Local Hour: Roy Blames His Wife (feat. Umpire Joe Rizzari)

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Chris, why are you laughing?

Because we just got Good Friday energy in here.

Roy burnt his hand, and I can't wait to hear how.

Fantastic.

We should get to that later.

Let's tease that.

I feel like people will stick around for that.

You're laughing that Roy burnt his hand?

I appreciate that.

Well, no, I'm curious about that because Roy came in and was like, I burnt my hand.

And when Roy says something, I'm like, I got to follow that.

No, but...

But not really, because like you said, Roy burnt his hand.

I'm like, what happened?

Like, save it for air.

So, like, you're not really following it.

You don't actually care what happened to Roy's hand.

You're just trying to fill time on this show with Roy's trauma.

No.

Were you cooking Roy?

Yes, sir.

That's exactly what I was doing.

Wow, that wasn't my guess.

I thought it was an iron.

You thought it was a curling iron.

Like, with what?

Exactly.

There's no camera.

They could have been a curling iron, a regular iron, any type of iron.

Golfing iron, whatever.

They all.

Golf iron?

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't think that.

Cast iron skillet.

Yeah, kind of.

Yeah.

I forgot that.

Well, we'll save it for later.

No, no, go ahead.

We're here now.

Go ahead now.

Okay.

As As a little treat to the Shadow Show audience, as a reward for them tailgating before the show, give them the most prized of possessions.

Roy has come in, and from his mouth, content has spilled.

All right.

So, yeah, I had some tricep steak that I seared and then put in the oven.

And then I took it out, put it on the stove, put the steak on the cutting board.

And then Ani came in and said something that probably annoyed me or something and knocked me off my kirtur.

And then I forget I didn't have the oven bit on and touched the handle which just came out of the oven for about 30 minutes and on 425 and uh wait burn my blaming a need is a move that's crazy well i had to in this situation i went

you definitely don't your hand like she you're the one that grabbed it she didn't put it there it was your hand yeah but now my mind is off of the fact that hey this pan was in the oven piping hot i've done this move because with like a steak or a nice piece of red meat you want to sear it get that sear but then you want to finish it in the oven so i've done the move of putting it in in there, but you got to remember, Roy.

Yeah, I got to remember.

Yeah, unfortunately, I did not remember, and now I got blisters on my finger.

This is a crazy lack of accountability.

My wife probably said something that annoyed me.

No, no, it wasn't probably.

She did say something that annoyed me.

It wasn't probably.

What was it?

I don't remember.

I got a burnt hand.

It made me forget what she said.

I don't know.

Did you immediately blame her for it?

Yep, I did.

Okay,

all of that sounds flawed.

How?

Well, you burnt yourself with your own adult hand and your own adult will and your own adult choices.

You can react to your wife's annoyances however you wish to react.

Many people don't react by immediately burning their hand.

The story delivered.

Sounds like a classic scene out of a 1970s sitcom.

A 70s sitcom.

Yeah, when you could just say, oh, my wife did this.

I'm not at fault for anything.

That would not be written into a show today.

No.

In the 80s, that would be a big thing to start an episode.

No, we're not blaming all the wives for anything anymore.

Or husbands.

Are you longing for that time?

I'm confused here.

I'm not.

Maybe for his turn.

You wonder if Roy is longing for the early 1970s?

That happened with the Jeffersons or something.

This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stu Gats Podcast.

This is a legitimate punishment.

I am uncomfortable.

I am wearing leather in South Florida.

It is tight and hot and steamy and already sweaty in places that I'd prefer to not sweat.

I am Jesse Gemstone.

If it's not clear from the mutton chops, mutton chops that I am sure over the next three hours will fall off.

And these sunglasses, I can't really see anything.

Never mind being able to read my notes or the headset isn't in the right place.

I'm going to have difficulty doing today's show because of this outfit that is swampy in nature.

And look how happy Jeremy is.

You're happy because I am honoring the audience by doing a punishment that's supposed to feel like a punishment, unlike Billy doing the Ted Lasso and just throwing on a phony mustache.

That wasn't part of it.

The mustache gained me an egg.

Thank you.

It was.

He even said it goes above and beyond.

We reached out to UD and UD said that I think I have immunity the next two weeks as a result of this.

That's true.

Oh.

Yeah, you can't really make things up.

And even though we're shorthanded and I can't actually see what it is,

the board says, no, but it's not the theater of the mind when you're just lying.

Well, I mean, there's been no evidence that UD actually is in negotiation.

Well, but I don't think that's the evidence is, the evidence is that I don't lie and I don't make things up.

And so

that, no, you were perpetually doing that.

Did someone take my lying penalty out of here?

I can't actually see what it it is.

I'm saying there's no evidence that the UD thing is real.

But okay, there will be shortly because I'm negotiating.

I got a couple weeks off.

Let's see here.

You know what?

I don't have a lying one here anymore.

Did it ever exist?

Use to sell.

Minor penalty.

Two minutes.

Personal foul.

Personal and foul.

You're going to have to leave for a second, even though we're shorthanded.

You're going to have to leave for two minutes because you're offensive.

I want to talk about the baseball, and I also want to talk about the football.

But the first thing that I want to do is celebrate that finally guest booker extraordinaire Chris Cody has tracked down a guest that we've been trying to get for I'm going to say six weeks.

And do you want to give me any of the backstory here, Chris, before we show the video and who the guest who is who will be joining us in 20 minutes?

How did you finally find him?

Without giving too much away, I'd like the video to be the surprise on who the guest is, but how did it come to be?

I was made aware of this person and where he was, so I got a contact for, and I just had to kind of keep circling back.

I didn't get a response the first couple times, and I finally heard back last week, and I was just like, this will slap next week.

So, join us.

Okay, I just pulled off my ear

earphones that are a little sweaty, and it pulled off the mutton chop.

So, I'm going to need some help here shortly.

But let's go ahead and play the video for the audience.

And for the audio audience, just know this is the ump who got hit multiple times with with wild pitches and foul balls in his foul balls and so we will be talking to him in about 20 minutes but go ahead and play that video

the first one

Eric takes one doesn't fall to the ground no that time he just bent over you heard the pain

number two

still standing yeah so impressive crouched over and here's the third one

and that's when he goes down and on the third one he

right behind home plate, lays in the fetal position.

The coaches awkwardly walk over.

Stand over him.

So umpire Joe Rosari will join us today to tell us about what happened here because it seemed painful.

Get for me just the three different groaning sounds that he makes so that I could play them for him and get his actual reaction to all three of the sounds.

Play the entirety of the video again so people can enjoy.

So the audio audience, which will not have the pleasure of these particular videos, and put it on a poll as well, Juju at Labatard show,

is it always funny when someone else gets hit in the foul balls?

But listen to how the escalating O's come gutturally from his nether regions.

That one he's like, I can wear this.

Number two.

Ryan.

The first two are Homer Simpson-ish.

Yeah, the third one, he's just done.

I think it's important to note that this is definitely like 10 and under travel baseball.

So these are not, this is not high school baseball.

You might be thinking when you hear the ping off the bat and the velocity at which this is hitting this man in the nether regions.

No, no.

This is 10-year-old baseball for sure, and it makes it so much funnier.

The umpire's name is Joe, but when the coach said the way to stay alive, Brian, I thought he was talking to the ump.

But on the third one, I don't have proof that the ump is alive because he does go into the fetal position.

Not unlike, as I said, Tony when he

hurt his hip trying field goals.

I meant to ask follow-up questions on Tony, who says that he's suing me and Metalark, because I didn't ask him to do any of that.

Like, I learned he was kicking field goals when he started kicking field goals.

Like, I don't know how I'm responsible.

Is this Anid's fault?

Is this the fault of Roy's wife for annoying him that Tony hurt his hip?

Because I didn't ask Tony to do any of that.

Yes, it is.

Okay, we will blame Anid then.

She is a receptacle for our blame.

I have the sound of the guy saying, way to stay alive, Brian.

We're going to stay alive, Brian.

Good job, buddy.

I've got a lot of questions for this umpire, and I don't know how to tease something better than that.

Like, I don't, I believe time spent listening.

We're going to have a giant spike right now.

Many, many times people tune in and they're like, ah, Dan's there.

I don't, Cody's there.

I'm not interested.

Or Stugatz isn't there.

Or Zaz isn't there.

I don't want to listen anymore.

I don't want to watch anymore.

But I believe this guest and a grilling of follow-up questions will make this guest someone that people stick around for.

And when he sees you, he's going to be like, I like this show.

Yeah.

The games yesterday, I do not blame the Padres at all for feeling like an umpire ruined their season, ended their season.

The Cubs were in a position to Bartman.

They were,

their pitcher, Keller, hit two batters after Xavier Bogart was given, you know, just an end of season reaming by the umpire.

That will not be a strike next year.

They're changing Jeremy to Robots next year, correct?

Well, they're changing to the ABS system, so you'll have a couple of challenges,

which to me is the perfect hybrid between the two.

Like, if you have those two challenges and you get to continue to keep them when you're correct, that feels like the right way to go about it, to keep the humanity while still making up for moments like this.

Well, I want to talk for a second.

The Cubs, historically, I know that Joe Madden and the Cubs erased this, but historically, their fans have expected the worst and earned that expectation.

In fact, I saw that Jake Arietta and Ryan Dempster were the ones singing the seventh inning stretch yesterday.

And it's because they wouldn't dare to invite Kerry Wood and Mark Pryor to do it because the Marlins ended those two people and they associate those two people with we were better than the Marlins and the Marlins won the World Series so they brought Arietta and Dempster back to sing the seventh inning stretch and in the ninth inning they were prepared to cough that entire thing up.

Merrill hits a home run.

I told you yesterday I've liked the Padres a lot for three years and baseball's random, baseball's weird.

The Padres bullpin is championship worthy.

It's the best bullpin in the sport.

Ew Darvish has nothing left.

Eudarvish, it was sad to watch him go out there, get three outs, and they yanked him off the field as fast as possible.

So Merrill hits a home run to make it 3-1.

And Bogart, who he was great in the, Bogart's, excuse me, he was great in the series.

He's a professional hitter, and he worked the count to 3-2, and it was ball four.

It was obviously ball four, and I think the umpire got swept away with, I'm at Wrigley Field.

This is exciting.

I'm going to do something exciting here.

That did not deserve to be a strike call.

The Padres are mad afterward.

Do we have any footage of the Padres?

Were they like...

This was out of control to me.

Like the umpires are leaving the field, walking like from the field to their room and going through the dugout, and the Padres players have to be held back.

Yeah,

let's play the B-roll of that because the Padres did feel like their season was ended by the umpires, and it was, because what happened right after that, if you watched everything that happened after that,

the game would have gotten, first of all, two Tatis,

and the way

the rest of the inning played out, because there were two hit by pitches right after that, they would have tied the game.

They would have been able to tie the game and be in a more threatening position if they had not been gifted that out.

And so, Manny Machado, let's play the sound of Manny Machado getting testy with reporters afterward.

And I get it.

I get why the Padres would be emotional and bothered by this.

Let's listen to this.

I know it just ended, but how do you assess a season like this?

I mean, what type of question is that, dude?

My guy, how do I assess the season?

We just lost.

How do you think I assess it?

I don't know.

That's what I was asking.

You tell me.

What's a loss?

We lost.

How do you assess it?

It's a loss.

You lost.

Come on, dude.

I mean, you could ask better questions than that.

Let's go.

Come on.

Thanks, man.

Thank you.

You're going to wait till the last second to ask that question.

It's a good question.

Like, what's wrong with the question?

He looked happy, too, if we're going to be honest.

Oh, he's faking it.

He looked happy the way Tyreek Hill looked happy as he came off the field where we were all like, wait a minute, he shouldn't look that happy.

Is he faking happy?

Did you see the video like someone took following Tyreek Hill's ambulance?

I weren't following him, but they were like next to him on the expressway as he's being driven to the hospital and he's like FaceTiming his own.

He's still smiling.

Like

he seems content with like that injury, I guess, or he was like at peace with it.

I don't know.

Just seems like someone who doesn't really know how to control like all of his emotions either way.

Good or bad.

I don't know.

Can you get us that video?

Because while you've seen that video, when you're talking about that video, that would be a good video for all of us to see if you can get it to the video team because we have assessed what we have said is a strange reaction from Tyreek Hill.

But I do understand basically just about any reaction when you've just realized that your 36 million non-guaranteed next year went from I was going to get that 36 million to now I'm not guaranteed that 36 million.

I think any reaction after that that doesn't harm people is going to be an acceptable reaction, even if it is curious.

Because

I don't think that he could possibly be happy, but if I had to theorize why he was happy, it's because he doesn't have to play for these Dolphins anymore.

Like,

if there's anything to be seen here, maybe he feels like, okay, I don't actually have to run over the middle anymore for a team that's going to be 4-13.

I don't know.

That's going to be a big week for the Dolphins.

Against the Panthers, you see the big news.

The two offensive linemen that are out?

Chuba Hubbard's out, too.

It's a Rico Dowdle game, which is great for me because I picked him up a couple days ago in fantasy.

But, I mean, the Dolphins all of a sudden, a sneaky two and three, and a lot of people wrote them off, huh?

I don't know why you're assuming they're going to win a road game.

I'm just, it's a feeling.

I'm feeling good about this one.

Dolphins is sneaky two and three.

And then, you know, don't let this team get hot because if you look ahead after that, I mean, you may face the Ravens without Lamar Jackson.

That's a couple weeks away, so who knows?

The Chargers, obviously, that's going to be a test.

Chargers are also missing two key offensive linemen.

I'll keep bringing it up, folks.

Well, that's, you know, that's two weeks from now.

We don't know.

We thought the Chargers were, you know, a godly team, top tier, and then last week they kind of let us down.

So keep an eye on the Chargers this week for a preview of what next week game is.

And then there's the Browns.

The Browns are a mess.

You could be looking at a potentially...

Three and four team here, maybe, in a couple weeks.

Not going to do that with you.

Refuse to do that with you.

The Falcons.

All of those teams are looking at the Dolphins and saying we have an easy one coming up next against

trap.

It's how you trap them.

Classic trap game against the Dolphin.

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Hey, Jeremy, old buddy, old pal.

Hey, Mike.

I want to talk to you about Miller Light.

You and I have bonded over these last few weeks talking about our shared love of Miller Light.

That's right.

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We're approaching incredible partner status with Miller Light.

I mean, to think that people were celebrating at my bar mitzvah with Miller Light as they were a partner of this show is pretty incredible.

You're talking about the moments that are made better by making those times, those special times, Miller time.

Jeremy, there's nothing like cracking open Miller Light with your crew.

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Don Lebatard.

I may take it one step further.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

You're getting sexier by the moments.

Slow down.

We haven't even gotten.

Stugats.

Jason Sanders, you're unnoticed.

Oh, my God.

Oh, wow.

I love you, Duke.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

let's watch Billy's video here thank you for sending it Billy uh let's watch this video and you can just see Tyreek Hill in the back of the ambulance still smiling while on the FaceTime that he was on uh in the in the wheelchair uh this feels slightly invasive i regret doing this i don't i don't think that uh i don't think that whoever chose to fill their socials with i'm gonna chase this ambulance down um i i don't think that that person should have done that.

You guys see the opposite angle?

There was another angle of this same Tyreek video.

It's definitely not AI.

Definitely not AI where he happens to fall out of the ambulance.

Oh no.

Did that happen?

I mean, it's a different angle.

I'm not sure whether it was real or not.

See, look, oh, no.

Tyreek.

Oh, no.

For the wheels.

That is definitely not artificial intelligence.

That is obviously.

It's a nice landing.

He landed nicely.

It's bad to love AI.

I think I might love AI.

Put it on the poll, please, Juju, at Lebatard Show.

Is it bad to love AI?

The legs going up, man.

When you guys think,

is his leg crooked?

That's not right.

Oh, no.

I regret doing all of that.

I should have asked more questions before I followed Billy down a path.

I should know better after all.

I did have that video of the guy falling on the egg.

That was not me.

Okay, I just shouldn't have rewarded any of the behavior

from anyone chasing down Tyreek Hill's ambulance.

But

when I think of

surprising games this year in football, because you mentioned the Giants beating the Chargers, the Giants, I believe, in that game were less than a touchdown underdog.

The biggest surprise point spread-wise, Jeremy, see if I've got this wrong.

I think Cleveland winning at home as a seven-point dog

against Green Bay was until last night the biggest surprise of the season.

But what the 49ers are doing is really and truly unbelievable because Kyle Shanahan's supposed to be bad in one score game.

Statistically, he is bad.

He has Mac Jones starting last night and it does make me wonder to see Mac Jones look like that after I see what he looks like in New England, what he looks like in Jacksonville.

To see Mac Jones throw 49 passes and only two of them be truly inaccurate, to see Mac Jones walk into the stadium looking this way with his pregame outfit when he doesn't have,

among others, he does not have his first wide receiver, his second wide receiver, his third wide receiver.

He doesn't have his top tight end.

He doesn't have his top defensive end.

And obviously the 49ers don't have their top quarterback.

To see Kyle Shanahan do that with Brock Purdy, to get to a Super Bowl with Jimmy Garoppolo and have Mac Jones look that way.

I know, Billy, that you in God Bless Football and in other places have been critical of Kyle Shanahan because he doesn't win those one-score games, but he seems to have an ability to make quarterbacks look better than they are because the other thing that the 49ers are is four and one when they don't have an interception this year and they don't have a rushing touchdown.

So they have not had a rushing touchdown.

They have not had an interception and and they're 4-1.

That last night was the most impressive victory I have seen a football team have this entire season because it doesn't make any sense that they would win that game.

That's Mac Jones' reaction when he was asked about an interception he threw, and then he said the defensive guy didn't have to do anything.

I threw it right at him.

Did Bill Belichick ruin Mac Jones?

Did Mac Jones play for Urban Meyer?

Who was the coach of Mac Jones in Jacksonville that made Mac Jones look that constipated.

And it's still a bunch of underneath stuff, but he was accurate on everything.

Two of 49 passes were inaccurate last night.

And that's suitable.

Like, I didn't know.

When I saw this suit, I thought they were going to get their ass kicked, but then they win.

So maybe he's doing something right here.

Is that, what kind of red is this?

Is it a magenta or something?

What is that?

So he's got a half red, half black jacket.

He's got shoes with no socks on.

It looks like it's a bit of a tuxedo bottom on the pants.

The pants look a little bit high, too, do they not?

With the stripe down the side, the red stripe.

It's a screen style.

It's scarlet, I'm being told.

Scarlet red.

Well, we're not qualified as a group to talk about anyone else's fashion, but this looks ridiculous.

I'm with you.

Jeremy likes it.

I don't agree.

I think he looks great.

Especially after the win.

It does look better after you win a game like that.

If he had gotten destroyed, it wouldn't have been good.

Also, it was Doug Peterson, and it was last year.

that he was in Jacksonville.

You guys realize that?

That was last season?

Okay.

He wasn't honestly that bad.

I'm looking at it.

It's crazy.

He was better with Brian Thomas Jr.

than Trevor Lawrence was, which continues to be the case.

I'm going to say this again because I want everyone to see what's happening in San Francisco.

No wide receiver one, no quarterback one, no tight end one, no wide receiver two, no wide receiver three, no defensive end one.

And I want to get into the decisions made at the last part of the game.

We'll get into it with Dominique Foxworth.

He's going to join us later.

Michelle Beadle is going to join us as well.

No comments, okay?

Don't say anything to them about how I'm dressed.

Let's just wait for a natural reaction to see what it is that they have to say.

But you guys saw the way that game ended, okay?

First of all, you didn't have to watch anything except for about the last three minutes of regulation and then overtime.

Matthew Stafford makes it look very easy late in a game.

Puka Nakua makes it look very easy late in a game.

That throw to Atwell late by Matthew Stafford was crazy good, but the Rams got the game one, and then Zaslow hates the punching of the football, but the punching of the football on the goal line with Williams knocks the ball out, and

they kept going to Williams, and they went to Williams late on fourth and one, and they should.

He's great, but he was not great at the end of the game.

He lost that game, and at the end of the game on fourth and one, I'm not used to coaches going for it there still after all this time.

I don't think a lot of them would have.

I think a lot of them would have taken the field goal in the tie game, even though the 49ers have had kicking, I'm sorry, the Rams have had kicking issues.

And so I want to ask Dominique about all that because maybe the tide has indeed turned and it is normal to trust your offense above all things.

But Al Michaels was saying at the end of the game, this is why you pay McVay big big bucks.

This is why you trust your play call.

This is why you trust your quarterback.

And I'm looking and I'm like, what I trust is Fred Warner is awfully close to the line of scrimmage.

And Fred Warner knows what it is that you're going to do.

And Fred Warner is not a blockable human being.

And so they get stopped on fourth and one to end the game.

And it's the single biggest surprise I've seen in the sport this year.

Do you guys have a nominee for me?

on anything that because Cleveland winning against Green Bay, but Cleveland was at home.

like that's stafford and we know that's a good rams team like all of us would say that that is a good rams team that the two losses the rams have this season they could easily be unbeaten i don't know that the falcons are very good but they were five and a half point favorites against carolina who beat them 30 to nothing That's a Carolina winning anything 30 to nothing.

No, but Carolina is an easy game.

They're going to make the Dolphins two and three this weekend because Billy's totally unafraid of them.

Well, no, not just that.

I mean, we mentioned the Browns real quick.

They did, if you guys remember correctly, they made a quarterback switch.

Dylan Gabriel is going to be taking over the helm.

He's got a rough one this week against the Vikings.

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I mean, it seemed like you probably lose that.

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That's a rival of theirs.

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So, I mean, don't look too far ahead.

Week seven might be kind of a get-right game.

A potential matchup of left-handed Hawaiian quarterbacks

and Dylan Gabriel.

So a real rarity.

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Don Libertard.

Punctuate this segment with what is your strike three call.

Strike one would be strike!

And then you stand up and you give a good point to the right.

Stugats.

That's the same for strike two.

But strike three, you get down low, you got your hands behind the catcher.

All right, the right arm goes up into the air.

Yeah!

And then you finish it with the punch.

The right arm flings way up into the air.

And you finish the body.

I wish everybody's a bad guy.

The audio's great.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

We have to stop right now, stop all things, because the great Joe Rosari is now with us, and we've been trying to find him for a long time.

And he has made himself available back in August as the home plate umpire.

He was hit in the privates three times in one one game.

And I have a ton of questions.

Joe, thank you for making the time.

I am assuming that at this point you have shaken off all that pain or has there been lingering effects?

No, no, we've shaken off all that pain.

All right, so let's go through these one at a time here.

How many innings apart were these three horrible foul tips?

Please watch this with us here.

Actually, before you answer that question, just watch this with us.

And at the end of this, just take me through your thoughts in general.

Okay.

Ouch.

Number two.

Stay alive, Ryan.

You're going to have some trouble.

Ryan.

Joe, does that bring you back?

Oh, yeah, that brings me back.

So what happened?

So when this happens, three in a row, one game, you're a grizzled vet in this game.

I'm sure you've had it happen once in a game.

You have it happen three times in one game.

What happened to you afterwards?

I have not.

What happened to me afterwards is I

started to urinate blood, so

I had to go to the hospital for an ultrasound

to make sure everything was okay.

The doctor said, He goes, just don't get hit there again.

I've got a ton of questions here.

So, how long have you been umpiring, Joe?

About 35 years.

How many times total before this game had that happened to you in 35 years?

Twice.

So in 35 years, you'd only been hit that way twice, and it happens three times in what game?

So what was happening here?

Was it the incompetence of the catcher?

No, it was not.

Every one of those

shots were foul balls on the inside part of the plate.

And it's very unusual for that to happen because usually

if there's a foul ball, you get hit on the opposite side.

But these were inside pitches and

it was not the catcher's fault at all.

I mean, the catcher had no time to react on these.

Do you wear a cup?

Oh, yes.

Okay, so gee, all right, so I assume the third of these is the one that hurt the most.

Do I have that wrong?

No, that, that, but by the time I took the third one, Dan, it was, it was horrible.

You know, I just, I couldn't even breathe.

Did you continue or did you stop onpiring and did they have to cancel the game?

No, no, I continued.

I took about 10 minutes just to be able to catch my breath because of the discomfort, but I was able to continue.

And as a matter of fact,

my partner, he's got bad knees.

That's why I was behind the plate.

And even Sunday, the next day,

I was right behind the plate again.

I mean look at that look at that guy

you went to the hospital you were peeing blood and the next day you were back out on the diamond?

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

What are the rates?

I used to get paid $15 a game to umpire.

What does an umpire get paid to endure that?

For that age level, you're getting paid $70 a game

to do that.

So

it's not that bad, but it's great.

It keeps you in shape and just keeps the weight off.

That's why I do it.

I enjoy it.

And what's the copay at the ER when you go?

Like, how many games do you have to do to make up for that?

It's probably more.

The copay is more than what I got paid for the day.

So by the time that you're getting hit the second time, are you still stinging from the first time?

Oh, yes.

Yes.

yes nauseous is all heck everybody when when they see the video they assume that you're not wearing the cup uh but even a cup doesn't give you that kind of protection you still feel it you you still feel it so i was nauseous by the time the second one came around but by the third one that came around i just i was

i was down and out How long did you stay down after the third one?

Oh, probably about seven or eight minutes.

I just, it just so nauseous, and I just had to catch my breath on that.

Did you notice the general callous indifference of coaches who wandered over and weren't paying any attention to the fallen umpire?

No, I was actually more concerned about what was going on with me.

I couldn't pay attention.

I got to tell you, the coaches and the they were all good.

They were all concerned,

especially after the third one, and I'm laying there in just in a pile.

So the coaches were pretty good.

They came over, make sure that I was okay to continue.

After the third one, I imagine the strike zone is wide open, right?

Like anything that's anywhere in our clothes,

we got to get out of here.

Like, I got to go checked out here, kids.

Well, it's the flinching.

You know, you train yourself never to flinch.

As a good umpire, you don't flinch.

But that day after the third one, my feet were very happy and I was flinching like all heck.

After the third one, did you just start placing your hands over your private?

Yeah, and that's a mechanic that we're supposed to use.

Anyway, you're supposed to do that.

You're supposed to leave your fingers dangling.

So the theory is if it hits, it's going to hit your fingers, not break the fingers, and then just deflect it a little bit.

But

yeah,

the biggest trick was not to flinch.

So this is your fault then?

I would like to blame it on

somebody.

The kids, the brats.

The kids are brats.

It's a kid's fault.

You can say it.

It was the kids' fault.

Nah, those kids were good.

The skill level that these kids have playing elite baseball is incredible.

It's, you know,

it's incredible.

They throw hard.

As a matter of fact,

I believe on two of those, I got, there was a nine-year-old girl that was pitching and she threw hard.

um i think she's the one that did the most damage joe um parents talk to you hear a lot about parents like giving umpires crap how often is that a problem with you have you had any wild stories oh yes i got one that that's why i initially when my assigner called me um about uh when he when he called me i thought it was about uh because uh there was a uh i did a rec game and there was a fight two mothers going at it rolling on the grass, fighting.

That happened this past year.

And that's what I thought about the initial call was.

But

it's incredible.

The two mothers were going at it.

The kid,

what started was a kid got hit on the hands.

He was swinging, which is a deadball strike.

So I called it.

Now, the grandfather that was there was going crazy,

wanted to fight me in the parking lot.

and this guy was i'm 66 this guy was at least five years older than than i am um he wanted uh he wanted a fight and then the mother came over and started yelling at another mother and it just the coaches ended up forfeiting the gate both of the coaches they were great people they said no wait this is just too too much and uh

and then the mothers started going at it and you know the crew the police came down and took the two mothers away in cuffs so that that was my, that was my, yeah, I know.

Uh, did they not know the rules?

Did you just keep telling them it's a dead ball?

You can't swing.

If you get hit, you swing, it's a strike.

Yeah,

you tell them that, you try to explain it.

Um, I usually don't talk to parents and grandparents, you know, unless it's an informative type of thing.

Well, they want to know, and you know, I'll do that.

But yeah, they, they, it was, it was just horrible.

I just, I couldn't, I just couldn't believe it.

I mean, you know, know,

a guy that

wants to fight me in the parking lot, two mothers just rolling, literally rolling on the grass till the cruisers got there.

But this is the stuff that we put up with yearly.

Oh, it's $70, so you got to, like, it's worth it.

You thought we were calling you, though, about that dead ball instead of your dead balls?

Yes, that's what I initially thought.

Dan.

The situation that you found yourself in happened in the first time in what inning?

The first time it happened, I think it happened in the first inning.

Second time?

Second time, I believe it was in the third inning, and then the third time, I believe it was on the fourth inning.

All right, so this is a bad stretch, and the games are seven innings long, so you toughed it out after that.

And what were you feeling the next three innings?

What can you tell me beyond the flinching and beyond the fear and beyond the general throbbing or numbness, what are you feeling the next three innings?

Oh, just complete nausea.

I was as nauseous as all heck.

I just couldn't,

you know, even though you're wearing a cup, you still feel it.

So I was nauseous and it was just, it was just hard.

The hardest part was the focus, keeping your focus on the game.

You know, there's a the temptation is to always just cross your legs on the next pitch, but

you know, you keep it,

you know,

you just stay in there.

You try to hang in there as best you can.

Joe, I like you.

You seem like an old school salt of the earth type of guy.

And I'm a little concerned, and I hope that you share my concern, but I don't want to lead you here.

I don't know if you are familiar with this artificial intelligence, this AI that's out there.

And, you know, it's fine to ignore when it doesn't really affect you.

But I don't know if you've caught on to this robot umpire situation that's going on now in minor league baseball, and they're trying to bring up to major league baseball.

How do we feel about that?

Because I feel like they're trying to come and take your jobs.

And I like you, a classic guy.

I like the human element of the game.

So I'm worried about these robot umpires.

Yeah, I don't think that's ever going to fully replace umpires.

That's part.

Umpiring is part of the game.

Good calls, bad calls.

They're still all part of the game.

The reviews that they do now, I mean, the technology is

pretty good, but you'll still need umpires.

You'll still need to be able to have umpires out there, even though the technology, well, even this video of me getting hit,

that's subject to the new technology that they have on

the bat stops now.

So, but I think their technology is there.

It's going to be there to help.

I don't think it's going to be there to replace the umpires.

I mean, it's part of the game, I think, right?

Imagine a robot getting hit in the twig and berries, not nearly as funny.

Obviously, it's only funny because you're okay, but I mean, it'd be a disservice, I think, to have missing.

Let me ask you something as an umpire: How's your hook?

Do you have a quick hook?

Do you have a long hook?

Like,

what's the word that

a parent or a coach or a kid has to say that Joe says, you know what, buddy, now you gone too far.

You're out of here.

It depends.

My hook, depending if it's a tournament and a tight game, believe me,

like if it's a tournament,

the coaches and the

S word, is that an automatic hook?

The S word?

Yeah.

The F word, automatic hook.

Yeah, C-word, automatic hook.

Oh, yeah.

All right, good.

Yeah,

the other thing, too, is like a lot of times, coaches will complain about the

balls and stuff.

They'll mumble a little bit in a tight game.

And you let that go in a tight game.

Everyone's trying to get an edge.

I got an idea here joe all right you're gonna be the umpire now i'm a parent okay so just tell me i'm gonna say something you tell me lying what do you do yeah yeah stop us when we get there hey hey blue get your head out of your ass no too far a word that's gone out of here a word all right kids all right joe joe stop me when i hit the line darn it

no that's good dang it that's still good dang nab it

that's still good god damn it you ump

that's not good

what's your get out of here give us a your get out of here what's that like What is the ejection?

What does it look like?

The ejection?

You just you point at them, you turn away, put your hand out, you're out of here.

Gone.

They're gone.

Chris, you want to give him your third strike call?

Let's see if we can get a grade from Joe on.

Strike one and two.

Go ahead and do the whole thing, but let's get his assessment.

We would like a grade from Joe on Joe.

I put two or three years in when I was in my teens.

Here we go.

Strike one and two are the same.

So I'll give you just ha.

Oh,

pretty good.

So that's one and two.

That's one and two.

And then, you know, the big dog here.

Oh, wow.

That's good, Chris.

Thank you.

That's good.

That's good, he said.

Nice.

A, B plus, A minus, B minus.

All right.

Congratulations, Chris.

We're going to play these for you here.

You, based on just sound, tell us whether this was the first time you got hit in the balls, the second time you got hit in the balls, or the third time you got hit in the balls.

Okay.

That last one was the third time.

No.

Here you go.

I'm going to play it here.

I'm going to play it a little louder for you.

Here it comes.

Here it goes.

I think that was the, that was, I believe, the second time.

Oh, no.

Yes, that's good.

He's got a good awareness here.

Let's play another one for him.

See if it's the first one or the third one.

That I, if I'm not mistaken, that's the first one.

You're wrong, Joe.

That's the third one.

Oh, that's the worst of them.

I'm sorry to say that.

Yeah, that's when you hit the ground, but you can be permitted.

You were in a state of disorientation and nausea.

And now, guess what, Joe?

You're out of here.

Yes, you're out of here.

Good seeing you, Joe.

Thank you for being on with us.

Real quick, before you go, did the umps steal the Padre season yesterday?

No, I don't think so.

I don't think so.

You can't blame it on the...

I don't think you can.

Well, you can try to blame it on the umps.

Out of here, Blue!

You're out of here!

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