The Big Suey: The Weight of Moving a Goalpost

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Speaker 12 16 years from today, Greg Gerstner will finally land the perfect cannonball.

Speaker 9 Epic Splash.

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Speaker 12 A work of art only possible because Greg is already meeting all these same people at AARP volunteer and community events that keep him active and involved and help make sure his happiness lives as long as he does.

Speaker 12 That's why the younger you are, the more you you need AARP. Learn more at aarp.org/slash local.

Speaker 3 Welcome to the Big Sue,

Speaker 3 presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? It's a podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebetard podcast.

Speaker 13 I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

Speaker 3 In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's prize that if they're just there.

Speaker 3 If that hasn't happened to you guys.

Speaker 11 I've done it.

Speaker 3 And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

Speaker 14 This episode of the Dan Levittard show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

Speaker 3 Those stats that I gave earlier on the Dolphins, the one in 15 stat, which is a damning one,

Speaker 3 last

Speaker 3 16 games against winning teams.

Speaker 3 You're going winless if you're playing all the winless. A season's worth of winless.

Speaker 3 Every time you play one of the good teams, teams, that would suggest that no matter what you think the quarterback is with or without Tyreek Hill,

Speaker 3 it isn't enough. The whole thing's broken.
It's broken down. They had to be perfect in order to tease us, and they are really imperfect defensively and offensively.

Speaker 3 The other stat came from Alfredo Artiega, that they were the three touchdown stats, which is if they're not getting, they don't have a way to win a game other than to

Speaker 3 have the game be something where they score 27 points or play the Jets.

Speaker 14 Well, but the last two games are a prime example of the offense is good enough if the defense weren't horrible. Like, if they had an average defense, they win the last two games.

Speaker 14 And it's the defense. Let's not mistake it.
It's the defense that is the real problem for this team.

Speaker 16 Well, Greg, we knew that going in.

Speaker 18 Like, their pass rushers were going to be okay. Linebackers were going to be probably a sub-average.
And then we know they had no secondary outside of Minka Fitzpatrick.

Speaker 18 And now it's a surprise when guys are missing open field tackles, and Lab McConklin sticks a foot in the ground and goes 40 yards.

Speaker 18 Like, we knew this was going to be the test the entire time was the secondary. The defense is historically bad.

Speaker 19 If it weren't for the Ravens, who are historically worse.

Speaker 14 And that's the epitaph for Chris Greer right now: is that he allowed them to go a whole offseason and start a season with those starting cornerbacks. He allowed that.
He let it happen.

Speaker 3 It's all over, and I think that's what you feel here. And we've been saying it all season.
And now Greg Cody is officially off off the bandwagon. Forevermore, fire everybody.

Speaker 14 Beginning last week, not yesterday.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 The thing that I wanted to ask you, speaking of firings,

Speaker 3 how many coaches are there in college football that will make their way into your Sunday, into your professional football Sunday with the news of everything stops, James Franklin has been fired?

Speaker 3 Oh, look, minor league professional football just fired one of the real big guys with tenure who got that job.

Speaker 3 I think I have this right because he made vanderbilt uh win when van nobody could make vanderbilt win and so he got 12 paterno paterno handed off one of the mythical franchises to bill o'brien and then james franklin gets a great run so great without winning anything for 12 years that how many coaches in college football would would break into professional football yesterday with the news of everybody be like, oh, one of the big ones went down in minor professional football?

Speaker 11 Like 10 programs, I think, right around there.

Speaker 3 What are the names that you would put ahead of James Franklin yesterday because of an in-season firing where we now know that the stakes are, hey, if you're at one of the big schools now that that conference is getting $2 billion,

Speaker 3 now that that conference is about to get private equity $2 billion,

Speaker 3 if you lose early in the season and we expected you to win under these conditions, you play a very close, good game at home against Oregon that makes it look at the time like you're still going to have a job if you win that in an overtime, maybe at the time everyone's fine with you.

Speaker 3 You finally won a big game.

Speaker 3 Then you go to UCLA, which is the most glaring example we have in the entire sport this year, that it matters how your team is coached because UCLA with Deshaun Foster was 0-4.

Speaker 3 They fired him and now they kicked the holy hell out of Michigan State, which is in the conference that just got the $2 billion. So James Franklin, 12 years ain't what we get around here anymore.

Speaker 3 You then lose to Northwestern. You lose to Greene's school, you're out.
That's the last one. It's the last straw.
We'll take 12 years of this bullshit, but we'll...

Speaker 17 Greene's school.

Speaker 3 Once you learn to know, no, everybody knows that.

Speaker 11 It does make a a sense of Oliver Wilbon School.

Speaker 3 Once you lose to Northwestern, that was the nail in the Franklin coffin. Like, he could have survived it if he had won that game.
Once you lose to the nerds,

Speaker 3 once you lose to the Books, they're the ones who tried to unionize. Once you lose to the Books, nope, get out of here.

Speaker 3 We're taking $2 billion, and we're not losing to Northwestern when we're Penn State.

Speaker 14 Yeah, but he made the playoffs last year. Right? Like,

Speaker 14 there's no reasonableness in college football anymore.

Speaker 14 And this is exacerbated by the whole NIL portal thing. You have to win now.
If you have a disappointing season, it doesn't matter what you did a year ago. You start off three and three.

Speaker 14 That's a full-onio.

Speaker 3 He didn't just make the playoffs. This isn't Boise State.
He was vying last year

Speaker 3 at the end of the season for, they're about a half away from playing for the championship.

Speaker 11 They were in full control of that Orange Bowl until a corner slipped and fell and Greathouse takes it to the house.

Speaker 22 And all of a sudden, you're wondering, how the hell is Notre Dame even in this game?

Speaker 8 James Franklin won two playoff games last year.

Speaker 23 Granted it was against SMU and Boise, but he won two.

Speaker 14 Yeah, and yet he can't survive a three and three start. I think it's a little bit unfair, premature, at least.

Speaker 3 Oh, I just think it's what it is now. Like this is, if you professionalize it this much, yep.
Oh, no one's going to be safe when only 10 are worth it anyway. Like only 10 break into programming.

Speaker 3 Like that's not, I think Mike's high there. Like, I don't think if DeBoer gets fired, anybody cares.
Like, I know they care regionally, but not in the middle of your.

Speaker 3 in the middle alabama fires its head coach is is creeping into your sunday maybe i'm not saying creeping into your sunday i'm saying everything stops with the plastered headline on espn.com of it's not about any of the football games like the it's not about the worst jets performance to fall in 0-6 that can cover the the morning it's not about uh any of the five games in the one o'clock window that were one score games that all had drama no right in the middle of is is holy shit James Franklin has been fired.

Speaker 3 I really don't think that there are many coaches who have the tenure or the name at a school now in the wild, wild west of that's the most professional football now.

Speaker 3 Now it's even more professional than professional football. If you're going to bring $2 billion to that conference and say, James Franklin, you could be fired in three games.
Three bad games.

Speaker 3 We'll forget what you did three games ago.

Speaker 18 That's crazy. It's got the best job in football I don't know.
He's fired coach, $50 million coming his way.

Speaker 17 I don't ever want to to see James Franklin again.

Speaker 26 This is one of my favorite games.

Speaker 11 For his mental health. One of my favorite games.

Speaker 23 I don't want to see him ever again. Where's he going?

Speaker 18 I'm going to go. Go buy a house in the keys.

Speaker 17 Go get a contender in the back.

Speaker 27 Go fishing.

Speaker 18 Go meet Jimmy somewhere.

Speaker 5 I don't ever want to see James Franklin again.

Speaker 3 Don't show up at Wichita State playing.

Speaker 28 Don't do that.

Speaker 11 I don't think this is. Get out of here.

Speaker 8 I don't think this is a Jimbo situation.

Speaker 15 I think there are a lot of programs, a lot of good programs.

Speaker 4 You'd be shocked at the places I think James Franklin can kill it.

Speaker 23 Because one thing that he's shown is that he is a program builder.

Speaker 9 And there are some places in this country that desperately need someone like that.

Speaker 23 Schools that have been trying to scheme their way when they have no business doing that.

Speaker 30 You give James Franklin the resources of a Florida or an FSU, he raises the floor immediately.

Speaker 24 I don't think he's going to be out of work for a very long time.

Speaker 16 I really don't.

Speaker 14 I agree. And by the way, you mentioned DeBoer.

Speaker 14 This guy is having the last laugh right now. Okay.

Speaker 14 Everybody... In this building was burying him when they lost the opener to FSU.
End of an era. He's out of here.
Bring back Nick.

Speaker 14 He's won.

Speaker 11 They're 5-1 now.

Speaker 14 Three wins against the rank team.

Speaker 3 This is the only place I'll stop you, okay? So, guys, I don't know if you paid any attention to the ESPN rankings because they're funny. They're legitimately funny.

Speaker 13 Crooked FPI.

Speaker 3 I mean, no, wait a minute. It's funny, but also funny in a pretty great way.
Because, yeah, I can make an argument Notre Dame's win the top five teams. I really could.

Speaker 3 They lost two games against the road on the road against two teams I think to be good. But to have Notre Dame ahead of Texas AM and Miami,

Speaker 3 just, it's, it's, it's funny. It's, I'll read some of these.
No, tone. Wait, what? Tone, I will read some of these rankings to you guys in a second.
But when Greg overreacts to

Speaker 3 Alabama ain't Alabama anymore. Missouri hasn't beaten Alabama since 1976 and could have very easily.

Speaker 3 very easily won that game if Alabama doesn't doesn't make two fourth down plays late that were great because all of a sudden Eli Drinkwitz is in the game.

Speaker 30 He's been in the game. He's like a top 10.

Speaker 11 But Missouri is good.

Speaker 3 Yes, yes, of course, Missouri's good.

Speaker 3 But what I'm saying is the SEC, the top of the SEC, they're all the same, except, of course, Arch Manning might figure some things out over the next six games that shows you that Texas has better athletes than everybody else in that conference.

Speaker 3 But Miami's being penalized.

Speaker 3 You guys want to guess? You want to guess the ESPN? I thought this was a joke. The rankings, the FPI rankings.
Do you guys want to guess what the top five is now?

Speaker 3 Anybody?

Speaker 14 No. Must be ludicrous.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 29 He was at North Carolina last week.

Speaker 32 I think Notre Dame is in the top five.

Speaker 22 Given what you said, AM deserves to be AM's.

Speaker 3 No, AM is not. That's crazy.
Listen to what this topic. I thought this was a joke.
Please check it for me. Maybe it is a joke.
Like,

Speaker 3 I may be fooled by the internet here because of how little sense the ESPN ranking, FPI football power index rankings were because I'm like, this can't be real.

Speaker 3 Oh, I see what they're doing here, but this can't be real.

Speaker 21 Who is this for? Like, what are these FPI rankings for? Who checks these?

Speaker 14 I think it's computerized, but they're irrelevant. Isn't it based heavily on strength of schedule?

Speaker 29 I was out on this as a metric when, conveniently, a week before the season, the FPI shifted on everybody without games to pull data from.

Speaker 3 So this is, I'm looking at this. I don't know how computer generated this is, but Florida State is still 25, which does not make sense to me after they lose at Pittsburgh.

Speaker 3 And given that I can actually make an argument for these rankings, I can contort myself, the way I did with the Chiefs, to make an argument on these rankings based on strength of schedule.

Speaker 3 But your premise has to be that Florida and Florida State aren't any good and that Miami hasn't beaten anybody. That Miami hasn't, that USF isn't any good.

Speaker 3 That that the team so so the number one team is Ohio State. Ohio State is amazing for a number of different reasons.
One of them, skinny Matt Patricia is pretty good.

Speaker 3 They're good on goal line situations in a way that's crazy. And they haven't allowed a rushing touchdown.
I saw the stat during the game in 184 rushing attempts.

Speaker 3 Like they've allowed no first half touchdowns. So Ohio State is number one.
Number two is Indiana. Indiana, that was amazing to watch Oregon get dragged late game.
Just get dragged late in that game.

Speaker 18 By the way, a quick aside for Indiana.

Speaker 11 Dan, I think we got one.

Speaker 22 We've We've been waiting, okay?

Speaker 4 We've been praying.

Speaker 18 We've been hoping that one day we could see a Cuban kid be a quarterback. Dano, we got one.

Speaker 17 He might be the number one in World Pick, Dan.

Speaker 3 Indiana was super impressive in the second half of that game. So you want to put them number two when Oregon hadn't lost a game at home in 23 games and had like eight and 18 games.

Speaker 3 No, was it 23 straight regular season games and hadn't lost a game at home in 18 games?

Speaker 21 So FPI is a ranking that projects how the future will play out. So it's not currently what's going on, why you have some teams.
This is how they think things will end in the future.

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Speaker 36 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 11 I'm not going to apologize.

Speaker 37 I wouldn't expect you to apologize.

Speaker 20 Then you're a giant infant.

Speaker 11 Okay.

Speaker 20 You have no control over your emotions.

Speaker 37 You have no control over your emotions. When you're calling someone you know an idiot, I don't deserve it.
Okay. I don't deserve it.
And you're a fool for saying it.

Speaker 11 Okay.

Speaker 39 Stugats.

Speaker 14 You're a fool. Yeah.

Speaker 11 I was kind of following you.

Speaker 11 Oh, you're locking in right now?

Speaker 15 You're locking in on us? Yeah.

Speaker 11 All right. Let's drop the gloves, pal.
Let's drop the gloves.

Speaker 11 You should be thanking me.

Speaker 28 For what? Every day. For what? For what I've done around this character.
And the second shit gets real for you, you want to come at me and call me a fool?

Speaker 11 Huh? Jeremy, no, no, no, no. Seriously.
Jeremy. Seriously, pal.

Speaker 28 I've added 10 years to your career.

Speaker 36 This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stewarts.

Speaker 3 So, Alabama is number three. Notre Dame is number four.
Oregon is number five. Georgia is six.

Speaker 30 Texas is seven.

Speaker 3 Miami is eight.

Speaker 14 That's pretty ridiculous.

Speaker 3 Well, you just got Miami below two teams. I mean, Notre Dame, you've got Miami and Texas A ⁇ M below Notre Dame when Notre Dame lost to both of them.
And the argument would be it was on the road.

Speaker 3 Both games were on the road and both games were close. And if you...

Speaker 3 You can make an argument for Notre Dame being one of the five best teams in the sport. You could, based on what you've seen.
You could.

Speaker 29 It's kind of ridiculous to make an argument that they should be ranked ahead of Miami in any metric, especially when what Billy said is if it's projecting, then what am I to do with the best odds across all of sports betting for a team to go undefeated in that sport belongs to the Miami Hurricanes in part because of their schedule softening as the season progresses?

Speaker 14 Yeah, they're going to be favored in every remaining game. But I think it's unfair to say they haven't played anybody.

Speaker 14 You can only play who you're scheduled to beat, and they have beaten three ranked teams at the time.

Speaker 8 It's patently absurd to say that because their strength of record is good.

Speaker 29 They beat Notre Dame.

Speaker 30 They beat USF so badly that people don't even know what to do with that result.

Speaker 40 EPA is a huge part of this.

Speaker 41 So expected points added on special teams offense and defense. And it's supposed to be sort of predictive from where that's gone.

Speaker 40 So just in terms of a metric, it's supposed to be based off of what your EPA is in all three of those aspects against the teams you've played.

Speaker 41 And when you look at where those rankings are in FPI, based off of what those losses are for FSU and UF, both of those teams losing to those teams is essentially looking like beating them as well.

Speaker 42 It's essentially even.

Speaker 16 It's all manipulated.

Speaker 24 I told you, they changed the FPI rankings a week before the season.

Speaker 42 But EPA is like a stat that's quantified.

Speaker 11 No, yeah, I got EPA, but yeah, just line up play the games.

Speaker 16 This is stupid.

Speaker 3 I want to talk about some of the professional football games that were played, although the Jets did not play one of those. Like, that is

Speaker 3 as bad a passing performance as you can possibly see in the modern age non-weather division. But the game yesterday, and I don't know which one you guys want to talk about as the most important.

Speaker 3 The Chiefs' schedule is about to get easy. They've had a hard schedule.
I'm going to end up eating a lot of Corvettes as soon as Rashi Rice gets back.

Speaker 21 If you would have won that bet instead of losing it, would you have expected a Corvette here?

Speaker 14 Good question.

Speaker 3 I hadn't thought that one through.

Speaker 21 Like, do you think Nick was like, how do I find a Corvette?

Speaker 3 No, but

Speaker 3 I thought part of the beauty of it was that we were going to get the Corvette that Greg didn't like, that she couldn't paint because it was a lease.

Speaker 3 She couldn't paint in a different color, and he never told her he wanted a different color.

Speaker 3 So I thought if we got that car, the reason I was asking Erlene and Chris is if I lost the bet, or if I won the bet, whether or not we'd give that car to Greg as a gift. Again, that is a good idea.

Speaker 33 He didn't answer the question.

Speaker 30 If you lost, though.

Speaker 29 Or won, I guess, because this is a rare occasion where winning means losing.

Speaker 4 And Nick Wright tried to send you a car, despite not verbally confirming that that was indeed the bet, you would would have been mad.

Speaker 3 No, I would have thought it's funny.

Speaker 14 You won 5k in your fat wallet.

Speaker 3 That's what you mean. No, it doesn't.

Speaker 11 No.

Speaker 11 Come on.

Speaker 3 Nick, I believe that Nick bets that amount all the time. I never do.
Like, I never bet that amount.

Speaker 3 I believe Nick lives in that space where he's perpetually betting that amount with everybody on everything. That's not a big amount of money to Nick, I don't think.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 40 But he's good for it. I see the poker stakes he plays.
I think, yeah.

Speaker 6 He doesn't bet cars, though, usually.

Speaker 11 Yeah. He slips, buddy.

Speaker 22 And we don't have any evidence that he bet a car here, but we're just running with it.

Speaker 3 Can you just do me a favor, all right? Do me the favor, independent of me. Just text Nick Reich and find out, just ask him if he thinks we have better car.

Speaker 3 If he thinks we have bet a Corvette, yes or no. Because I believe his idea, in fact, I think I've got this right.
I believe it was his idea to get the VIN number of Erlene's

Speaker 11 car.

Speaker 3 I believe it was his idea to make it.

Speaker 23 Was Was that a private conversation?

Speaker 13 May have been, yeah.

Speaker 3 It may have been. I'm now running all of these things together as I'm trying to figure out two things.

Speaker 3 I'm trying to figure out how it is that I thought I woke up this morning owing him a Corvette, and that didn't feel very good, even though it was funny.

Speaker 3 And I also thought, how did I get myself in this predicament? I don't feel this strongly about however it is that the Chiefs are going to do the remainder of this season.

Speaker 17 I want to break this microphone in half.

Speaker 11 Come on.

Speaker 3 That team's dead.

Speaker 11 And now you're counting on injuries, which proved our original point to make you somehow right.

Speaker 15 This is crazy.

Speaker 3 But this is what I want to be at this point. Yes, it's not crazy.

Speaker 3 It's the worst incarnations of me badly wanting to be right.

Speaker 3 And if I still had to bet the field with him, I would be willing to make that bet a bet that's got much larger stakes than it presently has.

Speaker 43 Dan, I'm willing to make you feel a little better by playing sound of Tony agreeing with you.

Speaker 11 Dan's 100% right.

Speaker 28 They almost three-peated last night.

Speaker 9 That doesn't matter, but they did it it.

Speaker 17 That doesn't wait.

Speaker 18 They changed the offense completely. They got rid of Tyreek Hill.
They went to a Dinkin dunk. They had two high safeties.
They couldn't go deep.

Speaker 11 You know, that for a while. I mean, that for like three years.

Speaker 39 Three years, Tony said.

Speaker 4 Tony, you get out of here.

Speaker 21 Now you owe Nick Wright a car, also.

Speaker 24 I have reached out to Nick Wright.

Speaker 8 He is texting me back.

Speaker 29 If we are clear, he is offering to join the show and explain this. He does concede that it got a little complicated.

Speaker 8 He can join us around 10.15.

Speaker 3 Okay, thank you.

Speaker 3 Andy's going to,

Speaker 3 yeah, let's figure out how to make these season-long stakes. Let's figure out.

Speaker 15 Okay, that's bad. That's bullshit.

Speaker 42 Like, no matter what the stakes are, Cora, or not, you're not getting to extend this.

Speaker 15 Now, he may

Speaker 13 extend this. No, I owe.

Speaker 25 No, I'm telling you, I owe him this.

Speaker 3 I'm not trying to get out of the bet.

Speaker 25 I owe him this.

Speaker 21 I'm asking you. What do you think you owe him?

Speaker 13 I owe him a white Corvette.

Speaker 21 And $5,000.

Speaker 11 No. Your little smirk ain't fooling us.

Speaker 20 What is Tony Tonyo?

Speaker 26 You know what you're doing.

Speaker 11 I owe.

Speaker 25 What do you mean I know what you're doing?

Speaker 42 You can't even hide the smile from your face.

Speaker 3 Because it's funny.

Speaker 3 This ends up being funny if I'm sending him either. If I'm either buying Greg, Greg,

Speaker 3 the original Corvette he did not want back.

Speaker 11 I would like it.

Speaker 3 Or getting, or Billy's idea, which is the best of them, of course.

Speaker 11 My idea.

Speaker 3 You're the one who found the white Corvette.

Speaker 3 The white Corvette. You're the one who found it without, you told me later it didn't have a transmission.

Speaker 3 transmission you said dennis you said 13 you said it was 3300 3900 so how'd you end up there how do you remember how i just got curious what a white corvette would cost if you were to buy a used one what the cheapest one would be i like my dad's idea 5k in pennies that's fine one thing is clear tony's an idiot Tony, there's a way for you to maneuver here to have a new white Corvette.

Speaker 11 I don't know how it works. I don't know.
Don't trade. I don't know how to do it.

Speaker 28 I didn't want to say it. If you want to say, I didn't want to say it, but yes.

Speaker 11 I don't know. 100%.

Speaker 18 By the the way, I got a guy that can fix it.

Speaker 9 So if you want to send me over the transmission, I got a guy.

Speaker 3 Do you want to ride shotgun with me? Yes.

Speaker 3 Let's see who we got. The Chiefs,

Speaker 3 the Chiefs of the field, the rest of the season. Let's kick up the stakes.
Let's kick them up.

Speaker 14 500,000 pennies.

Speaker 3 Hampton Farms fan of the week

Speaker 3 because we sent him peanuts already. We're paying him peanuts.
We're literally, we've already sent him a box of peanuts. That's where I started the bidding.
Now send him an old Corvette.

Speaker 3 Let's see where we end up with this, by the Super Bowl when he's still betting on the Chiefs and I'm on the other side of this. The Hampton Farms nuttiest fan of the week is who this week.

Speaker 44 We have nominees, Dan, the nuttiest fan brought to you by Hampton Farms. Get nutty with Hampton Farms, the official peanut of bowl season.

Speaker 43 Vote for your favorite nutty fan at Lebatard Show on Instagram, and be sure to keep an eye out for Lucy at Iowa if you think you are your team's nuttiest fan.

Speaker 43 The first nominee we have here, Colorado wins a big game at home against Iowa State, and then they rush the field.

Speaker 38 And there's a fan here that almost gets crushed by the field goal post.

Speaker 3 That is nutty.

Speaker 20 You think it's funny? That hurts. You think it's funny, but then he's like, guys, seriously, get this off me.

Speaker 19 So they got it off him. No one was hurt.

Speaker 20 That's a nutty fan, if you ask me.

Speaker 3 And bad judgment by us.

Speaker 16 Gotta hit the gym on him.

Speaker 11 What do you mean?

Speaker 43 If that's not nutty fan behavior, I don't know what is.

Speaker 40 And now

Speaker 43 the other nominee, we have Oklahoma State fans who

Speaker 19 at some point during the game, one guy takes his shirt off, starts whipping it around, and then people follow.

Speaker 39 Next thing you know, they had an entire section of shirtless dudes just being a bunch of bros waving their shirts around.

Speaker 20 I mean, Dan, that's nutty.

Speaker 3 As they lost by 30 at home to Houston.

Speaker 20 There was plenty of space in the bleachers, but open space there for them to fill.

Speaker 17 So it's a Chiefs Super Bowl bet now?

Speaker 13 I mean, which would make him right. Not by the way.
Like more than right if they make it to the Super Bowl again.

Speaker 15 Not since Vanderbilt beat Bama and the field goal posts ended up in the Cumberland River has field goal posts been moved so drastically and dramatically from what this original bet was, which was, Dan, they'll be all right when they got

Speaker 42 now Dan's the Colorado fan with the field goal.

Speaker 11 That's exactly right.

Speaker 3 He's saying I've moved the field goal so much. That's exactly the position I'm in right now.
That is correct. I'm looking for injuries and I'm looking for strength of schedule.

Speaker 16 There's Dan right here.

Speaker 3 This is the position I put myself in because I doubted the Chiefs' offense and now I can hit the gym. And now everyone here is saying, Dan, you were too soon on that.

Speaker 26 Wow, Tony, you're saying you could easily push this up.

Speaker 9 I'm saying you got to push that up.

Speaker 22 You got to push him push that up.

Speaker 23 That thing is probably, it takes, it took dozens of fans to lift this thing.

Speaker 11 You got to push that up.

Speaker 4 No, you got to get out of the bat.

Speaker 22 Like, his arm was pinned there.

Speaker 11 Come on, Dan. Hit the gym.

Speaker 30 Hit the gym.

Speaker 21 Philgo posts weigh between 900 and 1,200 pounds.

Speaker 11 No, no, no, no, no. That's fine.
That's right. That's fine.
I can do that. You got to get enough.
Dude, hold on, first of all.

Speaker 17 First of all, you get enough to get your arm out.

Speaker 18 First of all, moms carry cars when kids are on the train.

Speaker 11 Have you seen that? Yes. It happens.
Thank you, Greg.

Speaker 14 Yeah, it does happen. By the way, 500,000 pennies weigh 3,125 pounds.

Speaker 8 That's probably less than a Corvette.

Speaker 26 Less than a field goal post.

Speaker 8 You also have to keep in mind, the field goal posts are resting on the ground, so it's not all 900 pounds that he has to be right.

Speaker 3 Okay,

Speaker 26 I love that Tony.

Speaker 26 That Tony and Mike.

Speaker 16 He's got to push it up and get on there.

Speaker 17 That's like 400 pounds.

Speaker 11 Look.

Speaker 3 Look, somewhere between...

Speaker 3 Where the audience just was thinking that perhaps a percentage of the audience that this was made of fiberglass.

Speaker 3 Okay, I do believe believe that there are many people in our audience who may have just been learning for the first time when seeing that kid stuck under those gallposs.

Speaker 3 Oh, that looks like it might be a little heavier perhaps than I thought it was. And that kid looks scared.
So much so that I said, feels irresponsible to sponsor this.

Speaker 3 That realization as some he could have been hurt. Yes.
And not surprising that Tony and Mike say they have the adrenaline strength that mothers have when picking up cars to save their children.

Speaker 21 Well, if you remember, Tony just last week had a home intruder come in and he went and he was running through the halls, boom, boom, boom, boom, knocking things around.

Speaker 32 Barefoot.

Speaker 21 His family was in trouble. I also misspoke.
So, high school goalposts weigh between 800 and 1,200 pounds.

Speaker 21 Professional NFL goal posts, which I'm assuming is closer to that, weigh between 1,000 and 2,000 pounds.

Speaker 11 Wow.

Speaker 21 So, a ton.

Speaker 3 So, I say those things well.

Speaker 45 His arm is caught underneath it.

Speaker 11 Can you guys

Speaker 11 push it up?

Speaker 26 That's a testament to how weak he is.

Speaker 45 This is nutty, though, Dan. You have to admit.

Speaker 3 I believe that Billy just shocked the audience with the weight of goalposts. I believe the audience right now, wait a minute.
They weigh as much as a beluga whale.

Speaker 3 What do you mean a ton?

Speaker 42 You guys are just like, push it off him. Guys, let's watch the video.

Speaker 13 Look at how he gets freed.

Speaker 26 Let's watch how one guy lifts.

Speaker 11 Apparently, the strongest person on the planet.

Speaker 38 One guy's suicide. One guy seen.

Speaker 11 One guy. Look.
Look.

Speaker 39 There could be other people lifting.

Speaker 11 Look. That's all you're saying.

Speaker 11 One guy. There's two people there.
Okay.

Speaker 21 Okay, two guys lifted come on that you saw in the video you had nine people there on the goalpost the creatine these days is so good kid beluga whales can weigh up to 1600 kilograms which is actually 3500 pounds it's like half a beluga all right so if both goalposts fell on you it'd be the beluga whales female beluga whales can weigh 1500 to 2600 pounds okay so

Speaker 11 the caviar comes from is that so yep no beluga whales that can't be right no no they give live birth no but they're mammals But the eggs.

Speaker 16 No, that

Speaker 30 caviar is fish eggs, and

Speaker 16 beluga whales are mammals because of whales.

Speaker 42 Let's talk this out, Dad.

Speaker 14 You never heard of beluga caviar?

Speaker 11 Yeah, but I think that's a good one. But those are fish eggs.

Speaker 42 And the beluga whale is not a fish.

Speaker 3 The penguin is.

Speaker 46 Every October, my pets get just as excited as the rest of the family.

Speaker 9 Which sounds cute until you realize that means I need costumes that actually fit. Toys that don't fall apart instantly.

Speaker 46 And treats they won't just sniff and walk away from.

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Speaker 21 I look like I know what I'm doing.

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Speaker 46 Plus, with a hundred percent satisfaction guarantee, I can return anything within a year. Finding costumes for bigger dogs is usually impossible, but Chewy has sizes for everyone.

Speaker 46 This Halloween, make your pets be part of the celebration. Shop costumes, toys, and treats with Chewy.
Go to chewpanions.chewy.com/slash Lebatard Show to get $20 off your first order.

Speaker 46 That's chewpannions.chewy.com slash Lebatard Show to get $20 off your first order. Chewpanions.chewy.com slash Lebatard Show.

Speaker 10 Hey, audience, I got a special treat for you because I want to talk to you about Miller Light, but I want to talk to you Miller Light with my good friend Rose.

Speaker 26 Hey, Rose.

Speaker 28 Hi, everybody.

Speaker 5 When we hang out, and we hang out often, we're friends.

Speaker 10 I consider us friends.

Speaker 33 Yeah, me too.

Speaker 2 We're often toasting the good times.

Speaker 8 And what am I toasting with?

Speaker 35 With Miller Light.

Speaker 7 That's right, Miller Light.

Speaker 4 Whether you're hanging out with your dear friend Rose or at game day, it just hits different when you got a Miller Light in your hand.

Speaker 2 From jaw-dropping touchdowns to fantasy heartbreaks, it's a beer that has been there for every moment.

Speaker 9 50 years of great taste, simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color that you can spot across the room.

Speaker 5 And it's just not the color of the beer, which is brilliant. That beautiful white can.

Speaker 29 How beautiful is that is that you doing the sound of a can opening is that your favorite sound oh no it is a horsey a horsey

Speaker 9 all right we'll stop doing that and here's a kicker miller light is just 96 calories 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces the original light beer since 1975 that's right and still hitting different five decades later you're so good at this road i know so whatever your game day looks like remember miller time is always a good time look at us we're a great tag team five again can you do that uh that beer sound one more time And the horse sound one more time?

Speaker 33 I regret asking you about that one, but the Miller Light sound is good.

Speaker 5 Miller Light. Great taste, 96 calories.

Speaker 33 Go to MillerLight.com slash Shannon to find delivery options near you where you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

Speaker 7 It's Miller. Time.
Celebrate responsive.

Speaker 11 Blee.

Speaker 5 Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Speaker 7 Tin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounce.

Speaker 11 On sess.

Speaker 15 No, it says.

Speaker 11 Oh, ses.

Speaker 2 Howdy, folks, it's Mike Ryan.

Speaker 6 Super excited to talk to you about the official ticketing partner of the Dan Lebatard show.

Speaker 5 They've been a good partner of ours, and I couldn't be prouder of it because, folks, you know, I really use Game Time.

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Speaker 2 Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply.

Speaker 5 Again, create an account and redeem code DAN for $20 off.

Speaker 47 Swipe, tap, ticket, go.

Speaker 2 Download the GameTime app today.

Speaker 36 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 11 Glorious Captain Sloppy.

Speaker 3 Stugats. Is this Chumbucket?

Speaker 36 This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Speaker 21 Beluga caviar consists of salt-curated eggs of the beluga sturgeon.

Speaker 11 Oh, ally.

Speaker 14 Okay. Sturgeon, whale.

Speaker 3 You said so matter-of-factly that you were right on that.

Speaker 34 I thought I was.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 14 I grew up thinking beluga whales equals beluga caviar.

Speaker 13 But you're right.

Speaker 14 That's what makes a whale a mammal, is that they give live birth.

Speaker 11 Live birth.

Speaker 8 Although whale sharks, not whales.

Speaker 3 Chris, can you get me an assortment of sounds?

Speaker 3 I've gotten distracted today because I meant to start the show during the shadow show before Billy put me in an ascot with three sounds that I wanted to go to today from last week for a particular reason.

Speaker 3 Can you get me the Kendrick Perkins first on just,

Speaker 3 and please add to the list. Tell me what others are in show history that would feel or sound like this.
Get me that Kendrick Perkins sound. Bam out of the bayou.

Speaker 3 So that's him trying to say, Bam out of bayou. Bam out of the bayou.

Speaker 3 And he did not say it correctly. And then we've also got poor Mad Dog last week trying to say the name of Yankees pitcher Schlittler.

Speaker 3 And then we'll get into Schlitzner, who obviously was Panama, was Schittler.

Speaker 3 And we also have just Gronk being Gronk.

Speaker 3 I'm scared of Ameka Abuka's name because

Speaker 3 of how he says it. I get scared to say it.

Speaker 29 I was saying this in my house to myself all the time.

Speaker 11 Imika Ekbigbegbu.

Speaker 47 Imika Ekbegbu.

Speaker 11 That's his name now.

Speaker 3 There were two stories I thought. You tell me if you think you have a bigger one than this, because I know the Chiefs being 3-3 and the Chiefs are always the biggest thing.

Speaker 3 But from yesterday's games, I thought the two takeaways that I had that were the biggest were: oh, Seattle is good. They're just simply good.

Speaker 3 And they have somebody who is now challenging Justin Jefferson for Sam Darnold's really going to have like the best weapon in the league yards per catch at receiver because I think Smith and Jigba has snuck up on some people.

Speaker 3 Maybe shouldn't have, but best receiver in the league type good. I'm not sure a lot of people were having that conversation before this season and the number of yards that he has per catch.

Speaker 3 It's hard to talk about Seattle because that defense travels. They've won nine straight on the road.

Speaker 3 And they were favored yesterday at Jacksonville, like they were favored and should have been because they're not as dumb as that team is.

Speaker 3 They're not that Jacksonville, that's exactly how Jacksonville is going to play in all of those games when they meet the very best of the disciplined teams.

Speaker 3 And Seattle has something in the connection between its quarterback and that wide receiver that they have big plays the way nobody has big plays. So there's that one story over there.

Speaker 3 But then seeing Tampa again with injuries, and I thought Baker Mayfield pulled off. the two consecutive plays that were like blow your head off on weight.

Speaker 3 On third and 16, he's going to put his shoulder down and he's going to run over two defensive backs because he needs 16 or whatever it was.

Speaker 3 It was third and 15 and he needs 16 and he's going to get stopped three yards short the way every other quarterback would in the league except wait Baker's really gonna do that with his will it ain't even gonna be about his body because he's too small we all know he's too small and then no receivers left for him to throw to

Speaker 3 no receiver everybody's hurt for him no receivers and you're playing the team everybody's hurt for them but they win in this spot when everyone's hurt for them fred warner's gone now too

Speaker 3 but you go right after that You put Tampa and spin it on your finger, the entire city, because you're such a gunslinger that after that play, you're going straight to the end zone with whatever receivers you got.

Speaker 3 And you get the touchdown, it's like the opposite of everything the Dolphins are.

Speaker 14 And that's why DraftKings' latest NFL MVP odds have Baker Mayfield third, number three, and rising.

Speaker 3 That game was so much fun, and I feel bad for the 49ers.

Speaker 8 That's brutal.

Speaker 29 There's no coming back from that one to Fred Warner.

Speaker 6 For me, that was like the main takeaway is

Speaker 29 this incarnation of the Niners.

Speaker 29 I'm not going to say they're windowism because they have a a head coach that has found ways, but this incarnation of the 49ers, that might have been the window shutting.

Speaker 3 But what

Speaker 3 just what it takes, right? Like, I mean, so this.

Speaker 16 This is a gruesome injury, too.

Speaker 29 I was really looking forward to watching Fred Warner versus Baker Midfield.

Speaker 3 And he always plays.

Speaker 47 Like,

Speaker 3 he's not the one that's ever hurt. It's everybody else.
It's never him.

Speaker 3 And now Debo's questionable tonight, like, what that sport does and what it's taken in that sport to go from Garoppolo to Mac Jones to how are we going to figure out how to do this?

Speaker 3 Because we got Trent Williams and we had Kittle. We don't have him anymore.
We can make it with Purdy. He's the last pick in the draft.
We can make it with Mac Jones, regardless, anything.

Speaker 3 You don't need to make this about injuries. On third and 15, Baker wasn't going to be stopped by any people who make tackles in that league because that's the story around him now.

Speaker 3 And then he goes to the end zone on the next play, and he doesn't have his Hall of Famers. Like it's, he's not, he's not throwing to Mike Evans.

Speaker 30 Baker Mayfield was missing missing wide receiver one, wide receiver two, wide receiver three, wide receiver four,

Speaker 8 right tackle one, right guard number one.

Speaker 16 His team was somehow more beat up.

Speaker 32 RB1, his team was somehow more beat up than San Francisco.

Speaker 3 Tez Johnson only gets in the position to get that opportunity because everyone else is hurt.

Speaker 29 The quote from Jim Nance, as he was calling that incredible rushing play by Baker Mayfield, was, he doesn't have a chance.

Speaker 17 Oh, yes, he does.

Speaker 22 It happened just like that.

Speaker 48 He doesn't have a chance. Oh, yes, he does.

Speaker 18 If I told you two and a half years ago, would you rather have Tua or Baker?

Speaker 4 We were doing that conversation.

Speaker 30 Everybody answered Tua.

Speaker 3 But no, the other conversation that's funny about that, though, this is what's funny about that one, right, Tony?

Speaker 3 Because Justin Herbert made the play that Tua can't make because Justin Herbert in that spot is of the size that makes you doubt Tua, but not Herbert.

Speaker 20 So did Drake May, by the way. We can name like 15 quarterbacks that made the play you needed to make.

Speaker 26 Yeah, well, Baker's closer to Tua than he is to Herbert in terms of stature.

Speaker 11 Not, not, not heart, not guts, not guile, not dog, not balls. No, well, well, not CNBs, power.

Speaker 15 Not the CNBs.

Speaker 3 See, wait a minute. Like, the part that's not fair about this is that only one of them has been wracked by brain injuries.
I'm not going to question Tua's toughness.

Speaker 4 CNBs, though, Dan.

Speaker 3 I'm not going to question Tua's toughness, but what I will say is I have never been the person, I do not do this,

Speaker 3 where I say, yeah, Baker was going to make that first down against everybody. Because I don't, I mean, the mythology of sports is silly.
Like,

Speaker 3 we do this after we get the result every time, but to have those two plays back to back to beat that team, which has been the champion in that sport, like it's been championed good.

Speaker 3 It hasn't quite won the championship, but that team's the standard for you overcome in that sport. Like, look what happened to Baltimore when they can't overcome.

Speaker 3 Like, that team overcomes, and you slayed them in your house, and you slayed them in, like, the best and most emotional way. The kids who are at that game will remember those two plays in adulthood.

Speaker 16 And he does that every week.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like, Baker Mayfield is making generational fandom for those in attendance week after week.

Speaker 14 Yeah, he'd become a folk hero in Tampa. He's a dog.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 32 Not just at Tampa.

Speaker 30 Baker Mayfield, week after week, is doing something that sticks out on your NFL Sunday.

Speaker 11 Everyone's come around on this guy.

Speaker 48 Everybody loves this guy. Everyone, that style of play resonates.

Speaker 15 Say, no, he's not the tallest.

Speaker 24 All right. He's not genetically blessed.
And he is throwing the ball better, Damier, better than anyone in the league right now.

Speaker 42 He is just a dog.

Speaker 3 The thing, though, that does, I'm not going to go after Tua for toughness, but when I give you the stat of the Dolphins are broken, they're quarterback. I can't beat the good teams.

Speaker 3 Baker did that at the Seattle team I was just talking about. That Seattle team has 1-9 1-9 straight on the road.
That Seattle team is rugged.

Speaker 14 And Sam Darnold's pretty good, too.

Speaker 3 And nobody was slinging. They were slinging it back and forth.

Speaker 3 Baker took it from them at the end.

Speaker 3 And this is how the league's stories at that position get rewritten as the quarterbacks get old and go to the booth, Brady and Romo and Aikman, and all of them are in the booth now.

Speaker 3 But they're telling the stories of the kids, right? And this is how the league gets taken over when you're watching all the games on Sunday Sunday and then you're like, wait a minute.

Speaker 3 Oh, I've got to pay attention to just Baker now. Everybody get out of the way.
Is Baker going to do this in the last two minutes? Is Baker going to Baker? Like,

Speaker 3 this is how you get rid of nobody's thinking about Ben Rofflisberger anymore.

Speaker 3 Like, Aaron Rodgers will hold on to the end, but it's in these stories that they have to be in the playoffs for someone like Lamar Jackson.

Speaker 3 But it is kind of amazing to see that Tua can't beat the good teams and Baker has climbed out of the sewer to beat the good teams because his career was finished.

Speaker 32 Fulfilling promise.

Speaker 29 It's weird that this is happening with a number one overall draft pick.

Speaker 23 But yeah, that's what happens when you're running scout for the Carolina Panthers as a D end.

Speaker 32 Remember the NFL 100 commercial?

Speaker 29 It ends with Baker sitting at a table next to Tom Brady, and Baker was coming off a really good rookie season. And everyone's like, yeah, this makes sense.

Speaker 30 One day this guy will be a face of the league.

Speaker 22 Well, he's a face of the league now.

Speaker 29 He's up there.

Speaker 23 He's one of the faces that represent this league.

Speaker 23 No one could have accounted for the twists and and turns that story took.

Speaker 14 And part of it is just the swashbuckling style and the idea that he will take a tackle. He's not going to slide all the time.
And he's so small to be a swashbuckler.

Speaker 14 You know, you expect that style from Josh Allen, who's as big as a linebacker. But Baker Mayfield doing it as a small guy, very impressive.

Speaker 21 I love swashbuckling.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 21 He does honestly seem like a buccaneer. Like, he seems like he would kill it at Gasparilla.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Does Baker Mayfield look like he would kill it at Gasparilla?

Speaker 21 Like, Like Carolina was not as much a fit for him.

Speaker 21 No. LA also, I don't think, was really like vibing.

Speaker 19 Tampa fits.

Speaker 21 Tampa, he's a Tampa guy.

Speaker 14 That's exactly right.

Speaker 3 The part about it that to me is the coolest, because we can make up these stories about anybody if we want to believe in the mythology.

Speaker 3 The part that's the coolest is show me all the other guys in the league as you're watching Justin Fields and what the Jets are. Show me all the other guys in the league.

Speaker 3 Even as I'm arguing with Nick Wright and the rest of you about what Patrick Mahomes looks like when he doesn't have the right receivers. It's not just that Baker Mayfield is winning.

Speaker 3 It's he doesn't get the cheat code of Mike Evans is always open. Like the receivers he won that game with are not, those are guys that you're not throwing to on Sundays.

Speaker 3 You can't have all your receivers out. What do you think that would look like if I took, what do you imagine the Dolphin offense would look like if I just took out Waddle, Washington, and Hill?

Speaker 42 You killed the Chiefs because they were missing two guys.

Speaker 3 Nick Wright explains what the hell this bet is next.

Speaker 19 Guys, join us Thursday, October 30th.

Speaker 43 We mentioned it earlier in the show.

Speaker 19 We're throwing a Miller Light watch party for Thursday night football.

Speaker 39 Dolphins versus Ravens.

Speaker 44 Wake the kids up for this one.

Speaker 20 Like I said, Flanagan's in Kendall, Southwest 88th Street, and Kendall Drive. It's a Halloween block party.

Speaker 19 Costumes are encouraged.

Speaker 44 Come hang with the crew. Dan, Billy, Chris, Tony, Jeremy, Amin, Dave, Damshek, and more.

Speaker 19 Party starts at 6, kickoff at 8:15.

Speaker 44 Don't miss Flanagan's

Speaker 19 $1,500 costume contest.

Speaker 39 Good vibes, plus great football equals Miller time.

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