Hour 2: The Carrpool (feat. Brian Baumgartner, Cooper Manning, Kenny Mayne, and Jessica Smetana)

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This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stu Gats Podcast.

Look at this motley crew of people here. This holy trinity, Kenny Maine, Cooper Manning, and what I just learned, the nickname, the bomber.

Brian Baumgartner, I don't think that, I don't know if anyone calls him the bomber.

I just overheard, I was eavesdropping Cooper Manning and Kenny Main talking, and they started to call him the bomber. So, Cooper, is that real?

I know you guys have a Smartlist podcast, the world's most entertaining golf podcast. Is he indeed the bomber? Does he know that he's the bomber, Cooper? You know, it's funny.

He was, we've had some, some celebs on so far, a lot of, a lot of big shots, a lot of Hollywood A-listers, and they all call him the bomber. And he never even told us that was his Hollywood code name.

So now Kenny and I are trying to be cool, and maybe we'll get invited to a red carpet somewhere with it.

Kenny, how the hell? Yeah. How the hell did you three get together? I'm sorry to interrupt you, bomber.
I'm sorry. No, there's no problem.
It's your show, Dan. So don't worry about it.

It may be because the first four letters of his name are bomb, like bomb, and then they just it's like hockey, you know, you'd be leby, leber, you know, they just add an ER and it will wide.

So that's, and also he hits the shit out of the ball. He can play golf.
Can we swear?

It's tough to say. Listen, I don't know how we got together.
I'm still very confused

about that myself, but

I, of course, knew Kenny Main, legend, ESPN, the best ESPN guy ever. And Coop, every time I started saying, like, yeah, these guys from Smartlist, they want me to do this podcast with Cooper Manning.

And I would say it with a question mark at the end. Every single person universally was like, oh, he's the best Manning.
There's no Manning better than Cooper Manning.

And it turns out it's true. We've met in Scotland.
Our love was cemented there at the old course, and we're having a great time, Dan. Kenny, who put this together? Like, how did it come together?

Explain it to me. Well, way back when

Smarlos guys came at me and asked, could I guest host the show that Rex Chapman was doing? We're basically making fun of the worst owners in sports, right?

And I said, I'll do the Sonics one because the Starbucks guys sold our team and then screwed our city. But they wanted me to do the Knicks one.

And I said, I can't because I have a deal with Caesars and they have a deal. Like, I'm staying out of that deal.
It's not worth it.

And I just, you know, checked in with them sometime later like hey i thought we're going to take over the world what the hell happened and they started throwing around this idea about a golf thing how the hell they talked these two guys into it is beyond me but i'm glad they did because like like brian was saying we knew each other from afar i knew cooper a little bit already and we all got on pretty quick we we met in scotland to start our relationship and shoot videos and promote it and do interviews and we've had fun ever since The Mannings are funny, and I see the way Cooper looks at you, Kenny.

He looks at you the way that I look at you and the way a whole lot of people who loved your Sports Center

look at you. He's delighted by you.
I'm delighted by your backgrounds, and I feel like the bomber might have some envy about what it is that the two of you have behind you.

And he's in this antiseptic studio that he looks like he's been stuffed into. Here's what I was thinking: I got on a little late.
I don't know what it looks like to the rest of you.

It looks like laundry hung behind Cooper. That's what it seems.
Maybe it's a piece of art.

That's a fake background by Kenny.

No, it isn't. isn't.
For sure.

Oh, okay. Maybe it's not

fine. I just would rather be outside.

I actually work all the time for a living. These guys are just sporadic.

Only when they get me to work with them do they work. That's what happens.
It's pretty accurate.

Dan, do you want to be our fourth? I mean, do you want to be our fourth? We're looking for a fourth.

I'm a terrible golfer. You guys, this is part of the theme that you guys are doing, though, right? Where you're looking for a fourth because you've got the threesome.
We're on a constant.

Yeah, a constant quest to find a fourth. And people, surprisingly enough, people are lined up out the door wanting to be our fourth.
But

we say no a lot. And it's an elite, select group.
And we're having folks on that like to play golf, that like to talk about golf, that love golf, that hate golf, that want to have fun with it.

We're not talking about grip pressure and, you know, alignment sticks. We're talking about stories, fun,

dream foursomes, pet peeves, you name it. Plus, Dan, I think it's really just the Smartless guys.
They're setting us up in a succession. When they go away, they're going to not do this.

They need other people to step in. They're grooming us for that.
And I'm honored by the selection. So thank you to all the Smartless guys.
Cooper, the Mannings pride themselves on being funny.

Which is the funniest of the Mannings? Who's the funniest of the Mannings? Well, Dan, you probably have to ask them. I think

I like my odds in this one. I mean, I'm not,

I'm not, you know, they're, you know,

Peyton Eli have a great appreciation for humor. I think that's even more.
Like, they're not straight funny. They love humor.
They love funny people and they love being around just funny scenarios.

And so it's been fun to,

at times, ghostwrite for them on some deals and be a part of it. And we all like to make fun of ourselves.
And I think that's, that goes a long way and sleeping well at night.

Brian, Cooper just said Cooper's the funniest, right?

Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, did you mean of us three or the Mannings? The Mannings.

Oh, I'm so sorry. If you meant us three, then we can have some controversy here.
But of the Mannings, I agree, Cooper, Cooper is the funniest. Yes.
But also the poorest by far.

That was funny. That was funny.

There's several commas that I don't include in my net worth statement that other boys might have. Yeah.
But

don't let him pull that. It's not as many zeros as one might think.
Let me just say that.

When you show up at the old course in Scotland and someone's like, oh,

that's Cooper's Hotel.

What do you mean that's Cooper's Hotel? They're like, oh, no, that's Cooper's Hotel. We'll be going up there in this private patio later to watch people play on the old course.
I'm like, oh, okay.

Yeah, I get how it is. That's, it's, yeah, it's kind of like when you see Eli's Super Bowl trophy in my den, like, that's my Super Bowl trophy.

You know, if you own, if you own half of a urinal in a hotel, you get to call it your hotel.

Put it on the poll, Juju at Labatard show. If you own half a urinal in a hotel, do you own the hotel? Cooper, you look and sound like your brothers.

Very often, people realize that upon seeing you or hearing you, correct? Sure, yes.

It was funny. I was in Indianapolis two days ago, and I walked over.
St. Elmo's is the great steakhouse, and they have another great spot called Harry and Izzy's.

I said, I'm going to walk in here because Peyton's, you know, a well-known figure in Indianapolis.

And I walked in, sat at the bar, ate a cheeseburger hung out at the bar looked around and not one single person recognized me so

you know you never know you have your days of anonymity and you have your days of people just trying to figure it out so apparently they've either forgot about Payton or don't care about me and Indy I got either one of those going for me We need a fourth is the name of the podcast.

New episodes releasing every Monday on the Sirius XM app, the SiriusXM PGA tour radio channel.

Brian, can you just tell me why it is that you took this on as a project, given that you're working a ton?

I think the last time we had you on, you were the biggest recipient of dollars in the history of cameo the last time that we had you on. Why did you take on this project?

I'll take your word for that, Dan. I listen, I love golf.

I have grown to love these two. And, you know,

I've been in this podcast game for, I don't know, like six years or so and doing some documentary style interviewing stuff. And

for me, it was really about shifting to, it is about golf, but I think it is equally comedy. And I just, I wanted to have some fun with it, with the guests that I was bringing on and not be so.

not not be looking for such in-depth conversation, but have a lot more fun. And these guys are great.
The smartless guys are great. And yeah, so far we've been having a great time with it.

Kenny, I love your evolution. You're doing stand-up comedy now, right? I've done it a couple of times.
If you want to get behind it and get this show off the ground, let's talk on the side.

I have your number.

So I made a movie called Wiffleball, which you helped promote. Thank you.

And then over the holiday, the last Christmas holiday, I made up what I thought was funny, a 30-minute stand-up act to precede the 30-minute movie and the whole thing being a show.

I did it in New York and Las Vegas. And anyone out there, anyone, we're starting at Netflix.
We'll go down to Freevie if you're you're listening.

Whoever wants us, we would like this to be a show. Connor, you are looking at Kenny Manning.
Cooper, Cooper.

Excuse me. I'm sorry, Cooper.

Were you in Indianapolis not recognizing?

It sounded wrong coming out of my mouth. Connor Manning.
I'm laughing. There's another one.

I'm laughing. We need a fifth.
And there's Connor over there. Waiting.
Will someone let me play with him? No, sorry, Connor.

I'm laughing at the way that you look at Kenny every time he starts talking. You seem to be amused before he speaks.

I am. And I think that's kind of the whole reason this

little feast of works.

Brian and I try to keep it relatively in the fair way with little nuggets of asinine behavior.

But Kenny is in the rough, in the bunker, in someone else's bunker, eating someone else's ham and cheese sandwich out of their bag and drinking their beer and I adore every minute of it. Yes,

he is a delight to go to work with and it's funny. I mean these podcasts are great and all but it's much more fun doing it with two guys that you really like being around.

And I think that's kind of the way this whole this whole podcast works is we're adding guests that we would want to play golf with anyway.

I'm, you know, I've been around long enough to not, we, you know, when you go, God, I'd love to have those four hours back. That's not fun.

So we're getting the right guys who appreciate the love of the game, so to speak.

Cooper, how much of your regular day is consumed with anything surrounding your son from reading things or watching clips or just thinking about Texas football? I watch nothing.

I read nothing, which is liberating.

And I go to the games and, you know, we could and just be a regular dad. How does this work with Kenny and Brian in terms of watching Texas football?

Do you have any sort of investment in Texas football now, Brian? That is such an interesting question because we started this. We were, you know, spoiler.

I don't know if you know how the business works, Dan, but you know, we pre-taped a lot of these. All right.
We've been working on it for a few months. And I'm a big University of Georgia fan.

And I started

like because we have this relationship where we all rib each other. And I was ribbing him about Texas and, oh, you know, we're going to kick your ass this year.

And I can't wait to be at the game in Athens and November 16th. And now I've gotten to know him and I've gotten to

really like him. And now I'm like, God, this is his son.
What am I doing? This is weird. Like, this is his, this is now my friend's son who's playing his balls off and playing for his life.

And now, what am I doing? And let me be clear. I'm still going to root for the University of Georgia, but I now like

I'm also rooting for them a little bit. It's funny, Dan, as you get older and you start to know people, you really,

it's challenging to be loyal to a certain team. I mean, you meet guys and you pull for them, whether it's basketball or any sport.

You know, I grew up a Saints fan, but then you meet a good guy and he's all of a sudden, you know, like Daniel Jones is a great kid. You know, he had a tough time in Giants.

I'm rooting the heck out of him in Indy.

And it's just, you follow good coaches, you follow good people. And, you know,

I admire the folks who are just hardcore. They love their team.
I don't care if Saddam Hussein is calling plays. I'm pulling for him with all I got.

That's not the way I'm lined up. I'm pulling for good dudes.
Cooper, last year you made headlines, intentionally or unintentionally, when Texas was taking on Oklahoma.

And the headlines were really your hat which some describe as a bit much or ridiculous where did you buy this hat how did you travel with this hat what you it seems you can't even see around the front of it yes if you've never been the Texas OU Red River rivalry is an amazing event it was I've only been to two of them now and It's essentially a state fair, a huge state fair, and there just happens to be a football game going on in the middle of it.

I think some people are there eating cotton candy and riding rides and not realizing there's a hundred thousand people cheering in a stadium. But I had, uh, I was a little nervous as always.

I'd had two Bloody Marys, and I walked into the state fair and just wearing a normal baseball cap. And I saw the most obnoxious cowboy hat I'd ever seen.

It looked like it should be serving guacamole in the middle of it. And I said, I'm wearing that today.
And it was $23.

And it was sunny, it was hot. And

I was just

Where is it? But see,

here's the great thing about Kitty or about Cooper is that he would wear that. He would wear that and not, and he, yeah, there were no comments about it.
He's just sitting there wearing it.

We show up. All right.
He, you know, he's like a big Austin guy now. I think I can say you're spending a little time in Austin now because of your son.
And we show up to do a recording.

He's wearing a full-on, like snappy, bangly shirt with a, with a respectable guest with no comment, no, like

an apology.

It looked like his mom dressed him up. The Cub Scouts were having Western pioneer days or something.
And little Coop. Do you have the shirt to show us, Coop? Can you pull it out? Because it was.

No, he's in someone's laundry room. I mean, can I? I had a little, I had a little internet panic this morning.
It was out, so I got to get in a car and I broke into a friend's house.

That's why I'm in. I'm literally,

if I'm arrested in mid-show, like because I've broken broken in the alarm, I don't know how to fix it.

Dan, can I, can I just say the whole relationship, and we really do get along well, but, but I'd met Cooper a few times and worked with him, Brian, just from the TV, and just immediately, you know, we just start joking around.

They like to give me shit. I'm the old guy.
I have an unconventional game. I'm the Jameis Winston of golf, if you will.

But our whole relationship almost spoiled because Brian is an addictive gambler and has to bet on the game. And so he sets up this game.
I'm like a 20. I don't even have a real handicap.

I took down Austin Reeves, that poor bastard, the Lake. He's a great player, and I made him lose because of my inefficiency.

I accept the blame, but they took money off me day one and day two in our first meeting. We need a four.

I'm going to be posting this video.

I don't care if anyone looks at my Instagram or not, but you're going to want to see it today. I've got this video.
I'm posting it today of Kenny Main

putting.

And then, Dan, you're going to understand exactly why

Cooper looks at Kenny the way that he does. No, no, no.

Some people think it's cheating. I am trying, I'm a vessel of the history of golf, and I'm paying respect to the great, late Sam Sneed.
I emulated his putting style as a youth.

And here I am today, still doing it. Kenny, you are a rudderless vessel.

Combing waters that have never been swum in before.

Hey, Dan, can I take the bills on the eliminator? Because I'm doing my forum right now. We got a tournament on Wednesdays.
You guys are dead down there, right?

We need a fourth is the name of the podcast. New episodes releasing every Monday on the Sirius XM app.
Full episodes on the Smartless Media channel on YouTube.

We've got a game we're going to play for you, real or fake podcast. I would have guessed this was a fake one.

Kenny Main, Brian Baumgartner, and Cooper Manning, because why would those three people get together?

But before we do that, Cooper, can you give me, in the Manning household, the greatest fight between the three brothers that is still talked about to this day in childhood or anywhere in life is what?

Well,

we lived in the garden district in New Orleans, and it's kind of these old historic homes, you know, everything's old in New Orleans.

But they would have these little old ladies that would tour the garden district, and they would walk by. And so we'd be out there throwing football.

And every now and then, when a big tour group would come by, we would stage a big fight and just start arguing and then F-bombs, and then all of a sudden, it's just

these little old ladies instead of taking pictures of beautiful houses, they're just taking pictures of

three jackasses rolling around in the front yard, beating the hell out of each other. So, it made for I thought it, I thought it elevated the trip.

You know, these people are from Europe, so I thought at least they get a little taste of something in New Orleans, they might not forget.

Uh, Chris Cody, let's uh hit the imaging and let's play our new game with Cooper, Kenny Main, and the bomber.

Listen up, time to think fast. Is this a real or fake podcast? We'll give you five podcasts.
You guys can collectively decide if that podcast is a real podcast or a fake podcast.

First one up, Seahawks Stories with Jim Zorn.

Kenny, this is, but we don't have an episode where

he doesn't talk about Seattle. I'm saying fake, but you have to know.
This one's on you, Kenny. I just saw Jim Zorn a month ago.
I'm gonna say yes.

I think he was at Chef O'Connell looking for something to do. Yes, it's a thing.
It's yes. Jim Zorn does indeed co-host a podcast called

Seahawks Stories.

There you go. He's doing a great job.

We could very well call Kenny's part of Weening Afford Seattle Stories, and we wouldn't miss a beat. Yeah, next one: Carpool with David, Derek, and Darren Carr.

Yeah, I believe that one.

You think it's a yes?

That's a no.

That's a good title.

I want to get behind that. If it's not real, let's make it real.

Best pool, not an option.

It is a fake podcast.

But there is a Darren Carr, so they can conceivably make this one.

Next one. Tom Brocall.
Now hear this.

No, no, he's just fly fishing. He's done.
He's not doing that. He may be done, but this is an active podcast that you can still listen to.
The RSS feed is still alive. Wow.

He hasn't posted a new episode in several years, but it's real.

Oh, that's... Come on.

It existed.

That's the better in the bomber form. I would not pay that bet.

No, I would not pay that bet.

That's dead. Welcher.
Next one up. Dirt basketball with Detliff Shremp.

He's just golfing. He's another Seattle reference.
Thanks.

No, I don't think it's real. I think he would have told me.

It is fake.

Although, he needs to get on dirt basketball. Yes.
And last one is

the Kenny can snip out a fake or a real anything involving the state of Washington. We didn't check it out.

Last one.

Hate to say it with Josh Dumel.

That's Brian's area. Hollywood, what do you got?

It sounds so not real at all, but I'm going for the fake out. I'm going to say it's real.

It is fake.

Gentlemen, it was a pleasure. Look at Baumgartner throwing F-bombs.
He's furious in that NSF cough

broadcast from. Hey, Dan, we will change your game.
It's like the Hank Haney one-slice fix video. Come on our show.
We'll get you out there. You'll be having a good time.
These three guys are funny.

And Cooper, I almost called him Connor again, is the funniest of the Mannings. We need a fourth.
New episodes every Monday, SiriusXM app, and full episodes on the Smartless Media channel on YouTube.

A pleasure, gentlemen. Thank you for making the time.
We're training it. Thanks, Dan.

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Mr. Mr.

Shirt, if I may say for a second, Miami, they were simulating the snap count the entire game and they were clapping at the line of scrimmage.

And the only thing I want to see clapping are them cheeks on Mrs. Met in my face, Mike Shirt.
All right, so that's one thing. Stugats.
They're a bunch of cheaters, Dan.

And you know who should be cheating? Mrs. Met on Mr.
Met. And he can watch if he wants.
This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Well, I just got in from doing the top five outside Muggy, by the way. But you know what? I just hit that made me feel so much better.
A nice little liquid IV.

Got the water, 16 ounces, poured it inside of the bottle. She looked hydrated.
Guzzled it down because it's delicious.

And what this one had that others don't, because liquid IV has a lot of different things. This one had the L-thiony with the caffein.

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Jessica is going to join us here to talk some college football. Zaszlo is going to to be, you're going to be game day.
You don't have to travel this week. Yeah, I'm excited.
I'm here.

We got College Football Campus Tour for ESPN Radio. We're going to be broadcasting from our Airstream from Fan Zone, which is on the stadium grounds on Saturday morning.
It's not a campus tour.

I don't know if you understand, but the stadium is not on campus. You ever been to the University of Miami? Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Oh, yeah, because it's a campus tour.

It sounds like you have lives there. I don't know if you understand the implication of a campus.
For someone who lives in Miami, you're going to have a quarterback. Campus.

Have you ever watched a football game? Campus. Okay, very good.

Tony, before we get to Jessica, I've been hearing that a parlay came to you on the way to work. Dan, some things you think about, right? We're building up parlays.

You're like, oh, yeah, Mike Evans, over 50 and a half. You do all these different things.
And then sometimes things just get dropped into your lap.

This was an incredible story of things dropping into my lap divinely, may I add. Okay.
So I'm heading over to the Metro Rail. Metro is already rolling in.

I have to run up the stairs, which is obviously embarrassing, running after the the stairs. Like we talked about yesterday.
I think it was number two. It was number two.
Running up the stairs.

Hold on. The door's closing.
I'm running in embarrassingly. Put my arm in.
I'm able to open the doors. I get in, right? But the problem is that cart packed.
It's like a thousand people in that cart.

So I'm standing. So I look over to the cart next to me.
That one's got an empty seat. So I get out of that cart at the next stop and I roll over to the next one, find my seat, sit down kind of midway.

I'm on my phone checking, you know, scores, checking news, checking Twitter. And then I just feel this phone be kind of like put to my face.
So I have my headphones on, I'm not paying attention.

I kind of look over, and then it's this lady who she's like, Hey, can you check this for me? And I'm like, Check this for you. So I kind of like zoom in on what she's what she's asking me to check on.

Let's put it up on the screen. It was a parlay that she built.
She's like, This is my first bet ever. Can you check it out for me?

And I'm like, You just give off parlay. And I'm like, Yeah, yeah, I'll check it out for you.
And I look at him, I'm like, Bill's money on okay. I think the 20 and a half is probably 30 and a half.

She probably missed it. Someone making their first bet ever.
He's putting together a five-leg parlay.

So

Roy is like writing down these bets right now. It's a good parlay.
Dan, all of a sudden, I look, I'm like, Josh Allen over one and a half. I'm like, okay.
James Cook over 48 and a half Russian.

I'm like, okay. Dalton Kincaid over 20 and a half for seniors.
I'm like, damn, this is actually pretty good. I'm like, yeah, this looks good.

She's like, should I singles bet it or should I all parley it together? And I was like, this is your first bet? She's like, yeah. And I'm like, all right, parlay.

This is the generate you're talking to. Yeah,

I want that to go on the screen again. Put it back on the screen.
Billy is watching.

Billy is going to be able to get a story. he can make scepticism.
He doesn't believe this story. He doesn't believe any of it.
Zoom out on this picture, please. Zoom out on this picture.
Keep going.

Keep going. It seems like it's real.
Keep going. I need more.
I don't think that's. Oh, that's all you got, though.
That's all they got. Yeah, so you took a picture of your phone.

Is that my hand? No. I don't know.
It's hard to tell. Tough to tell.
Yeah. Tough to tell.
It's not his hand. That's not his hand.

Let me see your hands. Turn it around.
It's tough to tell. Put a phone in it.
Also, not my phone. That looks like it can be.

Let me see the crevice between the phone. Does this story come complete with an ending?

The ending is I put the bed in myself because I was like, this is no way that I'm not being given this parlay, looking at it for a first time, and it's like, yeah, this is actually pretty good.

Dude, I'm locking it in. Jessica, how do you feel and welcome? How do you feel about game day being in Miami, Zaszlo, being in the fan zone that's not a campus?

Well, let me ask you guys this first. Do you guys think Florida is a good football team? Not really.

Then there's your answer, Dan.

It's a game against a good, it's a good football team versus a not good football team when there's a lot of games that are probably going to be a couple good football teams. Indiana, Illinois, hello.

Oh, but you can't send game day to Indiana, Illinois when you've got Miami in the top five. It's a fair criticism, and a lot of people are heated about this.
And I think Jess is speaking to something.

I don't think Florida is as bad as other people say. They have two losses.
They lost at what became a ranked team. I know USF is now others receiving votes.
What would the other option have been?

Norman. So

Utah, Texas Tech. Utah, Texas Tech, Big Noon is at.
They've already done the double up on Big Noon.

So I think the argument against it should probably be Illinois, Indiana, but they've already done that.

And if they want to go back-to-back years with Kirk Signetti not being pressed on his non-conference schedule, Tulane will miss. Tulane will miss anyone.
Get out of there. I mean, there's a lot.

There's a lot of good games. Get out of here.
And that one's on ESPN, too. I don't know.
There's no FSU Miami in a couple weeks that you could have done if you wanted Miami.

Well, if you wanted Miami, your only opportunity to come to Miami is this one, probably. Like, you can go to Tallahassee, which, as we know, is the absolute worst.

We'll see if they're actually there in a couple of weeks, but they wanted some novelty. They wanted a different look.

This is as I've done my own reporting on this because it doesn't really make sense. There are ranked versus ranked matchups out there.
Miami, I can tell you Miami was always at the top of their list.

Yes, and if there's a team to blame for this, it's probably South Carolina getting smashed at home by Diego Pavia that kind of took Mizzou, South Carolina off the table.

Jess, how do you feel about Diego Pavia? I think he's the frontrunner for the September Heisman this year, Dan. There's a lot of SEC quarterbacks so far this season that have disappointed us.

Garrett Nussmeyer, Lenoris Sellers, obviously he's dealing with injury too. DJ Lagway, Arch, of course, who was actually the frontrunner for the real Heisman.
And that probably is no longer the case.

Daco Pavia, as expected, just having a tremendous season. And now he is petitioning once again for another season of eligibility.
That's not exactly what's happening.

What's happening is that he went to Juco, and so they had an injunction that allowed him to play play this season but apparently his attorney was also arguing that the four-year eligibility rule is anti is a anti-competitive so anyways that's a whole side tangent about Dago Pavia but he's playing really well through two games this season was I think the best quarterback via passer rating in college football and then of course they beat South Carolina this past weekend by a lot of points.

South Carolina had to play without Lenore Sellers in the second half, but he's not only a great passer, Dan, not only an exciting quarterback, but you'll see him lay someone out with a block here and there.

And it's probably not good for long-term health and security, but it is awesome to watch. Your quarterback just go out there and bam, first down.

Jess, why are you broadcasting live from like the haunted mansion? It seems like

that's a door.

That's what we like to know. This actually is the door.
This is the transfer portal. This is the portal that players go in and out of when they transfer.
Reporting live from the transfer portal.

There is something about that door. What is that material?

That looks like something you'd find in a castle.

Can you open that door and look for Jeremiah Smith? I will do that. It's actually leather, Dan.
The door is leather.

Lehman found this door at a salvage yard in somewhere in Upper Manhattan, and it was allegedly from a church, but it does have a peephole, which does beg the question, was it really from a church?

Or was it from a house of ill repute? I'm not sure if we'll ever know. It's a good door, though.
It's a fine

door. It could be.
You were making some faces while Mike was talking, and I don't know which was the thing that you were objecting to. She tends to to do that with me.
I do, Mike.

And I also am very expressive in general. So it's not just you.
I make faces at everyone, but I received a text message while you were talking.

I won't say who it's from, but it said death taxes, and Mike Ryan trying to make the argument that the team UM is playing against is better than they actually are when they stink.

So that was the, I received that text message. I reacted to that text message while you were talking because you said Florida is really not that bad.
I happened to give Ethan or Taylor my best.

It was neither. It was neither.

Give them my best. Look, Look, you're a hate NAS hater.
I have my best.

The whole thing is a hate NAS hater vibe.

I happen to agree with you. Florida's not that bad.
I mean, it took LSU,

the whole Florida LSU debacle, and I missed most of it because I was at the Northern Texas A ⁇ M game, but

Florida threw five picks, and LSU still almost didn't pull that one off. I think that goes to show Florida's defense is fairly legit.

DJ Lagwaite just can't throw five interceptions in a football game, and it's unclear if that's something he will get better at not doing at this point in the season. But yes, Mike,

I wasn't making a face at you. I was making a face at the text message.
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It's the holiday season. Fantasy football probably not going your way like most of America.
Your football team, hopefully you're still in the mix.

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Don Lebatard.

I don't like smutty either. Stugats.
Women stay home in the kitchen where they belong. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Let's see what her reaction is to a couple of press conference sounds we've played the last couple of days. Let's begin with Brian Kelly.
He has since apologized for this.

Let's get Jess's take on this sound. What are you seeing with your offense? Stop.
Really? Is that the first question? We won the game 20 to 10. Try another question.

What do you want me to tell you? I just laid it out for you. We played the game to win the game.
We played the game to win the game. All right.
How about third down then?

What is going on with third down?

It's one game.

Last game, we were great on third down. You're micro, you're looking at this from the wrong perspective.
LSU won the football game. Won the game.
I don't know what you want from me.

What do you want? You want us to win 70 to nothing against Florida to keep you happy? No, I think people want to know why you can't run the ball quite often. We can run the ball.

Did you see the last play of the game?

That's all you need. You just need one.

There's some ridiculous questions.

And I'm getting tired of it. That football team just worked their tail off to get an SEC win, and you want to know what's wrong.
You know what?

You're spoiled. You're spoiled.
This team is 17 and 1 at night. 17 and 1.
Give them some respect. How about that? Give them some respect instead of microanalyzing every little thing.

This is ridiculous. For a group of

seasoned reporters, that kind of question is so out of line. I do want to state LSU's EPA per rush against Florida, according to gameonpaper.com, minus 0.49.

That is in the one percentile for that statistic. This is ridiculous.
I think generally, I get what he's saying, and he's right.

When you play good football teams, and Florida, like we're debating currently, maybe is not that good of a football team, but when you play potentially good football teams, you really do only need a couple of plays.

You don't need to run the ball well the whole game. So I think he's trying to defend his team there and say, like, they, you know, they did enough to win, and that's what should matter.

The other point of that is that reporters are not coming into the press room to congratulate you and tell you what a good job you did the whole time. So it's just bad.
messenger once again.

Brian Kelly, just if he had said that in a chill way and it sounded like he was really trying to like defend his team for putting up a gutty performance and still winning despite struggling, then he doesn't have to apologize the next day, but instead he flies off the handle.

And my take on all of this is that he needs to go back to yoga because this was what he was like a lot of the time in the early years at Notre Dame.

and then after 2016 he started doing yoga apparently and he was a little bit chill after that but I think like he's starting to regress back into you know we saw him slam his fist on the table he's going back into like purple face Brian Kelly vibes and it's not a good place for him to be I don't know what you want from me Brian Kelly doing yoga is a funny visual put it on the poll please uh does purple faced brian kelly need to go back to yoga also find for me please why or how people fly off the handle i don't know i know what that expression means i don't know what the starting point on it is.

I do want to analyze just the beginning of that. I understand that the back and forth became contentious.
I don't think it's an unfair question to say, what are you seeing with your offense?

Like, it's not even, he's not, it's not even a negative question.

It's such super broad question. The tone, though, is kind of like, I know you think this is going to be happy, but what are you seeing? Like, the tone was like.

What are you seeing with your offense is pretty open and it was also like the three follow-ups that is like, I want you to say something bad here.

The idiom of flying off the handle originates from the literal danger of an axe head flying off its wooden handle when swung vigorously. A sudden and uncontrolled event that could cause severe injury.

Doing it off the top of your head. Nice, Tony.
You're good that way. Let's play the Dabo sound.
Yes, Jessica. What were you going to say?

I was just going to think of another person we could blame for this.

Like, I don't know which reporter this was, but maybe the SID for LSU needs to pick someone that they know is going to ask a cupcake to start out next time so that they can start out with like, oh, what a good job you did.

You won yay. And then get to, so by the way, you guys stink at third down, right? And maybe you would have been buttered up by then.

But, anyways, I, you know, if we're going to blame anyone, it's Brian Kelly, of course. Let's get the Dabo sound and play that for Jessica, please.

If they want me gone, if they tired of winning, they can send me on the way because that's all we've done is win.

So, if they tired of winning, we've had we've won this league eight out of the last 10 years. Is that not good? I'm just asking, is that good?

I don't know if that's good or not to win your league eight out of ten years, to go to the playoffs seven out of ten years, be in four national championships, win it twice.

Yeah, we're a little down right now. Take your shots, but I got a long memory in case y'all don't know.
We'll be all right. We'll bounce back.

This is a program built to last, always has been, always will be.

And I would just say, if you give up on us, if you don't believe on us because we've lost two games down to the last trade and we're one, you didn't believe in us anyway, so it don't matter.

You wasn't all in anyway. If y'all in, you burn the ships, man.
There ain't no exit strategy. Like, you're freaking all in.

And, hey, listen, I mean, if Clemson's tired of winning, they send me on my way, but I'm going to go somewhere else and coach. I ain't going to the beach.
Hell, I'm 55. I got a long way to go.

Y'all going to have to deal with me for a while. I got a long way to go.
I'm just getting going. I'm just now good enough to be a head coach.

This is only like a few minutes of what was just like a long, long rant of him saying basically, like, what the hell, guys?

Haven't I done enough for you? And it's another situation where it's like, get what he's saying, he's got a point. Chess, everything all right, coming to get you.
Ambulances.

I live in New York now, guys.

And people are getting frustrated with him because now it's been several years of the same story. It's like, all right, we're struggling.
We're going to make a change here.

We're going to do this here. We're going to do that there.
And I think Clemson fans felt like this year was finally coming together, right?

Like they have the defensive court, they made the big defensive coordinator higher. It's the second year with their new offensive coordinator and Kay Klubnik.

It was better last year, and maybe he'll get even better now, but that just hasn't been the case so far and it's kind of one of those things where it's like Dabo's got a point but I don't think he's the right messenger for this won this league eight out of the last 10 years is that not good I'm just asking is that good do you think he knows or is he like just saying that I think he knows well but how about this though hasn't had an AP top 10 finish in the past four seasons and has lost three games each of the past four seasons we've talked about the resume from 2015 to 2020 played in four national title games and won two of them but the last like that's not disputable.

But in that last, like, the last season, they lost three games and they won an ACC and they made it to the college football playoff. They, they looked all right in losing to Texas.
He, he has a point.

This guy was an interim head coach when he took over a program that was Clemsoning all the time and disappointing. He's bought the right for people to, you know, believe him.

They were saying this shit last year about Clemson and he made it to the CFP. Is that good?

Can I give you guys like a little team A versus team B comparison I saw on social media from Connor O'Guerra?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You nailed that.
That's apostrophe, Chris. Not like a, not like Frank O'Hara.
Oh, no, no, fool.

So team A, 10 and 6 overall, 7 and 5 versus power conference teams, 3 and 0 versus the ACC, 4 and 5 versus the SEC, 2 wins versus AP top 25. Would you say, or top 15, sorry?

Would you say that's a good team? Like 10 and 6 overall, 2 wins versus AP top 15. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, it's a solid.

That's a solid. That's a tough schedule.
Team B, 11-6 11-6 overall, 8-6 versus power conference teams, 8-2 versus the ACC, 0-4 versus the SEC, 1 win versus AP Top 15.

What would you say about that, Mike? Disappointing team.

Team A is Vanderbilt, and Team B is Clemson.

That's some good shit she just did right there. That's some good maneuvering, some good chess piece maneuvering she did there.
Like, that was like a deposition.

I think one team under their head coach is seven

is seven and one against ranked teams, and their only loss was like six overtimes to Georgia and that is of course Georgia Tech.

Last year SMU and Indiana showed us you can exist in these big mega conferences and avoid playing a super hard schedule and it seems as though Georgia Tech has its toughest conference game behind them.

Cal, it opens up really nicely for them. They have a very easy conference schedule and I know you like Cal from

their Twitter presence. Let me talk about Cal for a second, Mike.

This is like very navel-gazing, but I have been interviewed by several California-based media outlets about the Calgarythm over the past four months.

They're not letting this thing go, and I love that for them. And they have a great quarterback, and they are 3-0 right now.

But as all of the Cal fans on my Calgarhythm have pointed out, this Cal team will disappoint you in new and surprising ways all the time.

So while it looks like maybe it's all right in front of them, let's hold our horses for a little bit. Dan, do you want to know the origin of that? Tony, look it up.
I do want to also mention

Buzz Buzz.

Haynes King is unbelievable and if that is something that they can sustain over the course of the season because he missed a couple games last year because of health reasons, I do really like Georgia Tech and that's a well-coached team and a team that is very exciting to watch.

Give us some fresh outrage. Anything on the AP poll, anything that you've got for us that is just freshly baked Jessica outrage? I will give you something, Dan.

This has been a trend that I've seen pick up steam this season. I know there's a very popular college football podcast that sort of does this on their show.
And I think that,

well, we'll get into it.

So I have noticed more and more that I have seen people on social media especially go after individual AP poll voters and not just be like, wow, your ballot sucks, did you forget that this game happened?

But like literally go on witch hunts and like attack these people. And it's gotten very personal.
And I think that that probably should stop.

Like I think it's one thing to be like, this ballot sucks, do better. And I think it's another thing to just go way over the top and like go on these witch hunting campaigns against AP poll voters.

Because guys, guess what? The AP poll doesn't choose the national champion anymore. It matters.
It doesn't choose who's in the playoffs. It matters less and less.
It's an interesting thing.

It's a data point. But we don't have to like kill people over the AP poll if they have a bad ballot.
Some people just, you know, they... they are on a beat.

Like I, if you've ever been someone whose job is to go to a college football game game for a living and be a media member like on a specific beat it is very hard to watch the other 75 games happening that day and then they have to turn in their ballots like right away right at the end of all of the action I think it's like due early Sunday morning and then it comes out so I empathize because some people do miss things and they screw it up and I've seen voters like double down when they've been called out and and it has made me a little cringe cringe a little bit but I just think like as a fan I don't I'm not gonna go after someone because they had Notre Dame ranked 10th after this week because they might have just made a mistake and if not it doesn't really matter because there's a shit ton of other voters that had Notre Dame way lower so it's gonna be okay to your point they're going at these AP voters for very clearly not watching the games I mean there were some ballots that had Florida ranked 10th and USF unranked after USF

beat Florida but the coaches don't watch the games either like if your main central point of attack is you're not watching the games, like there's no way the coaches watch the games.

I'm just saying like I it's fine to be like, hey, your ballot stinks. Like, what's up with your ballot?

But it's another thing to be like, you're a effing loser, and you should lose your job and you should be ashamed of your. Like, I'm seeing, I'm seeing crazy.

It's social media, so obviously, there's extremes of people like going after A-people voters, but like, it's such a crazy thing to waste your time freaking out about, in my opinion.

And I've seen all of the reaction about Notre Dame being ranked after losing the first two games of the season.

And the crazy thing is, is Dan, do you remember who was ranked 24th last year after week three? No, obviously. Of course you don't, because it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter, guys.

It really doesn't matter right now.

I do think the media needs to cover a little more, though, if we're killing AP voters and doing literal witch hunts. It's not something I've seen reported at all.

Just for the record, the counterbalance, it seemed to have mattered when it came to where game day selected. Well, I'm not talking about rankings.
I'm talking about my own eyes.

I've watched Florida play three games now, and they just haven't been very good. It was Illinois.
What was Illinois? It should have been the choice. It was ranked 24th last year.

Oh, really? Oh, okay. Interesting.
Thanks, Billy. That's interesting.
Well, let's talk about Illinois and Indiana.

That's the first.

Sorry, I was trying to hit the Wild Billy Wednesday sound, and I hit the drone sound.

We're out of time, Jessica. Thank you for being on.
We're talking about it. Let me give you my stat.

All right.

Finish a sound. First ranked matchup between Indiana and Illinois since 1950, I believe.
I mean, come on, that's electric. Go Midwest.