Local Hour: Worst Mistake

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Am I going to ruin the vibes on Friday? I'm a little worried about. You have already.

It's a solid six months. Where's Hawkins?

I already ruined it. I just, I said a sentence.
I'm not going to lie. Yesterday, he made a whole big thing.
And guess what? For football season, I'm here every Friday. What?

Thinking that that was going to be like well received.

The audience, I think, likes it. We like ball here on Fridays.
Yeah. We don't want, if you say dirty at all, this show, I'm going to wring your neck.
Oh. Oh, wow.
The ringing of the neck.

Well, I already threatened to kill ESPN.

But, okay, first of all, ringing of the neck, that is, you're going to hang me? Like, is that... The ringing of the neck.
No, man. What are you?

Here you go. It's like Homer Simpson to bart.

Vibe check, how's it going over there, Tom? Not good.

If you ring someone's neck,

so this is the only time

you're like squeezing out a cloth that has water in it. The ringing of a cloth, that's the verb.
But your neck.

But your neck. So that's what you're going to do to my neck.
You're going to grab it like

a wet towel and you're going to squeeze it. I've not seen what Homer Simpson does to Bart.
Gonna be a long season.

Until the juices come out of my every orifice. The first question was: Are you gonna hang me? No.
If I were gonna hang you, I'd say I'd hang you. Need a heavy rope.

You are getting very comfortable with body-shaming people. I mean, what you did to Zaslow yesterday

when

you're just burying him for the amount that

he is eating.

Why are you so comfortable with this? I am never comfortable. That was not Chris.
That was you. You really got to know that.
That was you. No.
That wasn't. It was not Chris.

Stop calling people fat Chris.

It was absolutely

not me. It was Chris Cody who went right.
I said that I could still smell the breakfast off Zaz when he sang in my ear. That's what I said an hour later.

That's me starting it? That I could still smell the breakfast coming off of his singing voice that was still sticking to me. That's me starting.
We're not going to get to Micah Parsons. No, no.

Today, you want to get to that?

Billy, I don't have confidence in what Greg Cody is about to try here.

Yeah, but go on.

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Holidays as a dad? Tough. Travel, gifts, matching pajamas.
Don't get me started on matching pajamas. It's hot in Miami.
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This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stu Gats Podcast.

Do I think he's gonna pull it up?

It's time to put on a suit and roll out the carpet

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at the suit.

That kind of thing.

Why do we have to run everything into the ground?

We can't stop

short of making the joke something that bothers everybody. Why are you still sitting here staying there? I thought you were off today.

Wasn't he off today? He was off today. This is the new Fridays, Dan? This is on.
This fits for me. Dan and Jeremy Fridays.
I see this. Come out of here.

I've been trying to get to a Marlin story with Jeremy all week. I'm not going to do it the day after Micah Parsons gets traded.
Get out of here. All right.
Love you too.

Thank you for coming in on your off day to Feed Yours. The best time of the year.
Feed your inner theme. Keep it out right here.

Tashet and Lebatard, French Fridays.

But for Dan, French Fridays. French Fridays.
Cote.

That's good. I like

that. It's not.
It's not as good. Maybe the name, but the product, I don't know.
No, that's the problem. Yes, it's all in a name.
You're correct. The product itself would not be good.

A handful of things to say about something that you just hardly ever see.

That player, Micah Parsons, does not get traded at that age.

I know he's not LeBron James, but one of the reasons the LeBron James trade was such a giant story is because that player does not get traded at that age in sports. It's why the Luca

thing is such a big story because nothing you get back in that trade, nothing you ever get back in that trade is going to be as good as what you already have. That thing is so valuable.

The pass rush is so valuable and he's better at it than anybody.

Miles Garrett, to my eye, is better, but by the metrics, Micah Parsons is better at getting at the quarterback with pressure than anybody in the league.

He's LT-ish in the way that he can get to the quarterback, and you just don't get to say that about anybody. So that player never gets traded.

But I believe everybody's sort of missing why this trade was made as we're talking about Jerry Jones's senility and we're talking about whether he got along with his agent and a bunch of other things that aren't what I thought this was about.

And it's not about Jerry Jones wanting attention.

The two biggest reasons this happened, and I don't know which one you guys would choose from among these two reasons, but I believe these are the two biggest reasons.

One is the two teams in your division at quarterback are younger and better and are going to be younger and better for the next 10 years.

One of them because they have a quarterback who can do it without a lot of help, the other one because he's got so much help around him that they're both going to keep showing that Dak Prescott was drafted where he was for a reason.

So that's reason number one. Reason number two is this, and I don't think anybody's talking about this particular thing here.

Tony, can you get for me, please, the game logs from last year for the Dallas Cowboys and what they did at home and the point totals they allowed at home when it wasn't Schottenheimer rebuilding.

It was Mike McCarthy, we're win now off of 12 wins. At home, give me the point total scores and the result of all the home games Dallas played last year.

Because I don't know if you guys remember, I don't know what you'd say off the top of your head, was the single most stunning result for you last season, but I do remember Saints going into Dallas and putting up 40-something points to beat Dallas was among the most...

the largest surprises I saw last year. That was week two.
That was the home opener for Dallas and they got beat 44-19 to a Saints team that everybody's like, okay, I guess they're decent.

And the bottom fell out for the Saints. A little bit of context for Dallas's season last year.
Eight games with Dak. He got hurt with a hamstring.
He was out.

Within those home games, they went two and six. They had a two-point win and a seven-point win.
Those are the only wins they had all season. So point totals they gave up.

44 to New Orleans, 28 to Baltimore, 47 to Detroit,

34 to Philadelphia. That was the first game

without Dak Prescott. Cooper rushed through for 45 yards total

in the entire game.

They gave up 34 to Houston,

excuse me, 20 in a win to New York. They gave up 27 to Cincinnati.
They gave up 26 or 24 in a win to Tampa Bay. And they gave up 23 in a loss to Washington.

And

those numbers, when you see what the Dallas defense was doing when Micah was out there, when he wasn't out there, Those numbers aren't going to make up what is your architectural gap.

Before we get to the meat of this, though, you guys have seen some of the large numbers that are being thrown around on metrics by Bill Barnwell and others, right?

I mean, because I can simplify this for you.

Bill, I can give you a whole bunch of data that says dig deep on all the advanced metrics and the way these people make measurements, or I can just tell you that Bill Barnwell says that mathematically, when Micah Parsons is on the field, they are, per play, the best defense in the league, and when he's not, they're the worst.

Like that, like he can do,

that's an obvious oversimplification, but he can do it with the numbers to show you something that's appalling.

If Jerry Jones is right now celebrating what has been 30 years of failure for that franchise in a Netflix documentary, And the starting point on that celebration and all of the division between him and Jimmy Johnson is they cannot agree who's responsible for the Herschel Walker trade that brought back the draft picks when they had the genius idea of we're not good enough, so let's trade our best player because we're not good enough.

Because they're just doing the same thing here.

They're trading their most valuable asset because the way to close the gap between Philadelphia and Washington in this a rebuilding year for the Cowboys is to use those draft picks and try to close the gap.

Micah Parsons wasn't gonna, this is the way that Micah Parsons helps you most the next two seasons if you're the Dallas Cowboys, because they're not actually close.

They were really terrible against the run. They were 29th against the run.
And in that division, when you play the Eagles twice and a mobile quarterback and Jaden Daniels twice,

Jerry Jones spoke to this. That's why they got Kenny Clark and two first-round draft picks.

I'm shocked that Jerry Jones made this deal, but also he did pretty well because Kenny Clark does help where they're weakest.

And Jerry Jones already said, like, everyone assumes we're going to keep these draft picks. We can use these draft picks to add to our team.
This is Jerry Jones' spin on it.

Run defense.

You're not stopping Philadelphia from running the ball with or without Micah Parsons. They run the ball.
It's why they're champions. They run it against everybody.

It's why Jalen Hurts looks the way he does.

You're right, though, that the problems with what it is that I just said for the Cowboys is it's not just that Philadelphia and Washington are better than you, obviously. It's the way they're better.

They're younger and more stable at quarterback.

They

have a future that doesn't have defenses that allow those point totals. Guys, those were the home games.
Your defense, 44, 28, 47, 34, 34, 27. I don't care who your quarterback is.

That didn't happen to Pittsburgh when they don't get the quarterback playing. Those numbers at home,

I understand Micah Parsons didn't play in some of the games, but that's the problem. Like, Dak Prescott can't correct that, nor can run defense, by the way.

Like, okay, fine, Micah Parsons, you just, the way that you try to neutralize is you run right at him instead of trying to, trying to pass around him.

And I think a couple of years ago, there was a bit of a mask on the Dallas defense because they created so many turnovers that that masked some of the inefficiencies that they were having on corner, safety, and defensive line that it was like, oh, Dallas' defense is actually really good.

And then the bottom fell out again for the last two years. But let me be clear on what we just saw yesterday, because I'm not allowed to act unsurprised by this.

We've been talking for weeks about, oh, Jerry likes the noise of this, and then he caves at the end. He always does that.
Mike is not going anywhere.

In the stunning of what happened yesterday, because Jerry Jones has to correct all of this.

One, you just traded away someone that I can absolutely make the argument is the best defensive player you've ever had.

I can make that argument now, rest of his career unseen.

I can also make this argument, and this is the problem that Jerry Jones has as he refuses stubbornly and arrogantly to let go of some of the reins on his league, as if his family is special about creating football teams.

If I said to you right now,

I'm going to give any NFL executive that you ever have thought of, incompetent or otherwise, whoever it is, Urban Meyer, whoever it is, I'm going to give you 30 years in that job.

Am I getting more or fewer than two playoff wins?

Yeah, that's a good point. I understand it.

That being said, I don't think he did poorly here. If he has to give up

he did poorly. No, getting Micah Parsons is the hard part.
Being so incompetent that you have to trade him because you haven't built well enough around him is the problem.

They didn't have to trade him. They could have paid him.

And Micah Parsons' statement was hilarious. I didn't make any demands.
Brother, that's how this whole thing started. You made a very strong demand.
It wasn't a request.

You have to trade him if everything else I just said is true. You have to trade him because you're not going to make up the gap with him because look at how bad you were with him.

I'm not going to pretend like I know what is going to happen in that division. Historically, people go from bottom to top a ton.

Oh, but that defense can get better and the Dolphins can get better without making it the right decision. They're not going to win the championship this year.

They're in play. The standard there is every year we play for the championship.
They may get better.

They might. Like, I really think their defense can't be worse.
Like, worse than that, you cannot be.

So they get better. They win 10 games.
And what? Jaden Daniels is still in your division. Now, maybe Jaden Daniels gets hurt, but the Eagles are still in your division.

And what I was beginning to say about the problem that they have is it's not just that it's Philadelphia and Washington in your division. It's the way those teams play and they're built.

Like, it's not, they're going to beat you this season and they're going to beat you next season, whether Micah Parsons is there or not, because I don't trust Dak Prescott.

to be better than what it is that they have now, both those teams, in stability at their quarterback. And you don't either.

Like, none of you listening to this, if I just make it, hey, the draft evaluations were right

skill sets jalen hurts

and jaden daniels have skill sets that dak prescott does not have made by the measurements that they do at the draft by these scientists who if i gave any of them 30 years would win more than two playoff games assessing talent any of them mike tannenbaum i give him 30 years mike tannenbaum may have won more playoff games than jerry jones in the last 30 consecutive years he made it to afc championship games you got to win more than i i'm i and is it two playoff wins i don't even know is it one?

Like, how many playoff games have the? It might be one.

I think they Romo beat Minnesota one time.

Yeah.

Jack has one.

Did they beat the Lions in a playoff game?

Whatever the playoff number is,

I didn't think we'd know them since there were so few.

Who is the give me the person, the human being that you were to say

is the worst football executive in the history of the league?

Chris Greer.

No.

Joe Banner was pretty bad in Cleveland.

Just Holmgren was pretty bad in Cleveland. Pretty much everybody's been pretty bad in Cleveland except for Andrew Berry, and then he gave out the worst contract ever.

At Lebetard's show, if I put the worst executive in the history of football in charge for 30 years, would he win more than two playoff games? Yes or no?

They have four wins since 2009 in the playoffs and three since

14, 2014. Wait a minute, what? They have three wins in the playoffs since 2014.
In 2014, they beat the Lions. In 2018, they beat the Seahawks.
And in 2022, Dak beat the Bucks. On the wildcard round.

Yeah, I forgot that Seahawks won. So they've won three playoff games? I don't think Dak's been there at 14.
So Dak, I think, has won two. They've never gotten out of the divisional round.

That's crazy. They're living off of 30 years ago, and Billy's worried about Jerry Jones, like concerned about him.
He came in here concerned for Jerry Jones.

Well, did you see the press conference yesterday of Jerry Jones when he was talking about the trade?

I saw that it was 42 minutes.

Well, Jerry, who likes to get out there in front of everyone to kind of show his face and say this is why we did what we did, was struggling a bit in the press conference where he continuously was calling Micah Michael.

And then Stephen Jones had to then come in and say it's Micah.

And then Jerry Jones later on would just continue to say Michael. And then at some point, he would correct himself and say Micah.
Michael, no, Micah, Micah.

But there was an issue where, you know, kind of confusing the player a little bit. He's been calling him Michael for years.
Yeah.

I think he genuinely thinks his name is Michael the way that you think it's a Jordan.

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D Lebatard. I read his lips and it sounded like he was saying, what? You want to f ⁇ ing fight me now?

But I'm telling you, if you look, we can play a game right now. The lips look the same on fight you and failure.
Watch my lips. I'm going to turn off my mic.
No, I just want to get it.

Just look at your drinks.

I'm going to sing one of these things.

And I want you guys to tell me if I'm saying fight you or failure. Okay? Yeah, yeah.
Stugats. Why are your ideas always so bad for the podcast?

Is this a caravan?

Here we go. Do it again.

Fight you. Fight you.

Maybe you can't tell. Oh my god.
We got to the bottom of it. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

At the beginning of the Cowboys documentary, Paul Tagleybu introduced the Dallas Cowboys first-round pick, Mitchell Irvin.

Wide receiver out of the University of Miami, Mitchell Irvin. Some folks are just bad with names.

I have a clip of him calling him Michael Parson.

Ooh, the double of getting the first name wrong and eliminating or adding an S. That happened to me as soon as I got to 50.
They gave it to me as a gift on my 50th birthday, those two things.

Of all the players that I've ever negotiated with,

Michael Parson is as savvy and knowledgeable and understanding of his financial business relative to football as any player I've ever been around.

Yeah, Michael Parson. He just traded Michael Parson.

Michael Parson. I'm sure.
I'm sure. Michael Parson is a kicker, right? It's a good haul for for Michael Parson.
Michael Parson is a kicker.

Imagine if he was right and he had someone named Michael Parson who was just like, you know, like a scout team player or whatever.

And, you know, the Packers are like, I don't think Jerry knows what he's doing. He's telling us he's trading us Michael Parson.
Michael Parson first for Michael Parson.

And then all of a sudden, they have the introductory press conference. Like, who the hell is that guy? And he's like, I'm Michael Parson.

Put it on the poll. Michael Parson.
Put it on the poll, please, at Lebetard show. Is Michael Parson the name of of a kicker? Yes or no? Michael Parson.
It's a totally different player.

Michael Parson. No one fears Michael Parson.
Michael Parson could put up exactly the same stat line as Micah Parsons and would be lightly regarded. Michael Parson.

I've got him working in insurance, Mr. Parson.
Just generally in insurance? Yeah. Middle management? Like, what is he doing? Or is he selling stuff door to door? Not happy.
He's not happy.

Whatever it is, Danny's not happy about it. Well, he's not happy.
It's not inspiring work that Michael Parson does when he goes to the house.

Like you drive by and it's like a state farm and it says Michael Parson. Michael Dorothy.

The weather for Miami, Notre Dame is going to be scary. It's going to be wet and a lot of thunder and lightning is being projected.
That's the forecast. Now, forecast can change, but

I genuinely don't know who that helps.

If we're judging off a blast here, I mean, it would be easy to say this helps Jeremiah Love, who'd probably run for 300 yards against Miami, but they did reshape their defense, and if the weather is bad, you'd think that means it's a trenches game.

And the reputation is Notre Dame always has a good offensive line. But I would say that Miami is actually girthier, bigger, more athletic on the outside, especially on the edge.

That defensive line actually plays to a strength of Miami, you would think just by body types. And the offensive line, as we know, is certainly a strength for Miami.

Do you guys like these kinds of games? Because I like the elements to not be involved at all. I don't want snow.
I want offense, and I want speed to be unencumbered.

I don't want the rain, even though I could see how it might help Miami, just because I think Miami's true advantage comes Sunday night will be that crowd with a holiday the very next

unhinged. I don't want it thunderstorming on that crowd.
Okay, well, yeah, I don't think, i do not believe that miami uh the city in its history has

the level of discomfort required when you go out to stay in that stadium full and loud if it is raining the entire time like if you stay

covered now like the the the the seats are covered and that that will help a large chunk i think like close to 85 percent of the the seats will be covered A small percentage of the lower level will get wet.

Yeah, but

this, you want people working up a lather

throughout the day. And if the weather is bad, I don't know how crazy people can get.
But yeah,

it's tough to say. Look, the quarterback hasn't played for Notre Dame.

This is hard. We know that they were a good team last year.
We know that they have a good secondary. We know that their running back is really good.

We know that they added to wide receiver core that's certainly thought of as better than Miami's. I don't really know uh

where this game will play out if the weather does indeed impact it. I'm just gonna stick to my guns and say we're gonna rip their freaking heads off.

Wow, Miami hurricanes, or are you the Miami sugar cubes that melt with water? Like, what's going on here? Embrace this weather. Say, you know what? I want this bad weather.

I want nobody to come in here and be uncomfortable. What are we? What are you? It's gonna rain so we can't go to the game.
This is crazy.

You guys believe that a crowd that I immerse before the game in two hours of rain so you cannot tailgate that is milling about indoors before the game to stay out of the weather, you guys believe that we as a city,

just general temperament of the human beings who go to football games around here, you think we have 80,000 strong of noise for a Sunday night game that won't embarrass Miami if the rain is so bad that it makes it so that nobody who's listening to this, inside or outside of Miami would want to go to a football game.

Like I'm not even, you understand what we're head what we're possibly headed toward just because the weather is going to be shitty.

Dan, I don't think you understand this, but you've been on this side, on the glass side, on the on the high up side too long. You don't think that there's 80,000 strong that are going to go out there?

Have you seen only in Dade where there's a terrible rainstorm and there's people running in the streets, jumping into the water in the streets outside of club space? Have you not seen that, Dan?

Imagine that times 80,000 with about 8,000 Miller lights. Okay, unstoppable force meets immovable object.
Bam. That's one Miller light.
It's not enough per person for every 10. I'm saying 80,000.

Well, responsibly. Thank you.
No,

that's too much. That's not going to get people the excited thing you think it's going to be what it is.

I'm trying to be nice with the sponsors, guys.

No, but you drink that. Responsible.

I make jokes about this. It's a cause close to the bottom.
Thank you. Thank you.
And we are the proud Suey. I'm not making fun.
He was nice with the sponsor. Thank you.
He was not nice with the math.

The math math. The math gets in the way.
What do you care about the math? The math. Scott Bill Barnwell's hosting the show.
You're right. You want to talk to your math friends? Who cares? Math?

Schmath. All right.

Get an ice-cold cooler, put some ice in it, throw some Miller lights, put some stuff on the grill. Even if it rains, doesn't matter.

I saw today one of the crunchiest things I've ever seen coming into the studio where I didn't call the authorities, but I did think about calling because I was like, someone's going to get hurt.

Where I was driving past the airport and there was a gentleman whose car was in the lane for like broken down cars and he was in that lane. And then I saw what I thought was him.

He very clearly was on, you know, live or he was FaceTiming someone or doing something, screaming at the top of his lungs.

And he's just showing off where he is, which is like, you're on the 836 with the airport behind you and there's just standstill traffic. What are we, what's this flex, sir?

And he's screaming in Spanish, like, ah, like showing off where he was. And then I think I saw him take a shot and then maybe start smoking a cigar.
And I was like, what, what's going on here, sir?

This, it's like 7.45 in the morning. What are we doing?

And then I was like, I think I should tell someone what's going on here. But traffic wasn't moving.
Very crazy Friday for that guy so far today. What he was doing is just Miami parking in traffic.

Get back in that car, though.

Get back in that car and head to Hard Rock Stadium. We're going to need get there by Sunday responsibly.
That's right. Miami is an event town.

I can't speak to what the crowd's going to look like against Bethune, but I can speak with authority if it's going to look like Sunday.

It's going to look like 2017. Is that a happen-to-know? Hold on a minute.
You can speak with authority. That's a different category.
There's a happen-to-know. I don't know what the category is.

What's the hierarchy with you on when you're saying a thing that would be the equivalent of, on my life, I will take away this draft party.

On my granddaughter's life, I will take away that draft party.

Did he host the draft party? Oh, yeah, it it happened. Okay, great.
And Gracelyn's fine. She's good.
All right, perfect. Yeah, I know the tickets that have been sold for this.
Oh, my God, he knows.

He happens to know.

Come, everyone. Come and listen.

He happens to know. Do we have an issue? Well informed.
Do I have an issue with the

gates opening? You know, there's certain the green lot opens up five hours before,

the regular lots open four hours before. However, historically, the athletic department does put in a call occasionally for for the really big games and asks for an earlier day.

You got to do early, yeah. This is a challenge to Dan Redikovich and the Miami athletic department to really put the pressure on Hard Rock Stadium and let's open those gates over there.

I need to be there first thing in the morning. Wow.
I need to stumble out of Las Rosas and straight to Hard Rock Stadium. How about Hummer just drive through a gate, let everybody in.

Exactly right now. Now you're getting the right ideas.
He's not doing that. Responsibly.
Yeah, drive through the gate responsibly. I want, okay, I want to get back to Tony's bad math.

I can't do it right now because he had a Miami party starting with

one in ten people getting a single beer.

One tailgate had 8,000 beers. You weren't doing the math.

I'll get back to it.

And

I will get to the Suey Award in a second as well. But before I do that, Big Mac, it's been a while since we heard from Big Mac, who is handling things in our carport.

He is somebody that Chris hasn't done a lot of new imaging, okay? Some of it you just heard, happen to know. Oh my God, he knew.

and this and this is some of his other new imaging so we're getting uh big mac's thoughts on uh notre dame um

big max take of the day

I like Miami by

touchdown because they look good and kind of Miami remember the last time they played how Nasty

17.

You already know. Big Max take of the day.

I do already know.

It's good.

A touchdown, Dan.

Did you ask him about the weather, though? Did he know what the forecast was? Does that change any of the matters? It doesn't matter. You ask him about the forecast.
Who cares?

I let him paint his product. Bill Kamal over here.
What about the weather?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. He could have gone anyone else.
Anyone else. Anyone else.
Did Don No?

What happened to him?

No, he didn't. Don No.
Bob Soper? He didn't know. He didn't know when he took out Kamal.
Oh, my God. He doesn't know.

Ray Norcross over here. Now people are going to be Googling Bill Kamal.
No, you don't. I have to Google it.
Well, I'm not going to lie. I'm curious.

No, don't. No.
It's the one.

He was a weatherman. You guys are making this something that wasn't meant to be.
It was the one. No, it was the one name you couldn't choose.
The one in the history of South Florida weather.

And I think you did it purposely. I think you did know.
I think you did happen to know. Why would I do that on purpose? Because of your you.
No, Billy would be risk averse there. Yeah.

Oh, wow. I just

chat GPT. No, no, no, no, no, no.

The World Cup is coming back to North America for the first time since 94. 48 teams, these giant stadiums, the whole continent turning into one massive party.
I cannot wait.

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Hey, Amin here, and the NBA on Prime is back tomorrow with another great doubleheader.

The action starts with one of the best rivalries in sports as Luka Doncic and the Los Angeles Lakers face Jalen Brown and the Boston Celtics.

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The Lakers and Celtics, the Mavericks and Thunder. Coverage starts tomorrow at 6.30 p.m.
Eastern only on Prime. Restrictions apply.
See amazon.com slash Amazon Prime for details. Don Lebatard.

Lou Holt, number one.

Tripping my balls off.

I can't give me a bad. Play a little touch upgrade.

You cannot give me enough fake Lou Holt saying any numbers. Tripping my balls off.

You can't give me enough. Stugats.
Jewel on the microphone.

I'm not sure what you're doing.

This is the Don Levatar Show with the Stugats.

Before I get to the Sue Awards, Chris, this category here tends to be our best every year. So how are we feeling about this assortment of best mistakes, worst mistakes that we have?

It's where we shine, I'd say, at making mistakes. Okay, like I'm in here, you're in here, Tony's got a doozy, Amin's got a doozy.

All right, let's see what we have here. Let's see what doozy is the worst and the best of the worst, best doozies.
The final day of the 2025 SUI Awards is presented by Miller Light.

Cast your vote at LebatardAF.com. Winners will be announced this upcoming Tuesday, September 2nd.

and now the SUI nominees for worst mistake. Chris Cody screws up the name Maury Povich.
Marvy Povich. You want you to do it? Don't tell me the dark

must be so confused right now. Double Dutch.

Double Dutch. I'm going to take

a look at him.

I'm going to take my two. Marvy Povich.
The Minerva got me. Marvy Povich.
I'm a nervous. Dan Lebetard thinks a penguin is a fish.
At Lebetard's show. To you, what is a penguin more of?

A fish fish or a bird? I just want to see what comes back. I just want to see what comes back.
It's got wings. No feathers.
You got no feathers to put in your cap off a penguin.

What are you talking about? Every penguin does not. It's all covered in feathers.
Yeah.

Is this a thing?

People confuse penguins with fish. This is not a thing.
I don't think it's a thing. I think I'm the only one who does it.

They have feathers. I think of them as sleek.
I've never seen a penguin feather away from the penguin.

That's not something that I've seen. Is it a hotter of fish? Fuck it.
Do you want to watch March of the Penguins? I mean, they're in snow. That's also why there's moisture on them.

I learned a lot during March of the Penguins. Did you learn that they were birds? Philadelphia Mayor Sherelle Parker botches the Eagles chant.
Let me hear you all say E-L-G-L-E-S Eagles.

Let's go, birds. Rose tries to name hockey players on the hockey show.
Okay, Ned Gretzky.

Ned Gretzky? No, not Ned Gretzky. Gretzky is a player.
Gretzky is a player. I thought it was current players, but...

David McDavid. No.
Mac McDavid. No, no, it's Connor McDavid.
Connor McDavid. Chris Cody tries to say, people.

If being mean on the internet was a sport, I'd want to watch it. And if I was going to watch it, I would use game time to get tickets to go

watch people be mean on the internet.

Watch what on the internet?

Must be nice to be perfect. We're there.
Jonathan Zaslow tries to say neutralized. They knew Trava was Zabanajad.

I don't remember that. That is how it happened.
That is the word in that.

That's not Doug.

That is how you said.

That is how you said neutralized. Let's hear that again.
They knew Trava was Zabanajad. Dan Levittard misses up Larsa Pippin's name.
And this is funny to think about.

Maybe we should get Pablo on here because he's been accused by Marcus Jordan and Larsa Pissen. Pippin, excuse me.

Carry on. Play on for me.

Greg Cody doesn't know how baseball works. It's a knee-high fastball.
The cut is four and one. I guess it is Eric Reed.
Four and one.

Four and one. Whatever.
You walked him. Yeah, it's a ball.

You know, he put his own spin on.

Dan Lebatard screws up a Beastie Boys song. Looking like one of the parents from the Beastie Boys party for your right to Fight, what is it? Fight for Yight to Fight.
Party?

Wow. Nailed it, Dana.

No fine, though.

That is a fine. The Beastie Boys Party for Your Right to Fight.
What is it? Taylor, you are a fly girl. The Beastie Boys Party for Your Right to Fight.
What is it?

Greg Cody couldn't be more wrong about ampersands in TV show titles. Law and Order SVU, I think, would be the most famous of the colons.
That show's been on me for an eternity.

Yeah, and I hate that that every time I see it. And there's so many iterations of that that colons are all over the universe now.
There's never been a TV show with an ampersand. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Long.

Why would you say ampersand? I'm sure. Wait a minute.

I thought that was the word ampersand. No, no, no, no, no.
No, it's kind of ampersand. There's a lot of ampersand.
Why did you say there's never been a show with it?

John Skipper says he knows NBA players while mispronouncing every name on sporting class. If you take the NBA All-Stars and march them in this office one by one, I know who every one of them is.

It doesn't matter. Jokic, Donic,

Victor Bumbiana. They're all international players.
It's like an 85%. I don't think you get one name right.
55% pronunciation on that.

Well, I may not have gotten the pronunciation of the spelling right.

Wimbayana. Wimbayana, I got that right.
Wimbinyama. Very close.
Very close. Chris Cody screws up an ad read.
Thanks, Poppy.

This Stat of the Day brought to you by Evan Williams Bourbon, Game Day's number one poor. Evan Williams Bourbon, straight Kentucky Burby.
Oh, my God.

Evan Williams, Kentucky, straight bourbon.

Barnstown, Kentucky.

No, you are doing so well. I've been such a good Burby.

Greg Cody interrupts Diana Rossini. Diana, I used to be a George Kittle guy until I saw him go at you, and now I'm very confused.
Thank you, Mike Ryan.

Yes, I reported yesterday that George Kittle wants to be the highest-paid tight end in football, which

I think that's fair. I think I get it.
I think we all get that right now. Oh, I understand.

Diana, how are you doing? She was talking. You were being talked to privately there, Greg.
She was, and Mike Ryan wasn't talking on air there. All that happened was you cut her off.

That's all that happened in the middle of the answer. You're confused by the show that we're doing.

Wait, so, Mike, would you let me know? I would love to hear your answer. I'm sorry, Greg.
We all would, actually, except for Greg. Dan Lebetard screws up Lamar Jackson's name.

Who's under more pressure this weekend? Josh Allen or Lamar Jacket?

Running back 2K. Yo, that's crazy.
Greg Cody has a dog inside of him. The pill has not been FDA approved, but it is lengthening the lives of pets.

I actually took that pill myself because I got a dog in me.

That dog. Well, if you.

It would have been so good if you nailed it.

You have a dog in you?

Very important. You have a dog inside of you.

Chris Cody tries to name a famous Lou. I know so many black Louis.
That's true. We didn't have to like Lou Armstrong is up there.

There's so many famous Louis. Who's the most famous Lou?

I mean, Louis Armstrong is up there. Lou Bacharak.
He's up there. I mean,

every black mechanic I've ever went to is named Lou. Farrakhan?

Who's Lou Bacharak? I'm telling you. Lou Beckroke? Maybe.
That's Rick. You done the car dealership? I know know Burt Bacharak.
Look at me.

Did you just make Burt Bacharak a Lou Bacharak?

And everyone was like, yeah, I guess. The creator of the card game.
That guy.

You made a guy named Lou Bacharak the most famous of Lou's. Stu Guts calls Hank Azaria Frank.
Yo, Stu Guts. How are you, Hank? I'm good.
I'm good. How you doing? I'm doing good.

We were discussing the Bruce Springsteen cover band that you put together, and I'm wondering whose idea, like, how did that come to fruition here, Frank? Frank, Frank,

Frank, that's great. I'm going to call you Frank for the rest of the time.

He does look like a Frank.

Well, Shroom Gotts,

Juju Gotti calls Jonathan Zaszlo Andrew. I'm so happy to see we got a celebrity in the building today, one of the most popular celebrities, Andrew Zaszlo.
Oh, my God.

Whoa.

That's why Andrew's atop that celebrity pick'em board.

You dig it. My bad.

His close friends call him Andrew. I call him, y'all call him Jonathan.
Dan Lebatart can't say subliminally. I don't know what the heat are going to sneak in there.

Subliminally. Good job.
Digestible. God damn it.
I think

Heat fans want.

Greg Cody doesn't know Hollywood Brown. You got to earn the nickname Hollywood, by the way.
Come on. What's he done to earn that nickname? He was born in Hollywood.
He's from Hollywood, Florida.

From Hollywood Florida. All right.
Dispensation.

Go 954. Greg Cody lived in Hollywood, Florida.

Hollywood Cody. That's where I was born.
1940. Pebble Drive.
Hollywood Cody.

Yeah. Dan Lebetard needs to restart the show.
Stop that.

Stop that.

Juju, put it on the poll, please. Does the DND

DNC, yeah, DNP?

What happened there? Oh, my God. Juju, verbatim.
Every single word. Oh, my God.
Should we start over?

Can we start over? Let's start again. Tim Kirchin thought you could milk a male cow.
I'd milked one cow in my entire life. It was a disaster at Ferguson Farm when my daughter was in the fifth grade.

And I said, he, meaning the cow, was not interested in giving up a lot of milk. He, to which Buster started to scream at me, guy grew up on a dairy farm.

I didn't even know that it was only the females that give milk. Did you guys know that? I did.

Of course, we did.

Male cows are bulls.

No.

Give me the cow in a moment.

I didn't know that. The crew messes with Greg Cody about the noise from his computer.
Playing the old. That's Greg Cody.
No, it isn't.

I saw you reach. I know it is.
It is. It's got to be.

You hit your computer there. Vet me.
If it's me, I will give you a $100 bill right now. All right, Mike.
This is an AOL email, just for the record.

Oh, of course!

Of course!

No! So obvious! Of course!

So I'm talking about it! That's impossible. What I'm talking about! It's the cord right here.

It's loose.

So I'm talking about. How does that make that noise? Oh, there you go.
Wow.

Wow. No.
Drag. No, somebody else is doing that shit.
Drag. No, now this is gaslighting.
What? How can they possibly do it in there? I don't know. Let me do it one more time.

So gaslighting, very unprofessional.

I didn't touch it.

Damn it. And you saw that.

Dan Lebatard runs out of words to say. I can tell by looking at the teeth, that's a tiger shot.
Okay, look at this killing machine.

I've seen this video too because my algo is locked in on these mankillers. So what is this doing? Why is this doing this the way that it is doing it? Well, because he's being tormented.

Can you see how the guy is grabbing the thing's snout and he's trying to get the thing to bite? Chris Cody can't talk on Mystery Crate. Welcome back.
Mike Fuentes thinks

gas is fucking.

Why are you guys laughing? Can a man not speak?

Wow, I mean, just a little misspeak. Is that funny to you guys? I mean, welcome to the whole volume of Mystery Crate again.

Is this my fourth take doing this? Maybe.

Yeah.

Yeah. Chris Cody screws up asking Pablo Torrey a question.
Pablo, you and three other people. Your dream, my mouth, dream watering.
She drink living or dead.

Your dream

dream watering. She

Dream, get jit what?

Dan Lebatard's voice changes. This dude needs to shove this beefy five-layer burrito up his butt.
This is not the drink.

Yes, it has to happen. It has to happen.
That's not what's going to make

college football proof, certified, better than pro football. Well, I know it won't help it if he just decides to not do this.

The irony is that on Saturday night around 2 a.m., I had one of those burritos coming out of my ass.

Is that the irony?

I don't think you know what irony is. Also,

why did your voice

key sir a five-layer burrito? Because you haven't been eating.

What happened then? How do you not hear it yourself? How do you not hear it and go,

Dan Lebatard says Kenny Main's documentary is on FUBU. Okay, so five shooting days.
You poured your heart into this documentary. It is on FUBU, 8 p.m.
Eastern tonight.

Dan, you said the documentary airs on FUBU. That is a clothing line.

Fubo is a club. Oh, I'm sorry.
That's my bad.

That's a totally different dude. I love that dude on Shark Tank, though.
It's a great disseminator of sports content. It's also available through Roku and their other platforms.

After saying Joe Maurer isn't a first ballot Hall of Famer, Greg Cody learns he voted for him. I have confirmed that my dad did vote for Joe Maurer in 2023.

On the first ballot? Well, he got in on the first ballot, so it's the only ballot he's on. But let me show you ashamed of yourself.

Here's a a caveat no no no wait a minute just eat the l what's the caveat

i'll hear it i'll allow the hearing of it and and it's fine but but before he gets to the caveat can you just admit that you're wrong about your recollection yeah i was wrong

can you admit that you're wrong in having a hall of fame vote that you treat with so little regard that this is not an indictment of your memory, but it's an indictment in general of how it is that you do these things that you don't actually care whether someone's first ballot or not because you can't remember whether you voted someone first ballot or not.

I cherish my Hall of Fame vote enough to have kept it for a long time, unlike yourself, who was stripped of his vote for malfeasance. And in some cases, perhaps non-feasants.
For integrity, not wrong.

For integrity.

Okay, that's what they call it. Tomato potato.
David Sampson tries to say, croquetta. Would you offer someone

correta from a Jewish deli?

Croquetta? Croquetta? No, that's not how you said. Correcta.
That is not how you said croqueta. Andrew Hawkins tries to sound cool with Keenan Thompson.

My parents start with A's, and all of our kids start with A's. And then some of their kids also all start with A's, and they think our family is strange for that.
No, I just think y'all are dedicated.

That's all.

Y'all dedicated to the A. I'm dedicated to the A being from Atlanta, so I feel you.
Yeah, we both

two up, two down, piece up, two down. Is that what it is? Oh, you're from Ohio, man.
A-tailed hole, man. My bad.
I'm still learning. Two up, two down.
All right,

I got a question.

Tony Kalatiud calls Dominique Foxworth a mean. He's avoiding the balls.
Dominique is avoiding the Matzo balls, which is the best part. That's the best part of the soup.
How's the soup amine?

You're not going to. I mean,

do you just call him a mean? Yeah, what? He's an I mean.

Exactly. Thank you.
The soup? He's also in our Panther chat. The soup itself? That was for sure an amend.
It was not an amine. It was I mean.
I need a replay. I'm on our final league.

Stumbling. How's the soup amine? You're not going to be afraid.
You want a pin when you're wrong? It's okay with me, though. How's the soup amine? You're not.
Why would you throw it

not yet?

How's the soup amendment you're not? How's the soup? I mean, this is a safe space for admitting when you made a mistake. How's the soup amend? You're not going to be.
That's crazy.

I've tried to have you back dog. Amin El Hessen tries to say, not my first rodeo.

Of all the players in the NBA who have had to guard Steph Curry this year, I think Thompson has done perhaps the best job.

He's just exact in terms of size, in terms of defense and IQ and all that stuff.

But first time at the rodeo, and you know what happens at the first time at the rodeo, Stugats, the bull rides the horns or some shit like that. I nailed that.
That's what happened.

How is that a way to dismount on the segment? I've never been to a rodeo. Greg Cody thinks he watched Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point game that wasn't televised.

I'm the only one in this room who was alive at the time. Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point game.
I was seven years old. You don't remember that.

In Hollywood, Florida at 1440, watching on a black and white Sylvania television set. This is a great, this is a great story here.

Because nobody believes that game happened.

It's a 100-point game, and it did happen. I thought it was famously not televised.
I don't think we have seen video proof of him scoring the 100, have we?

Yeah, it was he held up a sign after the game. No, but that's not the same.
That's all. There's a Mandela effect going on.

Jessica. There's no way.
Jessica, I think. You think that's a conspiracy theory? I think it wasn't televised.
I don't think there's a lot of video of that game.

I think there's just like one grainy photograph or something. I'm just telling you, I watched it on TV.

I don't trust you. You couldn't have watched it on TV.

According to the Library of Congress, the amazing performance wasn't televised, and there's no videotape of the game, only a Philadelphia radio station broadcast. You're full of it.

You're just making that up.

Maybe it's a figment of my imagination.

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