The Big Suey: Best Revelation

41m
"Dan is becoming that friend that just says things."

Keith Yandle hates Vijay Singh. Plus, Dan sleep farts, gets blood taken in an alley and hasn't received mail in 10 years. Billy had cornrows.
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Transcript

New season, new chaos in college football.

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Welcome to the Big Sue,

presented by DraftKings.

Why are you listening to this show?

It's a podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebatard podcast.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys.

I've done it.

And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

This episode is presented by DraftKings.

DraftKings, the crown is yours.

Well done.

Again, you have become a real broadcast professional when you do choose to speak into the microphone.

Thank you very much.

The Giants have released Tommy DeVito.

Sad day for the show.

Yeah, sad day for his agent.

Also, I saw a quote here from Arch Manning that is, given the size of the game that Arch Manning is about to play, and I don't know in my recollection off the top of my head, a more anticipated, longer anticipated

starting of a college football season prodigy than what Arch Manning is presently headed into.

And I don't know if you saw this, he gave exactly the quote.

that you want to hear if you're a Texas fan.

He actually said before this game, which I believe to be one of the most pressurized games a quarterback has ever, I'm going to call it debuted with, even though he's played before, but this is his coming out party.

This is, what is Eli Manning and Peyton Manning's nephew?

What is he as a quarterback?

The quote is perfect, and it's better than any quote that I've ever heard from Peyton or Eli, other than when Peyton called Mike Vanderjack that idiot kicker during the Pro Bowl, the last Pro Bowl I watched.

Here is the quote from Arch Manning: The targets, not on our back,

we have a red dot on everyone else.

Wow, that's a good quote.

Well, Dan, you know that Arch Manning has motion, right?

Did you know that?

Explain.

Motion.

Greg, you explain it.

He's hoping that this isn't a young person that I know.

No, it is a young person.

That's why I know that's it.

Okay, motion means like he's with it.

He's cool.

He gets it.

He's hit.

He's hip talking to him.

Stand on business?

Yes?

No?

No, I get it.

Now that you explain it, it's a good quote.

It's a good quote.

It's the best quote ever.

In your day, it would have been groovy.

Yeah.

He's groovy?

He's happening.

Happening.

Yeah, he's happening.

So we emerge from pipe down and you're off your rocker to groovy and happening as we continue to grab all the kids on YouTube.

We get the motion then.

Put it on the poll at Lebatard show, which is the older expression, off your rocker or pipe down.

We have to get to the Sueys here.

We've got among the categories today, later in the show, we've got Best Stugats Dismissal.

Is it just Stugats or is it Best Dismissal?

Well, that actually speaks to everybody else.

The way it used to be combined and Stugats was the star, everybody else stepped up their dismissal game so much that we were able to break them up.

And now it's Stugat's Dismissal.

And later in the week, which is loaded, we will have everybody else's dismissals.

Oh, wow.

I mean, Billy brought it.

David Sampson brought it.

Greg Cody brought it.

That's a great category.

All right.

So, but that's not the one we have today.

Stugats dismissal today.

And best revelation is what we're going to play here.

Yeah, we're going to get to best revelation here in a second.

But when you talk about the games that we're headed into this weekend, already Fox and Big Noon is getting exactly what they want out of Dave Portnoy and Barstool because there are reports that Dave Portnoy has been banned from participating in Big Noon kickoff.

It seems that all of this would be orchestrated in order to create noise and controversy.

And I believe Portnoy and Barstool will be good about attracting attention and attention of young people to rival Lee Corso's departure on ESPN.

Well, he's not banned from Big Noon, okay?

Big Noon starts their normal studio show, and they do like the final segment inside the stadium.

He is not being allowed to

get sideboards.

Good correction, yes.

But he's also, but he's also not banned, according to Ohio State's AD, who says, and these, they've got so many rules.

I got in trouble last year, right?

Because I sent Ricky to get Lucy into Texas for a game and there are all sorts of rules of how you get on the field except at Texas Stadium Ricky Williams just walks on the field he's one of the few with that kind of pass but we got in all sorts of trouble when we did that because there are rules and so what Ohio State's AD is saying is this is not a ban it's just if you're not on the set of big noon you're not on the field and you're not allowed I don't know who's right or what's accurate here.

All of it's good, though, for all of the participants.

Ohio State may be tipping the hand that Portnoy isn't a part of the closing segment, which given their history on how they integrated some of the ancillary cast members, I guess that's a fair play.

I think that this is marketing strategy to drum up interest, make them seem again too hot for the situation.

It defies logic that if the Big Ten's biggest broadcast partner wanted Dave Portnoy on the field at that desk, he wouldn't be there.

That just is not a thing that would happen given Fox's investment.

Beyond that, one of the things that I was telling you, you mentioned Bill Simmons, but Bill Simmons did have a writing career.

And at some point during the last 20 years, at least in part because of how ESPN was doing the journalism of things, having a writing career is something that made you credentialed, if not physically with a credential.

You had the credentials to be welcomed on something like a set that's analyzing games.

I don't believe a creature like Dave Portnoy has ever existed in the history of these shows.

This is how a network that is struggling, but not with that show and not with Saturdays, a network and not with politics or anywhere else, but a network that is struggling with its sports programming, this is how they get into the game by trying to do something different.

Finally, like it's, I've been so frustrated in general with Fox because they're just doing a crappy copy version of whatever has been the norm.

So now they're just going to upset everything and they're just going to create chaos and noise and controversy.

And it's going to be something that'll be good for the modern age, at least in part because none of these networks know how to get young people.

Paramount Plus, we've been making fun of CBS forever because it's all murder she wrote.

They get the UFC because they're like, how do we get young men?

We need young men.

How do we get them?

Not that I'm super young, but it's working.

Like I am now interested.

I'm going to, I mean, obviously I got to see Corso do the last headgear, but I will be flipping back and forth on Saturday.

I want to see what it looks like.

I got to the point with Game Day.

Now, I think last year was a marked improvement over the previous year, but it kind of felt like game day was a cheap imitation of game day.

Whereas some of the fixtures, the Rinaldi piece, it felt like Big Noon was building on that.

A lot of the producers moved over.

The bear is a part of it.

So I was actually going to be totally dialed in on Big Noon because they had the rights to this game and they would have done it up big.

But then the emotional aspect of Lee Corso's final college game day, it's just maybe if I catch him on a commercial break,

otherwise, I'll just be tuned into the social clips, but this is all about Lee Corso for me.

This weekend will especially be interesting because everyone is descending on Columbus.

It's big noon and it's game day are all there together.

Like, who's going to have the bigger crowd?

You'd assume it's game day, but still, like, everyone is going to be there this weekend.

This is a hero.

This is a television hero that is getting a proper send-off.

They're not waiting to the end of the season.

They're giving him the big emotional tribute at the start where it all began.

Did you see some of of these clips in the special at ESPN Air the other night?

I mean, Herbstreet is crying.

Herbstreet's been crying when talking about Lee for 15 years in fear that this day would come.

And I'm happy that Lee Coruso, that nothing tragic happened, that this is actually going out on his own terms.

Should we set an over-under on different times Herbie cries on Saturday?

Oh, he's got to be a mess.

Four and a half?

They're all going to be a mess.

Over-under, four and a half.

They all love him so much.

It's palpable.

That's part of the connective tissue between that show and its audience.

It's resonated with an audience, and this includes inside the NBA.

In terms of a connection to a crowd, to its television audience, no one has ever topped in sports television what College Game Day has achieved.

The internet has been cruel for a long time and is cruel to old people.

So.

Dick Vitale gets a lot more negative noise now than he used to get.

And Lee Corso does too, because he has struggled with the aging process process on air, as anybody could or would at that age.

And ESPN has done very little better than the way that they have treated him with care.

But when it comes to the coarsening of America and everything that you've seen recently, This is really symbolic that ESPN will get week one, even though that's a giant game with Arch Manning in the middle of it.

But where you see the Rogansphere getting

stronger in places, where you see young men getting stronger in places.

Symbolically, this is a changing of the guard that Fox is trying to go after and finish that show with because once you lose the connection of that one thing, right?

Because McAfee does a lot of good stuff with the field goals and giving away money, but the one thing of when he puts on the headgear, that's when my football weekend starts.

The noise on the television for three hours, it's background noise.

It's the way you watch all the Super Bowl pregame stuff.

It's just on somewhere in your house, but you're about to descend into no showering for the day because you're watching a whole bunch of football.

And

I think it's super interesting to see what happens with those numbers over time as Urban Meyer, the dirty one, is over on that show.

Dave Portnoy, the dirty one, is over there on that show while ESPN is trying to sell you its pass.

Nick Sabin, the dirty one, is on that show.

I mean, don't sell him short.

He's not Urban in terms of like this moral spectrum we've established, but he ain't all good, pal.

He's less dirty,

still dirty.

He's dirty, though.

Urban's not getting the commercials because he's dirty.

He could get one for detergent.

Like, you want to scrub your Jacksonville clean of the laughter?

Urban's like those deck shoes after yard work.

The things that are happening

throughout America, you can also feel them in and around sports.

And it is going to be worth watching what Fox does when very rarely is any of this stuff worth watching, like where we anticipate it.

College Game Day is special because it has been that for a long time, but it hasn't had any challenges.

Like Stephen A.

Smith has been saying we've been number one for 11 years, but I mean, it's like, okay, but you didn't compete against anybody the first seven years, and then Skip went to a startup and you you have been number one and you made the time slot matter, but it wasn't really a time slot that was having a heavy competition throughout morning television.

You're coming after the king when you come after college game day and you're coming after the king with something that's pretty different.

And it's hard to make that stuff different because everybody's copying everybody else.

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Hey Tony.

Hey, Mike.

Hey, man.

The summer's almost ending, man.

I like that.

There's no way.

There's no way.

I am excited about cooler temperatures, but down here in South Florida, that just means slightly less boiling.

Hot.

It's been a pretty incredible summer.

We've had a parade down here.

We've grown our family down here at Metal Arc Media.

A lot of exciting things, a lot of memorable benchmarks.

And along the way, at almost every step, I've been tailed by that beautiful white can of Miller Light.

Oh, that beautiful white can.

Or the brown bottle.

You can do it on draft.

Draft is crisp.

There's been so many great special times.

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Don Lebatard, but it's just his titties are sitting on the shelf that is his belly.

Stugats.

You said titties.

It like shocked me a little bit.

I wasn't quite prepared for titties.

This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.

I wonder if there are going to be any revelations over the course of the weekend.

I will be interested in examining all of that.

But Greg Cody, did you hear any of the best revelations?

I know you did the intros for this, but did you hear any of the actual revelations?

I remember many of them, you know, just because they stand out in my mind.

But no, all I did was introduce them.

I feel good about this category, and it's the 2025 SUI Awards presented by Miller Light.

You can cast your vote at lebotardaf.com.

Winners will be announced a week from today, Tuesday, September 7th.

Here is Best Revelation.

And now the SUI nominees for Best Revelation.

Dan Lebetard hasn't gotten mail in over a decade.

I've probably gone more than 10 years without getting a piece of mail.

That's not true.

It's impossible.

No, it's not.

In terms of that gets through my wife and it stops before, I haven't gone to a mailbox.

I haven't seen a piece of mail in more than 10 years.

I'm not even joking.

Chris Cody uses his kid to get ice cream.

If I want ice cream, I go, Graceland, go tell mommy we should get ice cream.

Smart.

Does it work?

It's like multiple steps ahead.

Sometimes I get caught.

We were walking out of a restaurant the other day and there was a cold stones right there.

So I'm like tapping my daughter.

I'm like,

and my wife looks back and sees me pointing at the cold stones, like, tell mommy we should go.

And I'm just like, oh, I was looking.

I was stretching my arm.

Can't you just go?

Yeah.

It was a school night.

It was past 8:30.

My wife has this thing, Pastor.

Do you still have homework to do, Chris?

No, my daughter needs to go to sleep.

David Sampson honored a player on Jewish Heritage Night who wasn't Jewish.

We honored him on Jewish Heritage Day because the last name's Jacob, so you can get away with it.

But of course, he's not Jewish, but no one needs to know that.

Wait a second.

So he's Jewish.

We talked about Jewish.

Jewish name.

So wait.

Wait.

He had a Jewish name.

Wait.

He whimpers out of the side of his face.

So you talked about this beforehand.

Was the assumption made that he was Jewish?

We knew?

You knew that he wasn't.

I knew he put the G and Goyem.

Of course I knew he wasn't Jewish.

So that's a fraud on that.

Why'd you go through it?

It's a fraud.

Because when you announce Jewish Heritage Day and like a bobblehead of Mike Jacobs, everyone's like, oh my God, you have a great Jewish player.

And we're like, yeah, he's hitting 30 bombs.

He's part of our young core.

It's a great idea to honor him and to celebrate Jewish Heritage Night.

Oh, I forgot.

He goes to church on Sunday.

Tim Kirchin reveals he cheated and his son texted him the answer.

Wait, wait, Martin Scorsese.

Martin Scorsese.

You looked it up.

You looked it up.

You looked it up.

We don't believe you.

He doesn't know how to look it up.

I cheated.

Jeffrey texted it.

This is what you do.

Work together.

pre-texted He

it to me and then i pretended like i remembered it my son told me you liar

and all this time i thought you were a better writer than peter richman this is what you're telling me

john skipper and david sampson reveal their need to be above people during business meetings on the sporting class when i was at espn i always made sure i had the highest chair wait in in a this

meeting i don't see you you wanted to look down upon everybody.

No, I wanted them to have to look up to me.

All of that matters.

I would do conversations with players only standing on the top step of the dugout with them in the dugout because I didn't want to go in with the power dynamic of me or I would do it sitting down on the bench in the dugout.

But I wouldn't want to do any sort of serious conversation with the player or with anyone where there is a huge height difference.

It sounds like

you're on the top step quite a bit then.

Dan Lebetard reveals his shady monthly doctor appointments.

I have to give blood every couple of months to get my blood tested, and I do it in the alley behind my house.

Like that, that somebody comes over, and because I have to rush to work and get it in the right time, people would drive by and see me in the back of a van,

a suburban, actually.

It's heroin, the variety of things you're doing.

And

they would see me getting a needle to the arm with my arm wrapped.

That is a photograph that can be written.

In a van?

yeah well and a suburban

i like how he's getting out in front of this story that's smart of him i like what he just did there he gets out in front of the photos that are clearly going to drop dude that suburban 100 has a heat license plate

or black miami uh university of miami license or miami dade like student parking decal audit dan libertard added an open bar at his funeral to his will okay first of all is there an open bar at this funeral okay that factors in yep do funerals have open bars?

No.

Never.

No.

Well, no, hold on.

No, it's, it's, you know, do we know this?

Well, I

actually, it's funny that you say that because I recently put that in my will as part of estate planning.

Yeah.

Didn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thanks, Dan.

Yes.

Tim Kirchin reveals what he did in Cuba.

But I did go to Cuba and I had a mojito, which I had never had before.

Whoa, wacky.

You made it sexy.

Dan Lebertard never wore a seatbelt until the early 2000s.

I did not start wearing a seatbelt until Derek Thomas was paralyzed in an accident.

Really?

Yes, I'd never worn a seatbelt in my life.

I had never before worn a seatbelt in my life before Derek Thomas was paralyzed in an accident.

What year is that, Dan?

Because

I don't know Derek Thomas.

Yeah, I don't know that's for the Chiefs, right?

Florida State.

Yeah, this would have been.

2000.

Yeah, so 22 years ago, throughout my 20s, I drove without a seatbelt.

Dan, you telling me you sat in the car and you let it go.

No, it didn't do that back then, though.

The technology wasn't there.

We hadn't been that advanced yet.

Andrew Santino reveals the car that Jeremy Tashay drives.

You know what you are, Tasha?

You're in the Hyundai world.

You're a Hyundai driver.

You like Hyundai.

And based on your look,

I'm going to guess it's

that town in down South Arizona.

You're a Tucson.

You're a Tucson.

No way.

Hyundai Tucson.

It even has a Schitt's Creek sticker on the back of it.

Oh my God.

David Sampson reveals why he lost Survivor on the first episode.

I was in row 86 on the way to the Philippines for Survivor, and I upgraded myself on the plane.

And much to the chagrin of the fellow survivors, I didn't realize at the time, but they ended up holding that against me that I wasn't willing to sit in my mills asleep surrounded by like babies for a 14-hour.

You became the target.

You have no people skills.

I wonder why they kicked you off the island so quickly.

You don't understand community.

You're about to go on a stranded island for 39 days.

Like, Jeff, I'd like to upgrade, please.

How much do I have to give you for a 10 out here for me and my kids?

You thought you were going to win, and

you lost on the plane right over.

You lost.

dan lebetard's parents once had sex with him under the bed you don't understand the way that you're triggering for me the memory of being under my parents bed when they were having well i didn't know what sex was at the time the the bed was just a rocking

this is your first this is your ultimate core memory i think this is driven everything but this is the thing it's been buried for 50 years i've got it last i've got no memory it was it was very short but i didn't i i that's in retro i didn't know what they were doing i didn't know what they were doing i why is the bed rocking i mean look for me it wasn't even disgust that was in retrospect at the moment it was just fear these are not small people the bed is rocking i'm under it mike ryan sprints into the movie theater for every mission impossible movie i went to go see mission impossible now my tradition is to get out of my car and sprint full speed to the movie theater i always do that any mission impossible movie your tradition that is my tradition for the last six movies i've done that go to the theater get out of my car full sprint do you videotape it it?

Like, put it on social.

This is just like a

personal movie.

I keep hoping that someone's gonna jump in and we can have a nice little moment.

Doesn't happen.

David Sampson suffers from night terrors.

I suffer from terrible night terrors, which is when you have nightmares and you basically are screaming in your sleep.

And if you happen to be lucky enough to sleep with somebody, you get awoken by someone who is scared and wondering what will happen when they wake you, but you're making noises.

And my night terrors, Dan, is I am panting and I am, it's the same one.

It's a recurring night terror that I have way too often.

There is not a week that goes by that I do not wake up screaming.

Ron McGill reveals the first thing chimps do when attacking.

The reality is when chimps come at you, one of the first things they do is they try to bite off your genitals.

That's the reality?

The first thing a chimp does when it comes up to you is tries to bite off your genitals.

That's how they fight each other.

They go right for the genitals.

They try to bite them off.

Chris Cody reveals he had a one-eyed Uncle Mike.

Billy yelled at Zaslow,

point the cork toward you.

And I heard Chris Cody

say,

My Uncle Mike lost an eye that

my Uncle Mike lost his eye opening a champagne bottle.

R.I.P., he didn't die from

the champagne.

He's no longer with us, but he died with one eye.

She had a glass eye.

He did?

It was weird.

It didn't look at you.

It kind of like looked up to the side.

What color was it?

Did it match?

No.

It didn't match.

He had blue eyes and the glass eye tried to be blue, but it was just like a different shade of blue.

Erlene Cody reveals Greg Cody's homerism.

The first question I would ask you, Erlene, is,

yes or no, your husband is a fan of the Dolphins.

Yes.

he's so mad at me right now uh yes yes

i i don't think we have any more questions

i have plenty of questions david sampson would try to make trades on thanksgiving to avoid family time i used to try to purposely make trades on thanksgiving so i could get away from the thanksgiving dinner and so what i would like that's a heady play man i mean revelation

and we did it and we actually succeeded in in completing some transactions right on Thanksgiving.

Roy Bellamy picked up his daughter from school in full hockey gear on Mystery Crate.

Roy went, picked up his daughter, and then in full uniform.

No, you know, I mean, clearly couldn't have been driving with the skates on.

No.

So maybe the skates came off, but other than that, full, did you have the helmet on for the entire drive?

No, it was in my hockey bag.

No, what happened was a little bit after the show, Anit told me that I had to pick up Claire.

The visual.

Is this car line pick up?

No.

Damn.

You had to get out?

I had to get out.

I had to walk to the front.

No, Roy, that's not true.

Stop.

That is very much true.

Did you put the mask back on?

No.

People wouldn't actually see your face.

No.

No.

Billy Gill reveals he once had cornrows.

I had cornrows once.

Oh, yeah.

It was a summer.

Yeah.

Shout out to my mom.

What's the Bahamas?

I did.

I was on a cruise.

Honestly, like, I did sleep with a Durag tonight.

It hurts so much to get it done.

Particularly if your hair is not curly enough to hold onto the cornrows.

You you better put a picture hatches.

Yeah, maybe two of them.

I'm trying to find the picture to send to you guys privately, but like, yeah, that was one of those things that disappeared because

I was worried because I'm like, this is going to be the appropriation.

If you want it to be private, don't send it.

Chris Cody reveals one of his first crushes.

One of my first crushes was Angelica Pickles' mom, Charlotte Pickles.

Jonathan Zaslow texted the arena about an unruly fan.

They have that code that you got to text, right?

Text 60555.

Unruly fans.

Yeah, and then

kind of like silent.

Do you guys ever send a text?

You ever text it?

Never.

I did one time when someone in my section was rooting for the other team.

I text so-and-so, room for the other team.

Really?

Yeah.

They picked the person out.

Wait, was this?

Why would you tell on somebody rooting for the other team?

To me, that shit was unruly.

Yeah.

Keith Yandel reveals his least favorite athlete of all time.

My least favorite athlete of all time is probably Vijay Singh, and I don't know why.

Andrew, what did he do to you, VJ?

I mean, harmless Vij Singh.

I mean, yeah, I don't know why.

He's probably the best guy.

What a weird.

You gave me a million guesses.

What a weird endpoint.

Vijay Singh, all he did was

represent golf himself and his country well, and you hate him for no good reason.

He gave us nothing.

He literally gave us nothing.

Like, I never even heard him interviewed or anything, and I'm sure he's the best guy.

I mean, I'm a real family guy.

Dan Lebatard reveals he's a sleep farter.

I'm a sleep farter?

I was just informed of that the other day to my mortification.

And it's after I've eaten in restaurants where they've lied to me about the ingredients because I'm like, no dairy, no gluten, I need vegan cheese, I need garlic and no paprika, and I need to make sure there's no turmeric.

Yes, just pecans and occasionally some macadamia nuts.

Have the conversation go when your wife reveals to you that you're a sleep farter.

Embarrassing.

It was embarrassing to me.

Jamil Hill has share's number.

I have share in my phone.

Would y'all take shares?

Share everybody.

Share is the most

important thing.

You have share in your phone?

I didn't fucking

partake in the NBA finals.

I'm not even around.

I have shared

Share and I have texted the phone.

That's a flex.

Greg Cody says, punt.

Whenever watching a punt.

One of my favorite things my dad does watching a football game, anytime there's a punt, as the ball contacts the kicker's foot, he says, punt.

He's done it for 30 years.

The only sound where something happening actually is verified by that one.

Punt.

Chris, tell me more about this.

So, how are we just literally my entire life?

Anytime there's a punt, you just like you, you have to catch it.

He'll say it low.

Punt.

He says it is the only word.

Is it on the snap?

Is it when the ball meets the foot?

As the ball is being punted.

Punt has to be breathless.

Because he's always claimed that the word punt actually sounds like what you hear.

So it's onomatopoeia.

Onomatopoeia.

A word that sounds like what it is.

Exactly.

What?

Nothing.

Poppy Libertard reveals that at his age anything smells good at my age anything smells good

what whatever that means

greg are you that age yet not quite i hope to get there i have no poppy's my hero i have no idea what that means right at my age

i i got no but juicy

i don't know my father's simply saying that at his age there are no bad smells That once you get into 80, that's it.

The fact that you're smelling anything.

If I can smell, I'm alive.

That's what I am.

That's immensely shit.

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Don Lebatard.

My wife says this this is a sexy voice.

It really is.

Yeah.

I'm hard.

Thank you.

Wow.

Stugats.

So am I, actually.

I don't know why.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Put it on the poll, please, Juju.

Does a punt sound like the word punt?

The thing that's been happening around here that has been dismaying to me recently is the people here have been accusing me publicly of being a liar.

And Billy does not believe that I get blood taken in the alley.

So just this morning, I sent Billy this video.

This morning.

Good, Billy.

You don't believe me that we get blood in the alley?

The blood fairy is here.

It's going to look like heroin.

I'm getting heroin in the alley here.

Just a little update to prove to Billy that it's true.

That must be so expensive.

I'm no less concerned about the situation after the video evidence.

But it's true, at least.

You know that it's true.

Well, we never saw the needle in the arm.

That is true, too.

Yeah, that's true.

Today, because of how humid it is in South Florida right now,

it was leaking because you tried to put the bandage on and it wouldn't stick because of just

how hot it is outside with no wind and stuff.

You're just going down there and sweating.

So the bandage wouldn't stick, so

it started leaking out from under the bandage.

Maybe Billy was an outlier there.

We always believed that.

That one I believe.

Yeah, no, I knew it was happening.

Rich people probably.

Yeah, that's all.

It's the mail thing.

I don't believe you haven't gotten mail intentionally.

Rich people shit.

It's the award show thing.

The award show.

You've watched an award show.

I just know it.

Someone earlier today said, and I won't betray any confidence.

Someone earlier said today, Dan's become that friend that just says things.

All of those things I said are true, though.

When you say it's not that expensive, actually, it's rather

taking blood, giving you blood?

What's the deal with this blood exchange?

They are taking blood so that doctors can look at where my blood is so that I can make sure that I'm healthy because we need money to keep coming in here.

How come no one doubts that you're a sleep farter?

That just seems believable.

Just look at me.

It does.

I think, put it on the poll at Lebitard show.

Can you identify sleep farters just from looking at people?

What if a bus drives by with the blood fairy and like fumes get in like the needle somehow?

And it's like, wow, you have a lot of

carbon emissions in your blood.

It's more than that.

At 8 a.m.

every day, like clockwork, those garbage trucks come through on whatever the days are, Tuesday and Friday.

They come through, and

it is not a healthy thing I am doing.

Well, I guess it is a healthy thing.

It's not the best place to do it.

Why isn't it?

Hey, Dr.

Ferry, just come upstairs.

Let's do this, you know, in the living room, whatever, on the counter.

It's just more convenient to get in and out the way that I'm doing it.

It's just quicker.

I've got to get to other things.

So these things are efficient.

You guys don't believe the mail thing.

The information of the mail gets to me.

I just don't.

I don't know how to open our mailbox where it is at home.

I don't know where the keys are to our mailbox.

I have no idea where it is.

You don't know how to open a mailbox?

I don't know where the keys to our mailbox are.

I don't, you know, what was the third thing that you guys don't believe?

It was the

award show.

The award show for sure.

Everything else is totally believable, and it would be unbelievable if you actually did pick up your own mail.

I'm not alone.

I think the majority of our audience probably hasn't watched an award show in 10 years.

Like, I think the award show has,

the grand majority of people are not watching the award shows.

Like, whatever the numbers are, the dying numbers on award shows, the grand majority of people watching television are not watching the award shows.

Yeah, but you could say half of the country's not watching the Super Bowl.

I mean, you know, you're never going to get the audience that you used to have.

When's the last time you saw an award show?

When would you say was the last time you sat in front of a television and watched 10 minutes of an award show?

Almost every award show because my wife is addicted to award shows.

So if I'm in the house, The award show will be on.

You're not watching the Grammys, pal?

Aspire to be Greg's level of normal also is not.

I feel like my dad's relationship with award shows is everyone's.

It's on.

It's in the middle of February.

I'm with you.

Nobody is like, I have to watch this.

Well, there are a lot of people.

There are a lot of people who will watch an award show, but that's just not one.

Look, man, there's no appointment viewing any more other than live sports.

Like there, there are no...

Award shows.

That's the whole point of award shows.

That's why they're still a thing.

But you can see them on clips, but a lot of the clips get put out to Dance Point.

Like, you'll see all the good stuff online.

Award shows are going the way of late night television.

It's just taking a little bit longer.

I care about the Grammys.

I'll watch the Country Music Awards.

I'm not big on the Emmys or the Golden Globes or anything like that, but my wife, for whatever reason, loves award shows.

I like the red carpet.

I'm a sucker for on a Sunday.

It's nice Sunday television, getting ready for the work week.

Let me just throw on the red carpet.

Like, I'm more into the red carpet than I am the actual award show.

That's another thing.

You're married.

I feel like Valerie would be all over a Grammy Awards or the occasional red carpet nope see who ryan secrets is talking to today you guys aren't fans of the glam bot the oh yeah i like the little thing where they also the one where you walk your fingernails on the red the runway

look at the manicure on this one that means i miss joan rivers yeah yeah i hate the red carpet i hate that i hate the question who are you wearing really that question just grates on my nerves every time i hear it who are you wearing oh i'm wearing a jacket i'm wearing a dress they've changed it they've changed it to what's the story you're telling Yeah, we've heard that too.

Well, what's the story you're telling with that shirt we talked about for five minutes?

It's my disco shirt.

Yeah.

But I'm saying we can't screw that.

We just did that.

No, but who am I wearing?

Like, I don't know

the label on it.

Who am I wearing?

If you ask me, what about why are you wearing a weird shirt?

I'm like, it's my disco shirt.

What do we got here?

Don't you love when like a costume becomes part of your regular wardrobe?

Yes.

What is it, Dan?

I do.

100% nylon.

It's something called SSLR.

Sears and Roberts.

I think it was Sears and Roebuck.

I know, but my Nana Doogie used to say Sears and Roberts.

She was like a Casey Stengel.

You know, before her time, she would mispronounce words and almost get the right word, but instead of Sears and Roebuck, it was Sears and Roberts.

God bless her soul.

Nana Doogie died way too young.

Died of sugar diabetes when she was in her early 60s.

I barely remember her.

Available at Walmart.

Seem to be like Hawaiian-type shirts and casual wear.

There you go.

See, it's a big name in this line.

I don't know if it's a big name.

I wanted to ask you guys this question because a friend of mine told me just yesterday that he is no longer going to Publix

because

Publix is,

he's seen them side by side.

That if you do the grocery shopping at Walmart, it's half as much right now as it is for the same things at Publix because of everything that's happening with farming, with tariffs, with inflation, with everything else that

you can do your grocery shopping at a Walmart or a Target for half as much as you can in grocery stores that he's saying are now actively gouging because you could just put the prices next to each other and see that one place can afford to sell it.

for half as much as the other.

Has this been your experience?

Obviously, we've all seen what's gone up at the grocery store.

I'm guessing all of you have seen like the places where the grocery stores don't have some things that they usually have.

And all people, it seems like, are feeling the weight of how prices are changing.

The bigger corporations are under more pressure from the current administration to not have the prices caused by tariffs rolled down to the customer.

Also, for big national brands, those price increases take a couple of weeks to take into effect, which is why a lot of economic experts are saying we haven't haven't even felt the full brunt of the economic impact of the tariffs just yet.

But a shop like Publix, which is more regional, quicker to increase those prices.

Chris, can you give me a rough estimate for what this shirt, what is your father wearing?

What is the story that he's telling?

Now that we have studied that shirt, and it hasn't been worn a lot, right, Greg?

No, it hasn't.

This is probably the third or fourth time I've ever worn it.

The bejeweled buttons are a nice touch.

They are.

The golden crusted buttons.

No, they're beautiful.

I wish they snapped.

They look like buttons that would snap, but they do like regular buttons, so that's a little bit of a trial.

You don't have a louder shirt than that, do you?

Because it is from the Samson collection.

I have one shirt that's

equally loud.

It's my horse racing shirt.

It's a colorful shirt that has

pictures of horses and finish lines and

wear in honor of

Tomley and Isla Grande.

What?

Team Valor.

Glad you guys were listening to each other and not talking over each other.

Good job.

Thank you.

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