Alley Oop 135 | Major Trail Blazers Win, Lakers Dominating, & Cooper Flagg Struggles + The Wild Airline Video Everyone’s Talking About!

Speaker 1 I cannot believe, Juju,

Speaker 1 you have the gall

Speaker 1 to wear a, not just a Celtics jersey, which we know you're a Celtics fan, but to wear a juice

Speaker 1 Jalen Brown

Speaker 1 jersey on the heels of him getting another head smudge onto some other grown man's jersey.

Speaker 1 You know what? Listen, Jalen Brown is your brother in Christ. And even when, because I know that's pretty much all your brothers are brothers in Christ,

Speaker 1 anybody who would rep a man after his lowest low, actually, I take that back.

Speaker 1 That's a true ride or die.

Speaker 2 There we are.

Speaker 1 That's a true ride or die.

Speaker 2 As a matter of fact, let me make sure I hang on this while we say this topic as well, because this did happen. People like to act like this didn't happen just because, for some reason.
This happens.

Speaker 2 This happening, but at the same time,

Speaker 2 my brother did have another.

Speaker 1 Is that like,

Speaker 1 this is happening?

Speaker 2 This is happening.

Speaker 2 This is happening. Tea is happening.

Speaker 2 But my brother did have another smudge that was heard around the world again.

Speaker 2 Miss Rebecca, you had it queued up. I took too long.
But yeah, man.

Speaker 2 It's the Washington Wizards last night. My boy done smudged another one.
And I think I'm turning the corner on this. Take it away, Miss Rebecca.

Speaker 2 Ah, damn.

Speaker 2 Yep, drives to the hold. Drives to the hold.

Speaker 1 Is that Keyshawn George? Yeah, it is. You got Keyshawn George.
By the way, Keyshawn George, you're asking for it because you're wearing a t-shirt underneath your jersey.

Speaker 1 Is that what you were about to say?

Speaker 2 Nah, I think, look, I have turned the corner on this completely. I was feeling sad and kind of like, damn, my boy going through this right now.
But now,

Speaker 2 I think I like the Smudge Nation, bruh. Smudge Nation, stand up.
Look,

Speaker 2 if you're going to call yourself Garden Jalen Brown, go ahead. Hey, you better wear your unsmudgeable jersey because I'm smudging shit, bro.
Like, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 I like it. The smudgster, I like it.
That add that to his offensive repertoire. Yes, I can give you a bucket.
Yes, I can give you 35 right now. But guess what you're going to take home with you?

Speaker 2 Smudge on your jersey.

Speaker 1 Instead of a jersey swap, it's like, well, that's just as good. That is actually better than a Jalen Brown signature.
That's more of a signature. You could probably sell that on eBay for crazy work.

Speaker 2 That's where we at now. You see what I'm saying? My boy, feeding families now.

Speaker 2 I don't turn the corner on this now. Now, my boy, giving out memorabilia.
Imagine OG Anna Nobi, Jersey, with the Jalen Brown smudge on eBay. Oh, boy.

Speaker 2 500,000.

Speaker 2 Easily.

Speaker 1 500,000. Because

Speaker 1 you can fake a signature, but you cannot fake. the Jalen Brown smudge because everyone will be on wax.
Everyone will have been

Speaker 1 tea for us to be talking about. So, Juju, you know what? Go ahead and ride for your guy, Jalen Brown juice.

Speaker 1 Let him know that no matter what, when he feels like he's at his lowest and we all are just besmirching his hairline,

Speaker 1 that you have his back.

Speaker 2 I got my boy back. Look, also too, this is a story I don't tell too many people, but only like four people know this.
Me, Jalen Brown, my homegirl, KK, and my girlfriend. I know this.

Speaker 2 Remember, think back. It was a cold night in Indianapolis, and the All-Star game was happening that weekend.

Speaker 2 And my boy Jay Bizzle, he went out and had a dunk contest that wasn't necessarily awesome to the public. It was not.
You hear me?

Speaker 2 After that, though, he was hanging out around the arena. And I pulled up on my boy.
I said, look, bruh, don't worry about none of this. This don't matter.
Folk bullying you, but they crazy as hell.

Speaker 2 They're gonna be sad when you win that championship this year and you the finals MVP.

Speaker 2 That conversation happened

Speaker 2 right before my boy became the finals MVP. That's why it meant so much to me.
I talked to my boy at his lowest day. I say, Look,

Speaker 2 remember this face right here when you went when you holding that trophy. And I know my boy do.
Salute. Moving on.

Speaker 2 The Lakers.

Speaker 2 Look, the Lakers looking awesome right now.

Speaker 2 They handled the Spurs last night in a good comeback win, you feel me? Down, Austin Reeves. Already down, LeBron James.
Still found a way behind 77.

Speaker 2 AKA Luca Vandross.

Speaker 1 That's a good one. Luca Vandross is a good one.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I got to give credit to my sister, Katie Nolan, for that one.

Speaker 2 That's not my word.

Speaker 1 She says she wants some Marvin Gaye, some Luca Van Tross, some little LeBron, and let this put this arty off right. Wanna be? Wanna be?

Speaker 2 Nana B. Nana B.
Nana B.

Speaker 1 Yo, Luca looks skinny as hell. I'm not gonna lie to you, Juju.

Speaker 2 Bruh the LA? LA make you want to do this right here.

Speaker 1 His face,

Speaker 1 his face, his cheekbones are popping out.

Speaker 1 You're starting to see a little shoulder insertion muscle over there. And he looks like he can get up and down the floor like crazy.

Speaker 1 So, without Austin Rees, who I thought he was kind of just fading against the Blazers, didn't want to play on the back-to-back. And I was like, oh, he just disrespect.

Speaker 1 No, he actually has a groin injury. So, without,

Speaker 1 you've now played games, multiple games, without LeBron. You've played multiple games without Luca Van Dross.
And you've played multiple games without, what do they call him?

Speaker 1 Alabama, Alabama Larry Bird.

Speaker 2 Come on, wait a second, Brayton.

Speaker 2 You buried the lead. I ain't even seen the big dog back there.
Come on, man. We fucking T, man.
Come on, bruh.

Speaker 1 That one's for you, Juju.

Speaker 2 Yes, sir, man.

Speaker 1 So you got multiple games without these

Speaker 1 shot makers, these creators, these bucket-getters.

Speaker 2 BGs.

Speaker 1 And what is their record? They're seven and two right now. Seven and two.
You've played a pretty difficult task schedule.

Speaker 1 You had nobody when you played the Blazers. You were nine and a half point underdogs and you smacked them up

Speaker 2 on the road.

Speaker 1 I hate even saying all this. I hate the Lakers so much.
But they really do look good. You got Jackson Hayes over there looking like he's,

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Hakeem. You got him going up for losses.
Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he's not looking like Hakeem, okay? I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 I'm just kidding.

Speaker 2 Let's bring it back.

Speaker 1 But he does look like Derek Wiley.

Speaker 2 He does look like Haseem Thabit out there right now.

Speaker 1 He's looking like...

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's looking like the centers,

Speaker 1 that got reinvigorated, the Daniel Gaffords of the world.

Speaker 2 There we go. Roy Hibberts.

Speaker 1 The Roy Hibberts of the world. He's looking like the guys that Luca has these amazing lob connections with that can

Speaker 1 run the floor and just dunk. That's all you need to do.
Just run the floor, jump, and Luca got your back. Okay?

Speaker 2 You got a lot

Speaker 1 happening with Dominating. He's not dominating, but he's at least playing above his $5 million contract that you paid him for.

Speaker 2 Right. Looking good so far.

Speaker 1 Listen, you got Jake Laravia,

Speaker 1 Jake mashed potatoes and gravia.

Speaker 2 Okay?

Speaker 2 I like it. Look, look, look, look, we might drop an album after this show.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Twitter.

Speaker 1 You got Nick Smith. You got Nick Smith looking like Steve Smith.
Okay?

Speaker 1 He was giving us the business, Juju.

Speaker 1 People were like, who is this Smith Jr.? I was like, people don't remember that Nick Smith Jr. was a top three kid coming out of high school when he went to Arkansas.
So he's no slouch, Nick Smith.

Speaker 1 Anyway.

Speaker 1 All that to say, the Lakers do look formidable offensively, at least. Their Their defense is probably not going to be great, but they can come back on anybody from 20 down.

Speaker 2 Yeah, bro. It's looking scary because, like you said, that's not even kind of close to their best effort just yet.

Speaker 2 And breaking news, LeBron James just said that he is, well, the people just said that LeBron James has been cleared for physical contact, full contact. You did.
He's been cleared to come back now.

Speaker 2 My boy done seen enough. He like, look, them boys 7-2 without me right now.

Speaker 2 I done got all my fits off that I wanted to get off for real. My son, Jersey.
My other son got two points.

Speaker 2 I think I'm ready to come back.

Speaker 2 He saw that Luca stepped through two defenders last night. He was like, bruh, I'm coming back tomorrow.
No questions asked.

Speaker 2 But salute to the Lakers, but I think we buried the lead right now. How dare I start this show without giving my sister's team just as much as I'm giving my team right now?

Speaker 2 The Portland Trailblazers slayed the dragon. They are the first to say, the first to say this year and beat the thunder.
Take it away, Miss Rebecca.

Speaker 2 Come on, man.

Speaker 2 Look,

Speaker 2 got the job done

Speaker 2 with Ti Do Splanter. At the ham, helm, man.

Speaker 2 Gatum Folks they first lost

Speaker 1 16 games in a row. My team has lost to the Thunder.
That's tough. Come on, man.

Speaker 2 We got the runway right now, sis. Go ahead, take it away.

Speaker 1 We ended up coming home after an embarrassing, well, not coming home, staying home. We should have gone home on Monday night when this team played against the Lakers.

Speaker 1 And like I said, Nick Smith looking over here like Steve Smith, putting the team on his back with 25 points.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I'm like, all right, if we can't muster something up against these Lakers without anybody playing,

Speaker 1 what is going on? Why are we four and a half point underdogs only to the defending champs that just beat the shit out of the Clippers?

Speaker 1 I was like, this is just not going to go. I'm going to go to the game, but I don't think it's going to go well for us.
And then instantaneously, we're down 20. Instantaneously.
I'm like, okay.

Speaker 1 And I'm looking over my guy, Justin Verrier from the Ringer, sitting next to me, which shockingly he lives in Portland now.

Speaker 1 So we got a couple of net salute, got a couple of national Mac talkers over here at the media table looking at each other like, you know, this Blazers team might actually not be very good.

Speaker 1 I said, you know, maybe you shouldn't have spent all that airtime talking about us on the ringer on group chat. Shout out to them.

Speaker 1 Maybe I shouldn't be saying this Blazers team is for real. And it was a slog.
I'm ready to disown shaden sharp this man doesn't know basketball he's out there looking like a space cadet we got

Speaker 1 we got then then all of a sudden just something clicked after halftime we got we got people people don't know his his name but his name dwap dwap reeth over here pow pow

Speaker 1 pow four threes for the big man Four threes.

Speaker 1 And then you look up, it's kind of like the reverse of what you normally see with OKC, where like they're up two, and then you go and go to the bathroom. You come back, they're up 20.

Speaker 1 You like they're up 20, and all of a sudden, we're up one.

Speaker 1 I was like, whoa, what happened here? And then seven minutes left in the game comes, and we're in it. And I'm like, okay, this is kind of go time.

Speaker 1 Who knows what this is? This is where OKC makes their living by shutting the door.

Speaker 2 And then,

Speaker 1 then your guy that's been besmirched by the national media because he won a championship, was the key piece of a championship team in the Boston Celtics. All he does is go places he'll win.

Speaker 1 He goes to Perry and is a part of a long Olympics run to win gold again.

Speaker 1 Didn't do a lot on that team, but he still was doing stuff.

Speaker 1 And then he's banged up, coming into the season, and everybody's like Drew Holiday is washed, and he's making too much money. And what is Portland doing trading for him

Speaker 1 and so seven minutes left in the game Drew Holiday puts the team in his backpack in his Duffy and says I am the man this I am the captain now just contested three after contested three strapping up Shea Gilgis Alexander gets into the mid-range oh you thought you were with me you are not easy mid-range shot and then all of a sudden the blazers are up seven or eight and he's just the the steadying force.

Speaker 1 And I thought to myself, Where are those critics now? Where is Zach Lowe now? Where's Bill Simmons now? No shade, but like Sirius Late because everybody was like, This doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 1 Why would they want to go get a guy making this much money on this young team? He's a veteran, it just makes absolutely no roster

Speaker 1 construction sense.

Speaker 1 And to that, I say, Did you watch Drew Holiday turn back the clock last night? Defensive prowess, scoring, ball handling, creation, leadership, steadiness, and beating the team that had been unbeaten.

Speaker 1 We slayed the dragon.

Speaker 2 Bravo, bravo. Everybody, give my sister a round of applause right now.
Like, come on, man. We don't recap stuff like that.
That's the biggest recap ever, man. Come on.

Speaker 2 And she ain't even mentioned the hero in this household. This household right here celebrates this man every single time Portland is on at a thousand o'clock Eastern Standard Time

Speaker 2 my brother to money camera bruh I don't I'm gonna follow that man wherever he go

Speaker 2 no matter what now salute the draft kings our partners

Speaker 2 You already know what's happening when I see two money Kamara I'm going over no matter what I don't care because my boy done proved himself to me but at the same time he stepped up in that second half.

Speaker 2 His defense. He did.
Come on, man. Like, you can't pay for that.
Well, I guess you can pay for it for the right price they're paying, my boy.

Speaker 2 But his defensive prowess, you put that beside my boy, my cousin, Jeremy Grant. Oh, my goodness.
Come on, man. Them boys in Portland got something to say this year.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Yes, Chauncey Phillips, he besmirched them right quick.

Speaker 2 But you know how good you got to be to beat the besmirch of the feds on your your ass, the mafia on your Lakoskra. No, scrub them.
Come on, man. And then

Speaker 2 dogs.

Speaker 1 And also, and also, and also, shout out to Danny Abdia because he was one for 11, had gone to the free throw line 10 times, and ends up one shy of a triple double to end the game, and probably should have gotten the triple double because they didn't give the assist to him on his fifth assist when Drew Holiday hit a shot that was passed from him.

Speaker 1 So we need a stat correction DraftKings. Anyway, Denny was out there balling.
He looked quick. He looked able to slash.
He was hitting tough shots. He was getting into the lane.
He was taking contact.

Speaker 1 And the refs, the refs are in mid-season form.

Speaker 1 Tom Foolery. Bull ishery.
Come on now. They were trying to give the thunder that game.
I watched every second, every possession, and I said, they don't want us to win this game.

Speaker 2 They don't. But get what?

Speaker 1 They even, that foul, they even called it a landing space foul, like with two seconds left on the clock.

Speaker 1 Thank God they didn't say he was behind the line and give him three free throws and send us to overtime where dogs go to die, Juju. I was losing my mind.
I was losing my mind.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 2 The whole hood lit out for celebration when they saw my boy Isaiah Joe toe on the line. I was like, okay, yeah, there we are.
We back.

Speaker 2 Salute to the Blazers, man, and Tiago Splitter. Look,

Speaker 2 they're going to make some noise this year. No questions about that.
You feel me?

Speaker 1 I am just absolutely shook at not just the fact that they are, I think, only have one win, but the fact that we've got Jason Kidd out here

Speaker 1 trying

Speaker 1 to do the same thing with Cooper Flag

Speaker 1 that got him fired from the Milwaukee Bucks doing it with Giannis Onta Tecumpo. Point guards are not

Speaker 1 built.

Speaker 1 They are grown.

Speaker 2 Yeah, man.

Speaker 1 That man is not a point guard.

Speaker 2 I got my boy losing for the

Speaker 2 same in his life. Go ahead, Ms.
Rebecca. Please clip with the flat postgame last night.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think Max said it said it fine.

Speaker 4 I mean, for me, it's the most, you know, block

Speaker 4 since, you know, know I think ever so you know it's obviously a lot different and you know you have to adapt to just playing a lot more games and you know get get used to that but you know I would I wouldn't say anybody's happy you know guys obviously trying to stay level-headed and know that we've got a lot more games to go and it's still really early but I mean speaking personally I know it's not it's not fun to just keep losing and losing games so I'd like to make a change and hopefully start you know making steps to our how how you gonna do it how you gonna do it coop

Speaker 1 how you going to do it? You don't have a point guard, sir. You got Indiana Pacers that found their way to get Mac McClung, and you guys are still rolling out with this Giannis plan.

Speaker 1 We're going to turn Cooper Flag to do what we did with Giannis.

Speaker 1 Giannis is an absolute egomaniac monster ball handler now because

Speaker 1 Jason Kidd, besmirched, because Jason Kidd decided he was going to try to... convince Giannis that Giannis should be the fulcrum of the offense.

Speaker 1 And Giannis will never give the ball up ever again to save his life. Do not fall into that trap, Cooper Flag.
You're better than this.

Speaker 2 We got to get to the most important segment that runs the entire Addie U organization.

Speaker 1 Boys. Boys, stop.

Speaker 2 Miss Rebecca, what you got for us today?

Speaker 3 Take a position on this. What would you both do?

Speaker 1 What would you both do?

Speaker 3 And I have a thought: in this situation,

Speaker 2 stand by.

Speaker 1 Alright, so we got, I see the floor and I see some sandals.

Speaker 2 It seems like the airplane.

Speaker 1 Is that a McDonald's order in the plane?

Speaker 2 Oh, hello.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's got his socks on.

Speaker 2 Hold up. Oh, no.

Speaker 2 On the airplane.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. His sock is wet.
His much wet, yeah. His sock.
What was... Oh, no.

Speaker 2 Okay, so that is the toilet overflowed.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 3 Into the aisle where the passengers were were sitting. That's what that was.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what am I gonna do?

Speaker 1 I am going crisscross applesauce. First of all, socks going off.

Speaker 2 Okay? Whoa! Socks,

Speaker 1 well, the sock is already filled with piss.

Speaker 1 So the socks gotta come off. I'm gonna take a t-shirt off or something, wrap it around my foot.
Put my shoe back on.

Speaker 1 Put my shoe back on.

Speaker 2 I'm going crisscross applesauce and I'm not moving until they go grooving and take that that toilet water off the aisle interesting what would you do Jujo I ain't gonna lie to you I'm gonna scream at the top of my lungs for as long as I can and let them know how grossed out and how my plane ticket didn't come with piss on my socks and I'm finna sue I don't know if it's what airline I'm not gonna say an airline because I don't know which airline but whatever airline that i'm riding on currently it's now finna be called juju juju airline exactly juju west juju airlines like come on bro

Speaker 2 i'm sitting in my seat and i got pp on my

Speaker 1 delta delta gotti airlines exactly we're gonna be we coming up with united ju

Speaker 2 and my sister my sister gonna be flying from port

Speaker 2 to that.

Speaker 1 That's how we get to the peace talks. That's right.

Speaker 3 I gotta tell you, I'm not sure if I would complain in this situation because, like, I'm a quasi-elderly-ish, whitish woman. They're gonna duct tape my ass to the plane.
Like, these guys

Speaker 3 have, they are very unfriendly. Like, I could just see my ass duct tape to the plane.
Why are you complaining? There's not water anywhere but there.

Speaker 3 And, you know, and so I land, I, you know, piss all over me. And I ain't going down as a Karen.
I'm not doing it. I'm not being duct taped.

Speaker 2 Miss Rebecca, I love you so much. My boy, stop right now.

Speaker 2 Piss all over me. Never, never.

Speaker 1 Never, never. Listen, this is not an R.
Kelly party.

Speaker 2 It's a golden shower.

Speaker 1 Listen, we're not doing that.

Speaker 2 No, no deal.

Speaker 1 You know, the thing that these airlines do, the thing that these companies do, they gaslight you into thinking you should just accept whatever.

Speaker 2 Exactly. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 They're like, what? Like, that was beyond. So, what a man died on your airline right next to you on the

Speaker 2 window blew out. So, what? So, what?

Speaker 1 You watched multiple passengers put a needle through this man's chest and try to blow into this pen container

Speaker 1 and watch him die before your very eyes and spent $275 one way to do so.

Speaker 1 Are we giving you a credit back? Take this $25 and this free Wi-Fi and be happy with it.

Speaker 2 $25? No. Take this 300 miles on your computer.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 No damn 300 miles. Yeah, he got nowhere.
I ain't calling me.

Speaker 1 They give you $30

Speaker 1 back in credits.

Speaker 2 Look, man, and that concludes another episode of the Alley. Ooh, man.
Thank you so much, as always, to my sister. Look how the sun hit my sister's skin right now.
Look how it's hitting her hair.

Speaker 1 That's what happens when you slay the dragon. That's what happens when you beat the champs.
You just get an aura around you until you lose.

Speaker 2 You did. Also, much and big thanks, as always, to my brother Dylan, the distinguished Dylan, as well as my sister, the rowdy rowdy,

Speaker 2 Rebecca,

Speaker 2 Donna Hugh. Check her out, coming to a city near you.
You dig it. Thank y'all for locking in with us.
Catch us this Friday on the DLS,

Speaker 2 whatever they call it, channel.