Hour 1: The House I Could Have Built If They Let Me (feat. Tony Calatayud)

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Speaker 14 This is the Don Levatar Show with the Stugats Podcast.

Speaker 14 No matter what is happening around the Miami Dolphins season, this show will still party around Dolphins football.

Speaker 14 We will create a fun and happy atmosphere at the gates of hell as the apocalypse engulfs the football team by getting an entire block and sectioning it off, wearing costumes, my kink, I can finally admit it,

Speaker 14 right around Halloween. We're going to do this watch party.
We don't do a lot of this. Greg Cody, are you coming? Are you coming to the Kendall watch party?

Speaker 14 Are you holding out? Is there an appearance fee involved?

Speaker 15 No, I would do it for free if I do end up going, but I am scheduled scheduled to be at that game, but my knee situation complicates it. That's right around the time of my surgery.

Speaker 15 I'm going to try to actually make that event if I can.

Speaker 16 It's a Miller Light Watch Party, October 30th. It's a week from this upcoming Thursday at the Flanagans in Kendall, Southwest, 88th Street, and Kendall Drive.
$1,500 costume contest.

Speaker 16 The whole crew will be out there. Come check it out.

Speaker 17 Southwest.

Speaker 14 We will section off a block, and it's going to be fun. We will make it fun.

Speaker 14 The thing that I just heard, and I wish we had this audio, and I wish we were secretly recording Tony because I can't believe it happened.

Speaker 14 He's at FIU Stadium, and he actually said into a hot mic, sort of muttering to himself, the house I could have built if they had let me. If they had just let me.

Speaker 14 Now, the only information we have on Tony's FIU career is he tried out as a walk-on one time. They didn't even give him a football.

Speaker 14 He was just throwing air passes, and then he went home, and they never gave him his real chance.

Speaker 14 But can you guys please explain to me who overheard that and why it is that he was muttering that into the microphone when he was off air?

Speaker 16 I heard it and it's just as tony as it can be. Least surprising thing I've ever heard

Speaker 19 at the time.

Speaker 14 It was Christobal.

Speaker 7 Wow. Wasn't Cristobal.

Speaker 6 Classic poor coaching decision.

Speaker 14 Was Christobal your coach when you walked on?

Speaker 21 No, Dan, it was not Mario Cristobal.

Speaker 22 So I would have walked on around 2013, 14.

Speaker 22 I think that's when they were in kind of flux. Christobal had just left and before Butch Davis, I want to say.
So it was kind of somewhere in between.

Speaker 9 Was it

Speaker 9 Long Krueger?

Speaker 14 Was it Isaiah Thomas?

Speaker 10 Might have been Long Krueger.

Speaker 10 No, it wasn't Isaiah Thomas.

Speaker 19 Ron Turner.

Speaker 10 I think I made him an NBA coach.

Speaker 14 Ron Turner.

Speaker 23 Coach at like Oklahoma.

Speaker 24 Yeah,

Speaker 22 Long Krueger, I don't think it was, but I think it was Ron Turner.

Speaker 25 But yeah, Dan, I did say it because I have to test the mic when I go to things.

Speaker 5 I get Ron and Lon confused all the time.

Speaker 19 I'm sorry, Tony.

Speaker 14 I missed that. I didn't understand why he was employing the Illinois basketball coach at FIU.
But this isn't.

Speaker 27 We hired an Illinois football coach.

Speaker 14 FIU basketball and football are a bit of a way station here for minor league football under the University of Miami.

Speaker 14 And Tony tried out without a football, with an air football, and he could have built that. Is that Pitbull Stadium?

Speaker 22 Dan, I am right now in the Pitbull Stadium, in the Bowels of the Pitbull Stadium, walking into

Speaker 22 one of the tunnels here.

Speaker 18 And if you can see right over my left shoulder right here, that's actually where I was when I was trying out.

Speaker 22 So about midfield, maybe the 45 yard line, they had a fake under center like this.

Speaker 22 And I was ready to call my plays and I was ready to call my stuff.

Speaker 12 Three step drop. Okay, boom.

Speaker 14 We're throwing.

Speaker 18 All right, give me a five-stepper. Okay.

Speaker 21 One, two, three, four, five. Bounce, bounce, throw.

Speaker 14 But Tony, do you know? Do you know why? Did they not have enough footballs? Like, how many guys were out there?

Speaker 14 And why wouldn't they just have brought out like a dozen footballs that everyone could have reused?

Speaker 7 Yeah, or at least a nerd.

Speaker 25 No, see, that's a great point, Dan. Yeah, no, that would have been a great point.

Speaker 22 They actually had tennis balls that they were using for the wide receivers and the DBs, which I could have thrown the tennis ball.

Speaker 22 But the information that I was given as to why they didn't have footballs for us to try out was because that would have actually taken away practice time and some sort of NCAA bylaws that if they would have brought out footballs for the walk-ons, they would have actually lost a day of practice with the real team, which I didn't feel...

Speaker 22 really great when they said that to me.

Speaker 10 I was like, well, we're trying to make the real team, aren't we?

Speaker 22 And he's like, yeah, but you know. And then I was like,

Speaker 10 he's like, all right, my Steph Dark. I was like, all right.

Speaker 16 Tony's top five is presented by Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the National Football League. Smirnoff, please drink responsibly.

Speaker 16 The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York, vodka, 40% alcohol by volume.

Speaker 14 I like the idea of Tony arguing with the coach why he can't have a real ball.

Speaker 22 It was a quick argument because he's like, yeah, the real team.

Speaker 10 And then I was like, okay.

Speaker 22 And then he said five-step drop. And then I just went back like a robot and started doing five-step drops.

Speaker 14 Quick question. Had they used not a real football, like maybe a nerf football or maybe one of like that Nickelodeon ball we have behind us here.
Does that count as practice or no?

Speaker 22 No, I think it's got to be pig skin, right? I think if it's pig skin, then they can, then they can get docked.

Speaker 22 But if it was foam, if it was maybe some sort of animal skin that wasn't pig, maybe we could have used it.

Speaker 18 But again,

Speaker 22 that's 10 years in the past, Dan.

Speaker 21 It could have been the house that I built.

Speaker 14 Tony says he's loaded today. Top five, too many OLIs.
Let's get through this.

Speaker 14 Let's start with the first OLI, Tony's top five observations from the NFL weekend.

Speaker 22 We'll bang out through the OLI really quick. Michael McCorkle Jones keeps getting it done, Dano.

Speaker 22 Thank you. I was waiting for that.

Speaker 2 Appreciate it.

Speaker 7 That's my second OLI of Raves Revenge game.

Speaker 25 Yeah, Michael McCorkle Jones.

Speaker 29 McCorkle.

Speaker 12 Michael McCorkle.

Speaker 21 I'm going to ask this one to the class.

Speaker 18 Ask Trey McBride who he'd rather have at QB.

Speaker 22 Did you guys see the stats with him and Kyler Murray versus him and and Jacoby Brissette? Do you guys know that stat or no?

Speaker 14 Brissette targets him so much

Speaker 22 and throws touchdowns to him. Imagine that.
You have a really good tight end. Kyler Murray's like, you know what? I'd rather not throw touchdowns to him.
I'd rather throw touchdowns to Michael Wilson.

Speaker 18 But Jacoby Brissette's like, man, this guy's really good.

Speaker 3 Let me throw him the ball in the end zone, which is usually a good thing when you have a guy who's 6'5 and runs a 4'6.

Speaker 26 But alas.

Speaker 18 All right, second last OLI, Jags.

Speaker 22 Just when I think I'm in, they push me back out of me.

Speaker 14 They're not serious people.

Speaker 22 Dan,

Speaker 22 do you want to say the text that you told me on, you texted me privately when that game started?

Speaker 9 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 14 I just said

Speaker 14 I have just bet the Jags, and I know I'm going to regret it. Like, I know the game had not started.

Speaker 23 I'm still simultaneously down 21 people.

Speaker 14 Yeah, it's a lot. No, because I believe in them athletically, but they're not serious people.

Speaker 21 What do you mean by that? Insane, Dan. Insane.

Speaker 14 No, I'll tell you. Thank you for asking the question.
I'll tell you what I mean by that. What I mean by that is the Jags,

Speaker 14 every good play that they had in yesterday's game was undone by a penalty. So they had,

Speaker 14 at one point, the announcer said, and the 11th and 12th penalty of this game, wipe out a third and seven sacks for the Jags. Again, the Rams are playing three tight ends and one wide receiver.

Speaker 14 Three tight ends and one wide receiver. When I'm telling you that Stafford and Devontae Adams beat the Jags by themselves by just standing there and watching them implode, they're not serious people.

Speaker 19 Like,

Speaker 14 Matthew Stafford is doing no look passes in the Super Bowl because he knows exactly where to throw the ball. It's really three inches.
Brian Thomas, you hit him and hit him with a face mask.

Speaker 14 Trevor Lawrence cannot be trusted to do anything but buck

Speaker 20 and Bronco like a Clydesdale.

Speaker 14 They're fools. There I said it.
They're fools. They exhibit the behaviors of a fool.

Speaker 15 Yes, they're not fools.

Speaker 5 Just act like fools.

Speaker 22 I don't know. You haven't been watching the Jags that closely, Ben.

Speaker 18 All right, last OLI. Oh, shit.

Speaker 22 Here come the Chiefs.

Speaker 29 Dan, I think we were wrong.

Speaker 10 Woo!

Speaker 14 So wrong.

Speaker 9 Wow.

Speaker 22 So Rashi Reichs makes a big difference.

Speaker 30 Pretty good.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 17 He's good.

Speaker 10 Pretty good.

Speaker 14 Yeah, and that precision thing where you can throw it to one guy seven times, and every time it's going to be open. Yeah, it makes everybody a little bit better.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Yeah. All right, we'll get into the top five now.

Speaker 14 Except Baker. Number five.
Baker doesn't need anybody. Baker doesn't need precision with anybody.

Speaker 22 Get somebody off the couch. You'll catch a touchdown with Baker.

Speaker 22 Only if we could teach that to Trevor Lawrence, who is still, again, throwing touchdowns to nobody, but throwing the ball to Parker Washington of all people.

Speaker 18 Anyways, we'll get off to number five here. The Eagles are going to be all right.

Speaker 22 The Eagles are going to be all right, Dan. Remember, I said that.

Speaker 14 Jalen Hurts had the best

Speaker 21 team on both sides.

Speaker 14 Jalen Hurts had the best game non-Drake May division that was had by any quarterback in the league yesterday. And is it not funny to you guys the way these guys now treat fourth downs?

Speaker 14 God almighty, they've gone in the other direction.

Speaker 14 Now these guys are throwing deep on fourth and one all over the place because it's a calculated advantage because everybody's selling out to stop the yard.

Speaker 14 It's crazy.

Speaker 22 Dan, I will say this, though. Brian Flores, for as much flack as we gave him here in Miami, has figured out the tush push.

Speaker 12 I don't know if you guys have talked about it.

Speaker 18 He has.

Speaker 22 I was getting here to the field.

Speaker 12 Okay, you line up a guy just on the floor, just in front of the line of scrimmage.

Speaker 22 Don't let him be on a three-point stance or a five-point stance. Just lay him down horizontally on the floor so the guys can't get underneath him.

Speaker 18 It's probably the greatest way to stop the tush push.

Speaker 22 I wonder if people are going to use that going forward against Philly or not.

Speaker 14 I think the next movie, you stack defensive tackles on top of each other.

Speaker 33 Lying on top of each other.

Speaker 30 Wow.

Speaker 10 Just like

Speaker 34 you have four guys.

Speaker 20 It's so funny. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 10 You build a wall.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 22 Shout out to Stan Van Gundy.

Speaker 7 You're screwed if they do play action, but

Speaker 17 they go wide.

Speaker 12 We're trying to stop the tush push, guys.

Speaker 21 Come on. What are we doing?

Speaker 20 They throw a fade to AJ Brown against the corner who's six inches shorter.

Speaker 17 Number four.

Speaker 22 The Cowboys aren't dead yet.

Speaker 35 Keep an an eye on them.

Speaker 29 I know their defense isn't great.

Speaker 10 Keep an eye on the Cowboys. Keep an eye on them, Dano.

Speaker 14 Tony, their defense is so good. Keep an eye on them.

Speaker 12 What happened to Trayvon Diggs where he got hurt at his house and is in concussion photo?

Speaker 10 Concussion.

Speaker 14 An accident in his home.

Speaker 5 When Dex Prescott is healthy, that team is always a 12-win team. Now, they may not make it to 12-wins, but when he is healthy, they win.
We got to get used to that.

Speaker 24 Bingo.

Speaker 37 Bingo.

Speaker 22 Number three.

Speaker 22 through three quarters, I was getting ready to vehemently defend the top five intriguing teams list I did earlier this season where Dan laughed at my Giants selection and called it garbage.

Speaker 7 Then in the fourth quarter Denver scored 33 points and I realized I still won the take because

Speaker 22 I'm a pro Bo Nicks guy.

Speaker 21 Not being take a cannibal Dan, that's the best part of my job.

Speaker 22 Bo Nicks, 33 points, two rushing touchdowns, two passing touchdowns in the fourth quarter that that Jackson dart interception was an absolute backbreaker.

Speaker 22 And then the Giants kicker missed the extra point.

Speaker 21 I could have kicked the extra point with a bad leg and made it maybe.

Speaker 26 No, no.

Speaker 10 No. How's that lawsuit going, by the way?

Speaker 18 I would have pushed it wide right.

Speaker 12 I'm actually in talks with your wife to see what's going on here.

Speaker 22 Good. To figure out how I can sue the company.

Speaker 26 You need your support?

Speaker 21 I might make a good appearance over there.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 10 A lot of...

Speaker 22 People won't touch this case, Daniel, because of your name around the city.

Speaker 22 But I finally found an attorney who I think knows you enough to make something happen so i'm very excited about that i need your support exactly right

Speaker 11 number two

Speaker 22 gonna continue to beat the drum on this but the colts are the most complete team in football

Speaker 14 So that's an interesting thing that happened, huh? Like, it can't even be denied right now.

Speaker 14 In terms of efficiencies marching down the field, they'll put 38 on anybody in a way that's a bit different than the way Kansas City does it, right?

Speaker 14 Because they've got the great, they're still using the great running back. Nobody needs one of those anymore, but they've got one that's better than all the rest.

Speaker 18 And Tyler Warren, who's a really good rookie tight end.

Speaker 22 Michael Pittman, the ghost of Michael Pittman, all of a sudden catching balls all over the field.

Speaker 2 They've got 19 guys that can just go out and get a 55-yard bomb.

Speaker 22 The Colts are exciting, and defense, Luanna Rumo's got the defense playing really well, Dano.

Speaker 5 They are the most efficient offense this century when it comes to points per draw.

Speaker 7 I saw that.

Speaker 14 No, but beyond that, I remind you that a couple of weeks ago, Zaslow over here was telling us Harbo's the greatest coach there's ever been because the Chargers had two good games of defense.

Speaker 14 All right. No, but the Colts can do that against anybody.

Speaker 10 He was right back then.

Speaker 14 I was talking about what they were at that moment. Can't be late with an opinion, Dan.

Speaker 16 Have we had a younger ghost of than Michael Pittman?

Speaker 9 Why was he a ghost?

Speaker 23 Because he hurt his ankle?

Speaker 22 I mean, for years, like, I didn't do anything.

Speaker 26 No, he hurt his back, hurt his ankle.

Speaker 28 He was all over the place getting hurt in the injured reserve and whatnot.

Speaker 22 And then all of a sudden, he's just catching passes from everywhere from Danny Dimes.

Speaker 1 Crazy.

Speaker 15 Jalen hurt.

Speaker 24 Good one, Greg.

Speaker 30 Thank you.

Speaker 21 All right, Dano.

Speaker 22 Number one, we can only save this for the hometown team. Dano, I'm going to give you a couple of letters, and I want you to see what they stand for, okay? You ready? Yep.

Speaker 22 All right, one of the M's in Mike McDaniel stands for.

Speaker 14 Oh, are you going to insult him?

Speaker 26 Moron?

Speaker 7 Miserable. Muerto.

Speaker 9 Oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 10 He's a muerto.

Speaker 14 I didn't realize you were doing it. You are.

Speaker 10 Okay.

Speaker 10 We are playing Spanish. Okay, umuerto.
Mueto.

Speaker 14 Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 28 Do you know what the C in Chris Greer stands for, Dan?

Speaker 14 Come mienda.

Speaker 14 Yeah!

Speaker 17 All right, Dano.

Speaker 30 I thought it was gonna be cool.

Speaker 14 Chris Greer stands for comemienda.

Speaker 10 Ooh, that's another one. All right, but you forgot to.

Speaker 14 I don't want to call these people.

Speaker 10 It's calling Chris Greer a shit eater.

Speaker 10 I didn't say it, you did.

Speaker 7 Eater of shit.

Speaker 10 You trapped me.

Speaker 14 He exhibits the behaviors of someone who eats shit.

Speaker 5 Yes, that's correct.

Speaker 22 Sticking with

Speaker 18 the shit sandwich here.

Speaker 22 The M in Miami Dolphins stands for?

Speaker 14 Miedda.

Speaker 10 Mahong.

Speaker 14 Ah, Mahong, another, a synonym for Miada. Just a singular piece.

Speaker 10 Yes, one turd. Just a singular piece of pump shit.

Speaker 14 It's not even a pile of it. It's just a single turd.
That's right. A Mahon.

Speaker 25 Just one single turn.

Speaker 14 Set apart from the others. One lonely turd.

Speaker 10 Patrick Mahon.

Speaker 24 That was a good one.

Speaker 27 He's breaks on his game today.

Speaker 11 Unleashed.

Speaker 2 Dan, what does the T in Tua stand for?

Speaker 14 Oh, for the love of God, Tony.

Speaker 14 Tremendami.

Speaker 17 Tremendami.

Speaker 39 Tremendamieta, Dan.

Speaker 10 A tremendous turd. That's right.
A collection of tremendous turns.

Speaker 14 A collection of tremendous turds is correct exhibits the behavior of a collection of tremendous turds all right these are all important distinctions you're doing important work tony thank you for your help he is making the distinction i've got one last one okay i thought that was number one another i've got one last one no no no that's a continuation last one we'll save it for the boss one of the e's in stephen raw stands for what dan

Speaker 14 no say

Speaker 28 you got to think about this one got to think about this one think about what he's doing where he sees his team right now one of the E's in Stephen Ross stands for. You ready?

Speaker 27 Yep. He's in Cohonao, Dan.

Speaker 34 He's in Cohonao. That's what he is.
That is right.

Speaker 22 He's in Cohonao with the team.

Speaker 14 That's right. He has lost.

Speaker 29 Encohonau with the team, Dan.

Speaker 14 It's he. So, how do I translate in cojonal?

Speaker 9 It's without.

Speaker 34 He's so upset. He's so upset that he's without balls.

Speaker 10 Yeah, his balls fell off from how upset he is.

Speaker 24 De Pinga.

Speaker 14 Man, China?

Speaker 26 No. Well,

Speaker 30 okay.

Speaker 14 I didn't think we could descend further than turds, but thank you, Tony, for taking us.

Speaker 9 I liked that one.

Speaker 14 Thank you. Appreciate it.
Thank you.

Speaker 14 The awkwardness.

Speaker 29 Lipiakasa, Dan.

Speaker 12 We got to get rid of these cucarachas in the house.

Speaker 18 It's over. Clean house for the wolf and the entire thing.

Speaker 14 That's right. I don't know why, Greg.
I don't know why your son just shouted, Sing Binga into the sky, trying to get in on the merriment and the fun.

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Speaker 5 Howdy, listeners. It's Mike Ryan and Chris Cody.

Speaker 9 Hey, everyone. Hey, Chris.

Speaker 5 We love hanging out so much. You were at my birthday the other day.
You're old. You know what I saw in your hand?

Speaker 21 What?

Speaker 26 A can of Miller Light.

Speaker 9 Oh, whether it's a can, whether it's a bottle, a draft, a pour of Miller Light.

Speaker 5 Oh, the draft board. You see that beautiful, iconic color.
Oh, the cold.

Speaker 26 Right away.

Speaker 4 The ice coldness to it. Oh, it's so good.

Speaker 5 Yes, Chris. The ice coldness to it.
Oh, whether you're hanging out with me on my birthday because I'm old or you're at a game, you know that Miller Light just makes every special time a Miller time.

Speaker 5 That's how you make the special times by making them Miller times. Game day just hits different with Miller Light in your hand.

Speaker 10 Hitting different.

Speaker 5 From jaw-dropping touchdowns to fantasy heartbreaks, it's a beer that has been there for every moment.

Speaker 21 50 years of great taste, simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color. That coldness, Chris.
That icy coldness.

Speaker 5 That icy coldness. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later.
Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Speaker 5 Go to MillerLite.com slash stand to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time.

Speaker 5 Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. I see coldness.

Speaker 35 Thursday Night Football's on and it's only on prime video this week.

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Speaker 35 Eastern with football's best party, TNF Tonight. Not a Prime member, not a problem.

Speaker 4 Simply sign up for a 30-day free trial.

Speaker 2 It's the Vikings and the Chargers Thursday at 7 p.m.

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Speaker 4 Restrictions apply.

Speaker 35 See amazon.com/slash Amazon Prime for details.

Speaker 31 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 15 I want to address Tony and all men who would wear that shirt in public. Stugats.
Don't do it.

Speaker 13 This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Speaker 14 I did want to talk for a second because I've rambled.

Speaker 16 Being told Tony has one more thing.

Speaker 22 Really quick, really quick. Dan, tomorrow behind me, Vice City situation at FIU Stadium.
The FIU Panthers pause up are playing Kennesaw State right here at 7 p.m. at Pitbull Field.

Speaker 22 They may invite me to

Speaker 22 be on the field here. I don't know.
That's what I've been heard from my boy Darren, who's letting me know, give me a thumbs up. I don't know.

Speaker 14 Okay, so thank you. I'm glad we went back.

Speaker 10 Honorary captain.

Speaker 10 Okay, so yes, honorary captain, by the way.

Speaker 38 Seems like it was probably contingent on him getting that last line out there.

Speaker 24 That's what access at Pitbull Stadium costs us.

Speaker 14 What gives you that suspicion, Mike, was that

Speaker 20 how smoothly he threw it just in the middle of the day?

Speaker 30 One more thing.

Speaker 10 At the end of the day, what does the FNFIU stand?

Speaker 24 One more thing,

Speaker 14 after I've given you in Cohonado as the last one more thing, I forgot the more important one more thing, which is why I got access to this stadium that I could have built if my air passes a million years ago hadn't violated NCAA practice rule.

Speaker 23 The I and FIU stands for, I gotta get this one in, boys.

Speaker 18 Worry with those practice throws, Tony.

Speaker 6 I don't want you to get hurt out there.

Speaker 29 By the way, really quick, there's one more thing.

Speaker 21 There's one more thing. Really quick.

Speaker 29 I promise you. I promise.

Speaker 18 It's really quick. Look what I discovered back here.
Danny, switch over the camera really quick.

Speaker 18 This goes back to last week we were talking about this.

Speaker 7 Here we go. Hold on, hold on.

Speaker 18 Can you guys tell me what that looks like right there?

Speaker 13 That seems to be a goalpost, right?

Speaker 11 That looks to be a goalpost right here.

Speaker 3 And where the kid was on

Speaker 10 Apple come in. That was such a still shit.

Speaker 14 So, wait, so heavy. Oh, wow.

Speaker 10 Look at that.

Speaker 14 Okay, so it's not that heavy.

Speaker 17 That's a 000 pound look at that

Speaker 14 look at that weight distribution you wish i learned look at that tony kaladiud finds out tony kaladiud finds out a new podcast where we're going to pick them both up he exposes that looks like a dollar store field post feel goal post thank you for doing this tony good work asinine conversation last week Good work, Tony.

Speaker 14 We appreciate the help. I don't think

Speaker 16 could the bigger schools have bigger ones?

Speaker 10 Heavier, heavy ones.

Speaker 14 FCS goal posts.

Speaker 20 Is that that what you're saying? What are we doing here?

Speaker 14 How do you imagine the tryouts are for the bigger school where the kid goes out who throws air passes there?

Speaker 14 Like, do you realize how far from the very fringes of football Tony was throwing walk-on air passes in a stadium where he couldn't even get footballs?

Speaker 14 The big schools do air passes, but you wear full pads, everything, full contact.

Speaker 27 He could have built that house, though.

Speaker 14 So, I want to talk to you, though, guys, about the,

Speaker 14 I've rambled a bit on the subject, but the precision of football, right?

Speaker 14 Because I do get fascinated fascinated by the idea that Devontae Adams, who I didn't think was a number one wide receiver, has dedicated his life over the last 15 years to, I will run exactly 14.3 yards on this route.

Speaker 14 I'm going to practice it and I'm going to keep practicing. It's not going to be 15.3 yards.
It's not going to be 13.3 yards.

Speaker 38 On Devontae Adams, you were right at the time.

Speaker 14 That's what I'm saying. Can't be late with an opinion, Dan.

Speaker 10 He was bad.

Speaker 14 He had a lot of drops his first season, but the idea that athletes of this caliber would dedicate themselves to staying atop money by being as precise as the Rams demand you must.

Speaker 14 McVay's ahead of the game, got to stay ahead of the game. Tua can get stripped down to nothing that fast.
McDaniel too. He was first to, I'm the next Belichick.
I can have any broadcasting job.

Speaker 14 I'm smarter than everyone else. I'll do it if I've got Whitworth.
I'll do it if I've got Gurley. I'll do it if I've got Goff.
I'll do it if I've got Stafford.

Speaker 14 I'll do it if I have no wide receivers yesterday. And I'm going to London and playing at 6 a.m.
for my fans.

Speaker 14 And I'm going to drag Jacksonville that has all the number one picks in their offense because I'm a better organization, because I'm the Rams, and I will be feared by everyone in the playoffs.

Speaker 14 Because the military school we run on numbers and precision,

Speaker 14 just get Puka's hands open. It doesn't have to be the rest of him, just where his hands are.

Speaker 14 You can't be sloppy against that.

Speaker 14 You can't, when Brian Flores is working his way back into the league because a discrimination lawsuit is laughed at as everything he told you about the organization comes unraveling, unraveling.

Speaker 14 And he's devising, how do I stop that play that Jason Kelsey is arguing for as that team wins 20 of 21

Speaker 14 because there's a play that can't be stopped. No, Flores, let me see if I can figure out how to stop it.
These are military schools.

Speaker 14 They're giant economies that are studying all day and night to how do we beat the Eagles. And you fall behind like that.
The precision of the Rams is a tribute to excellence.

Speaker 14 And Stafford, I will add, because Stafford survived everything that the Lions were organizationally got out. And I'm telling you, if he plays them in the playoffs, he's going to beat them.

Speaker 14 And I'm telling you that if he played for that team right now, he's the one who could go get Mahomes because they figured out at the top of the game that if you're healthy and precise, Drew Brees was trying to beat them.

Speaker 14 They've got a precision that is so crazy that Jacksonville with Travis Hunter out there, they're just slinging it. So Devontae Adams has never had that kind of game and Stafford hasn't either.

Speaker 14 And they've got no wide receivers. Remember before the season started, we weren't sure.
Like, it felt like Stafford wasn't going to play this year. That wasn't that long ago.

Speaker 15 He's the fourth best quarterback in the league, right? After Alan Mahomes and a healthy.

Speaker 14 I want to talk, though.

Speaker 14 I want to get back to talking about the idea, though, of when we're doing this stuff that we're watching happen with Belichick, where you see how quickly someone can get stripped of genius.

Speaker 14 The quarter, McVay cut bait on golf so fast. Nobody cuts bait that quickly on, like, nope, let's go get Stafford.
We were just a Super Bowl team. People hold on to their jobs.
They're afraid.

Speaker 14 But if you're in your early 30s and you're actually smarter than everyone else, you're not pretending all the time and you get the right quarterback with which all you have to do is, yep, Matt, I'll support you everywhere.

Speaker 14 Just keep being that precise, please. Meet me at precision.
Keep throwing the ball there and there and there every time. No look passes.
Mahomes did that yesterday.

Speaker 14 You saw Mahomes did the no look pass because he's feeling comfortable again.

Speaker 14 And Rice is pointing to him like this. The miles that these men run in feet that get deon sanders amputated toes like in precision of no we'll do it 14.3 yards 14.3 yards

Speaker 14 it's all right dan that's a little too much i've broken deon sanders's toes and if you say they just need booka's hands open for fourth time this show we're stopping you penalty box i probably deserve it i just can't believe that there's a machine that's more precise than all the others in that game like it it you we marvel and value all this stuff.

Speaker 14 And then Baker Mayfield gets out there, and we can't explain how it is that

Speaker 14 he got to 35 points when none of his receivers are there. Compare it to what we just happened in Miami, which was a Ferrari with a spark plug that went wrong.

Speaker 14 Like, a fragile thing that if a leg breaks, you're done.

Speaker 14 You're finished.

Speaker 27 Historically so.

Speaker 15 Yeah, but accuracy was supposed to be to his strength, and it is.

Speaker 15 Going into yesterday, he had the best red zone passer rating in the league.

Speaker 15 His completion percentage was like second best in the league. So, accuracy, you mentioned precision.
Accuracy is supposed to be his forte. So, theoretically, Mike McDaniels agrees with McVay.

Speaker 15 He just can't pull it off like McVay does.

Speaker 14 Yeah, but it's not just the accuracy with two of these days anymore. Like,

Speaker 14 and I know Xavian Howard said this after week number one, but it really does appear if the first option in the first second of the ball being snapped is not there, it is panic time. I agree with that.

Speaker 15 I agree with that. And plus, his lack of a running option is just extreme to the point where he's one-dimensional in a way that hardly any other quarterbacks are.

Speaker 14 Doesn't even make sense to me when you're talking about that. Was number one in the league in passing.

Speaker 14 Like the second option and third option were there because he was getting rid of the ball faster than everyone else was, faster than Tom Brady ever did.

Speaker 14 Before we go any further, I've got a couple of things that I'm remiss on. One, I have failed today, that it is a couple of hours into the show, and I've not mentioned

Speaker 14 that in a baseball game, unlike anyone I have ever witnessed, and whoever it is that saw Babe Ruth play, does not have the story to tell that we do if we're not numb to these things.

Speaker 14 The idea that Shohei Otani hit three home runs in a playoff game to clinch a World Series berth, one of them out of the stadium, and also struck out 10 men throwing a ball 100 miles an hour, makes him an extraterrestrial that has never existed on Earth before.

Speaker 14 And that game is the single best playoff game a player has ever played, Babe Ruth included. Like there is no, there, there's no getting around.

Speaker 14 We saw that by leaps and bounds, the most amazing athletic feat of the weekend was Shohei Otani, and there is no close second place.

Speaker 6 There will never be a close second. Only 12 hitters ever had hit three homers in a postseason game.

Speaker 6 Only 26 pitchers ever had recorded 10 strikeouts in two hits or less and no runs in a postseason start.

Speaker 14 He did both.

Speaker 16 That's projustic. I mean, he's the only pitcher they're letting hit nowadays, though.
So how's anyone else wants to do it?

Speaker 14 It is superhero athleticism. It is stuff you will tell people about 100 years from now, and they will not believe it existed.

Speaker 7 Timeout.

Speaker 20 Chris, what did you just say?

Speaker 14 What in the world?

Speaker 16 What other pitchers are hitting in today's baseball?

Speaker 14 That's why. Because they're not allowed to.

Speaker 19 Oh,

Speaker 14 if Max Schurz is like, if you put me at plate, man, I'll take one yard.

Speaker 12 That's what you're saying?

Speaker 16 I'm just saying, one pitcher is currently hitting these days.

Speaker 6 They should let more pitchers hit.

Speaker 16 hear the numbers i just said you're not wrong

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Speaker 31 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 14 You don't remember the idea for that?

Speaker 10 I was probably like, that kind of thing. Something.

Speaker 15 Okay, no. The home run call was that kind of swing, that kind of thing.

Speaker 31 Stugats.

Speaker 16 Oh, it's a good call. Thank you.

Speaker 15 And plus, it doesn't matter who's hitting it. Like, you're not tailoring it to a particular name.
You know, all that jazz. You know, you don't got to do that.

Speaker 10 You just got to do that.

Speaker 9 Oh, that would be a great call.

Speaker 10 Oh, that's kind of a call. That kind of swing, that kind of thing.

Speaker 13 This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Speaker 15 I mean, I'm not saying any other pitcher would be Otani, but

Speaker 15 half of the Major League pitchers hit 488 in high school, right?

Speaker 23 Keep talking.

Speaker 15 Like pitchers in high school were probably the best hitter on their team as well. Who's the pitcher?

Speaker 19 Hey, Jeremy, what'd you hit?

Speaker 16 Who's the pitcher that's being held back right now? Who could be hitting?

Speaker 14 Okay, you guys need to stop doing this because you're really minimizing the level of expertise that it's taking present day to hit a baseball. Like, pitchers can no longer do that.

Speaker 15 No, Otani is a unicorn. And look, by some metrics, he's having a bad postseason in that he's hitting like 208 or something, but he's got five home runs and two pitching victories.

Speaker 15 There's been nobody like that.

Speaker 16 There's got to be a pitcher right now. That's like, let me get some A-Bs, coach.

Speaker 36 That could help.

Speaker 6 12 hitters ever. with three homers in a postseason game.
12 hitters that were just hitters have ever hit three home runs in a postseason game.

Speaker 14 One of them went out of the stadium. I have not seen that there before.
I have looked for it.

Speaker 14 I don't, maybe that happens all the time now, that he plays there.

Speaker 6 No, they put a marker out in right field for Kyle Schwarber's homer in an earlier round this postseason because nobody hits the ball that far.

Speaker 6 And he hit it like 30 feet further as he struck out 10 guys in a game.

Speaker 14 It is absurd beyond absurd and that you guys would make it a conversation of I want to see Chris Hammond hit more.

Speaker 7 What a pull.

Speaker 16 I swear I was going to say Mike Hampton. He won bad.

Speaker 10 I also had Chris Hammond in my whole

Speaker 10 Mike Hampton right now

Speaker 16 saying, hey, give me 600 bats.

Speaker 24 Damn right.

Speaker 10 He could hit. I can't believe you just pulled Chris Hammond.
You're looking at my brain. Yeah, pinch hitter in the World Series.
Oh

Speaker 16 you don't think there's any pitchers. I know I'm obviously,

Speaker 16 oh, Tani's great.

Speaker 20 There's got to be some pitchers out there like, coach, let me get an A B.

Speaker 14 But this is the part. This is the only part.
I understand.

Speaker 14 This is the part that frustrates me. I would say, just in general, wherever it is, that language barrier and baseball and foreignness makes someone not the star they should be.

Speaker 14 Because in the sport of Mike Trout, somebody who hits and pitches what he just did is so Ruthian, so super heroic.

Speaker 14 The people who appreciate baseball understand that no other human being who has ever lived has that collection of talents in his body. It's the kind of game he just had.

Speaker 14 If we sent a major leaguer to play against sixth graders, where he'll hit three home runs and one of them will be further than any of the sixth graders have ever seen.

Speaker 14 He's playing against all other major leaguers. They can't hit him at 100 miles an hour and he hits the ball further than I've ever seen it hit.

Speaker 14 And he only started pitching again in the middle of this season. Yeah.

Speaker 14 He had not pitched in over a year. Dan, I kind of need CSI baseball to take a look at the Anaheim Angels or Los Angeles Angels or California Angels or whatever angels they were.

Speaker 14 Like you guys had Trout and Shohei at the same time and you were horseshit

Speaker 14 and pools. How did that happen? How is that possible? And Rendone, they paid $250 million for him too, and then they had no pitching is how it happened.

Speaker 6 I think you could put every major league pitcher in a high school game right now.

Speaker 6 against one of

Speaker 6 the better high school pitchers, and and not one of them would have the game Shohei Otani just did in the MLB post.

Speaker 14 It's lunis. It's total.

Speaker 14 What that man just did, like what I was beginning to say is, I wish the American media knew how to cover this person in a way that would grant him the stardom, that would make him a bigger thing beyond over the land.

Speaker 14 This is no problem in Japan, obviously, right? They recognize the history of the game. Hell, the game grew as the

Speaker 14 cultures shared it. And what has been birthed is the single greatest baseball player that has ever existed, someone who would make Babe Ruth pale in his shadow.

Speaker 14 And the playoff game he just had is something they will talk about 100 years from now. How much is he making this year? $2 million.

Speaker 36 That is hilarious. Eagle value.

Speaker 15 That's crazy. But there is one measure by which Babe Ruth continues to be the most talented player ever, and let me give it to you.
And you think I'm setting this up for a joke. I'm not.

Speaker 15 This is the truth. Early in the 20th century, baseball players used to work during the offseason to make extra income.
Babe Ruth

Speaker 15 worked during the offseason singing on a vaudeville stage. So I want to see Otani do that.

Speaker 14 Okay? What's got you there, Dan?

Speaker 24 Gotcha.

Speaker 14 Can we look that up, see if it's factual?

Speaker 14 How much Babe Ruth earned singing in a vaudeville show in the offseason to make extra companies?

Speaker 15 A lot of players did it because they were trading on their name. They were celebrities, so people would go to the vaudeville.

Speaker 14 They would be shows. They'd be shows.
And there's the great Babe Ruth

Speaker 14 before television, cable, or the internet. That's good.
Influencers of their day.

Speaker 14 It's kind of like how every athlete has a podcast now, the 1920s.

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Yes, Babe Ruth did sing in vaudeville during tours in the 1920s. He performed a variety of yaks that included singing, telling jokes, and even trying his hand at mind-reading.

Speaker 14 These performances were part of his postseason tours and were popular attractions due to his celebrity status.

Speaker 39 Booyah!

Speaker 14 Being Babe Ruth, Booyah, was not allowed back then. Yeah, that would have had you sat in a different section.

Speaker 24 Booyah.

Speaker 14 I don't know why you would then do it. I don't even know what that means.

Speaker 9 I got a thing.

Speaker 13 Do it again.

Speaker 15 That's a three facts, Jack, from the Greg Cody Show, by the way. That fact on Babe Ruth, I'm there for you.
People, I'm there for you.

Speaker 14 The other thing that I'm remorseful about today is that I have not gotten to Zaslow's travel story

Speaker 14 that Mike Ryan embargoed from me earlier the show. What are you saying? Oh, yeah, about this.

Speaker 17 I want to hear it.

Speaker 14 You don't know anything about it. Two people know about this story, and Mike Ryan embargoed the story.
I've never had such trouble getting a story. I wanted it.

Speaker 14 Neither one of them would give it to me. What happened? All right, Dan.
Well, you know how I travel with ESPN, college football campus, or this weekend I was in South Bend, all right?

Speaker 14 Notre Dame, USC, fun game. You know how they treat me with the travel? They treat me very well.
Matter of fact, sometimes first class available, like when I flew home yesterday, I sat first class.

Speaker 14 They treat me very well, ESPN, on my travel but I book my travel okay I book it through a system it's on me obviously they pay for it I have a certain status blah blah blah so I'm flying to South Bend on Friday morning but I have to stop through Chicago through O'Hare Airport okay fine I've done that

Speaker 14 okay I've done I you can't fly straight to South Bend South Bend is tough from Miami they have one terminal there's like six gates it's really small it's gonna take a couple do they still call it international airport which is my biggest they do because they apparently have one flight that fly it probably flies the Caribbean, so they get to call themselves an international airport.

Speaker 14 Anyway, it's a ridiculous place to put a football stadium. I'm flying to South Bend through Chicago, and when I get to Chicago, a very short layover, I'm walking over to my gate.
Okay, no big deal.

Speaker 14 I get to the gate, I sit down, I see on the board there it says South Bend, and it says the time of the next flight is two hours and 45 minutes. And I'm confused as hell.
I'm trying, two hours and 45.

Speaker 14 That's how long it took me to get here from Miami. Two hours.
I take out my phone. I open up a map of the United States on my phone.
Illinois and Indiana are right next to each other.

Speaker 14 How can it be two hours and 45 minutes? I send Amber Wilson a text message. Amber, I'm sitting here at my gate.
It says two hours and 45 minutes.

Speaker 24 Is that possible?

Speaker 14 She says, are you sure you're flying to South Bend? I go, I think so. She goes, it's not possible.

Speaker 24 I go, right?

Speaker 14 I'm really confused.

Speaker 14 It gets to the point where they're calling the boarding groups. Group one, group two, group three.
American Airlines, I'm flying. They get to my group.
I'm one of the first people to board.

Speaker 14 I get, you know, got good status, Greg. I get up.
I show my boarding pass on the American Airlines app. They scan it.
You're good to go, sir. So I'm walking.

Speaker 14 And it's one of those deals where you got to go outside, you know, because it's a really small airplane.

Speaker 10 You know, I see it.

Speaker 14 I saw the seating map. It's, you know, two seats on one side, one seat on the right.

Speaker 14 I'm in one of the ones yeah get my got a lot of room all right small plane i'm i i'm walking through the terminal gate now i take the steps downstairs

Speaker 14 there's a bus waiting for me

Speaker 14 no it's a bus is it taking you to the plane the bus on the side of the air of the bus the the on the side of the bus it says american airlines i'm like okay cool shuttle bus taking me to my plane like a minute no big deal i get on the bus I sit in the first seat.

Speaker 14 It's going to be a quick flight, quick, quick ride, 30 seconds. I sit in the first seat.
I don't even take my backpack off. I sit in the first seat immediately behind the driver.

Speaker 14 People are starting to get on. They're looking at their phones.
They're sitting in assigned seats.

Speaker 14 Why the fuck are you sitting in an assigned seat on this bus right now?

Speaker 14 And all of a sudden, this woman is standing next to me. She's confused.
I'm apparently in her seat. I'm looking around at all these people.

Speaker 16 She got that good bus seat.

Speaker 14 I say to the bus driver, are we taking this bus to South Bend?

Speaker 14 She goes, yes.

Speaker 29 I go.

Speaker 7 Now it makes sense.

Speaker 14 Okay, I'm in the wrong seat. And I get up and I go, you know, I'm in 4C.
I get up and I sit down.

Speaker 14 I'm so confused. And then, and then moments later, the bus driver.
She, by the way, if you're wondering if there's going to be, you know, drink and snack service, there's not.

Speaker 14 But the bus driver, she gets on the PA.

Speaker 14 She gets on the PA and she says, just so everybody knows, this bus is heading to South Bend. Some people might be confused.

Speaker 14 I'm sitting on this bus. I can't believe it.
You thought it was two airplanes, two little airplanes.

Speaker 14 Two hours and 45 minutes. You had no idea the second leg of this first-class flight was a bus.
Put it on the poll at Lebatard Show. Can the second leg of your first-class flight ever be a bus?

Speaker 14 This woman then gets on. We haven't gotten out.
We haven't gotten off the, you know, we haven't pulled out yet to leave. She goes, we're waiting for the go-ahead to pull out from the air tower.

Speaker 24 I'm like, woman, air tower? We're on a bus.

Speaker 24 Air tower.

Speaker 23 I mean, you're a seasoned travel veteran.

Speaker 27 Has anything like this happened to you?

Speaker 14 Have I ever taken an American airline? I mean, why would anyone book a bus through American Airlines? Why would the bus say American Airlines on it? You're not an airline, and you're a bus.

Speaker 16 And it was just a normal terminal, like one of the gates?

Speaker 14 Completely normal.

Speaker 39 How full was this flight?

Speaker 14 Oh, the bus was full.

Speaker 16 Was it a cheap flight?

Speaker 20 Did you think, wow, this is a cheap flight?

Speaker 14 I don't know. I don't pay for it.
ESPN does. I have no idea.

Speaker 14 Why would I assume that when I'm booking my air travel through American Airlines

Speaker 14 that it might be a bus?

Speaker 15 Was there any turbulence on the drive?

Speaker 14 South Bend, South Bend is about a three-hour drive from Chicago Airport, right? So you couldn't just take another small flight anywhere closer to that.

Speaker 14 The funniest thing was, when Zaz started the story, I was going to say, you flew to South Bend? Why didn't you just fly to Chicago and drive from there?

Speaker 16 I thought there was a different Chicago in another state. That's where I thought we were going.

Speaker 14 I text Amber Wilson. I said, you're not going to effing believe this.

Speaker 24 And then I just wrote, I want to go home.

Speaker 37 Thursday Night Football's on and it's only on Prime Video this week.

Speaker 4 The Minnesota Vikings head west to face the Los Angeles Chargers. Covers begin 7 p.m.
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