Local Hour: Goodbye Billy, Hello Stevie (feat. Some Hot Guy Who Used To Work Here)

45m
"MOTHER******, ARE YOU HIGH?"

It's a local hour dedicated to Billy Gil on his last day on the show, including Billy's first words ever spoken on the air, Billy's trouble in Bristol, Billy's purposeful self-sabotage, Billy's open seat auditions, and the return of one of our show's most beloved characters of all-time...

Today's cast: Billy, Billy, Billy, and more Billy.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Listen and follow along

Transcript

Now's a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began.

In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila.

Cuervo.

What are you doing here?

Cuervo.

Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

Well, I do know that to be true, but even during ad reads, like Cuervo, I think you could lay out, especially for one of our great partners.

Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots.

The same family, the same land, the same passion.

Cuervo.

So, enjoy the tequila that started it all.

Cuervo.

Cuervo.

The tequila that invented tequila.

Proximo, Quervo.com, please drink responsibly.

Cuervo.

Folks, losing at fantasy football has consequences.

It really does.

I mean, a new tattoo, a bad haircut, waffle challenges.

I've seen those waffle challenges.

Those look delightful.

You're stressing me out with that soundboard.

Well, fantasy football is stressful.

So stressful that it can lead to nighttime teeth grinding.

Dentech's mouth guards help with nighttime teeth grinding.

I'm actually a grinder, and it's a problem I have and that's why Dentech wants to protect your teeth while raising the stakes with this fantasy season.

This is very exciting.

If you want the loser of your fantasy league to live in infamy at the 2026 Football All-Star Game, sign up for the ultimate fantasy football punishment at dentech.com slash ultimate punishment.

No purchase necessary open to legal residents of the 50 U.S.

states and DC who are 21 years of age or older.

Contest ends on December 8th, 2025.

Void where prohibited.

For details and official rules, visit dentech.com/slash ultimate punishment.

What What does 268 horsepower sound like?

You're hearing it right now.

The all-new Audi A5

with breathtaking acceleration that commands attention.

Precision crafted to bring the thrill to every turn.

This is powerful performance.

The all-new Audi A5

Now what?

This doesn't qualify.

This does not qualify.

It's got to be huge breaking news.

It's not just sniffing around Bill Belichick.

He's a voyeur at this point.

This is getting weird.

It's not a big episode unless it means there.

That's true.

But it is a pretty ridiculous episode.

I mean, it's a good find.

The lost tapes and whatnot.

It's a great find, but you know what it is, Mike?

It's a window into

how the power dynamics at play because i think all this time we've been saying it's jordan and she's running the stuff or whatever and according to this episode it's a game of thrones it's not just her

because mike lombardi's in there too and he's got the ear and he's pulling but at the same time him and jordan don't like each other And so it's like a competition for the ear of the king.

So it's it's a fast.

How long is this thing going to blow?

You know who comes out smelling like this?

Matt Patricia.

Wow.

And all this.

He's even had a glow-up of sorts.

He's skinny.

Patricia is skinny.

Patricia is actually a Chris Cody thing.

Are you regretful that you were there the first day that the bomber thing came out?

I mean, because now it feels like you're part of this situation, and I would imagine this is burning some bridges for you professionally.

I absolutely nuked any relationship I have with the Clippers.

Yeah, and you didn't have any sense that that was going to happen when you sat down that day.

No, I didn't know what it was about.

I picture me walking into LA with the clippers.

To be fair, though, are you really that plugged in with the Clippers?

I used to be.

He was wearing a Clippers jersey in the episode, and it wasn't a costume.

He wasn't faking it.

Like,

that was the second episode.

That was trolling.

What?

No.

You're just supporting like.

No, I was giving them the benefit of the doubt.

I don't think that that whispering wind uh qualifies for this episode i mean i'll you've heard it i have not heard the whole episode i know what it's about but um this this should only be for big national breaking news that's going to get everyone talking the wind shouldn't blow for anything else it's not yeah it's not a big breaking news but it is incredible context to a situation that we're familiar of and and through Pablo's reporting and also what's happened during the season.

But now it's like, oh, now I get what the power dynamics at play are, and that's what makes it really interesting.

I am told, Chris, that a lot of people here who don't know necessarily how they want to express their feelings toward Billy want to do so through song.

That Jeremy says that he wants to say goodbye.

He's not supposed to be in today.

Nobody asked him to come in.

Billy didn't ask him to be in the business.

They definitely didn't ask for Jeremy.

Jeremy wants to serenade Billy with song on his last day?

He's not the only one.

Well, this is a good question that you ask.

We often ask it about Greg Cody.

He too wants to serenade you with song, and I don't know if he's doing that for him or for you.

Chris, have you heard Greg Cody's song?

Yeah, and it's a tear jerker.

Oh, no.

We're going to start sad.

Strap it on, boys.

It's a turker.

Strap what on?

Is something happening with Billy?

You became the dude

as you vaulted higher A useless sound not hard to find

And our love for you

It was forged in fire

Every time you blew your mind

Skeptical at times

But nuance always knows How to make us feel without you on the show

You won't be back Jack Our favorite hypochondriac

So bang those pots and pans into the sky

To go where apple pies and eagles fly

It's hard to say goodbye

An onion won't be the thing to make us cry

But it's hard to say goodbye,

I got no shot today.

I got no shot of being any good today.

Billy, it was a tearjerker.

It was a tearjerker.

And just tap into that emotional repression of yours.

This is the forged in fire for me.

Think of the bad moments.

Well, we've got top five things Billy won't miss.

Do you want to just start the show there?

No, we can both

lies.

Okay.

We also have like last night was a great night for old guy in sports.

Actually, three old arms.

Three old arms.

Because I'm going to throw Aaron Rodgers throwing a Hail Mary 70 yards in there.

That's crazy.

The biggest one, the biggest story from last night was Scherzer, but we'll get to all the other.

A throw from Aaron Rodgers.

What a great, incomplete pass.

if he had five more yards as i got in the back of the end zone open by the way he had five more yards i think their odds in the afc went down after watching that incomplete dare i say the greatest incomplete pass ever oh i don't know he's had a couple of those that one is pretty incredible i watching flacco go into the wayback machine and have the bengals make it look easy was legitimately confusing to me like wait a minute how can flacco beat burrow for a day nobody can throw for 350 yards unless they're trying to come from behind what do you mean he's going to do it all game where it just everyone's going to be open whenever Flacco wants him to be open because no one can cover Jamar Chase.

Oh, that's right.

No one can cover Jamar Chase.

How bad is Browning?

Chase had like 23 targets in this game.

Insane.

My favorite subplot of the NFL season is this war between Joe Flacco and Mike Tomlin that has been right under our noses, but we haven't paid attention to it really.

Well, let's get to these sounds in a second because how does it escape our attention that we found the guy that makes Mike Tomlin blink?

Like, clearly, Mike Tomlin is afraid of Flacco and for good reason.

Like he's been trying to warn us.

He's been telling us for years certain things won't allow you to get out of the stadium.

One of them is Flacco.

And get the sound here.

We haven't played much of this sound of him, Tomlin, before this game, just warning us again and again.

I don't want any part of Flacco.

Please, you guys, don't injure Anthony Richardson.

I don't want Flacco in the game.

I'm afraid of the veteran quarterback.

You know, to be honest, it was shocking to me.

Andrew Berry must be a lot smarter than me or us because it doesn't make sense to me to trade a quarterback that you think enough of to make your opening day starter to a division opponent that's hurting in that area.

But that's just my personal feelings.

He's like, hey, Browns, why are you trading them to the Bengals?

He said it before the game, and look what we saw.

That's as afraid as we've ever heard that man.

That man who's never had a losing season in our most violent sport, who wins every season, we've never heard him afraid of anybody except clearly Joe Flacco.

Like, make no mistake about it.

Because Because weeks before that, he told us, yeah, we were trying to keep their other young quarterback healthy because we didn't want to see Flacco.

A year ago, we're playing in Indianapolis, man, and I commented to the guys that, you know, keep Richardson upright.

Don't put Flacco in the game.

And, you know, Flacco ended up in the game.

Has someone ever won a comeback player of the year because of the comeback within one singular season?

Like, he's just coming back from being with the Browns.

Do you know how hard it is to be better than

the comeback player that you already are that you won over a guy who died on the field and came back?

Talk about breathing life in a franchises.

That's what Joe Flacco does.

A breath of fresh air, a breath of new life for NFL franchises.

Tone,

the Bengals now are in play.

They're back, baby.

All of a sudden, we're all like three and four.

Can he get them to burrow?

Can Flacco just get him to bury?

The bridge quarterback we needed, the 40-year-old.

He is the living embodiment of Marty McFly's parents kissing at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance.

Like, the Bengal season's disappearing.

I was like, oh, my God.

I don't feel so good, Doc.

They kiss, like, Earth Angel, Earth Angel.

I need Pablo to investigate the urban legend surrounding Joe Flacco's comeback player of the year win because in league circles, there was chatter that Joe Flacco was supposed to, if he won the award, give it to DeMar Hamlin in a nice moment.

Wow.

And as the urban legend goes, like Flacco's like, get out of of here.

This is my award.

I want it.

The only way to do better than win comeback player of the year over a guy who came back from the dead is to be able to come back from the Browns tried directly at the end, and you wouldn't let it happen.

And now you're out there roaming around, and your remains are literally haunting the man that we thought Mike Tomlin had no fear.

Like he's clearly haunted by the idea.

You guys are really going to give him the division?

I had it right there.

It was going to be five and one.

We were going to bury the Bengals forever.

And I can't because now Fondo's roaming around in the division.

And oh, my God, they've got good receivers.

Oh, my God.

They gave all their money to the receivers.

So I thought, I'm looking forward to talking to Dominique Foxworth about this because the game I watched last night, I thought Jalen Ramsey played well.

But T.

Higgins is really good.

And on that last play.

T.

Higgins is also paid a huge amount of money to make that last play.

And I'd like to know, what is your measurement, guys, on the game Jalen Ramsey played last night?

Because with the running game the Bengals had, their corners were on an island and didn't have a real chance.

But the one that had no chance was whoever's guarding Jamar Chase.

They decided Ramsey's going to be on Higgins and he slowed Higgins, but not if Higgins and Chase are going to be what they've been for three seasons that are the reason the Bengals paid them all that money.

Tony, yes or no, Jalen Ramsey played a good game last night.

Yeah, look, it's hard to play a good game when you're constantly getting beat by two really great receivers, right?

Like as a corner, it's a failure position.

It's almost like hitting 300.

You're going to fail 70% of the time, but you're still going to hit 300.

As a good corner, you fail more than you succeed, but when you do succeed, it's big.

It just feels like when you're getting 23 targets, that's usually never happening to somebody you're guarding.

I can't believe how easy the Bengals made offense look last night, but I do want to spend today making sure while we celebrate old people, we celebrate as as well that Billy Gill has a montage of things here, of sounds that we have.

It's a connection to old people there.

You are getting older.

Yeah, that sometimes

you can't dispute what Tony said.

You are getting older.

Am I?

Are you getting younger?

Some would say.

We have sound here of Billy's first words on the program as we go full nostalgic and biographical.

Billy, do you have any recollection whatsoever?

Do you have any context for this sound that we're going to play?

Do you remember your first words on the program?

No.

Have you seen this?

Do you know anything about what Chris Cody has dug up here that are your first sounds on the program?

I don't.

I remember starting, though, off with a confidence that is uncommon to most people.

The vault, and it is a vault.

Okay, that's what Strugg and Mary Lou Retin did.

Okay.

The vault is the vault.

Okay.

It's a form of the pommel horse without the handles.

The pommel horse is only used in men's gymnastics.

Okay, so you can't vault off the pommel horse.

You can in female gymnastics, but the horse without the handles.

It serves a dual purpose.

Sort of.

We need to get to the bottom of this.

I cannot have this leaking into the next segment.

Just tell me so that I can get it out of my brain and move on to other topics.

Please, Billy, not sort of.

Just tell me.

Can you vault off the pommel horse?

Does anybody do this?

They used to, but not anymore okay

not an answer they used to you can if you're an idiot all right moving on no no no no you want to keep it right here no i don't want to

that's the first time he ever spoke how many and then there was a texter the next segment people were not happy with billy

texture writes in i believe we can all agree with this billy is the worst

billy just uttered a couple of syllables there but already you have turned on him his radio debut i'm pretty sure that was Billy's radio debut on our program.

He uttered about four syllables total.

I thought he was efficient and funny.

People don't want to hear from anybody

who isn't us.

They have turned on Billy for using the same microphone that they complain that Mike Ryan sometimes turns on.

Boy, things have gotten out of control around here in terms of how much the people speak.

Billy, how many shows did you go without speaking?

How many shows did this week did you work here?

Two years.

Like, you used to have to earn.

Yeah.

I was on his show for two plus years before I said anything.

Sitting in the corner with Stevie, who could barely log the show just answering the phone.

Even that I'd have to type in the description.

That was quite the producer battle.

Stevie.

King of the Mountain.

Who wants it, boys?

You were Stevie.

And you guys just all, you and Stugat just wanted to be Stevie's friend the whole time.

You're like, man, Stevie's so hot.

What's wrong with you guys?

I invited Stevie to my wedding.

I don't feel like it's fair to group me and you and Stugatz thought that Stevie was so hot.

He was so bad.

But we just love the vibes.

He's like, oh, yeah, man, I forgot to log the show today.

You do use CV.

You're doing great.

You guys treated him also like Joe was like, how the ladies are treating you, Stevie.

He's like,

I live this weekend.

Like, ah, Stevie.

His dad was like friends with Stugat.

Stevie.

Vibes.

He works hard.

Hey, audience.

I got a special treat for you because I want to talk to you about Miller Light, but I want to talk to you about Miller Light with my good friend Rose.

Hey, Rose.

Hi, everybody.

When we hang out and we hang out often, we're friends.

I consider us friends.

Yeah, me too.

We're often toasting the good times.

And what am I toasting with?

With Miller Light.

That's right, Miller Light.

Whether you're hanging out with your dear friend Rose or at game day, it just hits different when you got a Miller Light in your hand.

From jaw-dropping touchdowns to fantasy heartbreaks, it's a beer that has been there for every moment.

50 years of great taste, simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color that you can spot across the room.

And it's just not the color of the beer, which is brilliant.

That beautiful white can.

How beautiful is that?

Is that you doing the sound of a can opening?

Is that your favorite sound?

Oh, no.

It is a horsey.

A horsey?

All right, we'll stop doing that.

And here's a kicker.

Miller Light is just 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

The original light beer since 1975.

That's right.

And still hitting different five decades later.

You're so good at this, Rose.

I know.

So whatever your game day looks like, remember, Miller time is always a good time.

Look at us.

We're a great tag team.

Time five again.

Can you do that beer sound one more time?

And the horse sound one more time?

I regret asking you about that one, but the Miller Light sound is good.

Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Go to MillerLight.com/slash shin to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller time.

Celebrate responsive.

Blee.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

10.

96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounce.

On sess.

No, it says.

Oh, sess.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm someone that's constantly adding stuff to different carts on random websites.

Like there's a teal marlins hat that's been calling to me for like two and a half years that I'm constantly getting advertisements for.

It's something eventually I'll purchase because I keep those things in the cart.

Then I see it.

That beautiful glowing purple shop pay button.

Boom, checkout's done.

I don't even have to get up and find my wallet.

That, my friends, is Shopify magic.

That little purple button means that the store is powered by Shopify, which doesn't just make it easy to buy, but ridiculously easy to start and run your own business too.

Whether you're a giant like Mattel or Gymshark or, you know, just launching something weird from your garage, Shopify has your back.

Let's be real, if we can run a show with this much chaos, you can run a business with Shopify.

With hundreds of beautiful templates, tools for payments, inventory, analytics, marketing, it goes on and on and it's all in one place.

If you want to see less carts being abandoned, it's time for you to head over to Shopify.

Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash batard go to shopify.com slash batard shopify.com slash batard

hey it's tony from the dan lebetard show and i gotta tell you something that makes me feel a lot safer with my wife and kid at home it's simply safe most security systems only react after a break-in and that's too late if you want to be honest real security stops crime before it even starts i just watched a video that was absolutely terrifying and arson arson is trying to light a family home on fire.

And you know what?

SimplySafe stopped it before anybody got hurt.

Their AI-powered camera spotted the threat, alerted the monitoring agent, and the intruder got confronted while still outside the house.

That's what I call real security, pre-security, not post-security.

I trust SimplySafe with my home, my family, and everything I care about.

No hidden fees, no long-term contracts.

And they've been named one of the best home security systems by U.S.

News for five years running.

Right now, Levitar Show listeners can get 50% off a SimplySafe system at simplysafe.com slash DLB.

That's simplysafe.com slash DLB.

Try it risk-free with their 60-day money-back guarantee and see why I trust them so much.

There's no safe like Simply Safe.

Don Lebatard.

Risk reward of going into the woods by yourself.

You die or you see some trees.

I'm not going to die to go see some trees.

Stugats.

Listen to me.

You've seen one tree.

You've seen them all.

Okay.

There's no special tree shout out.

That is absolutely not.

I feel like it's true.

There's no special tree shout out.

This is nonsense.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with these two guys.

Let's get some video here of Beepo and also more recently, right?

Because

Billy and Zaz had a moment the other day that I want to replay because I'm pretty sure it was the introduction of the mouthpieces.

The Dentec bucket mouthpiece, yeah.

Yeah, but let's play some of that back.

Going back back to the Clevelander, uh, let's get let's uh celebrate Beepo for a second.

He's something that we can make happen, right?

This is it, bro.

You take a turnover chain, you put on the Cuban flag beanie, and that's it.

You walk out with Jorge, and that's it.

Bean bomb, baby, bro.

You've got to give him a Cuban flag.

He's gonna quit before the fight even starts because he's gonna see what's up.

As soon as you walk to the ring with him, you take a gazuela, you start making.

Let me fight it.

Hold on,

you just

Sugats.

That's how you need to go out of the ring.

And they are the fight.

You don't have this, Sugats.

You don't have this in you.

You just broke something.

Yes, right?

And guess what else is going to get broken?

Mate's face is hitting a friend.

I don't know her second.

I'm telling you, bro.

All right, so I'm going to trade with Guillermo.

I mean, how do I handle today weaving between sports and celebrating what is obviously an emotional last day for all of us without allowing the emotion to get in the way of an emotional last day for all of us.

Wait, whose last day is it?

Eve's.

I know.

I saw that email.

I was crushed.

Shout out to Eve Wolfe.

Thank you for your service.

We should have made this a Stevie Coltoon tribute show.

Oh, my God.

I want to learn more about the Stevie Calculator.

I've never heard of him.

He's the best.

Recently got married.

Ah, congratulations.

They tied him down, huh?

You didn't get the invite back?

Man.

Wow.

I was a little raw about that, to be honest.

By the way, Kevin Nagandi says, says, congratulations, Billy.

Ran into him last night.

The great Kevin Nagandi.

Wow.

Didn't we accuse him of putting a mirror over his bed?

Yeah.

I think that was me.

I don't even want to look up.

Kevin Nagandi.

We were saying who at ESPN most looks like they have a mirror over their bed.

But he looks at himself.

He's just looking at his face.

No one's ever been more excited to see us in Bristol than Kevin NiGandi.

It was awesome.

He's so nice.

With Victor Cruz, who could not have care less about it at all.

Bristol's so weird.

I loved it.

It's so weird.

Just walk around the corner like, oh, there's Linda Cohn.

I went down a Billy Rabbit hole last night on YouTube.

Anyone else do that?

Bye.

Now, I did stumble into a best of montage myself, but

I got a good stand on that one?

I got a good 10 minutes into Billy Montage.

You thought about quitting.

How long was that?

30 seconds?

No, it was like 19 minutes, actually.

19 minutes?

When I got fired, someone made it.

Oh, wow.

Oh, so this is all pre.

got it

can you tell me uh mike ryan if uh during your dinner with kevin nagandhi anything presented itself that made it more accurate what we've just alleged that not only is kevin nagandhi the person at espn most likely to have a mirror on their roof in their bedroom but amin's contention that it's not to have sex it's just so that he can see himself in the mirror because

Good morning, Kevin.

Because television is the vanity business.

That's right.

Looking good, Kevin.

If you weren't up there, I'd love to have sex with you.

You look so good.

It's so cool.

I don't know why I made him Joe Tess.

You look great.

A couple things popped up from that interaction with Kevin Nagandi.

I was, as a goof, we were at Joe's, and I was wearing a bib.

And, you know, that's not cool when a guy, it's like that scene in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Like, I wish I wasn't wearing this Ethan shirt.

I was wearing a bib the entire time.

And also, Dan, congratulations.

You're at the point now where people ask,

How's Dan?

Oh,

with that face?

Yeah.

Is Dan okay?

Like, sucking teeth?

How's Dan?

The way people ask me about Poppy?

Yeah.

How's Dan?

While you were wearing a bib.

While I was wearing a bib.

I'm like, just living hot.

Yeah, I'm like, lives are good.

We got another deal.

Can you believe it?

i i it was it dawned on me that i used to work at the same company as kevin the gandhi i'm like what a weird time i don't feel like i was a member of espn all that much because we were working in the clevelander but like i'm like yeah it's my old co-worker kevin the gondi it was weird well you've heard billy uh billy walking around bristol and walking around a corner and seeing linda cone i'm guessing is like billy's children walking around disney world and seeing mickey mouse at the breakfast no they're terrified of the characters.

Kids are scared of the character.

Kids are weird, man.

It really is.

They talk about Mickey, Mickey, Minnie, Minnie.

Then they go see Mickey Minnie, they start crying.

It's like, Jesus.

My earliest, like, literally, well,

one of my earliest memories, went to Disney World, saw Goofy, wouldn't shake his hand because I thought he was going to bite it.

I was two years old.

And I like I could see.

I was 37.

I know I thought I was ball.

I got the ball.

I know.

I was in the son's front office at the time.

This was last week.

Billy, I'd like to hear more stories about you as the person who didn't speak on air here for two years, walking around Bristol for the first time, feeling disoriented because you didn't actually feel that we were a part of anything that ESPN was because we didn't feel like we belonged up there in the big leagues, I guess.

Well, those are different eras.

We ended up at ESPN after I had already been talking.

Bristol, though, was, I mean,

I remember some Bristol memories that we had.

We went on a trip that we had a meeting.

Me and Roy showed up at the meeting.

Chris was nowhere to be found.

We then found him in the commissary, the eating era,

with Tony Collins.

And he's like, I found Tony Collins.

We're doing a tour.

Recording some tent.

And I was like, that's a good idea.

You should do that.

And then he went after.

I missed the meeting?

Yeah.

I forgot who it was.

It was like a sales guy.

Yeah.

I'm pretty sure I wasn't invited to that one.

I remember that.

And then I remember scurrying about our last day.

It ended up being our last day ever in Bristol, but scurrying about our last day in Bristol to find a studio to do the Music Dome because that was when we were in the middle of the day.

We got in trouble.

We did get in trouble for that.

So the original idea was to do it at the Sports Center desk.

The real one?

Yo, yeah.

C2?

Yeah, yeah.

And they were,

they were very much like, you will not be doing that.

And then we found like another studio and they're like, you will not be doing that.

And then we just kept walking around and someone's like, hey, I work in the control room of a a studio.

You want to use our studio?

And we're like, absolutely.

And it was Matthew Berry's Fantasy Studio.

That was the puppet show.

And then we started playing with the puppets.

And we started playing with all of the knobs.

And Daniel Dopp, isn't he?

Not to ruin our sources.

I think he may have been the one that gave us that.

He's not there anymore.

Is he still in there?

He's like one of them.

They did a great job on Fantasy Focus.

One of their main fantasy talents now.

He's going to be there.

How about that, man?

Way to keep up.

Great guy.

He's my guy, man.

You met Daniel Dopp?

It seemed like he is your guy.

Great guy.

Oh, Dopp's my guy, man.

You never met Dopp, Dan?

You would have loved Dop.

He would have loved DopPop.

He had the show.

He was such a nice guy.

He engineered the live show.

Yeah, he was there.

He loved working with us.

You got in trouble your first day on the campus?

No, our last day ever.

Yeah, it was, it was, and we got some strongly worded emails after the fact for just crashing a set and not going through the proper protocol and furthermore playing with puppets that we should not have been playing.

But there is, it's like the sports center set is like a vault.

I haven't been there enough to actually know these things.

So

the real sports center set, the one they've had for the last like six or seven years.

So when you guys went, it probably would have been brand new.

It's massive.

It's very expensive.

And you can't just walk in there.

But even if you work there?

Even if you work there, man.

That's a crown jewel.

But Billy was an employee.

And so is everyone else.

You have to be an employee to be in the building.

I know, but why wouldn't employees be like if somebody in our building, not that we're ESPN, but if you needed to walk into one of our studios, people would walk in and out of our studios.

And is it because it's this precious heirloom that that set is a recognizable set?

And so no employee is allowed on it without like a frisking.

And you got to go through an x-ray and you got to go through bureaucracy and security?

I mean, you could like stumble onto the set, but you had to keep walking.

But we definitely were not going to be using the set to tell people that Thingamajig was Victor Ola Depot.

Deliver that.

I have now seen over the course of this week a couple of times, and I did not know it before seeing it a couple of times, though I could have suspected it, but I did believe in you, and I can be naive this way.

You clearly pulled that ladder over during your Dancing with the Stars update.

No, fuck it.

Dancing with the Stars.

Absolutely pulled.

What up, Stevie?

It almost killed you, by the way.

Oh, Stevie's on FaceTime.

Stevie's on FaceTime, Dan.

He is a hat.

Stevie, I mean, says, what's up?

Come back.

Well, Liz, a good look at that.

Come back, Stevie.

Stevie, the seat's open for you.

Oh, he's got a beard now.

Oh, Stevie's going to be here on Monday, Dan.

Just you wait and see.

Hopefully, you don't need the show to be long.

There you go.

That's a handsome guy.

No wonder that.

He looks like Mike Fuentes.

He looks all mature.

Stevie, you're on the air, pal.

Handsome Mike Fuentes.

What's up, boys?

Yeah!

What's up, Stevie?

Yeah, your vibes as always, pal.

Old home week.

The old crew is back.

I love it.

How the girls treating you, Stevie?

You know,

you guys miss me that much.

I love you.

Hey, congrats on being married.

Where was my invite, dog?

Invite for invite.

Oh, yeah, that is true.

That is true.

We missed the invite for invite, man.

That's the next DJ gig, man.

You know that.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you agree that Kevin Nagandi?

Dancing with the star.

How can I get that wrong?

We should do Billy's top five times we got in trouble at ESPN, given that.

We?

We?

How many oils?

I didn't get us in trouble.

We know number number one starting with the masked singer the day after the Super Bowl is one of the times you told me we got in trouble and I didn't know we got in trouble and we started with the masked singer after the Super Bowl because you're so good at doing the masked singer.

I believe that's when the ladder came down on close to me.

Is it not or was that a different

season three or season four, I think?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ladder.

The ladder thing was when we were kind of forced.

We were running out of things to do.

And then we saw a ladder in there and actual people was in there.

And I was like, I want to make this guy laugh.

And we pulled down that ladder.

I remember.

I mean, the ladder fell.

So I can say this now.

Billy reached the point where he didn't want to do it anymore.

He hated the bit, so he just tried to sabotage it.

Common thread.

Yeah.

It tends to happen.

Usually by his own design or by Joaquin Gonzalez's.

That guy.

It's a bit passive-aggressive because that skit was not my idea.

I still don't know what the difference is between dancing with the stars and the masked singer We were only doing that because you liked the mask singer you got tired of it and didn't tell me just we were doing it because you didn't like the mask singer very clearly It's a mask no hold on a second We were doing the masked singer because it was a pop culture moment and that was us connecting with what was going on in pop culture at the time.

However, you know pop culture continued to move on and we did not.

We just continued doing the mask singer over and over again.

And I will say that when

COVID came while it was horrible and we lost all of those people and it was a you know terrible situation all those lives lost

we also lost the ability to do the mass singer updates the music dome and i could not have been happier for the situation than working from so many notes like i'm telling you there would be pages of notes about look at the movie pad it was so unpleasant that wasn't a big end there were pages of notes yeah too many you guys didn't even want all the information but i had to give you all the clues so that we could guess along to figure out who the mass singer

was thing the Mag.

You clearly grabbed that ladder.

It's obvious now.

The investigation, Pablo Torrey finds out, has learned that ladder was purposely.

I didn't know at the time because it happened behind me.

I thought it was a mistake.

I really did.

I believed it was a mistake.

It's like when an offensive player pulls his defender, like, oh, I want to relive it with audio here.

Let's listen to the ladder fall.

The tree.

The tree.

All right.

The tree.

Was the tree the key?

All right.

The tree.

So expertly done.

Only because I was not

looking at you.

Did I not recognize that you were doing that on purpose?

Now, upon further listening, if you only have audio, see if you see and can hear where it is that Billy is fiddling around and grabbing for a ladder that was already supposed to fall because he missed it the first time he purposely grabbed it.

The tree.

The tree.

All right.

The tree.

All right.

The tree.

The The latter missed its cue.

The tree.

The tree.

The tree.

I can only describe it.

I don't know

what this world's gonna bring.

But I know one thing is that DraftKings has you covered for the NFL season.

With DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL, every touchdown could put cash in your hands.

I'm talking first touchdown scorers.

I'm talking anytime bets.

I'm talking live bets.

Every snap is an opportunity.

Imagine your team hits pay dirt and you get paid.

New customers, download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code DAN.

That's code D-A-N to turn five bucks into $300 in bonus bets if your bet wins.

In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is sure, sure, sure, sure.

Gambling problem?

Call 1-800-GAMBLER.

In New York, call 877-8 Hope and Wire.

Text Hope and Y-467-369.

In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling.

Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org.

Please play responsibly.

On behalf of Booth Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas, pass-through of per-wager tax may apply in Illinois.

21 and over.

Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction.

Void in Ontario.

Restrictions apply.

Bet must win to receive bonus bets which expire in seven days.

Minimum odds required.

For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co slash audio limited time offer

get nutty with hampton farms the official peanut of bowl season bringing you the ultimate game day snack there's nothing like the roar of the crowd the thrill of the play and the satisfying crack of fresh in-shell peanuts from the first kickoff to the final whistle hampton farms peanuts keeps your energy high and your taste buds happy join the celebration of college football with every delicious crunch purchase for sharing with friends tailgating outside the stadium or cheering from the couch Grab a bag from the produce aisle of your local grocery store and savor the game one peanut at a time.

Are your business expenses playing hide and seek?

With Uber for Business, the small spends that slip through the cracks, like rides and meals, go right where you need them.

Because it integrates with leading expense platforms.

You can say goodbye to surprise costs, missing dollars, or chasing receipts.

Everything's track-downable.

Uber for Business.

Make small steps that make a big impact.

Learn more at uber.com/slash small steps.

Don Lebatard.

That was a long story.

Yeah.

It's the only kind he tells.

It was a short one for me.

I tried to speed it up for you guys.

You forgot about the Leagues Cup.

Stugats.

Yeah.

La Carreta is a place where the best of the celebrations has to be the 97 Marlin celebration because it was Leviathan.

Well, when Fidel died the first time.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

play play the sound of Zaz and Billy arguing.

This is an all-time clip right here.

Honestly, when you had the swab helmet and he was in the studio, I was hoping you guys could recreate the magic.

Swab helmet is supposed to be a good thing.

You're swabbing with a person.

Not the team.

You swabble with a person.

You swabble with me?

You want to do business with me?

You want to swab with me?

Maybe I have the Broncos.

You want to swap?

No, I want to swap with the team.

I don't want to swap with you.

Who you caught?

That's not how I do business.

Well, you don't make the rules.

Maybe I got the commanders.

You want the commanders?

You ain't going to stop doing this to me.

Your microphone's off.

Yes, if you have the commanders, then I want to swap.

Say you want to do business with me?

If you have the commanders.

Say, I want to swap with Billy.

I want to swap with Billy if he has the commanders.

No, no contingencies.

Take a person to swap with.

This is what you get for not keeping up.

Yo, Chris, who you got?

I have the Jags.

Mike has the Cardinals.

They're the biggest favorite.

You son of a.

But Mike, I have to.

And I don't like to use that word, but you made me.

I might have the commanders.

Mike's is in this hand right here.

You have the commanders?

Maybe.

It's right here.

Take a look.

It's in this hand.

Let me see your hand.

You seeing it.

You blind?

You are the commander's?

I got my team in this hand right here.

You want them?

If that team is the commander's, I want it.

I think Chris Cody gave you a clue.

Want this team or not?

I don't want that team.

I'm declining.

I don't want that team.

Wow.

Your funeral.

It's as strong as you've ever been.

Gangster with a lisp.

It sounds like

Jonah Hill from Wolf of Wall Street with the fake teeth.

That's what Billy sounded like.

Jeremy wants to say goodbye to you emotionally, syrupy.

He wants to serenade you.

He's jealous of Greg Cody's song.

Jeremy's in the other room.

He also badly wants to talk about Scherzer putting on the best performance that there was from an old guy yesterday.

We're not going to let him do that.

But Jeremy, what do you have?

How do you want to say goodbye to Billy?

Thanks, Dan.

Yeah, I really wasn't sure how to say goodbye.

You know, I dressed as Billy today as tribute.

He's always been one of my favorite characters.

He welcomed me in with so much love and so much grace to

show.

And I didn't know how to put it into words.

And speaking to him in person, I didn't know how to even write it in a card.

So I decided, like Greg, like Yeti, I would try to put my words into a song.

So, Chris, I think you have that available.

Goodbye, Billy.

Goodbye, Billy.

Goodbye, Billy.

Good.

See you later, man.

And I mean it from the heart, Billy.

While Jeremy was setting that up,

the camera didn't show it.

Billy was hitting him with the rapid up.

Yeah, Billy was trying to speed him up.

Jeremy is vying for the position left open by Billy by trying to yammer more than Billy.

Stevie wants it, though.

Stevie thinks he's the run-runner right now.

Come to me.

Stevie's hot man.

The vibes.

Him or Yodanis Aslam or James Franklin.

We're going to have an open tryout for

Billy's seat.

Do you know how difficult it is, Jeremy, to yammer so much that Billy tries to wrap you up?

Well, you know, I learned from Billy that things like words can be, you know, because it's like, Charlie...

Charlie,

Charlie, well, you know, sometimes, and when, and when you think about photography, like really, all you have to do is just kind of point and go,

there's nothing that complicated about it.

And really, ultimately.

I vote for Stevie.

Clay Travis's contract's up.

Really?

I saw that article.

Oh, man.

Free agent.

Shitstain.

We refer to him as Shitstain.

Need a little more balance.

Need a couple of shitstains.

Put yourself on a list.

I do want to talk in this local hour.

We will spend the show celebrating Billy and Dominique Foxworth.

We'll be around here a little bit later.

Matthew Berry will be here as well.

Ask him about that.

But

Louisville and Miami play tonight.

Louisville.

And if people

want

to pounce on Miami quickly, because very little annoys the national audience more than anything that resembles the you is back talk.

But there will be people nationally tonight rooting for the whole Miami thing to not be real, for Louisville to win, create more chaos in college football, and produce one of the great things that I missed since Sabin left.

Where are the teams that you root to lose, that you don't want them to get back on top?

Because Miami looks more formidable than they have looked in in 20 years,

maybe 25.

It looks like the most balanced, physical, fast, violent, beat you in more ways team that there is, as I mentioned all week.

There just aren't a lot of teams good enough that the money will tell you, yeah, they're two touchdowns better than an offense that

is scary.

Like

a Louisville team that offensively has been scary for a while and can put up 40 at a time.

If that defense is real and if Miami is real, what the moment commands is they do not allow the nation on a Friday night stage to laugh at Miami because none of it was real.

Normally, I'd be super nervous about this game, and I think I respect Jeff Braum.

Like Miami, they're coming off a buy.

Jeff Brahm is an incredible play caller, NFL

level play caller.

They have a really talented, outstanding wide receiver that's going to be a first-rounder in Chris Bell.

But,

you know, typically these Friday ACC games...

They're a little spooky.

Miami historically has actually randomly been really good on these Friday nights.

I think 10-3 overall since they joined the ACC.

But Louisville really struggles at what Miami excels at.

That is a bad offensive line.

This is a game where Ruben Bain can get after it and pad those stats.

Everyone understands while watching the game that he is dominating the game, but he's not racking up the sack totals the way that you would like.

They're bad at pass protection with their running backs.

The Skinner was here in Miami, and he hasn't improved whatsoever.

His frame is the same, and he can't block worth a damn.

So this is a game where Ruben Bain can really, with a...

TV window all to himself, can further entrench himself in that conversation, as well as Carson Beck, who has good numbers and should be in that conversation as well.

Louisville historically, and you're going to have to help me here because not just with the pronunciation, I can't tell you how good statistically Louisville's defense is, but in my lifetime, they've never had a good one.

In my entire lifetime, Louisville.

It's not that hard.

Not with Schnellenberger, not with anybody, has Louisville ever had a good defense.

This is probably, they've played each other since Mario Cristobal has been here, the battle for the boots, the bronze boots.

The last three years, I would say this is probably their strongest defense of that era.

Remember, like these two teams combined for like 90-something points last season.

That was actually a game that I was surprised Miami won.

They were kind of in control of that game, but it was like, I think 52-45 at the end.

This is probably, in terms of talent...

and effectiveness, the weakest offense that Jeff Braum has had going up against Mario Cristobal.

Quarterback, Miller Moss, a former USC USC guy.

You know, he's all right.

Brown's a really good running back, but he seems a little hobbled, but he can break away and be a game breaker.

It should be, you know, this is talent-wise, though, this is the toughest test on Miami's schedule to date.

Did Billy check out?

You think it's talent-wise?

You think you wait, I don't think I agree with you there.

Talent-wise, on Miami's remaining schedule, I think that this is the toughest test remaining on their schedule.

I think that at pit, maybe I have PTSD from like ending a season against a freshman quarterback at pit with the playoffs on the team.

No, that's just ACC fear on the road.

The pit's playing better.

SMU's got, that'll be an interesting road test too.

But I think in terms of overall talent, Louisville is probably the most talented team remaining on Miami's schedule.

But not more talented than the three teams they've already been.

No.

No.

But, you know, the season's a war of attrition, and I keep holding on to it.

And this is not an emotional hedge.

I just don't think this is the kind of year that you see a team go undefeated.

You keep doing that, though, and you know what's coming your way if they lose this one.

Like, you know, yeah, yeah, embarrassment, shame, the rest of the nation reveling in it.

And those are the stakes now, which is great.

Like, we had the conversation that if you know they lost this game,

oh my god, uh-oh,

there's no way.

Oh, my God.

What is this shit that you guys are talking about?

Ben Louis Ville and Luis Vildez, and they're not gonna beat the K's.

The K's are gonna beat the shit out of this team today.

I'm telling you that right now.

And you guys have been saying, hold on this time, where has Peebo been?

Where is he?

What's going on?

Let me tell you a little story.

I can't believe this.

Four years ago, a company was started.

And there was this man with an accent.

And his name was Gilligan something.

And he said, we are going to reinvent the wheel.

And we are going to make all of these movies.

And the first movie that we're going to make is about you, people.

And I said, that sounds dope as hell.

How many are we going to make?

And he said, four parts.

And I said, that's sick.

Four documentaries about people.

I can't wait for the world to hear my story.

And he said, I'm going to make you a very wealthy man, people.

And I said, that's great.

What are we talking here?

Millions, billions?

He said, millions.

And I said, great.

How are you going to pay me, bro?

And he said, I'm going to pay you

in stock options.

And I said, what the hell does that mean?

And then he was like, well, Mr.

People, this is how it's going to work.

And I said, great, you're going to give it to me now.

He said, well, four years, something about a vest.

Four years, something happens with a vest.

And I said, so in four years, I get all of that money.

And he's like, well, not exactly, Mr.

People.

And I was like, well, what are you talking about?

He said, well, in four years, you're going to get the opportunity to give me money for those stock options that I'm giving you.

And I said, motherfucker, are you high?

He said, no, no, I stopped that.

And I said, hey, enough of that.

Get out of here with that shenanigans.

And you thought that I wasn't going to come.

And I wasn't going to come.

And the reason that I came is because I heard that someone said yesterday that I was an embarrassment to our people.

Someone insinuated that I disappeared because I was an embarrassment to our people.

This gotta chio over there

with that great shit on his face.

And if you go back and you look, Mike, if you happen to know, and Pablo Torre can maybe find out, we look at the whole videos from the Clevelander, that beard that he had before,

that was blacker

than a means beard.

So someone needs to look into that situation.

Me, an embarrassment to our people.

You know, it's an embarrassment to our people.

This guy can't even say reggaeton.

That's an embarrassment to our people.

People are right about that.

You're crazy.

I, sir, am no embarrassment to our people.

I am our people.

Yeah, you are.

Yeah, people.

Your cardio is definitely taking a hit over the ears.

COVID.

COVID.

You still have the COVID lungs.

Congrats to Peepo.

I thought you were Vax.

Congrats to Peepo.

He is this week's nuttiest fan.

Get nutty with Hampton Farms, the official peanut of Bullseye.

I get money.

On stock options.

Keep an eye out for losing You get Iowa.

For if you think you are your team's nuttiest fan.

Now is a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began.

In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila.

Cuervo.

What are you doing here?

Cuervo.

Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

Well, I do know that to be true, but even during ad reads, like Cuervo.

I think you could lay out, especially for one of our great partners.

Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots.

The same family, the same land, the same passion.

Cuervo.

So, enjoy the tequila that started it all.

Cuervo.

Cuervo.

The tequila that invented tequila.

Proximoquervo.com.

Please drink responsibly.

Cuervo.