The Big Suey: Best Dismissal

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Speaker 3 Welcome to the Big Sue,

Speaker 11 presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? It's a podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebetard podcast.

Speaker 13 I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

Speaker 11 In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there.

Speaker 11 That hasn't happened to you guys.

Speaker 14 I've done it.

Speaker 11 And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

Speaker 15 This episode is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

Speaker 11 Zaslow is getting a bit too comfortable with his stardom, with everything happening with him. He's really, it's been quite the late career blossom, not unlike Chris Mad Dog Russo here.

Speaker 17 What do you how do you think he is?

Speaker 2 Late career blossom like Chris Mad Dog Russo.

Speaker 11 Morning Radio aged Zaszlo by 477 years.

Speaker 15 I'll never get those years back. That's how life goes.
You know, you can't get years back.

Speaker 11 Zaszlo I saw aged more than Obama because of what morning radio did to him. The presidency was less hard on Obama than morning radio was on Zaz.

Speaker 15 I was the president of morning radio.

Speaker 11 Yes, he was.

Speaker 11 And one of the things that I've noticed around here, though, in him getting comfortable and he just went up against the brake there and he had a point, but he was casually, you know, rolling his finger around while wearing Cody's jacket.

Speaker 11 And the thing that I noticed is that the smell of Zazlo singing near my ear earlier in the show still smells like the breakfast that Zazzlo enjoyed. Chris, why are you mouthing, oh my God?

Speaker 20 Zaszlo, he likes to eat. That's what I've learned.
If I've learned anything about Zaszlo in these months working with him, my guy gets after it.

Speaker 21 Okay, I take part in all of the meals that are given, but I'm not some glutton.

Speaker 23 I don't take seconds.

Speaker 2 I mean, like, maybe

Speaker 11 more than my share,

Speaker 11 I had half a croissant egg and cheese sandwich.

Speaker 1 The one thing you've learned about Zaszlo, he likes to eat.

Speaker 2 What a

Speaker 1 dick move.

Speaker 25 I learned his son's an ingrade.

Speaker 24 And he likes the Arab fighters.

Speaker 11 And Thai food.

Speaker 15 Now I'm going to starve myself.

Speaker 26 Also, he may not know what Thai food is.

Speaker 20 I mean, Zaz is telling me all the time that he talks about what we have at his ESPN meetings.

Speaker 27 It's like the daily, like, what it

Speaker 27 spread today.

Speaker 15 I do love bragging to them at EA Hall Great Speaker.

Speaker 26 But they can tell. Like, they can tell that you've been eating.

Speaker 15 You think so? Oh, they could tell. Yeah.

Speaker 2 How old are you, just out of curiosity?

Speaker 24 44.

Speaker 26 44. I did some research.

Speaker 28 So Mad Dog launched Mad Dog Radio at 49.

Speaker 22 So Dan wasn't that far off in terms of late.

Speaker 11 Look,

Speaker 2 Zazzla right now is being flown first class.

Speaker 11 I don't know if you know what's happening at ESPN, but Mel Kuiper and Orlovsky are on fire.

Speaker 11 And I told you a long time ago, Dilford got mad because Herb Street had a plane and they said, see you later, Dilford.

Speaker 11 And Zaszlo's got first class. It's hard to get first class.
My dad still wanders around making fun of ESPN because he says, you know what they tried to do?

Speaker 11 They gave me a contract where they gave me first class flights and then they didn't send me anywhere.

Speaker 11 He's like, what is that?

Speaker 11 You can get my father on the phone. He'll start complaining while still taking Disney's benefits.
Zaslow getting first class is a big deal. I don't think radio gives around first class to anybody.

Speaker 9 Have you explained to your dad that maybe ESPN is also laughing?

Speaker 2 Like, hey, we conceded first-class flights to a guy that we never sent anywhere. And you think you see one.

Speaker 11 Zaszlo is rising in the industry, but he's gotten to ESPN where people are burning.

Speaker 11 And he keeps bragging about the sandwiches we have around here. So that's a real victory for Metal Arc Media.
Good spreadsheet. Zazzlo, it's plural.
Good spreads. Yeah.

Speaker 11 And you still smell like the morning breakfast, but there is no reason for you to stick around for the lunch.

Speaker 15 You feel like I'm having enough in the breakfast. Well,

Speaker 11 I'm just saying I have enjoyed that you are.

Speaker 1 What are we doing to this man? He has shown up here, worked hard, been a pleasure to be around, and we're throwing him under the bus.

Speaker 29 That's what we do here.

Speaker 11 No, no, no. Jeremy, you're misunderstanding what's happening here.
I am wildly grateful in general for Zaz, but Zaz is wildly grateful that anyone in radio will feed you.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I've never had a job where food was provided.

Speaker 18 Are you kidding me?

Speaker 27 All right, breakfast and lunch here.

Speaker 22 Come on.

Speaker 30 But he comes through.

Speaker 11 Like,

Speaker 11 you guys know what's happening to radio, right? Like, the last bit of that was chewing up Zazzlo. They were not feeding him.

Speaker 2 They were eating him.

Speaker 28 I mean, but radio, honestly, they're just sending Tom Dick and Jane first class. Like, they kind of deserve what they have coming.

Speaker 2 Why did you get

Speaker 11 any Tom, Dick, and Jane when you're clearly a bigger star than Freddie Fitz?

Speaker 21 That's not a real person.

Speaker 26 We never got the results on that one.

Speaker 26 Freddie Fitz might be bigger.

Speaker 9 Do you think Harry's like, how did Jane get in there?

Speaker 11 We have not yet talked about what Lionel Messi did last night, and I made a mistake in not

Speaker 11 doing so because

Speaker 11 he scores in the 88th minute, two goals, and he's coming off of hamstring issues. And I know he's better than anyone in the league.

Speaker 11 I just am legitimately confused by how it is that this person has not aged. Like,

Speaker 11 I understand that this isn't the best competition for him, but he's already done it against the best competition as recently as like 18 months ago, and he's still at the top of the sport, and it doesn't make any sense to me.

Speaker 9 He's doing the things that he would do at Barcelona, where, hey, we just need to give it to our best player, and he just needs to be a demigod here. So he did it at every level.

Speaker 9 Stands a reason he'd do it at MLS, but it felt inevitable. They were down late in that game to a bitter rival in Orlando.

Speaker 11 He scores at the 77th minute and the 88th minute.

Speaker 9 He executes a penalty, which gave Orlando a red card.

Speaker 9 And you know, once he buries that equalizer, it's only a matter of time before he takes advantage of a team that's a man down and puts Inner Miami into their second Leagues Cup final.

Speaker 9 Billy, are we clear on what the League of Cups' Cups is a big championship?

Speaker 31 Like, this is one.

Speaker 11 No, this is the one, the other one that no one was pressed by them.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, it's the one.

Speaker 9 Dan, let me correct you. It's not the other one.

Speaker 23 Is this the one they give you the serving dish for?

Speaker 9 I think this one's a serving dish. Yeah, this one's a serving dish, but it's also not the other one.
This is probably, well, U.S. Open Cup.
They won this one already? They did.

Speaker 5 Yes, no, they won this one.

Speaker 11 No, no, no, not this one. The one that we're presently in, they haven't won this one.

Speaker 2 Yeah, previously.

Speaker 5 Two years ago.

Speaker 4 But this isn't the championship.

Speaker 26 Even though it's called the League's Cup.

Speaker 9 So it's called the League's League's Cup because they share this tournament with Liga Amechis in Mexico.

Speaker 2 I'm more confused now.

Speaker 9 However, the Mexican teams are always garbage, and

Speaker 9 they do very poorly in this tournament. So the semifinals were all MLS teams.
Miami played Orlando. Seattle played LA Galaxy.
Seattle ended up winning their semifinals.

Speaker 9 So Messi, who didn't want to play in the All-Star game because of all this bonkers traveling.

Speaker 5 The All-Star game for this League's Cup.

Speaker 9 Now he has to hop on a plane plane and fly all the way to Seattle to win another League's Cup.

Speaker 9 So we'll see if they do that, and that's more hardware for Inner Miami and what's been a wildly successful venture. We had Taylor Twellman on and make some news last week.

Speaker 9 He said with a lot of certainty that he expects Messi in that Inner Miami uniform when that stadium opens. The expectation among Inner Miami is they've got a very good proposal out to Messi.

Speaker 15 He actually laughed at the notion that he might not be in the stadium.

Speaker 9 Yeah,

Speaker 9 there's a a ton of confidence that Messi will be here.

Speaker 28 No, you gotta, I mean, look, it's not the most ethical thing in the world, but you gotta start talking to the Saudis, right? Like, if you're him, you go and you flirt with the Saudis.

Speaker 4 Like, I don't know, the stadium looks nice next to that airport.

Speaker 28 I'm sure traffic's not going to be a nightmare, but that's Saudi money.

Speaker 14 It looks pretty good.

Speaker 9 If there's one thing that we know, it's that Messi is not going to follow in Ronaldo's footsteps.

Speaker 9 That is not the thing he's going to do.

Speaker 4 But the guy turned down a ton of money from the Saudis because it was like, well, I can't play for the Saudis.

Speaker 23 And then they just went and played there anyways anyways at an exhibition.

Speaker 9 Let me correct you. Messi did not turn down a lot of money from the Saudis.
He is an ambassador for their tourism industry and he is collecting a lot of money from the Saudis.

Speaker 9 He's just not collecting money from them to play.

Speaker 11 It wasn't that long ago before we were talking about the Saudi money as it related to soccer players that all over the globe you would have gotten a split on who's the best player in the world, Ronaldo or Messi.

Speaker 11 It wasn't that long ago, I'm gonna say, four years ago, five years ago, and what's happened with the late parts of their career when I tell you, look, I saw what Zlatan did coming over here and doing what he was trying to do for this sport.

Speaker 11 For Messi to play at the top of this one and the top of the game, while Ronaldo has cheapened himself in all of the ways, to see the separation of what

Speaker 11 wasn't that long ago a legitimate argument and now is not any kind of debate. Messi has separated himself as best in the world over this last stretch of career management.

Speaker 11 And I'm genuinely stunned when I tell you that at this age in that sport, you're not supposed to have the legs against young people to be the one who can do it in the 88th minute.

Speaker 11 Like, that's how aging is supposed to happen.

Speaker 11 You're going to get slower and more tired and late in the game, you're going to fade away against young legs, hungry legs, but he's still at the top of the whole thing.

Speaker 15 It seems that he conserves himself throughout the game pretty well.

Speaker 27 Like, he does a lot of walking out there.

Speaker 9 Yeah, on the ball, he can be quick when he needs to be. He's very smart about conserving his energy, and that's going to be how he ages with Grace.

Speaker 9 He's a dynamite player, and yeah, it kind of feels-I already know this is going to get clipped for social because of the engagement on Messi and Ronaldo.

Speaker 9 So, what I'm about to say may be perceived as inflammatory, but I think that debate got put to rest with the World Cup and what he was able to do then.

Speaker 9 And look, Ronaldo's scoring goals in Saudi Arabia, the Saudi Arabia

Speaker 15 compared to MLS.

Speaker 9 Look, Al-Hilal had a much further run than Innermaimi had in the Club World Cup. Al-Halal beat Manchester City.

Speaker 9 There is good quality sides there. They spend a lot of money, a lot more money than MLS clubs do on their talent.
So I don't,

Speaker 9 like, Ronaldo fans and stands may have the ability to say he's doing it against tougher competition. And I'm not really interested in that debate.

Speaker 9 But Messi still seems to be a top 15 player in the world. And it's not just in MLS.
He's still the talisman for Argentina. Everything runs through Messi.

Speaker 9 And we're going going to see in another World Cup where he's going to be damn near 40, or if not at 40 years old, and he's still going to be the best player and most depended on player for Argentina.

Speaker 11 Ronaldo is what age, and Messi is what age? Because I will tell you again, I will not get used to how it is that Serena and Tom Brady and LeBron James and Diana Taurasi age.

Speaker 11 It doesn't have scientific precedent before this recent time. To have Messi age, to separate himself from Ronaldo at the age when these people should fall apart like Ronaldo is a greatest of all time.

Speaker 11 Debate just usually doesn't fall apart that way right in front of you while you're watching it so that you don't even have to do the history 30 years from now.

Speaker 11 I watched when it is that Messi became the best player in the world.

Speaker 9 Ronaldo is 40 years old. Messi is presently 38.
However, Ronaldo will say himself that he is biologically 27.

Speaker 11 The body type on Messi must help him age at least a little bit better than Ronaldo would age.

Speaker 5 This is a player that, especially in Europe,

Speaker 9 how do you stop Messi?

Speaker 5 You have to get physical with him.

Speaker 9 He's the best player that opposing defenders will ever see.

Speaker 15 There was a lot of complaining last night, right, from Orlando City?

Speaker 9 So he's been subject over the course of his over 20-year career to...

Speaker 9 horrendous tackles, people trying to get a pound of flesh from him, quite literally, because he's small, because he's smaller in stature. People try to put their shoulder in him.

Speaker 9 So that body has taken a beating.

Speaker 9 And what we've seen in the latter stage of his career here, that soft tissue injury reputation that he's starting to develop, but he just came back to the team fresh from injury and won them the game almost single-handedly last night.

Speaker 9 He's an incredible player and probably the greatest athlete of our lifetimes.

Speaker 9 And we're blessed to be living in this generation, even though we're probably living in the echo of a universe that already died thousands of years ago.

Speaker 11 He's not the best athlete of this generation. LeBron is.

Speaker 9 Now this is a different, Now Bailey's going to algo touch it.

Speaker 26 Shohei Otani is.

Speaker 9 Serena Williams. I'm an ally.

Speaker 11 Connor McDavid is.

Speaker 17 Conor McDavid.

Speaker 4 Joey Chestnut, Venus Williams.

Speaker 17 Zazagri, Serena Williams.

Speaker 9 See Martin also.

Speaker 33 One of the Williams.

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Speaker 16 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 15 That was a long story.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 It's the only kind he tells.

Speaker 3 It's a short one for me.

Speaker 28 I tried to speed it up for you guys.

Speaker 9 You forgot about the League's Cup.

Speaker 12 Stugats.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 11 La Carreta is a place where the best of the celebrations has to be the 97 Marlin celebration because it was Leviathan.

Speaker 4 Well, when Fidel died the first time.

Speaker 16 This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats.

Speaker 11 Billy, thermometers.

Speaker 22 Yeah, we're locked up.

Speaker 4 What do you want me to do?

Speaker 28 I can't do anything about it.

Speaker 4 I ended up getting one. I talked to the guy.
I said, hey, can you give me...

Speaker 23 You know how embarrassing it is to walk up to someone like, hey, I need your key to like unlock something.

Speaker 28 Like, whoa. I gotta like the people.

Speaker 22 Are you doing that with your voice?

Speaker 23 Whoa, look at this guy.

Speaker 28 What's he up to? What's he gonna buy here?

Speaker 4 A bunch of pseudo-fed or something? It's like, no, I just need a thermometer.

Speaker 15 Why did they always? I think they still do this actually. They keep the razors behind the locked glass.

Speaker 11 i mean that one i understand more than thermometers why i need a shame so what what is the strangest or most curious thing that you've had to like the cold medicine is something i i don't know whether we all learn this at the same time i don't know when this became a thing the idea of uh putting a case around certain things because people will steal it uh to use as drugs to use uh to uh

Speaker 28 the things that are being hidden are not necessarily just the expensive things right they're things like razors that you could do damage with uh and so what are the like why are the thermometers in there i don't know because it was a flexible digital thermometer it wasn't even like it had like the uh whatever the silver stuff is that the old ones used to have mercury it has to be to avoid theft i used to do that mercury thermometer my mom would put it right under my tongue uh-huh you ever put it up to the take the little lamp well like i'm ferris bueller yeah yeah oh you weren't a delinquent huh

Speaker 37 If it's, if it broke, because they were glass, if it broke, did you like, oh, what do I do?

Speaker 15 You have to run out of the house.

Speaker 33 Did you ever touch the mercury?

Speaker 4 No. Just a little curious touching, like, oh, wow, this thing sticks together.

Speaker 23 No, that's like poison, dude.

Speaker 5 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 28 Maybe for people like you.

Speaker 11 Put on the poll at Lebatard show: is the mercury inside of a thermometer poison?

Speaker 11 And also, Jeremy, look up for me when it is that drugstores started doing the thing of putting things in a case so that Billy has to suffer the embarrassment of he wants a thermometer. Now he's got a.

Speaker 26 It was like a bike chain that they had on it or something. It was like on a little bit.

Speaker 23 Like a pen at the bank? It was like, it was like a little. little, it was hanging from a little hook where you can't slide it off.
And then they had like this

Speaker 26 lock on it. The guy had to come in.

Speaker 4 I think it was just a magnet.

Speaker 28 I don't want to tell people how to get around the locks there, but I think he just had a magnet.

Speaker 33 I think if you take a magnet, you can unlock all those locks and just get the thermometers all you want.

Speaker 26 I was watching.

Speaker 23 It didn't wasn't like a code. I didn't steal his code.

Speaker 26 If you're going to unlock something with a magnet, there was no lock.

Speaker 23 I think it was just a magnet. Take a magnet if you need to go.

Speaker 2 It doesn't work underwater.

Speaker 3 Magnets don't work underwater.

Speaker 5 That's what I heard.

Speaker 11 Chris Cody said something today today

Speaker 11 that was both surprising and not surprising and got me to thinking.

Speaker 11 Billy just said earlier

Speaker 11 he doesn't have an inner circle. It's his wife and his daughter, and that's it.

Speaker 28 No, no, I said people I've impregnated and the people that have come out of the people I've impregnated.

Speaker 5 That is right. I didn't specify.

Speaker 2 That's your crew. Okay.

Speaker 11 Yeah. You didn't specify.
So it might be more than just your wife and daughter.

Speaker 14 I just, you know, I didn't specify.

Speaker 11 All right. So the, all right, so the inner circle.

Speaker 14 I forget it's my business, you know.

Speaker 11 Okay, you might have a secret family.

Speaker 15 Can someone just show up and say, you impregnated me, so I'm part of your crew now?

Speaker 11 They could be part of the inner circle.

Speaker 4 I have a specific look.

Speaker 28 I think I could figure out pretty quickly if I did impregnate them or not, you know?

Speaker 11 I think it is very hard to get into Billy's inner circle, but I think it is easier, much easier to get in.

Speaker 14 I don't want to get in.

Speaker 4 Like, I'm just, I'm just, I don't mean to interrupt you, but you, like, we're making this a whole to-do.

Speaker 28 You don't want to be in my inner circle. I don't want to be in my inner circle.

Speaker 11 I've been texting you the way everyone texts you, and Fuentes is the one who gets texts back and that's how I arrive at the arrival

Speaker 11 at the place where I believe that your inner circle is very tight. Fuentes has bragged to everyone.
He got 11 texts from you or there was there was 11.

Speaker 4 No, no, texts in between us.

Speaker 23 They could have been 10 from him in one response. He was very vague about it intentionally.

Speaker 11 Well, but he did tell the room that he had an access to you that the rest of us do not have. But Chris does this differently.
Chris, I believe, his inner circle is easier to get into.

Speaker 11 However, the deepest points in his inner circle might not be as deep because Chris said, I don't have a best friend.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 20 It was kind of like in that inner circle talk, I was just kind of thinking, like, who's my inner circle? And I do have an inner circle and I have friends.

Speaker 20 I'd say I have seven to ten friends that I'd call really close.

Speaker 12 That's a lot of friends at this age.

Speaker 20 But I don't have anyone, that there's not one that I'm like, that's my best friend. Yeah.
And I want a best friend.

Speaker 11 Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Do you have a best friend? Because I think it's unusual not to have

Speaker 11 a best friend

Speaker 39 while having.

Speaker 28 I'm not saying my wife.

Speaker 4 Just let's stop that right there.

Speaker 5 Your spouse is not your best friend.

Speaker 15 What a loser would say that.

Speaker 17 My wife's my best friend. Here we go.

Speaker 34 Who's your best friend?

Speaker 4 Oh, boy. Dan.
Dan, you know what he's going to say.

Speaker 11 It was my brother.

Speaker 20 Oh, not your wife. Somehow more awkward.

Speaker 5 Not what I thought he was going to say.

Speaker 9 That's not the question that he asked. He asked, who's your best friend right now? Yeah.
That was gratuitous. Living.
In fact, penalty box.

Speaker 2 Out of here. Not fair to do that.

Speaker 5 I don't feel good about this.

Speaker 34 That's not fair to do that.

Speaker 14 What?

Speaker 9 I I mean, he asked him a question: who's your best friend?

Speaker 34 Not who it was.

Speaker 2 I mean, look, come on.

Speaker 11 What's the penalty?

Speaker 9 Making us feel like shit.

Speaker 2 All right, hold on a second. Let me see if I have that first.

Speaker 20 I think we have that one.

Speaker 2 More of Ethan's voice.

Speaker 4 Four of the 11 texts between me and Frenta's was: What time is Mystery Crate starting? Hey, come down.

Speaker 26 It's time to start.

Speaker 4 And me saying, okay.

Speaker 28 That's what you're jealous of.

Speaker 9 Minor penalty, two minutes.

Speaker 5 Peste, tremendous. Come a mierda.

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Speaker 9 The weather's getting a little chillier. That means the football games are more important.

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Speaker 27 Holidays?

Speaker 10 Fun. Holidays as a dad?

Speaker 2 Tough.

Speaker 10 Travel, gifts, matching pajamas. Don't get me started on matching pajamas.
It's hot in Miami. My wife says, why don't you want to do this with us? My daughter's crying.

Speaker 10 Anyways, school parties, hosting a family. Next thing I know, I basically put Christmas on my credit card and have no idea what I spent where.

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I swear.

Speaker 16 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 28 I may take it one step further.

Speaker 18 Wait a minute.

Speaker 19 Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Speaker 30 You're getting sexier by the moment.

Speaker 18 Slow down. We haven't even gotten.

Speaker 12 Stugats.

Speaker 27 Jason Sanders, you're unnoticed.

Speaker 27 Oh my God. Come on in spite of him.

Speaker 16 Oh, wow. I love you, Duke.
This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.

Speaker 4 Let's get the best dismissal.

Speaker 4 The 2025 SUI Awards are presented by Miller Light.

Speaker 24 Cast your vote at levatardaf.com.

Speaker 20 Winners will be announced this upcoming Tuesday, September 2nd.

Speaker 2 This is Best Dismissal.

Speaker 42 And now the SUI nominees for best dismissal. Billy Gill and Greg Cody dismiss the Savannah Bananas.
It's a clown show.

Speaker 39 I need banana balling.

Speaker 43 They're running around wearing capes, actual capes.

Speaker 26 Look at that dimension.

Speaker 20 That left field wall is 120 feet away.

Speaker 42 It's just a modern-day Harlem Globetrotters, which I'm wrong with that. I thought we had all outgrown that.
You know, throwing a bucket of water on somebody, but oh, there's confetti in there.

Speaker 18 It's not water. Ho-ho!

Speaker 42 Tom Cruise dismisses Father's Day.

Speaker 35 Also, I got to ask Father's Day is just around the corner. What would an ideal Father's Day look like for you?

Speaker 45 Hey, you know, just having fun, man. Making movies, big adventure, having a great time.

Speaker 42 Greg Cody dismisses NFL Red Zone. I enjoy watching one game at a time.
Okay, I'm anti-red zone. An isolated game.
Yeah, I mean, my wife's watching Red Zone.

Speaker 42 It's like a flurry of in its overload of information, going from one game to the next, and then back to here and back to there. Red Zone's showing plays that aren't even in the red zone.

Speaker 42 It's a misnamed network. I want a network that shows me the shank 20.

Speaker 18 The punt. Uh-huh.
Shank punts. Shunts.

Speaker 7 Yes. Careful.

Speaker 29 All punts. The all-punt.

Speaker 18 Why not?

Speaker 18 The APM.

Speaker 11 Wanstead would be addicted to it.

Speaker 7 He would be.

Speaker 42 Nick Wright dismisses Tony's football analysis.

Speaker 46 We look at the Chiefs side, and I feel bad saying this because Nick Wright is over our shoulder.

Speaker 46 We're looking at a team that if things go the opposite way, this is a laughingstock of a team that doesn't make the playoffs.

Speaker 16 Okay, yeah, that's why Tony's on that side of the room to not really pepper in those sports.

Speaker 18 Come on, Dick.

Speaker 18 I mean, the thing is, like, I like Tony, but I'm just telling you,

Speaker 14 yes,

Speaker 21 I agree that if you turned their wins into losses, their record would have been worse.

Speaker 18 That's all I'm saying.

Speaker 42 Billy Gill dismisses Europe.

Speaker 48 Europe sucks. I don't know if you're aware of this.

Speaker 32 Like, we keep saying, like, well, in Europe, this would happen.

Speaker 48 Europe is terrible, which is why all of us left Europe. That's why everybody's here in America, because everyone decided, you know what?

Speaker 12 Europe is terrible.

Speaker 29 Like, the English decided, the Spaniards decided, the Italians decided. Every single person came together at one point in time and said, you know what?

Speaker 29 We may not disagree on a lot of things, but we can all agree.

Speaker 12 Europe sucks.

Speaker 29 Let's just jump on this boat and see where it takes us because we can't be here anymore.

Speaker 43 Because Europe, again, terrible.

Speaker 29 No air conditioning.

Speaker 23 Everything is old.

Speaker 18 Horrible.

Speaker 29 All they do is try to steal American culture and then tell you all of their old crap is so great.

Speaker 43 Europe, terrible.

Speaker 16 And it takes forever to get there.

Speaker 32 Forever to get there.

Speaker 43 If I'm boarding a plane for eight hours, Europe better not be where I'm landing.

Speaker 42 Actor Nick Toturo dismisses Bob Costas.

Speaker 50 I can't take Costas no more.

Speaker 18 Oh, no.

Speaker 50 Let me watch the game. I said, I just, I was yelling at the TV.
Let me watch the game, Bob.

Speaker 51 Please, shut up. And he wouldn't shut up.
He would not shut up.

Speaker 50 When I'm watching a game, he was like interrupting me. And I was just like, can you let it breathe, please? We know you know a lot about baseball.
Stop being, you know, smarter than the game.

Speaker 50 You're not.

Speaker 42 Bob Costas dismisses Billy Gill.

Speaker 51 One of your limited frame of reference Peanut Gallery guys

Speaker 51 said at one point, you know, I don't even know why he's called Bob. He's the kind of guy.
that really should have been even in grade school would have demanded that he be called Robert.

Speaker 51 This is what happens when you don't know Jack shit.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 51 Saturday Night Live,

Speaker 44 Letterman, Leno, Carson, Conin, basketball, Pootie Tang, the papers. Yes.

Speaker 51 You know, if somebody knew as little, even if they were 20 years old, knew as little about baseball history and then was talking about last night's game with no frame of reference, they'd be laughed out of the room.

Speaker 51 You know, laughter, that kind of thing.

Speaker 42 Greg Cody dismisses the Oscars. The Oscars need to, it's funny they have a category for editing because they don't edit themselves.
Talk about a metaphor for the night, the brutalist.

Speaker 42 It's brutal watching anything for three and a half hours, whether it's a film or an award show. Now, Anora sounds like, it's a terrible name for a film, Anora.
But I didn't hear, is it a woman's name?

Speaker 42 What is it? It sounds like a car. I drive a Toyota Anora.
You know, the shipping container dismisses Dan for asking Gary Owen a terrible question.

Speaker 11 Do you have a pop culture topic that everyone's seeking your opinion on these days?

Speaker 11 Any question that you're getting about what's happening in the news that is about one subject matter more than another?

Speaker 37 I mean, everybody's asking opinions about Diddy.

Speaker 37 That's the big one right now.

Speaker 18 Dan, you don't get to make that face.

Speaker 18 He warned me.

Speaker 14 Dan's question was like, hey, what's the pop culture thing everybody's asking you?

Speaker 19 All right.

Speaker 18 Talk about that.

Speaker 30 Everyone's mind went to Diddy, right?

Speaker 39 When Dan brought up the question. We're like, okay, you're asking him about Diddy.
And your opinion on that?

Speaker 19 Just ask him about Diddy.

Speaker 11 There were other choices he could be making.

Speaker 14 And Dr.

Speaker 18 Lamar's daddy. Where'd you pull that one from?

Speaker 4 I never terrorists, Gary.

Speaker 31 Look, see now, old man. Over 20 years, I didn't think you could get worse at tossing things up to comedians, but yet here we are.

Speaker 17 Did he follow up or

Speaker 42 David Sampson dismisses vow renewals?

Speaker 40 You don't get a gift. I'm not going to attend.
I want no part of a vow renewal of any kind. I think it's absolute horse hockey, personally.
People, all right, you're in love. You're still married.

Speaker 40 What are are you showing off? Because the rest of us are divorced. Oh, for my 25th anniversary, I'm going to renew my vows in Vegas.
Give me a break. I'm totally out on vow renewals.

Speaker 40 I think it's ridiculous.

Speaker 42 Jonathan Zaslow dismisses Chris Whittingham's Panthers takes.

Speaker 47 We did a month after the Panthers got eliminated from the playoffs on Spencer Knight is better than Sergei Bogrovsky did.

Speaker 52 And somehow I have the wrong take on the Panthers.

Speaker 14 Somehow, you have the wrong take.

Speaker 52 The Stanley Cup champions.

Speaker 8 Somehow he got it right.

Speaker 14 Murderer phone over there. Okay, but I can admit that I was dead wrong.

Speaker 29 I was dead wrong. And I'm thrilled that I was dead wrong.

Speaker 11 You're sitting there saying how the Panthers got it wrong and they're the champions.

Speaker 42 Greg Cody dismisses Chris Cody. Christopher, what are you reading? I'm not used to seeing you read a book.

Speaker 32 What do you read?

Speaker 42 Other than menus.

Speaker 18 Wow. I did quite the dick.

Speaker 31 Did you just set yourself up?

Speaker 19 Wow. He did.

Speaker 18 He did.

Speaker 14 He set yourself up. He did.
He set himself up for a joke.

Speaker 54 At the expense of his son, he threw himself an alley over.

Speaker 18 I respect on his son with a fat joke. I respect, yeah.

Speaker 32 Thank you.

Speaker 42 Billy Gill dismisses Wayne Heisinger.

Speaker 38 Yeah, screw that guy.

Speaker 28 I love booing dead people. A bill.

Speaker 19 What?

Speaker 18 Such a weird thing.

Speaker 19 You love booing dead people. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 17 I get the last laugh.

Speaker 28 You think you leave this earth and I'm going to forget about what you did? I will not, Wayne Heisinger.

Speaker 42 Katie Nolan dismisses Tom Brady's teeth.

Speaker 55 Those teeth he has might be the wrong size for his mouth.

Speaker 18 I do wish he would.

Speaker 55 And I Google that you can have them. You can go back to the person who did them and be like, can you shave these down a little? And I think that that'd be in his best interest.

Speaker 55 I hear his teeth when he talks.

Speaker 42 Jonathan Zaszlo dismisses emotional support animals.

Speaker 15 I don't want to hear about the dog being an emotional support animal, though. Like, that's garbage.
Like, everybody has a dog to emotionally support you.

Speaker 15 You have a dog because having the dog makes you feel good, all right? That's everyone. So the fact that you could bring your dog anywhere because it's an emotional support animal, that's bullshit.

Speaker 42 Greg Cody dismisses people complaining about egg prices. I wander by the egg aisle.
I see the eggs are, I think, $6.49 or $5.99 or something. Sizable hike, warranted.
Okay, respect the chicken.

Speaker 42 They do a lot of work. You know, I mean, eggs, you can cook them four or five different ways.
They're all great. Eggs have been underpriced for years.
Let's quit complaining about the price of eggs.

Speaker 42 Billy Gill dismisses John Mulaney.

Speaker 28 Learn your place, Mulaney. You're not a a sex symbol.

Speaker 17 Like enough. Wow.

Speaker 11 Are you sure he's not a sex?

Speaker 24 Yeah, he's not supposed to be.

Speaker 4 I just stay in your lane.

Speaker 45 He's forcing it.

Speaker 28 So, write your jokes, be your funny guy.

Speaker 4 Have that be your appeal.

Speaker 28 This sex symbol trying to pull get out of here, Mulaney, please.

Speaker 3 He is married to Olivia Mullen. Yeah, well, he was married to someone else before.

Speaker 42 Mike Ryan dismisses David Sampson's Marlins Hall of Fame credentials.

Speaker 40 Do I think that when you look at important figures in the history of the franchise, am I in that conversation?

Speaker 40 I don't know how to argue against that.

Speaker 43 Allow me.

Speaker 31 You killed baseball in this market.

Speaker 27 You don't get to be in a Hall of Fame for killing baseball.

Speaker 40 I did not kill baseball. I saved baseball on the market, actually.

Speaker 7 So if they were a hall of fame for killing baseball, you'd be first ballot.

Speaker 42 Pete Blackburn, aka White Hat, dismisses Greg Cody from an overrated column.

Speaker 48 It's the laziest, stupidest

Speaker 20 mailed-in column that this guy probably hasn't watched a second of the oilers this postseason that's coliness behavior though i love this people like this exist though this is way lazier this is he's not making any sort of like coherent or strong point that you can agree with billy gill dismisses pete blackburn who cares what peter blackburn thinks about anything yeah why are you guys here going to defend him over greg cody who you've known for 20 years so peter blackburn can come in your group chat and be like thanks guys for having my back.

Speaker 18 I want to be your friend. I'm Peter Blackburn.

Speaker 48 Get out of here.

Speaker 23 Go to hell, Peter Blackburn.

Speaker 11 Thank you. You know what, Billy? I'm glad you finally said.

Speaker 23 Where's the loyalty in this building?

Speaker 12 It's embarrassing.

Speaker 3 A bunch of stars around here just wanting to get the big names to be your friends.

Speaker 18 Embarrassing.

Speaker 27 Billy, I will tell you what's happening.

Speaker 18 Blackburn, what chaos?

Speaker 32 Excellent. What?

Speaker 23 What chaos is my question?

Speaker 14 Yeah, you're not spitting chick.

Speaker 29 Let's get out of here.

Speaker 24 We don't need two hockey podcasts in the world.

Speaker 3 Okay, Peter.

Speaker 17 The hockey show.

Speaker 37 That's the one I meant.

Speaker 24 Thank you.

Speaker 37 I guess we need two, the hockey show.

Speaker 18 Thank you.

Speaker 42 Billy Gill dismisses Matthew McConaughey.

Speaker 26 You're the naked bongo guy, right?

Speaker 28 You're not even a great actor, if we're going to be perfectly honest with you.

Speaker 26 Like, all of a sudden, now you're going to tell me how to behave as a fan of Agent.

Speaker 18 No, shut it up. That's where you hell.
Shush it up.

Speaker 14 Have you seen Interstellar? You're in Sing.

Speaker 18 Have you seen Dallas Buyers Club? You're in Sing too.

Speaker 42 Scott Van Pelt dismisses the TSA at the Atlanta airport.

Speaker 8 All there was was mayhem and lawlessness and chaos and survival of the fittest. It was killer be killed.
And

Speaker 8 did we break the line?

Speaker 8 I allegedly.

Speaker 8 I popped to all of this on the podcast that we did. We came in, yes, we did.
We came in at the door.

Speaker 8 And where we came in, there were thousands of people, Ohio State, Notre Dame fans, all of whom were incredibly pleasant, by the way.

Speaker 8 I enjoyed meeting all of them in the three hours we stood at the TSA line waiting to get through.

Speaker 8 Go to the clear TSA line, they say. Sure, but that's the sheet code.
I don't know.

Speaker 8 No shit. I know where to go.
There's nowhere to go. So I'm standing there and there's no one's helping.
No red jacket's helping. And we look and we say, this isn't going to work.

Speaker 8 And I'm like, wait, is this even a line? Let's go down there and see.

Speaker 8 And so we wandered down towards a different door where if you came in that door, you just blended into the line because there wasn't a line. So that's what we did.

Speaker 8 And if that's against the law, then I am guilty of charge.

Speaker 42 Chris Cody dismisses Josh Allen's pistachio farm.

Speaker 13 The fourth quarter.

Speaker 20 Your little filler when we're down 21. I don't give a shit about Josh Allen's pistachio farm.
Look at this thing.

Speaker 48 It's endless.

Speaker 11 I thought that that was fascinating.

Speaker 11 I had never given pistachio farms any thought before then.

Speaker 56 Who needs a pistachio farm?

Speaker 3 I just hated all of it.

Speaker 20 Just ridiculous.

Speaker 56 Get that thing out of my face. That's for like a Sunday pregame show on ESPN.

Speaker 43 That is not for fourth quarter when you're up 21 points.

Speaker 54 I'm reading the story here. He's doing it for a second income stream.

Speaker 18 Oh, man. Please.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 19 That's the most obnoxious story I've ever heard about a player in a game.

Speaker 18 Oh, really?

Speaker 19 Oh,

Speaker 43 he has a pistachio.

Speaker 56 If you look now, he has a pistachio farm.

Speaker 54 His family business is farming.

Speaker 22 Get out of here.

Speaker 42 Greg Cody dismisses Gary Furman.

Speaker 11 Am I wrong here when I say that Gary Furman was one of the chief writers on a staff that would have been considered the best in America?

Speaker 42 No. No, you're not right.

Speaker 49 Chris Cody dismisses notaries.

Speaker 20 Are we still getting things notarized? Is that still a thing? Yeah.

Speaker 24 That was always a ridiculous thing.

Speaker 20 My friend's mom's going to stamp this paper and now it's official. Yeah.

Speaker 20 Steven's mom.

Speaker 24 That's the difference here.

Speaker 20 Stupid process, always.

Speaker 39 My whole life, I'm just like, what?

Speaker 20 I have to get this, get it signed by something official, courthouse. No, not a courthouse.

Speaker 18 Really?

Speaker 32 Just Jack's mom.

Speaker 2 Your whole life, huh?

Speaker 18 Somebody who's got ink in and off.

Speaker 11 Now I can do something.

Speaker 14 Now I can go on this field trip.

Speaker 2 Because this has been notarized.

Speaker 14 You know.

Speaker 20 Let me get one of those stamps. I'll be a notary.

Speaker 11 There's a process.

Speaker 1 So do the process.

Speaker 20 You sign up, pay $50, and all of a sudden I'm a notary.

Speaker 11 No, you can't buy a stamp.

Speaker 11 I don't think it's a labyrinth either, but you have to fill out some papers. Look it up.

Speaker 30 Jeremy, I want to become a notary this week.

Speaker 18 Okay.

Speaker 42 Jessica Smatana dismisses Halloween in Miami.

Speaker 52 It's not spooky at all in Florida. It's 100 degrees.

Speaker 57 There's no giant skeletons. There's no jack-o'-lanterns.
There's no little kids in costumes.

Speaker 48 Just caffeito.

Speaker 57 It's just hot all the time, and it's not spooky.

Speaker 57 Oh, you're going to trick-or-treat and get like heat stroke walking around your neighborhood, little kids, because it's Miami, and it's so effing hot here, and it sucks, and it's not spooky, and no one has fake cobwebs on their shrubs because there's no

Speaker 53 street here.

Speaker 14 Everybody does never see

Speaker 57 and it's not spooky at all. Where are the 12-foot skeletons?

Speaker 53 Go to a residential neighborhood, 12-foot skeletons, go to a residential neighborhood. 12-foot skeletons.

Speaker 28 This feels like it's about more than Halloween.

Speaker 2 Billy, unbelievable.

Speaker 11 Holy Billy, I did not realize that you had such a year. Like, it's, I've, I don't, Bob Costas, Europe.
I saw you.

Speaker 17 I didn't dismiss Bob. Bob attacks me, if anything.

Speaker 11 I saw you squirming in your seat as and squirming in your seat, but also with a giant smile on your face as you took out Bob Costas.

Speaker 11 And Bob Costas remembered the quote specifically on how it is you took him out and then gave you his resume.

Speaker 4 You want to know a story about that that I got from a text from an insider.

Speaker 28 So we're friends with Adnan Verk, who works with Bob Costas at MLB Network.

Speaker 28 And I heard that afterwards that day they were in the makeup room at MLB Network headquarters and Bob Costas like turned to Adnan Adnan's like, I heard you on the

Speaker 33 show today.

Speaker 28 He's like, yeah, did you hear what I said about that kid or something like that?

Speaker 33 And Adnan's like,

Speaker 33 Bob, I feel like he kind of proved his point though by going on that rant that you couldn't laugh at yourself he's like no I scorched him like okay

Speaker 11 can you play that for me please Chris because I want Billy I just please put the camera on just Billy because it was funny in the penalty box to watch him sinking into a seat because he knows that this broadcast

Speaker 26 he infuriated this broadcast makes me happier than upsetting legends I got to be honest with you There's no people's time I like to waste more than important people, especially self-important people.

Speaker 4 Not that I'm saying that about Bob.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 51 One of your limited frame of reference peanut gallery guys

Speaker 51 said at one point: you know, I don't even know why he's called Bob. He's the kind of guy that really should have been, even in grade school, would have demanded that he be called Robert.

Speaker 51 This is what happens when you don't know Jack shit, okay?

Speaker 51 Saturday Night Live,

Speaker 44 Letterman, Leno, Carson, Ponin, Baseball, Hootie Tang, the papers. Yes.

Speaker 51 You know, if somebody knew as little, even if they were 20 years old, knew as little about baseball history and then was talking about last night's game with no frame of reference, they'd be laughed out of the room.

Speaker 51 You know, laughter, that kind of thing?

Speaker 28 That kind of thing.

Speaker 22 I love that part.

Speaker 11 You crushed that category, and I did not realize that we might have a challenger to a Stugatz dismissal this year. So do you have a favorite? Does anyone have a favorite from among the dismissals?

Speaker 11 Because the way that he took out Europe was pretty fantastic and came out of nowhere. And it's exactly how

Speaker 11 the person who loves Disney World as much as Billy loves Disney World, it's how they attack old things.

Speaker 26 Dude, I could visit all of Europe in one day at Disney World.

Speaker 43 Just go around Epcot and I could drink around the world.

Speaker 9 Parts of Asia as well.

Speaker 5 Five steps, yeah, all around the world.

Speaker 11 Can you guys get for me again, please, the commercial for David Sampson that we played during one of the breaks here?

Speaker 11 Because David Sampson is actively pressing on trying to bother people and enjoying the bothering of people. So I ask what you guys drink.

Speaker 11 What do you guys think of this intro for First Ballot Hall of Famer Killed Baseball in Miami?

Speaker 40 Hi, I'm David Sampson. How would you like to sit down with me and talk about success in business, which equals money? And I like money.

Speaker 40 And let's face it, there's a lot of guys in baseball who could learn a thing or two about money.

Speaker 40 I'll tell you how I went from a law school guy to a newspaper delivery guy to a Wall Street guy to baseball guy to a media guy. If you're smart, great.

Speaker 40 Maybe you can imitate me. If you're not, take solace.
You're just like nearly everybody else. So, you want to talk business? Think of me as your only fans for rich guys.

Speaker 11 David, you know this. This is why people don't like you.
You're like capitalism in human form. But if people like you and dislike you, then you really have a show.

Speaker 17 And I do have a show.

Speaker 40 Every Monday to Friday, 7 a.m. to 9 a.m.
Eastern. Be there.
It's five days a week. Nothing personal with David Sampson.

Speaker 47 He's so sinister.

Speaker 5 Who goes from law school to being a paper boy?

Speaker 23 It's a weird trajectory.

Speaker 31 Can we be a huge family?

Speaker 26 I see like we honestly were heading in the wrong direction until mommy got married.

Speaker 17 She works hard.

Speaker 22 Who said that?

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