Local Hour: Football Is Back, Jack!
New rule: Every time Carl, the random black man, sees any of us "being Jeremy," he's allowed to break a bottle over their head.
Also, Dan comes to a spork in the road, Zaslow eats a plain stick, Chris reads, the women of the show flee the premises, Tony wants to talk ball, Billy gives the audience a helpful guide to NFL streaming, and Mike's limited fake RFK knows something you don't.
Today's cast: Dan, Zaslow, Chris, Billy, Mike, and Tony.
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Transcript
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Listen.
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This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stu Gats Podcast.
No need, no check nows.
Give me big hits and quarterbacks.
Keep your fantasy team from falling off the track.
Football is backjack
whether on the ground or through the air.
When the chips are down and you throw a prayer,
when your team is crying on the husk,
it's four to ten, you refuse to buck
when the shoulder pads and helmets crack.
That's how you know that football is back,
Jack.
Let me hear you say
football is back, Jack.
This high is wild and out of control.
And we're gonna ride it every week till we reach the Super Bowl.
No need, no check downs.
Give me big hits and quarterbacks.
If you say this game, the best, I'll say it's a gag.
Football is back, Jack.
Football is back, Jack.
Football is back.
Football is back,
Jack.
It's a beautiful morning on the Serengeti.
As you see now, the Zazlo has spotted his plane stick
and he seems to be
reveling in the joy that is the plane stick.
Beautiful morning on the Serengeti.
He's enjoying it.
Wait,
so before we start all this, hold on a second, because we're coming out of, I just saw a random black dude break a bottle over someone's head in the other room, and I don't know what that was about.
Jeremy got a bottle broken over his head, and then I come in here, and he's got the plane sticks.
He's finally got the plane sticks.
He thinks they're delicious.
The Serengeti.
I don't know what you're doing, but I did hear that I heard.
Mike, what did you tell me during a liquid IV ad?
I don't know why we decided Chris should be on the read.
We don't have to do that.
We don't have to relive.
Mispronounce caffeine.
You what?
You thought it was a good idea to go live with you reading?
I did think it was a decent idea, as the Zazlo
enjoys his plane stick.
Yeah, and he had work in Serengeti again.
In the Serengeti.
In the morning.
In the morning.
How did you say caffeine the other day in the liquid?
I said caffeine.
All right?
Get over it.
Hyphenane.
How do you guys feel about the plane stick?
Before we get, we got plenty of content today.
We got way, way, way too much show.
We'll get to it in a second.
The plane stick,
Joy Taylor's been mocking Zaslow for many years about his love of this.
You know, the love of this stick.
And it's disgusting.
Like, of all the donuts, it's the plainest, right?
So go and touch my lips.
But you would agree, would everyone agree here that it's the plainest of the donuts?
Like, this is, yes?
There's no plainer donut than the plain stick, correct?
It's like eating just doughy bread.
It's not, it doesn't have very much flavor to it, correct?
Give me one of those things.
I mean, it is glazed.
No, no.
His is not.
His is a plain.
No, you've got.
No, look, what you guys have isn't what he has.
He's got one without the glaze.
You guys have a glaze on it.
That changes everything.
Glaze isn't good.
Of course, the glaze is good.
Yeah, Chris has a plain one, though.
Oh, the Serengeti.
You're going to love it.
No, he's not going to love that.
It's like.
No.
No, it's dry.
Yeah, not good.
A donut needs to be, a donut needs to be sweet.
Put it on the poll at Lebatard show.
Doesn't a donut need to be sweet?
I think it also needs to be round.
It needs accompaniment, this thing.
Like it needs a coffee or some other flavor to it.
It needs to go in my belly.
Put it on the poll as well.
Does a donut need to be round?
We've got
the owners are mad at us, okay?
We've got a situation where the big owners club, and this is a problem when you get the owners mad at you.
The owner's got all the money.
The owners can be in hiding and stuff.
And now Mark Cuban is coming after Pablo Torrey with where are your where are your facts
jack and it's like
but but i don't want to do that today because we got football because football is back we uh we were having a conversation before the show dan that i don't think you caught but we're trying to figure out exactly because pablo now you know and metalark have this partnership with the athletic so i'll go plane stick down does uh does steve ballmer sue metalark or the athletic for this story
look uh some of this stuff that we're doing is hard to do i don't know that maybe you didn't notice at the beginning of Pablo Tory Finds Out, but I had a journalism decision to make on something we were publishing that was going to infuriate Ishbia.
And I got the world's most powerful sports guy as our
CEO.
And of course, you're afraid of the money because these people can bury you in lawsuits.
Trump is hurting the media just by grabbing tens of millions here and there with just bogus stuff.
So this stuff's dangerous when you bring the fight to these particular people.
Like, they're good at hiding.
They're good at avoiding questions.
Mickey Erison's going into the hall of fame
he's reluctantly doing two five-minute interviews they've offered us a five-minute interview that has that yeah but it has five minute interview what's we're really gonna get to the nuts and bolts of things
like so
where we are now agitating people and Mark Cuban I want to get to him, but football's back.
But football's tonight, football is Jack.
I'm sorry.
I don't know.
I mean, geez.
Why did a random black man break a bottle over the head of Jeremy in the other room?
Name's Carl.
We've established him as a character.
You know, Carl.
I was like, all right, he just did it once, but he won't do it again.
Maybe that should be his gimmick.
Just comes in when somebody's doing too much and breaks a bottle over the head.
Just Jeremy's head, actually.
No, you know what?
I don't think anyone's claimed that gimmick.
You know what, Zaz?
You know what?
I would, let's give Carl that power now.
When Carl sees that any of us, me included, are using bad judgment or it's being Jeremy, let's call it being Jeremy, he's allowed to come in and slap someone over the head and break a bottle over their head.
I think that's a great idea.
Well, you would, but here's the problem:
I think that Carl would assume that you just referring to him as the random black man is bad judgment.
But then Carl, the random black man, as you referred to him, would come in and hit you in the head with a bump.
He's enraged.
Look at him in that video.
Look at him.
In that video, everyone else is dancing and having a dream.
He seems properly raged.
He seems properly raged to me.
Yeah.
But actually, he seems delighted.
Giving you a lifesaver, and you're just like, I'd rather drown.
There is a bottle broken over ahead, and he runs off to it.
It scares me if you watch me.
I mean, you guys saw it.
Look at that.
That's just rage.
It's clear and obvious rage.
We can't have that in the workplace.
Look at the Cody's.
They're there.
Everyone's having a good time.
That's football.
Yeah.
Now close your eyes and imagine he's a random white man.
I don't think you're dubbing it as rage.
Hey, listeners, it's Mike.
Hey Billy Gill.
Hey.
Hey Billy, as a proud member of your inner circle, remember when we were hanging out last weekend?
Oh yeah, fishtail palms.
The fishtail palms, the great memories we made, kids playing in the pool and in our hands, a nice ice-cold can of Miller Light.
It was so hot out.
I know, but it was so cold in my hand.
We took that for a sip.
It was crisp.
It was refreshing.
Oh, man, there is nothing like cracking open a Miller light with your crew and your inner circle bones.
Hell yeah.
We fist bumped.
Whether Whether it's, we actually really did, whether it's that touchdown.
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Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan.
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Don Lebatard.
You were that kind of sad this morning, taking the barrage of anger from Stugats because you hadn't booked him enough interviews.
I, the only reason I keep bringing this up is because you are throwing a big party on Thursday.
You're doing it, and I want people to support what you're doing because Stugatz has not made this easy.
Stugats.
Well, you know, I well, yeah, you know.
This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.
So, football is back tonight
with Cowboys and Eagles.
Zaszlo was laughing because
he was saying that Colin Cowherd didn't know that Friday's game was in Brazil, but I didn't know there was a Thursday game, so I don't think I'm in a position to mock him.
I thought I learned watching YouTube ads scroll across my screen, wait a minute, there's a game on Friday night and it's Chiefs Chargers, and I thought that's how the season was starting.
I didn't realize, oh, of course, they're going to start with Thursday night football.
I I missed that.
Did the Chiefs win the Super Bowl last year?
I mean, the Chiefs, I.
No, they didn't.
The answer is no.
You're right.
You always start with the Super Bowl champion on opening night at home.
Thursday.
That's what you're doing.
Okay.
You say that, and you can never go wrong, obviously, with Eagles, Cowboys.
Of course not.
That's a great storyline.
But it's not up for dispute, is it?
That the Marquis game is the one that has Taylor Swift in it, correct?
It's still that.
We're still on that.
Are we not?
That the numbers are going to be highest for whatever the
biggest star in the sport right now is taylor swift's uh fiancé that that's the biggest star in the sport that they just had a record podcast uh
the the podcast that the kelseys are doing that's a very difficult business venture we're trying to talk ball dam you're talking ball no but i'm asking you the ratings higher for thursday eagles cowboys or the taylor swift game on friday night because now they're taking thursday and friday did they put their did they put their big game on friday because they don't have fridays yet they've only got thursdays and sundays and mondays well they have the black friday game too but thursday night is on nbc and peacock and friday's on youtube so i think that nbc peacock so can we not get it if we don't have youtube tv i don't know it's a good question so a lot of people are headed to this this is confusing this is all getting expensive i don't know about red zone except now there's commercials and pat mcafey is telling you know whatever his name is hansen oh no one's upset about commercials like uh get with the program pat now they're saying they've been doing this for a year they're like hey we've been throwing commercials at you for a while now this is not the ESPN thing.
They've been preparing us for this.
Also, ESPN is a convenient foil because they don't actually control this thing just yet.
They control it next year.
So the NFL is using ESPN as a pseudo-meat shield here.
Sports fans, I am sorry to say this to you.
You've heard Samson all over our network taking some glee in this.
He's been warning you.
Him and Skipper have both been warning you.
Hey, sports fans are all going to get screwed here, okay?
Like the thing that's going to happen is your fandom is so addictive.
And we know football is king.
You don't want to miss any of those games.
Hell, I just got sucked in to Mobland, and I didn't have Paramount Plus.
And I'm like, I don't want Paramount Plus.
I don't like what's on Paramount Plus.
And then I saw Mobland, and I'm like, holy shit, that's better than the Sopranos.
Good show.
No, I'm like, if they keep...
Relax.
No, if they keep doing that, and it appears from the way that it ended, they're going to keep doing that.
Who's in that?
Mobland.
It's everybody.
Mobland.
It's going to be everybody.
Mob Land, Helen Mirren, it plays a bad person for the first time and a great one.
Oh, she's always bad.
Pierce Brosnan plays a bad person and a great one.
Tom Hardy, and then the king of it, the king of it is Guy Ritchie.
That's five Guy Ritchie movies, is what Mobland is, one after another, and it would be better than the Sopranos if I gave it eight seasons.
Paramount Plus is good.
Don't they have all those Taylor Sheridan shows?
Spangers.
Paramount Plus.
Spangers.
They have all the different paw patrols also.
Okay, so you're going to have to have all of them.
You understand the competition for money and the competition for content as the Kelseys and Taylor Swift and everyone else realizes the value of good content.
South Park realizes it.
Colbert realizes it.
Conan O'Brien realizes it.
The whole entertainment landscape is changing, and everybody wants football.
And football is Thursday night and it's Friday night.
And then college football, minor league football, our second biggest sport in America.
That's all day Saturday.
And now you got Sunday.
And now you're off and running on what is basically cocaine snorting for 17 straight weeks because the gambling action, 300, what is it?
Is it 300 billion strong?
The gambling action.
It might be 30 billion.
It might be 30 billion.
That's Nick Wright's account.
It makes it, oh, on the weekend when you're off, you can just sit there and play with your money on television while watching football, which makes it easy.
Doesn't make easy.
I'm describing awesome things.
Well, this is what's upon us, right?
But also.
I hear you talk, I'm like, man, how whack are Tuesdays and Wednesdays?
You say all of this, and I don't want to go super serious on where we're headed because you guys say i always dampen the fun on football yeah so don't do it yep there you go
there is a choice chris you're absolutely right there's a fork in the road here dan
there's the fun road and there's the dan road so you get to choose which way do we want to go today the fun road or the not fun road it's true this segment was headed in a direction where hey we're just going to talk about awesome things yeah i like that direction yeah then there's always the third one that we don't see because this is like a sport where dan's like vaccines he's like whoa hold on a second a random what guy zaslow you are sitting there next to me and you're critiquing the show you're getting more and more confidence in that seat i'm just telling you what i like you're a college uh football expert everybody knows it sweets on the road uh first class flying because everyone knows his knowledge is something that is needed in the top echelon of where sports are described your power is hungry we've seen it physically Chris Cody has mocked you on this front.
And one of the reasons this show became less fun is because I was starting to do it, as I'm telling you guys, while fighting with owners, which is unpleasant.
And next to me is a guy eating a plane stick who can't get his headphones right.
And there are people scurrying in under his chair because evidently you didn't know how to do your job while I was talking, trying to have fun.
Right, while you guys were doing that, while you guys were doing that, I'm sitting here trying to do the show.
Serious time fighting owners.
Football's coming.
Dan wants to be Dan.
Vaccines.
Look out.
Florida is the most distressed state.
Keep dancing sports, monkey boy.
I mean, I've been doing this long enough.
I know how a microphone and and headsets work.
Is it possible there was sabotage?
Wow.
Wow.
A saboteur amongst us, you're saying.
I know how to use equipment.
Only somebody else in that room other than you.
Huh.
Who would it be?
Who'd done it?
I don't want to talk ball, clearly.
No, but who would it be?
It would be a guy because
the women have fled the premises.
They're covering college football.
They're no longer wanting to be in Miami.
Who sabotaged this?
The implication was it was you.
But Tony was implying you sabotaged.
Oh, I thought you guys talked ball.
I thought you guys were implying it was Stugat.
No.
The chair.
I don't think he's allowed in the building.
That it was the chair.
Talk about the
it is a.
You gotta worry about Thai void fever now.
Oh, I get it.
I know who he is.
It's a good impersonation.
Trying to figure it out.
Come over here now.
Mike Ryan, were you hurt that your limited fakes, none of them won?
No.
No, no, no.
Because Marinda
is a first ballot HOFR.
I have an update the game you can watch for free on YouTube on Friday It also says you have access to it with subscription to NFL Plus and YouTube TV, but if it's free, you don't need any of that.
You can just watch it for free.
Yeah, you just watch on YouTube.
Do we know how I'm getting red zone this weekend?
Don't ask.
What do you got?
I needed help with it.
I needed help with it.
I needed an assistant to come over and help me make sure that I had red zone because of what's happened the last three seasons to me where I'm scrambling the Sunday morning and I don't know what to do or how to call or nobody and customer service has died so nobody picks up a phone and not at that hour because a lot of people in America are doing what I'm doing.
I don't know how you're getting red zone, but I know how you're getting measles.
What do you have?
I can help you.
What do you have?
How do you?
No, I'm good now.
No, okay.
I don't know if I'm good or not.
What do you have?
I feel like I'm going to be scrambling when I get home from Dallas on Sunday morning to watch the red zone.
I have DirecTV stream.
You could probably just like log on to your account and just like click something.
Like I have the channel, you think it's part of the package?
Yeah, like they let you like, so I have like Hulu Plus Live TV and you go in and you just like check my account and then it's like just add-on and then like two seconds later you have it.
All right.
Should be good.
All right.
I can call me if anything.
All right.
You'll come over if I have a problem.
Yeah, I'm here for you.
Billy, you can be hard to reach.
You don't return texts.
I don't believe any of what he's saying.
I do.
Billy can actually be helpful, but he'd have to return your call.
I mean, that was kind of helpful what he just told me.
Yeah, I'm trying.
I feel like do you have any?
We've given them in the past, and this might be outdated now, but you can get these companies by threatening to cancel your subscription.
Oh, that's a guy who had cable once upon a time.
You can negotiate the price down on some of this stuff if you can get a customer service representative on the line.
Billy, you have given great value over the years to our audience.
You've saved our audience hundreds of dollars here.
Is there any trick like that that can be played?
that we can tell people without telling people without bothering the sponsors.
Hmm.
I don't know.
I mean, I don't know if there's any like free subscriptions you could like do previews for right now.
I mean, everything right now is just like NBC or Peacock.
You probably have NBC because NBC is like a free channel.
How do you get the red zone discounted?
You've given people that.
I have no clue that.
I don't know.
Well, but you've given people that advice in the past.
No, I mean.
Didn't it used to be you would just call up and be like, I will cancel my subscription right now.
And then it's, oh, what if we give you a Sunday ticket for free?
Yeah, I will not cancel my subscription.
That used to work with DirecTV.
Yeah.
That was the number one.
Billy, do you not remember saving people thousands of dollars?
It was
a great gratitude.
I remember I tell everybody, I remind everybody.
It's an anniversary of having my calendar every year, the Monday, first Monday after the regular season.
Guys, remember, cancel your red zone.
You don't need it for the next 10 months.
Like, you're good now.
And then I'll remind you.
So, guys, this is a friendly reminder.
And gals, everyone out there, if you want to watch Red Zone, resubscribe.
But resubscribe, you know what?
I'm going to look at the calendar because I resubscribe like on that Sunday because if it's month to month, I look to see what the last last date is so that I don't get charged an additional month when I don't need that month.
You know, so I wait till the last possible second.
If I did it two weeks ago, then I may be short two weeks at the end of the regular season.
Then I need to pay another month just for two weeks.
So wait till the last possible second.
This is good advice.
Yeah, thank you.
I need some good advice from you guys because the fighting of the owners is hard when, you know, there's...
There's just access exchange that makes some of this stuff hard.
I've covered Mickey Harrison, the greatest owner South Florida Sports has ever seen.
For 30 years, what he has done with that franchise to make it what it is makes him worthy of the Hall of Fame he's now being inducted to.
Because as an owner of a sports team, wherever Mike's complaints are on luxury tax stuff and everything else, where he should lose money so that we could have our fun, what they built in South Florida is a model for a sports franchise that became nationally bigger than what the Dolphins were once when Don Shula was building this town.
Like what the Miami Heat did for 30 years when
the local sports team's not entitled to be taking over the town for 20 years and being that kind of relevant.
His stewardship of this team, governing Pat Riley with his son, because I've told you guys many times, hey guys, Mickey and Nick run that team.
It's five people consortium.
Everyone thinks Riley's in charge.
That works for everybody.
The Arrisons will hide in the shadows, but if Mickey and Nick want something, it's their team.
And Pat Riley's in charge.
But I've seen, like, I've seen him walk out of stuff where, you know, he wants Marcus Thornton.
And the answer is no.
And like that's, I've seen it happen because this team is run by the Arisons and has been done so quintessentially in a way that has no precedent in this market, not even the Dolphins, who soiled everything they built with all of their arrogance and losing, while the Heat gave us one bad season last year and lost mike and one bad season in 20 years man deserves the hall of fame
he's doing three five minute interviews doesn't want to do any of them hall of fame is forcing two of them on him forcing two of them on him he's like okay fine i'll do those and i'm like mickey come to our show we have a relationship we're across from you come to our show
And he's like, okay, five minutes.
I'm like, five minutes?
Like,
it's a great honor for you.
It's a great honor to be on the show.
Yeah
Well, is he gonna have a stopwatch?
Like what happens at five minutes?
Five minutes.
What's he so busy doing?
He's on cruise control now.
Let's be honest.
Literally cruise control.
Nick's running things.
He's doing whatever he wants.
By the way, I have good news.
Good breaking news to save you guys money.
So I looked up to see when the season ended.
Season starts September 7th in terms of when you need red zone.
Now, season ends January 7th.
We're in a classic pickle.
pickle.
Fine movie eat yourselves pickles, yo.
If I'm charged on the 7th of every month, am I going to be recharged January 7th for a full month just for that one week in January?
I don't know.
You don't know.
Nobody knows.
Someone knows, but we don't know.
So I did a little googling.
If you go to nfl.com slash I want NFL network slash this week, there's a free preview of NFL Red Zone on Cox, Hulu, DirecTV, Dish, Optimum, Sling, Xfinity.
So if you have those, you can get a free preview this week, then subscribe next week, and then we don't need to figure out the seventh, seventh situation.
You know what I mean?
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Don Lebatard.
In terms of Heat fans, you're the most irrational of us right now.
What's the Oh, irrational.
Stugats.
I don't hear your voice.
Your voice.
If I were making a cartoon thing that was meant to symbolize irrational, that's the voice I would give it.
Premise.
This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.
Chris, you were not helpful that segment as I waited the entire time for the pickles music.
One it's it is that Billy said pickles and I just saw you scanning and searching and did not come up with the pickles music so that while billy was being helpful to the audience he could explain a classic pickle in a way that would be helpful is there any reason you couldn't find the pickles music he didn't know we were doing it i went a little rogue i'll i'll defend him on this i just i didn't know i was going to do a pickle until i started talking it just came out there we go
I'm saying he opened with the Serengeti and thought that live reading was a good idea to open this particular show when I'm fighting with owners.
This This particular show, you know, where I think we go?
I think we go, Chris reads at the beginning.
It's a Serengeti bit.
You understand
why I might be a little agitated?
I don't want to fight with owners.
You think that was reading?
That was all off the dome, baby.
So, what do we do with Mickey?
Are you going to ask him hardball questions or softball questions?
Like, what are we doing?
Should we even take the interview?
Like, I don't know if you would ever accept the five-minute time limit on an interview with any kind of sports owner, but I feel like you're making a special little concession here for your boy Mickey.
Well, but, okay, so my boy Mickey.
Is he coming in studio?
No.
That would be a giant waste of time for him to drive all the way over here for five minutes and just get up and leave.
Office is right across the street.
That is true.
We're assuming he should.
You haven't met the office?
Cruise control.
Cruise control.
Cruise control, remember?
He's actually, yeah.
He lives.
Where does he live?
What's his address?
Send him some fan mail.
He lives at the arena.
He's got to be really confused that Lady Gaga is still there.
What was her deal?
She just yesterday decided, you know what?
I don't want to sing today.
She didn't do the show.
They let people in the building.
She was like 40 minutes away from hitting the stage.
And they sent out a message on socials and made an arena announcement that her voice just doesn't have it that night.
I don't know.
But lip sync.
Lip sync.
What happened all throughout the day?
She said, according to her statement, that during vocal rehearsal on Tuesday, because Tuesday was an off night, she played Sunday and Monday, had an off night in Miami.
Those will catch up to you, Lady Gaga.
And then had a rehearsal again on Wednesday that the decision was made after they let people in the building that her voice wasn't good enough to perform.
I don't want to make any reckless accusations.
Wait a minute, I think we're already here and play the pickle meeting.
I'm going to follow you journalistically.
Time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless.
Here is something we like to call reckless speculation.
Now you could, I think this is breaking news.
I think this is happen to know.
You could report this as happen to know because what you're about to say, I think, is absolutely true.
I'm piecing together circumstantial evidence here.
You don't make a call on the voice after people are in the building.
My speculation here, albeit reckless, is that off-night in Miami got to Lady Gaga.
Oh my god, he knows.
Yeah, I don't think that's reckless at all.
I think that's responsible.
And furthermore, we just saw her
not be immune to.
I've only known
Gaga.
Is James Harden?
is James Harden the only one who survived a Miami night, who could survive a Miami night?
We just, the NFLPA,
the head of the NFLPA couldn't survive a Miami night.
He just lost his job because he went over to Tootsie's.
I feel like Michael Jordan would have been okay.
He played 36 rounds of golf before a playoff game and just came from the golf course to the playoff game.
Well, 36 holes, 36 rounds.
Oh, my God.
He'd be so tired.
That'd be a record.
What is he?
Precedent?
So should we just ask Mickey about why Lady Gaga didn't perform last night?
No, Mike just reported it.
He happens to know.
Like, that's, we just saw Gaga.
We saw that.
Come and listen.
Man, South Florida is worth a couple of points.
Everyone knows this.
This is not a surprise.
Everyone knows that South Florida Knights are worth a couple of points for any basketball team that comes down here.
And on many nights, you see a team that has absolutely no legs.
That's a real thing.
It can be proven by Haberstro.
He happens to know.
No vaccine for the South Beach flu.
Actually, in Florida, no vaccines whatsoever.
But they don't cancel the game after the team is out 40 minutes before game time and people are in the game.
No, but a player doesn't play.
Right, a player.
That's right.
But when she's a player and she's the player, like, this is the economy that these guys are.
It's why you see Kawhi Leonard grabbing $28 million on the side because they know the economy that they are.
That would have been funny if her band played without her.
That's right.
Like, that's the thing, though, about...
I would have preferred that.
I don't know.
You know what?
You don't sing.
Like, the lip sync thing, fine.
Don't let people in the building and say you got to leave.
That's just poor form.
That's some like Kanye bleep.
Wow.
Lady Gaga out load management.
That's what happened.
I don't think, let's report it.
You're a journalist.
Like, come on, Zaslow, you're a journalist.
I'll report it.
No, but report it.
Look, if, if Lady Gaga is very popular, she doesn't upset her fans or anybody very much.
Little monsters.
Little monsters.
You should have seen the people spilling out of that arena.
Little monsters.
Yeah.
Miami?
Oh, man.
You drive through this traffic to get to here under that $800 million bridge we're building so no one one can get in here.
I'll bet that parking lot didn't give you your money back.
In incredible outfits, let me tell you.
No, but of course they're furious.
They come out for the night.
We don't even have the infrastructure to hold what would be the rest of that night when that gets out over here.
Instead of going to the concert, I just ended up going to my bar and you could tell exactly everybody who was let down by Lady Gaga.
Actually, I was a benefactor of that, so thank you, Lady Gaga.
I am seeing in the corner of the screen something that continues to terrify me and I believe is a workplace violation.
Immediately after breaking a bottle over the head of Jeremy Tashay in the office for I guess being too theatrical because he is because we've all wanted to do that to him.
This person who I've never seen before I can't see him from here, but it just seems all I'm seeing is rage.
Everyone else is dancing.
Look at the Cody's singing in the back of the screen and what's behind them?
A man who is clearly enraged, has committed a violent crime, and then scampers out of the screen.
Might be foaming.
Is he foaming?
You can't tell me that's not rage.
Look at him.
What did you say his name was?
How did you identify him?
He's an established character.
It's not even his first video.
We played him in videos all week last week.
But we haven't seen his behavior.
That's right.
Are you all right?
He's already thanked Zenro for it, right?
Zen's worried about Jeremy.
But when I see someone behave like this, I get choked up.
That's a second time.
No, but choked up emotional or scared because you're scared.
Look, we've got that.
That is a human resources problem.
That, right there.
That's proof.
We haven't seen Jeremy since?
He had a bottle broken over his head.
What do you mean we haven't seen him since?
Is he at the hospital?
Like, that's what clearly happened.
We have video proof, and he's rabid before he runs out of the screen.
This is enough to convict this man.
He might have rabies.
So we've got football is upon us.
Mickey Harrison, what do I do?
Can I get some creative judgment here please seriously because it's got to be five minutes it's five minutes he's got he's got five minutes is what he's willing to give us should we be grateful for the five minutes because absolutely not
We have to put his feet to the fire on this.
This isn't a Paloran.
Exactly right.
Zaz needs to accuse him of that insider trading that he did yesterday.
What were you accusing him of?
Some backdoor deals that he got.
Oh, and Anthony Carter?
Yeah, you got to ask him about Anthony Carter.
Well, that's true.
You got to ask him about the air and the chips.
You got to ask him about all kinds of stuff.
Should we ask him about leaving the arena in a disguise after they were swept?
Like Poppy Claim?
You got to ask him about that.
That is true.
Yes.
Let's put together a list of questions.
Now you're doing it, but we only have five minutes.
We only have five minutes, and I'm asking you just journalistically.
These are not concessions we've ever made for anybody.
Mike's got a question for sure.
Or of a statement.
Okay, but my question is f Terry Rozier.
Yeah, all right.
So true or false.
True or false.
Well, so you guys tell me what to do about this because I don't want to be in bed with the owners.
owners.
I do not.
Mark Cuban is now rabid with Pablo Torre.
Rabid going after Pablo Torre.
And
we're fighting with owners, and this is a day of celebration.
This is a man who does not trust the media, does not like speaking in public, does not want the attention, does not need the attention, would prefer to be in the shadows.
They've run this franchise really well.
He deserves the honor that he's getting this week.
No one would dispute it, right?
He let Michael Beasley and Rio go, and they won a championship more recently than the heat so so you guys don't think i mean zasler you're a two-time champion broadcaster like the legacy in the legacy of ariston in a minute oh i mean best owner we've ever had down here i know people get on him for the spending but money's never been an issue when the team is good he doesn't want to spend it the team is not going to be good it's a franchise that you know you don't have scandal you don't have embarrassment and the action speak for itself when the building is packed every single night.
It's a great franchise.
Mickey, true or false, you know who Jonathan Zaslow is.
All right.
If you want to do it that way, we can do it that way.
But it'll require us to make it entertaining in a period of time that it's not reasonable.
And I don't want to agree to these terms.
I think they're shit terms.
But
I'd also like to give him his respect, right?
I'd like to.
I would like to celebrate someone worthy of celebration.
What if you tell him in order for me to give you the proper respect, I need more than five minutes?
The answer is no.
The The answer is no.
It's five minutes.
It's the most he's giving anyone.
Look, the corridors of power on this stuff.
These people don't have to answer to anyone anymore.
Anyone.
Five minutes can be an eternity.
Five minutes is more than anyone else is getting because there's so many layers.
Look,
your wife tells you.
Ballmer is sitting here saying, I didn't know anything.
I didn't know anything.
Yeah, I didn't know anything.
And
I'm remembering a 60 Minutes piece they did on Prokhorov.
Oh, this owner, he's got this suspicious money, but look at him, he's on jet skis, and he's so quaint.
He doesn't have a computer.
He doesn't even have a computer.
That's right, because it ties him to nothing.
You idiot.
You're 60 minutes.
You don't understand that there's so much space between where people get in trouble and the money that we've seen it climb to the top of the presidency and putting in place someone who's going to make us all sick
in Florida.
it's gonna make us all sick in Florida but that's why the Mickey thing is weird because he's not gonna give us any real answers
but so so no you say don't take him make a stand let's take Vinnie Viola for 10 minutes
so it's so reject Mickey reject the Mickey Harrison interview you wouldn't if
you got an email that said blank owner for five minutes you wouldn't take it
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Hey, listeners, it's Mike.
Hey, Billy Gill.
Hey.
Hey, Billy, as a proud member of your inner circle, remember when we were hanging out last weekend?
Oh, yeah, fishtail palms.
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It was so hot out.
I know, but it was so cold in my hand.
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