Hour 1: Best Limited Fake (feat. Jessica Smetana)

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This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stoogats Podcast.

I don't know how much Jessica, how often she hears I've missed your voice, but hearing her at the end of Dismissal sneak in there with some genuine rage about Halloween not being spooky enough brought me great joy and brought brought a challenger to what appears to be Billy's category now of dismissal because of how Billy owned the dismissal.

Jessica, did you hear any of that?

I was listening to it, and my question is, was I okay?

You were angry.

You were angry at the time.

It was Miami traffic.

It was understandable because it wasn't also spooky holiday.

Well, the answer is no, you lived in Miami.

It doesn't seem like I was doing well last fall.

Yeah, and the Billy, though, dismissal category,

did you remember that kind of hostility?

Because Billy doesn't seem, as it regards Europe, like he's doing very well.

Jess, was that after the Northern Illinois game?

That might have been Northern Illinois week.

Yeah, but I don't think that would have had anything to do with it.

I think it was more so because Miami's not spooky.

Actually, yeah, now that I think about it, oh, Willow just kicked my computer.

Did you see that?

That was so cute.

Oh, my God.

She's just stretching out on the bed.

No, I just think it's because Miami wasn't spooky and it sucked.

And I guess after four years, I just, you know, really all hit me.

Is the Miami football team spooky this weekend to you as a Notre Dame fan?

Spooky?

No.

I think they're really good, though.

I think they have a real shot at winning their opening game.

So I would say, as I did on the Kane's Insight Hurricade show yesterday, why didn't you just call it like Hurricane?

Like, why did you make it Hurricade?

I think it's going to be a good game.

Okay.

Yeah, I will not do that, actually.

I'm good.

I did love Billy's dismissal of Europe.

That was top tier.

I think that's what I would vote for, other than myself, of course.

Do you hate Europe as well?

Wow.

Well, my great-grandparents certainly did.

I'm just confused why everyone's bringing up dead relatives today, honestly.

It was a little bit disarming.

I used to have a best friend.

He was John Partridge.

He didn't die.

He just moved away.

Oh, yeah.

I had a best friend die too, Dan.

Chris doesn't have have a best friend.

I don't even have a damn.

That's a benefit of not having a best friend.

Would you rather have a best friend who died or never had a best friend at all?

My mom was a drug addict.

Great question, Shakespeare.

My best friend is like my mom because I don't really have a mom.

Jessica, do you have a game we can play?

Can we lighten it up around here a little bit?

Do you have anything that can lighten up the proceedings a touch?

Yes, I do.

Actually,

I'm bringing back an old classic, Dan.

It's called Brit or Knit.

Did this rise to the level of classic?

It's a classic.

I don't feel like

people are longing for this.

I don't feel like everyone has been texting me and saying, please bring back Brit or Knit.

And I thought of the perfect reason for it.

And we're going to talk more soccer because man, you lost to a League Two team in the League Cup.

And the name of the team they lost to is very silly.

So I said, let's bring back Brit or Knit.

I'm going to give you a few names.

Dan, you're going to tell me Brit.

Yes, that is an English soccer team or Knit.

That is not an English soccer team.

Okay, look, Mike likes this game.

Dan's gonna be so bad at this.

I figured he would.

Okay, let's start with this one.

Dan, Britt or Nit?

Grimsby Town.

No, that's not.

Are you well, are you?

Yeah, I'm gonna say that that's too creative to not be a team.

So I'm gonna say yes.

Brit.

That is correct.

Grimsby Town is the team that beat Man United yesterday.

All right, so but I'm guessing, though, I'm obviously not gonna know any of these.

Okay, let's go on to the next one: Shepherd's Bush.

No, that's not a team.

Knit.

You're right.

That is a tube stop.

You play the game right, please.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Well, I'm playing the game.

All right.

So, Brit or Knit, the rules are pretty good.

It's simple.

All right.

Classic.

All right, my bad.

You're right.

Actually, you lose on that one because you didn't say knit.

Okay, we'll move on to number three.

Accrington Stanley, Brit or Knit?

Knit.

That sounds more like a law firm.

It is, in fact, an English soccer team.

You are incorrect.

That is Brit.

Cock Foster's Football Club, Dan.

Britt or Knit?

She said Foster's.

I am going to say Brit.

That is incorrect.

Cock Foster is one of the most famous British tube stops because it's Cock Foster's.

Right.

People laugh at it.

The Foster.

It's the Foster, right.

Okay, we can move on from Brit or Knit, Dan.

It doesn't seem like you're doing very well at it.

We don't need to move on.

Move on.

Mike isn't.

Mike's enjoying me just sinking into not knowing why it is that we're playing this game.

Foster's.

It's just funny, funny, silly names.

Okay, I'll give you one more.

Britt or Knit, Tooting Broadway.

Look at the smile on Chris Cody's face.

I'm just like, is he going to say Brit or Knit?

He's not.

He's just going say no.

All right, Brit.

False.

Incorrect.

Also, a tube stop.

So it is Brit, but not in the spirit of the game.

Okay.

You are really bad at that, Danny.

Yeah, you knew I would be.

And that's the

Jeremy, what's wrong?

Are you okay?

This is amazing.

How are you so incapable of saying the right word?

There's two words.

Yeah, it's hard to do.

Well produced, Chris.

You found that well done.

So a classic is what this game has been.

When did we play this game before?

I believe it was during the coronation of the King of England that we played Brit or Knit with the members of the coronation party that were going to attend the coronation.

It's a classic.

Did we ever play?

Like the Duke of Bricklebrackle, I believe, was one of them.

That was a knit.

That's not a real place.

Get out of here.

Mel Kuyper Jr., turn that music off.

Mel Kuyper Jr., let's put this picture up again.

Mel Kuyper Jr.

has said this morning on GetUp, while looking very much like the devil, that the Ohio State-Texas game, quote, 48 years I've been covering college football, never remember a game as anticipated as this one.

Can we just add in real quick to how the AP really screwed this thing up?

I mean,

you gotta go number one versus number two.

Penn State sneaks in at number two, so it's one versus three.

Jess, I mean, come on.

The AP,

get your act together.

Can I just say that hyperbole is an epidemic right now?

There is just, I am excited to watch this game.

I am excited to see Arch Manning.

Do not get me wrong, this is an important game.

Texas preseason number one as an underdog on the road to start the season.

It's very exciting.

I think both teams will be very good this year.

However, we can't just say this is the most highly anticipated football game.

Blah, blah, blah.

Like, we say that about everything, and we just need to end the hyperbole.

You don't need to try to sell people on Ohio State, Texas.

People will watch it.

We know it's a big game.

I just think that this is the myopia of Kuiper.

He gets to see a Manning and so he gets to make an analysis against a champion and start seeing how valuable.

He gets to start the examination of the thing that he loves to do most because we don't actually know what Arch Manning is and he's dying to find out.

That's why he's doing that because in that respect, we can agree, right?

This has never happened before.

Where a guy who's been waiting for two years that we've been talking about, talking about, talking about,

who descends from royalty is going against the defending championship.

100%.

In terms of like being able to see an attraction, this is as hyped a debut as we could possibly see, even though he played some last year.

But to Jess's point, there were like three Alabama LSU games that happened fairly recently that were all much bigger and called games of the century.

Right.

I think the Manning name, we are all obviously very excited to see.

But I think if you want to even talk about another game on the same day where you're seeing a potential future first-round talent playing against another potential for future first-round talent, just at quarterback, you have LSU and Clemson.

So, like, there's just a lot of really good games this weekend.

And I don't, I think it is a big game.

I'm not saying Mel Kuyper is wrong, but I think the Manning name is doing a lot there.

But there's just, there's a lot of great games, and there always are a lot of great games.

That's why it's college, like, college football is great because there's such a high volume of games happening.

I mean, we're going to see Bryce Underwood start this weekend.

We're going to see Bill Belichick coach his first college game this weekend.

Like, I'm honestly, I don't want to spoil my top five list that I have.

I am a little bit more excited for that than I think even the Notre Dame game.

Like, wow.

Bill Belichick in his cutoff shirt will just tickle me.

Okay.

I'm excited to get to that top five because we were having a discussion.

I might surprise you.

As big a homer as I am for the University of Miami, I would concede that I think Clemson is an L and LSU is a bigger game.

They got the Fowler-Herbie assignment because of the two quarterbacks, because of the fact that they've recently won national titles where Miami is still trying to scrap their way into that conversation.

Yeah, that's going to be an exciting one and also one where the loser is going to feel really bad because Clemson last season, you know, they snuck their way into the playoff via the ACC route, even though they lost to two SEC teams and couldn't couldn't beat South Carolina or Georgia last year.

So they're going to feel bad if they can't beat LSU, especially because LSU's defense has been an issue and Clemson feels really good about Kay Klubnik starting another season and having improved a lot the last few seasons.

But LSU hasn't won a season opener with Brian Kelly.

So I don't know if he's going to pound on the table again if they lose.

I don't know how he's going to top that if they lose.

But I think both teams would feel bad if they lost.

And also, neither would be that impacted because it's a non-conference game.

But I think, like, yeah,

feelings would be hurt.

Things would be bad.

It doesn't seem like that, though, the way that you described it is

there are no real consequences.

There are.

There are, especially because, like I said, I think for Brian Kelly, like Dabbo has a lot of job security.

It doesn't matter.

But Brian Kelly, I think, you know, he won the SEC West a couple of years ago and he has had.

tons of talent on his offenses, but he needs to put it together on the other side of the ball.

And so I think that,

yeah, I think LSU fans would certainly be upset if they lost to Clemson on Saturday.

We'll get to your top five in a second.

We'll get to the week one games in a second, but I want to go back to Hawaii and Stanford.

And

again, I will say, I assume that Andrew Luck will be good at that job, but they lost to Hawaii in the first game and lost with a kicker who learned how to kick on YouTube.

Anything else from that game that you found interesting?

Anything else from the games being played other than Avery Johnson's father fighting his other son that you found interesting?

My gimmick.

I have two things I want to talk about from last weekend.

First thing,

we found out this week, Kansas State and Iowa State, the Farmageddon game.

Everyone's like, ooh, Farmageddon, that makes me really excited to watch Farmageddon.

Wow, we love that.

Cool rivalry.

Maybe you don't know a lot about Kansas State and Iowa State, but you're like, it's called Farm Aged.

Apparently, the schools told the SPN do not use the name Farm Ageddin.

Like Rhys Davis said on his podcast the other day, he's like, yeah, they asked us not to say Farm Agedden, which is kind of BS because why?

Like, are you...

Do you think it's like offensive?

Like, are you embarrassed about the farm part?

Farms are cool.

I don't know why that would be a no-no.

So that's questionable.

But also this.

put it on the poll at lebotard show are farms cool because i i don't think it's offensive like what's the problem why would you be offended by farmageddon what is this a cracker barrel yeah i don't know i think um i think it's really strange and they're also both teams are in the same conference but yet the game is not scheduled in conference play in 2027.

So that's weird.

Like, are they trying to cancel this series?

Because they've been playing this series for over 100 years.

It's what's one of the things that's outstanding rivalries.

There's no theory from anybody on why it is.

Like, no, when Reese Davis is saying this, why would they object to the term Pharmageddon?

It's funny and clever.

Are we looking down on farms?

I think they're looking down on Armageddon.

I just love how dialed Jess is because she's listening to Reese Davis podcast.

College Game Day podcast, I think it's like Reese and Pete Thammel, but I don't, damn, I don't know.

I really don't know.

There was like, I saw like some random fan posted this Pharmageddon graphic from last year where it was like both mascots on a tractor tractor and then crashing into each other and exploding.

And they were like, maybe they want to dial back on like the, you know, violent farm imagery.

But that doesn't seem like that, that can't be it, right?

I don't know.

I'd love to know.

We got to get Pablo to find out.

What was the other game, the Hawaii-Stord game had something in it that you found interesting?

Yeah, the Stanford game had a fifth-year Stanford player transferred from Yale, have a big tackle for loss in the first half against Hawaii, tackled tackled their quarterback, put Hawaii

a little bit out of the end zone, I guess a little bit out of the red zone.

So it was a big play.

It was a big play.

And the Stanford player was like, I'm going to celebrate this by doing a TikTok dance.

And he proceeded to do the TikTok dance for probably several seconds longer than is allowed.

And also was very sensual in doing this TikTok dance, which is imitating a fifth-grade Indonesian boy dancing on a boat, Dan, which I know you knew, but I figured I would say anyways.

I wish we could show people it.

Like,

describe a description.

Chris Cody actually

go ahead, Chris.

Chris, you got it.

And look, and this is not the same.

But make it sexy.

Make it sexy.

That's how his dad dances.

Wait a minute.

What was that?

Oh, boy.

Did she make it sexy?

Yeah, she did tell you.

And you immediately did.

Well, because the dance was sexy.

He made it sexy.

And he got penalized, and then Hawaii scored on the next play.

So

I think

the difference.

Yeah, it was a, I mean, it was a three-point game.

Hawaii's kicker who, you know, learned how to kick on YouTube videos, who's, he's from Japan and learned how to speak English playing football in Ohio came in and kicked the game winner so I think Stanford's I they're going into the season I think their wins total was like three and a half and like it's tough to find four games on their schedule especially now that they lost to Hawaii and I believe their total is gonna now gone down to like two and a half Mike you can check me on that on the sports on DraftKings

But man, it's not looking good for Stanford.

This is going to be a tough year for GM Andrew Luck, I think.

When Mel Kuyper says that Ohio State, Texas is the most anticipated game in a half a century.

I want to ask the group here, what do you guys believe to be the single most interesting thing from the weekend?

Or if we were trying to do five things from the college football weekend that's upcoming that you have an interest in, the top of the list is one player, not a team.

Lee Corso.

Yeah.

Okay, so it's Lee Corso over Arch Manning.

Willie Simmons' debut.

Yeah, Lee Corso.

I'm excited for the USF Boise State game tonight.

It's a great game.

It's going to start at 5.30, and it's in Tampa.

And USF's only a five and a half point underdog, which feels a little low considering Boise State was in the playoffs last year.

He was trapped.

They lost Ashton Genty.

And then after that, USF has to play Miami and Florida in the next two weeks.

So they've got a really tough non-conference schedule.

I'm looking forward to seeing what this mess at Ohio Stadium is all about.

I've never been there before.

I want to see if it's all cracked up to be.

Really?

You're going to go judge it?

You're going to be the judge.

You're going to be the judge of whether it's.

I'm going to judge.

You're gonna judge whether it's cracked up to be.

You know, they're gonna dop that I, whatever the hell that means, you know, if I'm gonna be there.

I'm gonna tell you if it's all it's cracked up to be.

You sound like you're going in like a cynic.

You don't think it's all it's cracked up.

Maybe I am.

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Hey, Tony.

Hey, Mike.

Hey, man.

The summer's almost ending, man.

I don't like that.

There's no way.

There's no way.

I am excited about cooler temperatures, but down here in South Florida, that just means slightly less boiling.

Hot.

It's been a pretty incredible summer.

We've had a parade down here.

We've grown our family down here at Metal Arc Media.

A lot of exciting things, a lot of memorable benchmarks.

And along the way, at almost every step, I've been tailed by that beautiful white can of Miller Light.

Oh, that beautiful white can.

Or the brown bottle.

You can do it on draft.

Draft is crisp.

There has been so many great special times.

And each time, I've decided to make those special times a Miller time.

Whether it's a long weekend like one we got coming up or a full-on vacation, it is a perfect time to get the crew back together.

This here marks 50 years of Miller time.

50 years of great taste, great friends, and unforgettable memories.

Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

Cheers to 50 years of Miller Time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

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Don Lebatard.

You were that kind of sad this morning, taking the barrage of anger from Stugatz because you hadn't booked him enough interviews.

The only reason I keep bringing this up is because you are throwing a big party on Thursday.

You're doing it, and I want people to support what you're doing because Stugatz has not made this easy.

Stugats.

Well, you know,

well, yeah, you know.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Since we're speaking of the fan experience, Jess, we were playing earlier this week on your own podcast, Echoes, which you do with Mike Golick.

I will tell people again that if you want,

if you want like die-hard coverage of the things that you want that is really informed, you're not going to get a lot better Notre Dame coverage than you are with whatever Jessica and the Golicks are making.

But Ian Book was on your podcast.

And Ian Book, Mike Ryan thinks, you tell me whether we have this accurate, because Mike Ryan says you were trying to talk Ian Book off the position that Hard Rock Stadium is indeed a difficult place to play.

So you tell us what's really happening here.

Are you trying to talk him off the position?

Because Mike thought you were thinking of him while this was happening.

And then it was so loud, couldn't hear anything.

And then I remember like actually having a pretty good drive when I went in there.

I threw a whole shot to Equinemius, started to drive down the field, thinking we'd maybe get three points or something before half, and and then threw a pick six.

Welcome to the turnover change.

So that was my experience, but

it was hostile.

And I remember for the

until we went down to Georgia, it was a loudest place.

I honestly, it might be louder than Georgia.

I was like, top two loudest places I've ever played in my career.

Louder than Michigan?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Louder than Michigan.

Blacksburg.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is a really good follow-up question because off the top of my head, I remembered two other college football stadiums that Ian played on on the road.

And I was like, hey, I should follow up and ask him, are you sure?

Do you remember the Michigan game that Notre Dame lost by a lot of points?

Or do you remember the Virginia Tech game where everyone's like, this is going to be the toughest road environment you ever played in?

I thought I was asking good follow-up questions there, but I guess not.

I guess I'm a dumb idiot.

Whatever.

I mean, you said it.

There was probably

two follow-ups, too many.

I mean, you said it was even louder than an athlete.

You're just listing loud things.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, loud places that that specific person played in.

But I think, Mike, like, I understand that you're very sensitive about people shitting on Hard Rock and that you have to keep bringing up a game from eight years ago to prove that it's a loud stadium.

And that's like, that's fine.

If you can use this as bulletin board material, go right ahead.

It doesn't matter to me if that is the loudest stadium Ian Book played in.

Oh, you're fairly famous.

A different story.

My face is like the same as Gojo's face throughout this entire clip.

Whatever.

I don't care.

If you want to do facial analysis of me, that's fine.

I need to get away with that.

In her defense,

Ian Book was saying something that begged follow-ups because it's not something a lot of people say or believe.

Like, that's, it's certainly not the, it's not the reputation that hard rock.

It's the reputation of that 2017 game.

Why would I want him to say Michigan's louder?

Like, I don't.

That's actually.

Because it's not Miami.

We already established you hate Miami.

So it's all right.

It's all right.

I hate Michigan.

Louder than a jet engine.

Louder than when Jenny engine.

Louder than when John Cena returned at the Royal Rumble.

No, Jess, I totally agree.

I like Miami more than Michigan.

I'll give you that.

I totally agree with you, though, Jess.

Like, it's pathetic.

Who would hang their hat on the 2017 season as if that's something that's still relevant right now?

I cannot understand what type of programme.

Zazzlow has a problem with the shirt you're wearing.

Zazzlo came in.

My shirt?

Yeah, Zazlo came in here.

Zazzlow came in here whispered.

For the 2017 National Championships,

Zazzlo came in here today and whispered under his breath punk move.

Balls.

Balls, Jeremy.

We were just talking about this a couple weeks ago, making fun of Auburn, who's claiming national championships from the early 20th century.

I mean, I know we all know that 1910 Auburn team was a wagon, all right?

But they're claiming that they weren't.

They actually, I did a deep dive into the Zazzlo.

You could check it out on my TikTok.

I went into the four national championships that Auburn claimed.

1910 specifically, I believe that was the year in which they were six and one and lost to Texas on the road.

And then the 1914 title, they claimed they had a tie against Georgia Tech, who was in the SEC at the time.

And both years, there were teams in the, Willow just kicked my computer because she's so cute.

There were teams that had better records than Auburn that were selected as national champions by like the computers or whatever.

I'm glad you did a deep dive there because I remember that 1910 team differently, Jess.

So that's a good job out of you right there.

But I'll also say this to you, Jeremy, as someone who I went to school at at UCF I went to UCF.

All right, I did I started Santa Fe.

Okay, don't go to UCF.

I don't know.

Angel, I thought you went to.

Okay, there's a lot of misinformation being thrown out here.

And I can settle this real quick.

I started my collegiate career at UCF.

I was there for a couple years.

I transferred to UF.

End of story.

Graduated.

But you were for UN and UF.

When you got to Santa Fe.

Never.

If you had a gun to my head and said, Saszlo, take me to Santa Fe Community College right now or I pull the the trigger.

I'd be dead.

I have no idea where it is.

I think you'd be lying.

How about Blacksburg?

How about Michigan?

I didn't go to these schools.

What's wrong with you?

Dan, while you were gone, Auburn woke up one day and just claimed like 14 national championships across different people.

Yeah, they learned from the best.

Oh, can I tell you about the other two?

So they also claimed 1958, which was the year that LSU won the national championship.

And LSU and Auburn were in the same conference, but they didn't play against each other.

And LSU was undefeated and beat Clemson in the Sugar Bowl.

And they were voted number one.

This is the AP and coaches poll era.

So they won the national championship, and Auburn's claiming that actually we, that's that one's ours too.

That one I don't really understand quite as well.

I think that there was some, you know, modern computer that ranked that as them as number one that year.

So they're just going to retroactively claim it, which, whatever, fine.

But actually, I think the 2004 one is pretty interesting, Dan, which you, I'm sure, remember because this was like during our lifetimes.

Auburn is similar to UCF, Jeremy.

They weren't chosen by the BCS to play in the championship game.

That was Oklahoma and USC.

And so they are just like, well, we went undefeated in all our games.

So we are just going to claim the national championship because we didn't get a chance to play for the title.

So I kind of, that one,

I could get behind a little bit.

You know what the shirt is?

But then it validates Jeremy.

So maybe not.

The only 2017 undefeated champion.

So what?

I mean, the only undefeated team in the country.

It's so lame.

We're a national championship.

Champion.

When you did it with...

Miami Hurricanes then, 2000 national champion.

There you go.

I gave it to him.

But Zazzo, the national championship is like a made-up thing.

That's why

I'm doing this because six titles.

Historically in college football, no one played for a national championship until like very modern history.

And then everyone voted on it for a really long time.

Like you would just, if you were Greg Cody, you'd just be like, I'm voting for Miami.

And that's how people won the national championship.

This modern era of national championship obsession is very unique to the very long over 130-year history of the sport.

You know what?

I would like to just say that that is why I try to focus on things like Pharmageddon and Hawaii and making fun of Stanford and their stupid tree when I can because they don't get enough attention because everyone's just like, ah, Texas and Ohio State, blah, blah, blah.

You know what?

I'm giving the Kanes the O2 Fiesta Bowl 2.

That Terry Porter was sus as hell.

Oh, nice that you had something going on this century.

In the last 20 years.

It was played.

You just don't agree with the result.

That's different.

You lost the game.

Well, I didn't know.

You know who did lose a game?

We went to Santa Fe.

UCF.

Crazy that they're hanging on to 2017 with

the best team in their own state.

We're going to get to Best Limited Fake in a second.

And I was hoping to get Jessica's reaction to Greg Cody's insane anger, but we have to get to her top five because we don't have much time left.

So let's do this.

What is the top five about?

The top five is top five teams I'm excited to watch that aren't projected to make the playoffs.

How about that?

Wow, synergy.

You guys, I asked you most interesting thing from the weekend, and you gave me a bunch of answers that weren't Belichick or Arch Manning or anything involving the games on Saturday, even.

We said the games starting with tonight, Dan.

First Frost tonight, Dan.

UCF Jacksonville State.

You don't want to see First Frost 2.0, the second First Frost?

Is it a Simmons?

Scott Frost is back.

I got a strong 20 on Alabama FSU.

Number five, Jess.

I mean, I think Alabama may be a sleeper this year.

Number five, Nebraska.

So they're playing this weekend at...

Arrowhead Stadium, which is, okay, is like Dylan Royola tried to get a game at Arrowhead Stadium.

Like, this is taking it too far.

I actually actually looked into it.

This is Cincinnati's home game that they scheduled at Arrowhead, so that is not why they're playing there.

They snapped their seven-year streak of losing seasons last year.

Dana Holgerson is the offensive coordinator.

Their defense was really, really good in 2024, but they lost a ton of players.

So, TBD, how good they really are.

But I do think I'm intrigued by Dylan Rayola as a talent and to see if he gets any better

and you know, maybe can pull off an upset or two this year in the Big Ten.

Number four.

Number four, South Carolina.

Now,

some people do consider them a playoff sleeper.

I think that their schedule is very difficult, but I do love Lenora Sellers on their quarterback.

And I do love Dylan Stewart, who is an edge rusher on their defense.

They did lose a good amount of solid defenders last year to the draft, but also not the best offensive line, Dan.

But Lenora Sellers is very fun to watch.

He's one of the most exciting quarterbacks, I think, who's flying a little bit under the radar going into the season.

Finished the season really strong last year after being hurt for a few games.

So I'm excited to watch South Carolina.

Number three,

Texas Tech.

So much money they've spent.

They've spent a lot of money.

We'll see if it works.

I mean, it's the Big 12.

The margin between the top six teams is pretty small.

So maybe it will.

Maybe there'll be a playoff team after all.

But either way, I'm excited to see how it all comes together.

Number two,

Vanderbilt.

Really?

The Doors.

Dan Diego Pavia is back for another season.

He had to do some like little court action to get back on the field for this year.

And they've got a really great tight end.

And I just love Clark Lee, their head coach.

He's a phenomenal coach.

And so, will they be eligible for the second season in a row?

I don't know, but I would love to see them make a splash in the SEC and maybe have a couple more upsets this year.

At the very least, beat He Freeze again.

And finally, number one:

North Carolina.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What happened, Chris?

You forgot?

He was looking for the splash.

I mean, Dan, here is like the generous case for North Carolina.

They play some of the worst ACC teams this year.

They play Stanford, Wake, Cal.

No, I love Cal.

No disrespect to Cal.

I'm part of the Calgarithm family.

But their ACC schedule is not that difficult.

I don't know if they're going to beat TCU.

But then they go on to play like Richmond and Charlotte for their next two games.

So I think it could be a fun season for old Billy B.

On Monday.

I will tell you that's Labor Day.

Mike, why are you and Billy laughing the way that you're looking?

Chris is just splashing.

There it is.

There it is.

There it is.

Chris was screaming for 20 seconds.

Where is it?

Jessica, we will talk to you on Monday as part of our Labor Day offerings after Miami, Notre Dame.

Good talking to you.

Good seeing you.

Nice hearing your voice again.

Please leave my face up back there.

My makeup looks really good in that.

Thank you.

Yes, you are welcome.

I did it myself.

A programming note.

On Monday, Labor Day, we will give you some limited offerings, even though we're off of Miami, Notre Dame in the college football weekend.

And I'm here throughout the football season on Fridays, every Friday throughout the football season.

I will be here all the Fridays.

I'm going all the Fridays as many as I'm going to be.

That includes tomorrow.

That would include.

That begins tomorrow.

Dan, it's not just college football that we got to recap.

Someone at the MLS offices thought it would be a really smart idea to have the League's Cup final at the exact same time as Miami, Notre Dame.

Wow.

This Labor Day at Lowe's.

Shop member-only Doorbuster deals for a limited time.

Save $50 on an Ego string trimmer.

Now $169.

Plus, get 50% off.

Select Holland Pavers.

Not a rewards member?

Sign up for free today.

But hurry, Labor Day Doorbuster deals won't last long.

Lowe's, we help, you save.

Valentine 9-1 while supplies last.

Program subject to terms and conditions.

Details at lowe's.com/slash terms.

Subject to change.

Don Lebatard.

Sports.

Stugats.

Smart Sports.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Limited Fake is one of the SUI categories.

How much do we have here, Chris?

Is this a big category or a small category?

This is about 10 minutes.

I like it.

This is a strong one.

10 minutes of limited fakes?

And now the Sui nominees for Best Limited Fake.

Roy Bellamy, limited fake Flanagan's voice.

Flanagans.

That's good.

Roy, you're really good at that.

Roy,

Roy.

Flanagans.

Tony Kalatiud, limited fake Nikola Iokic, carrying the nuggets on his shoulders.

Jumo Murray is there.

Darren Gordon, God make a shot.

Michael Morton Jr., his shoulder.

Couple my shoulders.

Oh, God was broke.

Where's Malone?

Amino Hesson and Chris Cody, limited fake Patrick Mahomes.

Juju,

I'm trying to do my Mahomes or Mason.

Not quite.

Come on, Mason.

Yeah, it's a little crimit the broad.

Crimit the Bragg about Juju.

I've been smoking a couple of cigarettes.

We'd be friends, Juju.

Yeah.

Mike Ryan, limited fake medieval accent.

The contest of last Eve was most enthralling.

Yeah, that get rid of the.

The Knights of New York did battle against their foes with great vigor.

That is much more annoying than

their castle walls were laid besiege by the most fearsome force.

I'd rather have this than my wife.

Yeah, I feel like.

Greg Cody, limited fake John Fasenda.

The frozen tundra.

Not helpful.

So, let's play for the people.

Less helpful.

Mike Ryan, limited fake Jonathan Zaslow.

Awesome player.

You tired?

Hello, Fammer.

Might be hit.

It's your boy.

Coming around.

It's your boy Pat Riley.

It's your boy.

Don't talk bad about Pat Riley.

I'll take the ran at 50.

Who made that shot until he's 66?

Hello, who?

Amin El Hassan, limited fake Jack Nicholson.

Every single act I do goes like this, and I'm Jack Nicholson, and I don't actually have to do anything else but do this thing right here.

And I do my eyebrows, and then I die, and a rat comes around, and all of a sudden, we win an Oscar.

Hank Azaria, limited fake Jack Nicholson.

Would you want him to go all Jack Nicholson on you and sit there with his sunglasses on, not giving a shit?

I mean, what's the guy supposed to do, goddammit?

Andrew Hawkins, limited fake Michael Irvin.

You're gonna let him come in your house and tell you your beat that you made in six minutes isn't good enough.

We can't stand for it.

Stand up for yourself, Jeremy.

We're losing recipes.

Jason Bonetti, limited fake Jim Rome.

White smoke, 445.

possible black smoke.

Later on, Jim Lampley is here Friday.

Welcome to the jungle.

This is the premier radio network.

Chris Cody, limited fake Mike Breen's bang.

He's got a good bang.

Bang!

Bang!

Here's your go.

Got it back now.

The pain has to be a part of it.

Bang!

Amino Hesson, limited fake Stephen A.

Smith.

Now, here's the thing, Dalebath.

I know that the scoreboard already says, I've won this thing.

But if you mean to tell me I'm afraid of Andrew Hawkins, I will put my reputation on the line and I will say this.

When I take off of this rap.

Greg Cody, limited fake Joe Biden as the werewolf of Scranton.

I'm the werewolf of Scranton.

Andrew Hawkins and Amin L.

Hassan, limited fake Cameron and Mace.

And that's crazy.

You wait, the moderator, lobs it up for something.

That's crazy.

Yo, it's your first time hosting a show.

He's not Molly Karen.

This man.

He's Folly Karen.

Come on, yo.

What is he doing?

That's crazy.

He's Molly not Karen.

You mad.

Fat Bill O'Reilly.

He looking like a fat Bill O'Reilly.

Let's try this.

He's the mean L S.

I'm a mean assassin.

Yo, Dan.

He's the man.

He's a mean old bastard.

Chris Cody, limited fake Danny DeVito, as the penguin.

I love when the penguin goes to like the holiday party.

He's just like,

ooh, good impression.

Nobody thinks it's weird that he looks like that.

Like, it's

just like.

Yeah, he runs for mayor.

Awful movie.

In terms of things not holding up,

I remember, okay.

I mean, Rudy Giuliani looked the way that he did.

Amin El Hessen, limited fake John Taffer.

You're using your bare hands.

What are you doing, you you cross-contaminating anyway, you sick son of ours?

You gotta kill somebody!

Mike Ryan, limited fake RFK Jr.

That's who's killing us, by the way.

I do want to get to your

thank you.

It's a little polio.

I love polio.

This I'm here for.

I love polio.

Love polio.

Amin El Hessen, limited fake Don Kang.

I'm often confused with the one and only Don King.

We are very different individuals, I promise you that.

He says only in America, I say strictly in the United States.

And I'm here to promulgate the indefatigable, pugilistic showdown between

the dastardly, delicious Draymond Green.

Yes.

And the rudely rudimentary Rudy Gobert.

All right.

It's a showdown in Minnesota.

Jonathan Zaszlo, limited fake El Pacino in Carlito's way.

You think you're big time?

You're gonna die.

Big time.

Amin L.

Hesson, limited fake Tom Hardy.

See, uh, Kev, me and the arrogance,

we've got a problem, ain't it?

Billy Gill and Mike Ryan, limited fake David Beckham.

No, no.

Daddy talked like this and say push.

Yes, he did, Billy.

It was strange.

His voice touched quite much.

Hello, you.

Tell the truth.

Mike Ryan, limited fake Tom Brokall.

Terrible news.

I'm from the greatest generation.

Diana Rossini, limited fake Diana Russini's mom.

Mom, just give me truth.

Breaking news.

Breaking news.

What happened?

What happened?

Should I tell your father?

Are you on the fan?

Are you on the fan right now?

Did Mike Greenberg call you yet?

Are you ever going to go back to ESPN?

People think it's so weird you're a writer now.

All those years on TV?

All those years?

And now you write?

Who reads that?

Why did he take a job at the Atlantic?

Mom, I work at the Athletic.

What?

You're on YouTube?

Daddy, Daddy says you're doing a live show on the draft.

Is it Channel 7?

You know

those girls on Eyewitness News?

They look good.

They're mothers.

They look good, though.

Amino Hesson, limited fake pirate chat GPT recap of Heat Game.

Our Matey gather around for a tale of the Heat Clippers showdown.

The Miami Heat sailed into the battle against the Los Angeles Clippers, bringing fire on the court.

The clash be fierce, with both sides giving it their all.

The Heat fired cannons from beyond the ark, but the Clippers weren't about to be left in Davy Jones' locker.

Really a good pirate.

The game was tight, with both teams exchanging blows like a mighty storm at sea.

In the end, it was the Heat who came out victorious, outlasting the Clippers with cut shots and solid defense.

Bang!

Billy Gill, limited fake Shaggy.

Mr.

Lovela, Lovela.

Chris Cody and Mike Ryan, limited fake Dan, big timing Dominique.

I say, what up, Dan?

You didn't even turn your neck.

You just, you shot me with the Chuck Me the Deuces.

I just didn't know it was you.

I just thought somebody was shouting my name.

Oh, another day driving to work.

Someone's shouting my name.

Hey, what's up?

How's it going?

I'm an ally.

He's a big time writer, just like me.

I'm an ally, but but yep, that's what you do.

That kind of thing.

That's you, Dan.

I'm an

ally.

Wait, do I have the button?

Greg Cody, limited fake alien from Scranton.

I am an alien from Scranton.

I'm an alien.

alienate that's right

there are aliens all over the united states i wanted to make clear that i'm an alien from scranton amino hesson limited fake barack obama let me be clear when i heard the news that uh stephen a smith decided that he should run for office i said that's a great american Now, some folks across the aisle don't like that.

They want Skibalis to be the nominee.

But

I told my family, Sasha, Michelle, Malipp.

Charlie Kravitz, limited fake Dan Lebatard.

Put me next to you at your darkest moment, Mr.

Uber driver.

No, Dominique, it's a cartel, and Bob Kraft not getting anyone to hire Bob Belichicks.

That's some gangster.

Oh, my.

These gladiator games!

They're feeding the church of football, the cathedral!

Dan Lebatard, limited fake Nikola Jokic.

I just want horse.

Tim Kirchin, limited fake Ed Helms, in the hangover.

Look at me.

I married a hooker.

I got no front teeth.

Greg Cody and Chris Cody, limited fake Joe Biden.

Sitting around a kitchen table and Scranton.

My dad said, Joey, someday you could be vice president.

Not bad.

Try it without the mask.

Come on.

Give it a whirl.

Sitting on a kitchen table and scranton.

All he's got is scranton.

That's all he's got.

It is all he's got.

You're so right.

There is.

That's on the kitchen table and Scranton.

We got it.

Do I go anywhere else?

He's got Scranton.

Mike Ryan and Chris Cody, limited fake chorus of Adam Sandlers.

I do believe that.

Yes, we will do that.

We will do that.

I hate that movie so much.

He does an amazing job.

That's really good.

Oh, don't you hate that impression?

Oh my god.

It's also really good.

So bad.

A chorus of Adam Sandler's.

Impression is so bad.

What?

Stop looking at me, Swan.

Conditioner is better.

I leave the hair silky and smooth.

Unknown listeners, limited fake Steve from Sex and the City.

Yeah!

Steve!

Give it to Steve!

I'm an ally.

Hey, Tony.

Hey, Mike.

Hey, man.

Summer's almost ending, man.

I don't like that.

There's no way.

There's no way.

I am excited about cooler temperatures, but down here in South Florida, that just means slightly less boiling.

It's been a pretty incredible summer.

We've had a parade down here.

We've grown our family down here at Metal Arc Media.

A lot of exciting things, a lot of memorable benchmarks.

And along the way, at almost almost every step, I've been tailed by that beautiful white can of Miller Light.

Oh, that beautiful white can.

Or the brown bottle.

You can do it on draft.

Draft is crisp.

There's been so many great special times.

And each time, I've decided to make those special times a Miller time.

Whether it's a long weekend like one we got coming up or a full-on vacation, it is a perfect time to get the crew back together.

This year marks 50 years of Miller time.

50 years of great taste, great friends, and unforgettable memories.

Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Go to MillerLite.com/slash/Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

Cheers to 50 years of Miller time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.