The Big Suey: Jewdonis Haslem

43m
"I was a chartered member of the Chamillitary."

If you think Jeremy sucks, this hour's for you. The Shipping Container discusses Brad Kaaya at Bar Mitzvahs, Tom Cruise's scheduling conflict, and one-hit wonders.
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Transcript

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Welcome to the Big Sue,

presented by DraftKings.

Why are you listening to this show?

It's a podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebetard podcast.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys.

I've done it.

And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

If you think this episode is presented by DraftKings, DraftKings, the crown is yours.

You know, I don't have to be here.

You're right, because

it's a great Jeremy.

What's so funny there, Chuckles?

What's going on?

If you think that was funny,

if you think Chris doesn't do a good Jeremy, you're crazy.

Why do you have to make Jeremy feel bad?

It's Friday.

Everyone should feel really great.

It's almost the weekend.

That sound couldn't make me happier.

You don't know my role here?

Look.

Don't make Jeremy sad.

I'm never going to have pity for anyone around here.

Wow.

I follow this.

No matter the scenario.

That's wild.

I go into the Stugats category of, I've had it bad.

All right.

Yeah, what Jeremy's getting is please.

Oh, you mean on the show?

Yeah.

Okay, cool.

I was thinking personally.

Oh, no.

People go through stuff.

No, no, no.

Just on air.

Just on the show.

So because you feel bad for Jeremy.

My name was Fat Chris for like five years.

You did that to yourself.

Well, just diet.

Which part?

I didn't come up with the name.

I just like things.

So because you were made to feel terrible for a long time on this show.

No, that's why that's the culture around it.

It's someone else's turn.

Yeah,

it starts with Dan, though.

It starts with Dan.

Gotcha.

He was mean to Stu.

You got

it trickles down.

Gotcha.

And how long should this last with Jeremy?

Is this like until someone else gets it?

Well, it's been three years.

So he's only been getting it bad for like eight months, though.

What?

Before, we just didn't like you.

But the difference with Jeremy is, it's not just Dan giving him shit, it's all of us.

Oh, yeah, everyone, since everyone's real nice to me all the time.

Well, now we aren't.

It's not making us about you.

It's about how much Jeremy sucks.

Yeah.

If you think Jeremy sucks.

All right, go ahead.

I'm just glad I'm going to be able to sleep tonight, man.

Oh, I got this bowling weight lifted off my shoulders.

Good for you.

I feel good about knowing how to score bowling.

This is a two Americas thing.

I'm telling you, I talked to my dad on the phone yesterday.

I told him the thing in like three seconds.

He's like 70.

Like, people that are like old school bowlers, like, we're just not in that world.

Like, they can look at it and be like, yeah, boom, boom, boom.

How is this a two Americas?

Because there's bowling people and there's non-bowling people in this room.

I think that's two Americas.

No, he's right.

He's right.

No, I think it's appropriation over here.

America and like America Samoa is just like a smaller chunk.

I think he's just breaking it down by age.

It's like America and America Senior.

I don't know if I have the bandwidth to learn what the scoring is.

That's why it's automated.

I'm just there to slam some Miller lights, have a good time with my friends.

That's what we do.

Try not to spill beer from that beer tower.

I love that beer tower.

Very thin, though.

A fun thing in bowling is the five pin, I believe it is.

It's the dead, it's not the head pin.

I'll take your word for it.

But it's the dead center pin in the back row.

So if you ever throw a first ball.

Because the back row has five pins.

Is that the JFK pin or no?

It's the dead center back row pin.

It might not be the five pin, but whatever that pin is.

You're talking with my paper.

Oh, no, it doesn't have five pins.

Oh, yeah, I think it has four.

Okay.

Five Five or make it 50 pins.

Then it's the second row.

It's a dead center pin, but it's not the third cinema.

That's the third row.

I'm sorry.

I apologize.

Yeah, you guys see.

Have you ever

to America's thing?

I'm actually not, but and whenever there's one pin and it's dead center, but it's not the head pin, everyone puts your arm up.

And if you miss that pin, whoever has their arm up, you got to buy them all drinks.

What?

Is that right?

Yeah, it's like a drinking game.

Okay.

So if like my team, like bumpers or no bumpers?

No.

Tony around.

I told you bumpers on.

Nice.

I believe Greg Cody the other day had to buy like 20 drinks for people people because he had the center pin and you look back, you don't look back.

When you have that pin, you know there's everyone's got their hands up behind you.

There's bumps at Burbank.

If you look back.

Oh, yeah, there's bumps there.

Yeah, a ton.

And it's right next to Aflanties now.

Walking distance.

Has your father ever bowled a perfect game?

No.

Has he ever come close?

I've come close.

What does that mean close?

I got once I had an open first frame and then I got.

That's not close at all.

It was over.

Right, it was over.

That's not close at all.

I bowled a 279.

I bowled 11 straight.

You never had the chance.

I had to have a pressure to have a perfect game.

Okay, but if you look at the game afterwards, I bowled all the straight.

I was making the same argument that all the pressure was off.

That's why I did so well.

I'm not saying, but how is that not close?

Not only were you 279.

Not only were you not close, you couldn't have been further.

I bowled a 279.

Let me ask you something.

This is a simple question, all right?

Everybody, take it easy.

11 straight.

Look, I get why I wasn't.

Take it easy.

Let me ask any straight straight.

Stop being so defensive.

Let me ask you something.

This is going to be really simple, Chris.

All right.

In order to bowl a perfect game, do you have to get a strike on the first frame?

Yes or no?

Yes.

Did you get a strike on that first frame?

No.

You never had a chance.

All right.

All right.

Let's play it.

Now let's play my game.

I just played your game.

Ask me if I've ever bowled 11 straight strikes.

Okay, yeah.

Have you ever bowled 11 straight strikes?

It's still not a perfect game.

Cool.

Because you missed on the first one.

Cool.

You were never close to a perfect game.

Bowlers around, like, I, people come up up to me, you're the guy that did the 11 straight after the open frame.

Because, like, that's dumb.

Because it's honestly dumb to do.

But did any of them say to you, are you the guy that almost bowled the 300?

No, no, they're not.

Because you didn't almost bowl 300.

I'm telling you.

You couldn't have been further.

This is like a pitcher saying he almost had a perfect game, but he walked the leadoff guy.

That's a great example.

Do you think David Wells gets carried off by his teammates if in the very first head bat he gives up like a double?

If a pitcher gives up a hit to start the game.

If a pitcher gives up a hit.

Yeah, that's fair.

And then the rest of of the game, all outs, 26 straight, 27 straight outs from that point on, that's a damn good game out.

It does a near-perfect game.

It's a quality sport.

That's a near-perfect game.

Have you ever pitched a perfect game?

He will say no.

End of conversation.

Scott Vimp, that would be his one big thing.

It does.

He'd be like, this pitcher in Minnesota.

Give up a hit and then had a perfect game out.

I don't think that would be Scott Vimpelt's one thing.

He would be like, he's so close to a perfect game.

No.

He gave up a quick

single in the first inning.

Galaraga was close to a perfect game yeah that's being close to a perfect game that's screwed i see what you guys are doing that's annoying it's annoying me of course it is you want to be the guy who almost bits uh you know how impressive like you guys should be also wow you bowled 11 straight strikes that is impressive like that is thank you no bumpers right no bumpers wow that is impressive just unfortunately A perfect game was never in play.

Never in play.

Which is why I didn't feel the pressure.

Like, I'm on the eighth frame.

I'm like, feeling like, you know, because I've gotten seven straight before.

In that eighth frame, my mind's racing.

I'm like, oh, my God, I got a perfect game.

Everyone's watching me.

Like, that's why you blow it because you get nervous.

I didn't have that problem.

I acknowledge that.

But what I did, very impressive.

That's like saying, like, Shaq saying you hit 10 straight threes in practice.

Couldn't be further.

It's not even close.

It wasn't practice where I did it.

It was actually in the game.

But it didn't really matter.

Damn it.

On with the show.

It's much easier if you just go there and slam some beers and wait for the turkey.

And also, for whatever reason, I put my hand in that fan because I think it helps.

I was going to say, it's one of the things I do every time.

I have no idea why.

I don't know if people ever use that thing.

Yeah, it makes your hands twice.

But you got to do it.

You do it right before you pick up your ball.

Yeah.

Sweaty hands.

My hand drops.

One thing I do in bowling, because I just want to feel like I'm cool.

Anytime I throw a ball and I like barely miss something, I have no, I'm more of a feel guy.

I don't know the mechanics.

Like I don't really know, oh, I let my arm.

Like I'll always turn around and like do a motion to like, oh, I missed it.

Just got a little, I have, I'm not doing anything.

Like I want people behind me to think he's trying to fix whatever he's working on there.

Or like a practice swing?

Like I'll go after I bowl a ball, like look at the lane and be like, did I, where was I off?

Do you ever do the Steph Curry no-look when you know you got a strike and just turn around?

Yeah, yeah, you got to do that.

You got to do that.

I had a season in Glades Corey League where I didn't get a hit all year.

In fact, I didn't even swing the bat.

I don't like that.

It didn't stop me from like stepping out of the box occasionally and taking a couple practice acts.

Doing like the cheater bat and the batting glove thing.

You got to be patient at the plays.

That's no Mark Garcia.

Get some walks.

Every time somebody like miss hits the entire a human right, it's like, gotta go through the swing again, even though I don't really know what the difference is.

There's a couple of shots in golf that I got no shot at ever making or ever making look good.

There's a couple of those, and it's like, oh, where'd the ball go?

Let's just play on.

I'll find it.

Who's got a miller line?

But it won't stop me from taking a couple practice swings.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got to.

Where's the Miller lights?

Yeah.

50 years.

Can I tell you who's a total stud, though?

Who's as thank you?

Oh, wait.

Eudonis Haslam.

All right.

And Eudonis Haslam, I think, is turning into a big television star.

He's very good on TV.

Very.

And you know what?

He was pretty good right from the get-go.

He's on ESPN all the time now, be it NBA Today, or he'll be on GetUp, and he's doing coverage for the league.

Is it weird that I have a painting of Eudonis Haslam in my bedroom?

No.

Go on.

No.

You too?

He's wearing clothes.

Yeah, I was going to say, is he clothed?

Because then we start to venture into the weird territory.

Well, I mean, he's a better high-light owner than player.

So, UD is really good on television.

And yesterday, he was on NBA today.

All right.

And I guess, you know,

because the schedule came out yesterday.

It was NBA schedule release day.

Big day.

Very.

Big day.

Not a big day.

I go, not a big day.

Every team plays 82 games.

You know, everyone's schedule.

It's not a big day.

All all right?

They're trying to fool you, all right?

So UD is on NBA today, yesterday, and he's, you know, he's actually talking about the Atlanta Hawks and like their prospects for this coming season.

And he has a little bit of trouble with the first overall pick from last year's name.

You've got your young coin, Jalen Johnson, and

Rosh Hashanah, however you say his name.

Excuse me, I'm sorry.

Roshashi, Zachary Roshashi.

You have all these pieces.

Now, are you going to make Atlanta?

Listen, I messed up his name.

I'm sorry.

Listen, don't be mad at me.

Kirk, I took a page out your book.

Rosh Hashanah, it's a holiday.

It's the holiest of our holidays.

Judanis Haslam.

It's our new year.

And Roshit, Rosh Hashanah, have you said his name?

Excuse me, I'm sorry.

That's a guy who spent a lot of time in South Florida around a lot of Jewish people.

Well, he had that as his backup.

Like, if I forget to say, I'm going to say that, and then he tried to correct it.

Rosh Hashanah, have you said it?

Not better.

You know what I think it was?

Play it again, real quick.

And Rasha, Rosh Hashanah, have you say his name?

Excuse me, I'm sorry.

I feel like as it was coming out of his mouth, he thought it was funny, which it is, by the way.

It's very funny.

And then for like a split second, it sounds like, oh, wait, I hope no one gets mad at me.

Yeah.

Because everyone gets mad at everything, you know.

Because you can hear me apologize.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to go ahead.

And Rasha, Rosh Hashanah, have you say his name?

Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Did I just do something?

That's like when Jeremy said a slur.

There was a split second there where you, Donnis thought, did I just get canceled?

Right, right.

And you don't have to be sorry there because it's a really funny thing to say.

Just like Jeremy.

You didn't have to be sorry.

It was an accident.

Rosh Hashanah, however, you say his name.

Excuse me, I'm sorry.

Do you guys remember when Borkley very awkwardly said,

I don't say that word, so just spelled J-E-W?

It was one of the wildest things.

I don't remember that.

You don't remember all of that.

Do we have that sound?

He's like spelled out J-E-W.

He's like, I don't say that word.

That's definitely a word that people, if they don't know that it's not bad, are just like, wait a second, can I say that?

Jew?

It just comes off aggressive.

The hard W.

Saying that you won't say it

is offensive.

Yes, exactly.

Exactly.

It makes me feel like it's like almost more anti-Semitic to not know that you can say Jew.

I think it is.

I think not being willing to say it is anti-Semitic.

I'm pretty sure there's a joke somewhere in some sitcom about people not being able to say the word Mexican.

And it's just like, what do you mean?

What What was Barkley?

Like, was he talking about, was it Miles Leonard?

Is that where this was?

I don't know.

This is years ago, I think.

Tony, tell us all about what happened.

Uh, buddy, we're gonna look it up right now, but I'll tell you what, Rosh Hashanah, good holiday.

Oh, very good.

Good food.

Dip some apples and honey.

You know what I'm talking about.

I like that.

That's right.

Sweet New Year, Israel.

Ah, that's what it is.

That's what it is.

Mazzo.

Look at you.

Look at you.

I've been to a bar mitzvah.

A, ah, ah, ah, bar mitzvah.

I've been to one.

I went to two bot mitzvahs, but they were twins.

Bots called a Benet.

Oh, really?

That sounds delicious.

I went to a Benete.

That was the week of the.

That's just because it was two people at the same time?

That's called.

Multiple.

Multiple.

Yes.

And like Israel said, Israel has been to one Brit.

He's been to A Bris.

A Bris.

It was my son.

And he was so traumatized, he has

no intention of ever attending another.

Not really traumatized as much as, like, I just stood in the back

of it and didn't say anything.

Like, did I see when?

Uh, what's the guy who does it?

What's he called?

The moil.

The moil.

I did see when the moil, I think, lifted up like a white like piece of cloth, and there was a little blood on it.

And I was like, okay, yeah, you think that's when it happened.

Bam, right there.

You know, the one Barmutzu that I did go to, incredible Barmitzu, the Goldsteins, by the way, love them.

Brad Kaya was there.

Me and Brad Kaye.

Really?

Yeah.

And what was I like?

Hey, Brad Kaylee, what are you doing here?

Big UM family.

Sam pitched for the University of Miami.

Big yeah.

Abrams.

Sam Abrams and the boys, yeah.

Had a huge closing the door of, I want to say it was Appalachian State

back in the Omaha days of, I want to say 2013, maybe, 2014.

Long story short, his younger brother Dylan went to have this bar mitzvah.

Brad Kaya showed up.

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Hey, it's Jeremy here.

I don't know if you've noticed this about me, but I'm not quite someone who loves confrontation or fighting.

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Don Lebatard.

I went in the margins.

I'm like, you're money ball of sex?

I'm basically Scott Hatterberg.

A lot of

walks, but I'm on base.

When it comes to sex, a lot of fouls.

Other dudes, they can be Giambi.

You know your role you play with?

I know my role.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

All right, guys.

Very big weekend.

UFC 319 in Chicago.

Hamza Chimaev takes on the champion Drikes Duplessis for the middleweight division.

What did you just say?

Which one?

All of them.

Hamza Chimaev?

Not Arab.

My son loves the African.

Loves the air fighters.

Not Arab.

Wait, is he like

Turkestan?

He's Swedish from Via Chechnya.

We're way off.

Swedish, Via Chechnya.

But not the point.

The point is, he's taking on South African

champion Dricus Duplica.

I love DDP.

I love DDP and DDP plus juice.

Plus juice on DK.

Go find it right now.

Anyways, the MMA Hangout Boys presented by Boost Mobile live at the Dead Flamingo.

Exactly.

Give it to him one more time, Mike.

Bam!

Bam.

All right.

Dead Flamingo, 10 p.m.

Everywhere, YouTube, Twitch, Twitter, all the different places that you can see us.

We'll be hanging out, starting live.

Dead Flamingo, 8th Street, 10 p.m.

Massive, massive, massive main event.

Corey Zaslow is going to be very excited watching live because he will be 21.

Exactly right.

That's what I was going to say.

Like, so we're sure here, like, this is an over 21 situation.

I mean, I, to be honest, they had to remind me that it was a bar because now once you're 21, you don't really think of, hey, I can't can't be here under 21.

Like, I'm just, I live and I'm walking into this establishment.

And, I mean, if, you know, maybe I know the owner, maybe we can make something.

Just because you know the owner, the owner isn't putting his liquor license on the line because he knows Tony.

That's right.

You know, so if it's a 21-up thing, then he's talent, though.

But he can tune in on YouTube.

Exactly right.

Or Twitch.

The kids love Twitch.

And feel like he's a part of the party.

He will.

He totally wanted to come.

Like, I would have brought him if he was allowed in.

So

a couple years.

Yeah.

We will watch your stream.

Brad Kaya to Bar Mitzvah.

Brad Kaya.

That's not bad.

It's a joke for the Jews in the audience.

Former U.M.

quarterback.

Correct.

The type of quarterback that would fight, would you say?

No, not really a fighting quarterback.

Do they still make those types of quarterbacks?

We got one.

Who?

In Atlanta?

Michael Pennix Jr.

Fighter.

Zaz.

Let me ask you a question.

Go on.

Do you like quarterbacks to fight, or do you want your quarterback to be in the back, not fighting?

Like, I don't want my quarterback to be a sissy.

Do you want your quarterback to fight?

That's what I'm asking.

I don't want your quarterback to be Sergei Bobrovsky standing in the corner.

No, don't want my quarterback seeing everybody else go to the scrum and you not being in that scrum.

Even if you're faking being in the scrum, I need you in the scrum.

Yeah, I want my quarterback to be.

Michael Penix in the scrum.

Yeah.

So if he played for Colorado, he'd get the D.

He'd get the D for dog.

You know, well, Baker Mayfield, just like dog.

NFC South, dog to beat.

Yes, for you.

By the way, I saw it.

It finally happened.

Or it happened initially.

No, it was an Atlanta local broadcast, and they put up Michael Penis Jr.

I saw that.

Only a matter of time.

I just assume this is AI having fun.

I just assume if it's that simple to Photoshop, then it's real, that somebody just didn't do the simple Photoshop.

I'm like, hey, look how funny.

If it's so uncreative, that means it's real, right?

And it could have been done like the first time we ever saw him.

Yeah.

And then it's like, oh.

And it's early enough.

It's like, oh, he's just about to tap a season.

Okay, here's the penis.

I could believe that as an autocorrect, too.

Yeah, 100%.

But you got to read those things if you're on television.

My point being, if you look around the quarterbacks in the league that you know are not fighters, right?

Kirk Cousins in Atlanta, not a fighter.

Not a fighter.

The S and the X right next to each other on the keyboard, too.

Yeah.

They are actually, now I'm looking at it.

Right underneath.

Trevor Lawrence.

Not a fighter.

No.

Daniel Jones, pacifist.

No, no, no.

You think maybe the hospital screwed up and he was going to be penis?

No.

No, no, that's fast.

I don't really see that's her name alone.

Who's the quarterback that's going to run over there, but just for show?

Like, Because there's no interest.

Yeah, that's a good one.

That's

not a fighter.

Oh, but he's Samoan.

He's off guy.

But he wants you to think he's getting involved.

100%.

He'll go over there and he'll look for the biggest guy to immediately run behind as if he was being held back.

If you had to pick one quarterback in the league who is a fighter, I think the answer is pretty obvious.

Is it the dude at Will Levis?

No.

Oh, come on.

Will Levis.

Did you see that ding

he had going on the back of his shoulder?

He had like a little alien popping out of his arm for like a long time.

That was wild.

It was like a bone, right?

His injury was wild.

I know who will make the biggest show of it and who will like rile up his teammates the most, and that's Baker.

But he's smaller.

And like in terms of actually throwing hands,

I don't know if he's that guy exactly, but in terms of having his teammates back and like he'll start the fights is a Baker for me.

Lamar Jackson is not shying away from a fight, but his teammates will grow.

Right, right.

He's like way too important.

Stay away.

I feel like it's Josh Allen.

Josh Allen looks like he tries to mix it up.

I go Mac Jones.

And Josh Allen will be like wasting a lot of time talking to the referee.

Josh Allen is a big-time flopper.

Okay.

Stafford.

Stafford?

He's got a dog in him.

He's got a dog in him.

Stafford doesn't get out of the way, but he won't go to it.

If you're fighting around him, he might be like, you don't want to mess with this, but he's not going to run away from the fight.

I love watching old man Stafford because old man Stafford talks that shit.

Yeah.

Yeah, I love his approach to the game he's he's gotten better with age you think barrett goff mixes it up no i think he talks yeah no dan he's he's taken on the personality of dan campbell a little bit yeah i think he would

but it's it's baker baker's the dog yeah baker i i baker's a good one bigger's a good one uh mike you were at cane's practice yesterday can you give us any state secrets yes state secrets now This is not NDA territory.

Is this closed?

Or open property?

This one was closed.

Okay.

So I'm not going to give you specifics.

But I will speak to some storylines that you may have heard going into camp, and

I will echo some of these narratives.

Carson Beck still has zip.

He's, and that lower body put together.

Emer Williams looks, I have way more faith in him now that he's number eight.

Number 17 wasn't doing anything for me.

He's got some dog in him, too.

I can see why the teammates respond to Emery, and I know Kane stands.

They have their formed opinions.

I will remind them that Emery Williams does have a win under against Clemson under his belt.

He does have some dog-like qualities.

But the wide receiver position is one that most people are watching.

I will say that Miami is two freshmen that look to be making an impact early on.

Malachi Toney is getting a lot of fanfare.

I believe Florida High School Player of the Year, Jeremy, helped me out there.

Malachi Toney,

one of those really talented players that even though he came in as a receiver, his high school team made him play quarterback because we got to have this guy touch the ball every play.

That's our only chance to win.

Malachi Toney seems to

be primed for a season that, if I had to make a bold prediction right now, I'd say Malachi Tony leads this team in receiving yards.

He's right.

Player of the year, last year.

But Josh Moore is a guy that a lot of Hurricanes fans got excited about because

his tape was unbelievable and he looks the part.

And I will say, since the start of Fall Camp to right now, Josh Moore has really come on lately.

And in terms of body type, a lot of people like to compare him to Andre Johnson.

I'm not, he is not Andre Johnson.

Andre Johnson is a pro football hall of famer.

I mean, get that right there.

But Andre Johnson, it took him a minute here at the University of Miami.

Could not catch a cold early on.

Really?

Yeah, you know, wrist.

Like he was catching with wrist early on.

Took him a while to develop that trait.

And then in the NFL, he became a really dependable receiver.

So it shows you that if you work at your craft, you can actually get that part down.

But Josh Moore, in terms of body type and contributions, that just looks like they were kind of built in a lab, as ready for action as a freshman wide receiver as we've had here in quite some time.

Is Jalen Hurts mixing it up?

Yeah.

I could see that.

Yeah, I could see that.

Tough guy.

Aloh, he really likes his own face.

I mean, he's wearing a helmet.

He mixes it with the helmet, though.

He doesn't take the helmet off.

He keeps the helmet on.

That's penalty of taking it off.

Well, no, in a practice, in a joint practice.

People throw that helmet off, you run after, because that's where it happened.

Michael Pennix Jr.

in one of these joint practices got into a scrum, and then all of a sudden he's in there.

All I know is that Aaron Rodgers is walking away, rolling his eyes.

Oh, for sure.

Brock Prady would get in the mix.

No, come on.

I don't think so at all.

You know who?

I miss him so much.

Tom Brady would.

Tom Brady gets involved.

Philip Rivers gets involved.

Yes, yes.

Happy Trails.

He just retired.

I thought about this the other day when Jeremy was doing his game.

Are they active or retired?

And he asked and Domican Sue, and then I looked, and Domican Sue hasn't played for three seasons.

Crazy.

But he just retired.

Retired.

Now, Phillip Rivers signed the one-day contract with the Chargers, which I think is one of the dumbest.

Oh, I like that.

It's one of the dumbest traditions in sports.

There was one dude that signed a one-day contract with the Chargers that I legit never heard of before, but apparently he's really famous on TikTok.

He and his family are really famous on TikTok.

When you say Phillip Rivers, remember, if the San Francisco 49ers did make that Super Bowl, remember they had all those injuries at the quarterback position.

Brock Purdy got injured in that NFC championship against the Philadelphia Eagles.

The story is that Kyle Shanahan has admitted that he would have put in a call to Phillip Rivers, and Phillip Rivers would have started that Super Bowl.

That would have been crazy.

Scenes.

But a way to finish that off.

You think Kyler Murray is mixing it up or is he running away?

He's too small.

He's running away.

He's right.

You don't think he'll jump on a pile or something just to kind of look like he's getting involved?

Too small.

Too small.

Too small.

No.

You don't know what you're talking about.

Asking questions.

So, Mike, I saw Kennedy Center Honors yesterday.

Oh, dude.

You're fired up over this, huh?

What's going on?

A lot of people nominated.

Look, I'm fired up about about a lot that's going on in this country

let me just say

let me just say i'm not i'm also not down with the the the president get involved in the arts and the the museums and all that this is like mad authoritarian behavior right that's that's my editorial on this that being said kennedy honors list is a banger yeah this could have been way worse what are the like the qualifications

what is that uh just not woke so what what are supposed to be the qualifications uh you know great legendary stuff.

And I will say that

Donald Trump did adhere to those qualifications.

So let me hear.

Kiss

is being nominated.

Not woke.

Not woke.

Gloria Gaynor.

Sylvester Stallone.

Wow.

Oh,

Rocky.

Yeah, this all could have been way worse.

But did you hear the most interesting story?

It's not who's being honored.

Gloria Gaynor.

It's, yeah, Gloria Gaynor is kind of a weird one, kind of a one-hit wonder, but I don't know enough about it.

But also, the the whole woke thing, let's just take that as a victory, right?

Yeah, the topic.

I feel like Gene Simmons has said a lot of anti-Trump stuff, I thought.

No, he was on the Celebrity Apprentice, dog.

Well, that was before, I mean, wasn't that before Trump was president?

I think part of the criteria is, were you on the Celebrity Apprentice?

Okay, all right.

Oh,

but did you hear the reports of who they didn't get?

No.

Like, like they declined?

Tom Cruise.

Wow.

Tom Cruise, now,

he did the very political excuse of scheduling conflict.

Of course.

That's the way that you bow out of this gracefully, but Tom Cruise was wise enough to not make it work with his schedule.

Yeah, because Tom Cruise could have sent in a recorded video if he really wanted to, but yeah, schedule.

I genuinely thought we were going to get Kid Rock being honored at the Kennedy Centers, and that may be next year.

But I got to say, not a terrible launch for this thing in terms of, you know,

people that are actually qualified for it.

Well, why was it a good move for Cruz not to be involved when like slice alone is doing it well slice alone is a part of uh you know trump's committee to take the hollywood back did he did he agree to that because trump put out a fitness committee and nobody seems to know about it yeah but he was uh in this uh committee with uh john voigt and others ah okay enough slice alone also conservative by by all accounts but i think we could say the same thing about tua too and tua's like i don't know anything about this committee yeah i don't i don't think anyone's on that committee that i hate

which is uh is matthew Kachuk on this committee or not?

I've seen that being reported.

Really?

I've seen that Matthew Kachuk and Wayne Gretzky, and it seems like I didn't see them at the press conference.

I don't know about that.

Maybe they don't know either.

Well, I'm asking the host of the hockey show.

Roy's like, I just want it not to be true.

I don't want it to be true, but it sounds like it is.

I mean, Roy, you like wrestling.

Triple H is definitely on that committee.

He was standing right next to the president.

I got to tell you, I haven't seen a wrestling show in

probably a decade.

Not even Dynamite?

No.

Wow.

All right, quick question.

Quick question.

What is this committee supposed to do?

Keep us fit?

Physical fitness.

Were you not paying attention?

Yeah, well, I just, I mean, it used to be like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Just show me a fit guy and say, go do it.

And I would do it.

Like, I don't need a committee of people to tell me these things, especially if you look to our youth these days.

Come on.

I like the Presidential Fitness Challenge, and it went away for, I guess, we didn't like the competitive aspects of this.

I didn't think it was so bad.

I like that that's back.

Now,

the committee is wild to me, but I mean,

you get a patch, you get to push yourself physically, and good news, they did away with the stretching part of it.

Hmm, that's a big win.

Why is that good news?

Because everyone struggled with a stretch.

That was a tough one.

That one hurt.

And it was like the big, like cement blue block, and you had to set a ha.

And they're like, no, you got to go further.

I can't.

That's all I got.

Oh, I hated that.

Yeah, everyone did.

Yeah, they should get rid of things that everyone hates.

Yes, plastic straws.

Immigrants.

I thought more people had scoliosis growing up because they had to have that test all the time when I was in school.

I was like, that's just.

But didn't they line everybody up?

And they're like, all right, you go to the nurse's office.

And you're like, what am I doing?

I'm touching my toes.

What?

What?

And then it became a competition when they would pinch the fat.

You know, they find out how much fat you got.

Those tongs.

Yeah, you remember what you were?

I hate that thing.

No.

And I remember, I also thought I was going to catch fire a lot as a kid because like stop, drop, and roll was such a constant thing.

That was a big thing.

Right?

People have forgotten about stop, drop, and roll.

Right.

We have to remind them.

If you're on fire.

Well, it's hard to concentrate.

If you're on fire, it's hard to concentrate.

All right, let me stop.

Drop.

No, I want this fire to stop.

I don't want myself to stop.

No, you got to stop because if you keep running around like you're on fire, then you're going to get something else caught on fire.

Like a stunt man.

Yeah.

I actually read where burning to death, not as painful as it sounds.

Get out of here.

It's definitely the worst.

Initially, I think your nerve endings just kind of get shot and then you just calmly just go.

I think you're famously wrong.

Like you say, eventually your nerves get shot.

That eventually is doing a lot.

Yeah, that eventually takes a while.

Sooner or later.

And that time period that

is a while really hurts.

I think I would.

Eventually you don't feel anything, but in that time between feeling something and not feeling something, I bet that stinks.

Top three worst ways to die.

Here we go.

Number three, burning alive.

Number two, being eaten alive.

Well, if you just go for my neck quickly, I might rather have that.

But what if they don't?

Yeah, that's true.

What if they're

like intestines and you're just like, this is my life now?

And number one has to be drowning.

Chatting's not so bad because eventually the water just fills your lungs and you pass out.

Because eventually you go unconscious.

He's right about that.

But the nerve endings are still there.

It was three minutes.

Jake Cutler fighting.

Yeah.

Oh, and future Kennedy Center

or athlete

performance, whatever, the commander.

On the panel.

How did he not make...

If I were him, I'd be pissed

hey it's mike ryan those sprinklers are starting to slowly come up on the football field time that we have with summer is dwindling i'm sure you're already doing that thing where you're going through your photo album flipping through the photos that you've taken this summer already reminiscing about the good times that you have i know i did and in many of the pictures that i went back to reminisce over i had a beautiful white canton miller light in my hand because i love making good times during the summer a miller time it's a good reminder we're losing time on this summer so why don't you share the moments that you have with a white can of Miller Light like I have, whether it's a long weekend or a full-on vacation.

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Don Lebatard.

We got a freedy heart away.

A freedy?

I was trying to read fast.

You D was on the team.

Luke Jackson, Bobby Jones, The Matrix, Sean Marion.

Stugats.

Zoe, Shax, Mush Parker, Chris Quinn,

D-Wade,

Jason Williams, Darrell, right?

I mean, stacked roster.

This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.

Tony, I see you have

your own list for us here, too, right?

Speaking of one-hit wonders.

I was thinking of one-hit wonders as I was driving in today, boys, because I heard a song that came onto my iPod, and I was like, wow.

You're still rocking an iPod, iPhone, iPod, you know, whatever.

I don't know.

I'm just worried about the Bluetooth.

We all should be, by the way, but that's not the point.

The point is, do you guys remember a little Diddy called Throw Some?

I know who you were talking about, that guy.

He's been in the news.

Let me rephrase that.

Sorry, I can't.

No Diddy, by the way.

Do you guys remember Throw Some D's on it?

Rich Boy.

Rich Boy.

Yeah.

How's that go?

Throw some D's on it.

Oh, that one.

Yeah.

Roy.

Surprising.

Why would that be surprising?

I was going to do the whole like intro, too.

Audio, Joe, you played it.

No money.

Hey,

Rich Boy, this one, babe.

So long story short, I was thinking of other things from the early 2000s that were one-hit wonders, and I was like, man, whatever happened to those guys?

And you realize they never made one other song.

Obviously, it's like all hip-hop.

Like Gloria Gaynor.

Like Gloria Gaynor, exactly right.

If that's on the touch tunes, there's no way I'm not saying throw some D's on that.

All right, so if

you throw some D's on that, and I don't like to say that word.

I know you don't historically.

but I will throw D's on it.

In context,

it's a play-on for me.

Yeah, because I'm not calling someone a B.

Right, it's throw some D's on that.

Throw some D's on that.

It's a car.

Yeah, right, right, right.

Is it a feeling?

That's exactly right.

Throw some D's on that.

Do you guys remember A Bay Bay?

Yeah.

Hurricane Chris.

Hurricane Craig.

Dude, you're good.

Hurricane Chris.

I never knew who sang that song or performed it.

How about this is why I'm hot.

This is why I'm hot.

Dude, you're good.

Do you have my list?

Wait, what's No, that's young Jock.

That's young Jock.

That was when Pat Riley was out there.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

The pleated pants.

What a type.

That was what?

Wasn't it on Madden?

That was on Madden, right?

Mimes.

Yeah, Mims is Whim Hot, possibly, yeah.

Also, Sleeper and Fantasy Drafts.

Yeah.

Marvin Mims, yeah.

I actually really like them.

Yep, MIYT.

M-I-Y-T.

All right, you got me.

Dem franchise boys.

Ah!

Come on!

Are they just franchise boys?

And you said Dem to sound cool or no, no, no, it's Dem franchise boys.

If you want to look it up, is he?

Dem franchise boys.

Yeah, I remember as soon as you said it, I was like, ah, Dem franchise boys.

Yeah, exactly.

Thank you.

How about this one?

Everybody in the club getting tipsy.

Oh, yeah.

This is Jaquan.

Dude, hey, this guy is.

I like that one.

That was my wheelhouse right there.

Zaz, of the ones that we've done, do you remember?

Do you have a good idea of the song being played?

Just that one that you just mentioned.

Everybody's in the club getting tipsy.

Okay.

That one whispering in this era.

No, in my YT.

You don't remember YT?

Man, this is a great list.

I don't know that song.

Okay.

How about bump, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

Shake Shake that love and dabbing.

D4L.

Oh, I thought it was true affection by the blow.

Hipsters got that one.

That one plays great at the Vagabond.

Okay, yes, being burned alive is agonizing.

Okay.

While the pain may not persist throughout the entire process of death, the initial experience of being burned alive is extremely painful.

As I said, once you get past the difficult part, take the L.

Calming.

It's like, it's an agonizing.

So it's like a cold plunge.

After the very beginning.

Exactly.

You just got to set it up.

It's like a perfect game in bowling, but you didn't get a strike on the first one.

The second you accept that very calming.

It doesn't matter how much fire.

Another great one.

Knuck if you buck by the crime mob.

Wow, I'm glad you said the artist Sam.

How was that not top five?

No, but I'm not doing five.

I just got the race.

I just got the list with me.

I'm just waiting for baby bash here.

You son of a b.

Ah, what?

You son of a baby bash had two hits.

Sugar, sugar, baby bash, next one on the list.

He had two hits.

He had two hits.

Chris, back me up on this.

What's the official fight song of the Sess of Cyclones?

Like a cyclone.

That's baby bash like a cyclone.

God, I hope so.

There's no way.

Look that up.

There's no way like a cyclone is baby bash.

Sugar, sugar, how'd you get so?

Don't point to me like you want me to take over the lyrics.

No, but I know you know that one.

Jeremy, Jeremy Bash.

Learn Tony.

It's Baby Bash.

Baby Bash.

Like a cyclone.

Wow.

Two hits.

Move your body like a cyclone.

When Manu gets an ace, we all start singing that.

Good for him, by the way.

I was on my way back from the keys on the boat on Sunday, and I was thinking of like, man, whatever happened to Baby Bash?

He had two hits.

He probably got one of those homes in the keys.

If he was a one-hit guy, no home in the keys.

But now, I'm not talking about like the fancy area, but on a canal in Islam

Yeah.

Probably.

So what's the song again that Riley was doing the dancing?

He's, you know, doing the

championship parade.

What was it?

That was young Jock.

Yeah.

I'm hot.

Yeah.

See, here it is.

Look, there it is on video.

That's Riley.

He's doing the song, right?

Jeremy, you want to call him any slurs?

If you think you're...

That's me, guys.

This is a Chris special.

He said, when I said this song out loud, he said, this was the peak of my life.

Izzy, can you back me up on this?

can i guess if you get this i don't know

how the peak of chris cody's life was if you get this i'm gonna be really pissed

does chris know what it is and afterward i need the full picture of what chris's life was when this song would show up in whenever the mid-2000s

I know I probably don't have the answer, but the answer is so funny.

That's not right for me.

You tell me which of these two nominees were the peak of your life.

Do you want to go first?

You want me to go first?

You go first.

Okay.

Now walk it out.

Now walk it out.

Now walk it out.

Now walk it out.

Now walk it out.

Back on it too, Steph.

Back on it, too, Steph.

Oh, with a dance?

All right.

That was definitely the peak of his life.

Give it to me.

My nominee was Asher Roth.

Oh.

Oh.

I thought that was going to be the next big thing.

I love college.

That party last night.

Oh, it's awful crazy.

Honestly.

That also is top five.

That's top five.

They say party, right?

I was like, was this song written for me?

How about riding?

They see me rolling.

Oh, yeah.

I know that one.

Hold on.

They don't do that to Chameleonaire.

Not a one-hit wonder.

Okay, give me the hit.

I was a charter member of the Camilitary.

He was not a one-hit wonder.

Give me the other one.

The entire album pang.

Okay, but give me the one that was Terry Man.

He probably had another hit.

Okay,

and also, he went on to host a Pimpy Ride after exhibit.

I remember that.

Didn't he do something really good with his money?

He turned like a business or something?

Never cursed.

Yeah, I remember that.

Oh, wow.

He doesn't work blue.

So you remember.

They see me roll and they hate me.

Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

Come on.

You know, I know that.

Just making sure.

Oh, there's another one, though.

There's a couple more.

There's another.

You better.

You go, go.

There's one.

Go.

No.

No, no, no.

There's another artist that better be on there.

There's...

What the hook gonna be, Murphy Lee.

Oh, what the hook gonna be.

Wasn't he like part of the Saint Lunatic?

He was, but he was was in Shake A Tail Feather.

Again, as his own thing, though, Tony.

Was what the hook gonna be?

It was a great list.

Thank you.

It was a great list.

I still got one more.

You need to put out a playlist for this list.

We should, actually.

This is a great list.

Yeah, dude.

Last year.

Okay, this one, people are going to say no, but I'm going to tell you yes, okay?

He had a song with Kanye, but it was Kanye's song, not his song.

When he put out the song, he only had one more, and that was it.

Jamie Fox.

Overnight Celebrity by Twista.

God.

Not a word.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he isn't.

This is a supporting.

I'm telling you.

I had a one-hit one.

Tony.

Give me a number.

When you actually hear it, you know exactly what's.

I don't think Tony's doing a great job.

He had Overnight Celebrity.

That's the song.

All right.

Well, then he had slow jams.

No, I already said.

It's a Kanye one.

Kanye's song that he was on.

So it can't be a song that Twista feature on?

No, it has to be his song.

Like Murphy Lee with the Hook Gon' Be is his song, not Nelly's song, not the St.

Luna Diggs, not Shake Your Tail Front that he was a part of.

I need a song that was from the artist that was a hit that was more than one of them.

Man, Kanye's line in that.

It's a great song.

A great song.

Overnight Celebrities, Az.

Do you know it?

Let me hear a little bit.

The one that you just did?

Yeah.

I don't know that song.

Slow Jams.

It says here on my hello phone,

featuring Kanye West.

It's a twister song.

Then why was it on Kanye's album?

It is a Twister song.

Man, you really twisted that one up.

You can be mean to him if you want.

Yeah.

I mean, have we done enough?

Does he know any of these songs?

Not after that joke, man.

I can't believe you didn't have The Way I Live by Baby Boy De Prince.

This

is the way I live.

Wait, is that the list?

Is the list on?

We've got a couple more Cadillac Dawn PBJ.

Okay.

Got that in Jeremy peanut butter.

Jeremy, you got something to balance this out?

Yeah, number five, Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum.

Number four, Here in Your Arms by Hello Goodbye.

Number three, Come on Eileen by Dexie's Midnight Runners.

Dude, what?

I barely know her.

Number two,

Hey There, Delilah by the Plain White Tees.

And number one, Bad Day by Daniel Powder.

Because you had a bad day.

This is my CBS list.

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Hey, it's Mike Ryan.

Those sprinklers are starting to slowly come up on the football field.

Time that we have with summer is dwindling.

I'm sure you're already doing that thing where you're going through your photo album, flipping through the photos that you've taken this summer, already reminiscing about the good times that you have.

I know I did.

And in many of the pictures that I went back to reminisce over, I had a beautiful white can of Miller Light in my hand because I love making good times during the summer a Miller time.

And it's a good reminder.

We're losing time on this summer.

So why don't you share the moments that you have with a white can of Miller Light like I have?

Whether it's a long weekend or a full-on vacation.

It is the perfect time to get the crew back together.

And since 1975, Miller Light has been the go-to way to stock the cooler and celebrate those moments.

This year marks 50 years of Miller time.

50 years of great taste, great friends, and unforgettable memories.

Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, it delivers rich, balanced hoffey note flavor and that golden color that just hits different.

Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Go to millerlight.com/slash stand to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

Cheers to 50 years of Miller time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.