The Big Suey: Whose Shoes Are Whose?

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Welcome to the Big Suey. Presented by DraftKings.
Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables

to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys?

I've done it.

And now, here's the marching band to nowhere,

fat face, and the habitual liar.

This episode of the Dan Lebitard Show with Stugatz is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.
I thought I could leave it alone. I couldn't because I went out there.
Ethan shoved Taylor under the bus and said Taylor hasn't seen Raiders of the Lost Ark either. Taylor's a different kind of guy.
The problem with Taylor is that he's never seen anything. Any movie.
Any movie whatsoever. He just watches tape.
That's it. No, he watches Kings of Queens and that's it.
That and everybody loves Raymond. That's what he does.
He doesn't watch anything else. Doug Heffernan.
He's a big Doug Heffernan guy. Is that what you're telling me? He's a big Jerry Stiller guy.
Oh, Jerry Stiller's the best, man. R.I.P.
The bulk of his stuff. But Raiders of the Lost Ark, this is required viewing, right? One of the greatest movies of all time.
Greatest movies of all time. Easily.
So my kids, I showed my kids Rocky for the first time last weekend. Watched Rocky for the first time and I was worried because, you know, Rocky 1 is slow.
Dangerous. It's slow.
Well, no, violent. No, not violent.
My God. You know what my kids watch? CTE.
Violence is not the issue. Violence is not the issue.
We agree that Rocky had CTE early in the game. Yes.
From day one. From day one.
He came into the pros with CTE. Yes.
We agreed. Okay.
Advanced. It was like.
Not the fun kind either. He should have been fighting.
If we can look back and be like, hey, maybe you should just keep the warehouse job. How did it go, though? Because I'm worried about that film age, especially with a younger demo.
It's risky. So I was worried it would be too slow for them.
Because it's a great film. And you want them to feel what you felt.
Yes. But the times may change what they feel.
They liked it. They liked it.
Oh, that's good news. The two.
Did they like the ending? Because the ending was super satisfying. They loved it.
No, they were confused by the ending. They were like, wait, who won? It wasn't clear.
And I was like, yeah, I'll apologize. It wasn't clear.
You announced it. But it's kind of a celebration.
No, no, no. You can see how people are confused.
Roy, the way the way it's shot. Combat sport is kind of, you should not land there.
The way it's shot, first of all, my kids don't watch boxing. So the idea of like, the first judge had it, 115.
They don't know what's happening. Number two, the announcement is actually in the background.
Because the foreground is Rocky going, Rocky. And then they hug.
And they see Apollo jumping. They don't know what, they're like, wait, who won? So I had to explain that to them.
The other notes that we got, right? Number two is, when's Eye of the Tiger come on? And I had to explain to them, guys. Guys, Rocky 3.
Which led me to, should I skip watching Rocky 2? No. No, Rocky 2's good.
Is it? Rocky 2's the one I've seen the least of in my life. There's only one that you skip, and it's Rocky 5.
Oh, that never happened. But you know what? I like Rocky 5, man.
In my older age, I have become a lot more appreciative of Rocky 5. I showed my kid one through four, and we went one day binge-watched all of them.
I was four age now. Oh, four's great.
Four's pretty pretty good four is great when but there's so much ambiguity now oh yeah are they our no actually now it's more resonant than ever like 15 years ago I was like what why are we mad at this Russian guy like now it's like yeah it's back we're back Cold War back baby 20 CB is that how you see it when's Mason the line Dixon that's six Rocky Balboa that's six I call it Rocky six I? That's 6. I call it Rocky 6.
I'm not going to do... And I call Creed Rocky 7.
And I call Creed 2 Rocky 8. It's all Rocky.
Rocky 8 is wild. He wasn't in the second one? No.
The Creed series slowly making its way onto goat black movie franchises. Creed is really good, by the way.
Rocky 7 is like my third favorite Rocky. Rocky 7 is really good, man.
Rocky 7 is awesome. Rocky 8 isn't bad either.
That's the one with Drago's son, right? Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.
No, Rocky 8 is fire, bro. What are you talking about? Rocky 9 was the one with Jonathan Majors.
Again, good. Not bad.
I haven't seen that one, I don't think. That's the one I haven't seen.
Maybe we'll work our way up.

Yeah.

No, he's working his way back.

Do you want me to give you the little synopsis for it, or do you just want to watch it? It's like his friend goes to prison.

His friend, who's the better boxer when they were younger, goes to prison, gets his life

taken away, and then Jonathan Majors feels like Creed took his life and lived his life.

Is Jonathan Majors supposed to be kind of like Clubber Lang?

Not quite, but a little bit of that?

He's more evil.

Much more evil. He's a bad dude.
Clubber Lang? Hold on. Clubber Lang.
Clubber Lang, not quite, but a little bit of that. He's more evil.
Much more evil. He's a bad dude.

Clubber Lang? Hold on, Clubber Lang.

Clubber Lang was not a good dude.

No, this guy's a bad dude.

This guy's a bad dude.

This guy's a bad dude. Although his narrative just gets

fast-forwarded. The pacing on

Rocky 9 ain't great.

I love that we're calling it Rocky 9.

It's Rocky 9. He gets a world title shot

very quickly. You guys are telling me Rocky 2 has the rewatch value, right? Well, Rocky 2 has, it tells a story that everybody was like, well, Rocky 1 could have been better.
How do we make Rocky 1 better? But by telling a similar story. And making sure he wins.
Yeah, secret sauce. Secret sauce.
So this is what I believe. Wasn't what it could have been.
There ain't going to be no rematch. Yeah, that's when they're hugging at the end of Rocky 1, right? And the only one.
As Creed taught us, there were two rematches. Yeah.
Man. We recorded an episode of Cinephobe Top 5 the other day.
And we were talking about worst parents in Sinophobe history and I submitted as one of my outside looking ins Rocky in Rocky 4 because he's so sick and tired of being a dad and being a husband he decides to fight in Russia on Christmas Day just get me away from my family as far as possible on Christmas Day and then Adrian shows up she shows up anyway because she's CT5 or spouses. Just nagging.
Had to follow him. You're not going to win, Rocky.
You can't win. You see him.
You know how strong he is. Annoying, shrill voice.
Shrill. He should have took the fight.
I mean, can we not be honest and say he shouldn't have fought the dude? Who? Anybody shouldn't have fought the dude? You're saying Apollo should not have fought the dude? Apollo shouldn't have fought him.

It was an exhibition. He didn't know the dude was

going to go like that. Rocky shouldn't have fought him after

he watched him kill Apollo. Rocky should have thrown

the towel earlier. But again,

Rocky gets a concussion every

moment. Adrian, he's clearly concussed.

He is a concussion. Can we get an independent neurologist

out here? That didn't exist at that time.

Or do we? 20 CB. Is this

shot that important? 20 CB, they just give you the

smelling salts. You're good.
He's good.

Look at my finger. Alright, he's good.
Go. A walking concussion.

A walking concussion.

Think about this. Rocky left

his wife and child on Christmas

to go to Russia. Communist Russia

to go fight a dude who murdered

his friend in the ring.

You know how much of a bad

husband and a bad father you have to be to be like, I'm going to do this over here on Christmas. He's a good husband.
He still visits the grave. He's a great friend, too.
As Rocky. Oh, as Rocky 7.
Michael Jordan. Motivational speech.
Well, and then he was not in 9. No.
Michael Jordan would never fight the person who ended up killing you in the ring For you That's fair So this is why Rocky is maybe one of the best friends I didn't say He's a great friend I think we got a LeBron Windy situation here He never said he was his best friend All he said is go to the. I've gone to a lot of funerals.
Why do we keep having Amin die before Michael Jordan? Amin started. He's got the premonition.
He's going to do it. Number one.
Because he wants Michael Jordan to go to his funeral. He's going to make sure it happens.
LeBron's not the only person spending seven figures on their body. Michael Jordan is, except it's just cognac and cigars.
Yeah. But still, look at George Burns.
He lived to like 112 or whatever, so there it is. You, Hawk...
Millions of cognac and cigars a year on your body. Let me get away from this before he decides he's not going to come with you.
You see how I'm trying to dig into it? I'm trying to make sure I keep my money. I can't believe all you said he spends his money on is cigars and cognac.
Mike, I'm sorry. I was just playing.
I'm playing. You know, I like to play, Mike.
With friends like you who needs enemies. I like Hennessy, too.
So, Hawk. I like him.
I like him. Mike's not drinking Hennessy, by the way.
Yeah, he's... Remy? Louis the 13th, baby.
A little higher. Hawk, you had umbrance.
You took umbrance. You took issue with something that Dan said on the show about, was it Russell Wilson? Yeah, Russell Wilson.
About how it's so sad that he gets to go make up the $21 million with the New York Giants. And that it's a terrible ending to a career.
I completely disagree with that take. I think he might be the happiest person in all the free agency.
Dude, you get to live your, like, it's like, what do they call them? When people go play, not fantasy baseball, but, like, when people pay a bunch of money to go play on Yankee. Like fantasy camp.
Like Billy Crystal? Yeah. Like fantasy camp, right? Except it's real.
Except it's real. Except it's real.
Like, that's crazy. It's like going to Westworld for Russell Wilson, right? Yeah.
You go in there and like, oh yeah, these robots are actually trying to kill me. I can't see a world at all where Russell Wilson, I'm not even kidding, not even a single point of it I can see where he would be disappointed in how things transpired.
Especially given where he was with the Denver Broncos. And he was positive in that situation.
Yeah. And it was clearly him and his coach did not get along.
His coach hated his guts. Yep.
He got cut in a season where he was playing decent. And the thing about it is he didn't finish last year great.
He is aging. Everyone does.
He's not a young quarterback, but he's not playing that far off of the way that he's always played. And that is just the elements around him.
And now he gets to go to New York media market with his superstar wife. Sierra's a superstar.
She was a superstar. We're doing this off of follows.
She was a superstar. She was a huge superstar.
She's more famous worldwide. Yes.
I would argue she's more famous now than she's ever been. Nah, that can't be true.
One two step sir? That, you guys are living in a moment. Like she's more visible now.
No she's not. With the injection of sports.
She had the biggest song on the planet. The biggest song on the planet.
She had the Missy Cosign. I think you guys were really, really into hip hop at the time.
Biggest song. At that time? Absolutely.
It was certifiably one of my passions. Yes, that was one of them.
In that era? 100%. I still think Sierra was the biggest superstar.
When Luda hopped on the track, with the meanest, meanest, whip, whip, whip. Come on, man.
I didn't say it wasn't fire. Dip, dip, dip, dip, dip.
I didn't say I wasn't in the party's going hammer. Come on, man.
I'm just saying she's still a superstar. She is.
And they're now in the media market of New York as opposed to Western Pennsylvania. Sure.
No, look. Hey, man.
You know what else grinds my gears? I'm sorry to cut you off. What's that? We were doing this thing.
We let Dan perpetuate this. Aaron Rodgers and Stugat's last five games, last five games.
Yeah. And then I look at Russell Wilson's last five games.
Very comparable, except Russell Wilson was actually playing real teams. Meaningful.
Meaningful football. Against teams trying to win their football games instead of whatever the hell they had going on with the Jets.
Now do that with Aaron Rodgers over the last three years, and you will see that it's the same thing. He's played better than – And he's five years younger.
And yet we still are more excited about Aaron Rodgers. I'm going to tell you right now, don't look now, but I think Russell Wilson is going to do better in New York than Aaron Rodgers did.
Oh, wait. I shouldn't have said that.
It's time. New game.
I like that. Don't look now.
It's not a new game. And it's a terrible game.
I'm glad you said don't look now. Hold on.
I'm glad you said don't look now. Go ahead, Roy.
All right, don't look now. It's presented by Smirnoff, the world's number one vodka.
Please drink responsibly. Tony? Absolutely is the world's number one vodka.
Okay. Okay.
Boy, obviously we talked about Russell Wilson. That's on my Don't Look Now.
I'm really concerned about a lot of things, Tony, before you start. Well, number one, I don't know what Mike is doing to Pat Riley.
I know that Pat Riley has a case, an HR case. Number two, you guys have recruited Andrew Hawkins into this somehow I wish I got a real blindfold Well, Hawkins, you gotta close your eyes at least Okay, they're closed Don't look now, we haven't even mentioned this on the show I don't know who's behind me It's Pat Riley Don't look now, Stephon Diggs is a patriot Not mentioned, not uttered once On this show, by the way, last week.
Stephon Diggs, now with Drake May. Interesting veteran receiver, veteran presence.
Is it a good veteran presence? I don't know. That's why we're not looking.
He wasn't that bad. He wasn't that great.
But it's like the first hat, too. This is the first piece of analysis Mike has ever offered in this segment.
That is true. But again, Mike likes it.
Drake may. Hawk, what do you think? Getting a veteran guy in there,

trying to help him out?

You got to develop your young quarterback.

You know who's really good at helping

develop young quarterbacks

with rocket arms at 6'5",

with a lot of potential?

Stefan Diggs.

Josh Allen.

Ring a bell, anybody?

I love it.

Mack Hollins at the 2.

What if they go up and draft

Travis Hunter, too?

Nice little 1-2-3.

I can't believe how much

we talk about Mack Hollins.

Taylor introduced me to that name

like a year and a half ago.

Thank you. Mac Hollins at the two.
What if they go up and draft Travis Hunter, too? Nice little one, two, three. I can't believe how much we talk about Mac Hollins.
Taylor introduced me to that name like a year and a half ago, and now he's a superstar. Black Sierra.
I like how we barricaded Mike, by the way. Good job, Billy.
I have no idea what Mike's doing because I'm not looking now. There you go.
Don't look now. And it's actually gaining steam.
Diana Rossini commented on this and reported this earlier today. You today you guys talk into the mic where's my mic you gotta talk into a mic the packers the packers were one of the teams that tried to ban the push the tush push oh and now it's starting to gain some steam where across the league there may be some people sled by the packers that want to cancel the push the tush push gotta do it Has to happen.
There we go. I'm back.
Alright, what else do I have here? Don't look now! You're looking at your paper. How's that possible? It's the psychic thing where I can see where the Ark of the Covenant is.
I just can't see exactly where... How many soldiers? 200.
Sorry. Vikings have not...
Yeah, hold on. The Vikings have not...
Oh, I got his hand. I got his hand.
The Vikings have not commented on the QB1 for their team. Is it going to be J.J.
McCarthy? Could it be Aaron Rodgers? They haven't closed the door yet. Don't look now.
Hawk, how surprised are you that the door isn't closed on Aaron Rodgers everywhere? I'm not surprised because he is a great talent, and he still is one of the best 32 quarterbacks in the league physically. The question is what comes along with him off the field and being a 42-year-old in a locker room that you don't really feel like you need to be subjected to everything every player is subjected to.
How does that play? Hawk, let me ask you a question. As you got older, was there any part of the locker room environment that you were like, I'm too old for this? Not necessarily the physical, but just like.
So much of it. By the time I retired, when I got plus 30, I hung out more with the coaches than I did the players.
Just because I'm married with kids. Right.
You got 21-year-olds coming in here with music. I don't know.
I was very much the old guy. That's how me and Joe Thomas became friends because he's an offensive lineman.
I'm a wide out, but we're both old as hell. And he was the only person I could talk to about like older person things in the locker room.
So you get, it loses you quick. Yeah.
So, and you said you hang out with the coaches. How do the coaches receive that? Like, is there any part of it? Oh, okay.
I see. I got to look now.
I'm sorry. Yeah, segment's over.
Segment's been over. Nobody was going to tell me.
We just wanted to see how much longer you were to go. Yeah.
All right. Folks, listen up.
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Going to a car race?

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Don Lebertard. If all the rain drops were lemon drops and gun drops, oh what a rain that would be.
Stugatz. Standing outside with my mouth open wide.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. If all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops, oh, what a rain that would be.
This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugatzats Guys, are you excited as I am For this new Statham movie? A working man? A working man I just saw the preview right now Where's my laptop? It's always an occupation It's like wrestlers in the early 90s, late 80s I love, it's always I love these new Statham movies Which is always I'm just a guy minding my business. But then somebody messes with an innocent person.
But I'm also an elite fighter. Someone messes with an innocent person in my life.
Steven Seagal? I don't like that. I can't do a Statham.
So I just do this voice right here. It's like someone messes with an innocent person in my life who really isn't in my life.
It's tangentially in my life. So maybe it's my neighbor, like it't the beekeeper.
Or maybe it's like the daughter of my best friend like it is in a working man. But now that they mess up, I've got to destroy their whole criminal organization.
Just me. Just the man.
I love it. Did you guys see Beekeeper, by the way? No.
Oh, he was in occupation. Beekeeper was hilarious.
Hilarious. Including a line saying, most people don't know, honey is one of the most flammable liquids ever.
And then he lights it on fire and the guy goes on fire. Is that so? Yeah, that's what he said.
Really? I don't know if it's real. Is it? No way.
Can you light honey on fire? Apparently it's very flammable according to Beekeeper. I gotta watch Beekeeper.
I would imagine they just wouldn't make something up like that. Although, films do tend to do that.
I mean, it's a movie. It's Hollywood, baby.
Hollywood. I remember the whole plot to the film Triple X was the submarine in landlocked Czech Republic.
Oh, yeah. In their defense, the submarine could fly.
Flying submarine. It's a super marine at that point, right? A super marine? A submarine is.
And if it were just a boat, it would be a marine. Get it? Yeah.
Everything in movies is real. It's just not revealed yet.
Yeah, like the Ark of the Covenant. Exactly.
Don't look now. Oh, no.
Hold on. No, no, no, no, no.
We're back, baby. Where's my laptop? No, no, no.
Kill that music, please. We're back.
One of the big stories in sports, and Mike, I'm glad you're here and looking now. I want you to be looking now because this is a big story in sports.
I call it the biggest Cinderella story in sports. UFL kicking off.
Almost. Roughneck.
Battle Hawks. Not a Cinderella story.
Shout out to the Battle Hawks. The biggest Cinderella story in sports is the Sudanese national team in soccer.
So if you don't know, I'm from Sudan and our country has been at war. Just like Akbar.
Just like Akbar Domestika. Has been at war for a good two years now where there's no infrastructure, there's no safety.
It's the largest number of displaced people in the world right now. The biggest refugee crisis in all the world.
And so the Sudanese national team, as a result, has not been living in Sudan, has not been playing home games in Sudan. They've had to live in Libya and play their home games there.
and everyone who listens to the show knows I'm a huge Brazil fan because growing up in Sudan you're like well Sudan's never gonna be good so we all

adopted Brazil as our, that's our country. And it's been an unrewarding experience to watch Brazil be awesome and excellent.
But this is different because now the Sudanese national team that doesn't live at home, that doesn't play its home games at home, has been on this miraculous Cinderella run over the last year and a half where they've qualified the African Nations Cup,

and they're currently number one in their World Cup qualifier group.

And so they had a big game last week against Senegal.

And Senegal is a team that has a lot of big-name guys.

Sadio Mane, to give you an example.

They've got a bunch of guys that play in the EPL,

and they play at the top levels of European football. Traditional AFCON power.
Power, right? You talk about the biggest teams in Africa, like the perennial, the Dukes, the North Carolinas of African soccer. It's Nigeria, it's Senegal, it's Ghana.
Those are the three. And then everyone else kind of get in where you fit in.
Algeria, I guess you could put them in there as well. And so for Sudan to go and play against Senegal and not only come out with a draw, but like kind of should have won the game.
Kind of should have won the game. It was something that was magical.
And I was wondering, Mike, because you are a soccer guy, is this a story that's resonating with soccer people? I know Master Tesfacion went on Galazzo and he did a segment on it. But for the soccer heads overall, is this a story that's resonating or is this still kind of...
If you look across the globe, too, there's plenty of those stories, especially in the Middle East. There's a lot of countries that would make for incredible storylines if they were to make it to a World Cup, especially here in North America.
Geopolitically, there's a lot that put the host committee in a precarious situation, although the World Cup usually transcends that stuff. But given the current climate, it'd be hard to ignore.
I do think that it's resonating. You still have to seek it out.
AFCON qualifying region does not get a lot of attention over here just because it's not readily available. You have to really seek this out.
But as we march closer, I really do think that come summertime, with the formal ramp-up of the Club World Cup that also kicks off down here in Miami, I believe with Inter-Miami, you're going to start seeing these media entities start putting together narratives as the picture becomes a little clearer. It's also a little bit difficult here in this country because I don't think, like, it's been damn near 30 years since the United States hasn't had to go through a qualification process.
So things that happened last week with the United States losing. It doesn't matter to the people.
It doesn't really resonate because all they know is World Cup. We're not really having our position jeopardized anyway because they've already qualified as a host nation.
I want to put this out there. If Sudan makes a World Cup, and obviously the World Cup is going to be here, Canada, and Mexico in a year.
Wow, it's coming right up. If Sudan makes a World Cup, I've already announced that I am going to be the host for all of this.
I'm going to take the team out to dinner. We're going to go to Fogo de Chau because we want that Brazilian energy in us, right? And I'm going to be doing the media rounds.
I'll do ESPN. I'll do Fox.
I'll do everything. I'm going to make this a thing.
It should be. And because I want to be, I want this to be visible because I think people need to understand, you know, it's insane to not know if your family members are alive or healthy and have to go out there and compete.
And again, I'm trying to think of what the American equivalent is.

It would be like McNeese State playing against the Bulls.

Only if they were coming from a war-torn part of the country.

I'm just saying the war-torn stuff apart.

It could do so much good. It's the war- war turns stuff apart.
It's also like the talent gap. We don't have anybody that's close to what these teams are bringing to the table.
Yeah, and just even if it's for a brief moment, you have on that continent, DDA Drogba famously helped end the Civil War and introduce a peacetime just for the Ivory Coast, which is also probably in that group of AFCON bluebloods. But the attention that it would bring to a cause, which, as you know, is so underrepresented in the news cycle, especially here in the United States, because we're just so infatuated with our own problems over here.
to have that kind of attention can do some real legitimate good,

even just from a fundraising perspective.

Even if it just impacts the lives of the players and the families of those players,

everybody should be rooting for this.

Everybody should be rooting for what's happening.

Absolutely.

Now, should everybody be rooting for the UFL?

They should.

Spring ball matters.

We have a testament to non-NFL.

I never played spring ball?

No, you played in the CFL. But it was a...
Not a developmental league. It's been around longer than the NFL, Mike.
Did you see the Trey Lance story? No. Trey Lance may be going north of the border to help revive his career.
To go build a career. Are you one of the greatest underdog stories in the history of the Cleveland Browns organization? I'm the secret sauce.
Are you actually going to come out against the UFL? No, I love the UFL. The UFL is great.
I just take issue with you pointing to me about a league I did not play in. Well, as someone that cut his teeth in a league that wasn't the NFL and then rode that league to the superstardom that you did, multiple contracts in the NFL, world's quickest man, you would know that what's going down tonight in Houston between the Roughnecks and the Battlehawks is of importance.
That's an intro. That's the intro I was trying to get to.
Thank you. Is there an Andrew Hawkins of the UFL? There's plenty of good stories in the UFL.
Like right now, John Pearson. That's made it.
That's made it? That's the Hawks story. The Hawks story is he started there and then he made it.
Turpin. Not a guy who could make it.
A guy who did make it. Turpin.
Turpin's probably the best. He was at UFL? Yeah, started there.
Who's had that tight end for the Chargers? Oh, my God. Backup tight end.
By Antonio Gates. No.
I'll get it. I'll find the name.
But there were good stories. And then never forget what COVID took away from us.
Which is? The Roughnecks Battle Hawks, I mean, collision course for the championship. Jordan Tiamu and P.J.
Walker, who were lighting the world on fire. P.J.
Walker, another guy, had a couple copies. P.J.
Walker was a great story, and he was legitimately good in that league. We got Anthony Brown starting at quarterback for the Roughnecks.
We got Max Dugan. We got a loaded offense for the Battle Hawks.
We got Hakeem Butler, who is a huge producer, a wide receiver for them. McCarron's still there? We got McCarron on the outs of the league.
Really? I'm like 90% sure this game goes down because there's all sorts of talk that there might be work salvage. Wait a second.
Wait a second. Is this a Brian Scalabrini situation? You know Brian Scalabrini played in the Big Three.
Do y'all know that? Yes. Very briefly.
Then he went to broadcasting after that because he was like, I'm too old for this. But the idea of I'm a broadcaster, but then I come back and I work out and then I play? Is that what's happening? McCarron has been very vocal.
I wasn't a huge fan of the merger because it kind of sided with the USFL way of doing things, which meant they had to use that union. They took some of the rules.
Thankfully, the XFL kickoff that the NFL adopted is back in what was formerly known as the XFL. But the UFL, I don't know.
It's just not doing it. It's not as extreme, I guess.
I miss the XFL. I don't like the UFL as much, but I'll give it time, and hopefully with the second year, but there's all sorts of reports being done right now.
The players still exhausting every option because they're not happy with the compensation that they're getting. I mean, I do think today's game is going to go down, but AJ McCarron has been one of those outspoken voices, especially for the quarterbacks.
The quarterbacks came out in unison and said that their pay wasn't right, but McCarron's not playing for the Battle Hawks anymore now. Yeah, and also I think you're confusing Greg McIlroy with A.J.
McCarron, who are both former Alabama quarterbacks. One is an analyst for ESPN.
Which one had the hot girlfriend that Musburger? A.J. McCarron.
McCarron. Although, to be fair, I don't know what McIlroy's working with.
But the famous one were – who was it? Was it Brad Nessler? Nessler? No, Musburger. Brad Musburger.
Yeah, Musburger. Yeah, there she is.
That's the one you're thinking of. It's McCarran.
But we got football under the Friday night lights. I love it.
I love it. My question and this is very, I don't even want to qualify, but okay, so the players that are fighting for the money and all the things, it feels a little premature.
What is? I don't know what the UFL makes. I don't know what those TV contracts look like.
I don't know what the CBS, I'm coming in this unchecked. That's how we like it.
That's how we like it here, right? But I will say that when I'm looking at the UFL, to your point about CFL, my opportunity there being similar, is I'm looking at it as an opportunity to build a profile and tape to try to make it to the NFL versus creating a career out of the UFL. Now, there will be players that do so.
Not by choice. Not by choice, though.
And I kind of feel like it's cutting your nose off to spite your face a little bit for a work stoppage in a scenario where you guys are trying to put enough film out there to make it to the big show, which is kind of the whole premise around, quote-unquote, spring football in the first place. So that's not like it's not disrespectful to the UFL to say you're a feeder league to the NFL because that's how it's built versus a CFL truly views himself as a self-contained professional league in their country that has been around longer than the National Football League.
Did you mention that the CFL is older than the NFL? I did. Is that true? It is true.

What?

Absolutely true.

Yes.

It is the OG.

You mean older than the merger?

No.

Older than the actual league?

Older than the actual league.

And then also, you've got to realize, in the 70s.

1956 is what I'm looking at here.

The salaries are comparable.

That's not older than the NFL then.

Well, then it is the merger.

Well, the NFL, it's older than the NFL. No.fl was founded in 1920 the cfl was founded in 1958 i don't think that's right okay i think we need cfl merch for i don't think that's right anybody who works with the cfl can we send some cfl merch to hawk so he can wear it on the show at least we admitted on the front end we are not informed on this at all.
Again, unchecked. That's how we like it around here.
Everything's unchecked. When you guys have a cleaning person coming to your house, do you clean your house first for the cleaning person? It's crazy, bro.
It's crazy. We had the cleaning lady the other day, right? A couple of days ago.
And the night before, I got a baby. A three-month-old kid.
Very hectic in my life, right? Baby's screaming, crying. We got to give her a bath.
We got to put her down. We got to do this.
We got to do that. By the time I get home, my wife's like, hey, the cleaning lady comes tomorrow.
We got to clean up. And I'm like, she's, we're paying her to clean up.
And she's like, no, no, but we got to clean up before she cleans up. So we don't look like slobs and we don't look like, you know, dirty people.
And I'm like, I get that.

I'll put away a couple of things that we've got out.

But like, I'm not going to physically get on my hands and knees and scrub something that she is going to scrub tomorrow.

Now, here's the deal.

There's part of it that is the safe face, right?

Absolutely.

I feel like this is a universal.

This isn't a two Americas thing, right?

This is universal.

Three Americas.

Three Americas.

Four.

Four too.

Four Americas.

Just got to close the loop. Donald Parham.
Oh, there you go. Thank you.
Parham the interruption. The dishes have to be done.
Yeah, like, look, it's, this is, some of it is the safe face, right? Some of it is you don't want, like, these people are like, oh, these people are animals, right? But there's another part of this.

There's actually two other elements to why you clean up before the cleaning people show up.

Number one is you clean up the things that I don't want you messing with.

Right.

Right.

Like, I'm going to put this stuff away because I don't trust.

Because you don't know where it goes.

I know where it goes.

Exactly.

And one of the things I hate about the cleaning people is when I open a drawer and I'm like, where the hell is the thing?

And they're like, oh, they put it in this cabin over here. We never put the bottle opener there.
Why would it be there, right? Number two, and this one is huge, because if it's too much of a hard work, they might half-ass it. So I'm going to get rid of the original kind of surface level stuff.
You're going to do like 25%, so they only have to do 75% instead of 100%. Not only do they only have to do 75%, they have to do the hard 75%.
I'm going to get rid of the aesthetic, superficial part of the dirt. All right, now you've got to scrub that part that won't come out.
So instead of them half-assing, you're half-assing. Absolutely.
Absolutely. That's why you clean before the cleaning people show up.
It's just like I don't get it because I had to clean my house at 11 o'clock. And it's like, that's annoying.
Who put all these shoes here? Why are all the shoes? There's 11 pairs of shoes in the house. Why are they here? I kind of feel like this is.
I'm running up the stairs with nine shoes. Trying not to wake the baby up.
One shoe falls off. My wife's like, watch.
I'm like. Tony, I'm not trying to sow seeds of discontent in your household.
But I kind of feel like when it's you, her, and the baby, it's pretty obvious whose shoes are who. Yes, of course.
I got a problem in my house because I got kids, multiple, and two of them are twins. And so whose shoes are these? How old are your twins? I got twins too.
My twins are 11. Mine are 10.
For real? Come on, put it there. Twin life.
Did you find that once you had twins, you started meeting people who had twins? Yeah, that's all you see. That's all you see is twins.
You should go to the Twinsburg Twin Festival in Ohio. Oh, yeah? All the twins converge in Twinsburg, Ohio to have a festival, all twins.
By the way, twins? File. There it is.
I have a brother? Also, the Grey Cup is older than the Super Bowl. It's 1909 was when the Grey Cup was.
I have some clarification, not a CFL thing. The CFL is older than the NFL and the merger.
I wouldn't find that. All right, so courtesy of ChatGPT, which has been wrong about Hawkins-driven topics.
It's a little racist, but go ahead. I'll allow it.
NFL was founded in 1920.

Okay.

CFL was formed in 1958.

Okay.

Through a merger of various

Canadian football organizations.

However,

Canadian football itself

has its roots going back

to the 1860s,

which predates American football.

Yes.

But the official CFL organization

came much later

than when the NFL started.

Yeah.

So Canadian football is older than reconstruction. Well, what about college football? But that's how the NFL is too, though.
All those leagues, that's what they consider the NFL, but also the roots of the NFL are from 1920-something. Is there a really old franchise inside the CFL that is older than the CFL itself? Because that's a good way to do it.
What's the oldest CFL franchise? I don't know. Will you get on that? I will find out.
Even though this is contrary to what we want to do. We want to do unchecked, but I'm asking you to check.
Do you remember when Baltimore was in the CFL? Oh, that was a time. Stallions, right? They brought back the Colts, I believe.
Brought some more stallions? Was it? Yeah. Yeah, it was a horse of some sort.
Yeah. So the Grey gray cup originally was a hockey trophy and then the league that handed out the trophy then got another trophy so they gave it to the canadian dominion football champion so they just were like well we have this extra trophy you guys can have it's a hand-me-down it's efficient we got another point in your favor right now the toronto organauts are the oldest franchise in the CFL and the oldest professional football team in North America.
They were founded in 1873. Come on.
What are we talking about here? While the CFL as a league was officially formed in 1958, several teams like the Argonauts predate the league by decades. You think I would just peddle that stat? You don't think I've heard that a million times? Well, you said the CFL is older.
I know, but it is. See, that's why we checked.
It is. The NFL, the merger didn't happen until the 60s.
Right. We're really bending over backwards to make you right.
Thank you. We're trying.
The field goal post at the front of the end zone, that's a Canadian thing. That's where they got it from.
Oh, for real? Yeah. That's the reason why they changed it.
Yeah, because it's Canadian. Because they're not fun.
We still like big hits. We got an extra defender out there.
If you could take one rule from modern day CFL and apply it to the NFL, is it running starts? One point. Rouge.
One, I don't know. I don't think it's running starts.
I think it's no fair catches. Oh.
No fair catches, no touchbacks. You hated returning puns.
CTE. I did, but we got a five yard halo.
So no fair catches, no touchbacks. But you're like strict with the halo.
But if you're inside of five yards when I catch the ball, it's a penalty. And also, if I take a knee in the end zone, the defense gets one point.
What about a slightly wider field than the NFL? That's fun. You want big scores and touchdowns? Make the field wider.
Is that why the field is wider? Is it the metric system? It's in meters, isn't it? Yeah, but it's not equal. I don't think that's why.
It's still like, yeah, the field is 110 yards long, which would be 100 meters to the NFL's 100 yards. The end zones are 20 yards long, each end zone.
So you could be on the 10-yard line, throw a 25-yarder for a tug. Sideline to sideline is also wider.
Sideline to sideline is also wider. So when they're like, okay, third down and 35 meters? No, they don't do that because there's only three downs in the CFL.
So third down and 35 meters, you better punt it. You gotta punt it.
You go two and out. Only three downs.
Dude, only three. Okay.
Hold on now. The offense has a big advantage in the CFL.
You want to make NFL football more fun. Less downs.
Less downs. Less downs.
Why are we doing four downs? Let's go three downs. Hey, you're preaching my language right now, brother.
There is no football that was more fun to me than playing in the CFL. Why isn't CFL football more popular? Do they play at the same time as the NFL? Is it season? It starts earlier, but yeah.
It gets a lot colder earlier. Championship is like Thanksgiving weekend.
We have an update on the Baltimore Stallions. Yes.
Former Great Cup champion, Baltimore Stallions. Wow.
We took the Great Cup too. Went down there.
This is like when the Raptors. It was a year they folded too.
They won the Great Cup and that was it. That's really unfortunate.
Leave on top like George Costanza. I'm out of here.
Did they relocate or did they just totally shut her?

We'll keep working it.

I'm fascinated, though, by this idea of could the CFL be a TV product

that would be successful in the U.S. if their season just didn't coincide

with the thing that takes everyone's attention?

The answer is no, because each roster has to have at least 19 Canadians.

Okay.

Right?

So there's also certain positions that are more Canadian than others. We'll call it that way.
Like what? Like offensive linemen. A lot of the old linemen are Canadian.
Safety. You have a lot of Canadians.
He's talking about secret sauce. The secret sauce.
Nationalism. Possession slot receivers.
It may come as a shock. They have blackheads out there.
No, no, I know. I'm saying, but their secret sauce likes to be there.
But their secret is in those. Linebacker.
Linebacker must be a great Canadian position. You're not going to see a lot of white corners in the CFL.
You're not going to see a lot of outside receivers. So the further away from the ball, the less Canadian.
There's just like, hey, we can find that here. They don't come to America to get things they can find to feed the ratio.
Big 6'6", 330-pound guy. We got that right here in Nova Scotia.

That's nothing to us.

When a lumberjack shot.

Hit Saskatoon, we got ourselves a linebacker

straight out of Calgary.

Not a big deal.

You know?

So there's that.

So that would make it tough.

Because also, and this goes to the UFL as well,

what the NFL does great is they do great

character development.

Right?

There's a cycle.

Like, we see the high school kids. This kid's a five-star.
Jeremiah Smith, where's he going to go? Miami, Ohio State. Goes to Ohio State.
You've watched him. And then as they get to the NFL, you're now seeing pass or fail.
And then they do well. And the Lamar Jackson story arc is nuts.
It's hard for the UFL because I don't know these guys. And there's no way to get me as caught up.
But you're giving me the broadcast cfl is the same way hey friends it's jared bear here and i'm here to tell you all about boost mobile which is now a legit nationwide 5g network so i must take a break from the jokes here for a second and put on my serious voice because i would never ever joke about a 5g network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country. Not even once.
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