The Big Suey: Best Dismissal

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Welcome to the Big Sui.

Presented by DraftKings.

Why are you listening to this show?

The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebatard podcast.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's prize that if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys.

I've done it.

And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

This episode is presented by DraftKings.

DraftKings, the crown is yours.

Zaszlo is getting a bit too comfortable with his stardom, with everything happening with him.

He's really, it's been quite the late career blossom, not unlike Chris Mad Dog Russo here.

What do you think?

How do you think he is?

Late career blossom like that.

Well, Chris Mad Dog Russo.

Morning Radio aged Zaslow by 477 years.

I'll never get those years back.

That's how life goes.

You know, you can't get years back.

Zaszlo, I saw, aged more than Obama because of what Morning Radio did to him.

The presidency was less hard on Obama than morning radio was on Zaz.

I was the president of Morning Radio.

Yes, he was.

And one of the things that I've noticed around here, though, in him getting comfortable and he just went up against the break there and he had a point, but he was casually, you know, rolling his finger around while wearing Cody's jacket.

And the thing that I noticed is that the smell of Zazzlo singing near my ear earlier in the show still smells like the breakfast that Zazlo enjoyed.

Chris, why are you mouthing, oh my God?

Zaszlo, he likes to eat.

That's what I've learned.

If I've learned anything about Zazlo in these months working with him, my guy gets after it.

Okay, I take part in all of the meals that are given, but I'm not some glutton.

I don't take seconds.

I mean, like, maybe

more than my share,

I had half a croissant egg and cheese sandwich.

The one thing you've learned about Zazzlo, he likes to eat.

What a dick move.

I learned his son's an ingrate.

And he likes the Arab fighters.

And Thai food.

Now I'm going to starve myself.

Also, he may not know what Thai food is.

I mean, Zazz is telling me all the time that he talks about what we have in his ESPN meetings.

It's like the daily, like,

spread today.

I do love bragging to them at EA Hall Great Sports.

They can tell.

Like, they can tell that you've been eating.

You think so?

Oh, they could tell.

Yeah.

How old are you?

Just out of curiosity?

44.

44.

I did some research.

So Mad Dog launched Mad Dog Radio at 49.

So Dan wasn't that far off in terms of late.

Look,

Jaszlo right now is being flown first class.

I don't know if you know what's happening at ESPN, but Mel Kuiper and Orlofsky are on fire.

And I told you a long time ago, Dilpher got mad because Herb Street had a plane.

And they said, see you later, Dilfer.

And Zaszlo's got first class.

It's hard to get first class.

My dad still wanders around making fun of ESPN because he says, you know what they tried to do?

They gave me a contract where they gave me first-class flights and then they didn't send me anywhere.

He's like, what is that?

You can get my father on the phone.

He'll start complaining while still taking Disney's benefits.

Zaszlo getting first class is a big deal.

I don't think radio gives around first class to anybody.

Have you explained to your dad that maybe ESPN is also laughing?

Like, hey, we conceded first-class flights to a guy that we never sent anywhere.

And you think you see one?

Zaszlo is rising in the industry, but he's gotten to ESPN where people are burning.

And he keeps bragging about the sandwiches we have around here.

So that's a real victory for Metal Arc Media.

Good spread.

Zaslow, it's plural.

Good spreads.

Yeah.

And you still smell like the morning breakfast, but there is no reason for you to stick around for the lunch.

You feel like I'm having enough in the breakfast.

Well,

I'm just saying I have enjoyed that you have.

What are we doing to this man?

He's shown up here, worked hard, been a pleasure to be around, and we're throwing him under the bus.

That's what we do here.

No, no, no, no.

Jeremy, you're misunderstanding what's happening here.

I am wildly grateful in general for Zaz, but Zaz is wildly grateful that anyone in radio will feed you.

Yeah, I've never had a job where food was provided.

Are you kidding me?

All right, breakfast and lunch here.

Come on.

But he comes through.

Like, you know, guys, you guys know what's happening to radio, right?

Like, the last bit of that was chewing up Zazzlo.

They were not feeding him.

They were eating him.

I mean, but radio, honestly, they're sending in Tom, Dick, and Jane first class.

Like, they kind of deserve what they have coming.

Why did you get

any Tom, Dick, and James when you're clearly a bigger star than Freddie Fitz?

That's not a real person.

We never got the results on that one.

Freddie Fitz might be bigger.

Do you think Harry's like, how did Jane get in there?

We have not yet talked about what Lionel Messi did last night, and I made a mistake in not

doing so because

he scores in the 88th minute, two goals, and he's coming off of hamstring issues.

And I know he's better than anyone in the league.

I just am legitimately confused by how it is that this person has not aged.

Like you,

I understand that this isn't the best competition for him, but he's already done it against the best competition as recently as like 18 months ago.

And he's still at the top of the sport.

And it doesn't make any sense to me.

He's doing the things that he would do at Barcelona where, hey, we just need to give it to our best player and he just needs to be a demigod here.

So he did it at every level.

Stands a reason he'd do it at MLS, but it felt inevitable.

They were down down late in that game to a bitter rival in Orlando.

He scores at the 77th minute and the 88th minute.

He executes a penalty, which gave Orlando a red card.

And you know, once he buries that equalizer, it's only a matter of time before he takes advantage of a team that's a man down and puts Inner Miami into their second Leagues Cup final.

Billy, are we clear on what the League is?

No, this is the one, the other one that no one is pressed by them much.

Dan, let me correct you.

It's not the other one.

Is this the one they give you the serving dish for?

I think this one's a serving dish.

Yeah, this one's a serving dish, but it's also not the other one.

This is probably, well, U.S.

Open Cup.

They won this one already?

They did.

Yes, no, they won this one.

No, not this one.

The one that we're presently in.

They haven't won this one.

Yeah, previously.

Two years ago.

But this isn't the championship.

Even though it's called the League's Cup.

So it's called the League's Cup because they share this tournament with Liga Amechis in Mexico.

I'm more confused now.

However, the Mexican teams are always garbage and

they do very poorly in this tournament.

So the semifinals were all MLS teams.

Miami played Orlando.

Seattle played LA Galaxy.

Seattle ended up winning their semifinal.

So Messi, who didn't want to play in the All-Star game because of all this bonkers' travel.

This All-Star game for this League's Cup.

Now he has to hop on a plane and fly all the way to Seattle to win another League's Cup.

So we'll see if they do that.

And that's more hardware for Inner Miami and what's been a wildly successful venture.

We had Taylor Twellman on and make some news last week.

He said with a lot of certainty that he expects Messi in that Inner Miami uniform when that stadium opens.

The expectation among Inner Miami is they've got a very good proposal out to Messi.

He actually laughed at the notion that he might not be in the stadium.

Yeah,

there's a ton of confidence that Messi will be here.

No, you got to, you got to, I mean, look, it's not the most ethical thing in the world, but you gotta start talking to the Saudis, right?

Like, if you're him, you go and you flirt with the Saudis.

Like, I don't know.

The stadium looks nice next to that airport.

I'm sure traffic's not gonna be a nightmare, but that's Saudi money.

It looks pretty good.

If there's one thing that we know, it's that Messi's not gonna follow in Ronaldo's footsteps.

That is not the thing he's gonna do.

But the guy turned down a ton of money from the Saudis because it was like, well, I can't play for the Saudis.

And then they just went and played there anyways at an exhibition.

Let me correct you.

Messi did not turn down a lot of money from the Saudis.

He is an ambassador for their tourism industry, and he is collecting a lot of money from the Saudis.

He's just not collecting money from them to play.

It wasn't that long ago, before we were talking about the Saudi money as it related to soccer players, that all over the globe, you would have gotten a split on who's the best player in the world, Ronaldo or Messi.

It wasn't that long ago, I'm going to say, four years ago, five years ago, and what's happened with the late parts of their career when I tell you, look, I saw what Zlatan did coming over here and doing what he was trying to do for this sport.

For Messi to play at the top of this one and the top of the game, while Ronaldo has cheapened himself in all of the ways, to see the separation of what

wasn't that long ago a legitimate argument and now is not any kind of debate.

Messi has separated himself as best in the world over this last stretch of career management.

And I'm genuinely stunned when I I tell you that at this age, in that sport, you're not supposed to have the legs against young people to be the one who can do it in the 88th minute.

Like, that's how aging is supposed to happen.

You're going to get slower and more tired, and late in the game, you're going to fade away against young legs, hungry legs, but he's still at the top of the whole thing.

It seems that he conserves himself throughout the game pretty well.

Like, he does a lot of walking out there.

Yeah, on the ball, he can be quick when he needs to be.

He's very smart about conserving his energy, and that's going to be how he ages with Grace.

He's a dynamite player, and yeah, it kind of feels like I already know this is going to get clipped for social because of the engagement on Messi and Ronaldo.

So what I'm about to say may be perceived as inflammatory.

But I think that debate got put to rest with the World Cup and what he was able to do then.

And look, Ronaldo's scoring goals in Saudi Arabia, the Saudi Arabia.

He's exactly compared to MLS.

Look, Al-Halal had a much further run than Inner Miami had in the club World Cup.

Al-Halal beat Manchester City.

There is good quality sides there.

They spend a lot of money, a lot more money than MLS clubs do on their talent.

So I don't,

like Ronaldo fans and stands may have the ability to say he's doing it against tougher competition.

And I'm not really interested in that debate.

But Messi still seems to be a top 15 player in the world.

And it's not just an MLS.

He's still the talisman for Argentina.

Everything runs through Messi.

And we're going to see in another World Cup where he's going to be damn near 40 or if not at 40 years old, and he's still going to be the best player and most depended on player for Argentina.

Ronaldo is what age, and Messi is what age?

Because I will tell you again, I will not get used to how it is that Serena and Tom Brady and LeBron James and Diana Taurasi age.

It doesn't have scientific precedent before this recent time.

To have Messi age, to separate himself from Ronaldo at the age when these people should fall apart like Ronaldo is a greatest of all time.

Debate just usually doesn't fall apart that way right in front of you while you're watching it so that you don't even have to do the history 30 years from now.

I watched when it is that Messi became the best player in the world.

Ronaldo is 40 years old.

Messi is presently 38.

However, Ronaldo will say himself that he is biologically 27.

The body type on Messi must help him age at least a little bit better than Ronaldo would age.

As a player that, especially in Europe,

how do you stop Messi?

You have to get physical with him.

He is the best player that opposing defenders will ever see.

There was a lot of complaining last night, right, from Orlando City.

So he's been subject over the course of his over 20-year career to

horrendous tackles, people trying to get a pound of flesh from him, quite literally, because he's small, because he's smaller in stature.

People try to put their shoulder in him.

So that body has taken a beating.

And what we've seen in the latter stage of his career here, that soft tissue injury reputation that he's starting to develop, but he just came back to the team fresh from injury and won them the game almost single-handedly last night.

He's an incredible player and probably the greatest athlete of our lifetimes.

And we're blessed to be living in this generation, even though we're probably living in the echo of a universe that already died thousands of years ago.

He's not the best athlete of this generation.

LeBron is.

Now that's just a different now.

Bailey's going to, I'll go with the cutter.

Serena Williams, I'm an ally.

Conor McDavid is

Connor McDavid.

Overrated.

Joey Chestnut, Venus Williams.

Zazikree Serena Williams.

C.

Martin also.

One of the Williams.

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Hey, Tony.

Hey, Mike.

Hey, man.

The summer's almost ending, man.

I don't like that.

There's no way.

There's no way.

I am excited about cooler temperatures, but down here in South Florida, that just means slightly less boiling.

Hot.

It's been a pretty incredible summer.

We've had a parade down here.

We've grown our family down here at Metal Arc Media.

A lot of exciting things, a lot of memorable benchmarks.

And along the way, at almost every step, I've been tailed by that beautiful white can of Miller Light.

Oh, that beautiful white can.

Or the brown bottle.

You can do it on draft.

Draft is crisp.

There's been so many great special times.

And each time, I've decided to make those special times a Miller time.

Whether it's a long weekend like one we got coming up or a full-on vacation, it is a perfect time to get the crew back together.

This here marks 50 years of Miller time.

50 years of great taste, great friends, and unforgettable memories.

Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Go to MillerLite.com/slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

Cheers to 50 years of Miller Time.

Celebrate responsibly.

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Don Lebatard.

That was a long story.

Yeah, it's the only kind he tells.

It's a short one for me.

I tried to speed it up for you guys.

You forgot about the Leagues Cup.

Stugats.

Yeah.

La Carreta is a place where the best of the celebrations has to be the 97 Marlin celebration because it was Leviathan.

Well, when Fidel died the first time.

This is the Dan Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Billy, thermometers.

Yeah.

We're locked up.

What do you want me to do?

I can't do anything about it.

I ended up getting when I talked to the guy.

I said, hey, can you give me?

You know how embarrassing it is to walk up to someone like, hey, I need your key to like unlock something.

Like, whoa.

I got like the people.

They're doing that with your voice.

Whoa, look at look at this guy.

What's he up to?

What's he going to buy here?

A bunch of pseudo-fed or something?

It's like, no, I just need a thermometer.

Why did they always, I think they still do this actually.

They keep the razors behind the locked glass.

I mean, that one I understand more than thermometers.

Why?

I need to shame myself.

So, what is the strangest strangest or most curious thing that you've had to like the cold medicine is something I don't know whether we all learn this at the same time.

I don't know when this became a thing, the idea of putting a case around certain things because people will steal it to use as drugs, to use to

the things that are being hidden are not necessarily just the expensive things, right?

They're things like razors that you could do damage with.

And so what are the like, why are the thermometers in there?

I don't know, because it was a flexible digital thermometer.

It wasn't even like it had, like, the whatever the silver stuff is that the old ones used to have.

Mercury.

It has to be to avoid theft.

I used to do that mercury thermometer.

My mom would put it right under my tongue.

Uh-huh.

You ever put it up to the little lamp?

Well, like I'm Ferris Bueller?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, you weren't a delinquent.

Huh.

If it broke, because they were glass, if it broke, did you like, oh, what do I do?

You have to run out of the house.

Did you ever touch the mercury?

No.

Just a little curious touching, like, oh, wow, this thing sticks together.

Oh, that's like poison, dude.

Really?

Yeah.

Maybe for people like you.

Put on the poll at Lebatard show, is the mercury inside of a thermometer poison?

And also, Jeremy, look up for me when it is that drugstores started doing the thing of putting things in a case so that Billy has to suffer the embarrassment of he wants a thermometer.

Now he's got a case even.

It was like a bike chain that they had on it or something.

It was like on a little bit.

Like a pen at the bank?

It was like...

It was like a little, it was hanging from a little hook where you can't slide it off.

And then they had like this

lock on it.

The guy had to come in.

I think it was just a magnet.

I don't want to tell people how to get around the locks there, but I think he just had a magnet.

I think if you take a magnet, you can unlock all those locks and just get the thermometers all you want.

I was watching, it didn't wasn't like a code, I didn't steal his code.

If you're gonna unlock something with a magnet, there was no lock, I think it was just a magnet.

Take a magnet if you need to go.

It doesn't work underwater,

magnets don't work underwater.

That's what I heard.

Uh, Chris Cody said something today

that was both uh surprising and not surprising and got me to thinking.

Billy just said earlier

he doesn't have an inner circle.

It's his wife and his daughter and that's it.

No, no, I said people I've impregnated and the people that have come out of the people I've impregnated.

That is right.

I didn't specify.

That's your crew.

Okay.

Yeah.

You didn't specify.

So it might be more than just your wife and daughter.

I just, you know, I didn't specify.

All right, so the, all right, so the inner circle.

I forget it's my business, you know.

Okay, you might have a secret family.

Can someone just show up and say, you impregnated me, so I'm part of your crew now?

They could be part of the inner circle.

I I have a specific look.

I think I could figure out pretty quickly if I did impregnate them or not.

I think it is very hard to get into Billy's inner circle, but I think it is easier, much easier to get in.

I don't want to get in.

Like, I'm just, I'm just, I don't mean to interrupt you, but you, like, we're making this a whole to-do.

You don't want to be in my inner circle.

I don't want to be in my inner circle.

I've been texting you the way everyone texts you, and Fuentes is the one who gets texts back, and that's how I arrive at the arrival,

at the place where I believe that your inner circle is very tight.

Fuentes has bragged to everyone.

He got 11 texts from you or there was there was 11.

No, no, texts in between us.

They could have been 10 from him in one response.

He was very vague about it intentionally.

Well, but he did tell the room that he had an access to you that the rest of us do not have.

But Chris does this differently.

Chris, I believe, his inner circle is easier to get into.

However, the deepest points in his inner circle might not be as deep because Chris said, I don't have a best friend.

Yeah.

It was kind of like in that inner circle talk, I was just kind of thinking, like, who's my inner circle?

And I do have an inner circle and I have friends.

I'd say I have seven to ten friends that I'd call really close.

That's a lot of friends at this age.

But I don't have anyone, that there's not one that I'm like, that's my best friend.

Yeah.

And I want a best friend.

Put it on the poll at Lebetard show.

Do you have a best friend?

Because I think it's unusual not to have

a best friend

while having.

I'm not saying my wife.

We would just let stop that right there.

Your spouse is not your best friend.

What a loser would say that.

My wife's my best friend.

Here we go.

Who's your best friend?

Oh, boy.

Dan.

Dan, you know what he's going to say.

It was my brother.

Oh.

Not your wife.

Somehow more awkward.

Not what I thought he was going to say.

That's not the question that he asked.

He asked, who's your best friend right now?

Yeah.

That was gratuitous.

Living.

In fact, penalty box.

Out of here.

Not fair to do that.

I don't feel good about this.

That's not fair to do that.

What?

I mean, he asked him a question, who's your best friend?

Not who it was.

I mean, look, come on.

What's the penalty?

Making us feel like shit.

All right, hold on a second.

Let me see if I have that first.

I think we have that one.

Good.

More of Ethan's voice.

Four of the 11 texts between me and Frenta's was: What time is Mystery Crate starting?

Hey, come down.

It's time to start.

And me saying, Okay.

That's what you're jealous of.

Minor penalty, two minutes.

Peste, tremendous.

Come a mierda.

Don Lebatard.

I may take it one step further.

Wait a minute.

We haven't.

Wait a minute.

You're getting sexier by the moment.

Slow down.

We haven't even gotten.

Stugats.

Jason Sanders, you're unnoticed.

Oh, my God.

What in spite of him?

Oh, wow.

I love you, Duke.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Let's get the best dismissal.

The 2025 SUI Awards are presented by Miller Light.

Cast your vote at levatardaf.com.

Winners will be announced this upcoming Tuesday, September 2nd.

This is Best Dismissal.

And now the SUI nominees for Best Dismissal.

Billy Gill and Greg Cody dismiss the Savannah Bananas.

It's a clown show.

I need banana balling.

They're running around wearing capes, actual capes.

Look at that dimension.

That left field wall is 120 feet away.

It's just a modern-day Harlem Globetrotters, which I...

What's wrong with that?

I thought we had all outgrown that.

You know, throwing a bucket of water on somebody, but, oh, there's confetti in there.

It's not water.

Ho ho!

Tom Cruise dismisses Father's Day.

Also, I got to ask, Father's Day is just around the corner.

What would an ideal Father's Day look like for you?

Hey.

You know, just having fun, man.

Making movies, big adventure, having a great time.

Greg Cody dismisses NFL Red Zone.

I enjoy watching one game at a time.

Okay, I'm anti-red zone.

An isolated game.

Yeah, I mean, my wife's watching Red Zone.

It's like a flurry of

overload of information, going from one game to the next, and then back to here and back to there.

Red Zone's showing plays that aren't even in the red zone.

It's a misnamed network.

I want a network that shows me the Shank 20.

Punt.

Uh-huh.

Shank punts.

Yes.

Careful.

All punts.

The all-punt.

Why not?

LA, the APM.

Wanstead would be addicted to it.

He would be.

Nick Wright dismisses Tony's football analysis.

We look at the Chiefs side, and I feel bad saying this because Nick Wright is over our shoulder.

We're looking at a team that if things go the opposite way, this is a laughingstock of a team that doesn't make the playoffs.

Okay, yeah.

That's why Tony's on that side of the room.

No, no, no.

To not really pepper in those sports.

Come on, Dick.

I mean, the thing is, like, I like Tony, but I'm just telling you,

yes,

I agree that if you turned their wins into losses, their record would have been worse.

That's all I'm saying.

Billy Gill dismisses Europe.

Europe sucks.

I don't know if you're aware of this.

Like, we keep saying, like, well, in Europe, this would happen.

Europe is terrible, which is why all of us left Europe.

That's why everybody's here in America, because everyone decided, you know what?

Europe is terrible.

Like the English decided, the Spaniards decided, the Italians decided.

Every single person came together at one point in time and said, you know what?

We may not disagree on a lot of things, but we can all agree.

Europe sucks.

Let's just jump on this boat and see where it takes us because we can't be here anymore.

Because Europe, again, terrible.

No air conditioning.

Everything is old.

Horrible.

All they do is try to steal American culture and then tell you all of their old crap is so great.

Europe, terrible.

And it takes forever to get there forever to get there if i'm boarding a plane for eight hours europe better not be where i'm landing actor nick tutoro dismisses bob costas i can't take costas no more oh no

let me watch the game i said i just i was yelling at the tv let me watch the game bob please shut up and he wouldn't shut up he would not shut up when i'm watching the game he he was like interrupting me and i was just like can you let it breathe please we know you know a lot about baseball Stop being, you know, smarter than the game.

You're not.

Bob Costas dismisses Billy Gill.

One of your limited frame of reference peanut gallery guys

said at one point, you know, I don't even know why he's called Bob.

He's the kind of guy that really should have been, even in grade school, would have demanded that he be called Robert.

This is what happens when you don't know Jack shit.

Okay.

Saturday Night Live,

Letterman, Leno, Carson, Conin, Baseball, Pootie Tang, the papers.

You know, if somebody knew as little, even if they were 20 years old, knew as little about baseball history and then was talking about last night's game with no frame of reference, they'd be laughed out of the room.

You know, laughter, that kind of thing.

Greg Cody dismisses the Oscars.

The Oscars need to, it's funny they have a category for editing because they don't edit themselves.

Talk about a metaphor for the night, the brutalist.

It's brutal watching anything for three and a half hours, whether it's a film or an award show.

Now, Anora sounds like it's a terrible name for a film, Anora.

But I didn't, is it a woman's name?

What is Anora?

It sounds like a car.

I drive a Toyota Anora.

You know, the shipping container dismisses Dan for asking Gary Owen a terrible question.

Do you have a pop culture topic that everyone's seeking your opinion on these days?

Any

question that you're getting about what's happening in the news that is about one subject matter more than another?

I mean, everybody's asking opinions about Diddy.

That's the big one right now.

Dan, you don't get to make that face.

He warned me.

Dan's question was like, hey, what's the pop culture thing everybody's asking you?

All right.

Talk about that.

Everyone's mind went to Diddy, right?

When Dan brought up the question.

We're like, okay, you're asking him about Diddy.

And your opinion on that?

Well, just ask him about Diddy.

There were other choices he could be making.

And Dr.

Lamar's dude.

Where did you pull that one from?

Man, I knew about

Gary.

Look, see now, old man.

Over 20 years, I didn't think you could get worse at tossing things up to comedians, but yet here we are.

Did he follow up or

David Sampson dismisses vow renewals?

You don't get a gift.

I'm not going to attend.

I want no part of a vow renewal of any kind.

I think it's absolute horse hockey, personally.

People, all right, you're in love.

You're still married.

What are you showing off?

Because the rest of us are divorced.

Oh, for my 25th anniversary, I'm going to renew my vows in Vegas.

Give me a break.

I'm totally out on vow renewals.

I think it's ridiculous.

Jonathan Zaszlo dismisses Chris Whittingham's Panthers takes.

We did a month after the Panthers got eliminated from the playoffs.

On Spencer Knight, it is better than Sergei Bogrovsky did.

And somehow I have the wrong take on the Panthers.

Somehow you have the wrong take.

The Stanley Cup champions.

Somehow he got it right.

Murder of Fone over there.

Okay, but I can admit that I was dead wrong.

I was dead wrong.

And I'm thrilled that I was dead wrong.

You're sitting there saying how the Panthers got it wrong, and they're the champions.

Greg Cody dismisses Chris Cody.

Christopher, what are you reading?

I'm not used to seeing you read a book.

What do you read?

Other than menus?

Wow.

I did quite the dick.

Did you just set yourself up?

Wow.

He did.

He did.

He set yourself up.

He did.

He set himself up for a joke at the expense of his son.

He threw himself in Alley over.

He dunked on his son with a fan show.

Thank you.

Billy Gill dismisses Wayne Heisinger.

Yeah, screw that guy.

I love booing dead people.

A bell.

What?

Such a weird thing.

You love booing dead people.

Oh, yeah.

I get the last laugh.

You think you leave this earth and I'm going to forget about what you did?

I will not, Wayne Heisinger.

Katie Nolan dismisses Tom Brady's teeth.

Those teeth he has might be the wrong size for his mouth.

I do wish he would try to.

And I googled it.

You can have them.

You can go back to the person person who did them and be like, Can you shave these down a little?

And I think that that'd be in his best interest.

I hear his teeth when he talks.

Jonathan Zaslow dismisses emotional support animals.

I don't want to hear about the dog being an emotional support animal, though.

Like, that's garbage.

Like, everybody has a dog to emotionally support you.

You have a dog because having the dog makes you feel good.

All right.

That's everyone.

So the fact that you could bring your dog anywhere because it's an emotional support animal, that's bullshit.

Greg Cody dismisses people complaining about egg prices.

I wander by the egg aisle.

I see the eggs are, I think, $6.49 or $5.99 or something.

Sizable hike, warranted.

Okay, respect the chicken.

They do a lot of work.

You know, I mean, eggs, you can cook them four or five different ways.

They're all great.

Eggs have been underpriced for years.

Let's quit complaining about the price of eggs.

Billy Gill dismisses John Mulaney.

Learn your place, Mulaney.

You're not a sex symbol.

Like enough.

Wow.

Are you sure he's not a sex symbol?

Yeah, he's not supposed to be.

Just just stay in your lane.

He's forcing it.

Go write your jokes.

Be your funny guy.

Have that be your appeal.

This sex symbol trying to pull.

Get out of here, Mulaney, please.

He is married to Olivia Mullen.

Yeah, well, he was married to someone else before.

Mike Ryan dismisses David Sampson's Marlins Hall of Fame credentials.

Do I think that when you look at important figures in the history of the franchise, am I in that conversation?

I don't know how to argue against that.

Let's

allow me.

You killed baseball in this market.

You don't get to be in a hall of fame for killing baseball.

I did not kill baseball.

I saved baseball on the market, actually.

So if they were a hall of fame for killing baseball, you'd be first palette.

Pete Blackburn, aka White Hat, dismisses Greg Cody from an overrated column.

It's the laziest, stupidest f ⁇ ing mailed-in column that this guy probably hasn't watched a second of the Oilers this postseason.

That's columnist behavior, though.

I f ⁇ ing that people like this exist though.

This is way lazier.

He's not making any sort of like coherent or strong point that you can agree with.

Billy Gill dismisses Pete Blackburn.

Who cares what Peter Blackburn thinks about anything?

Yeah.

Why are you guys here going to defend him over Greg Cody, who you've known for 20 years?

So Peter Blackburn can come in your group chat and be like, thanks guys for having my back.

I want to be your friend.

I'm Peter Blackburn.

Get out of here.

Go to hell, Peter Blackburn.

Thank you.

You know what, Billy?

I'm glad you finally said.

Where's the loyalty in this building?

It's embarrassing.

A bunch of stars around here just wanting to get the big names to be your friends.

Embarrassing.

Billy, this, I will tell you what's happening.

Blackburn, what chaos?

Excellent.

What?

What chaos is my question?

Yeah, spitting chick.

Let's get out of here.

We don't need two hockey podcasts in the world, okay, Peter.

The hockey show.

That's the one I meant.

Thank you.

I guess we need two, the hockey show.

Thank you.

Billy Gill dismisses Matthew McConaughey.

You're the naked bongo guy, right?

You're not even a great actor, if we're going to be perfectly honest with you.

Like, all of a sudden, now you're going to tell me how to behave as a fan of niggas.

No, shut it up.

That's where you know.

Shush it up.

Have you seen Interstellar?

You're in Sing.

Have you seen Dallas Buyers Club?

You're in Sing too.

Scott Van Pelt dismisses the TSA at the Atlanta airport.

All there was was mayhem and lawlessness and chaos for the survival of the fittest.

It was killer be killed.

And did we break the line?

I allegedly.

I popped to all of this on the podcast that we did.

We came in.

Yes, we did.

We came in at the door.

And where we came in, there were thousands of people, Ohio State, Notre Dame fans, all of whom were incredibly pleasant, by the way.

I enjoyed meeting all of them in the three hours we stood at the TSA line waiting to get through.

Go to the clear TSA line, they say.

Sure, but that's the sheet code I don't know.

No shit.

I know where to go.

There's nowhere to go.

So I'm standing there, and there's no one's helping.

No red jackets helping.

And we look and we say, this isn't going to work.

And I'm like, wait, is this even a line?

Let's go down there and see.

And so we wandered down towards a different door where if you came in that door, you just blended into the line because there wasn't a line.

So that's what we did.

And if that's against the law, then I am guilty as charged.

Chris Cody dismisses Josh Allen's pistachio farm.

The fourth quarter.

Your little filler when we're down 21.

I don't give a shit about Josh Allen's pistachio farm.

Look at this thing.

It's endless.

I thought that that was fascinating.

I had never given pistachio farms any thought before then.

Who needs a pistachio farm?

I just hated all of it.

Just ridiculous.

Get that thing out of my face.

That's for like a Sunday pregame show on ESPN.

That is not for fourth quarter when you're up 21 points.

I'm reading a story here.

He's doing it for a second income stream.

Oh, man.

Please.

Yeah.

That's the most obnoxious story I've ever heard about a player in a game.

Oh,

he has a pistachio.

If you look now, he has a pistachio farm.

His family business is farming.

Get out of here.

Greg Cody dismisses Gary Furman.

Am I wrong here when I say that Gary Fuhrman was one of the chief writers on a staff that would have been considered the best in America?

No.

No, you're not right.

Chris Cody dismisses notaries.

Are we still getting things notarized?

Is that still a thing?

Yeah.

That was always a ridiculous thing.

My friend's mom's going to stamp this paper, and now it's official.

Yeah.

Steven's mom, that's the difference here.

Stupid process, always.

My whole life, I'm just like, what?

I have to get this, get it signed by something official, courthouse.

No, not a courthouse.

Really?

Just Jack's mom.

Your whole life, huh?

Somebody who's got ink in and on.

Now I can do something.

Now I can go on this field trip.

Because this has been notarized.

You know.

Let me get one of those stamps.

I'll be a notary.

There's a process.

So through the process, you sign up, pay $50, and all of a sudden I'm a notary.

No, you can't buy a stamp.

I don't think it's a labyrinth either, but you have to fill out some papers.

Look it up.

Jeremy, I want to become a notary this week.

Okay.

Jessica Smatana dismisses Halloween in Miami.

It's not spooky at all in Florida.

It's 100 degrees.

There's no giant skeletons.

There's no jack-o'-lanterns.

There's no little kids in costumes.

Just caffeito.

It's just hot all the time, and it's not spooky.

Oh, you're going to trick-or-treat and get like heat stroke walking around your neighborhood, little kids, because it's Miami, and it's so effing hot here, and it sucks, and it's not spooky, and no one has fake cobwebs cobwebs on their shrubs because there's no everybody sucks here everybody does never see

and it's not spooky at all where are the 12-foot skeletons go to a residential neighborhood skeletons go to a residential neighborhood skeleton you don't live residential entire life this feels like it's about more than halloween

billy unbelievable holy billy i did not realize that you had such a year Like, it's, I don't, Bob Costas, Europe.

I saw you.

I didn't dismiss Bob.

Bob attacked me, if anything.

I saw you squirming in your seat as, and squirming in your seat, but also with a giant smile on your face as you took out Bob Costas.

And Bob Costas remembered the quote specifically on how it is you took him out and then gave you his resume.

I you want to know a story about that that I got from a text from an insider.

So we're friends with Adnan Verke who works with Bob Casas at MLB Network and I heard that afterwards that day they were in the makeup room at MLB Network headquarters and Bob Costas like turned to Adnan Adnan's like I heard you on the on the show today kind of he's like yeah did you hear what I said about that kid or something like that and Adnan's like

Bob, I feel like he kind of proved his point though by going on that rant that you couldn't laugh at yourself.

He's like, no, I scorched him.

Like, okay.

Can you play that for me, please, Chris?

Because I want Billy.

I just please put the camera on just Billy because it was funny in the penalty box to watch him sinking into a seat because he knows that this broadcast, this broad, he infuriated this broadcast.

That makes me happier than upsetting legends.

I got to be honest with you.

There's no people's time I like to waste more than important people, especially self-important people.

Not that I'm saying that about Bob.

No.

One of your limited frame of reference peanut gallery guys

said at one point, you know, I don't even know why he's called Bob.

He's the kind of guy that really should have been, even in grade school, would have demanded that he be called Robert.

This is what happens when you don't know Jack shit, okay?

Saturday Night Live,

Letterman, Leno, Carson, Ponin, basketball, Hootie Tang, the papers.

You know, if somebody knew as little, even if they were 20 years old, knew as little about baseball history and then was talking about last night's game with no frame of reference, they'd be laughed out of the room.

You know, laughter, that kind of thing?

That kind of thing.

I love that part.

You crushed that category, and I did not realize that we might have a challenger to a Stugatz dismissal this year.

So do you have a favorite?

Does anyone have a favorite from among the dismissals?

Because the way that he took out Europe was pretty fantastic and came out of nowhere.

And it's exactly how

the person who loves Disney World as much as Billy loves Disney World, it's how they attack old things.

Dude, I could visit all of Europe in one day at Disney World.

Just go around Epcot and I could drink around the world.

Ports of Asia as well.

Five steps, yeah, all around the world.

Can you guys get for me again, please, the commercial for David Sampson that we played during one of the breaks here?

Because David Sampson is actively pressing on trying to bother people and enjoying the bothering of people.

So I ask what you guys think.

What do you guys think of this intro for First Ballot Hall of Famer Killed Baseball in Miami?

Hi, I'm David Sampson.

How would you like to sit down with me and talk about success in business, which equals money?

And I like money.

And let's face it, there's a lot of guys in baseball who could learn a thing or two about money.

I'll tell you how I went from a law school guy to a newspaper delivery guy to a Wall Street guy to baseball guy to a media guy.

If you're smart, great.

Maybe you can imitate me.

If you're not, take solace.

You're just like nearly everybody else.

So, you want to talk business?

Think of me as your only fans for rich guys.

David, you know this.

This is why people don't like you.

You're like capitalism in human form.

But if people like you and dislike you, then you really have a show.

And I do have a show.

Every Monday to Friday, 7 a.m.

to 9 a.m.

Eastern.

Be there.

It's five days a week.

Nothing personal with David Sampson.

He's so sinister.

Who goes from law school to being a paper boy?

It's a weird trajectory.

Can we be a paper?

I see that we honestly were heading the wrong direction until mommy got married.

He works hard.

Who said that?

Hey, Tony.

Hey, Mike.

Hey, man.

Summer's almost ending, man.

I don't like that.

There's no way.

There's no way.

I am excited about cooler temperatures, but down here in South Florida, that just means slightly less boiling.

Hot.

It's been a pretty incredible summer.

We've had a parade down here.

We've grown our family down here at Metal Arc Media.

A lot of exciting things, a lot of memorable benchmarks.

And along the way, at almost every step, I've been tailed by that beautiful white can of Miller Light.

Oh, that beautiful white can.

Or the brown bottle.

You can do it on draft.

Draft is crisp.

There's been so many great special times.

And each time, I've decided to make those special times a Miller time.

Whether it's a long weekend like one we got coming up or a full-on vacation, it is a perfect time to get the crew back together.

This here marks 50 years of Miller time.

50 years of great taste, great friends, and unforgettable memories.

Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Go to millerlight.com/slash Dan to find find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

Cheers to 50 years of Miller time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.