Hour 1: The Poop Picker Uppers

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This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stu Gats Podcast.

It is a Greg Cody Tuesday. Do you have a back in my day, Greg? I happen not to today.

I sure wanted to, but I had a deadline for the book I'm writing. Too busy missing PFBI deadlines? I had to get the last chapter in the last couple of days, so I didn't have time to

sex and the animals with Ron McGill. I don't understand why it is that you have just simply quit on this,

which was part of your job, a job that you are paid for. It is the one thing that we consistently ask you to do around here.
We don't consistently ask you to do anything else. Why can't you do it?

And you've just stopped doing it. Yeah.
I mean, you know, people change.

People evolve.

Sometimes someone but you're telling Abdul Carter to come do his job professionally, to just do the thing that he has to do.

And you're saying be accountable while your son accused you of a lack of accountability on PFPI, and you're clearly lacking accountability here when you're the only one responsible for doing this as part of your only job assignment around here.

Well, first of all, it's not my only job assignment.

Let me ask you this. Do I have any say in whether or not I want to continue doing back in my days? I mean, clearly.
Apparently not.

No, but clearly, you've stopped doing it, but you didn't make an announcement that you were stopping doing it.

And in fact, didn't you promise? You said there was one being worked on for some reason. Yeah, there's a couple in the hopper.
Yeah.

We may. You have all the say on this.
You've been doing it your way the entire time. Did you adjust your contract since you didn't want to do it? He's getting paid more.

I'm in here twice a week. Nothing in my contract says I have to do, you know,

I'm doing songs for this show. I'm doing songs for this show.
Just

this show was introduced with the football song we did. The interesting part is

it does seem as the back of my days have gone away from this show, gripes of wrath have kind of gone into the Greg Cody show.

It is true that on the Gregory. Where he writes out complaining about things.
It is true that on the Greg Cody show we have a segment called Gripes of Wrath.

I believe it was poop picker-uppers this week. Yeah, they're all frauds.

If I see somebody walking around my neighborhood with a dog on a leash with one of those little plastic bags, pretending that if his dog craps on my lawn, he's going to pick up that poop.

He knows he isn't. I know he isn't.

That's a blasphemous allegation. If you're carrying around the bag of poop, you're going to pull it.
Well, why carry around the bag then? Because you're doing it for some.

I'm with some people do the fake pickup. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. I'm in the honeymoon.
What does that mean? Like, they put their hand down and they just pick up ground.

You just kind of do the look around in particular. Like, in case anyone's happening to be looking at me here, I'm in my honeymoon stage with my dog, so I'm picking up all the poop.

Check back in a year, maybe I'll be different, but right now, all the poop. You got to pick up all the poop.
I made that mistake. I didn't know it at the first time.

The first time I owned a dog, I did not know.

You were supposed to do that. You don't pick up the poop? Nope.

I don't know. Do you have a dog? I got two dogs.
I don't pick up my poop either. You don't pick up the poop.
Well, you don't walk your dog. It's just in your backyard.
You don't pick up the poop?

You've got, no, it's. No, it's not.
It's the opposite. I'm disappointed to hear that because I kind of like you.
That's bad. It is.

Wait a minute. Yeah, I'm bothered to hear that.
Both things

can be true. It is indeed literally fertilizer, but it's not something anybody wants in their lawn.

Oh, no, I don't let my dogs poop in someone else's lawn. But this is what they're doing.
This is what they're talking about. Talking about on walk.
No, that's lame as hell. Oh, okay.
No, no, no, no.

People do that, though. Yeah, that's lame as hell.

Like, I let my dogs in my backyard, but if I do take them on the leash and I walk them, like, around the lake in the grass where no one lives, and I do not pick that up.

I would never allow my dogs to poop on someone's lawn and not pick up. That's awful.
But even common ground, some people would call that still a jerk. I'm not picking up common ground.

I'm not doing that. No.

People walk around with fake poop in their bags.

You get that. You're making that up.

That's nothing free. He says that.
There's toys poop in those bags just to appear like you have something in the bag so that people drive by and say, oh, look at that guy. If you picked up the poor.

And the more of this coverage, the Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody is where you can get it.

And here's something else I expose in the latest episode of the Greg Cody Show because this man, my son, is a fraud.

Chris Cody has just recently engaged a company and pays them every week to pick up his dog's

backyard. From his backyard.
I want some details on that. 15 bucks.
Whoa. They come twice a week, and now I don't have to worry about stepping and pooping my backyard.
I want that.

I'll send you the link. Yeah.
Sad. Yeah, right, Sad.
That's a great business.

Next thing, you're going to pay somebody to wipe your ass for you. How much would it cost?

You said that on the Greg Cody show, by the way. You got to take responsibility.
Can I get some fresh material out of you here?

Like, how is it that you're doing all the work that you do for the podcast that we help you with, and you do a lesser version of the work here? Right.

Right. Right.

What's your point?

I don't get it. What's your point? Confirming the accusation.
Mike Ryan, do you have your top five list

of Santa-looking coaches who, is this just football or is this all of

spots? Okay, is it ready? It's ready to go. It's ready to go, fully baked.
All right. Fully baked.
Fully baked. Okay.
I still don't understand the accusation that Greg is making, by the way.

You're saying that people are going to the effort of buying fake poop, putting it in their bag. He's projecting what he would do.
It's one of the dumbest accusations I've ever heard.

No, because I believe that.

Have you ever seen anyone doing it? Like you just saying, I believe that.

You think there are people driving around and they're actually peering to see if there's poop in the bag that's being held by that person on the streets. Dog walkers want to appear.

The bag is nothing but a prop. Dog walkers want to appear as if they're doing the right thing by picking up after the dog.

My contention is that most of them do not, particularly when they look around and they don't see any neighbors looking at them. I learned it in an embarrassing fashion.

I've told you guys the story before. The way that I learned this is I was yelled at by my neighbor, former Dolphins tight end Jed Weaver.
Oh, what a name.

That's what happened. Solid hand.
Wow.

What did he say, Jed? He got mad. He got mad at me.
The dog pooped in his lawn? Yeah, but I did. Yes.
Do you need a three-yard reception? I thought.

See, if you had that fake bag with a toy poop in it, you could have showed it to him. No, there still would have been the poop in his yard.

But he couldn't prove it was yours. Was he going to run a DNA test? Can't prove it's yours.

Oh, well, I. Where's Roy? Tom Moore.
I'm right here.

Vanfir. Vanfir.

Vanfir.

That's Santa.

Look at Tom Moore. His face has not moved in 30 years of football.
That's a happy man. Off-season Santa, for sure.
But, I mean, picture a big, fluffy white beard on him. No, that's not.
That's Santa.

That's a clinically depressed Santa. Honestly, I don't lugage under his eyes.
I just wanted to throw up a photo of Tom Moore. But he does look like Santa.
You're right.

Number five, Bob Wiley.

Flumer Browns offensive line coach, famous for going

and his tummy moving. I mean, look at that guy.
That's pretty cool. That's a pretty

number five. It's a mustache guy, though.
That's also a guy you don't want to really fight because I'm guessing he's got a lot of gray hair on his shoulders as well. His beard's on his chest.

Look at that. That chest.
That chest hair. Good God.
Wild. Zadlow.
High armpits. That is a great line by Zadzlo.
His beard is on his chest.

That is absolutely a beard that has fallen from his face and is just a tuft of hair. High armpit sweat.

I think he had a great wartime quote, too. Jeremy, get on that.
Number four, it can't all just be chubby white guys. Pop.

Late stage pop. You know about that COVID pop? Look at that.
Look at that hair.

Number three: Howard Schnellenberger.

Oh, Jesus. What the hell is that? Are you a photo choice?

Not really sure what happened in the processing. Take my word for it.
She's wearing a red jacket, which would have been really helpful there.

All right.

Okay. Number two.
We're going to spell this Santa with two ways. Rob Ryan.

It's a good list. And number one, this one's easy.
Lovey Smith.

It's a good list. I salute you.

I want to get to some video here. We have the Bob Wiley quote.

Did you know World War I and World War II, all those guys that fought in that war, they did push-ups, jumping jacks, sit-ups, climbed the rope, and ran? None of this fancy shit.

And they won two World Wars. Do you think they were worried when they were running across Normandy about bleeping, stretching? It's a good quote.
You ain't wrong. Football guy.

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Don Lebatard. You don't remember the idea? I was probably like, that kind of thing.
Something. Okay, no.
The home run call was that kind of swing? That kind of thing. Stugats.
Oh.

It's a good call. Thank you.

And plus, it doesn't matter who's hitting it. Like, you're not tailoring it to a particular name.
You know, all that jazz. You know, you don't got to do that.
You just have to do that.

Oh, that would be a great call. Oh, that's a good one.
That kind of swing. That kind of thing.
This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stewarts.

Speaking of which, there are a a couple of coaches here who are getting attention, and I want to cover some of this as I see Jim Mora being resurrected at Colorado State because I think some of the stuff happening around this coaching stuff is the worst kind of hope trafficking, where we just want to believe so badly that some leader knows how to leader better than other leaders that we just get super excited and crazy about Lane Kiffin, for example.

So, Lane Kiffin is getting an assortment of perks as part of his contract. And all that happened here, as far as I can tell, is that LSU wanted something that Florida thought it had.

And so LSU, which has already made this mistake with Brian Kelly, is in the middle of fighting publicly. That's over now.
Brian Kelly's going to get his money.

But they fought and squabbled over whether Brian Kelly deserves his money after you'd think LSU already learned about this false profit bullshit that we're doing all the time with leadership.

But Lane Kiffen's perks are among the following: 65 hours of private jet time per year. Do you understand? Like, that's he can take 20, 30 trips with that kind of jet time.
That is a lot of jet time.

Or like 15 trips. Courtesy, well, it depends on how long they are, but he's also got private first-class flying for just recruiting.

So these are just family trips because he's got family and guest travel. He's got suites priority tickets.
He's got courtesy vehicles, plural. What are you laughing about, Mike?

Is that every coach at this point? Well, no, he's got...

Look, he's got, because of the way that he was coveted and because of the way he played this, I know a lot of people are angry about this. I saw

Bill Cower howling about this on CBS. A lot of people are mad at Lane Kiffen for maximizing his leverage because of how he was coveted.
He just got himself not just a contract.

that is spectacular, but a contract that guarantees him that it's going to keep being spectacular if someone else gets paid more than him, or LSU is going to pay him for what would have been his bonuses if he had gotten

deeper into the playoffs with Mississippi. That's my favorite.
So Lane Kiffin is actually still rooting for Ole Miss's success right now while he is still, while he is the head coach at LSU.

And if Ole Miss is successful, LSU has to pay their current coach. It's wild.

It's one of the wildest incentive clauses I've ever seen. Do you remember, you remember, well, it was, I think, the very end of October, right?

Where you had the clown governor, Governor Landry, the governor of

Louisiana. Yes, of Louisiana, and going over the whole spiel about how, you know, Scott Woodward, the then athletic director.
Well, let's play the sound.

Let's play the sound.

We were introduced to this governor because he was complaining about Brian Kelly, wanted Brian Kelly gone, and was complaining about the idea of doing this hope trafficking with heroes.

These big name coaches, they're big names because they win. What are they afraid of? Right? If you're the best, you shouldn't have to worry.
You say, guess what? I'm putting my reputation on the line.

And when I win, this is how much money I want. There's no guarantee.
This sets it in the way the contracts are structured now.

Tells the guy, listen, you know, in five years, he might get tired of doing it.

He's like, he doesn't have to worry about coaching because he's like, look, as long as I kind of go through the motions, I get another five years at $10 million a year. That's not a bad gig, Pat.

If y'all boys over there are giving great great entertainment to espn and we don't get to we don't enjoy watching you know which we absolutely do guess what happens you lose sponsors that's the free market so they weren't going to give out they there was no way that lsu was going to give out the state of louisiana was not going to allow another contract like brian kelly just got and what winds up happening they do the exact same thing for lane given and more paying him the bonuses for what another school does his potential buyout one day is more than what Brian Kelly's would be.

And there's no offset language of any kind that if they do fire him, that he has to go out and, you know, in good faith, look for another job. This governor turned out to be a clown.
Give me a break.

A politician lying? No way. Why do governors get involved in sports now? Hey, governor, you got a whole state to run.
They're state employees.

It doesn't matter. They shouldn't get involved in their teams.
They're state employees. He's the highest paid employee in the state.
I understand governors are employees of state colleges. No, no, no.

Not the governor.

Lane Kiffin is the highest paid employee in the state. Right.
I get it. Right.
Like, if the boosters weren't going to pay the buyout for Brian Kelly, the state, the taxpayers would be on the hook.

Most governors don't exactly seize the opportunity to be front-facing here, but they have a ton of influence. They approve budgets.
They approve boards.

Like, Ron DeSantis, his fingerprints are all over state schools in the college football system. I don't think that's right.
I think there's too much going on in a state for them to demean the offense.

Oh, you don't think it's right that they do that? Because it is accurate. Right.
All right. Yes.
I don't think it's right they do that. He gained a lot of political points by doing that.

That's an easy winner for

to simply rip Brian Kelly, but then they do the same thing and more. His mortgage meant nothing.
This is the best contract in the sport because it guarantees that.

Look, Lane Kiffen had such leverage, and I do believe a lot of this is stupid okay because i just saw jim mora jr resurrected for colorado state you got to stop doing this to jim mora like back-to-back nine-win seasons at uconn like he's doing it the hard way did you see his quarterback stats 28 and one

I am doing it to Jim Mora just because we can recycle every Matt Naggy that's out there. Like we can do it.
It's hard to win nine games at UConn. We can agreed.
UConn is better than they've been.

I'm only doing it to Jim Mora Jr. because we've already seen this fail and now we're going to see it polished up.
And it doesn't mean that Lane Kiffin can't learn from previous mistakes.

Obviously, Kenny, he was a very young coach, but he's failed every single time. He's had expectations.
Every time. And now it has this contract because he's the guy that's available.

And all you need is two fighting over him. And then the ego gets involved.

Because when Florida thinks they have someone and LSU thinks that they're a better program, all of a sudden you've got exactly what you you need in order to negotiate a real sweetheart deal from a governor and a constituency that just got burned by this.

I would buck up against that he's failed to deliver on expectations. I think he was there at Tennessee for one year.
They were obviously pissed to see him go. He failed to deliver at USC.

No doubt he got fired on the tarmac there. And the Raiders.

But FAU surpassed expectations.

I think they all missed as having their greatest run in program history. No, but those expectations weren't real.
And bring Lane over. Like he surpassed their expectations.
Agreed.

He made FAU the top of that conference.

But there were no expectations when he took the job that actually FAU and Mississippi would be in 10-win territory. So of course he's exceeding low expectations.

When he's had high expectations, he has not met them.

That's been his history. It doesn't mean he can't learn.
And this isn't actually disparagement of Lane.

I'm just putting in front of you the facts and what it is that that happens when you start sprinkling oh we need the guy who appears to have more leadership knowledge than the other guy so let me go let me go over here to this sum roll because he gets off a plane giving great coach i like this guy well of course this i like him so mike told you yesterday this guy is being uh paid half of what lane kiffin was offered by florida he's thrilled to have the job but let's show him getting off the plane here because he's showing exactly the kind of confidence when the coach is being introduced and you're getting your first optic.

I love this. He's getting off the plane and climbing the stairs.
Look at him. Look at him.
Of course, a private jet.

At the same time, the Gator chomp while walking down some difficult private jet stairs. Yep.

This is a good look. This is a good start.
I know that everyone wants him fired already. This is a good start.
It couldn't start better than this.

He's coming down the stairs while also doing the Gator chomp. Tough to do.
And doing so at a discount half as much as Lane Kiffin.

And so this is what they sell you when they can't get lane kiffin hey we lost on lane but what we've got is a coach who can indeed climb down the stairs while doing the gator chomp with his i even think lane waits to get to the bottom of the stairs before doing the chomp like he walks down and then chomps just that simultaneously that's dangerous it's confident just you you're confident in your athletic ability and your general synchronicity of function well there's no coming back if like even if you you don't even have to fall you don't have to trip if you slip a little bit there's no coming back.

Imagine that look. Oh,

it wasn't a great chomp. I got to be the guy to say it.
The chomp was a little low. Let me see it again.

I also think he was cheating by looking down at the stairs because I think he was, and I don't blame him. I don't see any look.
One look. It's a lopsided chomp.
A couple looks. Oh, come on.
All right.

He's a look. He's all looks.
Yeah. He's going like this.
Well, he knows.

He knows he can't fall in that moment. I feel like one look and you're good.
They're all the same difficulty. Do you think he thought of that before they swung the doors open?

Like, he thought of that. No, it could be a a little jarring when the plain, you know, stairs come out.
They're not your usual stairs. They could be a little bit thin, you know?

Can we see Lane walking downstairs? Do we have any shot of Lane walking down a play? Because I got to compare and contrast. I bet you he just hops on

the railing and stays down. Oh, see, this is

no LSU signal going down whatever. That's a good descent, though.
That's a manly descent. What? Yeah.
No,

he descended the stairs. He didn't touch the railing.
Better than Pat's. I will say, Lane Kiffin did not.
Pat Summerall.

John Summerall. I know that.
I was making a joke about a 95-year-old former broadcaster. While running Edibra.

John Summerall revealed at his press conference that Lane told him to take the Florida job and co-signed it.

For half as much money? Did he tell him that

they're offering you half as much as they offered me?

How do you guys say Marcus Mariota? Have you heard it?

Have you heard it said any other way ever? That's the way I've always heard it.

Have you ever heard Marcus Mariota said any other way other than the way that I'm saying it? I have not.

It's the way Mike Torico also said it. Marcus Mariota.
Mariota. Oh, I've heard Mariota now that you mention it.
But I would say Mario, it's more of just like the T sound.

This is how it's commonly said. Marcus Mariota.
Yeah. I've heard that.
And then the internet was going after Chris Collinsworth because he says it. Marcus Mariota.

Marcus Mariota.

And the internet was just like, this can't be right. And then, but they replayed.
That's not how you say it. On NBC's broadcast, they do the starting lineups where the players say their name.

So you hear Mariota now saying his name. Marcus Mariota.
No, he's saying it wrong. Yeah.

It seems like Collinsworth is right. No, Marcus doesn't know how to say his own name.
Marcus Mariota. Hey, he's saying it wrong.
Yeah. What? Yeah.

He got caught up in the air. He is saying it wrong.
Marcus Mariota. I mean, Travis Kelsey is Travis Kelse, but he's pronouncing it Kelsey because everybody else does.
Doesn't even know his own name.

It's like saying Toronto in Toronto. Ah.
It's exactly like that.

Which is right. He said it Toronto.
The same way both times, right? Marcus Mariota. Nah, that's not how you say it.
No, no. Marcus Mariota.

That goes wrong. That's all I'm going to say from now on.
Mariota. I can't shake Andy Reed tickling tonsils.

It was graphic. It was lecherous.
We're going to try to tickle your tonsils on every

play. The little chuckle there.
It's all of it. It's not.
Does he see reaction? It's all crazy. You wake up in a dark, damp room.
You're chained to a wall, and you hear this disembodied voice.

We're going to try to tickle your tonsils on every

play, every game. Saw five.

I'm begging for death.

We're going to try to tickle your tonsils.

His voice is dragging through gravel. It is how it is.
It is how it sounds. Tickle your tonsils on every

play. I didn't know what it meant at first, but now that I do know, I don't like it.
I know that a lot of people listening to this are bothered over the years, and I get it, that

my tone can be strident and

know it all, okay? I know that I am guilty of this, but there are a handful of things that I am really, really wrong about. And one of them is the entirety of Dylan Brooks.

I don't know if you guys saw this game last night where he is taunting LeBron James. He's been calling him old for a while.

When Memphis got rid of Dylan Brooks, I thought he wouldn't play in the NBA again. I thought it was laughable that Houston gave him $80 million.
I was surprised how good Houston is.

Last night, without Devin Booker, with Dylan Brooks going for 30-something points, Dylan Brooks is making Phoenix be a good team, better than I thought they were.

Dylan Brooks is a lot better as a basketball player than I ever thought he was at Memphis.

I know there's no real way to, you're right, and I know there's no real way to actually quantify this, but

Dylan Brooks is a good player. And what I mean by that is this is a guy who now three teams have,

they were terrible franchises, were in a terrible spot, and he has helped them get to a different kind of culture, like a winning kind of culture.

And like I said, you can't really quantify that, but Memphis was bad. He was there the only time they were good.
They're terrible now. He went to a bad Houston team.

And I know they have Durant now, but before that, he helped them get back on track. They traded him in the Durant deal.
Phoenix, terrible. And now Phoenix, Phoenix is good.
They're 13 and 9.

Like, Dylan Brooks is clearly a good piece for a winning team. On Fox One, you can stream your favorite live sports so you're there for the biggest moments as they happen.

For me, I cannot deal with spoilers, so I need to see it live, especially on college football Saturdays and NFL Sundays. With Fox One, you get it all.

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It's the holiday season. Fantasy football probably not going your way like most of America.
Your football team, hopefully you're still in the mix.

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Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly.

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Dan Lebatard. A woman who was out swimming with her friends is believed to have been swallowed whole by a 13-foot shark without any of her friends noticing.

That's the weirdest part about that story. You're swimming with friends, you're having a good time, and then all of a sudden, people are looking around and go, where's Shelly?

Like, nobody screamed. Every friend.
Every friend group has a Shelly, though, that if they go missing because a shark ate them whole, you wouldn't notice. Classic Shelly.
Exactly right.

Stugats. She went quietly, apparently.
If I'm I'm swallowed whole by a shark, you're going to know it. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Let me explain to you how mismanaged the Phoenix Suns have been, because Ishbia has been a disaster, okay? In 23 months, it's three coaches he owes $85 million, okay?

That's 23 months, three coaches, $85 million.

They pay Beale $19 million a year through 2030. They're going to pay Bradley Peale to play for the Clippers.
Counting against his cap each of those years. Yes, $19 million a year.

They've got the highest payroll in the league and they don't control any of their picks through 2031. They are a disaster.
Like that trade for Kevin Durant could not have been worse.

Everything they built there, highest payroll in the league. It's not good enough to try and fix that with Dylan Brooks.

But when Devin Booker went out last night, Dylan Brooks continues to remind LeBron that he's old and LeBron barely got to 10 points last night.

LeBron still got that streak where he goes double digits every game and he barely got to 10 points and the chase down that he always does, you could hear Brooks screaming in the arena.

It got so quiet because LeBron couldn't chase him down.

The idea that I'm watching Dylan Brooks beat, I understand that LeBron is the oldest player in the league, but then I'm watching the taunts and then I'm getting, Dylan Brooks gets to beat LeBron and gets the last laugh with LeBron.

Like, that's just not something I ever saw coming. You saw how it went down with LeBron to reach the streak.
You know, Greg, he's got this, I mean, it's forever where he reaches double figures.

I mean, they're getting smoked in the fourth. They're down like 26.
LeBron's stuck on seven points. Right.

He hits a three with six minutes left in the game. They immediately take him out after that.
I mean, they're getting smoked. And Dylan Brooks is posting up his son as well, like late in the game.

Like, he was just taunting everything. He is such a good villain.
I don't know that, does that sport right now have a better villain? You got Draymond Green, you got Draymond Green.

Do you have something who's in someone who's embracing the villainous role better than Dylan Brooks?

I will say this about Dylan Brooks: the gall of that man, and I'm speaking from the broad view, obviously, the gall of Dylan Brooks, who's never made an all-star team.

He's a 30-year-old journeyman criticizing LeBron James, the gall.

he's a good player

he's a good player he's a he's a good player and he's a better villain he's having a great year he's a good player

that's tony's music that's right dan it's tony's top five and it's presented by smirnoff the official vodka sponsor of the national football league smirnoff please drink responsibly the smirnoff company new New York, New York, 40% alcohol by volume.

How many OLI we got, Toning?

No OLI, Dan. We're going straight top five today.
I'm at the Dade County Courthouse, a staple here. Somewhere else we can get out of top five.

No, this is public land. I pay for this.
This is public. I pay for this building right here.
I pay for it.

Everybody pays for this right here. So I can videotape here as much as I want.
Number five.

Number five, would there really be a difference between me and and Max Brosmer this weekend? 19 of 30, 126 yards, four picks, four sacks, and a QBR of 5.6.

Yes, you would have been worse.

I thought to myself yesterday, okay, I thought to myself, when Young Wei Ku is kicking the ground and I see what I think is the greatest panic situation you ever see in football, which is the holder just running and no one's out in a pass pattern.

I thought to myself, that's the most panic that a player ever feels on a field, except for Max Brosmer. Will Levis did that last year, right?

Yeah.

The sheer panic

of Max Brosmer or Brosmer? Is it Brosmer? Okay, who cares? Fair enough. Number four.

Number four, Dave Canalis, Dano. He's got the wherewithal.

What does that mean?

He's right there. Look at him.
Seven and six. What does that mean? Check that out.

That's a wherewithal right there. Last year we talked...

Exactly. Last year we talked about can Dave Canalis have the wherewithal to stick with Bryce Young to make this Panthers team interesting? And then all of a sudden this year

you counted him as dead. Now they're seven and six a game back in the loss column from the Bucs and the AFs in the NFC South.
Like anything could happen. He's got the wherewithal.

Best Adams Apple in the entire league.

Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Does Canalis have the best Adams apple in the entire league? Number three.

Number three, three Dan hold on I'm gonna need to take something out here real quick a prop you know who has won their last four games with an average margin of victory of 27 and a half points Dan

I do not

oh you don't okay hold on that's impressive

give me a second give me a second oh yeah

oh the Miami hurricanes Dan

the Miami hurricanes are you quantum last last four games average margin of victory 27 and a half points I thought we were doing NFL teams I'll keep this on.

But I thought you were asking me about an NFL team. I didn't know you were asking me about a college team.
You never put college observations in here.

All I said is football. I said, you know, football team who's won the last four, average margin of victory, 27 and a half points.
Miami Hurricanes.

I'll draft picks coming up. Number two.
Exactly right. Thank you, Greg.
You're welcome. Number two, you know who hasn't passed the smell test?

OU. More like PU.
Oklahoma, please. Are you kidding me? Oklahoma, they can't score on anybody.
And all of a sudden, they're going to be inside of

the top 12 as a college football playoff team? For what? They stink. OU sucks.
PU, Dan.

How did this become college observations? Number one.

Number one, Dan, if the canes are left out of the CFP at playoff, we're taking the fight all the way up to the Supreme Court, which is why I'm here at the Dade County Courthouse right now.

I'm going to go inside and make sure everybody knows if there's any college football playoff voters in there.

I'm going to let them know that this is a travesty, and we're going to take this thing to the Supreme Court, Dan.

I've been sent here by the Department of War for the University of Miami, and I'm not going to leave until we make things right, okay?

I would like to see by the end of the show you having gathered a crowd of protesters trying to attack justice and democracy on behalf of the University of Miami.

Just pointing out James Madison, 28.25 points per game is the

version of victory over the last four years. That's impressive when you consider it.
That also includes their four-point squeaker against Wazoo.

Don't you forget, you know, just trying to score a lead against Virginia Tech. Dominion.
Thank you, Tony. We appreciate all of your work.
Appreciate you changing your top five from NFL observations.

The last three outrage about this injustice around the University of Miami. I think you speak for the entirety of the city.
I do not know if Mario Cristobal is going to join the show.

I am offended that I am being told I do not know ball, and that is the reason that that Mario Cristobal will not come on the show because I don't know ball. Yeah, words out there.

I will remain offended by this. I think you guys should be offended on my behalf.
You put me in a tough spot here because while it helps the cause putting Mario Cristobal on this platform,

I don't want him to endure speaking with you. Yeah.
No.

Nor

if we get Christopher on you're going to grill him. No.
What's the grilling to be done? I'm just asking. Like, what is the grilling? You just prop him up and you let them knock them down.

That's what you do. You say, all right, coach, go.
What's going to happen here, though? Like, what needs to happen? What do you think is going to happen? There is an obvious propaganda movement.

This is, Saban taught this to us, where all of a sudden, after a season in which he lost games that were unexpected, you would see him making the arguments everywhere and would be given the platform that other coaches weren't necessarily given to appear everywhere.

I expect to see Mario Kristobal doing nothing but interviews for the until they're making the determinations. So what needs to happen and what is going to happen over the next few hours and days?

I think he should be on every show.

He should be on all the national shows, especially over the weekend when the hurricanes are not going to be playing and all these other teams who are ahead of them in the rankings are going to be playing in conference championship games.

Mario's got to go everywhere he can. Go everywhere he can.
Be undeniable.

You're 10 and 2 and a lot of the metrics that people were citing when you were 6 and 2 are now in your favor because you played played the season out common opponents, whether it be Notre Dame or Alabama or Texas with that loser head coach that just lost one game

to Florida in a game that they had more yards in against Texas than they had combined in their most two recent battles against Miami Hurricanes and Mario Crystal Ball.

So you have all the arguments right now. Head to head, as you've applied.
Head to head.

As you mentioned, guys, head-to-head in this top 15 has mattered throughout the rankings, and there's one outlier. What have we been told? Well, then it's the quality loss.
Okay.

Well, quality loss doesn't apply to Alabama, I guess. Everything that we know about the College Football Playoff Committee's criteria that has been outlined, I guess, doesn't apply to Miami.

Head-to-head. So I think that if you look at Conference Championship weekend, I was a big believer in you shouldn't be punished for losing your conference championship.
I think that's bullshit.

But if they're going to bullshit me, bullshit them back. You know what's weird? You know what's weird?

I'm trying not not to be prisoner of the moment with what I'm about to say, but I genuinely, as I think here, cannot recall a time when the NFL, college football, and the Heisman are so wide open.

Like, I just have no idea who's going to win any of those things. You're not going to convince me that the Bears or the Patriots are going to win the Super Bowl.
You're not, you, you cannot connect.

I will not believe it until after it's happened, and then I still won't believe it. Rams just lost to the Panthers.
It's really like a strange time. But I have no idea.

We're in December, and I have no idea who's going to win any of those three things. I don't know who's going to win the Heisman.
My vote is due soon. I don't know who's going.

I don't know.

I don't know who's going to win in college football. And I don't know who's going to win in professional football.
You're going to vote for Malachi Tony, aren't you? Probably.

Two of the three you mentioned there are exciting, even though we don't know what's going to happen. I don't find the Heisman's got a lot of juice right now.

Okay, it doesn't have to have a lot of juice. I just don't know who's going to win it.
Pavia,

Mendoza, Jeremiah Love, who Drew Mestimaker. I'd like to remind everybody, Jeremiah Love had 33 yards against Miami when he actually lined up against big-time competition.

Dan, you're speaking to something that annoys me so much about college football right now is people are still applying this arrogance from like 10 years ago, in which they feel matter of factly, they know what's going to happen when they play these games, despite parody being all over that sport.

Anybody can beat anybody inside a certain group. It's a hard sport.
Winning is hard week in and week out.

And for someone to just look at their poll ranking, see where other people slot them and say, well, Notre Dame would beat Miami if they played today. By which metric? Recency bias?

Because you lose that one too.

I don't understand how people are so naive

entering this process to think that they know better when a result is staring them in the face, telling you quantifiably who is better, and you choose to ignore it thinking that you know better.

I think half the top 25, I think 15 of the top 25 teams in the preseason rank ended up unranked. Greg, we don't know shit.

How can we be in professional football three-quarters of the way through the season and in college football at the end of the season and not have any idea about those three things?

Who's going to win college football's championship? Who's going to win pro football's champion? Who's going to win the Heisman? How can we still be asking after this much ball has been played?

How can I be such a not-ball knower that I'm sitting here saying to you, I don't know who's who's good. Isn't it great, though? It's great.
I love that.

And Ruben Bain should get your Heisman vote, by the way.

And Louisville and SMU both were ranked this season. They both were ranked this year.
I'm going to do that.

I think

I'm going to make it Tony Bainenbeck, top three. What do you think? I think Mario Crispal is going to be joining us this week.
You people are a joke.

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