The Big Suey: Shut Up, Kids (Cha-Cha-Cha!)

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Welcome to the Big Sue,

presented by DraftKings.

Why are you listening to this show?

It's a podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebetard podcast.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only only difference seems to be this imaging.

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's prize that if they're just there.

If that hasn't happened to you guys, I've done it.

And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

This episode is presented about DraftKings.

DraftKings, the crown is yours.

A number of different things that I wish to get to, including Greg Cody.

I don't know what controversy this has caused in the house.

I know Greg Cody does not want us to play a video that we are going to play anyway over his objections because he's embarrassed by it, but I don't know the nature of the embarrassment.

And before I play the video,

Chris, can you give me some family context to this?

Why is your father embarrassed that we're doing this against his will?

My mother celebrates her birthday this upcoming weekend.

And this past weekend, her work family took her out for their, which they do.

Whenever someone celebrates a birthday, my dad goes to these dinners.

I believe you complained about, and maybe I'm revealing too much because some people may listen, you only knew like two or three of 17 people or something.

I probably knew three or four of 18 people well enough to have a casual conversation, but that's okay.

It's her party, not mine.

Right.

So then they get to the end of the meal where they're, of course, singing happy birthday.

And you would think, other than my mom, who needs to be the most interested in

this song?

Like, we can't have...

Well, that's true.

She's a boss and this is a work thing.

It's a bunch of kiss asses.

Oh, trust me.

And this is.

Everyone here, like, my mom is the boss here.

So

Billy's nailing it.

Like, everybody for sure is, like, not wanting to be at this dinner, and they're all just putting on a show for my mom.

Like, that's undeniable.

Well, wait a minute.

Everyone loves your mother.

That's what they, you know, no.

At work.

Believe me, that's bona fide.

Well, so what we have here is the, we're going to jump.

I don't want you to throw it to the video just yet.

I want to set some of the family context of this because we have 17 people at a dinner and I know your father, he wants her birthday to be about him.

Like he can say it's her party.

It's not what he wants.

It's her party, but he'll cry if he wants to.

Like he wants, he wants to be seen here.

And these are people who work for your mother.

And he doesn't really want to talk to any of them.

Talk to two or three of them.

They're going to ask him, hey, dolphin, seven and a half, over, under, he's bored.

He doesn't want to be there.

Okay.

All right.

There's another backdrop to this video, and it's that.

I probably shouldn't have had that third old-fashioned.

My mom always criticizes him.

When he gets into the brown, It's it's a scary thing, and I love how he says third old-fashioned while in this video he's holding a glass of wine.

So, mixing, yeah.

Oh, no,

there may be Ubered, there may have been a couple of beers before we left the house in a pre-game party.

Well, I have a theory about this video because I did see it before the show, and that applies some content.

Yes, and I, what we're gonna play here, this is more visual.

So, all you're gonna hear here is them singing happy birthday, but what you're gonna see is a very uninterested husband of the birthday girl.

Let's play it.

Happy girl.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Happy girl.

Oh, no.

So

as he's.

So what you miss there, if you're not watching, is my dad just in the middle of the song, not singing, not mouthing the words, just casually looking at his phone.

Okay.

Boy, what a side profile there on the Cody nose.

I was scrolling my phone real quickly to try to take a video of them singing happy birthday before I ended up.

Oh, come on.

That was my theory.

That was my theory.

It was like a third.

You gave up.

He was struggling.

You could see the screen never changes.

He couldn't do what he was trying to do.

We're three-quarters of the way into the song.

And I've been crying the whole time.

You could have been singing along, but you were.

I've been trying the whole time.

We see you grab your phone to lift it up.

Okay, the logo, the camera logo on my phone has disappeared.

I now have to

keep poking the camera logo.

I now have to click a button and start spelling camera to get.

Everyone, please back off because this is a gold mine.

There is a gold mine here on, what you guys are noticing here is

this is your father, Chris, after,

quote, I probably shouldn't have had that third old-fashioned.

Your father is wrecked here and

his functions are not going to work correctly.

Look, he's bad at technology under all circumstances.

The funniest part of this is that nothing on your father's phones changes.

He's simply, he's stuck at password.

And there are clearly people already videoing this.

So like, but two-thirds of the way through the song, you have the idea.

Someone should be videoing this.

Let me get my phone.

While seven people around the table are videoing.

I wanted to be the guy videoing it.

By the way, I haven't fallen down any flights of stairs lately.

Oh, come on, man.

I'm just saying.

Neither have I, according to them.

I mean, you know.

You fell down some stairs.

Different.

Okay.

But it's just like uninterested.

Like, oh, should I take a video?

Oh, that's part of it.

It wasn't even a birthday cake.

It was like a brown cake.

Yeah, that's a very sad little piece of punch.

But just at the end, like the half-hearted, just like, oh, good.

That song's over.

I love when he looks up defeated.

Like, let me just get back to programming.

I won't jump in and sing.

And again,

you're throwing stones here.

While you haven't fallen down some stairs, I'm pretty sure Dan's arms haven't gushed blood because he just ran into a threshold.

All right.

That's fair.

But, you know, that kind of thing.

When's her actual birthday?

This seems like it was a fake birthday.

The 22nd.

The birthday is the 22nd.

It's birthday month in my house.

I mean, I do nothing but celebrate that.

Because we're taking her out to dinner this weekend, so she did her work thing the weekend before.

And she and I are going off Friday night.

I mean, it's like a big birthday month.

Enough.

And so the fact I didn't sing because she's blowing out the candle in a cupcake, you know, is not a big deal.

How old is she turning?

We don't want to talk about that.

Well, just is it like a significant milestone?

No, no, it isn't.

Oh, then ridiculous.

It's not a major birthday.

Why do you even need to go to a work birthday?

You don't work with her.

Well, you know, that could be said, but I wanted to support my wife.

You know, nobody supports her like I do.

I'm not sure.

Not financially, but otherwise.

No one supports her.

You're literally in the video not supporting her.

I mean, I'm looking at the people in the back that seem somewhat disinterested in even the singing.

There's a guy at the end that he's like faking the, you know, Bob's song.

Oh, he's nodding his head.

What do you mean?

Yeah, that's not enthusiasm.

That's not singing like you're really wishing someone a happy birthday.

It's like the Jay-Z gyp.

What is?

his happy birthday?

That's effort right there.

Bob's office, Lewis over there.

Happy birthday to him, by the way.

It is Lewis's birthday, actually.

Oh, Bob.

Look at that eye roll he just did.

I hope that guy's not getting a bonus.

Happy birthday, dear Louis.

Watch the eye roll.

Happy birthday.

At the end, about a second.

Let's see.

Oh, wow.

Whoa.

Why do you there?

Whoa.

Greg didn't roll his eyes.

Okay, so a lot to examine here.

They're uninterested.

Could they lawyers?

Could they sue us?

A lot to examine here.

I want to examine all of it because I am going to defend my friend here, even though the optics on this are horrible.

Like, he picks up his phone.

It looks like he's distracted immediately.

No interest in happy birthday for his wife.

The optics are horrible.

And this is what I'm telling you, though, Chris.

I've seen your father in this condition when he still still doesn't know what order to drink these drinks in.

He ruined my brother's very first exhibition, knocking paintings off the wall because he does not know the order to drink.

So if he's already had beer and wine, you can't go three old-fashions.

Like you can't start mixing these in orders where he's already screwed up, no matter what his tolerance level is.

This is your father at his very cognitively slowest.

He can't do it.

I should pick up my phone.

He can't put it back here.

He can't do shit here.

Like, he's along for the ride.

He didn't want to go in and be out with these people.

He's so tired of Office Lewis and his fake ways, overlaughing at mom's jokes.

Bobbing his head.

Yeah, good song.

These people are dead inside.

They don't want to be there any more than your father does.

And your father handles it every year by drinking too much.

No, that's not true.

Greg, there's a story I remember from you ruining one of these things where you actually had a lampshade on your head.

In his defense, he doesn't need a birthday party to do that.

Greg, Greg, how many years ago was the office party that you had to change your office party behavior because at the end of the night you had a lampshade on your head?

I don't catalog all that kind of stuff.

You know, it says there's so much going on.

This video does one thing.

It shows how much I love my wife.

No, it doesn't.

Okay, because

my priority right then was being hell-bent to record this song.

Three-quarters of the way into the song.

You had the idea.

This is a late reaction.

You just need the wish at the end of blowing out of the candle.

You fast fast forward through the rest of the happy birthday i love the half-hearted like him clapping trying to like look i've been involved the whole time

the idea you got to sing happy birthday is such a oh really i really don't like that song at all nobody likes it nobody wants to sing it you know and and and if it's like if you're singing it for somebody who's like a bird a wife to you and an aunt to you and a nana to you what name do you say nobody knows what to say when it comes down to the name and everybody murmurs it because they don't know what to say.

Kids now also have ruined.

I know you guys have kids.

they say cha-cha-cha after every line.

It's so annoying.

Shut up, kids.

Yeah, exactly.

Put it on the poll, please, at Lebatar Show.

Shut up, kids.

Also,

okay, fine.

Shut up, kids, cha-cha-cha, because it's your day, Billy.

But Billy is right about this annoying thing.

What do you guys have a go-to move when you arrive at the name of somebody whose name you do not know?

You just mumble.

Yeah, you mumble.

But none of you have a go-to, like just anything.

Say hello to this guy.

So during happy birthday, if you can't summon the name, what do you do?

Because you guys, this is a perfect time for that.

Or everyone there is close enough to say Erlene?

Oh, yeah.

Here, everyone would say Erlene.

But if it's at our house,

nobody knows what to say because she's Erlene to some of us.

She's mom to some of us.

She's Nana to some of us.

So when it comes down to the name, everybody's going,

man.

I strive.

for the day where I can casually get invited to a birthday dinner where I don't know the person well enough to know their name.

You're asking the person next to you, what's their name again?

Yeah, this birthday seems capped.

It feels like the floor is know their name.

She's the boss of these people.

Why would they not know her name?

No, I thought that perhaps the significant others or the kids or other people who might not know that her name is Erlene because they're there as a family event and it's not just work people.

I did think that most of those songs end up with somebody mumbling.

Dad, did mom do the thing where she makes people get up and talk about her?

There was a couple of those.

My mom's big on that.

Wait, like what?

At my birthday, it's like, all right, now, everybody, stand up and crazy.

I actually stood up and said something that, despite the false allegation that I'd had too much to drink, I actually stood up just before that and said something that your mother acknowledged was very sweet.

I'm sure you spoke quickly.

You know, I like to be concise.

Did you say that kind of thing?

To conclude.

No, I don't think I did.

Wait, so like she makes all of her employees stand up and like say something nice.

Well,

makes is maybe putting it a little sharp.

She's for sure going to be mad that I'm saying this.

But yes, at all my mom's yearly birthdays, there's usually speeches.

Were they gifts?

Did anyone, did you notice any like over-eager gift givers?

There were gift given.

It's another pressure.

It must suck for these people.

Well, her mom sounds terrible.

I'm not going to lie.

You're painting her in a horrible light.

Well, I just, I now want to recreate it.

I want to put you guys in that position.

Make each of you stand up and say nice things about Greg or me.

Just make all of you stand up in front of people and say it.

Like, what is she doing there?

What's happening?

She's not making anybody say it.

It's a voluntary.

There's a pressure, though.

Like, there's a thing of, like, we got to do the thing now.

Well, especially if somebody is the first one to do it.

Right.

If somebody does it, then it's like, all right, who's next?

Yeah, like, I don't recall.

I don't think I was the first one to do it.

But when somebody else stands up, all of a sudden I feel obliged.

I bet Lewis, the head nodder, said something, didn't he?

No, I don't think so.

He's the dopest boss, bro.

Oh, I'm here for Lucifer.

Here's some Flanagan's hot sauce, bro.

I am here for Limited Fake Lewis.

Where's he been?

Has he made an appearance before today?

Please, please, Limited Fake Lewis is somebody I want more of.

You went three weeks with making an impression and not asking for more immediate.

Like, congratulations, Billy.

But that is Office Lewis.

He's right there.

And at the end, though, I don't think Lewis would like the appraisal very much that his enthusiasm is counterfeit because I think that's where he would object.

He comes in here, good mood every day, trying to give off gratitude, and you guys just bury him with your bitterness.

I'll start saying good things about Lewis.

Lewis, your hair is small.

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Hey, it's Mike Ryan.

Those sprinklers are starting to slowly come up on the football field.

Time that we have with summer is dwindling.

I'm sure you're already doing that thing where you're going through your photo album, flipping through the photos that you've taken this summer, already reminiscing about the good times that you have.

I know I did.

And in many of the pictures that I went back to reminisce over, I had a beautiful white can of Miller light in my hand because I love making good times during the summer.

A Miller time.

It's a good reminder.

We're losing time on this summer.

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Don Lebatard.

Quiet man.

Yes.

You know, I'm a married man.

I don't cheat on my wife despite that gratuitous line in Back in My Day.

I wish you were here, my wife.

I really miss her.

No, I don't.

That's the thing about being married.

You know, you're not allowed to say, I don't miss my wife.

I've been gone two days.

I haven't been gone long enough to miss my wife.

I'm sorry.

I call her.

I'm sorry with her for 30 seconds.

You know, what am I?

Hello.

All right.

All right.

We'll see you.

All right.

And then, you know, I'm going to see her in two days.

How's Jumping Charlie?

Good.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

again.

Quote, I probably shouldn't have had that third old-fashioned is a place that I want to put it on your father's tombstone, honestly.

In fact, I'd like to

say crowded tombstone.

I know, I'd like to find some.

Please, let's have a competition, shall we?

Let's have a DraftKings-sponsored competition that makes fun.

Dark comedy.

If I had legs, I'd kick you.

It's a dark comedy.

What do you put on Greg Cody's tombstone?

Winner gets a great prize.

The winner of Greg Cody's choosing gets a great prize because a good nominee to start the bidding is, quote, I probably shouldn't have had that third old-fashioned.

And I mean, that's been a life motto for him.

Yeah, too wordy.

Do you understand?

Is it?

Is that too wordy for a tombstone?

I think we could fit it.

Across the top.

He's a writer, so he'd want to be efficient.

He'd want to be remembered immortally with something that was well written.

I really would like to do this as a competition to have Greg pick his, what a listener suggests should be the words on his tombstone.

Should it just be that kind of thing?

Yeah.

Hey, that's at the end.

That's towards the bottom.

And you know.

And you know it.

Wait, so it's just going to be his catchphrases?

Like, that's a fact, Jack?

No,

come on.

Is he really dead?

You never know.

Would you be willing to do this?

Would you be willing to have a DraftKing-sponsored contest that gives away your actual tombstone?

Yeah, and then if I happen to pass away suddenly and unexpectedly, it'll be ironic.

Are you allowing at the very end to draft kings to sponsor your tombstone?

Yeah, well, in real life?

Yeah, no, not as a bit in real life.

Oh, I mean, you know, first of all, I'm probably going to be, you know, cremated or something.

But you just think it's going to say Greg Cody from 1843 to 2025?

Oh, there'll be a saying on it.

I don't know.

I think you have a say in what happens to you.

You're like, they're going to cremate me.

I don't know what they're going to do with that.

It's not like a grab bag, and we figure out what to do with the body.

You know, put it on the urn.

Your wife and I probably have to, or your mother and I probably have to have that conversation.

What are your thoughts?

You know, I go back and forth.

How would you like to be remembered?

I don't know.

I go back and forth.

You quoted yourself yesterday on the dry erase board.

You want that quote on your tombstone?

That's a little serious.

Okay.

Yeah, live your life with a plum and alacrity.

I was thinking more of thousands waited in line to see my toenail.

I think that would work.

A bit self-involved, not much of a legacy.

I like

the poem and the wordplay of, because it'd be a tombstone and he's not cremated.

Guy don't want to earn, you aren't.

Guy don't want to learn.

Yeah,

that's good.

I like that.

If I had a personal assistant, he or she would be writing that down like that.

Have you ever thought of maybe like

for like immortality, like making a cast of your great toe?

Like you could go and you could make a mold of your great toe and then it could live on beyond your years.

I think that's a great.

I should do it right now because my right great toe is chipped and so it looks even more gruesome to me.

Is that so?

Yeah.

And so I should do that.

I should have a cast made.

Yeah.

One of the most amazing things in this show's history is that thousands of people did a pilgrimage to see his toenail.

And I don't know where that is now, but I would like to have that as an heirloom that carries on beyond you.

I saw that Josh Johnson last night was doing a comedy routine about a Steelers fan.

Wife, husband died, and she kept his tattoo.

She kept his tattoo in a frame,

took it off the body and kept it in a frame.

We should have this way to remember Greg Cody by his sponsored toenail, which would become then

an artifact and a religion that celebrates his death.

It's one of the most amazing things this show has ever done.

Thousands of people gathered to see his toe that Stugatz is now cut twice.

Where is that toenail?

Do we know?

I have a toenail

in a plastic case.

But it's not that toenail.

It's not in my office, and I think it is that toenail.

Well, why would it be?

It's a good question.

Great question.

All right.

I think that's worth a lot of money.

It's like, I have a toenail.

I just got to make sure it's the same one.

I believe that's worth a lot of money right now.

Yeah, I think it is the same one, now that you mentioned it.

It must be.

We're going to need to get that authenticated because he could just start pretending, and now it doesn't become an heirloom or a collectible of any kind.

We'll do a DNA test.

But he's got disgusting feet, and they...

They're muscular feet.

They're warlocky.

Okay.

Warlocky.

I like that.

I mean, but am I wrong?

I'm proud of my feet.

You can't be proud of them.

They're muscular, they're veins.

They're talons.

They're masculine.

They're a giant bird of prey, an ostrich.

Speaking of celebrating my dad, Dan, while you were out, AI made a statue of my dad and recreating his famous.

I love that.

Tell me that doesn't look like poppy.

When you zoom in on the face, when you zoom in on the face, there are poppy vibes to it, but it's clearly you down.

Greg Cody, I don't know if we could do this visually, but Greg Cody has, throughout his career, he has teetered, and this is a strange thing, I don't really understand it, between people saying that he looks more like my father or Jeffrey Lauria, the former owner of the Marlins.

That if you did an evolutionary chart of how people would look as they age, that somewhere between Laurie and my father, Greg Cody resides, even though I think Greg is younger than Laura.

Yeah, I'm definitely younger than both.

We actually

have a photo from yesterday of my dad, Carl Pavano, David Sampson, and Mike Hill.

We can put up right here.

Now, look at this weirdo.

What is David Sampson doing on his toes there?

Somebody explained.

Also, the tan line, if you zoom in on those Samson feet, good golly.

Okay, look, Samson's having all sorts of problems here.

Why is he on his tippy toes?

Does he always move?

Yeah, that's his move in photos.

But wait a minute.

He's only 65 inches.

he still looks like he's their toddler

but that is my dad in that photo i know yeah no i know they're zooming in the feet now that's that's clearly great

i wish i looked like jeffrey lori's bank account i tell you okay that's my dad's joke right there that my dad has said

i love poppy my father has made that joke forever i don't want to look like him i just want to have his money okay that now that's you that's you're gonna use

bank accounts a little funnier than the word money what would poppy do with his money like if he had his money right now what would he he do?

This is what my mother keeps saying to him.

What are we saving it for?

We're in our 80s.

Like, what have we been saving?

This is the exile mentality.

My parents have been afraid since they got here.

And, like, you think what's happening in this country right now isn't scary, too?

Like,

my parents have been saving money since they got here, terrified, grateful to just live here, grateful to have this country give them all sorts of freedom.

And my mom's now riding him into the ground.

Disney's, this is the wonder of it.

Disney's still paying my father.

This is like Bobby Bonilla.

In retirement, because he's retired on however it is that the pensions pay out.

Wow.

So my father is sitting here.

He's the only one still collecting from Disney.

My father now just owns 10% of the NFL.

Or how does that work?

Or what's the math on that?

Bobby was asking the other day.

How much of ESPN do I own now that the NFL owns 10% of ESPN?

Does he still get those passes?

A lifetime.

Oh, man.

I mean, my father, I don't think there's been a mercenary in the history of ESPN or Disney Disney who've gotten away with more than my father did.

They're still paying him at the end.

He pretended he was holding out because he just wanted to quit and couldn't tell me.

And he said, they're not paying me enough.

And he strong-armed them.

Like, they caved.

He didn't want to raise.

He just wanted to leave.

He didn't want to work anymore and didn't want to tell me.

Good for him.

Good for him.

I'm glad he's, I'm shocked he's still being paid by Disney.

More power to him.

Looks like me.

Who do you get that most with, Lauria or

my father?

Because it doesn't make any sense that you would look like my father.

He's an old Cuban man.

I know, but look at that gold statue.

I mean, to me, that's your dad and that statue, not me.

So we must look alike.

And I used to hear Lauria all the time.

Mike says Lyndon Baines-Johnson.

Yeah, Lyndon B.

Johnson for me.

LBJ.

LBJ.

Of course, everyone knows that in my Ute, I used to be likened to Tom Cruise.

They used to call me Greg Cutie.

So

Kristen, who works for us here, has been asking me, like, do we want to do this?

And I'm like, that probably would be expensive.

I would like, she's like, where would we put it?

I want this thing.

I think we need this house.

Let's, let's start at the big toe.

We'll make a bust of his

foot casting project inside the slack so someone can figure out the supplies we need to cast his feet.

I'd like a real statue, you know, rather than me one deep frying or turkey.

What would you be doing?

Oh, come on, Greg.

You're going to take yourself so seriously at the end.

This is, you want to.

All right, let's have artists concoct yours.

You want a Civil War statue of you being serious, like commemorated as a great writer?

I think that would be funny, too.

Don't get me wrong.

Which one is it?

But what's your idea?

How do you want to be remembered?

How do you want to be remembered?

I just noticed that you can actually see the turkey either submerging in

or rising to the side.

Chris, when Chris says I want that, it's not as a joke.

That's a loving reminder of you.

That's what you look like doing.

You're right.

Let's do that statue.

Let's make it slightly larger than life's.

Where would we put it?

Make me about 6'1.

6'1?

Yeah, a slightly larger than life.

That's what you do with a statue.

Ron Frazier's statue at UM is is like 6'5 or something.

Is it still there in front of?

Or did they quietly remove it?

No, I think it's still there.

Okay, good.

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Don Lebatard.

My wife says this is a sexy voice.

It really is.

Yeah.

I'm hard.

Thank you.

Wow.

Stugats.

So am I, actually.

I don't know why.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

No, I like the idea of a statue.

I obviously would like it in my own front yard.

No, you would not.

I would prefer it.

We did this last week that we turned it into a mailbox.

Yeah, it could be a...

Well, it's a little big for a mailbox.

We can just put it in the Riley corner.

He hasn't done anything lately.

Yeah, is he wearing a hat?

Is he wearing a hat?

No, that's a plant to look at.

Oh, okay.

Looks like a green bird.

Look at this.

This is the green book.

Oh, Jildo, one or the other.

Listen up.

Time to think fast.

Is this a real or fake podcast?

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

The placement of Riley has made it that because a plant is behind him,

a confused Greg Cody just made it a green dildo that we had put on Pat Riley's head.

Tell me it doesn't look like he's wearing

a green beret.

Yeah.

Hello, Bet.

Thank you for your service, Pat.

Yeah.

From that angle, I even get the dough reference.

Dan?

Thank you.

Let's see.

Let's hope that you're sharp.

After three and a half weeks away, we've had a handful of games.

Yesterday, we had a really tightly contested one.

We learned together that Darren Revelle actually does not actively have a podcast, defying the odds.

As Greg said, he's the one.

Yeah.

A meme like that.

Cafe Con Lindor with Francisco Lindor.

No, real or fake.

That is not a podcast.

I don't believe that Francisco Lindor has any interest in doing a podcast off the field.

That is a real podcast.

Get the hell out of here.

No, no, it is not.

Look it up.

I love it.

Club 619 with Rey Mysterio.

Real or fake?

Do you know who Rey Mysterio is?

He's a wrestler, right?

One of the most famous

acrobatic masked wrestlers.

The most famous masked wrestler of all time, right?

Is that right?

Look, there's evidence of Cafe Conlindor on our screen.

That's unbelievable.

So it's a breakfast show?

Is he doing it in English or Spanish?

I don't know if it's a breakfast show.

That's a nice logo.

Look, man, I just learned about this thing yesterday.

I couldn't believe it.

It's stunning.

He has a host, right?

He has a host.

Although the host name ain't on Cafe Conlindor.

You don't think he can carry a show?

Well, I just, the last time I spoke to him, his English was, I don't know whether he's doing it in English or Spanish.

It's in Spanish.

But his, yeah, that's what I was asking.

Now that it's real, you can subscribe.

Look, he's going.

The marketing on this, this is why I will celebrate this.

Please put this up on the screen here so that we can advertise.

I'd like a relationship with Café Con Lindor,

especially if he's doing it in Spanish.

This is a Spanish-style kitchen.

This looks like my grandmother's kitchen.

This would only be a breakfast-time show, and it would be in Spanish.

I don't know.

I don't think he can do that show in English from the last time I talked to him when he spoke English.

Well, the beauty of a podcast is it doesn't have to be a breakfast time show.

It could be an anytime show.

Stop running away from Club 619 with Rey Mysterio.

Is it real or fake?

I say yes.

Real.

And I was asking questions about Mysterio.

He is the most famous mass wrestler of all time.

Zaszlo's been bothering me.

Look, Zaszlo's on a hot streak.

He's been bothering me about he wants to do a wrestling show.

Badly wants to do a wrestling show.

For years I've been trying to do it.

For years he wants to do a wrestling show.

And I just threw out there Mysterio, most famous mass wrestler of all time, right?

Who's second?

I don't know.

And it went nowhere.

I think, yeah, probably.

Most famous Luchador.

Gracias.

Real or fake podcast?

That's a fake podcast.

I don't believe that that's real.

It is a fake podcast.

Now what with Gary Vee?

Or now what with Gary Vee?

Well, but

yeah, well, I don't know if that's the name of it, but Gary Vee is doing something like that.

Is that the name of it?

Gary could be a guy that has plenty of podcasts.

Who's Gary Vee?

That's what Dan said once on our show.

To Gary Vee's face.

An entrepreneur of great fame that's an influencer who has a lot of voice and

big into garage sales.

And is really good at making money.

Is this a real or fake podcast?

Now what?

With Gary Vee?

I'm going to say it's real, yes.

Real.

Fake.

That's not the name of it, right?

Okay.

Get in the game with former Detroit Lions kicker Jason Hansen.

Real or fake?

Get in the game with Jason Hansen.

All right, here's my dilemma with this game.

You're not that imaginative.

You're not that creative.

I know you.

I've seen your work.

I made a f ⁇ ing musical guy.

There's no reason.

That's what I'm saying.

Wait, what was that guy doing in the middle?

I made...

As a taunt.

As a taunt,

I made a musical guy.

You've been gone for a while.

That's what he calls you now.

Yeah.

When's that guy coming back?

You're not creative enough

to invent that.

That has to be real.

That's too ridiculous to be fake.

You can't end the game with Jason Hansen.

It can't be real.

It shouldn't be real.

It can't be real.

It should not be real.

There's no reason that anyone should pay for that in this economy.

Sorry, you're saying it's real because it can't be?

That's right.

I'm saying it's not real.

It can't be.

It can't be real.

It can't be, but it can't be real.

It can't be.

It cannot be, but I'm saying it's real just because I'm testing your imagination.

You wouldn't make that up.

It's real.

Wow.

Damn cold.

Wow.

All right, final one.

And I know you made a musical guy.

And I'm saying you're not that creative.

Last one.

Soup Son with Jeff Supan.

Oh, I love it.

Love it.

Is soups on S-U-P, though, or is it S-U-P, you know, like follow-up?

How is it Soup?

It's conventional spelling.

Okay.

No, but that's a great question he's asking.

You want to use it in a sentence?

Just to see where Mike's at on it.

I like it.

Go ahead.

Let's do this.

Greg, go ahead.

How does this work?

How does this spelled?

What is the graphic for this?

Soups on with Jeff Soupon has to be spelled S-U-P apostrophe.

I would think so, but I think you can still get away with a soup bowl, with a spoon, with a little picture of a tendril of smoke coming up from the heat, coming up from the soup.

I think you would confuse the audience because they would say, Sup, Ann, you know?

Yeah, it's

on.

What's up?

Yeah, and then we get fouled up.

All right.

So, no, that can't be a podcast.

I think it is.

It's fake.

Welcome back, guy.

Thank you.

I've missed that game.

I missed you guys.

And I want to come up with Greg's Tombstone sponsored by DraftKings.

Please help me figure out what the writers around our show, what are we saying the limits on this has to be?

Because you don't want too many words.

I mean, it depends on the fonts.

You can fit a lot, you know?

You will disqualify yourself, I think, if, well, Greg is so self-involved.

You saw the most engaged he's been in 10 years is when you guys asked him about his statue and how serious he is about wanting it to be 6-1 and being in his front yard.

We made fun of Pudge because he had a giant statue that was in his yard.

It was a giant gold statue of Pudge in catching gear here in Miami that was in his yard.

It was ridiculous.

It was golden.

It was godlike.

And the last time I saw Pudge

walking through the lobby of a hotel because I'm so awkward, I just asked him, Where's the statue?

Because we made fun of it for years, that he would have a statue of himself in his yard.

And he said it was being shipped to Texas and that they are now having it outside their stadium, which they should.

Well, no, they made a different statue for him.

So he might have thought that you were actually interested in the statue they were making in his honor.

Yeah.

To have multiple statues.

You really want a statue of yourself for your yard?

If we got it for you, you would put it in your yard?

I would love it.

Your wife would let you do that?

Yeah, I would build a whole thing around it.

Like it would be like in a garden type situation.

We would decorate, we would landscape around the statue.

And I would also like a very lightweight version of that statue that I could carry around with me.

Like if I'm going on a trip or something, I could carry a statue of myself under my arm if it weighs like 10 pounds or less.

Like a bowling, think of it as like a bowling ball, you know.

Weight, weight-wise.

Why would you want to carry this around?

It'd be fun.

Yeah.

Hey, look at that guy over there carrying a statue.

Is that a statue of himself?

Is that Joe Biden?

Did he win an Oscar?

He's carrying a statue.

He's sitting around the kitchen table and scranting.

You hear Joe Biden, you're like, all right, time to play this.

Bring back Joe Biden.

I mean, my imitation of him.

I don't mean Joe.

God rest his soul.

Not that he's dead.

Wait, he's alive.

What?

Yeah, he's still good.

He's still kicking.

All right.

He had legs.

Yeah.

He has legs.

We know that.

Just Joe Parker.

Yeah, if he had legs, he'd kick you.

I don't understand what that movie's about.

And

there's not a torso involved in that movie, right?

There's not someone without legs in that movie.

I mean, the title is a little bit deceiving, I'll be honest.

That's the greatest title I've ever heard for a movie.

Put it on the poll at Lebetard Show.

Have you ever heard a better title for a movie than If I Had Legs.

I'd Kick You.

Well, I would assume that someone does not have legs or is bound to a wheelchair.

If not, that's a terrible title for the movie, right?

I think it's great.

I think it sounds like a comedian's biography title.

I want to know.

I want to watch this movie and I want to know what what it's about.

I should know what it's about.

And you said it was not horror.

It is dark comedy.

ASAP Rocky's in it.

Can we please examine for a moment how Erlene Cody is going to feel about today's show and the talk of her office?

Your father is not a good friend by his definitions.

I would not say that.

I think he's a masterful, wonderful friend.

I love him.

I'll always love him, obviously.

But he doesn't think he's a very good friend.

And it's because he can make it to be hard to be friends with him.

You have to chase after him.

It's not, he's not coming to you.

It's not he's not making phone calls.

He's not trying to, and I think that's why he identifies as

a self-proclaimed bad friend.

I don't think he is one.

Yeah, I'm not an attentive friend, I would say, if I'm self-analyzing.

And so

when I'm saying that there's a birthday party with office workers who I don't think he would call any of those people his friends,

they're your mother's employees, I think.

Coworkers, but yes.

Yeah, and so and he likes them and he's close to them, but only so close, correct?

I mean, there's a couple of people in that room that I think I would call friends.

If you're asking what my mom's gonna think of this, I think she's gonna be fine with most of it, except for me saying that she makes people talk about her.

All right, so you go.

That's the part that I'm worried about.

So you keep crossing the line, and we'll see how we enrage Erlene Cody, because that's I want to get to the bottom of how she feels about all of this, because I think she has to get people up to speak about her because she's raised three toddlers who are not likely to tell their mother how much they love and respect and admire her in ways that she has heard very often because they're all constipated, repreps young boys, even her husband.

And so, and but, but I've never heard your father speak more lovingly or more porically about anybody than when Jumping Charlie.

When he speaks, except for Jumpin' Charlie, when he speaks of his love for your mother, which is the very most of the romantic things.

Yeah, I can't express how much I admire, not just love, but admire her.

But I think something needs to be said about that video that I am just now realizing.

She never noticed until she saw the video that someone else took that I was on my phone during the song.

Why does that make it different?

Because it's not like she was upset by it.

It's not like she was elbowing me like, what are you doing?

You know, she didn't even know that.

Why does that make it better?

Because

in real time, it didn't hurt her feelings.

It didn't insult her.

And yesteryear, he would have been able to get away with that.

Yeah, because was up here.

No, everybody's a photographer.

Everybody's got photographs.

Except you.

Including you.

I would argue that you did more to pay attention and give her your full attention than the person videoing it because they were on their phone.

You were not.

They were only for a portion of the time, but you were trying to be in the moment.

I was very

essentially treating her birthday like an Erica Badu concert.

Whatever that means.

Yeah, you're right.

She was at the funeral last night.

I know she took away people's phones, I heard.

Oh, that's the best Miami there is.

Erica Badu.

Badu.

She wears

a hat, right?

Oh, boy.

She's the hat wearer.

Do you know the names of any of the people in that video?

Let's move on to something else.

Sure, I do.

Good work by you, Billy.

What are their names?

She was wearing a hat last night from the video that I saw.

Thank you.

And it was cell phone video from another venue.

Dad, what are those coworkers?

What are those co-workers' names?

Well, that's Cam and his wife, and the nodding person at the end.

I'm not positive.

So you got one-third.

You got Cam and his wife,

one of the agents.

All right, so if we quizzed you on, you if we quizzed you on the 17 people that were there, how many of the names would you know?

More or less than half?

Less.

In terms of being able to name them?

Yes, yes.

Well, that's part.

That's how you know someone's name.

Yeah, less than half.

But what if it was like a lineup for like a crime and you had to say criminal or lean coworker?

You could pick them out of a lineup, surely.

Most of them, maybe more than

that.

They've gone too far, but how else would you know someone's name other than to know their name?

To name them?

I mean, you know, I don't, I don't, I never take a quiz.

I never go to my wife's office.

I don't socialize with these people.

Some of them I do, but not the people in that room.

How many people here could you name?

Everyone.

Oh,

oh, let's play that game next time.

I'm not going to take a quiz.

No, I'm not doing that.

Hey, it's Mike Ryan.

Those sprinklers are starting to slowly come up on the football field.

Time that we have with summer is dwindling.

I'm sure you're already doing that thing where you're going through your photo album, flipping through the photos that you've taken this summer, already reminiscing about the good times that you have.

I know I did.

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