Hour 2: The Long Midwest Goodbye (feat. Charlie Berens)

41m
"Oh, you CAN say asshole?"

Charlie Berens is Midwest Nice, and he's here in Florida for his latest tour and to explain to us why he stands out like a sore thumb, for cryin' out loud. Plus, Giannis... something happening there?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Press play and read along

Runtime: 41m

Transcript

All right, Smirnoff, official vodka of the NFL, world's number one vodka. Chris Cody, you're with me here.
Smirnoff!

Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Spinoff.
I'm gonna ask you, Chris, what's your favorite game day food? Smirnoff! Not your favorite game day drink. What's your favorite game day food? Smirnoff!

All right, here's the deal: game day is everything. The noise, the rituals, the passion, the dip, the wings, the dip again.
Spirit off.

Smirnoff off belongs in that mix because if you're tailgating or hosting or just sitting there checking your fantasy lineup every 30 seconds, you need Smirnoff! Otherwise, it's not a real game day.

They've been doing it since 1864, which is... I don't even want to do the math.
It's a long time. It's like when Greg Cody was born.
They're award-winning.

They make cocktails super easy and they're all about bringing fans together. So yeah, we do game days.
That's their thing. And if you're over 21, you should too.
Why, Chris? Smearing off.

Grab a bottle of Smearin' Off at your local retailer and head to Smearin'Off.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day. Smearing off.
Please drink responsibly. Smearing off.

Number 21, vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smearin' Off Company.
New York, New York. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age.
Smearing off.

Folks, losing at fantasy football has consequences.

It really does. I mean, a new tattoo, a bad haircut, waffle challenges.
I've seen those waffle challenges. Those look delightful.

You're stressing me out with that soundboard. Well, fantasy football is stressful.
So stressful that it can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentech's mouth guards help with nighttime teeth grinding.

I'm actually a grinder, and it's a problem I have. And that's why Dentech wants to protect your teeth while raising the stakes with this fantasy season.
This is very exciting.

If you want the loser of your fantasy league to live in infamy at the 2026 Football All-Star Game, sign up for the Ultimate Fantasy Football Punishment at dentech.com/slash ultimate punishment.

No purchase necessary. Open to legal residents of the 50 U.S.
states and D.C. who are 21 years of age or older.
Contest ends on December 8th, 2025. Void where prohibited.

For details and official rules, visit dentech.com slash ultimate punishment.

Now's a good time to remember where Tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila.
Cuervo.

What are you doing here? Cuervo. Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

Well, I do know that to be true, but even during ad reads, like, Cuervo, I think you could lay out, especially for one of our great partners. Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.
Cuervo. So, enjoy the tequila that started it all.
Cuervo. Cuervo.
The tequila that invented tequila.

Brooksimoquervo.com, please read responsibly. Cuervo.

This is the Don Labatar Show with the Stu Gats Podcast.

We learn all sorts of stuff we did not know on South Beach Sessions, and this week Chuck Todd is on the show. And I did not realize that he's somebody who just loves to gamble.

He is a gambler, a big gambler.

He also fancies himself a cook and has taken the challenge of will cook against Greg Cody if Greg Cody is willing to unretire because he's been complaining that all our cooking competitions are fixed and that he's never won one.

even though he is a very good cook and he cares about it and I will say it honestly he's great at cooking but he's lost all the cooking competitions around here and Chuck Todd that's fun Roy didn't want a rematch but Chuck Todd says he makes a good turkey let's play one clip did you guys you guys didn't know he was a gambler though right like he but he's got a rule when it comes to gambling that I did not know I will say this I never gamble on Miami games Because I don't want to be doubly disappointed.

Really?

I never gamble on Hurricane Games, and I refuse to do it. We'll never do it, no matter how tempting, no matter how confident I am and how poorly our coach will cover spreads

or anything like that.

But I won't gamble in Miami. I wish I had.

That's the only one, though. That's your only sacred cow, the University of Miami.
The only sacred cow. The only one.
Yeah, the only sacred cow.

Lest you think it's a bit with Mike Ryan, he just whispered in my ear annoyingly.

I couldn't even hear what was happening that Chuck Todd was saying because he's like Miami 7-5 against the spread, Notre Dame 6-6.

And also, I know why Dan likes Texas Tech so much because they're 11-1 against the spread. Ah, crush his team.
That's his team. Crush everybody.
I love my moneymakers, too.

Can't wait for BYU to beat them. I think the only one is when they were playing with their backup quarterback.
I think that's the only time. I mean, they've been beating everybody else up.

What if BYU wins, Alabama loses, and then Miami gets in over Alabama?

I don't think that's happening. If Alabama loses a close game, they're still going to get in.
I heard Colin Cowherd say yesterday that Alabama's victory at Athens is worth three victories.

And I think we should just make it up.

Because we're already making it up. We'd all agree on two.
Notre Dame fans have reason to be upset.

There was nothing more confounding than hearing Hunter Urich say, like, that win at 5-7 Auburn, that was really impressive how they went for it on fourth down over there.

Last year, Miami, it was held against them. And I agree that they were in these close games against lesser competition.
Alabama hasn't played good football for a month.

They're just getting it over the line, needing trick plays and ballsy decisions. A lot of fourth downs.
They've been saved by two fourth down games.

And anytime Coleman touched a football in that game, it was a disaster. So did we.
I don't understand. Like, what? Like, because they beat five, they barely beat five and seven Auburn.

Now we're moving them up. Jeremy, the floor is yours.
Mike, don't interrupt him.

You've been frustrated for about 10 straight days because you can't get a word in around Mike's elbows and teeth and general obnoxiousness. Well, the so did we sound bite says everything I need to.

Like, it's just that, and that as well. That's how I feel listening to all of this because the same arguments that get made on behalf of Miami don't apply to anybody else.
And it's understandable.

I have done the same thing, except, of course, when I've argued, it's been because my teams won all of their games and not dropped two of them. It is

for BYU, like, BYU is the one that's that's really getting to me because the whole argument for everyone over the last decade when it comes to the college football playoff is like,

well, you're not part of the power five, so you don't matter.

And now you have a team that worked their way to become a part of that conference.

that only has one loss and earned their way to their conference championship and is being told, hey, if you lose to the team that we already saw you lose to, we know who you are.

You're not as good as that team that is one of the top four teams in the the country. If you lose to them again, well, that's it.

You're gone for a team that didn't make it to their conference championship, you know, because seven and five Duke could. And it, you know, Notre Dame doesn't play in a conference.

Like there's all of these examples. It's upsetting.
It's the process. Everyone's upset with the process, whether you end up benefiting from it or you're the team left out.

So at this point, I'm just exhausted by it. Mike, everyone is.
The audience as well. Mike, do you have a rebuttal? I wasn't listening.
Yep.

One of the things I do believe I can get get the audience's attention with, even though it is something that really does

mess with me to see what's become of sports journalism content. Because today, Pablo Torre finds out again, has another story.

It's Epstein file related, though it's not the Epstein

news.

I saw clips of that last night. Whoa.
Yeah, Pablo does it again today with something that came out at five o'clock yesterday, and I urge you to watch it and listen to it because it is very thorough.

But as I see Pablo doing this incredible journalism, I myself feel guilty that I'm more interested in Giannis all of a sudden blocking the Milwaukee Bucks on social media, which is now telegraphing, this is the move now.

When you do this on social media, you are passive-aggressively telling everyone, I am done with my team.

He now telling his 16 million followers that he has unfollowed the Bucs. The Bucs are pretty bad this year.
He's been good. They're still bad.

My guess is that he wants to be playing somewhere else and that time has run out for the Milwaukee Bucks. That Miles Turner acquisition isn't going to keep him here

any more than that Shabazz Napier draft pick is keeping LeBron James in Miami in 2014. It's starting, Dan.
You know, coming up mid-December is when everyone becomes available to be traded. All right.

This is not a coincidence, this timing. It's all starting.
I've already, last night, I already worked the trade machine. I don't know if anyone else has done that.

I already worked the trade machine yesterday for how the heat, this young, overachieving team with a bunch of assets and positioning themselves to be a major player if, if a whale becomes available, it looks like it's all starting.

He's going to become available.

That part's obvious, is it not? Milwaukee's not good enough, and he already was tapping his wrist on his wristwatch, telling Milwaukee. That means it's time, run out of time.

I mean, they have run out of time.

They're not any good. Milwaukee's not

9-13. Milwaukee is not a player and a player for the championship, and that fall has been pretty precipitous since they won the championship.

I thought in those finals, Giannis' career career was over. I thought he landed on the court and he destroyed his knee and he would never play again.

Instead, he had one of the all-time greatest finals. That is correct.
He won the championship.

But since then, it's been nothing but decline and he's still great, indisputably great, and anybody would want him.

It's been a failure that they have not put around him what it is that he needs to get better at. So what does the trade machine show you? Well, it's not what the trade machine shows me.

It's what I decide to put in the trade machine. The trade machine is only a mechanism, Greg.
Have you ever used the trade machine? I have, just for laughs. It's only

no, I have. How does it work? Yeah.
Yo. You put in a couple of names and it spits out whether the

stories work and, you know, all that kind of bullshit. Don't believe it.
Barely nobody uses the internet. But what you're doing is you're setting up heat fans to be disappointed again.
Because

their track record on getting whales is not greatly. So now we don't even go after them is what you're saying.
No. We should give up on even wanting them.
No, what I'm saying is who would you give?

Who can the heat trade? I'm glad you asked.

I'm glad you asked. We'll give you Jovich.
That's number one. All right.
Oh, come on. What? You got to do better.
Just as part of it. We'll play Kalel Ware's, obviously, in this.

We'll give you Kalel Ware. Okay.
Yep. You got to give Ware.
All right. You got to give something to get something.
All right. Jovich, where,

hero. He's from Milwaukee.
And Hero? He's from Milwaukee. Y'all like him.
You got to give something to get something.

You got to give Wiggins because you got to make the salaries work. If I'm giving hero, I'm not giving Jaime.
Not doing it. I'm not giving Jaime either.
It's Hero, Wiggins. You can pick one.

Jaime or Hero? Where?

Who was the first one who said Jovich? And all the draft picks you want. For what it's worth, if you included all of that, you would need to take some other salary back as well.
Probably Kyle Kuzma.

We'd be giving them too much. That's how much Wiggins makes.
Well,

it's actually a really good salary considering the type of season he's having.

You could include Simone Fontechio instead of Wiggins, and that gets it done. Okay.

There are plenty of teams that will be interested in this. I would assume the New York Knicks among them because the Knicks are not good enough.

Were they giving up? With Carl Anthony Townsend.

Yeah, I'd assume that'll be. The Hawks would be really an interesting place as well because Jalen Daniels seems to be the guy that, like, or Jalen Johnson, rather, the guy that they want to

Trey Young in that spot? Well, they would. They would trade Trey Young.
They'd probably trade Christopse Porzingis a couple of picks.

But if you're Milwaukee and you're looking to build around something, it depends on how you value a guy like Trey Young or whatever his salary number is versus a guy like Tyler Gerard.

He's not going to want to go to Atlanta. New York is going to be interesting to him.
Donnis isn't going to want to go to Atlanta. That's the point, right?

Because I don't think this is going to be an ugly breakup. So because of what he has done for the franchise, I think his preference is going to play a major role.
Charlie Behrens is going to join us.

The comedian and/slash journalist is going to join us. He's got a tour that's rolling through South Florida.
He will be here in a few minutes.

But I wanted to get Greg Cody's thoughts on an assortment of things, including Mississippi's players saying that Kiffin lied to them, that Lane Kiffen lied to them.

I've heard a number of people say over the course of the last few days to justify their outrage that they totally understand why Lane Kiffin would go. They just don't like how he did it.

And I'm just curious if... there is an actual right way to do that to Mississippi.

This may be the worst way, but is there a right way to do that when Mississippi is having its best season ever is in the playoffs? Is there a right way to leave? I don't think there is

with this timing, but he picked the wrong way by apparently lying about whether or not ole Miss players wanted him to stay and coach.

And now he's leaving a trail of people, of players calling him a liar. We never discussed that.

That never came up in our locker room. And now the athletic director

basically bouncing him out the door and saying, hey, here's the door. Get out of here.
We don't want you to coach.

That's more explicable right now because apparently that's the truth based on everything that's come out.

Bad look for Lane Kiffen. Not the leaving, but the leaving a trail of people going, what?

We never wanted him.

Is there someone who cares less about the look, though? He turned his back on us. We don't want him coaching our team in the playoffs.

Are you saying that you have a problem because he never actually told the players that he wanted to coach coach them? I don't know how that would come up in a meeting.

He wasn't even allowed to.

He said that in the text when he left.

He did want to coach them. He did want to coach in the CFP.
He wasn't allowed to. But they didn't, the players didn't want him.
But I think, when did Lane say, these guys want me to coach?

I think is what we're going to do.

What are the players saying that he lied about? Because I really do believe, as I say this, like I've really heard so many people do this. So many people.

I don't have have a problem with him leaving because anybody can understand going to take a better job. I have a problem with the way that he did it.

And I just really don't think that there's a way for him to do it that would have been correct with this is the timing. I think for Lane, this wasn't that bad, given his history.

And also, like, there is a worse way to do it. It's how Nick Saban did it, which is say that you're not leaving.
And everybody knew this was always the case with Lane Kiffin.

When they hired him, they kind of knew that this day might come. They're just really upset about the timing of it because they're having what might be their greatest season ever as a program.

Can we talk about how banks are still acting like it's 1994? Fees on fees on fees.

Overdraft fees, monthly fees, probably a breathing near the ATM fee coming soon, which is why QIIME feels like someone finally flipped the script.

Fee-free, smarter banking that's actually built for you. The person trying to make it through life, not the billionaire who keeps a yacht in every time zone.
Chime isn't just another banking app.

They've got tools that genuinely help people like MyPay, where you can get access to up to $500 of your paycheck whenever you need it, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit.

Open your account in minutes at chime.com slash Dan. And now there's the new QIIME card.
Cash back and credit building with your own money together on one card.

No annual fees, no interest, no strengths, and qualifying direct deposits get you 1.5% cash back on eligible purchases. Chime is not just smarter banking.
It is the most rewarding way to bank.

Join the millions who are already banking fee-free today. It just takes a few minutes to sign up.
Head to chime.com slash Dan. That's chime.com/slash Dan.

Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services, secured Chime Visa credit card and my paid line of credit provided by the Bankcore Bank NA or StrideBank NA.

MyPay eligibility requirements apply and credit limit ranges $20 to $500. Optional services and products may have fees or charges.
See chime.com slash fees info.

Advertised annual percentage yield with Chime Plus status only. Otherwise, 1.00% APY applies.
No min balance required.

Chime Card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary.
See chime.com for details and applicable terms. Holidays? Fun.
Holidays as a dad? Tough.

Travel, gifts, matching pajamas. Don't get me started on matching pajamas.
It's hot in Miami. My wife says, why don't you want to do this with us? My daughter's crying.

Anyways, school parties, hosting a family. Next thing I know, I basically put Christmas on my credit card and have no idea what I spent where.

If you want to keep your finances under control this holiday season, you need to be using Monarch, rated Wall Street Journal's best budgeting app at 25.

Monarch's the all-in-one personal finance tool that brings your entire financial life together in one clean interface on your laptop or on your phone.

Right now, just for our listeners, Monarch is offering 50% off your first year a massive deal.

Monarch showed me how fast the holiday budget was disappearing, flights, gifts, late night online shopping, and helped me pump the brakes before the bill hit.

Now my wife and I do quick money check-ins, look at our holiday spending category, and actually enjoy the holidays without starting January and the new year in panic.

Don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code DAN at monarchmoney.com in your browser for half off your first year.

That's 50% off your first year at monarchmoney.com with code DAN. And don't give me those matching pajamas, I swear.

Hey, Amin here, and the NBA on Prime is back tomorrow with another great doubleheader.

The action starts with one of the best rivalries in sports as Luka Doncic and the Los Angeles Lakers face Jalen Brown and the Boston Celtics.

Then Cooper Flag and the Dallas Mavericks meet SGA and the Oklahoma City Thunder. And if you're not a Prime member, that's not a problem.
Sign up for a 30-day free trial to get started today.

The Lakers and Celtics, the Mavericks and Thunder. Coverage starts tomorrow at 6.30 p.m.
Eastern only on Prime. Restrictions apply.
See amazon.com/slash Amazon Prime for details. Don Lebatard.

John, can you rate my Al Pacino from that billiard scene in Carlito's Way if I do it for you? I think it's pretty good. Yeah, okay.
Stugats. You think you're big time?

You're gonna die

big time.

That is

on my infamous scale of one to ten. That's a that's a seven point six.

Solid. Good job.

That's a SUI nominee right there. Good.

This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.

So there's at least two instances here where current players are saying Lane lied to them. This player is named Suntarine Perkins, and he responded to Lane Kiffin's tweet with his statement.

You know, where he's talking about, I wanted to, I'm leaving, but I wanted to coach the team, and, you know, the athletic director wouldn't allow me.

And he responded to that with, that was not the message you said in the meeting room. Everybody that was in there can vouch on this.

And another player, Bryson Sanders, an offensive lineman, he tweeted out to that statement as well, quote, despite the team asking me to keep coaching, end quote.

And he responds with, I think everyone that was in that room would disagree. Right.
So it's a bad look for Kiffin

from every angle. And the other thing about upward mobility, when he's at an FAU, Everybody understands he's taken a step up, he wants out of there,

and they justify it. But oh, Miss, coming off the season they just had, that's pretty much, that's pretty close to the top.

Like, you know, he could have made a career decision saying, I'm where I want to be right now. Look what we've just done.
And he didn't. He's still upwardly mobile, still chasing.

And isn't that what we're all doing at work? And I can see why old Miss players are upset. Yeah, but they're going to feel betrayed just by his leaving.
There's no way for them not to be upset.

Like him leaving.

If we're just talking about James Franklin leaves and takes all his recruits with him, if we're just talking about the coach now matters more than the program, of course they're going to feel betrayed.

Coach, I thought we were in this together. I thought we were all doing this.

I thought the promise was, Coach, if we tried our hardest, you'd help us win the championship. You'd help us win games till the very end.
They're all going to feel betrayed. There's no...

How does he go about

making them not feel betrayed while betraying them?

By not making his decision until after the playoffs.

No, you can't do that you can't because the two teams that you've got the chance with lsu and florida moving off of the job you want yet they can move off of you to another candidate before you make a back channel uh arrangement a whisper deal i'm sure there are plenty of back channel whispering that was going on here national signing day is today

the decision your next job and how successful you're going to be in that upward mobility starts today it's not in a month i don't think the players there are accusing him they are upset that he left and the timing of it.

They're accusing him of lying about what took place in their final meeting. I mean, there was mixed messaging even in those two.
I couldn't really follow.

Lane wanted to stay. This is a fact.

I don't, you want to get into his intentions and not trust him. Lane wanted to stay.
Now, was it for the kids? Was it for a CFP opportunity? Was it for the money? I don't know that.

Like, I'm sure all three of those things happened. But I also understand old Miss saying, get the hell out of here.
Once he leaves, it feels like a lie. Like,

all of it, just him leaving is the lie. Regardless, Charlie Barrens is here.
He's a comedian, best-selling author, and Emmy-winning journalist.

He's bringing his Midwest Nice tour to South Florida this weekend. He is currently on the Lost and Found tour.
So before I get to everything with him, let's bring him in as, you know, a Milwaukee guy.

Giannis,

unfollowing the Bucs on Instagram. Are you prepared? Welcome to the show, Charlie.
It's nice to see you. Are you

prepared for Giannis leaving you? And will Milwaukee be Midwest nice about this?

Oh, you know,

that was just an accident, honestly.

You know, someone just

accidentally went to all those channels and deleted that. I'm pretty sure.
He's going to be there for a while. Yeah, I'm confident in that.
So you guys mark my words right here. All right.

So you're in full-fledged denial right now. You're still thinking.
Yeah, okay, good.

Yep. I've just been stress-eating casseroles ever since.
Uh, but you know, that's okay. That's how we handle things.
How is the tour going? Are you enjoying yourself?

Do you enjoy the grind and travel of the tour? You know, yeah, I've been having fun with it. Um, I like going to different places.
I like getting to the airport early and just watching people run.

That's my favorite thing. It's like the most therapeutic thing for me, just watching people run through the airport.
And there are some fast people out there. That's what you guys got to remember.

This other time, I saw this guy practicing his flute in this little cove

while people were running past him.

I wanted to take a video of it, but I didn't want to disturb the moment. It was beautiful.
It's a good point he brings up. Put it on the poll, please, Juju at Lebatar Show.

Do you enjoy watching people run through the airport in a total? When you're there on time and you just know that they're not, it's great. Yeah.
Yeah. Superior.
You got to be there on time.

Otherwise, it's chaotic. But if you're there on time, it's like sitting at the top of a skyscraper and watching rush hour traffic.
There's something peaceful about it.

But if you're late, it's a whole different story and you just resent everybody looking at you as you're racing to get to your airport.

When is the last time you ran through, have you sprinted through the airport with a badge recently? Two days ago. Yeah, I mean, it's terrible.
I resented everybody looking at me.

But when I'm not doing it, I'm just enjoying the moment. And that's why you should get to the airport early, guys.

Thank you. Put it on the poll at Lebatard show.

Is that why you should get to the airport early, guys? I had not realized until reading about you that you were one of 12 children. That sounds like total chaos.
Oh, yeah. Yep.

No, I grew up mass-produced, and it was a lot of fun, to be honest with you. I mean, the nice thing about when you got that many kids is like you always have someone on your side.

You always have allies and enemies, you know, and it changes by the day,

but you always have someone to go into a fight with you. What number were you? Second oldest.
So two of 12, one of six. That's a good spot.

That's a good spot. You don't want to be like fourth.

You don't want to be fourth because then you got middle child syndrome. You don't want to be first because that's like, that's the guy who gets all the heat.

You know, second, you can kind of slip right under the. They don't even know you're alive, to be honest with you.

And my brother, he got left at his own baptism. He's number three.
So it's not at that point.

But.

Okay, so you're second oldest. So like you were there for most of your siblings arriving.
Did it ever get to a point where your parents told you, hey, you know, pregnant again?

You're like, oh, enough of this shit. Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, we would do it prayer time every night. You know, we would say, this is how my mom would announce it.

She'd go, God bless Andy, Charlie, Billy, Betsy, Maggie, Addie, Mary, Kate, John, and.

And when my mom said, and, me and my siblings were just looking at each other like, how are they still doing it? You know,

where are they finding the time? Is this why we're in CCD? You know,

but yeah, you know, it got to a point, but it's all fun now because now the kids are having kids and Christmas is super fun because you got all these kids around and they'll distract you from your problems real quick, you know, because they'll just run into a room and just headbutt you right in the pecker.

And then you can't think about your own issues, you know? How does this end up working?

Explain to us what is the unknown chaos involved with growing up in a house you say was fun with 12 kids yeah it's fun i mean that well there's first of all you got your own like you we we had like two basketball teams at any given time you know what i mean with subs we have like

a full offensive part of a football i mean we could play any sport you know and um my dad had his own construction crew you know so we we always had work to do we had sports to play uh we had bikes to ride i mean and sometimes you know, someone will bring a bike inside, try to go down the stairs, and then you have entertainment.

So it's like an all-in-one thing. But your family, your family must never have been invited to like other families' houses because, oh, you know, we're inviting the Barons.
You know, they got 12 kids.

Yeah, that's a good call because as soon as we get there, we create a whole other party. I mean, you got to think to a different financial level of food that you got to provide.

So, you know, we were just non-eaters is kind of how how that went. You know, it's like you don't need to feed them, they've been fed.

You know, it's like when you bring your cattle over to, you know, the vets farm and you're like, don't worry, they just got that. That's a terrible analogy, but it just kind of came out.

So it doesn't even make sense. But that's why I got my friends at the farmer.
He's like, the hell was that cattle analogy? I don't know. I was riffing.

But, anyways, we've been fed, is what I'm trying to tell you. Where do you go in America where you feel most like you fit in and least like you fit in as you tour?

And have you done much in South Florida? So, yeah, I mean, speaking of where you least fit in, you guys, Miami Beach, holy smokes, that is way different than South Beach of Lake Michigan.

I'll tell you that much. Yeah, you guys, you guys do it fun down there.
It's great. But yeah, it's a different world.
Although people are very nice, actually. I've noticed that.

So I do like that about that area of the country you're in. But I think maybe

what's that? He said, kick save and a beauty that you said the people were nice.

All of us looked a little confused.

I was actually upset. I was nice to him.
Right by

here, you just sort of you were riffing again, and I thought you were going to make another cattle. I hate that people were nice.

There was someone that was nice to me, but now that I'm now that you guys are acting like that, I'm starting to think that maybe they weren't nice. They told me I had nice driving,

And so maybe they said like, nice driving. And I didn't hear, you know,

I don't know if I can say what I asshole at the end. Okay, you can say asshole.
Yeah, nice driving.

I wasn't sure. I didn't know the rules.
I didn't know if this was on the air. You can say ass, but once you have the hole, it's a whole different story.
So,

anyways, yeah. And there is a lot more, you know, plastic surgery down in that neck of the woods.

And we don't have much of that up in Wisconsin because like, you know, when you live somewhere beautiful, you're like, I want to to live forever.

You know, here we don't get plastic surgery because it's like, you know, honestly, I want to be dead before February. But it's a different kind of, different kind of thing, you know.

But you don't fit in down here, correct? You don't fit in. Is the answer to my question?

It didn't sound like a question. It just sounded like a statement.

So I'm now hip to how you guys speak. And

yeah, I've recanted my earlier phrase. So I don't even know if that word works, but we'll roll with it, you know?

On Fox One, you can stream your favorite live sports so you're there for the biggest moments as they happen.

For me, I cannot deal with spoilers, so I need to see it live, especially on college football Saturdays and NFL Sundays. With Fox One, you get it all.

NASCAR, the MLB postseason, edge of your seat plays, jaw-dropping moments, and that rush like you're right there in the action. Sports are meant to be watched live, and you can do that with Fox One.

Fox One, we live for live, streaming now.

Get nutty with Hampton Farms, the official peanut of bowl season, bringing you the ultimate game day snack.

There's nothing like the roar of the crowd, the thrill of the play, and the satisfying crack of fresh in-shell peanuts.

From the first kickoff to the final whistle, Hampton Farms peanuts keeps your energy high and your taste buds happy. Join the celebration of college football with every delicious crunch.

Purchase for sharing with friends, tailgating outside the stadium, or cheering from the couch. Grab a bag from the produce aisle of your local grocery store and savor the game one peanut at a time.

Thursday night football's on, and it's only on Prime Video. Tonight, the Dallas Cowboys take on the Detroit Lions in a new rivalry with lots of heat.
Coverage begins at 7 p.m.

Eastern with football's best party, TNF. Tonight, not a Prime member? Not a problem.
Simply sign up for a 30-day free trial. It's the Cowboys and the Lions tonight at 7 p.m.

Eastern, only on Prime Video. Restrictions apply.
See amazon.com/slash amazon prime for details

don lebatard what is the worst part of the life stugats

the worst part of the life of what this is the dan lebatar show with the stugats

His new special neighborly is out now. What are you proud of or what do you like? How would you sell that to our audience as something they need to be watching?

Well, it's a lot better than my driving. It is.
And Neighborly, it's all about, we talk about, you know, being from a big family. I go gambling with my grandma.
We got stories about that. And,

you know, it's about life through a Midwest guy's perspective. So I think anyone can relate to it.

There is a little casserole talk in there. I know that'll sell them hard down in the neck of the woods.

But, you know, I think you enjoy it.

We riff on the whole technology situation with, you know, so if you're in, you know, have some thoughts on the whole AI part of the world, we got a little bit on that.

So there's a little bit, something for everyone in there. Well, go ahead and tell us about gambling with your grandmother.
Oh, it's fantastic, you guys. I mean, if you've ever been, first of all,

I take my grandma and her gals down to the casino. And the thing about gambling with those, each one of them has an entire pharmacy in their purse.
All right.

So, I mean, you're ready to have some fun. And you got to be careful driving because if you get pulled over, you got more drugs in that Rev4 than a Motley Crew tour bus.

But when you get them there safely, and then you get to collect, you know, a little pill tax.

And I don't know if you guys have popped a Thursday, but if you pop grandma's Thursday, you're going to get thin blood and minor hallucinations. It's great.
Just be careful.

Okay, don't go popping grandpa's Friday because then you might be walking around the casino with a full deck and that's not that's not preferred.

But anyways, yeah, no, it's fun, but gambling with your grandma, I mean, it's hard to find them. You know, if you try to find a senior citizen in a casino, good luck.

I mean, they hide in the lights and

they only find you if they want to be found. So, no, but we go on a pretty regular basis.
She calls me up and, you know, we got to go to the casino.

On the way back, we take our winnings and we put it in the power ball. So it's part of a larger investment portfolio that we have here.
Do you believe your grandma has a gambling problem?

Well, she doesn't say it's a problem at all

because

she's using other people's money.

And if you're investing other people's money, it's not a problem. Like I said, it's part of an overall investment strategy.
Unfortunately, the other person's money is mine.

And so I really need people to buy tickets when I come into town, you guys. I am in financial ruin, but I would appreciate that.

You can get tour dates and tickets by going to charliebarons.com. And I did mention, but I didn't say where, right? Parker Playhouse in Fort Lauderdale tomorrow night and Tampa Theater, December 5th.

The special is neighborly. It is out now.
And the YouTube channel is at Charlie Barron's. I'd like for you to rank for me these exclamations, if you don't mind, from the Midwest.

However it is that you think the nastiest of the exclamations is versus the least nasty. So we will start with the nastiest, and I'll just give you seven of them.
Are you ready? I'm ready.

For crying out loud, holy smokes. I don't know if you have a pen there, a hotel pen, because I'm going to give you a bunch of these.

I'm going to put you to work here. Yes.

For crying out loud, holy smokes, hold your horses, heavens to Betsy. Okay, like all right, how's he supposed to write it down?

Them down, and then

go even faster. This is crazy.

I'm at heavens to Betsy.

He's a comedian, he's professionally fast. Clearly typing.

Oh, my word,

for Pete's sake, or for heaven's sake. You can rank these however you want.
I'll give them to you again in a different order this time, just to confuse you more.

Yes, for heaven's sake, for Pete's sake, oh my word, heavens to Betsy, hold your horses, holy smokes, for crying out loud. Okay, fantastic.

All right, so I'm going to, most of these, if they're said with anger, they're coming from the Midwest dad, his point of view.

So, you know, you got to kind of get in that phrase. So let me just try a couple of these on for size.
For crying out loud. Get your ass down.
Okay, I feel like I got it. I got the tenor.

Okay, so we're going with,

do we start? Is one like the most pissed pissed off? Actually, we'll give you fanfare so that we can get to the most pissed off. And thank you for playing along.
So start with the least.

This is the least angry a Midwest person is if they exclaim this at you.

Okay, it's going, oh my word. Jeez.

Did I win? Well, that's...

I'm going to lay out the fanfare. Just do your list.
Okay, no, I like that though. Oh, my word.

Okay.

Heavens to Betsy. hold.

Uh,

uh, okay, this one gets tough. This one gets tough.
Uh, for heaven's sakes, for Pete's sakes, hold your horses. Holy smokes.
Holy smokes should have been lower. I screwed the pooch on that one.

Don't worry about it. And then, uh, for crying out loud, uh, but for crying out loud, that's a lead up.
That's an introductory clause.

And you're about to, yeah, that, that's like a, uh, that's like a one-two punch. You know, know, that's the jab before the cross, all right? Yeah, they go together.

You got to put it, yeah, you're right. Yeah.

Yeah, but I think that's where I would do it. That's where I would do it.
Congratulations. It's a hell of a list.
I thank you for playing along because I made that more difficult than it had to be.

I can be awkward that way. No, that's okay.
I think I made it more difficult too. And in that way, we relate and can connect.
And, you know, it's good we could connect over something here.

And I'm sorry I got the niceness wrong on it,

but

we figured it out. See, I just made that awkward too.
Look, connection. Everybody likes you, don't they?

Well, I don't know.

You're talking like my therapist right now. What's the next thing?

But I think likability is a part of your comedic charm, right?

There is a skill involved to being a stand-up comedian that people root for that people just simply like. And so you've gotten very good at it.
Yeah, no, I do appreciate that. Yeah,

I think I hope people like me. You know, I need that in my life, actually.
That's part of being a people pleaser. We could talk all about that too.
Actually, that's part of part of the bit.

I won't go into it now.

People be surprised, but yeah, yeah, I need people to like me. I love that.
What's the toughest part of the life?

Needing everyone to like you. Yeah, that's terrible, you guys.
You walk around, you're like, who even am I? I don't know. Can I hold this door open for you?

I know you're 50 feet away, but that's okay.

I know you don't even want me to hold this door door for you, but I'm going to keep holding it for you.

Aside for that, the travel. Yeah.

What are the what are the greatest perils involved with needing to be a people pleaser?

Oh my gosh. Yeah.
You kind of just find yourself doing very odd things. You know, you're like, oh, no, I'm not allergic to that.
I got an Epi pen in my bag.

I mean, I've gone to the hospital four different times, you guys, because I just couldn't pass up the peanuts, you know.

But

it turns out they had trail mix too but I didn't want them to feel like they weren't good peanuts you know and

that's a word you really gotta enunciate properly okay it is

yeah you're bad otherwise you find yourself in a much weirder people pleasing situation and

yeah

so you're bad at no are you bad do you find you you have some difficulty with just saying to people no Can't say no. No.

I know. Just saying it there, I mean, it gave me a panic.
I got to say, if anything, yeah, no.

So, like, there's a little like,

I might still do it, you know? Like, I'd be like, yeah, no, no, yeah, no. You kind of just riff it until you see their eyes light up and you're like, I'm going to go with that answer.

He clearly can't with all the follow-up stands outside. Charlie, you might as well just cry for us because he's not going to stop till you start crying.
What do you mean? No, I love it.

What about you? I love it. I mean, first of all, he doesn't know a guy from the Midwest.
We haven't cried since the 80s when we were babies, man. Okay.
We don't know what emotion is.

We just shove it deep, deep down inside and then we go bowling. That's where

CharlieBarons.com is where you go for tour dates and tickets. The Lost and Found tour.
You can see it live. Again, his YouTube channel at Charlie Barrons.
Appreciate the time, Charlie.

Thank you for stopping in. Unfortunate that I was not able to make you cry.
for the first time since the 80s. I appreciate your repressions, though.
Thank you. I appreciate you appreciating that.

And you guys watch for deer. All right.
They pop out of nowhere. Are you going to leave now and continue to regret that cattle reference? Yeah, I'm still regretting it.
Thanks for bringing it back up.

But I like that we're lingering. I'm comfortable here, too.
This is the long Midwest goodbye. So

I'm about to go get you a casserole, another casserole reference. I do have a quarter cow in my fridge, so I'd be happy to say, I got some backstraps from a deer I got.

But anyways, yeah, I'm lingering a little too long. I can feel it.
I see your hands on your cheeks. No, he said you sold it.
You sold it. So take it there.
He's going to see your show.

He just whispered to me while you were talking. I've never related to someone more in my life.
Oh, the people pleasing, Charlie. I'll be there.
I can't wait to see you tomorrow.

And where are you from? I live five minutes from where you're going to be performing at Parker Playhouse. See, it's too close within the people-pleasing distance.

You're like, well, I might as well that's exactly right no that's exactly right i'm like oh i could ride my bike over there that's perfect yeah and and uh you say save the environment look at that another people pleasing thing this guy gets it this guy gets it

we got it man yeah we don't know who we are but everyone else doesn't either yeah that's right i i people used to like me too until i joined this show You know, that's that. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to hear that, but you got a great Henley on you. Thank you very much.
I appreciate that. No one ever liked it, Jeremy.
What are you talking about?

Yeah. The lingering continues.
Thank you. Thank you, Charlie.
Good seeing you. Okay.
I see you. Charlie, you're marking up what you're putting down.
We'll see you guys. Be good now.
Nice driving.

Nice driving. Nice driving.
Good. Thank you.
Thank you. Say hello to the family.

Get closer to the mic. Good job, Dad.

Greg, I did want to ask you if you had any thoughts about the unceremonious in the middle of the night dispensing of Chris Paul that the Clippers did, because

I don't think this is the way that epic retirement tours are supposed to go at the end.

You're with the Clippers. You've won four or five games this season.
It's an old, terrible team. He was great last year.

Chris Paul was not good. He was great last year at an advanced age.
And in the middle of the night, the Clippers just sent him home. There has to be more to that story.

It's too terrible to imagine the mistreatment of an all-time great player, and something must have happened in the background that hasn't been reported yet. That's the only thing I can think of.

There are only two people in that sport that I can think of that have a really wonderful public image in terms of how they behave, but behind the scenes, people complain about some of their behavior, and it's Chris Paul and Doc Rivers.

Those are the two guys that have a very different public image than the one that some people have opinions about in private. I mean, they sent, he's on a retirement tour.
All right.

He announced that he's retiring a week ago and they sent him home late at night while on an East Coast road trip and they didn't waive him they didn't trade him they actually sent him home so I mean I don't know if we'll ever find out I hope that we do but it's pretty obvious they didn't just do it on a whim.

Like something happened. Maybe it's, hey, you know, there's a reason why we only have five wins this year, Tylu.
You suck as a coach. Or once again, he doesn't get along with James Harden.

He didn't get along with them at the end of their Houston time. There's There's something.

Time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless.

Here is something we like to call reckless speculation.

You're good. It's very obvious that something happened.
He's not just some innocent dude who's sitting around. Hey, hey, Chris, we're sending you home.
What? But what does that even mean, though?

Sent him home. Like, they haven't cut it.

Now is a good time to remember where Tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila.
Cuervo. What are you doing here? Cuervo.
Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

Well, I do know that to be true, but even during ad reads, like Cuervo, I think it could lay out, especially for one of our great partners. Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.
Cuervo. So, enjoy the tequila that started it all.
Cuervo. Cuervo.
The tequila that invented tequila.

Proximo, Quervo.com. Please drink responsibly.
Cuervo.