Hour 2: Amin's Taylor Hicks Story (feat. Shohei Petrovic)

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This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stu Gats Podcast.

In the time of NIL, we pay the money to obtain a regain to an out quick as a bunny with a team that Dan called the best in 20 years.

With one loss, they all feed on Mike Ryan's tears.

But screw the haters, Mike Will still make the playoffs.

You know what I'm saying?

So long as someone loses and coughs, up there leading the ACC because, oh shit, we no longer control our destiny And Mike Ryan saying I'm insane to complain We got Bane, Mario still building and I don't know the game Hey man, don't believe everything's on the QB He can throw four picks and blame the guys on his team And it is fine, Mario once again got to a fourth quarter and blew another chance to win

So

I'm a loser, baby.

Nothing new for Miami.

So,

what we lost to Louva,

I'm a loser, baby.

Nothing new for Miami.

I don't think that there are some college football stories that we're going to have time for today.

I don't think we're going to get to Clemson losing to SMU.

I don't think we're going to get to Brian Kelly and LSU.

I do think we're going to get to Florida and Florida State.

But before we go any further, you, Greg Cody, realize how close you are to having to walk to Seattle, correct?

I know in jest, I made that, you know, I made that bet.

You know, we did find a Seattle and I believe Illinois, right, Jeremy?

A little town?

Yeah, it was a village.

Also, I just want to make clear, that song is by Beck.

Loser by Beck.

So it's layered.

It's very layered.

Isn't the quarterback from Miami named Beck?

Yeah, yeah, you get get it.

Wow, it's a very layered song about how they're losers in Miami.

So, you could walk to Seattle, Illinois, hypothetically.

Can I get the sound here as Jeremy tries to torment us and I insist on bullying him?

Can I get the sound of him reacting to Jane Levy calling him a boy toy?

The pitch clock.

Jane, thank you so much for taking the time to join me today.

For you, boy toy, anything.

She makes me giggle.

I love her.

I'm not ashamed of that at all.

You laugh like an anime character.

You laugh like the Pillsbury Dole Boy.

I love her leaning into the boy toy thing.

We will get to Amin's weekend observations in a second, but I do believe that I have subject matter in front of me that is the only other connection point that we would have that I say rivals 90s baseball on something that everyone around here wants to talk about whenever it is present, and it is simply the old-fashioned heist.

When there is a heist, everyone has the language of heist and they know that they want to talk.

I don't know about whether it's Pierce Brosnan, Thomas Crown Affair.

I don't know if it's the Italian job, whatever dumbass movie we enjoy around here because it's a heist movie, it's happened at the Louvre.

The Louvre.

I don't know the items that have been stolen.

Mike has told me that there is a quick Cliff Notes version of the story that we have via audio here that will get everyone caught up very quickly.

A group of well-trained and really organized thieves broke into the Louvre Museum in Paris and in a matter of minutes successfully made off with priceless jewels, at least one that once belonged to Napoleon's wife.

This is not a new Ocean's 11 movie.

This actually happened yesterday.

And what is even crazier, it was in broad daylight and the museum was open with tourists and security and, you know, people in it.

The jewel thieves, dressed as construction workers, used an aerial lift to get up to a window, and then they had portable saws to cut through the glass of both the window and then the case where the jewels were on display.

They made off with their haul on, are you ready for this?

Scooters.

It's so very French.

Now, it would seem in their haste, they may have dropped one item, a crown believed to belong to Napoleon's wife, Empress Eugenie, which was discovered damaged outside of the gallery.

My lady gives off AI.

Why do daylight robberies always happen in broad daylight?

Why isn't it ever just daylight?

What's broad about it?

It's daylight.

That's your takeaway from that story?

And also, hey, Louvre,

how about a little security?

Like, is anybody guarding the jewels?

What's going on here?

It's got to be an inside job.

Somebody who's worked at the Louvre, somebody who's worked at the Louvre was in on this.

Time to throw away the journalistic credibility and get reckless.

I know what makes it.

Here is something we like to call reckless speculation.

You're good.

Inside, Java.

Inside, Java.

I hate to correct the eminently credible New York Post.

It's actually Napoleon III's wife, not the original Napoleon.

A royal crown was stolen and just left in the alley.

The crown jewels were stolen.

The crown was left behind.

But the crown was just left behind.

So this is an old-fashioned heist in, as they said, broad daylight, not just daylight.

Are there any other details that we need here?

She said priceless there.

That seems pretty worthless.

It's true.

The crown?

There's no price on it?

Well, they're going to be hard to resell, I would imagine, right?

Like, there's only one of its kind.

I don't know how you pawn this stuff.

I don't know how it sells on the open market.

Not going to surprise you.

I'm not an internet.

Hold on.

You don't know?

How many movies have you watched, Dan Lebatar?

It's a fence.

You go to a fencer.

Why is he called a fence?

I don't know, but they call him fencers.

And he goes, and the first thing he does is he pulls out the little monocle thing and he looks at it and then he lowballs the shit out of the heisters.

And the heisters are like, come on, Claude.

You told us you would pay us big for this.

Like, yeah, but the heat is too hot right now.

You got to lay low for a while.

And then Claude kind of comes back with an offer that's good enough because they need enough money to get to Mexico.

Once they get to Mexico, no extradition.

Claude's no dummy.

Ocean 11,

Ocean 12, these are the most famous versions of these movies that we love.

But this is in real life.

This is a heist.

It sounds less romantic than you would think if it's in broad daylight with saws.

Yeah.

And plus the three thieves supposedly were wearing ski masks.

So how does it work?

That's not true.

They were dressed as construction workers.

Construction workers.

No, but they had ski masks on, which is all the weird.

There's video everywhere is the problem.

Everywhere.

It's going to be hard.

I don't know how.

You can't get away with something like this, right?

We'll see.

No, they won't get away with it.

We'll see.

Do we have any suspects who were in the area at at the time that we can kind of shorten the list to?

This is not possible to pull off in the modern age.

Is it not?

The heist might be, but you will be caught and you will not be able to sell them.

Right.

How many hundreds of video cameras are there in the Louvre?

I mean, you don't get away with this.

They will be caught.

Especially because it was an inside job.

So one of them is connected with the Louvre.

So they will be caught.

We're speaking with an expertise I don't believe you or I have.

In a matter of hours?

Yeah, in a matter of hours.

No, in Greg's defense, it really doesn't make any sense to have this happen without an inside job because it's never happened before.

Why would they be able to do this now?

It makes no sense unless there was someone who was in the area that hadn't been there before.

Thank you, Billy.

Guys, these heist teams, you guys are still focused on who actually grabbed the jewels and ran.

You got to remember, there's other elements.

There's guys are on lookout.

There's guys who are acting like they're tourists, going around taking pictures with their wife.

Maybe they're, you know, down the hall, literally, where is it?

Literally down the hall, the Mona Lisa.

So a lot of people, that's the most popular thing there.

So you got a bunch of people taking pictures by the Mona Lisa, like, hey, I'm on vacation here.

Where are you from?

I'm from Florida.

I'm an American.

And then you do that.

Oops, I spilled my latte.

Everyone pays attention.

That's when the construction workers come out, grab the sub, get back out.

Now, you know what they do?

Unzip.

They take it off, put on like...

sunglasses, maybe a camera.

And now we're on scooters and now we look like tourists.

Come on.

It's pretty good the way that you've got the heist handled.

We've also established before today's show that any one of us, if we were wearing a vest of some sort and had a ladder under our arm, we would be able to get access to just about anything we wanted to.

This is the greatest proof of our theory ever.

Four guys, at least, maybe more, could be also women.

Don't want to discriminate here because women can be dual heists too.

If you saw Ocean's Eight, was that the one with the All Women Crew?

Yeah, or Stan calls it Ocean Eight.

It's one word, Ocean8.

It's a verb.

So you do this, you get the stuff, and then you get out of here.

They proved it.

Our theory is correct.

We should start going to games now like this.

Super Bowl, here we come.

Are you guys in agreement that Greg and I, who are not professionals or armed with any information whatsoever other than watching and listening to movies of this kind, when we say with confidence, these people will be found shortly and these are not things you can sell as if he and I are running in international black market circles.

You guys agree with us or disagree on that?

Like, there's no way you can just steal a crown jewel and then it's not retrievable, right?

What is the, like, I know the screen painting in Norway was stolen one time, but the most, the most famous of the heists that was international in nature that secured the greatest thing that has never been restored.

What is represented by the greatest of the heights, of the heists?

I would say

Denver winning that game Sunday over the Giants.

You know what?

Well done.

That's pretty good right there.

I'm here for you.

Usually.

Damn late.

The best heist ever you've never heard of.

Of the most valuable thing ever stolen?

Never heard of it.

Because oftentimes, if you watch National Treasure, you put like a perfectly great replica in its place.

You don't even know it's stolen.

I'm seeing in 2016, $70 million worth of Bitcoin was stolen.

Yeah, not really what we're talking about.

Boring, not exactly something you make out a documentary or a movie out of.

the great heist of just, you know, I had to click on my computer and stole a bunch of, you know, currency that was electronic.

The Mona Lisa was stolen 100 years ago.

Zaz went and saw the Mona Lisa here recently and called her overrated and small, I believe.

How recent?

Hmm.

How recent was it, Zaz?

Weren't you just?

I was there a few days ago.

You were at the Louvre a few days ago.

Was what?

Like four days ago?

Five days ago?

I was there a few days ago.

Interesting.

Mona Lisa, very small.

Yeah.

He was unimpressed.

He went after her on Zazzlo Show 2.0.

If you did not hear it, he went after the Mona Lisa.

If you are someone who does not like Europe,

thinks things in Europe are overrated.

Zaszlo speaks your language in the totally xenophobic Zaszlo Show 2.0.

You can't spell xenophobia without Zaz.

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Quick break here to talk to you about the official ticketing partner of the Dan Labatard show.

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Howdy, listeners, it's Mike Ryan and Chris Cody.

Hey, everyone.

Hey, Chris, we love hanging out so much.

You were at my birthday the other day.

You're old.

You know what I saw?

In your hand?

What?

A can of Miller light.

Whether it's a can, whether it's a bottle, a draft, a pour of Miller light, the draft board.

You see that beautiful iconic color?

Oh, the cold.

Right away.

The ice coldness to it.

Oh, it's so good.

Yes, Chris, the ice coldness to it.

Oh, whether you're hanging out with me on my birthday because I'm old or you're at a game, you know that Miller Light just makes every special time a Miller time.

That's how you make the special times by making them Miller times.

Game day just hits different with Miller Light in your hand.

Hitting different.

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That coldness, Chris.

That icy coldness.

That icy coldness.

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Icy coldness.

Don Lebatard.

Is there back in my day?

There is actually.

Were you not going to tell anyone?

Wait a minute.

You guys,

guys.

It's a Tuesday.

Stugats.

Here's your guy, Greg Cody, with Back in My Day.

Okay, here it is.

Sorry.

Adultery.

We are back.

I got waiting for this one.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Let's go ahead and do Amin's weekend observations.

I almost slept there.

Yeah, that's fine.

I'll wait for it.

I'll give you another one.

The Pink Panther diamond.

I mean, that was a big one, and they were eating the Hempigiels.

Not a real diamond.

I love an off-mico shit for the Hampa Gilles.

It is time for

to share his game notes.

No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy.

Weekend observations is presented by Miller Light.

Dan,

we questioned if the end was nigh.

We saw the writing on the wall.

We read the tea leaves.

We did our own research.

But last night, against a Falcons team that was riding high off of Wind vs.

Buffalo, he put up 200 yards in rushing and receiving and two TDs.

Just like that.

Make no mistake, Christian McCaffrey is back.

That's nuts, isn't it?

CMC.

It's just crazy.

He's just like seven functioning bones.

I can't bring myself to trust anyone named McCorkle.

Put it on the poll at Lebittard Show.

Can you bring yourself to trust anyone named McCorkle?

Even though they blew a 19-point fourth quarter lead, I'm happy the Giants finally got their QB.

We'll be putting a dort in the league's neck for the next decade.

Yes.

Yes.

Poor rope.

Tua Tunga Vailoa.

12 of 23 for 100 yards.

Three INTs.

Sacked twice and benched by Mike McDaniel

in a whooping at the hands of the hapless Cleveland Browns.

Greg, stay strong.

I feel a second half push coming.

Diamond hands.

After the game, Tua spoke to the media and he said, quote, I'm definitely not happy about my play this year.

I feel like i'll have french toast with a side of aluminum roofing unleaded please ladies and gentlemen kaiser wilhelm and the beach boys end quote

yes cte dan

not the fun kind but i try to make it fun

mike mcdaniel addressed the media about the benching of tua with all the confidence of chris rock requesting lingual contact with his testicles

you guys remember that bit excuse me a man uh excuse me a man could you uh could you please...

Good God, I haven't seen anyone stutter that much since Ben Stiller started as Tug Speedman starting a simple jack.

Couldn't be made today.

Reuben Stuttered.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

2004.

That's my kind of humor.

Reuben Stuttered was this guy from American Idol.

Yeah.

Fireman.

Okay.

I don't remember.

Shout out to Taylor Hicks, man.

That dude is cool.

That dude is cool.

Let me tell you something about Taylor.

Okay, I'm stopping weekend observations for a second second to tell you my Taylor Hicks story.

I'm in Vegas.

I'm at the club at Caesars with one of my buddies' assistant coach.

His buddy works as a manager at this super extreme nightclub.

Takes us to a cabana, which oversees the whole dance floor.

We go there.

The cabana to our left is Carmelo Anthony, and I want to say Chris Paul and some other NBA guys.

We're like, whatever.

The cabana to our right.

is Taylor Hicks, and he's singing word for word.

I don't know that

to walk a flaka.

Oh, let's do do it.

And I was mind-blown.

And my buddy was like, you know what?

Anyone else in the world would have been like Carmelo Anthony and Chris Wallet.

And we're like, the guy from American Idol kind of looks like Mark Cuban.

When he's saying Lee Von, it changed me.

Oh, my God.

All right, back to weekend observations.

14 carries, 120 yards, and a one touchdown.

If a running back put up those numbers, what would we say, Zaz?

Pretty good.

Yeah, pretty good, right?

If a QB put up those numbers, we'd say he's Haynes King.

Best running quarterback in the nation.

Let's go, Jackets.

We cracked the top 10.

You grounded Duke to dust in the fourth quarter with your offense.

With his legs.

This guy's amazing.

I can't believe the nation isn't enthralled by Haines King.

They're late arriving to one of the fringe schools, but the fact that he's winning games, like that guy should be in the Heisman conversation.

I'm not kidding.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, he could take Beck's place.

They almost lost Wake Forest.

They probably should have.

Yeah, but you know why they didn't?

Haines King.

There you go.

You know what he has?

Moxie.

And?

Guts.

Balls is the word we use for.

But also, Wake Forest went for two and shouldn't have and could have won the game while Haynes King was on the sideline.

How many yards per carry do you think he averages?

Carry Underwood.

There you go.

Thank you.

I've been all around this country.

Something I can confirm is uniquely Miami.

CVS EMAS.

What's the mass?

Is it those?

I'm serious.

Like, Dan, you say, oh, this is uniquely Miami.

We're like, Dan, this happens everywhere.

I swear to God, not in LA, not in Arizona, not anywhere with a strong Spanish population.

Have I ever seen CVS?

Imas.

Yes, Imas.

Or that means like you can get like a Santeria ritual in the back if you.

Can you?

Because it looks like the same as a regular CVS to me.

I walked around.

I was like, this is just CVS.

They just play my mouse there.

It's a playlist.

That's right.

It's the difference, honestly.

B.

John Robinson, Kajuka Sumo wrestler in a phone booth.

booth.

See, a phone booth, Jeremy, was this thing back in the day in the 20 CD.

You had to, like, when you make a call, you didn't have cell phones, you have to use land lines.

So you put a coin on it.

What's a landline?

Well, okay, so it's like a phone that has like a wire attached to the wall.

But then you can't take it anywhere.

No, it stays put.

Yeah.

All right.

No, it needs the music.

Superman also used to.

Okay.

No, I like it when the music is.

Take his costume off.

It's a misnomer that Superman would change into a costume.

His costume is actually Clark Kent.

See, the real Superman is Superman.

It's Cowell.

Hello, where?

To the person on my flight who refused to switch seats with someone because you don't like the number five.

Get out of here.

You miserable f.

Get out of here.

I swear to God, gets asked, hey, me and my boyfriend are over here.

Can we switch?

They're in row three.

He's in row five.

And the lady is like, I don't like the number five.

Oh, come on.

That was her whole thing.

I gave away her gender.

Shit.

Joe Mazzulla made his coaching staff play versus Celtics Media.

They won 57-4 and made a big deal about it across all Celtics' official social media accounts.

As if that proves some sort of point.

Maybe if you didn't measure yourself against washed-up former D3 athletes like Jay King,

you wouldn't blow multiple 20-point leads in the playoffs.

Oh, no.

NBC running promos for Michael Jordan segments called Insights to Excellence, Goosebumps.

So is he going to be on tomorrow?

He's going to be, right?

He's going to be on on opening night.

Okay.

Special segment, him and Mike Tarico, Insights to Excellence.

Okay.

Come on.

Tell me you won't tune into that, Dan.

Yeah.

There you go.

Michael Jordan Sparks.

There are 83 players on opening day NBA rosters who were born after LeBron made his NBA debut.

That's depressing.

FIFA cracking down on ticket scalping by forcing resale of tickets to their own ticket site,

then charging 15% commission to the seller and 15% commission to the buyer That's not just a heady play.

It's a bicycle kick from outside the box in extra time of a World Cup final game with a get-in price of $15,000

It's crazy like this is the high prior to this World Cup Dan you could only resell for face value you couldn't you couldn't like price gouch FIFA said we're gonna get rid of all these scalpers.

You only do it on our marketplace.

By the way, no limits to to what you can resell for why because they're getting 15 on both sides ouch

unbelievable i'm debuting a mini segment called missed connections it's almost like fifa might be corrupt oh my god

pablo tori finds out

debuting a new mini segment called missed connections you were the cute blonde at the supermarket mopping on aisle five I was the guy who dropped a family-sized jar of kosher dills.

Are brands paying more nowadays or are celebrities more desperate?

Why are Zoe Saldana and Jeff Bridges doing commercials for cell phone service?

That really pisses me off.

Like

the guys from Scrubs, okay, you guys were famous once upon a time.

Now you don't have a lot going on.

You can do these ads.

Fine.

That's normal.

That's what we've always grown up with in terms of commercials.

Now we're getting like Hollywood A-listers.

Doing like regular ads.

You're right about this.

I don't believe enough people are talking about this.

There are all sorts of movie stars who used to be movie stars who are cashing out in a way that is beneath them they're still movie star if they used to be i'd be fine but you're still a movie star bradley cooper doing uber eats commercials i'm saying back

when we had movie stars as a traditional construct is what i meant like now they are commercial pitch men for whatever it's like whenever i see them doing like paid for reads on podcasts and stuff like you're too rich for this you're too fat that's for us the d-listers D-listers.

Jesus, leave some scrums.

Crumbs.

Miller Light.

Yep.

M.

Knight, Shyamalan, and Nicholas Sparks are collabing on a project.

And now I'm wondering if AI-created scripts and movies are such a bad idea.

Did you know that early on M.

Knight was supposed to do the film adaptation to the notebook?

This is a true story.

Get the hell out of here.

I heard it on NPR.

Said he was the one who was like a weird happen to know.

I heard it on NPR.

It's like, you just hit that as the verifier.

Like, I heard it on NPR.

This is a fact.

Yep.

After me.

They interviewed them, and he said, like, actually,

I got to work with Nicholas early on because I was supposed to do the film adaptation to the notebook, and then the studio went in a different direction.

My question is, what do you think the twist would have been?

Had he gotten his way?

Ryan Gosling goes to World War II to fight alongside the Nazis.

Yeah.

Can't wait for American sports 25 years from now when there's a shit ton of athletes across all races and ethnicities named Shohei.

Top five Shoheys in sports 25 years from now.

Oh, wow, okay.

OLI,

Shohei Petrovich, MLS striker.

Except he'll say it's Petrovic.

Dumbass.

OLI,

Shohei Fontaine Jeffries, starting point guard in the WNBA.

Number five, Shohei LaFleur, NHL Goli.

Number four,

Shohei Valenzuela,

Golden Glove shortstop in the MLB.

Number three,

Shohei Friedman,

MLB pitcher, struck out 12.

Number two, Shohei Abdul Rahman,

MMA fighter.

And the number one Shohei in American sports 25 years from now, Shohei Shyamalan Jenkins.

Wide receiver for the Chiefs.

It's a good name.

Shohei the money.

Oh, thanks.

There was a heist at the Louvre this weekend.

That's the museum Zaz went to to go see the Mona Lisa.

It took four minutes and happened during business hours.

I know what you're thinking.

How could that happen?

Who was guarding the Louvre?

Turns out it was Rudy Gobert.

But the heister just ran high, pick, and roll the whole time, Greg.

Top five things the Louvre heist was almost faster than, almost faster than.

OLI, me at any blackjack table ever.

Doesn't matter matter how much money, doesn't matter what the minimum bet is.

Within like three and a half minutes, I'm done.

I'm sorry.

I'm horrible at blackjack.

Number five, minutes per game Bronny will average this season.

Just a hair under four minutes.

Number four,

me on prom night.

Just a couple hairs under four minutes.

Number three,

Miet Ninja Warrior.

Number two, Miet Ninja Warrior the second time.

And the number one thing that the Lou Rice was almost faster than, the Kanes reign at number two.

Home game.

Unranked opponent.

Yeah.

Four INTs.

Mike, what the hell happened, man?

Yeah.

Speaking of hell, our bryles.

Those are the weekend observations.

Thank you, Amin.

Amin will be at the watch party with us in Kendall.

Greg Cody is not yet confirmed, but I urge you to make plans to be with us that night.

It's going to be a good deal of fun.

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Don Lebatard.

Quiet man.

Yes.

You know, I'm a married man.

I don't cheat on my wife, despite that gratuitous line in Back in My Year.

I wish you were here, my wife.

I really miss her.

No, I don't.

That's the thing about being married.

You know, you're not allowed to say, I don't miss my wife.

I've been gone two days.

I haven't been gone long enough to miss my wife.

I'm sorry.

I call her.

I'm sitting with her for 30 seconds.

You You know, what am I?

Hello.

All right.

All right.

We'll see you.

All right.

And then, you know, I'm going to see her in two days.

How's Jumping, Charlie?

Good.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

The college football stories of the weekend, more, I'm going to say regionally, even though Billy Napier being fired after a win is unusual, but they look so impressive against Mississippi State and the money's gotten so high.

You're talking about $2 million of private equity in the Big Ten and the SEC is the most competitive.

This is how it's going to be now.

You can lose your job after a win.

You could lose your job if simply Florida whiffs the smell of, no, we're better than Mississippi State, and we've got to prove it in a way that makes us something that feels more like it belongs with Oklahoma and with Texas.

And again, at the top of the standing somehow, Alabama gets a pick six, a 99-yard pick six, and Alabama somehow lost to FSU.

Somebody explain to me how FSU goes from swamping Alabama, winning by two touchdowns, to going to Stanford and losing when Stanford is as bad as there was in Division I.

Somebody explain it to me, please.

I don't get it.

SEC's not that good.

You don't think Alabama's that good?

Alabama looks like a different team, but we're also taking the results.

But they got their asses handed to them by FSU.

You can say they were underprepared, but we just forget about all of that.

It's a terrible loss.

But this is the SEC branding.

You have a team like Tennessee whose best win is against Mississippi State, ranked ahead of teams like Louisville and USF.

Good loss is better than good wins, Mike.

And that wasn't even a good loss, Alabama.

They got their asses handed to it.

They're just a team and the brand name.

What's funny about what they're saying, Zaz, is what just happened to Billy Napier at Florida is basically this.

It's condensed, but it's basically this.

Everyone in the SEC is competing for the big dollars.

And if you do have a bit of a coaching and NIL edge, you too can be Vanderbilt or Missouri or one of these schools that's now competing at the top of the SEC when those were never allowed to compete.

Never mind the top of the SEC, they've always been the doormats.

So when Florida is merely a little bit better at home than Mississippi State and loses to South Florida, and Vanderbilt and Missouri matter now.

They can win any weekend against Alabama.

Everything at the top end of the SEC is they're all throwing throwing money at it because it's never been easier to get to the top of the sport if you have $20 million.

If you have $20 million that people have an expendable income, you could be Vanderbilt or Missouri or Texas Tech or one of these other schools buying your way right to the top of the game.

And Florida's behind now because Florida had the head start.

Florida has the tradition, has the history, has the expectation of excellence.

But now they're officially behind.

And Billy Napier, you're out on your ass because that's not good enough.

We did better with Dan Mullen.

That wasn't good enough because Florida's standard is not where Vanderbilt and Missouri's is.

Well, they gave Billy Napier three and a half years, and his combined record is 22 and 23.

You don't do mediocrity if you're the Florida Gators.

And the buyout doesn't matter anymore.

It doesn't matter how high it is.

Front Office Sports reported today that the nine firings so far

in the top level, the buyouts have totaled $116 million already this season.

Oh, but it's mattering in Tallahassee.

You can't.

The buyout is absolutely mattering in Tallahassee.

You can't go, Greg, you cannot go from the weirdness of we were atop the sport 13 and one, quarterback away, our quarterback gets injured.

The next season, we're two and ten, and then we're good enough to beat Alabama, but then we go to Stanford, not just Stanford, Pittsburgh.

FSU's weird.

FSU, whether the SEC is what Mike says it is or not, you win at home against Alabama by two touchdowns.

You're going to get everyone's attention.

I don't have a good way of explaining what's going on with FSU because I understand they didn't play anyone great those next couple of weeks after Alabama, but that FSU team, like, it looked like they were back.

You know, it looked like, not the team two years ago that went undefeated, but they looked like a legitimate team.

And then, I mean, this weekend, you lose the way that you did out there.

And

Jeremy, please get for me the game logs on Stanford this year because I don't think it was late at night.

And he's favored by 30 points against Stanford.

What happened late in that game, FSU?

It was a late game, okay?

And all of a sudden, you have no offense that FSU can get against Stanford.

But when I give you the game logs on Stanford, that program's in disarray, but Andrew Luck, the GM, asked someone for $50 million and got it.

Beautiful job by me.

Asked someone for $50 million as a donor to Stanford, and that gets you in the game now.

Do you realize the market inefficiency that someone that Andrew Luck just exploited?

Wait a minute, I can get in that game for $50 million if I know the right person.

I can actually run an athletic program that competes.

What he inherited post-David Shaw is how bad a team is this?

This team this season is three and four.

They lost at Hawaii by three.

They lost at BYU 27-3.

They won at home against Boston College by 10 points.

They lost at Virginia by 28, 48-20.

They beat San Jose State by a point at home and had just come off getting crushed by SMU 34-10

before beating Florida State.

How do they do that?

Welcome to the Gus Malzon experience.

Mike Norvell last won an ACC game when he was 42.

He's 44 now.

Oh my God.

This is, you know,

after

they said the ACC wasn't good enough for them and demanded a new salary, a new revenue share structure because they were the class of the conference.

And then they haven't beaten anyone in the conference since.

What is his buyout again?

I'm sorry, Norvell, because this is the game that we're playing now in the state of Florida.

It's a business game.

Do you have $20 million to get into the game?

Do you have the money to buy James Franklin's $50 million?

Like, you understand that this is welcoming all the local car dealers to help us fund our program so that we can have a 50 million.

Look, the Ohio State roster, it was viewed as all sorts of expensive.

$21 million in sports isn't that expensive.

They could sell that with some well-placed concessions and merch.

Like the sport is a giant thing, and the amount of dollars that we're talking about that buys out James Franklin now, 50 million is not that much.

Mike Norvell would be owed about $55 million.

Gus Malzon, the offensive coordinator, would get another 3.6.

Tony White, the defensive coordinator, 2.6.

Yeah, I've seen pretty high estimates for what that buyout would take for the entire staff.

And look, the boosters have to pay for these buyouts, even in today's NIL age.

So they have to pay for NIL and the buyouts.

And FSU does not have the same kind of base that Florida has,

Nor do they have the SEC money.

An idea for a movie, Boosters Millions.

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