Thank you for asking.
The games weren't worthy of that kind of enthusiasm. The enthusiasm that he is presently showing for this weekend's games.
This weekend's games were a disappointment. Here's the thing, though.
I like what happened. I don't like all the upsets.
I don't like all the sin. I would like some madness.
You know, we got the madness. There was no madness.
Maryland was the only madness. Okay, that was madness.
Right, that was it. There wasn't enough madness.
There was not enough madness, but I don't like all the upsets. I like when the big teams win.
I want the huge matchups in the Sweet 16. I don't need a 12 versus an 8 in the Sweet 16.
I want the great games next weekend, and that's what we're getting now. I was fine with this weekend.
Okay, I want to talk about a couple of the college basketball stories. But because this is the local hour, and I know one of the reasons that Zazz is fired up is that he doesn't like that people are taking shots at Pat Riley, I would imagine.
I'm going to fight somebody. Fight me.
Well, as I mentioned. So the Miami Heat break a 10-game losing streak the longest since 2008 last night.

Oh, that's what it looks like when you trade for Andrew Wiggins. Okay, that's what that was supposed to look like.
That guy's a pretty good scorer, huh? 42 points. And against Charlotte in a game that means absolutely nothing.
But that would help in the fourth quarter over the last month, over the 10 losses. That's not the Wiggins that we have seen.
That is not the Heat we have seen. The thing that I wanted to ask you guys about, though, because I'm sure, as I can feel Jessica drift off to sea, and I don't even blame her on just Miami Heat talk because I don't think anybody – I don't think – Well, it was a big game.
It brought them to 11 games under .500. For that reason, I don't believe that anybody wants to hear Heat talk.
However, tomorrow there is a game that Jimmy Butler is saying is just another game that he's already been spotted in Miami playing dominoes, and Zazz was scared of going into that game on an 11-game losing streak. On national TV, games on TNT tomorrow.
You think anyone will be talking about that? Jimmy Butler coming in, they've lost like a game since acquiring him, and the Heat on an 11-game losing skid. You think I need that in my life? So this is where we are with the Miami Heat, and I am torn, though, because about the only thing worth talking about, like none of these games matter.
Like we're going to talk about Jimmy Butler. Denver-Houston was interesting yesterday, and nobody cares.
Like basketball people care. Basketball people are like, oh, that's an amazing story in Houston.
Oh, Odoka just gets to turn it around like that. We never find out what actually happened.
He cleans it up, and he goes and he fixes Houston. But Denver's better, and Denver's a champion, and we all think Denver can win the championship, while none of us think that Houston can win the championship.
But the sport is run at the moment by storylines, by drama, because that regular season game doesn't matter. Because it doesn't matter whether Houston or Denver is two or three.
We can talk about it, but it doesn't matter. And so people latch on to the stuff like Jimmy's back in town.
You're mad at people who are coming after Pat Riley? Yeah, and I'll give you a storyline, by the way, headline tomorrow night on TNT. They could steal it from me if they want.
Warriors, 0-1 over their last game. Heat, 1-0.
You want a storyline. Those are just facts.
Lead with that. That's not a good lead.
One team's hot, one team's not, Dano. Be fair.
That's not a good lead. Be fair.
No, I am mad because you know what's happening? You have everyone out there on their podcast. Everybody's got a podcast.
Everyone's got a podcast. Don't you? Yes, but I'm a professional broadcaster, all right? Everyone's got a podcast.
Also because Miami Radio kicked me out. so I got a podcast, all right? And everybody's got a podcast now, and everyone is taking potshots at Pat Riley.
It's like, all right, we've all been waiting, apparently, for the opportunity to finally be super critical and put Pat Riley out to pasture, apparently. And you know how you know that everybody's been waiting? Because the Heat were in the finals two years ago.
It's not like they were in the finals 22 years ago. They were in the finals two years ago.
So the very first opportunity to take a shot at Pat Riley, everybody's doing it now. And I don't like it.
All right, so we've got plenty of heat homers around here. I should explain to the people who may be new to us, as Zazz has to explain to his 16-year-old son, who David Sampson is, that Zazz is not just a Miami radio legend.
I would nominate him for honorary shipping container member because when 790 started, when all of us started in radio, Zaz was there the first day. Original employee.
Was there the first day doing what the shipping container would do for us, for Boog, for Boog Shambi. And so I believe that Zaz is worthy of being an honorary shipping container member.
Tony shakes his head vigorously. No, it's just when...
You know I'm sitting right here, right? No, I'm going to explain it to you. I think you're going to agree with me, which is why you can't be a shipping container member, right? You sit on that side of the glass.
Yeah, exactly. We sit on this side of the glass.
It's a class system. It's a class system.
It's a motion for you. You don't sit here and do your show here.
You sit there and do your show there. So there's kind of a separation between us.
No, no, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Like, Amin, if you give Amin his choice, he would rather be in there. It's all...
Amin is, though. Amin is a shipping container member.
That's the difference. Also, I'm above Amin, you're saying? No, Amin splits time, but he's honorary here.
Stugatz is also in the shipping container. Also, yes.
I would say it's a... When I say honorary shipping container member, I'm

bestowing upon him an honor from

a group I have found historically distrustful

about allowing others

into the inner circle. It takes

a minute. Nobody's ever arrived here and

just gets to be good with the shipping

container. Do you trust me?

I do. I do have a story about Zaz I've never

mentioned on air, ever. This is

actually a really good story.

This is fun now. It's exciting.
Okay, so

So, I did my job. We went to like a car dealership and I would have to spin the wheel and you know all that stuff a hustler you were these were the beginnings you know me the beginnings of the collage exactly right pass down from your father all of a sudden we're coming back from i don't know tropical chevrolet somewhere far away right we get there it's nighttime it's a heat game and in the studio i peek through there used to be in the 790 studio there was a window like this big yeah through door.
It was like a submarine door. And I looked in, and they were on break, and it was Zaslo and Tommy Tide.
And I was like, oh, my God. Looking like radio.
What a crew. I was like, oh, my God.
I can't believe it. It's Zaslo and Tommy Tide.
Tony, did it or did it not look like radio? Looked and smelled like radio. You should have walked down the other hallway.
There's a giant glass. It was like a fish tank.
Well, yeah, but I wanted to look into where the studio was. So I was there, and then I kind of poked my head in.
And at the same time, Zaz is trying to throw a paper away. So he's shooting a garbage jump shot where I'm opening the door.
So as I open the door, the garbage flings at me. It misses me.
It hits the – you made the shot, by the way. Made it.
And I'm like, hey, Zaz, hey, Tommy, just big fan, whatever. Didn't say anything and then just...
No, I don't. Oh, you got big time.
Screw you, man. He had the headphones on, so I don't know if he heard me or not.
I didn't know if he was like... Okay, important detail.
You said I had the headphones on? Alright, come on. There's no way that I would just straight up ignore you.
Regardless, getting back to the original content, Tony hit a nerve there. I'm just saying.
He threw garbage at you. That was hello.
He threw garbage at me and then didn't answer me. And ignored him.
Hey, I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan.
Oh my God, it's John Thaddeus. You throw garbage at you and it doesn't speak to you that's the headline

who does qualify as an

honorary shipping container

member? Mina

has she ever even been in a shipping container?

yeah she did Roy's Rome

oh that's right

forgive me, my apologies

I actually turned to Tommy Taig, I said show him out please

don't make eye contact and get out of here Forgive me. My apologies.
I actually turned to Tommy Taig. I said, show him out, please.

Don't make eye contact, kid, and get out of here.

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Second down to nine.

This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the Stugats. Jeremy was doing his reports from the game yesterday, and I saw him reporting on behalf of Advancing Through Dancing.
He was effervescent. Jeremy is bubbly as a sideline reporter.
Perpetual enthusiasm. Yeah, I bring the energy, Dano.
You know, it's my job to make sure that as the Heat are on a 10-game losing streak that that's not reflected in the broadcast. We're here for people to have a great time, to enjoy each individual game.
And if I can put a smile on somebody's face, I'm going to do that with my energy and my smiling face. Well, okay.
And this is where it is that we get called heat homers. And a criticism that was levied at me here recently as it regards Pat Riley is when I was saying that I got aggregated for saying around here that Jimmy's unstable ingredient had made it so that when he left the Heat organization, there was a relief in the building.
And a lot of people, and I understand why they would make this criticism, suggested that I'm just doing mouthpiece work on behalf of executives when I say that. But I wasn't even talking about executives.
I was talking about employees. I'm not even talking about the players.
I was just talking about like relief in the building that that, that whatever that tension was, I was talking to simply about the funny thing about the report and it getting aggregated is that people naturally assume, Oh, Pat Riley's whimpering to Dan about how bad Jimmy was at the end. And it's like, no, I just talk.
I know people who work there and they were like really uncomfortable, not, not just at the end, long before the end, because of whatever it is, like, I don't even know what it is to, to work in the secrecy of that building where you're not allowed to say anything about anything to anybody that basketball is this supreme, holy thing that can't be touched. And whatever Jimmy's doing in that setting, Jimmy's getting whatever he wants.
I ran into someone from the heat at the beginning of the season, the very beginning of the season, someone who I used to see all the time when I was on the broadcast. How you doing? Good to see you.
How's everything going? You answered him, huh? And the answer was, everything's all right. You know, just dealing with Jimmy.
And this was the very beginning of the season before anything became public with him being angry. His answer was, yeah, it was good.
Just, you know, dealing with Jimmy. Okay, so one of the things, though, because I don't want to do revisionist history here, not only did that win, putting the coal in in that furnace of conflict like this is this one to me is super like super rich for study whatever you believe to be that organization over the last 20 years it thrived in a way that would be really uncomfortable I think for most human beings in conflict okay I would call it a toxic workplace, but there is a boss over the conflict and the conflict is fuel.
The conflict's not bad. The conflict makes everyone who's fighting over money in minutes better.
The conflict makes everyone stronger, but you wouldn't want to work around it. And the best of it was Jimmy and Jimmy wanted to fight you D and Spoh wanted to fight Jimmy and whatever the manifestations of that are every day.
I don't think I'd like to work around it. I think I would crumble around it.
Now I'm weaker than the people in these workplaces. One of the reasons I love studying the arena is Because, my God, they're all bigger, stronger, faster.
They're all speeding up, learning, fighting for money on what the height of competition is where you've got to earn your shit. You've got to hunt and kill what you eat for your family.
And it's the top 1% of the top 1%. And conflict is the place you're going to get there and we're going to contain it for culture for five years we're going to ride that particular locomotive and then it explodes and what you're left with is a relief but also losing but also you're terrible so now what like what what do you do as a sports fan to put the two things together where you can say, no, man, whatever Jimmy was doing, maybe it wasn't professional, maybe you didn't like it, maybe you didn't like it only when you couldn't totally harness it, but whatever he was doing was the winning.
Like, at the center of it, it was him, and he took it with him. Yeah, but I feel like the way that you're phrasing it is that the Heat were done with it and that's why Jimmy's gone.
No, the Heat were totally good with it still happening. Jimmy's the one who made them get rid of him.
Like he was under contract for this season and essentially next season as well. The Heat, by all accounts, wanted him to play out that entire contract.
My point is, in the age of player empowerment, what happens when you can't harness the conflict? It's all fine when you can harness the conflict. Oh, whatever.
UD and Jimmy might fight with Spoh. It's good video.
It doesn't matter. That was time ago.
Like, what happens when you can't harness it? I've told you guys the story before. Shaq wanted to fight Riley.
They escorted him out with security like they always do with employees, but Shaq wanted to fight Riley and wasn't allowed back in the building. Riley will say, of a conflict with Alonzo Mourning, where it seemed like Alonzo Mourning was his coach because they were face-to-face.
You can say bleep you to me. Just teach me something.
When that's an environment, I'm legitimately asking you guys, what happens when you can't harness the conflict? You trade him, and the team falls apart because the culture is really just nonsense to sell season tickets. It's all about the talent.
And when you get rid of the most talented players on your team, you have off seasons that are not good and seasons that are bad. You're going to take that Zaslow? I mean, like, it's an argument that we can go round and round about.
I feel like you're saying it just to aggravate me that the culture is just something to sell tickets. Welcome to my world, my friends.
I mean, like you're just trying to get under my skin here. You're not talking about a franchise.
You're not talking about a franchise that's been terrible for several years. Yes, this has been a bad year.
And I kind of feel like I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt to fix it in the offseason. Now, I think this is a huge offseason.
I think it's an offseason like maybe they've never had before because of the conversation around the team. But it's one bad season that they've had now.
But they got rid of their star. That's what I'm saying is the culture exists when you have the star.
And they'll get another one. Yeah, and then the culture will be back.
Yeah, they'll get another. Because it's just talent.
Well, it's hard to, you know, it's hard to do this when you don't have any good players. They'll get another star.
They've had, how many different iterations of, you know, winning teams have they had with Pat Riley there? They've done it over and over again. They're going to do it again.
They'll get someone else this offseason. The reality is, too, like the emotional baggage of all of this and Andrew Wiggins missing half the game since he showed up.
They haven't been able to get into a groove. And it's been one bad season.
But to act like like Jimmy was maximized by this group and sort of the revisionist history because they didn't make certain transactions. I think that's the weird part of this is Jimmy played the best basketball of his career and the most winning basketball of his career with Spoh as his coach, with Bam as his co-star, and with all of the surrounding pieces that they had.
This isn't, this is just what happened. And so to look back at it now and act like he brought something to the organization and then took it with him when he left that was never there before at worst it was 50 50 right they it was a great partnership that's why there's so many people around the organization and within the fan base who were so frustrated by the things he said after the last Warriors game, sort of dismissing it as just like a cute little time that he had with some friends when he still hasn't said anything about the guys that were his co-stars.
I think most people are frustrated by the fact that, you know, he still hasn't said anything about a guy like Bam, who took every single bullet that you could imagine while Jimmy was there as sort of his shield the way way Draymond is for Steph. I do wonder what that was like behind the scenes, because one of my, well, I mean, something that I feel like is fair to be critical of Bam about, when Jimmy was still here this year, and Bam's the captain, it's like, why are you allowing this behavior? If you're a heat culture guy, and you're an extension of the coach, and you're an extension of Pat Riley, and you're the captain of the team, I don't feel like Udonis Haslam is allowing Jimmy Butler to go out into the game and shoot one-legged fadeaway three-pointers.
But I don't know what's happening behind the scenes. But again, I ask you, what happens when you can't harness the conflict? Bam lived in service of Jimmy.
That. That's what it looks like.
But I mean, and was rewarded for it. I mean, Bam does what PR asks him to do.
Bam is great team spokesman. Bam is nice.
Bam is also not as aggressive as you'd like him to be. But if you're the captain of the team, how are you allowing a guy to be on the floor with you and actively not try? What's he going to do? That more bothers me.
Fight him? When he's better than you, there's nothing you can do. Yeah, what are you going to do? That's why, from an outsider's perspective, that's why they roll their eyes at the whole culture stuff.
Because the culture exists as long as the superstar wants to indulge it and participate in the culture. He did not want to be participating in the culture.
And to what you guys are saying, everyone behind the scenes is like, well, we just have to kind of put up with whatever Jimmy's doing. He never did, though.
Yeah, so then there's not actually a culture. No, I mean, they built a culture around what they did.
They maximized the player. They maximized all of the other guys around him.
That work ethic never left those guys. And Jimmy was there working that way until they brought in his friend in kyle lowry and then those guys separated themselves from the locker room you guys people don't work hard on other teams to make rosters like that's the part i don't understand i mean you can look around the entire nba there's nobody who has taken as many second round picks in the last decade and turn them into serviceable NBA players that have gotten contracts elsewhere and with the team.
It's silly to put it down as nothing, but also hyping it up as if it's the only thing that matters and that talent doesn't matter would be short-sighted. I am not saying that they don't need better players on the roster to be able to compete for championships, but it's been about the little things that allow you to be a five seed in the bubble that makes the run to the finals, that allows you to be an eight seed that makes the run to the finals.
That's where you can hang your hat on it and you can laugh at it. And by the way, if you're nationally listening to this, you probably should, because this will be the one opportunity to do so.
We don't have to hang a hat on it. Well, you're totally right.
And I know you were talking to just me. I know, but you're totally right.
There's no need to hang a hat on that. Yeah, why are we hanging a hat? Why can't LeBron just have his cookies? Fly on the plane, you just chocolate chip cookies, and then it's fine.
You know that story's bullshit. Come on.
What? Oh, okay. LeBron? Get out of here.
Why would he make that up? Why would Pat Riley, who doesn't travel with the team, send a text message to the servers on the plane and say, no more cookies. Culture.
What are we talking about? Billy actually moved away from the microphone as if something had exploded nearby just because he had, look, I would like to play these particular notes for the next two days, Billy, because I know you can get Zaslow easily agitated and you haven't had one of those. That's not what I'm doing.
We're just having a conversation about the heat, the culture, the cookies, etc. It's Monday morning.
I feel good about the tournament. I feel good about the Panthers yesterday.
The Heat snapped that streak so they don't have to go into tomorrow with an 11-game losing. That's right.
I said that. I own that statement.
And you're getting me riled up over nonsense here. Cookies? You know that story's not true.
It's stupid. Dan reported it was ice cream that they took away from LeBron.

Took away.

It was ice cream.

He had a spoonful he was about to put in his mouth,

and a flight attendant slapped it out of his hand,

and they opened the emergency exit and threw the ice cream carton out the airplane.

No, that's not how that went.

I remember.

Okay, I understand, but that's always because you're here to help.

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Don Lebertard. We didn't get to your guys' against the spread.
You're right, you're right, you're right. I don't have an against the spread because I wasn't prepared for this segment.
You need an Ian in your life. You have actively played defense against me today

in a way that has rarely been this undercutting.

Stugatz.

Defense wins championships, baby.

That's show business.

This is the Don LeBatar Show with the Stugatz. my wife uh this weekend described Santa as sexy because he just runs around giving you gifts and all he needs is cookies.
You just made me think of that because you brought up cookies. And she's also got a type, obviously.
Yeah. I'm better shaped here for Santa than anybody in our offices, correct? Yes, you're the biggest person here.
No, for Santa. Danny could be Santa.
Biggest. I'm just saying that Danny would be a good Santa.
Yeah, short Santa. No, but Santa.
Santa's got to be big. Santa.
I feel like, yeah, doesn't he? He's got to carry the big sack. How tall does Santa...
I don't know. How tall does Santa have to be? He can't be Danny's size.
Why? Because Danny's like 5'5". He's got to be 6' plus.
Santa's got to be over 6'5". 65 inches, I'm saying.
I don't envision Santa's this giant you're making him out to be. It doesn't have to be a giant.
He just can't be 5'5". Put it on the poll at Levitard Show.
Can Santa be 5'5"? He has to be small to get into chimneys. No, but he can contort his body in a different way.
That's a whole different story. I'm saying Danny is 5'5"? Well, how tall is Danny? I don't know how tall...
He just said that's correct in my ear. Thank you, Danny.
Okay, you're right. You work with this person, and so I...
Dan, you got a good gauge for height. Well, but I think everyone listening to this would agree with the premise and would say to me, Dan, you are correct.
My child cannot believe in a 5'5 Santa, even if my child is small and wants to have representation in the world. Santa can't be 5'5.
Also, he can't be 5'5 because then it feels like the elves would kind of rebel if they saw Santa as a little bit taller than them. They'd be like, hey wait a second, you're not telling us what to do.
Wait, how tall are they? Small. Tell you what, a Jewish Santa would be 5'5".
Yeah, that's right. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show, would a Jewish Santa be 5'5"? Janta.
So Michigan was 8-24 with Juwan Howard. That was kind of a really nice story, and then it wasn't.
And next thing you know, I'm watching seven-footers set screens for each other, and Michigan is in the Sweet 16 because they got they did the thing. They got hot at the right time.
Dusty May, good coach. Yes, there's that.
Tim Allen's 5'10". He played Santa.

Okay, that's a good height for him.

That's a good height for Santa.

I'm going to look for the shortest Santas, Dan.

When I do word association on Tim Allen,

I do cocaine trafficking,

ended up in prison

just because it was so shocking to me

to learn that the guy who was on Home Improvement

did a ride in prison over cocaine sales. I think it would be from Toy Story.
Two Americas, Dan. Two Americas.
Two Americas. Was Jeremy just surprised by that? I learned that on a podcast like a month ago and simply could not believe it.
Because also, like Billy, Woody or Santa Claus. I was going to say, Woody is not.
Oh, Buzz Lightyear. Right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right.
Woody's Tom Hanks, of course. You know what? My mistake.
I think of the mugshot, Dan, where it's like him holding the little letters that they put into that thing, and he's holding it there like that. With a Hawaiian shirt on or something, right? You would never catch Woody doing lines.
That's why you can't be Woody. I would love a Google Doc or something, or just a phone line where people can call in with facts that shock them like that.

Because you all have them. You all have these little things that you learned about people.
And I'd like to go around the room right now, in fact. If you guys needed to surprise somebody by saying to them, you know, you're having a conversation about whatever.
and you've got a fact in your arsenal

that you learned

and it was shocking for you to learn

and then you felt the need to share it with somebody.

I should give you more time than this

and more preparation.

Tim Allen made me think of it

because I always say it

when Tim Allen makes an appearance

it's the first thought that I have.

Ed Asner was 5'7". He played Santa Claus.
Ed Asner is pushing it. He was pushing it.
The late Ed Asner. And Lou Grant struck me as taller than that.
He played bigger. He repped bigger.
Lou Grant. It's like Draymond Green.
He plays over his side. Yes, yes.
Ed Asner played bigger than... Put it on the poll at Levitard Show.

Did Ed Asner play bigger than 5'7"?

Defending Giannis?

Yeah.

I mean, he did.

He would...

Oh, that's a fine, Zaslo.

That's a fine.

That is so amateur.

That's why you can't be an honorary shipping container member.

We know back here you got to keep the phone on.

I didn't hear it.

Amateur mistake, Zaslo. Dan, I have a top five for honorary shipping container members.
Oh, back here we've got to keep the phone down. I didn't hear it.
Amateur mistakes.

That is a terrible job. Dan, I have a top five for honorary shipping container member.

Oh, you have a top five? Oh, this is

very exciting. Yes, I would love a top five.

Are you a member?

Tracy Morgan's 5'9". He played Santa.

Any OLI?

No OLI. We'll get straight to it.
Number five.

Taylor.

Seems to always be hanging

out underneath the desk here. If you live here, you're not going to remember.
Billy, did you vote on that? No. It's not his list.
It's my list, Dan. Okay, sorry.
Number four, we got to pay homage to the ones that came before us. Old Money Charlie.
Old Money Charlie at four. Number three, Izzy.
Izzy spends a lot of time here in the shipping container. We're very happy with Izzy.

He does occasionally go to the other side of the glass when he needs to,

but his home is here in the shipping container with us.

Number two, I mean.

Also a guy that can play both sides, right?

He's here with us, and then he goes in with Dan when he needs to

and be Mr. Serious Guy, but then he can come back here

and play with us when it's convenient for him.

He's playing both sides. Playing both sides.
Playing both sides. And number one, Bobby.
Good list. Okay, it's not a bad list, but the reason that I wanted to do it, because some of those people are actually in and out of the shipping container, I was thinking of the entire story of going back to first day 790.

Not even Sedano goes back that far.

I'm trying to go back and grab the people who would know the story of this show from the inside of it as if they were a shipping container member.

Because that's why I'm nominating Zaslow.

I'm nominating Zaslow because he understands the specifics of how we do our show. needing to be taught any of it.
So Andy King. Nobody knows who that is, not even in the shipping container.
Andy King, you're right about, but you just mentioned a name that you'd be outvoted in your room by people who simply don't know who you're talking about. Well, he was executive producer before hot came in and then became but i'm also talking about and forgive me for making all of the rules and definitions on this but somebody that you guys would also respect enough as having understood what it is to do your job so you would welcome that person in look this is what happens one of the things that happens in the friendships around our show or community is people meet immediately.
And because they have the show as language, they can take a shortcut to, oh, we like some of the same things. That's what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about Zazzle has a life experience that makes it. I mean, we learned radio together.
He learned and we learned how to do all this in the same place at the same time. Stugatz interviewed me for the job before 790 Ticket went on air.
He was the one I interviewed with and hired me. Andy King hired me.
Stugatz hired me. Tim Conway was 5'6".
Not Santa. Yeah, he played Santa.
He played Santa? He's too thin to play Santa. Okay, I mean, I'm looking at a list of actors who played Santa.
I know, okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry we attacked you.
You're trying to, though, put me in the shipping container, but I feel like they're saying that I'm too big for the shipping container. That's what I said.
Yeah, that's right. Almost directly.
And what I'm saying is that they don't like you enough to put you in the shipping container. There is no way I ignored you when you said hello to me.
You didn't say anything back to me. It's a pattern.
So that allows me to think that you ignored me. It's a pattern.
I mean, what's the other example to make it a pattern? You ignored me when I said you weren't in the shipping container. You were above it.
That was just today. Tim Conway, by the way, doesn't really count.
It was an animated film, Saving Santa, 2013. Voice actor.
Well, you could do it. As a voice actor, I guess you could do it, right? It's okay to be 5'6".
He's got a bigger voice than 5'6", Tim Conway. We can agree, right? No, I don't think we can agree with that.
But I don't think we also want to do a show about Tim Conway. But if you want to talk about old things, there was one in sports this weekend i don't want um to go too much time more without addressing because in my career watching sports figures rare is the genuine change i saw about what one man was versus what he became than the one that happened publicly with ge Foreman, where he went from the most feared

man in the universe, Mike Tyson, before Mike Tyson, to a jolly spokesman for things that you wanted

to buy stuff from because he was great at the ministry and great at really reaching the every

man by trying to leave a minister's life, a minister's narcissistic heavyweight life where you have several kids and name all of them George, including your daughter Georgina.

Because he also had like a number of things from his past life that seeped into what some people thought was dehydration, Dehydration, but he said was finding God and he changed his life from evermore to become a person who America remembers more for the second half of his career and what he invented than for what he did with his athletic gifts were enough that were enough to beat to frighten Muhammad Ali and to make Muhammad Ali the boxer that he was because and only because he was able to beat George Foreman. Yeah I mean it's one's one of those famous boxing moments ever, Rope-A-Dope, but I feel like Barkley's a similar trajectory there, where both of them were super nasty.
Like, Barkley was a nasty man when he played, and a lot of people, like my son, my 16-year-old son, definitely only knows Barkley as the really cool guy, the funny guy who says whatever he wants on TNT. Like Barkley is pretty similar to George Foreman in that regard.
One of the things you were saying earlier about like the random facts that you know about somebody or something that you bring up, the George Foreman grill thing is crazy. Have you heard that story before? Do you know? Oh, thank you.
That is excellent producing by you, Tony. Do we have the sound hulk hogan saying they used to share an agent is it true that you passed on the george foreman grill idea no that's not true i missed the phone call what happened tell me the story well i mean you know i george foreman and i had the same agent and my kids were complaining that i was always towards the end of the line picking them up at school.
They would get out of school at three o'clock and these soccer moms would start lining up their minivans and talking shop, you know, and so I would come a quarter to three, 15 minutes before my kids get out of school. I was at the back of the bus.
So I went to McDonald's early, got Diet Cokes and get the burgers and the fries. It was a big surprise.
I got to the school about quarter after two. I was the first one in line.
My kids came out. They were all excited.
I had the drinks and the hamburgers and stuff. And we went home and I checked my answer machine.
And my answer machine, my agent called me. He goes, hey, Hogan, I'm calling you.
I got two things. I got a grill and I got a blender.
I got these two choices for you and George. So when I called him back, my agent says, well, I called you first and I figured you'd

take the grill, but you weren't home. So I called George and he took the grill.
So 400, 450 million

dollars later, we've got the George Foreman grill on every size and color you can imagine.

And I got the blender that you put eight ounces of water, a scoop of protein and a

double A battery in it. It'd spin three times and fart and cut off.

Hey, you in the audience, it's Mike. You've been a fan of this show, hopefully for a long time, and you know how much Miller Lite means to me.
This partnership, it's real. It's documented.
For almost 20 years, Miller Lite has been a partner of the Dan Levitard Show with Stugatz, and now Miller Lite is celebrating its 50th anniversary. I've had so many great moments with Miller Lite, so many great activations, so many great events presented by Miller Lite.

A great partner.

Cheers to them.

Cheers to 50 incredible years.

And for you at home, you know that Miller time always means a good time.

From game night to parties with friends or a special anniversary, celebrating important occasions means more moments for the coolest people in your life.

Cheers to 50 years of Miller Lite, the great tasting light beer for people who love beer since 1975 now's a perfect time to celebrate legendary stories with friends family and a great tasting light beer it's miller time miller light great taste 96 calories go to miller light.com slash dan to find delivery options near you or Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.