Local Hour: Worst Mistake

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Shadow show.

Shadow show.

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Shadow show.

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Shadow show.

Shadow show.

Shadowing it.

Shadowing it.

Am I going to ruin the vibes on Friday?

I'm a little worried about.

You have already.

it's a solid six months.

Where's Hawkins?

I already ruined it.

I just said a sentence.

Not gonna lie.

Yesterday he made a whole big thing.

And guess what?

For football season, I'm here every Friday.

What?

Thinking that that was going to be like well received.

The audience I think likes it.

We like ball here on Fridays.

Yeah.

We don't want if you say dirty at all this show, I'm going to wring your neck.

Oh.

Oh, wow.

The ringing of the neck.

Well, I already threatened to kill ESPN.

But, okay, first of all, ringing of the neck, that is, you're going to hang me?

Like, is that the ringing of the.

No, man.

What are you talking about?

Here you go.

It's like Homer Simpson to Bart.

Vibe check, how's it going over there, Tom?

Not good.

If you ring someone's neck,

so this is the only time

you're like squeezing out a cloth that has water in it?

The ringing of a cloth, that's the verb.

But your neck.

But your neck.

So that's what you're going to do to my neck.

You're going to grab it like

a wet towel and you're going to squeeze it.

I've not seen what Homer Simpson does to Bart.

Going to be a long season.

Until the juices come out of my every aura.

The first question was: Are you going to hang me?

No.

If I were going to hang you, I'd say I'd hang you.

Need a heavy rope.

You are getting very comfortable with body-shaming people.

I mean, what you did to Zaslow yesterday

when

you're just burying him for the amount that

he is eating.

Why are you so comfortable with this?

I am never comfortable.

That was not Chris.

That was you.

You really got to be.

That was you.

No.

It was not Chris.

Stop calling people fat Chris.

It was absolutely not me.

It was Chris Cody who went right.

I said that I could still smell the breakfast off Zaz when he sang in my ear.

That's what I said an hour later.

That's me starting it?

That I could still smell the breakfast coming off of his singing voice that was still sticking to me.

That's me starting.

We're not going to get to Micah Parsons.

No, no.

Today, you want to get to that?

Billy, I don't have confidence in what Greg Cody is about to try here.

Yeah, but go on.

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this is the dan Labatar Show with the Stu Gats podcast.

Do you think he's gonna pull it up?

It's time to put on a suit and roll out the carpet,

rank up the tube and gather nail.

It's the best time of the year,

So keep your dial right here.

It's me and you and me again at the Sue's

The greatest of life's mistakes and best revelations

brought to you by the greatest beer

It's the best time of the year.

So keep your dial right here.

It's me and you and me again,

the South.

And every day you're gonna go to a website

to vote on the sounds that brought you cheer.

Cause it's the best time of the the year.

So keep your dial right here.

It's me

and you.

It's me again and it's you.

It's me and you and me again

at the suit.

That kind of thing.

Why do we have to run everything into the the ground?

We can't stop

short of making the joke something that bothers everybody.

Why are you still sitting here?

You're staying there?

I thought you were off today.

Wasn't he off today?

He was off today.

This is the new Fridays, Dan?

This day's on.

This fits for me.

Dan and Jeremy Fridays.

I see this.

Come out of here.

I've been trying to get to a Marlin story with Jeremy all week.

I'm not going to do it the day after Micah Parsons gets traded.

Get out of here.

All right.

Love you too.

Thank you for coming in on your off day to feed your

feed your inner theater.

Keep it out right here.

Taché and Labatard, French Fridays.

Yes.

But for Dan, French Fridays.

French Fridays.

Côte.

That's good.

I like French Fridays.

French fries are good.

It's not.

It's not as good.

Maybe the name, but the product, I don't know.

No, that's the problem.

Yes, it's all in a name.

You're correct.

The product itself would not be good.

A handful of things to say about something that you just hardly ever see.

That player, Micah Parsons, does not get traded at that age.

I know he's not LeBron James, but one of the reasons the LeBron James trade was such a giant story is because that player does not get traded at that age in sports.

It's why the Luca

thing

is such a big story because nothing you get back in that trade, nothing you ever get back in that trade is going to be as good as what you already have.

That thing is so valuable.

The pass rush is so valuable and he's better at it than anybody.

Miles Garrett, to my eye, is better, but by the metrics, Micah Parsons is better at getting at the quarterback with pressure than anybody in the league.

He's LT-ish in the way that he can get to the quarterback.

And you just don't get to say that about anybody.

So that player never gets traded.

But I believe everybody's sort of missing why this trade was made as we're talking about Jerry Jones's senility and we're talking about whether he got along with his agent and a bunch of other things that aren't what I thought this was about.

And it's not about Jerry Jones wanting attention.

The two biggest reasons this happened, and I don't know which one you guys would choose from among these two reasons, but I believe these are the two biggest reasons.

One is

the two teams in your division at quarterback are younger and better and are going to be younger and better for the next 10 years.

One of them because they have a quarterback who can do it without a lot of help, the other one because he's got so much help around him that they're both going to keep showing that Dak Prescott was drafted where he was for a reason.

So that's reason number one.

Reason number two is this, and I don't think anybody's talking about this particular thing here.

Tony, can you get for me, please, the game logs from last year for the Dallas Cowboys and what they did at home and the point totals they allowed at home when it wasn't Schottenheimer rebuilding, it was Mike McCarthy, we're win now off of 12 wins.

At home, give me the point total scores and the result of all the home games Dallas played last year because I don't know if you guys remember, I don't know what you'd say off the top of your head, was the single most stunning result for you last season, but I do remember Saints going into Dallas and putting up 40-something points to beat Dallas was among the most, the largest surprises I saw last year.

That was week two.

That was the home opener for Dallas, and they got beat 44-19 to a Saints team that everybody's like, okay, I guess they're decent.

And the bottom fell out for the Saints.

A little bit of context for Dallas's season last year.

Eight games with Dak.

He got hurt with a hamstring.

He was out.

Within those home games, they went two and six.

They had a two-point win and a seven-point win.

Those are the only wins they had all season.

So,

point totals they gave up: 44 to New Orleans, 28 to Baltimore 47 to Detroit

34 to Philadelphia that was the first game without without Dak Prescott Cooper rushed through for 45 yards total

in the entire game

they get they gave up 34 to Houston 27 excuse me 20 and a win to New York they gave up 27 to Cincinnati they gave up 26 or 24 and a win to Tampa Bay and they gave up 23 in a loss to Washington

and

those numbers, when you see what the Dallas defense was doing when Micah was out there, when he wasn't out there, those numbers aren't going to make up what is your architectural gap.

Before we get to the meat of this, though, you guys have seen some of the large numbers that are being thrown around on metrics by Bill Barnwell and others, right?

I mean, because I can simplify this for you.

Bill, I can give you a whole bunch of data that says dig deep on all the advanced metrics and the way these people make measurements, or I can just tell you that Bill Barnwell says that mathematically when Micah Parsons is on the field, they are per play the best defense in the league, and when he's not, they're the worst.

Like that like he can do I it's an obvious oversimplification, but he can do it with the numbers to show you something that's appalling.

If Jerry Jones is right now celebrating what has been 30 years of failure for that franchise in a Netflix documentary, and the starting point on that celebration and all of the division between him and Jimmy Johnson is they cannot agree who's responsible for the Herschel Walker trade that brought back the draft picks when they had the genius idea of we're not good enough, so let's trade our best player because we're not good enough.

Because they're just doing the same thing here.

They're trading their most valuable asset.

Because the way to close the gap between Philadelphia and Washington in this a rebuilding year for the Cowboys is

to use those draft picks and try to close the gap.

Micah Parsons wasn't going to, this is the way that Micah Parsons helps you most the next two seasons if you're the Dallas Cowboys, because they're not actually close.

They were really terrible against the run.

They were 29th against the run.

And in that division, when you play the Eagles twice and a mobile quarterback and Jaden Daniels twice,

Jerry Jones spoke to this.

That's why they got Kenny Clark and two first-round draft picks.

I'm shocked that Jerry Jones made this deal, but also he did pretty well because Kenny Clark does help where they're weakest.

And Jerry Jones already said, like, everyone assumes we're going to keep these draft picks.

We can use these draft picks to add to our team.

This is Jerry Jones' spin on it.

Run defense.

You're not stopping Philadelphia from running the ball with or without Micah Parsons.

They run the ball.

It's why they're champions.

They run it against everybody.

It's why Jalen Hurts looks the way he does.

You're right, though, that the problems with what it is that I just said for the Cowboys is it's not just that Philadelphia and Washington are better than you, obviously.

It's the way they're better.

They're younger and more stable at quarterback.

They have a future that doesn't have defenses that allow those point totals.

Guys, those were the home games.

Your defense, 44, 28, 47, 34, 34, 27.

I don't care who your quarterback is.

That didn't happen to Pittsburgh when they don't get the quarterback playing.

Those numbers at home.

I understand Micah Parsons didn't play in some of the games, but that's the problem.

Like, Dak Prescott can't correct that, nor can run defense, by the way.

Like, okay, fine.

Micah Parsons, you just, the way that you try to neutralize it is you run right him instead of trying to

pass around him.

And I think a couple of years ago, there was a bit of a mask on the Dallas defense because they created so many turnovers that that masked some of the inefficiencies that they were having on corner safety and defensive line.

That it was like, oh, Dallas' defense is actually really good.

And then the bottom fell out again for the last few years.

But let me be clear on what

we just saw yesterday, because I'm not allowed to act unsurprised by this.

We've been talking for weeks about, oh, Jerry likes the noise of this, and then he caves at the end.

He always does that.

Mike is not going anywhere.

In the stunning of what happened yesterday, because Jerry Jones has to correct all of this.

One, you just traded away someone that I can absolutely make the argument is the best defensive player you've ever had.

I can make that argument now, rest of his career unseen.

I can also make this argument, and this is the problem that Jerry Jones has as he refuses stubbornly and arrogantly to let go of some of the reins on his league, as if his family is special about creating football teams.

If I said to you right now, I'm going to give any NFL executive that you ever have thought of, incompetent or otherwise, whoever it is, Urban Meyer,

whoever it is, I'm going to give you 30 years in that job.

Am I getting more or fewer than two playoff wins?

Yeah, that's a good point.

I understand it.

That being said, I don't think he did poorly here.

If he has to give up

a generational player, he did poorly.

No, getting Micah Parsons is the hard part.

Being so incompetent that you have to trade him because you haven't built well enough around him is the problem.

He didn't have to trade him.

They could have paid him.

And Micah Parsons' statement was hilarious.

I didn't make any demands.

Brother, that's how this whole thing started.

You made a very strong demand.

It wasn't a request.

You have to trade him if everything else I just said is true.

You have to trade him because you're not going to make up the gap with him because look at how bad you were with him.

I'm not going to pretend like I know what is going to happen in that division.

Historically, people go from bottom to top a ton.

Oh, but that defense can get better and the dolphins can get better without making it the right decision.

They're not going to win the championship this year.

They're in play.

The standard there is every year we play for the championship.

they may get better they they might like i really think their defense can't be worse like worse than that you cannot be

so they get better they win 10 games and what jaden daniels is still in your division now maybe jaden daniels gets hurt But the Eagles are still in your division.

And what I was beginning to say about the problem that they have is it's not just that it's Philadelphia and Washington in your division.

It's the way those teams play and they're built.

Like, it's not, they're going to beat you this season and they're going to beat you next season, whether Micah Parsons is there or not, because I don't trust Dak Prescott to be better than what it is that they have now, both those teams, in stability at their quarterback.

And you don't either.

Like, none of you listening to this, if I just make it, hey, the draft evaluations were right,

skill sets, Jalen Hurts.

And Jaden Daniels have skill sets that Dak Prescott does not have made by the measurements that they do at the draft by these scientists, who, if I gave any of them 30 years, would win more than two playoff games.

Assessing talent.

Any of them.

Mike Tannenbaum.

I give him 30 years.

Mike Tannenbaum may have won more playoff games than Jerry Jones in the last 30 years.

Consecutive years.

He made it to AFC Championship games.

You got to win more than 10.

And is it two playoff wins?

I don't even know.

Is it one?

Like, how many playoff games have the?

It might be one.

I think they, Romo beat Minnesota one time.

Yeah.

Jack has won.

They beat the Lions.

Did they beat the Lions in a playoff game?

Whatever the playoff number is,

I don't think we'd know them since there were so few.

Give me the person, the human being that you were to say is the worst football executive in the history of the league.

Chris Greer.

No.

Joe Banner was pretty bad in Cleveland.

Just Holmgren was pretty bad in Cleveland.

Pretty much everybody's been pretty bad in Cleveland except for Andrew Berry, and then he gave out the worst contract ever.

At Lebetard show, if I put the worst executive in the history of football in charge for 30 years, would he win more than two playoff games?

Yes or no?

They have four wins since 2009 in the playoffs and three since 2014, 2014.

Wait a minute, what?

They have three wins in the playoffs since 2014.

In 2014, they beat the Lions.

In 2018, they beat the Seahawks.

And in 2022, Dak beat the Bucs.

On the wildcard round.

Yeah, I forgot that Seahawks won.

So they've won three playoff games?

I don't think Dak's been there in Ed 14, so Dak, I think, has won two.

They've never gotten out of the divisional round.

That's crazy.

They're living off of 30 years ago, and Billy's worried about Jerry Jones, like concerned about him.

He came in here concerned for Jerry Jones.

Well, did you see the press conference yesterday of Jerry Jones when he was talking about the trade?

I saw that it was 42 minutes.

Well, Jerry, who likes to get out there in front of everyone to kind of show his face and say this is why we did what we did, was struggling a bit in the press conference where he continuously was calling Micah Michael.

And then Stephen Jones had to then come in and say it's Micah.

And then Jerry Jones later on would just continue to say Michael.

And then at some point he would correct himself and say Micah.

Michael, no, Micah, Micah.

But there was an issue where, you know, we're kind of confusing the player a little bit.

He's been calling him Michael for years.

Yeah.

I think he genuinely thinks his name is Michael the way that you think it's Jordan.

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Hey listeners, it's Mike.

Hey, Billy Gill.

Hey.

Hey, Billy, as a proud member of your inner circle, remember when we were hanging out last weekend?

Oh, yeah, fishtail palms.

The fishtail palms, the great memories we made, kids playing in the pool, and in our hands, a nice ice-cold can of Miller Life.

It was so hot out.

I know, but it was so cold in my hand.

We took that first sip.

It was crisp.

It was refreshing.

Oh, man, there is nothing like cracking open a Miller Light with your crew and your inner circle bones.

Hell yeah.

We fist-bumped.

Whether it's, we actually really did.

Whether it's that touchdown.

It didn't make a sound, but it just thought.

Bam!

Boom.

Whether it's that touchdown you didn't see coming or just arguing about fantasy lineups, you and I did plenty of that.

Miller Light has been the taste that you can depend on for 50 years.

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And here's a kicker, Billy.

What?

It's just 96 calories.

What?

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The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later.

Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

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It's Miller time.

Celebrate responsibly.

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Don Lebatard.

I read his lips and it sounded like he was saying, what?

You want to fight me now?

Spoke.

But I'm telling you, if you look, we can play a game right now.

The lips look the same on fight you and failure.

Watch my lips.

I'm going to turn off my mic.

No, I got to go.

Just look at your joints.

I'm going to sip one of these two episodes.

And I want you guys to tell me if I'm saying fight you or failure.

Okay?

Yeah, yeah.

Stugats.

Why are your ideas always so bad for the podcast?

Swings, grace.

Here we go.

Do it again.

Fight you.

Fight you.

Maybe you can't tell.

Oh, my God.

We got to the bottom of it.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

At the beginning of the Cowboys documentary, Paul Tagley Boo introduced the Dallas Cowboys first-round pick, Mitchell Irvin,

wide receiver out of the University of Miami, Mitchell Irvin.

Some folks are just bad with names.

I have a clip of him calling him Michael Parson.

Ooh, the double of getting the first name wrong and eliminating or adding an S.

That happened to me as soon as I got to 50.

They gave it to me as a gift on my 50th birthday, those two things.

Of all the players that I've ever negotiated with,

Michael Parson is as savvy and knowledgeable and understanding of his financial business relative to football as any player I've ever been around.

Yeah, Michael Parson.

He just traded Michael Parson.

Michael Parson.

I'm sure.

I'm sure.

Michael Parson is a kicker, right?

It's a good call for Michael Parson.

Michael Parson is a kicker.

Imagine if he was

right and he had someone named Michael Parson who was just like, you know, like a scout team player or whatever.

And, you know, the Packers are like, I don't think Jerry knows what he's doing.

He's telling us he's trading us Michael Parson.

Michael Parsons first for Michael Parson.

And all of a sudden, they have the introductory price card.

I was like, who the hell is that guy?

He's like, I'm Michael Parson.

Put it on the poll.

Michael Parson.

Put it on the poll, Plays at Labatard show.

Is Michael Parson the name of a kicker?

Yes or no?

Michael Parson.

It's a totally different player.

Michael Parson.

No one fears Michael Parson.

Michael Parson could put up exactly the same stat line as Micah Parsons and would be lightly regarded.

Michael Parson.

I've got him working in insurance, Mr.

Parson.

Just generally in insurance?

Yeah.

Middle management?

Like, what is he doing?

Or is he selling stuff door to door?

Not happy.

He's not happy.

Whatever it is, Danny's not happy about it.

Well, he's not happy.

It's not inspiring work that Michael Parson does when he goes to the bank.

Like you drive by and it's like a state farm and it says Michael Parson.

Michael Parson.

The weather for Miami, Dame is going to be scary.

It's going to be wet and a lot of thunder and lightning is being projected.

That's the forecast.

Now, forecast can change, but

I genuinely don't know who that helps.

If we're judging off a blast here, I mean, it would be easy to say this helps.

Jeremiah Love would probably run for 300 yards against Miami, but they did reshape their defense.

And if the weather is bad, you'd think that means it's a trenches game.

And the reputation is Notre Dame always has a good offensive line.

But I would say that Miami is actually girthier, bigger, more athletic on the outside, especially on the edge.

That defensive line actually plays to a strength of Miami, you would think, just by body types.

And the offensive line, as we know, is certainly a strength for Miami.

Do you guys like these kinds of games?

Because I like the elements to not be involved at all.

I don't want snow.

I want offense, and I want speed to be unencumbered.

I don't want the rain, even though I could see how it might help Miami, just because I think Miami's true advantage come Sunday night will be that crowd with a holiday the very next

thing unhinged.

I don't want it thunderstorming on that crowd.

Okay, well, yeah, I don't think, I do not believe that Miami,

the city in its history,

has

the level of discomfort required when you go out to stay in that stadium full and loud if it is raining the entire time.

Like if you stay in the...

It's covered now.

Like

the seats are covered and that will help a large chunk.

I think like close to 85% of the seats will be covered.

A small percentage of the lower level will get wet.

Yeah, but and but this you want people working up a lather

throughout the day.

And if the weather is bad, I don't know how crazy people can get.

But yeah,

it's tough to say.

Look, the quarterback hasn't played for Notre Dame.

This is hard.

We know that they were a good team last year.

We know that they have a good secondary.

We know that their running back is really good.

We know that they added to wide receiver core that's certainly thought of as better than Miami's.

I don't really know where the

where this game will play out if the weather does indeed impact it.

I'm just going to stick to my guns and say we're going to rip their freaking heads off.

Wow.

Miami hurricanes or are you the Miami sugar cubes that melt with water?

Like, what's going on here?

Embrace this weather.

Say, you know what?

I want this bad weather.

I want Notre Dame to come in here and be uncomfortable.

What are we, what are you, it's going to rain so you can't go to the game?

This is crazy.

You guys believe that a crowd that I immerse before the game in two hours of rain so you cannot tailgate, that is milling about indoors before the game to stay out of the weather, you guys believe that we as a city, just general temperament of the human beings who go to football games around here, you think we have 80,000 strong of noise for a Sunday night game that won't embarrass Miami if the rain is so bad that it makes it so that nobody who's listening to this, inside or outside of Miami, would want to go to a football game.

Like, I'm not even, you understand what we're headed, what we're possibly headed toward just because the weather is going to be shitty.

Dan, I don't think you understand this.

You've been on this side, on the on the glass side, on the on the high up side too long.

You don't think that there's 80,000 strong that are going to go out there?

Have you seen Only in Dade where there's a terrible rainstorm and there's people running in the streets, jumping into the water in the streets outside of club space?

Have you not seen that, Dan?

Imagine that times 80,000 with about 8,000 Miller lights, okay?

Unstoppable force meets immovable object.

Bam.

That's one Miller light.

It's not enough per person.

For every 10.

I'm saying 80,000

responsibly.

Thank you.

No, but that's too, that's too much.

That's not going to get people the excited thing you think it's going to be.

I'm trying to be nice with the sponsors, guys.

No, but you're better than you.

Responsible is one of those things.

I make jokes about this.

It's a cause-close.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And they are the proud Suey.

I'm not making fun.

He was nice with the sponsor.

Thank you.

He was not nice with the math.

The math math.

It's the math that's in the way.

What do you care about the math?

The math.

God, Bill Bardwell is hosting the show.

You're right.

You can talk to your math friends.

Who cares?

Math?

Schmath.

All right.

Get an ice-cold cooler, put some ice in it, throw some Miller lights, put some stuff on the grill.

Even if it rains, doesn't matter.

I saw today one of the crunchiest things I've ever seen coming into the studio where I didn't call the authorities, but I did think about calling because I was like, someone's going to get hurt.

Where I was driving past the airport, and there was a gentleman whose car was in the lane for like broken down cars, and he was in that lane.

And then I saw what I thought was him.

He very clearly was on, you know, live or he was FaceTiming someone or doing something, screaming at the top of his lungs.

And he's just showing off where he is, which is like you're on the 836 with the airport behind you and this just standstill traffic.

What are we, what's this flex, sir?

And he's screaming in Spanish, like, ah, like showing off where he was.

And then I think I saw him take a shot and then maybe start smoking a cigar.

And I was like, what?

What's going on here, sir?

It's like 7.45 in the morning.

What are we doing?

And then I was like, I think I should tell someone what's going on here.

But traffic wasn't moving.

Very crazy Friday for that guy so far today.

What he was doing is just Miami.

Parking in traffic.

Get back in that car, though.

Get back in that car and head to Hard Rock Stadium.

We're going to need to.

Get there by Sunday responsibly.

That's right.

Miami is an event town.

I can't speak to what the crowd's going to look like against Bethune, but I can speak with authority if it's going to look like Sunday.

It's going to look like 2017.

Is that a happen-to-know?

Hold on a minute.

You can speak with authority.

That's a different category.

There's a happen-to-know.

I don't know what the category is.

What's the hierarchy with you on when you're saying a thing that would be the equivalent of on my life, I will take away this draft party, on my granddaughter's life, I will take away that draft party.

Did he host the draft party?

Oh, yeah, it happened.

Okay, great, good.

And Gracelyn's fine.

She's good.

All right, perfect.

Yeah, I know the tickets that have been sold for this.

Oh, my God, he knows.

He happens to know.

Come, everyone.

Come and listen.

Happens to know.

He he happens to know

well informed do you have an issue with the uh

the gates opening you know there's certain the green lot opens up five hours before the the the regular lots open four hours before however historically the athletic department does put in a call occasionally for the really big games and asks for an earlier

yeah this is a challenge to dan retikovich and the the miami athletic department to really put the pressure on hard rock stadium and let's open those gates over there i need to be there first thing in the morning I need to stumble out of Las Rosas and straight down.

The Hard Rock Stadium.

How about Hummer?

Just drive through the gate, let everybody in.

Exactly right.

Now you're getting the right ideas.

Responsibly.

Yeah, drive through the gate responsibly.

I want, okay.

I want to get back to Tony's bad math.

I can't do it right now because he had a Miami party starting with

one in 10 people getting a single beer.

It was like one tailgate had 8,000 beers.

You weren't doing the math the way that you're doing it.

I'll get back to it.

And I will get to the SUI award in a second as well.

But before I do that, Big Mac, it's been a while since we heard from Big Mac, who is handling things in our carport.

He is somebody that Chris hasn't done a lot of new imaging, okay?

Some of it you just heard, happen to know.

Oh my god, he knew.

And this

is some of his other new imaging.

So we're getting Big Mac's thoughts on Notre Dame UM.

Big

take of the day.

I like Miami by

touchdown because they look good and

Miami remember the last time they played

17.

You already know.

Big Mac's take of the day.

I do already know.

It's good.

A touchdown, Dan.

Did you ask him about the weather, though?

Did he know what the forecast was?

Does that change any of the matters?

It doesn't matter.

You ask him about the forecast.

Who painted the forecast?

I let him paint his product.

Bill Kamal over here.

What about the weather?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

He could have gone anyone else.

Anyone else.

Anyone else?

Did Don know?

What happened there?

No, he didn't.

Don't Bob Soper.

He didn't know.

He didn't know when he took out Kamal.

Oh, my God.

He doesn't know.

Ray Norcrossover here.

Now people are going to be Googling Bill Kamal.

No, you don't.

I have to Google it.

I'm not going to lie.

I'm curious.

No, don't.

No.

It's the one.

He was a weatherman.

You guys are making this something that wasn't meant to be.

It was the one.

No, it was the one name you couldn't choose.

The one in the history of South Florida weather, and I think you did it purposely.

I think you did know.

I think you did happen to know.

Why would I do that on purpose?

Because of your you.

No, Billy would be risk averse there.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

I just used

it.

That's a company computer.

That is not.

Chat GPT.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I want to talk about home security for a minute.

For the longest time, I thought it was just alarms and sirens that once somebody breaks in, you deal with it.

But when you think about it, that's already too late.

That's reactive.

I had my car broken into on my property a while back.

The only thing I could do was call 911.

That's reactive.

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Visit simplysafe.com slash DLB to claim the offer.

That's simplysafe.com slash DLB.

There's no safe like SimplySafe.

Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan.

It's also NFL season.

Lots of big-time matchups.

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Don Lebatard.

Lou Holt, number one teleping my balls off.

I can't give me a little touch of gray.

You cannot give me enough fake Lou Holt saying any number.

Tripping my balls off.

You can't give me enough.

Stugats.

Jewel on the microphone.

I'm not sure what I'm saying.

I'm not going to be on a pacifier to avoid eating my own face.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Before I get to the SUI Awards, Chris, this category here tends to be our best every year.

So how are we feeling about this assortment of best mistakes, worst mistakes that we have?

It's where we shine, I'd say.

Making mistakes.

Okay, like I'm in here, you're in here.

Tony's got a doozy.

Amin's got a doozy.

All right, let's see what we have here.

Let's see what doozy is the worst and the best of the worst best doozies the final day of the 2025 sui awards is presented by miller light cast your vote at lebitardaf.com winners will be announced this upcoming tuesday september 2nd

and now the sui nominees for worst mistake chris cody screws up the name maury povich marvy you want you to do it don't tell me that

must be so confused right now.

Double dust.

I'm gonna take

my two.

Marvy Povich.

The Minerva got me.

Marvy Povich.

I'm minervis.

Dan Lebetard thinks a penguin is a fish.

At Lebetard's show.

To you, what is a penguin more of?

A fish or a bird?

I just want to see what comes back.

I just want to see what comes back.

It's got wings.

No feathers.

You got no feathers to put in your cap off a penguin.

What are you talking about?

Every penguin does not.

Is this a thing?

People confuse penguins with fish?

This is not a thing.

I don't think it's a thing.

I think I'm the only one who does it.

They have feathers.

I think of them as sleek.

I don't, I've never seen a penguin feather away from the penguin.

That's not something that I've seen.

I didn't clutter a fish.

Fuck it.

Do you want to watch March of the Penguins?

I mean, they're in snow.

That's also why there's moisture on them.

I learned a lot during March of the Penguins.

Did you learn that they were birds?

Philadelphia Mayor Sherelle Parker botches the Eagles chant.

Let me hear you all say E,

L, G,

L, E, S, Eagles.

Let's go, birds!

Rose tries to name hockey players on the hockey show.

Okay, Ned Gretzky.

Ned Gretzky?

No, not Ned Gretzky.

Gretzky is a player.

Gretzky is a player.

I know it's current players, but.

David McDavid.

No.

Mac McDavid.

No, no, it's Connor McDavid.

Connor McDavid.

Chris Cody tries to say people.

If being mean on the internet was a sport, I'd want to watch it.

And if I was going to watch it, I would use game time to get tickets to go watch people be mean on the internet.

Watch what on the internet?

It must be nice to be perfect.

We're there.

Jonathan Zaszlo tries to say neutralized.

They knew Trava was Zabanajad.

I don't remember that.

That is how it happened.

That is the worst in that.

That's not Doug.

That is how you

got the foreign.

That is how you said neutralized.

Let's hear that again.

They knew Trava was Sabanajat.

Dan Lebatard misses up Larsa Pippin's name.

And this is funny to think about.

Maybe we should get Pablo on here because he's been accused by Marcus Jordan and Larsa Pissen.

Pippin, excuse me.

Carry on.

Play on for me.

Greg Cody doesn't know how baseball works.

It's a knee-high fastball.

The cut is 4-1.

I guess it is Eric Reed.

4-1.

4-1.

Whatever.

You walked him.

Yeah, it's a ball.

You know, he put his own spin on.

Dan Lebatard screws up a Beastie Boys song.

Looking like one of the parents from the Beastie Boys Party for Your Right to Fight.

What is it?

Fight for Your Fight.

Party?

What party?

Wow.

Nailed it, Dana.

No fine, though.

That is a fine.

The Beastie Boys Party for Your Right to Fight.

What is it?

Taylor, you are a flygirl.

The Beastie Boys Party for Your Right to Fight.

What is it?

Greg Cody couldn't be more wrong about ampersands in TV show titles.

Law and Order SVU, I think, would be the most famous of the colons.

That show's been on me for an eternity.

Yeah, and I hate that every time I see it.

And there's so many iterations of that that colons are all over the universe now.

There's never been a TV show with an ampersand.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Law and Order.

Law and Order.

I'm sure

it's funny.

I thought that was the word answer.

No, no, no.

There's a lot of answers.

Why did you say there's never been a show with it?

John Skipper says he knows NBA players while mispronouncing every name on sporting class.

If you take the NBA All-Stars and march them in this office one by one, I know who every one of them is.

It doesn't matter.

Jokic, Donic,

Victor Bumbiana.

They're all international players.

I don't think you get one name right.

85% pronunciation on that.

Well, I may not have gotten the pronunciation or the spelling right.

Wimbayana.

Wimbayana, I got that right.

Wimbinyama.

Very close.

Very close.

Chris Cody screws up an ad read.

Thanks, Poppy.

This stat of the day brought to you by Evan Williams Bourbon, Game Day's number one poor.

Evan Williams Bourbon, straight Kentucky Burby.

Oh, my God.

Evan Williams, Kentucky, straight bourbon.

Hardstown, Kentucky.

Really?

Wow, you are doing so well.

I've been in such a good role.

wow, Chris.

Hey, let's do his company.

Greg Cody interrupts Diana Rossini.

Diana, I used to be a George Kittle guy until I saw him go at you, and now I'm very confused.

Thank you, Mike Ryan.

Yes, I reported yesterday that George Kittle wants to be the highest-paid tight end in football, which

I think that's fair.

I think I get it.

I think we all get that right now.

Oh, I understand.

Diana, how good?

You were being talked to privately there, Greg.

And Mike Ryan wasn't talking on air.

All that happened was you cut her off.

That's all that happened in the middle of the answer.

You're confused by the show that we're doing.

Wait, so Mike, would you let me know?

I would love to hear your answer.

I'm sorry, Greg.

We all would, actually, except for Greg.

Dan Lebatard screws up Lamar Jackson's name.

Who's under more pressure this weekend?

Josh Allen or Lamar Jacket?

Running back to the yo, that's crazy.

Greg Cody has a dog inside of him.

The pill has not been FDA approved, but it is lengthening the lives of pets.

I actually took that pill myself because I got a dog in me.

That dog.

Well, if you.

You got that dog in me.

It would have been so good if you nailed it.

You have a dog in you?

Very important.

You have a dog inside of you.

Chris Cody tries to name a famous Lou.

I know so many black Louis.

That's true.

We didn't have to like Lou Armstrong.

There's so many famous Louis.

Who's the most famous Lou?

I mean, Louis Armstrong is up there.

Lou Bacharak.

He's up there.

I mean,

every black mechanic I've ever went to is named Lou.

Farrakhan.

Who's Lou Bacharak?

I'm telling you.

Lou Beckroke?

Maybe.

You've done the card dealership?

I know Burt Bacharak.

Look at me.

Did you just

Did you just make Burt Bacharak a Lou Bacharak?

And like, everyone was like, yeah, I guess.

The creator of the card game.

That guy.

You You made a guy named Lou Bacharak the most famous of Lou's.

Stu Gotz calls Hank Azaria Frank.

Yo, Stu Gots.

How are you, Hank?

I'm good.

I'm good.

How you doing?

I'm doing good.

We were discussing the Bruce Springsteen cover band that you have put together, and I'm wondering whose idea, like, how did that come to fruition here, Frank?

Frank?

Frank?

Frank.

That's great.

I'm going to call you Frank for the rest of the time.

He does look like a Frank.

Well, Shroom Gots.

juju gutti calls jonathan zaszlo andrew i'm so happy to see we got a celebrity in the building today one of the most popular celebrities andrew zaszlo oh my god

that's why andrew is atop that celebrity pick'em board you dig it my bad john his close friends call him andrew i call him y'all call him jonathan dan lebertard can't say subliminally i don't know what the heat are going to sneak in there or sub subliminally subliminally good Good job.

Digestible.

God damn it.

I think

Heat fans want.

Greg Cody doesn't know Hollywood Brown.

You got to earn the nickname Hollywood, by the way.

Come on.

What's he done to earn that name?

He was born in Hollywood.

From Hollywood, Florida.

All right.

Dispensation.

Go 954.

Greg Cody lived in Hollywood, Florida.

Hollywood Cody.

That's where I was born.

1940.

Pebble Drive.

Hollywood Cody.

Yeah.

Dan Lebatard needs to restart the show.

Stop that.

Stop that.

Juju, put it on the poll, please.

Does the DND

DNC, excuse me DNP?

What happened there?

Oh, my God.

Juju, verbatim.

Every single word he said.

Should we start over?

Can we start over?

Let's start again.

Tim Kirchin thought you could milk a male cow.

I'd milked one cow in my entire life.

It was a disaster at Ferguson Farm when my daughter was in the fifth grade.

And I said He, meaning the cow, was not interested in giving up a lot of milk.

He, to which Buster started to scream at me, guy grew up on a dairy farm.

I didn't even know that it was only the females that give milk.

Did you guys know that?

I did.

Of course, we did.

Male cows are fools.

You and the cow in a moment.

I didn't know that.

The crew messes with Greg Cody about the noise from his computer.

Playing the old.

That's Greg Cody.

No, it isn't.

I saw you reach.

I know it is.

It is.

It's got to be.

You hit your computer there.

Vet me.

If it's me, I will give you a $100 bill right now.

All right, Mike.

This is an AOL email, just for the record.

Oh, of course!

Of course!

No!

So obvious!

Of course!

So I'm talking about.

That's impossible.

What I'm talking about?

It's the cord right here.

It's loose.

so I'm talking about how does that make that noise oh there you go wow wow no drag no somebody else is doing that drag no now this is gaslighting what how can they possibly do it in there I don't know

so gaslighting very unprofessional

I didn't touch it

damn it and you saw that I didn't touch it Dan Lebetard runs out of words to say I can tell by looking at the teeth that's a tiger shot okay look at this killing machine I've seen this video too because my algo is locked in on these man killers.

So what is this doing?

Why is this doing this the way that it is doing it?

Well, because he's being tormented.

Can you see how the guy is grabbing the thing's snout and he's trying to get the thing to bite?

Chris Cody can't talk on Mystery Crate.

Welcome back.

Mike Fuentes thinks

gas is fucking.

Why are you guys laughing?

Can a man not speak?

Wow, I mean, just a little misspeak.

Is that funny to you guys?

I mean, welcome to the whole thing.

Welcome to Mystery Crate again.

if is this my fourth take doing this maybe

yeah yeah chris cody screws up asking pablo tore a question pablo you and three other people your dream my mouth dream watering drink live living your death your dream my mouth dream watering drink living dream uh get what dan libertard's voice changes this dude now needs to shove this beefy five layer burrito up his butt this is not it needs yes it has to happen it has to happen that's not not what's going to make

college football proof-certified better than pro football.

Well, I know it won't help it if he just decides to not do this.

The irony is that on Saturday night around 2 a.m., I had one of those burritos coming out of my ass.

Is that the irony?

I don't think you know what irony is.

Alternatively, why did your voice

key sir a five-layer burrito?

Because you haven't been eating.

What happened then?

How do you not hear it yourself?

How do you not hear it and go,

Dan Lebatard says Kenny Main's documentary is on FUBO.

Okay, so five shooting days.

You poured your heart into this documentary.

It is on FUBU, 8 p.m.

Eastern tonight.

Dan, you said the documentary airs on FUBU.

That is a clothing line.

Fubo is on Friday.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That's my bad.

Lebatard.

That's a totally different.

I love that dude on Shark Tank, though.

It's a great disseminator of sports content.

It's also available through Roku and their other platforms.

After saying Joe Maurer isn't a first ballot Hall of Famer, Greg Cody learns he voted for him.

I have confirmed that my dad did vote for Joe Maurer in 2023.

On the first ballot?

Well, he got in on the first ballot, so it's the only ballot he's on.

But let me just be ashamed of yourself.

Here's a caveat.

No, no, no, wait a minute.

Just eat the L.

What's the caveat?

I gotta hear the caveat.

Wait a minute.

I'll hear it.

I'll allow the hearing of it,

and it's fine.

But before he gets to the caveat, can you just admit that you're wrong about your recollection?

Yeah, I was wrong.

Can you admit that you're wrong in having a Hall of Fame vote that you treat with so little regard that this is not an indictment of your memory, but it's an indictment in general of how it is that you do these things, that you don't actually care whether someone's first ballot or not because you can't remember whether you voted someone first ballot or not.

I cherish my Hall of Fame vote enough to have kept it.

it for a long time, unlike yourself, who was stripped of his vote for malfeasance.

And in some cases, perhaps non-feasance.

For integrity, not wrong.

For integrity.

Okay, that's what they call it.

Tomato potato.

David Sampson tries to say croquetta.

Would you offer someone crazy?

Correta from a Jewish deli.

Croquetta?

Croquetta?

No, that's not how you said crequeta.

That is not how you said croquetta.

Andrew Hawkins tries to sound cool with Keenan Thompson.

My parents start with A's and all of our kids start with A's.

And then some of their kids also all start with A's and they think our family is strange for that.

No, I just think y'all are dedicated.

That's all.

Y'all dedicated to the A.

I'm dedicated to the A being from Atlanta, so I feel you.

Yeah, we both.

Two up, two down.

He's up, two down.

Is that what it is?

Oh, you're from Ohio, man.

A town?

No, man.

My bad.

I'm still learning.

Two up, two down.

All right, no, Keith.

I got a question now.

Tony Kalatiud calls Dominique Foxworth a mean.

He's avoiding the balls.

Dominique is avoiding the Matzo Balls, which is the best part.

That's the best part of the soup.

How's the soup a mean?

You're not going to.

I mean,

do you just call him Amin?

Yeah, what?

He's an I mean.

Exactly.

Thank you.

The soup?

He's also in our Panther chat.

The soup itself?

That was for sure an amine.

It was not an Amin.

It was I mean.

I need a replay.

Stumbling.

How's the soup amine?

You're not going to be.

You want to admin when you're wrong?

How's the soup amine?

You're not going to be.

Why would you throw anything?

How's the soup amendment?

You're not.

The soup, I mean, this is a safe space for admitting when you made a mistake.

How's the soup amine?

You're not going to.

That's crazy.

I've tried to have you backed up.

Amin L.

Hessen tries to say, not my first rodeo.

Of all all the players in the NBA who have had to guard Steph Curry this year, I think Thompson has done perhaps the best job.

He's just exact in terms of size, in terms of defense and IQ and all that stuff.

But first time at the rodeo, and you know what happens at the first time at the rodeo, Stugats, the bull rides the horns or some shit like that.

Nailed that's what happened.

His first rodeo.

He's never been to a rodeo rode.

That's his first rodeo.

How is that a way to dismount on the segment?

I've never been to a rodeo.

Greg Cody thinks he watched Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point game that wasn't televised i'm the only one in this room who was alive at the time wilt chamberlain's 100-point game i was seven years old you don't remember that in hollywood florida at 1440 watching on a black and white sylvania television set this is a great this is a great story here no because nobody believes that game happened it's it's a 100-point game and it did happen i thought it was like famously not televised i don't think we have seen video proof of him scoring the 100 have we yeah it was he held up a sign after the game.

No, but that's not the same.

That's all.

I think there's a Mandela set going on.

Jessica.

Jessica, Jessica, I think.

You think that's a conspiracy theory?

I think it wasn't televised.

I don't think there's a lot of video of that game.

I think there's just like one grainy photograph or something.

I'm just telling you, I watched it on TV.

I don't trust you.

You couldn't have watched it on TV.

According to the Library of Congress, the amazing performance wasn't televised, and there's no videotape of the game, only a Philadelphia radio station broadcast.

You're full of it.

You're just making that memory.

Maybe it's a figment of my imagination.

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Hey, listeners, it's Mike.

Hey, Billy Gill.

Hey.

Hey, Billy, as a proud member of your inner circle.

Remember when we were hanging out last weekend?

Oh, yeah, fishtail palms.

Fishtail palms, great memories we made, kids playing in the pool, and in our hands, a nice nice ice-cold can of Miller Light.

It was so hot out.

I know, but it was so cold in my hand.

We took that first sip.

It was crisp.

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Oh, man, there is nothing like cracking open a Miller Light with your crew and your inner circle bones.

Hell yeah.

We fist bumped.

Whether it's, we actually really did.

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