The Big Suey: Football America Friday (feat. Dave Dameshek)

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Speaker 15 Welcome to the Big Sue,

Speaker 20 presented by DraftKings.

Speaker 21 Why are you listening to this show?

Speaker 15 It's a podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebetard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

Speaker 21 I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there.

Speaker 23 That hasn't happened to you guys.

Speaker 7 I've done it.

Speaker 15 And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

Speaker 14 Exciting times here at Metal Arc Media.

Speaker 17 Should mention that our award-winning documentary team is added again.

Speaker 26 Taurasi streaming now on Amazon Prime Video.

Speaker 14 Just won an Emmy for our Boston Red Sox comeback doc that was on Netflix. This one's on Prime, and it circles around one of the greatest basketball players of all time, and Diana Taurasi.

Speaker 34 Haven't had the opportunity to watch it yet, but I'm hearing rave reviews for that.

Speaker 31 Another Metal Arc project that we can all get excited about is the debut of our new football podcast.

Speaker 7 Wait a minute, debut of our new football podcast.

Speaker 7 Dabacle.

Speaker 27 Dave Damashek is hosting Football America. I've been a huge fan of Dave Damashek for a very long time.

Speaker 34 He did great work covering the NFL.

Speaker 17 He's a brilliant comedic of mine, and we're really happy to have him on board.

Speaker 14 In fact, if you're listening to the show on podcasts right now, you can get the very first episode later today.

Speaker 41 It's posting later this afternoon on our feed.

Speaker 3 And if you're watching on DraftKings Network, you'll actually get during our show a segment of that first show for them later in the hour.

Speaker 42 And it will be live on YouTube. So let's bring Dave aboard.

Speaker 32 We enjoyed having him in the studio last week.

Speaker 14 Dave, formally welcome to the family.

Speaker 44 Very excited for you and Football America.

Speaker 45 What do you have for the audience with your first episode?

Speaker 46 We have Mina Kimes, first of all.

Speaker 46 It's the debut, after all.

Speaker 46 We wanted to come out hot there.

Speaker 46 It's David Damashak.

Speaker 46 Weird pronunciation there, Mike. But yeah, very excited.
It's football season. That's reason enough to celebrate.
It is now upon us. Yeah, like we talked about a couple of weeks ago.

Speaker 46 Preseason is football's version of Civil War reenactments. They only look real except Anthony Richardson, apparently.
It was kind of real. Sounds like he's going to be back without any harm.

Speaker 46 A lot of fun with the Fuentes brothers behind the glass on our debut.

Speaker 30 You got both of them?

Speaker 7 There's another one? No, there's two of those things?

Speaker 30 How did you mention Gina first?

Speaker 46 Mike and Gino, Gino and Mike combining. They have the con and are delightful in this first episode.
Spoiler, we recorded it last night, so we already know how it goes.

Speaker 46 And I dare say, maybe I'm biased. I thought it was plumb delightful because like you guys were just doing, I just listened to the first half hour of the show and I was over the moon.
Just

Speaker 46 made me feel a little less dorky. Football, football, football.
Let's cover it for a minute.

Speaker 20 Don't worry about the Lions anymore. I got you.
Like, you can eliminate that.

Speaker 46 Honolulu, Izzy. Oh, your reputation precedes you.
Is it Honolulu, Izzy, or Izzy Honolulu? Either way, I'm sure they're excited to have you on board. But yeah, that's me and Mina Kimes.

Speaker 46 Basically, we have a lot of fun around it, and then we dork out for about 20 minutes or so on the hot button issue.

Speaker 20 Izzy Honolulu is definitely my stripper nigga.

Speaker 7 That's Gino.

Speaker 35 That's a Fuentes? That's a Fuentes right there. They've been brothers this whole time.

Speaker 41 How about that?

Speaker 43 By the way, debut is perfectly acceptable.

Speaker 36 It's not exactly tomato tomato, but I digress.

Speaker 41 Debut.

Speaker 14 And also, I'm never going to learn how to spell Honolulu. It's just one of those words I'll lean on my phone to figure out.

Speaker 46 Why is that one tricky for you? That's weird.

Speaker 46 I might switch the station right now over to the shark and catch what Joe Rose said.

Speaker 46 By the way, is Joe Rose? It can't be that big a coincidence in the same region of Football America that you guys are talking about. The title is talking about the, it has to be the

Speaker 7 iconic spot. Do you know the bit of trivia?

Speaker 29 Do you know the trivia around Joe Rose?

Speaker 41 Why he's such a local luminary?

Speaker 46 I mean,

Speaker 46 is it because of the game that we talked about the last time I jumped in from this spot a couple of weeks ago when we talked about the greatest game of all time, the Dolphins and Chargers, aka the Bavarian place kicker showdown between Rolf Benershka and Uwe von Schaman?

Speaker 46 Is it that game? He scores a couple touchdowns, did Joe Rose in that one?

Speaker 50 His local claim to fame was he caught Dan Marino's first ever touchdown.

Speaker 46 Ah,

Speaker 46 well, he was instrumental when Don Strzok replaced David Woodley

Speaker 46 in that game against Air Coriel down there.

Speaker 50 He parlayed that football career of his to become a South Florida institution,

Speaker 41 a news anchor, a sports anchor for the local NBC affiliate, and then

Speaker 17 the greatest pitch man when it came to AM radio.

Speaker 38 You wanted a live read that would make you buy anything from air conditioning to a car.

Speaker 33 Yeah, he's doing low-T ads.

Speaker 36 And I'm like, that's how I've aged.

Speaker 29 Like, Joe Rose, he's like, and he's like, but I believe him.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he sells it. Yeah.

Speaker 42 He's like, you'll have friends that tell you they don't have ED.

Speaker 7 They're lying.

Speaker 7 All right. Like, I knew it.
Yeah.

Speaker 46 What is the payout of those ads? You know,

Speaker 46 the most intriguing one in my mind, actually, you guys are pretty familiar with him.

Speaker 46 His sequel to The Cowboys thing was to go to the Dolphins. Jimmy Johnson, this is a guy who

Speaker 46 millions of dollars as a head coach for the U and otherwise, and then the Cowboy, the Dolphins. Then he's making a ton of bank doing the Fox pregame show.

Speaker 46 And amidst all that, he starts doing ads for extends

Speaker 46 for his wiener. And his thing is, and his big thing is like, everywhere I go, people come up to me and say, coach.

Speaker 7 His big thing.

Speaker 46 Well, right, if it were, but I mean,

Speaker 46 what was going on in Jimmy Johnson's life that he needed to do that ad campaign? They're like, hey, people,

Speaker 46 let me tell you, I've tried it, it works.

Speaker 30 Like, oh, my God.

Speaker 29 There was one commercial where he was in like a full NASCAR track suit

Speaker 50 and buy an extends car.

Speaker 34 I got to believe, like, he just had a situation in the bedroom and it hit him like nothing else.

Speaker 20 And he felt empathy for all other, you know, middle-aged to older men men in the world and he said this this might be my calling so it wasn't the cash no no those those are effective cash is available everywhere i think is what dave's trying to say like he would have been able to uh sponsor any sort of uh item and it would have been better than extensive well no i mean because his last name is johnson i didn't even consider that but you know there's there are There are effective pitch men like Jimmy Johnson because there's, you know, Joe the plumber sitting on his couch saying, well, if it can happen to Jimmy Johnson, that's what what works so much with Frank Thomas.

Speaker 41 Like, well, if it's happening to the big hurt, it's definitely going to happen.

Speaker 7 I mean, Doug Bie. Yeah.
Don't buy.

Speaker 46 Well, the weird one, the weird one in those ads every time, the one when they're out on the driving range,

Speaker 46 Floody and Frank Thomas are out there.

Speaker 46 And

Speaker 46 the one guy, they're telling the one guy, I mean, you got to try this.

Speaker 46 And the ladies will like it too. And he's clearly with his wife.
And your wife will, you know, she'll like it too. But the wife has a friend with her, and she makes eyes at the husband.

Speaker 46 And the ladies will like it too. And she kind of looks watch the ad.
It's very disturbing. What are you doing?

Speaker 46 This doesn't involve you at all.

Speaker 20 Yeah, because I'm sure that's a conversation guys have everywhere, just little private conversations about their ED. And it's just like, oh, trust me.

Speaker 50 I think if you get older, you're more open to open relationships and swinging generally.

Speaker 46 Guys,

Speaker 46 are you feeling Honolulu blue down there? Hey, is he Honolulu here? And let me, you know, that kind of thing.

Speaker 53 That might be interesting to me.

Speaker 7 That kind of thing. Trademarked.

Speaker 20 I feel like you were just wanting to go there to just talk about.

Speaker 7 Well, that's why

Speaker 26 there's so much VD in the villages.

Speaker 54 We actually have, that's a clip of a Joe Rose livery, but Dave, I want you to hear the maestro at work, or as Dan would say, maestro.

Speaker 38 See, like debut.

Speaker 14 Joe Rose, an iconic pitch man.

Speaker 27 This was him doing an ad for a local South Florida sports bar.

Speaker 48 Ah, that's good.

Speaker 22 Big juicy cheeseburgers, a Philly chicken.

Speaker 48 Mmm,

Speaker 25 that's good. Onions,

Speaker 16 mushrooms, mmm, mss.

Speaker 16 It's good.

Speaker 22 Excuse me, can I have a side order of mmm? Can I get some blue cheese with it? I like to dip my thick

Speaker 22 in that blue cheese they have there.

Speaker 22 Hey, oh, you want some pasta and seafood dishes with fresh fish?

Speaker 48 Mmm, mmm. It's good.

Speaker 7 So good.

Speaker 23 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 38 There is nothing like a thick

Speaker 37 that was unedited, dude.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 40 That's, yeah, there was a promo code afterwards.

Speaker 43 There was, that was the only thing that was.

Speaker 46 Sweet. Hell, was that?

Speaker 46 That was grotesque. I mean, that really bordered on creepy, like Jimmy Johnson talking about the size of his weed.

Speaker 20 ASMR right there, man. I could fall asleep to that.

Speaker 48 Fresh fish.

Speaker 44 Like, just the saliva dripping out of his mouth.

Speaker 34 That is some succulent fresh fish that they have at that establishment.

Speaker 46 Fresh caught. I'm just so glad.
The reason we can have this conversation and laugh about it is because now we don't, we'll never find any of ourselves.

Speaker 46 We'll never find ourselves having to make ads like that because we're going to ride the money we make from Danny Dimes, MVP.

Speaker 47 Out of boy.

Speaker 10 Out of boy. That's right.

Speaker 52 Well, Dave, do you have any futures that you're looking at

Speaker 14 that are some deep value?

Speaker 40 I ventured golf to lead the league and interceptions.

Speaker 4 There are all sorts of kitschy little problems

Speaker 54 with big time.

Speaker 42 Well, you let me know after your investigation, after you canvass Alliance.

Speaker 17 But I'm curious, you're a man that knows his bets.

Speaker 14 Any deep value picks out there for the listening audience, and can we expect more of that on Football America?

Speaker 46 Yes,

Speaker 46 the short answer is yes. We'll be going over those over and under.
We'll figure out the best bets to make between now and the start of the season.

Speaker 46 But in the meantime, the perennial best bet, and I sincerely mean this, and

Speaker 46 I have expressed cynicism already already on this very show about Mike Tomlin and what's going on there but the best bet available every year is the Steelers over their season win total it's at eight and a half no matter how sideways things get with Aaron Rodgers or whatever else happens there Cam Hayward now holding in so is the place kicker Chris Boswell it doesn't matter they are definitely going to get to it minimum nine wins Mike Tomlin is the greatest floor raiser of the millennium so that's a great bet to start with the

Speaker 46 The pessimistic one, the overarching pessimistic bet to make is, and I think you can check out and verify that this is true.

Speaker 46 If you bet every running back's under, say, the top 25 guys on the list, you will win. You will land in the black if you bet they're under because injuries happen.

Speaker 46 Saquon Barkley, you guys were talking about him already.

Speaker 46 The marvelous 2024

Speaker 46 season, you know, his best rushing total to that point was 1,300 yards. He's going to go under there, and Vegas agrees with me.

Speaker 46 If you take a look, go on DraftKings and see what number they have there. It's somewhere right around there, and you think, oh my God, this is easy money.
No, it's not.

Speaker 46 Based on his history, he's likely to go under, as is every other human being who has to carry the ball that requires 300-pound guys who are very fast to run at him and hit him on purpose.

Speaker 46 So the likelihood that you're going to sit down and not make your 17-game rushing total is likely.

Speaker 46 even though it's, I hate the guy who walks up to the craps table. There's no one worse.

Speaker 46 That's a team event to get in there and root for the point to be made. The guy who stands up there and does the no pass last time.

Speaker 7 Oh, I punched that guy in the face.

Speaker 46 He's the worst.

Speaker 46 So I don't, I mean, yeah, do you understand what we're trying to do here, friend? You know, get on board or get the hell out.

Speaker 6 You're saying this is the football equivalent of that kind of thing? It is.

Speaker 20 It is, but it's still, I have to say, I don't want to shout it too loudly because it's because it expresses a glass half full of you and you can at least do that quietly though the the crap sky is in front of your face being like i'm rooting for all of you to lose at least this bet i can make in the privacy of my own to be honest i'm not liquid enough to take all those unders like and and wait several months for five dollars on each bet why do that when i can take lions falcons preseason week one and then i'll apply it after i win those speaking of lions i got a couple early ones on my lions research here dave to throw at you uh jameer gibbs plus 1400 to lead the league in rushing and Aiden Hutchinson's actually the lead favorite and plus 500 to lead the league in sacks.

Speaker 20 How good are those bets?

Speaker 46 I like the Hutchinson one a little bit better, I do think. I mean, situationally, you have your team has to have the lead in the second half.

Speaker 46 I mean, people maybe overstate that a little bit, but that is the formula for a pass rusher to get an extra few sacks over the course of the 17 games.

Speaker 46 I think the Lions, like you guys were talking about, it's going to be a slow burn for them. Don't go too deep.

Speaker 37 Mick? Yeah. Well, okay.
I don't want to.

Speaker 46 What I refer to is in the copycat league,

Speaker 46 the shortcut to the front of the line is to get the guy at QB in the draft. That's what happened with the commies, with Jaden Daniels.
They were a punchline.

Speaker 46 They got Jaden Daniels and voila, they're in the title game.

Speaker 46 The slower burn is to do it at the line of scrimmage, and that's how you have a more enduring

Speaker 46 playoff relevance is to load up like the Eagles have. And so now in the copycat league, it seems like a lot of teams are trying to adopt that model.

Speaker 46 And the Detroit Lions are pretty deep down the path with that. Here's the problem.
They're remaking the offensive line to a degree. Two key pieces gone from there, Izzy.

Speaker 46 That's a big one for a team that likes to grind you up on the ground. So I don't love the Gibbs bet specifically

Speaker 46 going over. And look at what happened in the in-between year to the Philadelphia Eagles, who the Lions are kind of sort of modeled after, is they go to the Super Bowl, then their coordinators leave.

Speaker 46 That when they kind of, over the course of the season, it wasn't week one that they were a different team. It was slowly but surely they dropped off.

Speaker 46 Remember how bad it got for the Eagles in between those two Super Bowls? I think that's what the Lions are going to be this year.

Speaker 20 I think all your tech are going to be

Speaker 20 able to cover there for me. A lot of space for me to just kind of get in there and tackle all these issues.
I like my choice. Better than the Bengals, I would say.

Speaker 46 Surviving Ben Johnson.

Speaker 46 That's the other big thing is

Speaker 46 the clever offensive mind has now transcended the guy at the trigger. Ben Johnson was more important than Jared Goff, and I think that's going to be revealed over the course of the 17 games upcoming.

Speaker 9 Dave, speaking of Ben Johnson, is everything going to be fixed now in Chicago, or is there going to be a bit of a learning curve with Caleb Williams, with DJ Moore, with Romo Dunze, them trying to get into the Ben Johnson system and figure things out?

Speaker 46 I bet it'll take a minute, but they're way better off than they were at this time last year when everybody was singing songs like, how can Caleb Williams miss?

Speaker 46 The Bears have created the greatest situation for a rookie QB of all time, except everybody ignored the fact that they didn't have a coaching staff.

Speaker 46 But the players are good. Now they have Ben Johnson.
I think the Bears are going to be frisky, and I think they're going to be a good team this year. I'm a believer.

Speaker 46 When you guys were going through that list, isn't it? It's a weird place.

Speaker 46 If you do season win totals right now, I have a hard time talking myself out of almost any team making the playoffs I agree the Saints are going to be a bum team the Browns are going to be bad but how many teams can you definitely say to yourself like I can't make a case that that team might be playoff a Jace I disagree about the Colts I think the Colts I can talk myself into the Colts AFC South that's a

Speaker 46 also

Speaker 46 Your old pal Vic Fangio didn't work out with the Dolphins, but then he went up there with the Eagles and, you you know, was transformative.

Speaker 46 Lou Anarumo, who was with the Bungles, and he wasn't loaded up with pieces, but those were some decent defenses he put out there when they went to the Super Bowl and almost went to the Super Bowl the following season.

Speaker 46 Now he lands in Indy, and again, there's some nice Colts pieces there. The way they're structured, isn't it time for Steichen to arrive?

Speaker 46 I know it has everything to do with what Anthony Richardson does or doesn't do, but Jonathan Taylor and what should be a good defense in that division,

Speaker 46 I mean, I absolutely could see that team win in the division.

Speaker 20 Anthony Richardson, ain't it? There's my Colts analysis.

Speaker 37 I just don't think he's got it.

Speaker 56 You're Honolulu, Izzy.

Speaker 7 You're right.

Speaker 7 You're right.

Speaker 49 That's claimed to yours. And also, you should pivot.

Speaker 19 Everybody's talking about Ben Johnson.

Speaker 50 You should be, I'm worried about the Aaron Glenn situation.

Speaker 32 That's another way that you get aggregated and we continue to build this.

Speaker 3 Hey, friends, Jeremy here. The NBA on Prime is back tomorrow with another great Emirates NBA Cup doubleheader.

Speaker 3 The night starts with Pascal Siakam Siakam and the Indiana Pacers meeting Donovan Mitchell and the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Speaker 3 A matchup that if Tyrese Halliburton was healthy, probably would have been a potential Easter Conference finals preview.

Speaker 3 Instead, you got Donovan Mitchell, who's averaging about 30 a game and the Pacers who are struggling, but those games on prime are always intense.

Speaker 3 And then it's down to Texas as Nikola Jokic and the Denver Nuggets, as Big Honey plays some of the best basketball of his career, which is certainly saying something, get their first look at Kevin Durant and the new look Houston Rockets.

Speaker 3 If you're not a Prime member, that's not a problem. Just sign up for a 30-day free trial to get started today.

Speaker 29 Pacers, Cavs, Nuggets, and Rockets.

Speaker 3 Coverage starts tomorrow at 6.30 p.m. Eastern, only on Prime.
Restrictions apply. See amazon.com slash Amazon Prime for details.

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Speaker 9 Folks, the leaves are turning. The weather's getting a little chillier.
That means the football games are more important.

Speaker 23 That means football time should be Miller time.

Speaker 23 Game day hits different with a Miller light in your hand.

Speaker 9 From jaw-dropping touchdowns to fantasy heartbreaks, my fantasy season's over already, but you know what makes that better? Miller time!

Speaker 9 It's the beer that's been there for every moment. 50 years of great taste, simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color you can spot from across the room.
And here's the kicker.

Speaker 9 It's just 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later.

Speaker 9 later so whatever your game day looks like remember miller time is always a good time miller light grape taste 96 calories go to millerlight.com slash dan to find delivery options near you or you can pick up miller light pretty much anywhere they sell beer it's miller time celebrate responsibly miller brewing company milwaukee wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces Don Lebatard.

Speaker 9 I think I would have been on his side.

Speaker 31 I would have went to you like, what did you say?

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, me and my friend, the rest of the way home, all we kept saying was, I ain't cheating.

Speaker 7 Stugats. It's like, why? Why did you guide your ass?

Speaker 23 I think he got your ass.

Speaker 7 I got his ass.

Speaker 40 Chris won this one for sure.

Speaker 7 Not that.

Speaker 31 Bally, Jeremy.

Speaker 57 Ballad.

Speaker 7 It was great.

Speaker 57 This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Speaker 43 Very excited for Football America today.

Speaker 51 You're Seelers guy. You're Pittsburgh guy.

Speaker 14 Your hat says Crosby backhand.

Speaker 26 Roy hasn't been able to look at the monitor once.

Speaker 46 Come on, Roy. Isn't it nice? Happy belated birthday, right? To the guy who saved hockey.
No.

Speaker 7 Saved hockey.

Speaker 29 He did save hockey.

Speaker 46 I mean, we've already had this discussion, right? I mean, like, come on. He and Ovechkin saved the sport, at least as we know it.

Speaker 46 It would be some fringy thing down there with lacrosse if it weren't for 87 and

Speaker 46 the grade eight. What they did in the early portion of this millennium, saved the game.
Don't forget the dead puck era and the lockout and all that stuff.

Speaker 46 We got back before it was even 2010, thanks to those two.

Speaker 46 Still the two most luminous stars, and both they've won cups at least, unlike McJesus, right?

Speaker 40 Yeah, well, it would have helped back then if the league actually showcased more to players instead of just two, or especially just one Cindy Crosby.

Speaker 7 But

Speaker 46 who did you want from your team for them to be?

Speaker 7 Jonathan Chi-Chu?

Speaker 10 Do you want a Chichu highlighted?

Speaker 13 We only had David Booth for us during that era.

Speaker 54 Although we do have David Booth highlighted. Actually, can we cue that up real quick?

Speaker 40 There's a great

Speaker 54 goal call.

Speaker 27 While video tries to cue that up, I want to talk to Dave real quick about the

Speaker 13 Aaron Rodgers footwork because Terry Bradshaw, he said that Aaron Rodgers is some of the worst footwork that he's ever seen.

Speaker 30 And I saw video from camp, and it looked like Ben Roethlisberger moving around in the pocket.

Speaker 29 Aaron Rodgers got really slow.

Speaker 7 Wait, that's a bad thing, right?

Speaker 4 It's not great because he's not the size of Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 39 And this was a guy that, I mean, he had it all.

Speaker 36 He was so athletic.

Speaker 52 He could scramble out of the pocket.

Speaker 33 You see him doing these cone drills, moving around in the pocket.

Speaker 41 You're like, okay, I guess running is out for Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 52 He's 40 years old, off an Achilles injury.

Speaker 4 I guess it makes sense.

Speaker 23 But are you concerned over there?

Speaker 18 Or were you feeling nostalgic and happy?

Speaker 14 Like, oh, Tomlin's got his quarterback again.

Speaker 10 This guy can barely move around in the pocket now.

Speaker 46 I don't know how nostalgia plays in here with someone else's legend.

Speaker 46 You know, it was okay because the Vikings were sad and desperate, and so they were willing to accept the guy who had tormented them for a decade and a half if it equaled a trip to the Super Bowl with Brett Favre.

Speaker 46 I'm a Steelers fan. I'm not nearly so desperate.
I know Mike Tomlin is desperate to get off the playoff Windlichneide that has run way too long now.

Speaker 46 So anyway, nostalgia doesn't play in here.

Speaker 9 I mean, he's moving around like Big Ben.

Speaker 46 I hear you. And, you know, the thing with, it makes me think of the Frank Gore paradox, which is that Frank Gore, you ask, like, why is he still so good as old as he is?

Speaker 46 It's because he never relied on high-end athleticism relative to the position like Chris Johnson

Speaker 46 as a home run hitter or Jamal Charles. You know, once Chris Johnson's top-end speed went away, so did he from

Speaker 46 being a big factor in the NFL. Frank Gore never had that high-end speed to lose, so he was fine.

Speaker 46 It's the same thing as Brady and Payton and Breeze, pocket-bound QBs who never relied on quick twitch athleticism. Aaron Rodgers has always been all about

Speaker 46 that gentle roll out to the right and throwing on the move and all of that. If he's a tick slow with that, that's obviously going to affect how he plays.
And it's a funny thing.

Speaker 46 You know, it's like heavyweight boxers, the lament that has gone on for as long as I've lived at least is like, why don't they know when it's time to go?

Speaker 46 That is the blind spot of a lot of athletes. And I think Russell Wilson

Speaker 46 saw it last year. They don't know that they're a tick slower.
They don't feel that.

Speaker 46 It is the only thing I can think is that they think that the ghost of themselves can still make the play that they were able to make a half a decade ago and it's no longer available.

Speaker 20 I don't understand what you mean by that.

Speaker 49 On Football America, are you required to talk about Micah Parsons?

Speaker 46 Well, here's how we talked about it.

Speaker 46 Me and the fellas batted this one around. We did some what-the-if

Speaker 46 transactions, and I'll throw this one at you now.

Speaker 46 These are, of course, fictional traits, but they're fun to talk about. I think that it kind of highlights the value of a guy beyond just his immediate football situation.

Speaker 46 Dallas Cowboys offer Micah Parsons to the Philadelphia Eagles for Saquon Barkley, who says no.

Speaker 20 I like this game.

Speaker 7 Ooh, I think Philadelphia says no.

Speaker 44 I do.

Speaker 46 I don't.

Speaker 58 I don't think so.

Speaker 46 I don't think so. Howie Roseman is the not-secret sauce of the Eagles, and he's smart enough to know that you would want to have Micah Parsons versus a guy who,

Speaker 46 despite Derrick Henry, and ironically, despite Saquon Barkley 2024, understands that the running back is more replaceable than a piece like Micah Parsons would be for your defense.

Speaker 20 And on the other side, Jerry Jones will fall in love with the cover athlete, the biggest biggest.

Speaker 46 Izzy gets it exactly right. Izzy, he's not just all Honolulu.

Speaker 46 He knows all about football. That's exactly right.
You know, Jerry Jones would be like, the keys would be jangling like, ding, ding, ding, like, ooh, a fancy running back. I like him.

Speaker 48 Get him in here.

Speaker 46 I blew it with Derrick Hendry last year.

Speaker 17 That would be the biggest trade in NFL history.

Speaker 13 It's rare that you have star for star.

Speaker 17 We got it this offseason. I mean, depending on what you think about Jalen Ramsey and Minka Fitzpatrick at this stage in Jalen Ramsey's career, but that was a big deal.

Speaker 13 You don't typically see that.

Speaker 17 We saw the Clinton Portis Champ Bailey one.

Speaker 13 Not really a player-for-player type of league.

Speaker 17 You don't see that, and you certainly don't see it in the division.

Speaker 46 Well, it does seem, though, like we get more trades than we used to a decade ago in season two.

Speaker 46 And it kind of operates almost like the NBA or, I mean, I guess the three major sports leagues.

Speaker 46 Now, the NFL is a little bit more like them, which is as the trade deadline approaches, and you're talking about Tyree Kill maybe getting moved around. Then you didn't used to see that.

Speaker 46 You know, 25 years ago, guys just didn't move in season and it was one of those things. Same thing as like, well, you could never have a running quarterback in the NFL.
That would never work.

Speaker 46 The guys are too fast on defense for that to ever work. And then somebody did it.
And they're like, oh, I guess we've been wrong this whole time about that.

Speaker 46 Yeah, I think that.

Speaker 46 I think that it's one of those kind of things.

Speaker 46 Oh, here's another one for you, another what the if trade for you. Aaron Rodgers.
Right now, contracts are as they exist. Aaron Rodgers for Geno Smith.

Speaker 48 Ooh.

Speaker 46 Gina and I talked about this one.

Speaker 9 This one's interesting because

Speaker 26 I think Tom Brady,

Speaker 50 the Tom Brady-Aaron Rodgers dynamic with Tom Brady in that front office, I think he signs off on the move.

Speaker 36 Geno's still got some good ball left, I think.

Speaker 20 You think Tom Brady signs off on the move, or does Tom Brady want to be the only guy who left his team and then won on a one-year situation?

Speaker 20 Because obviously he didn't do it last year, Aaron, but he could still salvage things if he wins a Super Bowl with the Steelers.

Speaker 10 That's an interesting thing.

Speaker 20 Like, would Tom Brady want himself?

Speaker 40 Tom Brady's more present now, at least during camp, but it's going to be a little weird when he has to step back a little bit because he's still calling football games.

Speaker 17 I'm curious to hear what Mina and Dave say about this on Football America. You want to give us a little spoiler and then we can tune in for the nuance?

Speaker 46 Well, it shouldn't be that. If you know Mina Kimes, you know she likes her Geno Smith, so do I.

Speaker 46 I mean, this was the perfect bridge quarterback to get you to 2026 without the, without the headache and all the

Speaker 46 soap opera.

Speaker 46 You just get Geno Smith in there for about the same amount of money. Then you have him next year to help out with whoever you draft in the first round.
Then you're right as reign there, yins.

Speaker 46 You didn't have to bother with this Aaron Rodgers nonsense. Now it's embarrassing for us.

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Speaker 9 Real quick, want to talk to you about how GameTime is the official ticketing partner of the Dan Lebatard show.

Speaker 25 Grateful that GameTime has been on with us as long as they have because I use this product all the time.

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Speaker 57 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 25 In terms of Heat fans, you're the most irrational of us right now.

Speaker 29 What's the pivot?

Speaker 57 Oh, irrational. Stugats.

Speaker 7 I can't hear your voice there.

Speaker 58 Your voice.

Speaker 21 If I were making a cartoon thing that was meant to symbolize irrational, that's the voice I would give.

Speaker 57 This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Speaker 24 Roy, we talked about who you wanted the league to highlight and put a big old spotlight on during the time of 87 and 8 doing their thing and rescuing the league.

Speaker 25 I was

Speaker 13 the first lockout.

Speaker 17 I was working with the Florida Panthers at the time, and there was the star back then.

Speaker 4 I think probably the biggest American hockey star that the franchise had to that moment was David Booth.

Speaker 14 I don't know if Dave Damaszek remembers David Booth, but I know he's a big-time puckhead, and that's one of those random pulls that might put a smile on people's face.

Speaker 44 David Booth is out here still doing it.

Speaker 38 Well, not out here, he's way out there.

Speaker 60 Down under.

Speaker 30 He's in Australia and playing in the professional Australian league, and he is absolutely bossing this league.

Speaker 33 And we have a highlight here.

Speaker 33 No way.

Speaker 58 You cannot do that.

Speaker 37 That has got to be the goal of the season.

Speaker 58 That's unbelievable. That is

Speaker 58 Norway

Speaker 58 doing

Speaker 58 bad things.

Speaker 37 Just when you need it, just when things are looking the other way.

Speaker 26 This is a bad man doing bad things.

Speaker 38 That is a great call.

Speaker 54 David Booth should have probably had the spotlight.

Speaker 13 I'm going to be tuning into the Australian Hockey League a little bit.

Speaker 52 If you get me more David Booth, is he the MVP of this league right now?

Speaker 29 Is this like MLS when Zlatan came over?

Speaker 30 Roy?

Speaker 40 I can't expect that the defense is.

Speaker 7 I mean, you're putting on hockey shows.

Speaker 5 Roy, is he the MVP? Answer the question.

Speaker 37 I haven't paid attention to Australian hockey league.

Speaker 10 Like, I didn't even know they had a league over there.

Speaker 44 Well, now you do because it's David Booth and you're a big David Booth guy.

Speaker 36 Did David Booth?

Speaker 7 You saw that score, by the way? It was 8-7.

Speaker 10 Wide open league over there. Did David Booth?

Speaker 42 Did that indeed put a smile on your face there, Dave Damashek?

Speaker 46 Of course it did. And of course, David David Booth benefits from the fact that four people in Australia know how to skate.
And so that it makes it a little bit easier to wend your way through things.

Speaker 46 I imagine there are the same number of hockey players in Australia as these United States

Speaker 46 have bobs letters or losers. I've always contended that any of us, if we decided to do it, could make the Luge team tomorrow just by announcing we're on it.

Speaker 46 Because how many other people out there are willing willing to do that

Speaker 17 you know I think Tony's gonna think that he can be an Olympic we did it level loser remember we did loser no we did do the bob sled and we had the best time out of like the normies

Speaker 7 we did really well you guys have bobsledded yeah on an Olympic course I hated that

Speaker 38 I hated that oh yeah Chris was there I was in like I was way in the it was me you juju I think in our three-man sled fit in there no I was with it was very tight it was with me I mean

Speaker 13 the entire time I was just thinking we're gonna flip over and our heads are gonna hit the ice the way that did the Jamaican bob sled did.

Speaker 28 And we're going to have to carry our.

Speaker 7 And then

Speaker 29 Lewis would be there clapping.

Speaker 13 But no, it didn't happen because we actually killed the assignment.

Speaker 46 The low-leverage middle reliever, I always thought, like, that's got to be the breeziest gig in sports. It's like, you know, like, ah, we're down seven to three.

Speaker 46 Just put him in to fill the next two or three innings. Guy must be a great spot to get paid six or seven figures.
But we have in this world, we have the bob sled, and you get medals.

Speaker 46 They hand out medals for the, for the team that does the best with this.

Speaker 46 So you have the guy who steers it and then you have the guy behind who runs it and like, you know, he provides the force and like then he jumps in and he rides along in the back.

Speaker 46 Why then do we have a completely different one with two more cats riding along?

Speaker 46 What are they doing? I mean, the guy in the back, we've already seen. Our eyes tell us that you can make that bob sled thing go with the guy steering it in the front with just one guy.

Speaker 46 What do the other two guys do?

Speaker 55 Thiddle folks,

Speaker 46 what do they do? They just ride along.

Speaker 9 They're the pushers.

Speaker 46 And then at the end, they get medals. If they do well enough, if the steer guy and the guy in the back does well enough, those two guys who just ride along for it, they get medals too.

Speaker 6 You got the pilot, there's the pilot, the brake man, and the pushers.

Speaker 5 So I guess they're just there for the beginning.

Speaker 29 You're in luck.

Speaker 46 But the brake man already shows us that he can do, he can multitask. He can push, and then he'll break.

Speaker 46 What are you two doing?

Speaker 6 Junior Beville and Yoil Brenner, the best pushers of all time.

Speaker 20 Yoel Brenner. There's a guy associated with the show that's very good on this sport, you know, right?

Speaker 48 Who? Who?

Speaker 55 Tim Reynolds.

Speaker 7 Oh,

Speaker 7 covers it for our nation.

Speaker 26 Shadow banned.

Speaker 14 Shadow banned Tim Reynolds.

Speaker 19 The best pushers push a T, one half the closet. Clearly.

Speaker 28 Yeah, Dave, we can tune in to expect a different nuanced take on Micah Parsons, fantasy trades.

Speaker 14 I remember we've talked about it before.

Speaker 51 You did your 10-foot poll.

Speaker 46 So I'm sure you've got a lot of interesting benchmarks we debut our version of the you know the hawkeye technology that determines first downs now we have our version of that that we debut we show mina kinds of super bowl picks at debut as uh as pavement album covers so we have uh we have fun in this first episode speaking of 10-foot pole uh let me know when john ham is a guest on the show please i think i think next week i think next week that's a big time john ham will join us yes all right so football america again subscribe to that feed but uh if you want to give it a try it'll show up on our DLS audio feeds, wherever it is.

Speaker 50 You find your podcasts, Apple, Spotify, all the industry leaders, and it'll be live on YouTube, premiering on DKN later today, around 6 o'clock Eastern, 3 o'clock Pacific.

Speaker 29 Dave, we're really excited to have you aboard.

Speaker 27 Thank you for helping out today on the show, and we will talk to you soon, brother.

Speaker 46 Oh, I'm over the moon. Thanks so much, Izzy.
Just real quick, consider Cam Wartz Titans. That's the better long-term investment.

Speaker 20 I can't.

Speaker 20 That's Mike's team.

Speaker 26 Yeah, it is my team.

Speaker 39 One thing before you go, like,

Speaker 40 the recipe for a shock playoff team, I put a future on Tennessee to make the playoffs.

Speaker 32 They have the makings.

Speaker 42 Bill Callahan there to address the offensive line that everybody's worried about.

Speaker 13 Kim Wards played a lot of football.

Speaker 42 Those guys that have played a ton of football games come into the league and they perform well.

Speaker 49 Live arm.

Speaker 13 I know that this is a place that wide receivers go to die, and they may have two of them in Calvin Ridley and Tyler Lockett.

Speaker 14 But you also look at a weak division when you're trying to prognosticate who can be a shock playoff team.

Speaker 40 Titans have that thing going for them.

Speaker 14 I think that a lot of people are going to be facing off against Tennessee in their survivor pools week one because Yember is an established.

Speaker 20 See what I'm saying, Dave? He's got it covered.

Speaker 47 He's got the Titan going.

Speaker 7 I get it, but let me get it.

Speaker 31 You got a recipe there.

Speaker 46 I happen to agree. And again, you have amnesia if you have already forgotten what just happened with the Washington Commies.
You can turn your nose up like the Titans. What?

Speaker 46 Because they drafted Cam Ward? Yeah, look at what Jaden Daniels did and how he transformed that punchline of a franchise in one season. Why couldn't Cam Ward do that? He certainly can.

Speaker 46 The only thing that scares me is choose your adventure. Glass half empty, glass half full.
Cam Ward, 6'2, 220 as he comes out of the U.

Speaker 46 Steve McNair, first round draft pick of the Tennessee Titans franchise, 6'2 ⁇ , 220. Here's the problem.
Jake Locker, 6'2, 220. Wow.
So again, glass half empty, glass half full.

Speaker 46 I happen to lean Mike's way there.

Speaker 46 I think that the Aaron Rodgers story and the Browns having 290 quarterbacks and all of that has added, and oh, the draft class of 26 is better than this one is, has all added up to somehow us collectively not talking about the Raining Heisman Trophy winner landing in Nashville, Tennessee.

Speaker 46 I think he's going to be great, and I think the Titans are going to be a little bit better than people expect.

Speaker 46 I don't know if they're going to win the division or anything, but I'm riding with Mike there. Just give it some thought, Izzy.
Give it some thought. Bandwagon.

Speaker 46 Don't you want to be at the crabs table cheering for the same number as Mike?

Speaker 20 I can't go against the bucket. The bucket has decided.
I am Honolulu Izzy.

Speaker 27 Yeah, you're not baby blue.

Speaker 34 You're Honolulu Blue Izzy.

Speaker 14 We want to respect Travis Hunter, the actual Eisman Trophy winner.

Speaker 32 But Cam Ward is the Eisman Trophy finalist.

Speaker 14 And what separates...

Speaker 30 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 46 The show's not a college football show. It's an NFL show.

Speaker 58 Why would I know who won the higher?

Speaker 4 What separates Cameron Ward from Jake Locker is a proof of concept.

Speaker 17 You've actually seen Cameron Ward come into a team and change the program around like you saw him with Miami and Jake Locker.

Speaker 33 I mean, that one never made sense.

Speaker 42 I don't even, it's not even like he had this incredible size that the scouts would fall in love with.

Speaker 33 He wasn't a winner in college. I never really got there.

Speaker 20 Here's the thing that scares me about Cam Warden. Tell me if my eyes were lying about this.
I know you just said he's got a great arm.

Speaker 55 Seems to like to lob a lot of balls.

Speaker 20 That scares the hell out of me in the NFL.

Speaker 26 He does fall in love a little bit with the arm angles and holding on to the ball a little too long.

Speaker 40 And I know Bill Callahan's there, but that offensive line will kind of beat it into him in terms of getting rid of the ball a little bit quicker.

Speaker 39 But it's a gift and a curse.

Speaker 32 One thing that from being out at practice, Carson Beck, a very different quarterback than Cam Ward, very decisive, knows where he's going with the ball.

Speaker 27 And at practice, even in fall camp, Cam Ward liked to improvise and drift back.

Speaker 30 And I don't know if he's going to be able to have that luxury at Tennessee, but I'm going to be locked in week one because if you want someone to blow up a survivor pool, it might be the Tennessee Titans.

Speaker 29 Dave, we look forward to having you more more on the show.

Speaker 32 We love having you here in the Metal Arc family.

Speaker 14 Look forward to hearing and watching Football America all season long. Thank you for joining us.

Speaker 46 Thanks. Joe Rose definitely did not win the Heisman.
Goodbye, and thank you.

Speaker 24 He was a Cal guy, though.

Speaker 30 Still thick.

Speaker 17 Yeah, he's a Cam Ward guy and a Cal guy.

Speaker 13 At 2 a.m.

Speaker 25 that Saturday, that fateful Saturday, I imagine he was a house divided over there.

Speaker 5 The owner of Callahan Auto Parts is in Tennessee.

Speaker 6 No,

Speaker 14 the greatest offensive line coach.

Speaker 49 There was another dildo.

Speaker 48 Oh.

Speaker 14 But this time the authorities got involved.

Speaker 33 And this time it was pink.

Speaker 19 I got to be honest.

Speaker 14 They don't have the Caitlin Clark storyline that they had last year because it was a novelty and she was red hot with momentum.

Speaker 26 I've told you, I'm one of the bravest sports personalities out there in the media space.

Speaker 14 I will tell you to your face. I don't watch it.

Speaker 37 Don't care for it.

Speaker 29 I do love women's basketball.

Speaker 25 I go to every Miami Hurricanes women's basketball game.

Speaker 32 I donate to that program.

Speaker 14 But WNBA doesn't do anything for me.

Speaker 18 I don't have a team here.

Speaker 32 I don't have a Miami Hurricanes player in the league that I can root for.

Speaker 49 And over the summer, I just decide, eh, I can do without that sport.

Speaker 13 But I'm into this dildo thing.

Speaker 48 I like it.

Speaker 19 I think it's funny.

Speaker 55 Now, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop right there.

Speaker 20 I know why it's dangerous. What makes it funny?

Speaker 29 It's a dildo.

Speaker 7 Okay, and the dildo is a sex toy.

Speaker 36 Okay.

Speaker 49 And it's inappropriate to throw onto the court.

Speaker 40 I think that this is a good thing.

Speaker 45 And I wouldn't be surprised if the league is actually buying.

Speaker 20 So the first time, the first time you see a dildo get lobbed onto the floor you're like ha

Speaker 20 that's a sex toy that's not supposed to be there is that the end no

Speaker 37 I was actually the other way the first time I saw that I'm like this is inappropriate because I have to say this otherwise Jeremy would jump down my neck like this is super inappropriate I'm like oh it's a bad bad thing and then the second dildo arrived and I'm like okay this is starting to be funny a little bit and then they all started being neon green I'm like okay it's a funny color this is a coordinated effort.

Speaker 26 Neon green dildos.

Speaker 36 That is wild.

Speaker 45 And now they're trying to stop the dildos from being thrown.

Speaker 17 And I'm like, look, my algo is definitely gamed to this dildo throwing thing in the WNBA.

Speaker 41 This is how I can follow the sport.

Speaker 30 And quite frankly, it's the only storyline in this league I'm paying attention to.

Speaker 3 If anything, that only proves the point of why I, I

Speaker 3 doing the voice on behalf of women.

Speaker 9 Why do you do the condescending voice too?

Speaker 7 Because

Speaker 3 I'm here to be the condescending liberal asshole. Isn't that my job?

Speaker 24 No.

Speaker 52 Asshole.

Speaker 29 I haven't seen the Mark Maron special yet. Did you get paid?

Speaker 60 Mark Maron is brilliant, but he's making the rounds on the market.

Speaker 52 But I did see a clip.

Speaker 33 We got to lighten up as progressives a little bit.

Speaker 40 We literally

Speaker 7 call them American fascism.

Speaker 52 What does somebody think of the children?

Speaker 7 Are we allowed to just shame this

Speaker 7 pretty disrespectful women? Yeah, it's

Speaker 20 just disrespectful

Speaker 3 toward women.

Speaker 45 Look, I didn't have you as being against equality, but you're not sounding like an ally right now.

Speaker 42 This happens at Bill's Games, and it was funny back then.

Speaker 42 And for you to come out and say that it's not funny because there were women on the court, that is,

Speaker 45 you're not going to like that. You're saying it's not funny specifically because of someone's gender, and I am not only being Cartman as Charlie Kirk right now.

Speaker 42 Did you think it was funny when it was at Bill's Games?

Speaker 3 Doing one thing as a tradition at one stadium.

Speaker 7 Well, this is how traditions start.

Speaker 10 I would say that's the first thing that I'm doing.

Speaker 3 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no throwing dildos at women who are playing a professional sport in a league that is also predominantly full of gay women.

Speaker 7 It's

Speaker 3 there's all sorts of undertones here, man.

Speaker 20 Can I update the story really quickly? Because this doesn't get more 2025 than what I'm about to read to you, right? Because we think this is funny because somebody decides, oh, a dildo on the floor.

Speaker 55 Ha ha. All right.

Speaker 20 So Katie Barnes wrote a story on ESPN.com.

Speaker 20 A self-described cryptocurrency enthusiast told ESPN that he is part of a group that orchestrated recent sex toy stunts that have disrupted at least three WNBA games in the past 10 days.

Speaker 20 The man who spoke on the condition of anonymity over video conference Wednesday said the stunts were meant to market a crypto coin that his online community created.

Speaker 20 The WNBA and all its controversy, he said, made the league a logical target.

Speaker 37 A crypto, bro?

Speaker 7 How?

Speaker 20 Does that make sense?

Speaker 29 Is there a meme coin that's a lime green dildo?

Speaker 30 I'm on it.

Speaker 7 I'll invest. invest.
I'll invest.

Speaker 7 I think it's funny.

Speaker 30 I think it's funny, and I understand.

Speaker 24 Apparently, one of these projectiles almost hit a baby.

Speaker 30 We don't want that.

Speaker 7 We don't want that.

Speaker 20 Cunningham don't want that either.

Speaker 32 And I don't want them hitting players.

Speaker 14 I don't think that they're aiming for players. And if they aim for players, shame on you.

Speaker 26 This isn't football where they're wearing helmets.

Speaker 7 All right.

Speaker 39 But if you want to aim for the periphery of the court, by all means, I think it's funny.

Speaker 13 I think the dildos are funny.

Speaker 61 There's no reason to pay attention to the women in sports unless there are dildos dildos.

Speaker 20 Can we demystify the dildo a little bit?

Speaker 23 I have an update really quick on the dildo.

Speaker 9 Green dildo coin up 80%.

Speaker 42 So that's the name of the coin?

Speaker 30 That's the name of the coin?

Speaker 20 Dildo coin. Okay.

Speaker 53 So

Speaker 3 can we press restart on just like the entire concept of

Speaker 41 you would like to walk it back?

Speaker 13 Because you apply to subtext of dildos that I don't think should actually be there.

Speaker 30 Look, I'm not on blue sky.

Speaker 38 But to me,

Speaker 29 two purposes. No.
Comidopolibla? Yeah.

Speaker 7 That's what I know about that.

Speaker 7 That's what I know about blue sky.

Speaker 48 I don't know that blue sky.

Speaker 7 I didn't find me at that blue sky.

Speaker 3 You know, if you want to hear about this story in deeper detail, Good Follow has a really good deep dive into it.

Speaker 3 And of course, if you want to hear actual storylines about the WNBA, you can go to DLS Hoops on YouTube and listen to everything Juju's been doing as he covers this league really, really well.

Speaker 17 We do, I'm sorry, we do a great job of covering the WNBA here at Metal Arc.

Speaker 41 And we have plenty of people that follow this league religiously, cover it and speak with it,

Speaker 13 speak to it with authority.

Speaker 24 I'm not one of those cats.

Speaker 33 I don't think there's a subtext to the dildos.

Speaker 24 I just think it's funny to see a dildo.

Speaker 33 Now, don't hit anybody.

Speaker 18 And I know that.

Speaker 7 How do you figure that out?

Speaker 14 Well, look, there's definitely going to be some collateral damage when you're throwing a projectile on the court.

Speaker 41 And if we could, I would establish like a comida por libra type of...

Speaker 42 There has to be a weight limit.

Speaker 44 You do need some weight to it because that's how you can make sure that it gets from the lower level to the court.

Speaker 49 No upper deck dildos too.

Speaker 38 That should be a rule.

Speaker 35 It's far too. Upper dildo.

Speaker 9 You're hitting somebody in the stands if you're throwing it from the upper deck.

Speaker 7 Upper level. Exactly.

Speaker 34 Exactly. Zigak.

Speaker 42 But

Speaker 42 I don't think it's...

Speaker 33 I don't.

Speaker 43 I understand the subtext around it, and I know I'm coming off crude and all that.

Speaker 17 And I get that.

Speaker 56 But it's funny.

Speaker 7 Like,

Speaker 23 it is.

Speaker 44 I'm sorry. I apologize.
Goodfellow did a great piece.

Speaker 14 If you want some people to not find it funny, there's plenty of people that you can find out there that don't find it funny.

Speaker 10 If it's going to happen again, it's going to show up on my algo, and I'm going to like it because it's funny.

Speaker 60 Because it's a dildo. You know what's a common thing on the internet right now? It's blind ranking.
So, right now, we're going to blind rank.

Speaker 60 I'm going to give you guys objects that, and you're going to rank them that would be funny to throw in a court and wouldn't be funny to throw in a court.

Speaker 2 The first thing.

Speaker 6 Oh, we don't have time for this.

Speaker 31 I was going to say,

Speaker 9 we're going to do it in 10 seconds. Just give me two.

Speaker 38 All right.

Speaker 5 A shoe.

Speaker 17 No.

Speaker 35 A dildo. Yes.

Speaker 7 Outdoors a shoe.

Speaker 9 Folks, the leaves are turning. The weather's getting a little chillier.
That means the football games are more important.

Speaker 23 That means football time should be Miller time.

Speaker 23 Game day hits different with a Miller light in your hand.

Speaker 9 From jaw-dropping touchdowns to fantasy heartbreaks, my fantasy season's over already, but you know what makes that better? Miller time!

Speaker 9 It's the beer that's been there for every moment. 50 years of great taste, simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color you can spot from across the room.
And here's the kicker.

Speaker 25 It's just 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Speaker 9 The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later. So whatever your game day looks like, remember Miller time is always a good time.

Speaker 9 Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you.

Speaker 13 Or you can pick up Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

Speaker 9 It's Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly.
Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Speaker 9 Now's a good time to remember where Tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila.

Speaker 10 Cuervo.

Speaker 9 What are you doing here? Cuervo.

Speaker 11 Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

Speaker 12 Well, I do know that to be true, but even during ad reads like, Cuervo, I think you could lay out, especially for one of our great partners.

Speaker 16 Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

Speaker 9 Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots.

Speaker 12 The same family, the same land, the same passion.

Speaker 18 Cuervo.

Speaker 13 So, enjoy the tequila that started it all.

Speaker 14 Cuervo. Cuervo.

Speaker 9 The tequila that invented tequila.

Speaker 7 Proximo, Cuervo.com. Please drink responsibly.
Cuervo.