Local Hour: Honolulu Izzy Covers a New Team
Tony is inching closer to having a chance to move into 1st place for Best Prediction In Show History, and, uh, should we talk Dolphins football?
Today's cast: Mike, Izzy, Chris, Jeremy, Roy, and Tony.
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Transcript
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This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stoogats Podcast.
He's gone.
It's all right.
You can stop complaining.
Happy Friday, everybody.
David Sampson's not here.
I am.
Izzy is.
Tony's here.
I thought this was a really good day.
I thought he was talking about somebody totally different, but no, we're just talking about in-house.
Gotcha.
Jeremy's here.
Roy's here.
Chris Cody's here.
Nothing says football is here, quite like one leg pointing in one direction and a pinky pointing in another.
Anthony Richardson not doing anything to dispel the narrative surrounding his health and fitness.
And it looks like Danny Dimes may get some playing time earlier than we thought.
I know it's weird for me to start a show that's based in Miami with Colts talk, but the Miami Dolphins opened the season with the Indianapolis Colts, and now you may have a different quarterback.
And Anthony Richardson was a Gator, so, you know, it's Florida.
Also, I loved the headline so much on ESPN's stack there where it said, Anthony Richardson dislocates finger on big sack.
And I was like, what?
Do tell.
First of all, I thought.
Did that ever happen to you?
No, I didn't know you had bones down there.
You do have that bad finger, though.
I feel like you get a lot of scared.
Where'd you get that finger injury?
This happened just playing flag football.
I don't even know if it even looks that in the big sack uh it was on a flag pull of some sort because i i just took off the uh the my uh glove and it was just pointing sideways kind of like that
that's kind of gross you're showing the picture right now on our video screen and i don't like it uh all right so i've only seen the still but i was listening to the big dog joe rose today
it was a yeah fm big news we've we've come right back around
90 guys yeah trying again bro
i drove in today it was 45 minutes of hollywood being like hey joe they can hear you in Naples.
And he was like,
it was great.
Good morning over there.
It was great.
So now they're on 1043 The Shark?
But not the Shark.
That's right.
It's QAM.
You remember when
they took us off the shark and they didn't tell us as a legacy show that helped keep the station alive?
But now it's QAM, but it's on 1043.
You guys sounded so different on FM.
It's like a whole different group of people.
That's how I felt about the big dog this morning.
Yeah.
Well, it was great to hear an AM lifer explain in the year 2025: guys, this FM signal, game changer.
Everything clear.
Hey, Joe, they hear you in Vero Beach.
Hey, how are you doing up?
Vero!
Vero Beach.
I got to tell you, this is nutty.
I loved every single second of it, but Big Dog told me that Anthony Richardson, that hit came from the front.
You got to see that.
You got to be better than that, kid.
This didn't come from the side.
It came from the front.
Now, I didn't see the play, but I trusted Big Dog with my life.
So it looks like Danny Dimes is going to get some earlier playing time than, well, I mean, let's be real.
We all thought he was going to get earlier playing time.
Well, that was my first thought was immediately thinking, hey, Tony told you you can go and bet on Daniel Jones for MVP.
It's almost a sure thing the way that he was talking about it.
And hey,
before the season plus 20,000 starts.
We just
quite elude from getting
QB1 reps.
What's the first step, though?
Very true.
Him being out of the way, right?
I also put a little quid on Teddy Bridgewater.
I saw that he signed with the Bucs, and he might just be two injuries away from getting an MVP.
Hang on a second.
Hang on a second.
Because
if Daniel Jones wins the MVP this season, Tony has now taken over Amin's spot as greatest prediction in the entire show.
Because if we remember, he had the Geno Smith saying, almost specifically giving him exact numbers for the season, and everybody's like, well, that's crazy.
And he almost hit those numbers
to the number.
And now we've got Daniel Jones as an MVP, and it's starting.
It's starting.
The first step is
Anthony Richardson out of the way.
All of a sudden, Daniel Jones comes in, starts looking good, starts building a little bit of momentum.
All of a sudden, Shane Steichen and them boys start putting some wins together.
Danny Dimes is the reason why, all of a sudden.
These are my favorite kind of preseason prop bets, though.
Like, I'm down to go around the room.
20,000 to one.
Who has this type of prop bet for me?
Give me something.
Did you not listen to what he just said?
Did you not listen to what he said?
Didn't you say Chop Robinson might lead the league in sacks?
Yeah, I, well, like Cleveland Analytics.
He's big on Chop Robinson.
He's like, this is a good thing.
How about Tony Analytics?
Did you hear what you did?
It could apply to literally anyone in the league.
But the problem is the one that I started on has the momentum.
I was so in on this.
What happened when Saquon Barkley left the Giants?
The dude turned into the greatest running back in the NFL.
So now Danny Dimes gets his opportunity with the Colts.
I don't know, man.
Dude might be hurdling people ass first next year.
Like that's the type of shit that might happen
if Daniel Jones, if he's going to be MVP, he's got to do some crazy stuff.
All right, let me tell you what you did, Tony.
This is like a word-for-word reenactment to the best of my ability.
Baker Mayfield, undersized, could get hurt.
Kyle Trask, we don't know too much about him.
Right?
Unproven commodity in the NFL.
Boom.
All of a sudden, Teddy Bridgewater, veteran presence with a talented team around him, they make a deep run.
Yeah.
Teddy Bridgewater, legend.
MVP.
I literally forgot that.
Oh, Todd Bowles and them boys.
That's the other part that I need to add that.
Todd Bowles and them boys.
There you go, MVP.
You could literally do that about anybody.
It's quite the leap.
Yeah, the thing is, Baker's not hurt.
Anthony Richardson is for an indefinite amount of time.
So like you're theoretical, yes, for sure, that could possibly one day maybe happen.
Have you?
But mine started yesterday.
Right, but baked into this whole premise is that it's Daniel Jones still.
Again, you never know.
But But it's also the New York Giants.
I think that's what we're missing out on.
Brian Bayball and those boys are terrible.
And so anything that they do in New York could just be, you know, smoke and mirrors.
It could be when they go somewhere else.
They're absolutely fantastic.
And didn't they already announce that there was going to be a quarterback competition in Indianapolis before they even signed Daniel Jones, which is telling you that even if Anthony Richardson was healthy, Daniel Jones could have taken over that job.
I like you breaking down the Indianapolis Colts, and this reminds me of something that we were chatting about before the show.
You sounded like an authority right now on the New York Giants.
And the Colts.
Yeah, and the Colts.
You know,
you could cover this league, Izzy.
Maybe.
You can cover that.
You play flag football.
Should start like one team at a time.
But this is exactly.
So it actually happened with Joe Rose today.
Maybe he's just like the through line.
We were all listening to the big dog.
We were free basing the big dog today.
100%.
He was struggling a little bit.
He was clearing his throat a lot.
Yeah.
At Tequila last night.
Yeah.
He admitted that.
Yeah, really.
Yeah, he had a corporate-sponsored event.
A lot of Dolphin fans there.
How the lady stream yet?
I had to sneak out of there, though.
You know, I got to be up early.
But one of the subjects there was who's going to finish in second in the AFC East.
And it made me so sad slash angry to think that we've already cycled through to where the New England Patriots might be better than the Dolphins again.
Love the Patriots.
And they're super exciting.
Like,
they've got everyone's quarterback.
They've got the new coach.
And it's just like, wow, they might be something.
And already on the side of the road is the bleeping dolphins, and the main storyline is, will Tyreek Hill be on the team after the trade deadline?
And I hate that shit.
It just makes me, it's the opposite of what you should be in preseason football was have some sort of hope.
So what I wanted to do,
you've done this in the past a little bit when you switched off of the Browns, right?
But you didn't really pick one team yet.
No, I lean.
I picked the Shield.
I loved my free agency year, and I toured the league's final facilities, and I got to enjoy game day experiences.
I got to see Patrick Mahomes versus Tom Brady.
I got to see Aaron Rodgers versus Josh Allen.
This was all with money, by the way.
This was
well, game time.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
Unless they're not, are they on hiatus?
Still, game time.
Still, Jesus is still the industry leader.
Chris did it also.
Yeah.
Sort of.
Yeah, the Chargers.
I switched.
I have kind of settled, though.
I'm a Bucs guy
because of Baker.
I like the Bills, too.
There's also like a weird kinship between Browns fans and Bills fans, because when the Browns first left the NFL, the Bills welcomed displaced Browns fans into Ralph Wilson Stadium.
Yeah, and they always treated the Browns fans as like, you know, they commiserate over their bad football team.
So there was always something kind of there, and I really enjoyed my time there in Buffalo.
And now
my algo is already cooked.
I got all sorts of Cameron Ward
propaganda.
Yeah.
I mean, he's got to be good.
When Chris did it, he basically just took the Chargers, right?
Was there a reason for it?
It was because the Tua Justin Herbert thing.
I was like, I want that quarterback.
And then as soon as I did that, the Dolphins got really good.
So maybe this might work for you.
Well, I'm going to do it a little bit differently, right?
I'm not picking a team to just flat out be a fan of because that's going to be hard.
Like if the Dolphins surprise me and are good, then I have to have like full fandom for two different teams.
That's not the way I want to do it.
I want to do it where I'm just diving into this team almost as if I was covering it.
Like I'm going to get subscriptions to whatever local newspapers there are and anywhere in the world.
You're going to do radio hits?
Yeah, anywhere in the world.
If you want to talk about X team, you're going to think about at least giving me a call because I'm going to have like pro football rankings of every football
focus ranking.
You've got to put it in your bio.
Every single covers.
NFL team here.
I might even
reactivate my X account and just change my bio to expert.
Is he back on X?
Yeah, your X account is just solely devoted to this this team that you are covering.
Exactly.
It's a fan account.
Well, no, no, no.
No, a reporter account.
He's got bona fides.
Fan.
No, he's got bona fides.
Don't do this.
Oh, wow, guys.
The NFL news, it never stops.
According to Jordan Schultz, Colts QB Anthony Richardson, who was declared out last night with a finger injury, had x-rays come back clean and will be back on the practice field
in the coming days.
I'll tell you
how to put that photo on.
It's not a break, and you just sort of pop it right back in and splint it and let the ligament strengthen up and everything.
That's the best news.
You know what they say?
You don't lose until you sell.
We're still holding tight on those Danny Dimes MVP odds.
We'll see you on later in the season.
Big Dog was right.
This hit did come straight on.
He's got to see that.
He's a righty.
And don't protect yourself with your right hand.
Also, don't poo-poo Izzy Gutierrez just activating an X account to cover one team.
Pat McAfee show as a Steelers guy that it's at practice.
The template's already been set.
Now, I'm not sure how many of those, whatever, six-figure followers are going to unfollow me immediately when I pick my team.
But there's a little brag right there.
I can't just pick any team.
So we have to do sort of a little bit of an elimination game.
Do we want to do that now and talk about which teams are going to be eliminated?
Establish your criteria.
Okay.
Because it can't be the Dolphins.
It cannot be the Dolphins.
But we are going to randomly draw this team.
So we have to, if we're going to have a pot of teams, we've got to eliminate the Dolphins because that wouldn't be fun.
Let's give them the Jets.
Well, here, I'll eliminate the entire division.
No AFC East team.
Because, and here's the issue.
If I'm a fan of the Dolphins, have been my whole life, no matter, it sneaks up on me when they're good, no matter how much I talk about not liking them.
I can't be the Dolphins guy, and I can't be the reporter of the guy the Dolphins play twice a year.
Can't do it.
And Chris is our Dolphins guy.
Right, right, of course.
Nobody that was in the Super Bowl last year.
Too big of a team.
Yeah, you know, too many front rows.
No Chiefs.
No other teams from Florida.
You sound like me when I picked a Premier League team, and this did not work well for me.
Yeah, Yeah, let my boy Cook because we got a Bucs guy on this show, too.
No other team.
No Jags.
And Tony's a Jags guy.
Okay, there you go.
I'm a Shield guy, but yeah, Jags are back in a big way.
Backup reasons, but also just because it's too close.
It's too close to Miami.
I want to sort of spread my wings.
Fair enough.
Move around.
No Browns, no Chargers.
Already did those.
Yeah.
Okay.
No team that's too newsy slash no Aaron Rodgers.
All right.
So that eliminates the Cowboys.
Cowboys and Steelers.
And Steelers.
All right.
And then the last one,
not the worst.
You don't want to cover a bad team?
I just don't want to cover the worst team because nobody's ever going to call me.
I have the team.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, who do you think is going to be bad?
Are you saying I have a team that I think fits all these criteria?
Like, it's a perfect team.
Okay, but we're going to do it randomly, though.
Yeah, we got it randomly.
We're eliminating a lot of the teams.
I got the wheel ready.
I want to hear your team, but also I want...
This is subjective.
There have been plenty of teams in NFL history that people assume are going to be bad.
The Saints are one of those teams that everyone assumes is going to be bad.
This is the team I would want.
If I was doing the bid again of leaving the Dolphins, this is who I would choose.
I'll see if it's still on the list, which
were the bad teams, according to Nazi.
To me, the three teams, and one of them we already talked about, although he's going to be MVP, they might be good.
The Colts, the Saints, and the Panthers.
And I know the Panthers ended last season strong, but I'm not going to be fooled by it.
I've watched Young play too many times.
He's too little.
I'm not following him.
Good takes, good takes.
My man started playing better when he stopped looking so little.
Okay, well, I'm not sure what happened then.
The guy basically doubled in size.
They played well.
And remember, size is not faster.
And guys, one important thing that you need to know about the Carolina Panthers, if you're doing predictive analysis, who do they open the season with?
I don't know.
See, I don't cover it.
They opened the regular season with the Jacksonville Jaguars.
In their history, they go to the Super Bowl every time they play the Jacksonville Jaguars week one.
Wow.
I had to argue with 100%.
That is 100% success rate.
100%.
The Saints are going to be terrible, though.
But it's my team.
It's my season of covering a team.
I'm not picking the Panthers.
I'm sorry.
The Saints, yes.
And the Colts, just because of quarterback uncertainty, they might have an MVP.
They might have a terrible quarterback.
I'm confused why the team I'm about to say wasn't available.
Which criteria, like the Bengals?
Why can't you pick the Bengal?
They're very much.
I thought you said three teams.
So you've eliminated the Colts, the Saints, the Panthers, the Jets, the Patriots, the Bills, the Steelers, and the Cowboys?
I'd rather just tell you the teams that I still have alive.
All right, right.
Easier way to do that.
Yeah.
It leaves half the league.
And I also eliminated the Titans because that's Mike's team.
Yeah, like it's just the Cam Ward thing, it's it's too much.
And we have a Bucs guy, so the Bucs, yeah, right, right, right.
So I already
leaves me with, you ready?
Six team teams.
The Ravens.
The Black guy's also the Bucs guy.
I'm also the Bills guy.
The Bills guy.
No, Juju's the Bills guy.
Oh, that's right.
Well, we got
Jersey, though.
He split Jersey guys.
Multiple Bills guys.
Okay.
I mean, that's why they're called the Bills and not the Bills.
Bills, Bills, Bills.
The Ravens, the Bengals, the Texans, the Raiders, the Broncos, the Giants, the Commanders, the Bears, Packers, Vikings, Lions, Falcons, Seahawks, Rams, Cardinals, and 49.
This is easier.
A lot of good teams.
A lot of good teams.
The Lions.
It's Commanders or Bengals.
That's it.
Not the Lions.
I can have a favorite.
Like, if I were to just choose one, probably be the Commanders.
Wow.
Because they're just, I mean, toward the end of last season, that's a team that I always wanted to tune into.
You got the plus of Jaden Daniels.
But I wanted it to be random.
I wanted it to be a team that I didn't already maybe have a connection to.
And if it does end up being the Commanders, great.
It's meant to be.
Rune for it to be San Francisco.
San Francisco is also going to be fun.
That one's tough.
I don't want to be able to do it.
I have the wheel if you want to spin it.
Do you want to spin it now or do you want to spin it later?
Yeah.
Well, you did eliminate the bills.
Let's spin it a little bit later.
We could also put all the teams available in our bucket of death and you pick.
Do you want to do it that way?
I'm just saying.
We could do it.
Do you want to go old school?
Or do we want to go computer-generated?
Do it like analog.
I have the wheel.
But do we have to have all the visual teams?
The technique great?
It isn't.
All right, let's get it.
Let's get the bucket.
Let's go.
Let's do the bucket.
Tony's got the list of teams.
Just make sure those are the only ones left.
I swear, if the big Apple one's in there, I think Fuentes may have already bring them up.
Oh, wow.
Not like Tony.
Look at him.
Come on.
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Don Lebatard.
Sugar daddies.
These things, I'm telling you.
I love sugar daddies.
I like dunking your teeth.
Like you can't chew them.
They're like impossible to chew.
They are impossible to chew.
Stugats.
This is the Don Lebatard show with the Stugats.
is a big deal.
There's six.
I mean, we're just trusting that Fuentes could all the right helmets.
So funny if he's motivated by the right things.
Wizard of Oz helmet to get camera time.
Appreciate it.
Thank you for your service.
I think I got trust Fuentez.
Any Fuentes.
He's thinking
about it.
I'm a little nervous.
Give a good rummage, Izzy.
Give a good rummage.
Do we want to play a game?
You pick like two and you have to put one back.
Do we do like Bucket of Death Real?
Yeah, you get some
of that.
Bucket of Death Road.
You have to put it back.
Alright, alright, that way it's a suspense way.
Here's the first one.
Wow, right on the right.
That's a good one.
You might be going to a Super Bowl.
You got...
Oh, wait.
Here's the cons, though.
Let's talk this out.
Bad ownership.
Al Golden.
I rest my case.
Defense is bad.
Joe Burrow's hair.
That's a good.
No, that's a pro.
I get to look at Joe Burrow all year long.
How long do I have to make this decision?
What kind of clock am I on?
This is.
The end of the segment?
Dude, you put that back.
You're getting the Broncos.
Hope you know that.
Broncos a good team.
Bronco's a good team.
Bronco's a good team.
That might be a wagon.
Bronco's a good team.
Might be a wagon.
Bonics, turn the corner.
I'm putting it back.
And you get to go.
Oh, Colorado.
Whoa!
Oh,
I'll tell you why.
I'll tell you why.
I'll tell you why.
Oh, my God.
If they're really good,
they're not coming to me.
They're just going to talk about them all the time.
This is like the Tomb's.
No, he's right.
No, I get what he's saying.
I get what he's saying.
I don't know anybody else that's a Bengals guy.
Here's the thing: Dan's going to steamroll Izzy and he's going to be like, oh, we're going to talk about the Bengals, Joe Bros, me and Frank.
I'm going to have to get the time's on to talk about the best team in the league.
Even though you got me right here, yeah, right.
I kind of
give it a room.
I'm still not following this.
This is it.
Yeah, I don't know.
With all due respect, Chris, you were lost at the very beginning.
But he could pick the Ravens, and the same thing could be said.
All right, here it is.
You're stuck with this team.
I'm trying to give birth to this team right now.
Wow, wow.
Contractions.
No,
it's not supposed to be in the bench.
That was a cult.
Oh, last.
Oh, that was too bad.
You shouldn't have trusted that.
That's too bad.
Now I don't trust you at all, Fuentes.
Now, Frontis more to pick that off.
Funtes going to a team.
It's not even mine.
How is that possible?
Surrogate team.
All right.
We're back.
See if Fuentes screwed this up again.
Again!
It's a Fuente!
Oh, my God!
Tony!
Tony, you're hired.
Can we get a gentleman?
For all the integrity of this game.
I've given birth to two teams now that are not mine.
Okay, it's the Lions.
Ah, no, that's fun.
You get a good head coach.
Oh, man.
Before Fuentes Fuentes screwed this up, I heard he was in the back saying, can you tell these talentless fools to use the bucket?
And then he comes in here and screws it up.
Can I get fanfare?
Oh, okay.
Do you want to hear what the wheel would have chosen?
The stinks.
Yes, yes.
The 49ers.
Oh,
hey.
I think I'm happier with the Lions.
I can't believe you put back the Bengals.
I know, man.
That was tough.
I think it's just going to be, I don't know.
I think I was probably going to be like hypnotized.
Everyone's going to be a Lions guy.
I think so.
Yeah.
They're on a down you this year.
Remember, Ben Johnson's not there anymore.
They got a new offensive scheme.
Aaron Glenn's not there anymore.
Who is their offensive coordinator?
Who replaced Ben Johnson?
I'll look it up.
Well, I will be the expert.
Is he
starting
tomorrow?
All right.
How many lines can you name?
Let's see where you're starting and to see how, like, because we need to chart your progress.
Yeah, and we need some, like, some storylines early on, right?
So offensive coordinator, right?
Defense, too.
Like,
the story of just their return, right?
That AFC championship, the NFC championship championship game loss was a story.
I'm sorry,
first round loss.
Before that, divisional loss.
They did get hurt, but Aiden Hutchinson.
I mean,
broke his leg.
He's coming back.
Buddy's back.
A depoy candidate for sure.
Easy, relatively easy injury to return from, right?
Didn't he just break his leg?
It wasn't like a broken.
He was running like a couple months after.
He's going to be all right.
Yeah, what else do we have?
Is there going to be a decline in Jared Goff's play?
He throws a lot of picks, in fact.
You're asking us.
I took a future on him to throw the most picks.
I'm just lost today.
You want to get a guy like Goff to play that prop because his job security is pretty safe and he throws a lot of picks.
And it's an unexpected pick because people have kind of settled in on Goff's.
All right, he's a good quarterback, and that's a good team.
So you go counterculture to why would a good team throw so many interceptions?
So I think Jared Goff is a really good pick for
St.
Brown in general as a
fun story.
Strong number one.
Very strong physically.
His dad, even stronger.
Yeah, they got a lot of weapons there, there, man.
This is fun.
Jameson Williams, Breakout Canada of the Year, maybe?
You do appear to be a bandwagon jumper, though.
But we can always go back to the video.
It was a complete random trip.
So you do get a sick uniform set.
I love it.
I love the blue one.
The Hawaiian blue nash.
Honolulu.
Honolulu.
Thai food.
Thai food.
What are your biggest concerns entering the season outside of the coordinators?
Because that is the big storyline surrounding the game.
I'm going to guess the offensive line.
I feel like Jared Goff needs a good amount of time back there.
They got a good offensive line.
Right.
Penne Sewell and them boys.
Then they have a retirement Tony Back Me Up on?
Yeah, Frank Ragnow retired.
Yeah.
They'll be all right.
Tony Back Me Up on that.
Well, I'll wait for Izzy to tell me that, but we need to reshape your X account.
Okay.
Lions, Lions, Lions.
Honolulu Blue at Honolulu Izzy.
Your profile should be Lions, Tigers, and Tiggy.
Izzy Honolulu.
Just kidding, just Lions.
I don't think anyone knows how to spell Honolulu.
Great.
Honolulu.
It's very
fancy Lions.
Is that available?
Probably not.
Man, I love the Honolulu blue, though.
Like, that was probably the best color choice for me.
I don't love having to dissect that coach's.
Well, color scheme shouldn't really matter.
You're not going to get merch, right?
You're not a fan.
You should get a couple shirts on it.
You got to uphold journalism here.
You're right.
You get polo.
If you look at Merchant's exit account, it's going to be
dressed in the color of the team that I'm covering.
Yeah, understood, but you can't buy merch or anything like like that.
You're not a fan.
You have to
be impartial.
We could probably get you a press credential.
Do they play anywhere near here?
I'll check the schedule.
You're the expert.
I will be the expert.
I am just a newbie right now.
I'm just getting into this.
Well, this is establishing the floor, which you've done a very good job of.
It's only up from here.
You know what?
The only thing I maybe could have eliminated the Lions because Jamil Hill might be the Lions person.
She's a 4.9.
That's for her husband's a Lions.
My husband's a Lions guy.
Okay.
So we're good.
Yeah.
All right.
Also, a maintenance guy, apparently, according to Dan Lebatar.
Fumigator.
Yeah, fumigator.
Izzy, I think your best options are going to be
at Washington in early November.
Oh, I thought that was like your handle.
I'm like, that's the terrible guy.
No, no, no.
That's got to be taken.
I'm trying to figure out how to get you to somewhere that's not D.C.
I think I want to avoid D.C., particularly at night.
You've got Philly.
You got Philly in mid-November.
I'm pretty sure.
The federal government's taking over it.
You're all right.
I'm pretty sure the Dolphins are heading there, straight straight there after Chicago.
The Dolphins have like a two-week road trip, so you could head there next week and do a whole like preseason.
The Dolphins are playing at Lions August 16th.
And they're practicing there.
Yeah, full week of practice.
Full week of practice against the Lions after their Chicago.
The Dolphins are just touring the game.
We're going to send you up there.
I just decided.
All right.
That's a good way to get the background information in, right?
Because I have to establish myself.
So if I show up to a game, say, in like late November, early December, then everybody in the press box is going to be able to do the okay.
The best game is October 12th at Kansas City.
It's Sunday night football.
Too early in the season that involves the Chiefs, which is, you know.
I love going out to practice.
They give you the training camp roster, and you're just like looking out at the practice.
Monday night football the following week, home against Tampa Bay.
Jeremy, give me a late season game for the Lions that doesn't currently seem like a banger, but that other team is going to be surprisingly good.
And right now, it's going to surprise teams or surprise people and be a really good game.
Wow, October 5th, Lions at Bengals.
That's too early.
What a storyline.
No, the storyline's there.
That's true.
And you have Lions at Ravens two weeks prior to that.
Their early season schedule is sexier in terms of the matchups.
I would say December 14th
at Los Angeles Rams.
Oh, I love that.
Which is the thing you can go to L.A.
It's a 425 game on Fox.
I think that's the game.
We've got to lock that one in.
Is Saturday 14th?
So you're not going to cover them until week 15.
No, no, he's building up.
He's building up.
According to Chris, Metal Arc has already committed to sending me to Dolphins Lions in Detroit.
Preseason.
Next week, by the way.
How do you feel about working on holidays?
Ooh, what holiday?
Thanksgiving, famously.
I'm good.
All right.
By the way, your beat starts tonight.
You got to be all over preseason week one for the Lions.
Who's starting?
Yeah.
What can you tell me about the Atlanta Falcons?
Hmm, Michael Pennix.
And then boys.
And then boys.
Is he a junior?
Pennix Jr.?
Yes.
Is he a Pennix?
Is he a junior?
There you go.
I thought he was a dash.
Like a couple dashes.
Oh, no dash.
Just Carl Angel Towns.
The other day, someone said, Carl Anthony Towns, he swings a baseball wall.
I'm like, he's a Dominican.
What do you think?
He's a Dominican athlete.
Good baseball player.
Except I'm terrible at baseball.
I've played softball one time.
I've told this story on the show before, but I've played softball one time in my life.
I was, I want to say, 19, 20 years old in college, and they put me in left field because I looked athletic.
Yeah, you do.
And
there was a flyball and the glove up.
No, it just hit me in the chest.
It just went straight beneath the glove.
So the hand died.
What was the noise that came out when the softball hit you?
Probably like.
And then I blew out my quad trying to beat out a single, and it was gone for the rest of the season.
I like that.
In the meantime.
Hey, it's Mike Ryan.
Those sprinklers are starting to slowly come up on the football field.
Time that we have with summer is dwindling.
I'm sure you're already doing that thing where you're going through your photo album, flipping through the photos that you've taken this summer, already reminiscing about the good times that you have.
I know I did.
And in many of the pictures that I went back to reminisce over, I had a beautiful white can of Miller Light in my hand because I love making good times during the summer a Miller time.
And it's a good reminder, we're losing time on this summer.
So why don't you share the moments that you have with a white can of Miller Light like I have?
Whether it's a long weekend or a full-on vacation.
It is the perfect time to get the crew back together.
And since 1975, Miller Light has been the go-to way to stock the cooler and celebrate those moments.
This year marks 50 years of Miller time.
50 years of great taste, great friends, and unforgettable memories.
Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, it delivers rich, balanced hoffey note flavor and that golden color that just hits different.
Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.
Go to millerlight.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.
Cheers to 50 years of Miller Time.
Celebrate responsibly.
Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
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Don Lebatard.
Kiss me where you bruise me.
Taste me on that flashy part.
Really?
Yeah, really?
Taste me on that flashy part.
Taste me, not touch me.
Taste me on that flashy part.
Wow.
Wow, Rosetta.
I'm talking about the glitterous.
I'm talking about the glitters.
Yes, I am.
Now we're out here riffing.
And I'm going to try to find it if I can.
What a wonderful rendition.
This is the Don Lebatar Show with his Tugats.
So you got Atlanta Falcons NFL preseason week one.
Now, your team has already played.
So how much did you watch of the Hall of Fame game?
Zero.
Zero percent of the Hall of of Fame game.
I wasn't established on this, as we've mentioned, until Joe Rose let me know just how sad this Dolphins season is going to be.
Like if Tyreek Hill gets traded mid-season, I think I'm taking like a five-year break from the Dolphins.
Wow.
When I used to do Zaslow's show weekly, when he was on with Joy Taylor locally, like that was the peak of when the Dolphins had just sucked all the fandom from me.
I was legitimately not a fan.
And then, you know, Tyreek Hill and Chu and all this stuff happened and they got me back.
But if this year is a, is just, if they don't finish second in the AFC East this year, five years vacation.
How quickly can we onboard you as a Lions aficionado?
Because I would like to do a standard old school radio hit as we preview the NFL, you know, 32 teams, 32 days type of thing.
Let's take a look at
the preseason schedule here because it's either going to be as early as this coming Monday or it's going to have to be the following week.
Depends on what we're looking at.
We'll play it totally straight.
The audience will assume that we've just been covering all the NFL teams.
We'll present it as such.
And Izzy, you're going to be our Lions guy.
Perfect.
To give Izzy a second, is it worse if Tyreek Hill gets traded off the team or he's just not good and stays on the team?
What's worse?
I think dissecting why he's not good and breaking down whether they need to, you know, get rid of Mike McDaniel because he's got all these weapons and can't do anything with it or maybe Tua, if you say, hey, why can't he get Tyreek the ball?
I think that's a lot more fun than if he's gone and you're just like, I mean, the next logical step in conversation there is, is Jalen Waddell the number one, which I think we can still have that conversation, but is it fun?
Did we ever get around to what Jalen Waddell was last year?
Was he hurt?
I mean, he was always hurt.
Yeah, but I thought Jalen Waddell was good.
And last year, a conversation around the water cooler over here was, is Jalen Waddle better?
He's polarizing.
Like around here, there are people that think he's good, people that think he's not.
I'm trying to think, who did we, what was the debate, Tony, that we were doing the Waddle versus who last year?
Was it McLaurin?
DJ Moore.
Oh, no, it was DJ Moore versus Waddle.
That was the big debate in the office.
And after last year, DJ Moore is clearly the better receiver, right?
Well, when he was coming out of Alabama, I just remember the quote that I forget who it was, but they said, of all those Alabama receivers, right, that group of
three or four guys at least.
He's one of them.
He was called the athletic one.
And I was like, wow, that's crazy.
Of all those receivers, he's the most athletic.
They also canceled Henry Ruggs.
I was going to say, I don't see it, though.
Yeah, he would have been like the Speedster anyway.
He would have been more like the Tyreek Hill of the group.
But I don't really see it.
Like, I don't see the crazy athletic stuff.
Like, I see, was it Dante Smith?
Like, he looks like a deer out there.
He's very super light on his feet.
He's got a very specific, like,
Devontae Smith, excuse me.
When I see him,
he's not an Eagles guy.
He's not an Eagles guy.
It was like when Joe Rose said Keon Smith this morning.
He's been here for a long time.
We've got to find out if he can play football.
I'm like, I don't even know.
I'm just learning about that.
Find out.
Find out for me, Joe Rose.
Cam Smith, I believe he meant.
If you do that, is that what he meant?
The third-year corner.
All right, so there is a Kenyon.
See, is there a Keon Smith?
I know there's a Cam Smith.
You're the Dolphin guy.
Third-year corner who hasn't played.
I don't know who Keon Smith is.
Well, I'm going to be confused.
Trying to find out who everybody is.
He did have a corporate event.
You know, they should do this in the NFL.
Like, do the silhouette of the receivers and just, like, take their team away, just do the silhouette of them running routes.
See if you can tell who's who.
Wouldn't be able to tell Jalen Waddell from any.
Looks absolutely average in terms of the way he moves.
Tyreek Hill, I'd be able to tell.
Dolphins have an offensive tackle named Keon Smith.
All right.
We got to figure out how to figure out how to play ball.
He's low on the depth chart.
Devontae Smith.
That's the one.
But yeah, I just, I'm not, I want him to be great.
Like, I love Jalen Wild.
He's a big Panthers fan.
I love the dude.
I want him to be great.
So, in a sense, maybe if they do get rid of Tyreek Hill, we get to see that once and for all, but it's not going to mean the team's going to be any good.
Career lows across the board for Jalen Wanna last year.
After 3,000-yard seasons, he had 58 catches for 744 yards and two touchdowns in 15 games.
Yeah, I'm worried about your Dolphins.
Vibes also seem to be a little weird around the head coach.
It doesn't help that we were told, like, I heard Kevin Clark on part of my take the other day, and he's like, every former player that I work with at ESPN hates Mike McDaniel just as a head coach.
They hate Mike McDaniel.
Even Tua, as like a leader, it's a little bit divisive.
Like, I could see people that just go sort of blind and say, yeah, yeah, I'll follow this guy.
Like, he seems to raw raw.
And then there's probably other people that are just like, I don't know, it's just kind of empty.
Like, what is this?
It's just like rah-rah for no reason.
There's nothing to it.
And you could probably see the same thing with Mike McDaniel, right?
Like, there's probably people that are just like, okay, I get this guy, I like the vibes, and there's other people that are just like, no, I need something a little bit more-I mean, for lack of a better term, militant, somebody who can just force me to do these things instead of somebody that I vibe with.
So, Tua's got a little bit of Russell Wilson in him, then, right?
That would be a huge story.
I mean, I could see that in terms of like in what way, hold on, in what way?
What do you mean?
Please go into detail.
I'm with Jeremy, though.
It's just a vibe.
There's just something about Tua when he's at a press conference.
I'm just like,
Is he?
I don't, I just don't know.
I know exactly.
The question is: is it genuine, right?
Like, is it like Izzy just said, rah-rah just for the sake of being rah-rah?
Are you talking about Tua tag ovalia?
You see those new numbers?
Impressive.
Tua, tag, ovalia.
It felt like, well, remember, he was very reserved.
Brian Flores.
Who?
Tua, tag ovalia.
Brian Flores made work hell for our boy.
That's your cue.
Tua, tag, ovalia.
I'm not going to lie, if you just look at it, I've never given this man credit before, but that kind of like the way it should be pronounced.
Tua, tag ovalia.
There's no N, but everybody says N, but there's no N.
That's a dialect.
Of course.
An entire family comes from Hawaii.
Ovalia.
An invisible N.
An entire family just decided we're leaving Hawaii and we're going to go to Tuscaloosa.
Before NIL.
Nuts.
How do they do that?
Tag.
Ovalia.
That's a great place to raise a family.
You know, growing up and following the recruiting beat, it was always hilarious to me to see how many local South Florida recruits would have dads that would just get jobs as car dealers in Tuscaloosa.
It boggles the mind.
Let's put that guy in charge of everything, too.
And maybe pay him to be a lobbyist.
Who knows?
Alabama Jones.
That was still a bar of a joke.
All right, so we're worried about the Dolphins.
We're worried about the corners.
We got to find out if Keon Smith can play ball.
That's on on the big dog agenda that's pretty high up there positive thing that i am hearing i'm hearing patrick paul could be quote a pro bowler oh and i've already i don't know who that is but i've already heard
left tackle replacing they drafted him last year he sat all year watched armstead and now he's going to be starting directly affects our keon smith narrative so i'll keep it i just saw keon smith is the backup right tackle right behind austin jackson well he'll get some playing the dolphins are fine if patrick paul is fine i think the dolphins are fine at tackle and center the they have a left guard rookie and they have james daniels at right guard.
So the guards make me nervous.
All right, but we also have
a quarterback situation because you always have Tua
Tag Ovalia.
And the questions around his health, you brought in Zach Wilson.
There's no way Tua, tag, Ovalia plays this preseason, right?
No shot.
I hope not.
I think last year they gave him a series.
I could see them giving him a series
in the first game.
Don't give him a series.
Don't do that.
A lot of teams are bringing the starters out for the first game.
Give him a series, hand the ball off.
We didn't see that at all in previous seasons.
I know Joe Burrow, Kyler Murray, there are a handful playing this preseason.
But we're going to see a lot of Zach Wilson.
And Quinyures.
Quinyures.
Everybody's talking about Quinures.
Making the throws.
I've seen a package put together of some plays where, you know what gets me excited about him?
His outside of the pocket.
Wait, wait, wait.
So you're bypassing Zach Wilson altogether.
I've not seen them put together a montage of practice plays where he looks the way he's going to be.
Because in terms of being out of the pocket and flipping your hips, I mean, that's what got him drafted so high.
Like, he can do that.
I'm just saying,
the montage I saw looked nice.
Of Quinn Ewers.
Yes.
Like, I don't know what...
I don't know if it's a Texas thing.
I don't know if it's a...
Is he taller?
I don't know if it's a big white quarterback thing, but I don't remember him being average size.
He's average size.
Okay.
I think it must be a Texas thing.
6'2, which means
he's about 6'1 ⁇ .
He's 6'1.
About 6'1.
Which still makes him, what, two full inches taller than Tua?
What are the odds
that Quinn Ewers Brock Purdy's Tua?
The way that, like, Brock Purdy overtook Jimmy Garoppolo, where everybody thought that his job was safe, and then he missed a little bit of time, and then Brock Purdy just stepped up into an offense that was kind of perfect for him and unlocked some skills.
In Quinn Ewer's
Charles Manning, who was potentially the number one person.
He was a highly touted recruit who, you know, wasn't probably quite as successful as people thought he would be in college, but was a really good college quarterback and then shows up here in the NFL.
I mean, look, it's probably unlikely, but it's not impossible.
There were two guys, two passers in the NCAA last year that I think people were generally unfair.
And there's a weird narrative around them when you see their numbers, especially I know Quinn Ewers went out and Arch, that's a hell of a situation, but also following Stetson Bennett at Georgia is a hell of a situation.
I think Carson Beck and Quinn Ewers were really undervalued last year because of just the narrative.
The guy breathing down the neck, and in Georgia, the guy that he was following.
But Quinn Euers, is there a quarterback battle between he and Zach Wilson and Zach Wilson's firmly entrenched?
They paid him 10 million bucks.
6 million, I believe.
6 million, okay.
That's too much money to pay Zach Wilson to do anything.
Tag Ovalia.
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Hey, it's Mike Ryan.
Those sprinklers are starting to slowly come up on the football field.
Time that we have with summer is dwindling.
I'm sure you're already doing that thing where you're going through your photo album, flipping through the photos that you've taken this summer, already reminiscing about the good times that you have.
I know I did.
And in many of the pictures that I went back to reminisce over, I had a beautiful white can of Miller Light in my hand because I love making good times during the summer a Miller time.
And it's a good reminder.
We're losing time on this summer.
So why don't you share the moments that you have with a white can of Miller Light like I have?
whether it's a long weekend or a full-on vacation.
It is the perfect time to get the crew back together.
And since 1975, Miller Light has been the go-to way to stock the cooler and celebrate those moments.
This year marks 50 years of Miller time.
50 years of great taste, great friends, and unforgettable memories.
Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, it delivers rich, balanced hoffey note flavor and that golden color that just hits different.
Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.
Go to millerlight.com slash stand to find delivery options near you or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.
Cheers to 50 years of Miller Time.
Celebrate responsibly.
Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.