The Big Suey: Shut Up, Kids (Cha-Cha-Cha!)

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Speaker 14 Welcome to the Big Sue,

Speaker 2 presented by DraftKings.

Speaker 15 Why are you listening to this show?

Speaker 14 It's a podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebatard podcast.

Speaker 5 I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

Speaker 14 In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

Speaker 18 I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's prize that if they're just there.

Speaker 19 If that hasn't happened to you guys, I've done it.

Speaker 14 And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

Speaker 22 This episode is presented about DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

Speaker 23 A number of different things that I wish to get to, including Greg Cody.

Speaker 24 I don't know what controversy this has caused in the house.

Speaker 24 I know Greg Cody does not want us to play a video that we are going to play anyway over his objections because he's embarrassed by it, but I don't know the nature of the embarrassment.

Speaker 24 And before I play the video,

Speaker 24 Chris, can you give me some family context to this?

Speaker 27 Why is your father embarrassed that we're doing this against his will?

Speaker 30 My mother celebrates her birthday this upcoming weekend, and this past weekend, her work family took her out for their, which they do.

Speaker 30 Whenever someone celebrates a birthday, my dad goes to these dinners.

Speaker 30 I believe you complained about, and maybe I'm revealing too much because some people might listen, you only knew like two or three of 17 people or something.

Speaker 32 I probably knew three or four of 18 people well enough to have a casual conversation, but that's okay. It's her party, not mine.
Right.

Speaker 30 So then they get to the end of the meal where they're, of course, singing happy birthday. And you would think, other than my mom, who needs to be the most interested in

Speaker 34 this song? Like, we can't have...

Speaker 10 Well, that's true.

Speaker 6 She's a boss and this is a work thing. It's a bunch of kiss asses.

Speaker 30 Oh, trust me. And this is.
Everyone here, like, my mom is the boss here.

Speaker 34 So

Speaker 30 Billy's nailing it. Like, everybody for sure is, like, not wanting to be at this dinner, and they're all just putting on a show for my mom.

Speaker 36 Like, that's undeniable.

Speaker 31 Well, wait a minute.

Speaker 32 Everyone loves your mother.

Speaker 30 That's what they, you know,

Speaker 20 at work.

Speaker 7 Believe me, that's bona fide.

Speaker 1 Well, so what we have here is the, we're going to jump.

Speaker 38 I don't want you to throw it to the video just yet.

Speaker 28 I want to set some of the family context of this because we have 17 people at a dinner and I know your father, he wants her birthday to be about him. Like he can say it's her party.

Speaker 42 It's not what he wants.

Speaker 38 It's her party, but he'll cry if he wants to. Like

Speaker 28 he wants to be seen here and these are people who work for your mother and he doesn't really want to talk to any of them. Talk to two or three of them.

Speaker 39 They're going to ask him, hey, dolphin, seven and a half, over, under, he's bored. He doesn't want to be there.
Okay.

Speaker 32 All right. There's another backdrop to this video and it's that.

Speaker 32 I probably shouldn't have had that third old-fashioned.

Speaker 30 My mom always criticizes him. When he gets into the brown.

Speaker 34 It's a scary thing.

Speaker 44 And I love how he says third old-fashioned while in this video, he's holding a glass of wine.

Speaker 7 So, mixing.

Speaker 20 Oh, no.

Speaker 35 There may be Ubered.

Speaker 32 There may have been a couple of beers before we left the house in a pregame party.

Speaker 46 Well, I have a theory about this video because I did see it before the show, and that applies some content.

Speaker 5 Yes, and what we're going to play here, this is more visual.

Speaker 30 So, all you're going to hear here is them singing happy birthday.

Speaker 29 But what you're going to see is a very uninterested husband of the birthday girl let's play it

Speaker 20 happy girl oh no

Speaker 21 oh no

Speaker 21 oh no happy girl

Speaker 3 oh no so

Speaker 30 as he's so what you miss there if you're not watching is my dad just in the middle of the song not singing not mouthing the words just casually looking at his phone okay boy what a what a side profile there on the cody nose um

Speaker 32 i was scrolling my phone real quickly to try to to take a video of them singing happy birthday before I ended up.

Speaker 47 Oh, come on.

Speaker 10 That was my theory.

Speaker 46 That was my theory.

Speaker 20 It was like a third.

Speaker 13 You gave up.

Speaker 6 He was struggling. You could see the screen never changes.
He couldn't do what he was trying to do.

Speaker 44 We're three-quarters of the way into the song.

Speaker 11 And I've been crying the whole time.

Speaker 46 You could have been singing along, but you were.

Speaker 21 I've been trying the whole time.

Speaker 44 We see you grab your phone to lift it up.

Speaker 32 Okay, the logo, the camera logo on my phone has disappeared.

Speaker 31 I now have to

Speaker 2 keep poking the camera logo.

Speaker 32 I now have to click a button and start spelling camera to get everyone.

Speaker 49 Please back off because this is a gold mine.

Speaker 50 There is a gold mine here on what you guys are noticing here is

Speaker 13 this is your father, Chris,

Speaker 45 after,

Speaker 42 quote, I probably shouldn't have had that third old-fashioned.

Speaker 43 His functions are not going to work correctly.

Speaker 51 Look, he's bad at technology under all circumstances.

Speaker 37 The funniest part of this is that nothing on your father's phones changes.

Speaker 40 He's simply, he's stuck at password.

Speaker 5 And there are clearly people already videoing this.

Speaker 1 So, like, but two-thirds of the way through the song, you have the idea.

Speaker 30 Someone should be videoing this. Let me get my phone.

Speaker 34 While seven people around the table are videoing.

Speaker 32 I wanted to be the guy videoing it. By the way, I haven't fallen down any flights of stairs lately.

Speaker 45 Oh, come on, man.

Speaker 20 I'm just saying.

Speaker 21 Neither have I, according to them.

Speaker 20 I mean, you know.

Speaker 11 You fell down some stairs.

Speaker 45 Different.

Speaker 44 Okay. But it's just like uninterested.

Speaker 2 Like, oh, what?

Speaker 20 Should I take a video? Oh, that's part of it.

Speaker 32 It wasn't even a birthday cake. It was like a brown cake.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's a very sad little piece of punch.

Speaker 44 But just at the end, like the half-hearted, just like, oh, good.

Speaker 36 That song's over.

Speaker 46 I love when he looks up defeated. Like, let me just get back to programming.
I won't jump in and sing. And again,

Speaker 46 you're throwing stones here. While you haven't fallen down some stairs, I'm pretty sure Dan's arms haven't gushed blood because he just ran into a threshold.

Speaker 11 All right.

Speaker 47 That's fair.

Speaker 32 But, you know, that kind of thing.

Speaker 9 When's her actual birthday?

Speaker 11 This seems like it was a fake birthday. The 22nd.
The birthday is the 22nd.

Speaker 32 It's birthday month in my house. I mean, I do nothing but celebrate this.

Speaker 35 Because we're taking her out to dinner this weekend, so she did her work thing the weekend before.

Speaker 32 And she and I are going off Friday night. I mean, it's like a big birthday month.
Enough. And so the fact I didn't sing because she's blowing out the candle in a cupcake, you know, is not a big deal.

Speaker 11 How old is she turning?

Speaker 31 We don't want to talk about that.

Speaker 6 Well, just, is it like a significant milestone?

Speaker 20 No, no, it isn't.

Speaker 32 Oh, then ridiculous. It's not a major birthday.

Speaker 6 Why do you even need to go to a work birthday? You don't work with her.

Speaker 32 Well, you know, that could be said, but I wanted to support my wife.

Speaker 31 You know, nobody supports her like I do.

Speaker 32 I'm not sure.

Speaker 32 Not financially, but otherwise.

Speaker 34 No one supports her.

Speaker 6 You're literally in the video not supporting her. I mean, I'm looking at the people in the back that seem somewhat disinterested in even the singing.

Speaker 6 There's a guy at the end that he's like faking the, you know, Bob's body. Oh, he's nodding his head.

Speaker 36 What do you mean?

Speaker 6 Yeah, that's not enthusiasm. That's not singing like you're really wishing someone a happy birthday.

Speaker 20 It's like the Jay-Z gyp.

Speaker 11 What What is his happy birthday?

Speaker 13 That's effort right there.

Speaker 6 Bob's office, Lewis over there.

Speaker 22 Happy birthday to him, by the way.

Speaker 20 It is Lewis's birthday, actually.

Speaker 20 Oh, Bob. Look at that eye roll he just did.

Speaker 6 I hope that guy's not getting a bonus. Happy birthday, dear Louis.
Watch the eye roll.

Speaker 6 Happy birthday.

Speaker 10 At the end, about a second. Let's see.

Speaker 3 Oh, wow.

Speaker 20 Whoa.

Speaker 7 Why do you there? Whoa.

Speaker 6 Greg didn't roll his eyes.

Speaker 8 Okay, so a lot to examine here.

Speaker 34 They're uninterested.

Speaker 11 Are they lawyers? Could they sue us?

Speaker 37 A lot to examine here.

Speaker 25 I want to examine all of it because I am going to defend my friend here, even though the optics on this are horrible.

Speaker 39 Like, he picks up his phone.

Speaker 40 It looks like he's distracted immediately.

Speaker 49 No interest in happy birthday for his wife.

Speaker 38 The optics are horrible. And this is what I'm telling you, though, Chris.

Speaker 24 I've seen your father in this condition when he still doesn't know what order to drink these drinks in.

Speaker 50 He ruined my brother's very first exhibition, knocking paintings off the wall because he does not know the order to drink.

Speaker 28 So if he's already had beer and wine, you can't go three old-fashions.

Speaker 43 Like, you can't start mixing these in orders where he's already screwed up, no matter what his tolerance level is.

Speaker 25 This is your father at his very cognitively slowest.

Speaker 21 He can't.

Speaker 44 I should pick up my phone.

Speaker 20 He can't put it back here.

Speaker 41 He can't do shit here. Like, he's along for the ride.

Speaker 53 He didn't want to go in and be out with these people.

Speaker 15 He's so tired of Office Lewis and his fake ways, overlaughing at mom's jokes.

Speaker 20 Bobbing his head.

Speaker 11 Yeah, good song.

Speaker 42 These people are dead inside.

Speaker 38 They don't want to be there any more than your father does. And your father handles it every year by drinking too much.

Speaker 7 No, that's not true.

Speaker 50 Greg, there's a story I remember from you ruining one of these things where you actually had a lampshade on your head.

Speaker 30 In his defense, he doesn't need a birthday party to do that.

Speaker 41 Greg, Greg, how many years ago was the office party that you had to change your office party behavior because at the end of the night you had a lampshade on your head?

Speaker 10 I don't catalog all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 32 You know, it says there's so much going on.

Speaker 32 This video does one thing. It shows how much I love my wife.

Speaker 35 No, it doesn't. Okay, because

Speaker 31 my priority right then was being hell-bent to record this song.

Speaker 1 Three-quarters of the way into the song.

Speaker 16 You had the idea.

Speaker 20 This is a late reaction.

Speaker 6 You just need the wish at the end of blowing out of the candle. You fast forward through the rest of the happy birthday.

Speaker 2 I love the half-hearted, like, him clapping, trying to, like, look, I've been involved the whole time.

Speaker 32 The idea you got to sing happy birthday is such a

Speaker 32 I really don't like that song at all. Nobody likes it.
Nobody wants to sing it. You know, and if it's like if you're singing it for somebody who's like

Speaker 32 a wife to you and an aunt to you and a nana to you.

Speaker 6 What name do you say?

Speaker 32 Nobody knows what to say when it comes down to the name and everybody murmurs it because they don't know what to say.

Speaker 6 Kids now also have ruined. I know you guys have kids, they say cha-cha-cha after every line.

Speaker 7 It's so annoying.

Speaker 6 Shut up, kids.

Speaker 59 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 60 Put it on the poll, please, at Lebatar Show.

Speaker 23 Shut up, kids.

Speaker 62 Also,

Speaker 15 okay, fine.

Speaker 23 Shut up, kids, cha-cha-cha, because it's your day, Billy.

Speaker 53 But Billy is right about this annoying thing.

Speaker 50 What do you guys have a go-to move when you arrive at the name of somebody whose name you do not know?

Speaker 59 You just mumble.

Speaker 20 Yeah, you mumble.

Speaker 28 But none of you have a go-to, like just anything.

Speaker 45 Say hello to this guy.

Speaker 38 So during happy birthday, if you can't summon the name, what do you do?

Speaker 24 Because you guys, this is a perfect time for that?

Speaker 37 Or everyone there is close enough to say Erlene?

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 32 Here, everyone would say Erlene.

Speaker 35 But if it's at our house,

Speaker 32 nobody knows what to say because she's Erlene to some of us. She's mom to some of us.
She's Nana to some of us. So when it comes down to the name, everybody's going,

Speaker 47 man.

Speaker 46 I strive. for the day where I can casually get invited to a birthday dinner where I don't know the person well enough to know their name.

Speaker 30 You're asking the person next to you, what's their name again?

Speaker 1 Yeah, this birthday seems capped.

Speaker 11 I know, she's a bad person.

Speaker 46 It feels like the floor is know their name.

Speaker 35 She's the boss of these people.

Speaker 32 Why would they not know her name?

Speaker 50 No, I thought that perhaps the significant others or the kids or other people who might not know that her name is Erlene because they're there as a family event and it's not just work people.

Speaker 38 I did think that most of those songs end up with somebody mumbling.

Speaker 30 Dad, did mom do the thing where she makes people get up and talk about her?

Speaker 25 There was a couple of those.

Speaker 36 My mom's big on that.

Speaker 20 Wait, like, what?

Speaker 30 At my birthday, it's like, all right, now, everybody, stand up and crazy.

Speaker 32 I actually stood up and said something that, despite the false allegation that I'd had too much to drink, I actually stood up just before that and said something that your mother acknowledged was very sweet.

Speaker 20 I'm sure you spoke quickly.

Speaker 32 You know, I like to be concise.

Speaker 46 Did you say that kind of thing?

Speaker 20 To conclude.

Speaker 35 No, I don't think I did.

Speaker 6 Wait, so like she makes all of her employees stand up and like say something nice. Well, makes

Speaker 30 is maybe putting it a little sharp.

Speaker 6 she's for sure gonna be mad that i'm saying this but yes at all my mom's yearly birthdays there's usually speeches right were they gifts did anyone did you notice any like over-eager gift givers there were gift given yeah it's another pressure

Speaker 15 it must suck for these people well her mom sounds terrible i'm not gonna lie you're painting her in a horrible light well i just i now want to recreate it i want to put you guys in that position make each of you stand up and say nice things about Greg or me.

Speaker 41 Just make all of you stand up in front of people and say it. Like, what is she doing there?

Speaker 50 What's happening?

Speaker 32 she's not making anybody say it's a voluntary there's a pressure though like there's a thing of like we got to do the thing now well especially if somebody is the first one to do it right if somebody does it then it's like all right who's next yeah like i don't recall i don't think i was the first one to do it but when somebody else stands up all of a sudden i feel obliged i bet lewis the head nodder said something didn't he

Speaker 31 no i don't think so

Speaker 31 he's the dopest boss bro

Speaker 49 oh i'm here for some flatigan's hot sauce bro i am here for limited fake lewis where's he been has he made an appearance before today well please please Limited Fake Lewis is somebody I want more of.

Speaker 46 You went three weeks with making an impression and not asking for more immediate. Like, congratulations, Billy.

Speaker 38 But that is Office Lewis.

Speaker 52 He's right there.

Speaker 19 And at the end, though, I don't think Lewis would like the appraisal very much that his enthusiasm is counterfeit because I think that's where he would object.

Speaker 38 He comes in here, good mood every day, trying to give off gratitude, and you guys just bury him with your bitterness.

Speaker 46 I'll start saying good things about Lewis.

Speaker 22 Lewis, your hair is small.

Speaker 64 What?

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Speaker 1 Folks, the leaves are turning.

Speaker 46 The weather's getting a little chillier. That means the football games are more important.

Speaker 13 That means football time should be Miller time.

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Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Speaker 5 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 3 Quiet man. Yes.

Speaker 32 You know, I'm a married man.

Speaker 12 I don't cheat on my wife, despite that gratuitous line in back in my year.

Speaker 32 I wish you were here, my wife. I really miss her.

Speaker 12 No, I don't. That's the thing about being married.
You know, you're not allowed to say, I don't miss my wife. I've been gone two days.
I haven't been gone long enough to miss my wife.

Speaker 3 I'm sorry. I call her.

Speaker 20 I'm going to sing with her.

Speaker 3 I'm going to get 30 seconds. You know, what am I? Hello.

Speaker 12 All right. All right.
We'll see you. All right.
And then, you know, I'm going to see her in two days. How's jumping, Charlie? Good.

Speaker 58 This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.

Speaker 18 Again, quote, I probably shouldn't have had that third old-fashioned is a place that I want to put it on your father's tombstone, honestly.

Speaker 53 In fact, I'd like to.

Speaker 2 Crowded tombstone.

Speaker 18 I know.

Speaker 28 I'd like to find some, please, let's have a competition, shall we?

Speaker 38 Let's have a DraftKing-sponsored competition that makes fun. Dark comedy.

Speaker 28 If I had legs, I'd kick you.

Speaker 38 It's a dark comedy. What do you put on Greg Cody's tombstone?

Speaker 25 Winner gets a great prize.

Speaker 41 The winner of Greg Cody's choosing gets a great prize because a good nominee to start the bidding is, quote, I probably shouldn't have had that third old-fashioned.

Speaker 15 I mean, that's been a life motto for him.

Speaker 11 Too wordy.

Speaker 43 Do you understand? Is it?

Speaker 68 Is that too wordy for a tombstone? I think we could fit it across the top.

Speaker 24 He's a writer, so he'd want to be efficient.

Speaker 53 He'd want to be remembered immortally with something that was well written.

Speaker 24 I really would like to do this as a competition to have Greg pick

Speaker 61 what a listener suggests should be the words on his tombstone.

Speaker 19 Should it just be that kind of thing?

Speaker 45 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Hey, that's at the end. That's towards the bottom.

Speaker 20 And you know.

Speaker 49 And you know it.

Speaker 40 Wait, so it's just going to be his catchphrases? Like, that's a fact, check?

Speaker 42 No,

Speaker 59 come on.

Speaker 35 Is he really dead?

Speaker 32 You never know.

Speaker 38 Would you be willing to do this?

Speaker 68 Would you be willing to have a DraftKings-sponsored contest that gives away your actual tombstone?

Speaker 32 Yeah, and then if I happen to pass away suddenly and unexpectedly, it'll be ironic.

Speaker 15 But are you allowing at the very end to DraftKings to sponsor your tombstone?

Speaker 35 Yeah, well, in real life?

Speaker 21 Yeah, no, not as a bit in real life.

Speaker 32 Oh, I mean, you know, first of all, I'm probably going to be, you know, cremated or something.

Speaker 43 But you just think it's going to say Greg Cody from 1843 to 2025?

Speaker 32 Oh, there'll be a saying on it. I don't know.

Speaker 30 I think you have a say in what happens to you.

Speaker 36 You're like, they're going to cremate me. I don't know what they're going to do with that.

Speaker 1 It's not like a grab bag and we figure out what to do with the body. You know what?

Speaker 20 Put it on the urn.

Speaker 32 Your wife and I probably have, or your mother and I probably have to have that conversation.

Speaker 11 What are your thoughts?

Speaker 21 You know, I go back and forth.

Speaker 20 How would you like to be remembered?

Speaker 11 I don't know.

Speaker 7 I go back and forth.

Speaker 6 You quoted yourself yesterday on the dry erase board.

Speaker 22 You want that quote on your tombstone?

Speaker 32 That's a little serious.

Speaker 35 Okay.

Speaker 32 Yeah, live your life with a plom and alacrity. I was thinking more of thousands waited in line to see my toenail.

Speaker 35 I think that would work.

Speaker 24 A bit self-involved, not much of a legacy.

Speaker 20 I like

Speaker 20 that. I like

Speaker 61 the poem and the wordplay of because it'd be a tombstone and he's not cremated.

Speaker 17 Guy don't want to earn U-R-N. Guy don't want to learn.

Speaker 47 Man, that's good.

Speaker 35 I like that.

Speaker 32 If I had a personal assistant, he or she would be writing that down right now.

Speaker 6 Have you ever thought of maybe like for like immortality, like making a cast of your great toe?

Speaker 6 Like you could go and you could make a mold of your great toe and then it could live on beyond your years.

Speaker 32 I think that's a great. I should do it right now because my right great toe is chipped and so it looks even more gruesome than that.

Speaker 35 Is that so?

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 32 And so I should do that.

Speaker 31 I should have a cast made.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 17 One of the most amazing things in this show's history is that thousands of people did a pilgrimage to see his toenail.

Speaker 18 And I don't know where that is now, but I would like to have that as an heirloom that carries on beyond you. I saw that Josh Johnson last night was doing a comedy routine about a Steelers fan.

Speaker 24 Wife, husband died, and she kept his tattoo.

Speaker 18 She kept his tattoo in a frame,

Speaker 18 took it off the body and kept it in a frame.

Speaker 24 We should have this way to remember Greg Cody by his sponsored toenail, which would become then

Speaker 24 an artifact and a religion that celebrates his death.

Speaker 27 It's one of the most amazing things this show has ever done.

Speaker 38 Thousands of people gathered to see his toe that Stugatz has now cut twice.

Speaker 25 Where is that toenail?

Speaker 11 Do we know?

Speaker 32 I have a toenail

Speaker 32 in a plastic case.

Speaker 30 But it's not that toenail.

Speaker 32 I don't know in my office, and I think it is that toenail.

Speaker 6 Well, why would it be that?

Speaker 20 Because you still have it.

Speaker 20 Great question, Chris. Great question.

Speaker 15 All right.

Speaker 50 I think that's worth a lot of money.

Speaker 30 It's like, I have a a toenail. I just got to make sure it's the same one.

Speaker 53 I believe that's worth a lot of money right now.

Speaker 32 Yeah, I think it is the same one now that you mentioned it.

Speaker 24 It must be.

Speaker 49 We're going to need to get that authenticated because he can just start pretending, and now it doesn't become an heirloom or a collectible of any kind.

Speaker 32 We'll do a DNA test.

Speaker 38 But he's got disgusting feet, and they.

Speaker 35 They're muscular feet.

Speaker 47 They're warlocky. Okay.

Speaker 35 Warlocky. I like that.

Speaker 56 I mean, but am I wrong?

Speaker 20 I'm proud of my feet.

Speaker 35 You can't be proud of them.

Speaker 32 They're muscular, they're veins.

Speaker 60 They're talons. They're masculine.

Speaker 8 They're a giant bird of prey, an ostrich.

Speaker 30 Speaking of celebrating my dad, Dan, while you were out, AI made a statue of my dad and recreating his famous.

Speaker 20 Tell me that doesn't look like Poppy.

Speaker 30 When you zoom in on the face, when you zoom in on the face, there are poppy vibes to it, but it's clearly you, Dan.

Speaker 24 Greg Cody, I don't know if we could do this visually, but Greg Cody has, throughout his career, he has teetered, and this is a strange thing, I don't really understand it, between people saying that he looks more like my father or Jeffrey Lauria, the former owner of the Marlins.

Speaker 41 That if you did an evolutionary chart of how people would look as they age, that somewhere between Lauria and my father, Greg Cody resides, even though I think Greg is younger than Lauria.

Speaker 35 Yeah, I'm definitely younger than both.

Speaker 32 We actually

Speaker 30 have a photo from yesterday of my dad, Carl Pavano, David Sampson, and Mike Hill.

Speaker 6 We can put up right here.

Speaker 8 Now, look at this weirdo.

Speaker 38 What is David Sampson doing on his toes there?

Speaker 39 Somebody explained.

Speaker 30 Also, the tan line, if you zoom in on those Samson feet.

Speaker 16 Good golly.

Speaker 57 Okay, look, Samson's having all sorts of problems here.

Speaker 24 Why is he on his tippy toes?

Speaker 26 Does he always move?

Speaker 44 Yeah, that's his move in photos.

Speaker 56 But wait a minute.

Speaker 6 He's only 65 inches.

Speaker 38 He still looks like he's their toddler.

Speaker 30 But that is my dad in that photo.

Speaker 36 Yeah, no, I know they're zooming in on the feet now, but that's clearly Greg Cody.

Speaker 32 I wish I looked like Jeffrey Laurie's bank account.

Speaker 35 I'll tell you.

Speaker 24 Okay, that's my dad's joke right there.

Speaker 53 That my dad has said.

Speaker 56 I love Poppy.

Speaker 23 My father has made that joke forever.

Speaker 17 I don't want to look like him.

Speaker 70 I just want to have his money. Okay.

Speaker 19 That now that's you. That's you're going to use it.

Speaker 32 Bank account's a little funnier than the word money.

Speaker 1 What would Poppy do with his money?

Speaker 5 Like, if he had his money right now, what would he do with it?

Speaker 24 Well, this is what my mother keeps saying to him.

Speaker 40 What are we saving it for?

Speaker 21 We're in our 80s.

Speaker 28 Like, what have we been saving?

Speaker 56 This is the exile mentality.

Speaker 28 My parents have been afraid since they got here.

Speaker 15 And, like, you think what's happening in this country right now isn't scary too?

Speaker 52 Like, like, my parents have been saving money since they got here, terrified, grateful to just live here, grateful to have this country give them all sorts of freedom.

Speaker 43 And my mom's now riding him into the ground.

Speaker 37 Disney's, this is the wonder of it.

Speaker 24 Disney's still paying my father.

Speaker 20 This is like Bobby Bonilla.

Speaker 24 In retirement, because he's retired on however it is that the pensions pay out.

Speaker 56 Wow.

Speaker 38 So my father is sitting here.

Speaker 51 He's the only one still collecting from Disney.

Speaker 43 My father now just owns 10% of the NFL.

Speaker 11 Or how does that work?

Speaker 39 Or what's the math on that?

Speaker 53 Boppy was asking the other day.

Speaker 41 How much, how much of ESPN do I own now that the NFL owns 10% of ESPN?

Speaker 34 Does he still get those passes?

Speaker 20 A lifetime. Oh, man.

Speaker 56 I mean, my father, I don't think there's been a mercenary in the history of ESPN or Disney who've gotten away with more than my father did.

Speaker 25 They're still paying him.

Speaker 56 At the end, he pretended he was holding out because he just wanted to quit and couldn't tell me. And he said, they're not paying me enough.

Speaker 11 And he strong-armed them. Like, they caved.

Speaker 69 He didn't want to raise. He just wanted to leave.

Speaker 15 He didn't want to work anymore and didn't want to tell me.

Speaker 7 Good for him.

Speaker 31 Good for him.

Speaker 32 I'm glad he's. I'm shocked he's still being paid by Disney.

Speaker 31 More power to him.

Speaker 32 Looks like me.

Speaker 60 Who do you get that most with?

Speaker 20 Lauria or

Speaker 24 my father? Because it doesn't make any sense that you would look like my father.

Speaker 36 He's an old Cuban man.

Speaker 32 I know, but look at that gold statue. I mean, to me, that's your dad and that statue, not me.
So we must look alike. And I used to hear Lauria all the time.
Mike says Lyndon Baines Johnson.

Speaker 35 Yeah, Lyndon B.

Speaker 46 Johnson for me.

Speaker 11 LBJ.

Speaker 32 LBJ. Of course, everyone knows that in my ute, I used to be likened to Tom Cruise.
They used to call me Greg Cutie.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 30 Kristen, who works for us here, has been asking me, like, do we want to do this?

Speaker 29 And I'm like, that probably would be expensive.

Speaker 1 I would like, she's like, where would we put it?

Speaker 10 I want this thing.

Speaker 5 I think we need this house.

Speaker 46 Let's start at the big toe. We'll make a bust of his face.

Speaker 6 Let's put a foot casting project inside the slack so someone can figure out the supplies we need to cast his feet.

Speaker 32 I'd like a real statue, you know, rather than me one deep frying a turkey.

Speaker 11 What would you be doing? Oh, come on, Greg.

Speaker 28 You're gonna take yourself so seriously at the end.

Speaker 43 This is you want it.

Speaker 20 All right, let's have artists concoct yours.

Speaker 40 You want a Civil War statue of you being serious, like commemorated as a great writer?

Speaker 32 Maybe that would be funny, too.

Speaker 11 Don't get me wrong.

Speaker 35 Which one do you want? What's your idea?

Speaker 20 How do you want to be remembered? How do you want to be remembered?

Speaker 32 I just noticed that you can actually see the turkey either submerging in

Speaker 54 or rising to the bottom.

Speaker 13 Chris, when Chris says i want that it's not as a joke that's a loving reminder of you that's what you look like doing you're right let's do that statue let's make it slightly larger than life's where would we put it make me about 6'1.

Speaker 45 6'1?

Speaker 35 Yeah, slightly larger than life.

Speaker 32 That's what you do with a statue. Ron Frazier's statue at UM is like 6'5 or something.

Speaker 11 Is it still there in front of?

Speaker 32 Or did they quietly remove it? No, I think it's still there.

Speaker 11 Okay, good.

Speaker 16 This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Man, these days are getting way too short.
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Speaker 34 Holidays, fun.

Speaker 66 Holidays as a dad?

Speaker 21 Tough.

Speaker 66 Travel, gifts, matching pajamas. Don't get me started on matching pajamas.
It's hot in Miami. My wife says, why don't you want to do this with us? My daughter's crying.

Speaker 11 Anyways, school parties, hosting a family.

Speaker 66 Next thing I know, I basically put Christmas on my credit card and have no idea what I spent where.

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Speaker 66 That's 50% off your first year at monarchmoney.com with code DAN. And don't give me those matching pajamas.

Speaker 6 I swear.

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Speaker 5 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 20 My wife says this in a sexy voice.

Speaker 5 It really is.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'm hard. Thank you.

Speaker 45 Wow.

Speaker 5 Stugats.

Speaker 20 So am I, actually. I don't know why.

Speaker 58 This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Speaker 2 No, I like the idea of a statue.

Speaker 32 I obviously would like it in my own front yard. You know, like

Speaker 51 I would prefer.

Speaker 6 We did this last week, and we turned it into a mailbox.

Speaker 32 Yeah, it could be a, well, it's a little big for a mailbox.

Speaker 46 We can just put it in the Riley corner. He hasn't done anything lately.

Speaker 11 Yeah, is he wearing a hat?

Speaker 54 Is he wearing a hat?

Speaker 72 No, that's a plant to look at.

Speaker 59 Oh,

Speaker 62 looks like a green bird.

Speaker 55 Look at this.

Speaker 11 This is the old.

Speaker 20 One or the other.

Speaker 46 Listen up.

Speaker 5 Time to think fast.

Speaker 32 Is this a real or fake podcast?

Speaker 56 Wait a minute.

Speaker 73 Wait a minute.

Speaker 73 The placement of Riley has made it that because a plant is behind him,

Speaker 63 a confused Greg Cody just made it a green dildo that we had put on Pat Riley's head.

Speaker 32 Tell me it doesn't look like he's wearing

Speaker 5 a green beret.

Speaker 32 Yeah. A little bit.
Thank you for your service, Pat.

Speaker 46 From that angle, I even get the dough reference. Dan? Thank you.

Speaker 27 Let's hope that you're sharp.

Speaker 46 After three and a half weeks away, we've had a handful of games. Yesterday, we had a really tightly contested one.
We learned together that Darren Revell actually does not actively have a podcast.

Speaker 46 Defying the odds. As Greg said, he's the one.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 32 I mean, like that.

Speaker 46 Cafe Conlindor with Francisco Lindor.

Speaker 21 No, real or fake.

Speaker 72 It's not a podcast.

Speaker 67 I don't believe that Francisco Lindor has any interest in doing a podcast off the field.

Speaker 5 That is a real podcast.

Speaker 47 Get the hell out of here.

Speaker 69 No, no, it is not. Look it up.

Speaker 32 I love it.

Speaker 46 Club 619 with Rey Mysterio.

Speaker 47 Real or fake?

Speaker 73 Do you know who Rey Mysterio is?

Speaker 32 He's a wrestler, right?

Speaker 73 One of the most famous

Speaker 73 acrobatic masked wrestlers. The most famous masked wrestler of all time, right?

Speaker 64 Isn't that right?

Speaker 46 Look, there's evidence of Cafe Conlim Door on our screen.

Speaker 38 That's unbelievable. So it's a breakfast show?

Speaker 24 Is he doing it in English or Spanish?

Speaker 6 I don't know if it's a breakfast show.

Speaker 32 That's a nice logo.

Speaker 5 Look, man, I just learned about this thing yesterday.

Speaker 24 I couldn't believe it. It's stunning.

Speaker 27 He has a host, right? He has a host.

Speaker 46 Well, the host name ain't on Cafe Conlim Door. You don't think he can carry a show?

Speaker 24 Well, I just, the last time I spoke to him, his English was, I don't know whether he's doing it in English or Spanish.

Speaker 72 It's not Spanish. But his, yeah, that's what I was asking.

Speaker 46 Now that it's real, you can subscribe.

Speaker 20 Look, he's going,

Speaker 73 the marketing on this, this is why I will celebrate this. Please put this up on the screen here so that we can advertise.

Speaker 18 I'd like a relationship with Cafe Con Lindor,

Speaker 73 especially if he's doing it in Spanish.

Speaker 27 This is a Spanish-style kitchen.

Speaker 73 This looks like my grandmother's kitchen.

Speaker 24 This would only be a breakfast time show, and it would be in Spanish. I don't know.

Speaker 57 I don't think he can do that show in English from the last time I talked to him when he spoke English.

Speaker 46 Well, the beauty of a podcast is it doesn't have to be a breakfast time show, it could be an anytime show. Stop running away from Club 619 with Rey Mysterio.

Speaker 5 Is it real or fake? I say yes.

Speaker 73 Real.

Speaker 24 And I was asking questions about Mysterio.

Speaker 73 He is the most famous mass wrestler of all time. Zaslo's been bothering me.
Look, Zaslo's on a hot streak.

Speaker 73 He's been bothering me about he wants to do a wrestling show.

Speaker 24 Badly wants to do a wrestling show.

Speaker 20 For years I've been trying to do it.

Speaker 38 For years, he wants to do a wrestling show.

Speaker 37 And I just threw out there, Mysterio, most famous mass wrestler of all time, right?

Speaker 72 Who's Who's second? I don't know.

Speaker 24 And it went nowhere.

Speaker 19 I think, yeah, probably. Most famous? Luchador.

Speaker 46 Gracia. Real or fake podcast.

Speaker 73 That's a fake podcast. I don't believe that that's real.

Speaker 46 It is a fake podcast.

Speaker 46 Now what with Gary Vee?

Speaker 47 Or now what with Gary Vee?

Speaker 57 Well, but

Speaker 19 yeah, well, I don't know if that's the name of it, but Gary Vee is doing something like that.

Speaker 73 Is that the name of it?

Speaker 46 Gary could be a guy that has plenty of podcasts.

Speaker 32 Who's Gary Vee?

Speaker 6 That's what Dan said once on our show. To Gary Vee's face.

Speaker 68 An entrepreneur of great fame that's an influencer who has a lot of voice and big into garage sales.

Speaker 67 And is really good at making money.

Speaker 46 Is this a real or fake podcast? Now what?

Speaker 73 With Gary Vee? I'm going to say it's real, yes.

Speaker 35 Real.

Speaker 70 Fake. That's not the name of it, right?

Speaker 46 Okay. Get in the game with former Detroit Lions kicker Jason Hansen.

Speaker 35 Real or fake?

Speaker 46 Get in the game with Jason Hansen.

Speaker 73 Alright, here's my dilemma with this game.

Speaker 17 You're not that imaginative.

Speaker 53 You're not that creative.

Speaker 24 I know you. I've seen your work.

Speaker 5 I made a f ⁇ ing musical guy.

Speaker 19 There's no reason.

Speaker 17 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 15 Wait, what was that guy doing in the middle? I made as a taunt.

Speaker 42 As a taunt.

Speaker 41 I made a f ⁇ ing musical guy.

Speaker 5 You've been gone for a while. That's what he calls you now.
Yeah.

Speaker 32 When's that guy coming back?

Speaker 41 You're not creative enough

Speaker 50 to invent that.

Speaker 40 That has to be real.

Speaker 28 That's too ridiculous to be fake.

Speaker 46 Is that in the game with Jason Hansen?

Speaker 25 It can't be real.

Speaker 20 It shouldn't be real.

Speaker 67 It can't be real. It should not be real.

Speaker 73 There's no reason that anyone should pay for that in this economy.

Speaker 46 So are you saying it's real? Because it can't be?

Speaker 17 That's right.

Speaker 32 I'm saying it's not real.

Speaker 28 It can't be.

Speaker 63 it can't be real it can't be but it can't it can't be it cannot be but i'm saying it's real just because i'm testing your imagination you wouldn't make that up

Speaker 64 it's real wow

Speaker 40 damn cold wow all right final one and i know you made a musical guy and i'm saying you're not that creative last one soups on with jeff supon

Speaker 32 oh love it love it is soups on s-u-p though or is it su S-U- You know, like? Like follow-up.

Speaker 7 How is it?

Speaker 46 It's conventional spelling. Okay.

Speaker 63 No, but that's a great question he's asking.

Speaker 1 You want to use it in a sentence?

Speaker 30 Just to see where Mike's at on it. I like it.

Speaker 51 Go ahead. Let's do this.

Speaker 26 Greg, go ahead.

Speaker 38 How does this work? How does this spelled?

Speaker 51 What is the graphic for this? Soup Son with Jeff Soupon has to be spelled S-U-P apostrophe.

Speaker 32 I would think so, but I think you can still get away with a soup bowl, with a spoon, with a little picture of a tendril of smoke coming up from the heat, coming up from the soup.

Speaker 46 I think you would confuse the audience because they would say, Sup, Ann?

Speaker 24 You know?

Speaker 11 Yeah, it's

Speaker 11 on.

Speaker 32 What's up?

Speaker 57 Yeah, and then we get fouled up.

Speaker 18 All right. So, no, that can't be a podcast.

Speaker 73 I think it is.

Speaker 46 It's fake.

Speaker 5 Welcome back, guy.

Speaker 73 Thank you.

Speaker 24 I've missed that game.

Speaker 18 I missed you guys.

Speaker 24 And I want to come up with Greg's Tombstone sponsored by DraftKings.

Speaker 18 Please help me figure out what the writers around our show.

Speaker 17 What are we saying the limits on this has to be? Because you don't want too many words.

Speaker 1 I mean, it depends on the fonts. You can fit a lot, you know?

Speaker 38 You will disqualify yourself, I think, if, well, Greg is so self-involved.

Speaker 18 You saw the most engaged he's been in 10 years is when you guys asked him about his statue and how serious he is about wanting it to be 6-1 and being in his front yard.

Speaker 18 We made fun of Pudge because he had a giant statue that was in his yard.

Speaker 24 It was a giant gold statue of Pudge in catching gear here in Miami that was in his yard. It was ridiculous.

Speaker 8 It was golden.

Speaker 60 It was godlike.

Speaker 57 And the last time I saw Pudge Pudge

Speaker 24 walking through the lobby of a hotel, because I'm so awkward, I just asked him, where's the statue?

Speaker 61 Because we made fun of it for years, that he would have a statue of himself in his yard.

Speaker 24 And he said it was being shipped to Texas and that they are now having it outside their stadium, which they should.

Speaker 6 Well, no, they made a different statue for him. So he might have thought that you were actually interested in the statue they were making in his honor.
Yeah.

Speaker 46 To have multiple statues.

Speaker 18 You really want a a statue of yourself for your yard?

Speaker 17 If we got it for you, you would put it in your yard? I would love it.

Speaker 37 Your wife would let you do that?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I would build a whole thing around it.

Speaker 32 Like it would be like in a garden type situation.

Speaker 32 We would decorate, we would landscape around the statue. And I would also like a very lightweight version of that statue that I could carry around with me.

Speaker 32 Like if I'm going on a trip or something, I could carry a statue of myself under my arm if it weighs like 10 pounds or less.

Speaker 11 Like a bowling, bowling, think of it as like a bowling ball, you know.

Speaker 35 Weight, weight-wise.

Speaker 17 Why would you want to carry this around?

Speaker 47 It would be fun.

Speaker 35 Yeah. Hey, look at that guy over there carrying a statue.

Speaker 32 Is that a statue of himself?

Speaker 8 Is that Joe Biden? Did he win an Oscar?

Speaker 5 Carrying a statue.

Speaker 54 Sitting around the kitchen table and Scranton.

Speaker 30 You hear Joe Biden, you're like, all right, time to play the hits.

Speaker 35 Bring back Joe Biden.

Speaker 32 I mean my imitation of him. I don't mean Joe.
God rest his soul.

Speaker 20 Not that he's dead. Wait, he's alive.
What?

Speaker 35 Yeah, he's still good. He's still kicking.

Speaker 45 All right.

Speaker 45 He had legs. Yeah.

Speaker 6 He has legs. We know that.
Just Choke Walker.

Speaker 6 Yeah, if he had legs, he'd kick you.

Speaker 42 I don't understand what that movie's about.

Speaker 38 And I...

Speaker 38 And there's not a torso involved in that movie, right?

Speaker 50 There's not someone without legs in that movie.

Speaker 1 I mean, the title is a little bit deceiving, I'll be honest.

Speaker 38 That's the greatest title I've ever heard for a movie.

Speaker 61 Put it on the poll at Lebatard Show.

Speaker 17 Have you ever heard a better title for a movie than If I Had Legs, I'd Kick You.

Speaker 46 Well, I would assume that someone does not have legs or is bound to a wheelchair.

Speaker 5 If not,

Speaker 45 that's a terrible title for the movie. Right?

Speaker 20 I think it's great.

Speaker 32 I think it sounds like a comedian's biography title.

Speaker 42 I want to know.

Speaker 50 I want to watch this movie and I want to know what it's about.

Speaker 24 I should know what it's about. And you said it was not horror.

Speaker 61 It is dark comedy.

Speaker 1 ASAP Rocky's in it.

Speaker 24 Can we please examine for a moment how Erlene Cody is going to feel about today's show and the talk of her office? Your father is not a good friend by his definitions. I would not say that.

Speaker 24 I think he's a masterful, wonderful friend.

Speaker 70 I love him.

Speaker 18 I'll always love him, obviously.

Speaker 24 But he doesn't think he's a very good friend. And it's because he can make it to be hard to be friends with him.

Speaker 61 You have to chase after him.

Speaker 24 It's not, he's not coming to you.

Speaker 68 It's not, he's not making phone calls.

Speaker 60 He's not trying to, and I think that's why he identifies as

Speaker 24 a self-proclaimed bad friend.

Speaker 53 I don't think he is one.

Speaker 32 Yeah, I'm not an attentive friend, I would say, if I'm self-analyzing.

Speaker 60 And so

Speaker 24 when I'm saying that there's a birthday party with office workers who I don't think he would call any of those people his friends.

Speaker 38 They're your mother's employees, I think.

Speaker 20 Coworkers, but yes.

Speaker 73 Yeah, yeah and and so and and he likes them and he's close to them but only so close correct I mean there's a couple of people in that room that I think I would call friends but if you're asking what my mom's gonna think of this I think she's gonna be fine with most of it except for me saying that she makes people talk about her all right so you go that's the part that I'm worried about you keep crossing the line and we'll see how we enrage your Ling Cody because that's uh I want to get to the bottom of how she feels about all of this because I think she has to get people up to speak about her because she's raised three toddlers who are not likely to tell their mother how much they love and respect and admire her in ways that she has heard very often because they're all constipated repreps young boys even her husband and so that and but but i've never heard your father speak more lovingly or more poradically about anybody than when he jumping charlie when he speak except for jumping charlie when he speaks of his love for your mother which is the very most of the romantic things yeah i i can't express how much I admire, not just love, but admire her.

Speaker 32 But I think something needs to be said about that video that I am just now realizing she never noticed until she saw the video that someone else took that I was on my phone during the song why does that make it different because it's not like she was upset by it it's not like she was elbowing me like what are you doing you know she didn't even know that why does that make it better

Speaker 32 Because it in real time, it didn't hurt her feelings, it didn't insult her.

Speaker 6 And yestery, he would have been able to get away with that.

Speaker 35 Yeah, because everybody's not.

Speaker 33 No, everybody's a photographer.

Speaker 5 Everybody's got photography.

Speaker 11 except you, including you.

Speaker 6 I would argue that you did more to pay attention and give her your full attention than the person videoing it because they were on their phone, you were not.

Speaker 6 You were only for a portion of the time, but you were trying to be in the moment.

Speaker 32 I was very

Speaker 2 essentially treating her birthday like an Erica Badu concert, whatever that means.

Speaker 32 Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 59 She was at the funeral last night.

Speaker 6 I know she took away people's phones. I heard.

Speaker 70 Oh, that's the best Miami there is.

Speaker 32 Erica Badu. Badu.
She wears

Speaker 32 a hat, right?

Speaker 20 Oh, boy. She's the hat for me.

Speaker 6 Do you know the names of any of the people in that video? Let's just move on to something else.

Speaker 25 Sure, I do. Good work by you, Billy.

Speaker 46 What are their names? She was wearing a hat last night from the video that I saw.

Speaker 8 Thank you.

Speaker 46 And it was cell phone video from another venue.

Speaker 1 Dad, what are those coworkers?

Speaker 30 What are those coworkers' names?

Speaker 32 Well, that's Cam and his wife and the nodding person at the end. I'm not positive.

Speaker 20 So you got one-third, one-third.

Speaker 59 I have Cam and his wife,

Speaker 25 one of the attorneys.

Speaker 38 All right, so if we quizzed you on, if we quizzed you on the 17 people that were there, how many of the names would you know?

Speaker 50 More or less than half?

Speaker 45 Less.

Speaker 32 In terms of being able to name them? Yes, yes.

Speaker 5 Well, that's part.

Speaker 30 That's how you know someone's name. Yeah, less than half.

Speaker 6 But what if it was like a lineup for like a crime and you had to say criminal or lean's co-worker? You could pick them out of a lineup, surely.

Speaker 32 Most of them, maybe more than criminal.

Speaker 50 You've gone too far, but how else would you know someone's name other than to know their name?

Speaker 32 To name them?

Speaker 11 I mean, you know, I don't, I don't, I never take a quiz.

Speaker 32 I never go to my wife's office.

Speaker 33 I don't socialize with these people.

Speaker 32 Some of them I do, but not the people in that room.

Speaker 6 How many people here could you name?

Speaker 7 Everyone.

Speaker 51 Oh, let's play that game next time.

Speaker 20 I'm not going to take a quiz.

Speaker 31 No, I'm not doing that.

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