Local Hour: The Moment of Silence for MJ's Drive

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Cuervo. This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
There's nobody last night who was more delighted by the turn of events than the one and only Dan Levatore. Oh my God.
I had to do a two-hour stream with him last night, and it happened right when that Bulls game was ending. We had Nick Wright on, and it was crazy, right? I could see Dan, who's obviously not here.
He's out of town. I could see him want to parachute back in and do the show today, and I said, no, no, do that we got it we got it from here but the second happiest person has to be Stephen A.
Smith this is like the exact other side of the coin from the Pacers game right Pacers game happens LeBron's in Indiana he does Pat McAfee he they post all the memes him and Kevin Love are tag teaming like the ha ha look at Stephen A. Smith trying to box and all that stuff.
And then LeBron has a tip in to win the game. And it's like, top of the mountaintop.
That's why you don't mess with the big dog. And then literally, one night later, LeBron has that turnover.
And then Josh Giddey, of all people, hits a half-court shot over him. And I know somewhere Stephen A.
Smith popped. Just straight up explosion of ecstasy, right? But there is someone who is the saddest person in all of these proceedings.
It's not LeBron. I don't think he's sad.
I mean, it happens. He can play another game.
They'll play Memphis on Saturday. We move on, right? It's not the Lakers who are seeing their playoff seating in jeopardy here.

It's Skip Bayless.

Do you understand Skip Bayless spent over a decade?

This is a great take.

Right?

Like needling LeBron, calling him all sorts of names,

trying to bait him, like acknowledge me.

Just acknowledge me once.

Come on, I dare you.

I'll debate me here and all that stuff, right?

And he did a show with Stephen A. Smith and he was doing this and he did a show with Shannon Sharper he's doing this and then he did a show with Lil Wayne and a bunch of other people and he was doing this right and then he stepped away from doing a show said I'm gonna go chill in my house I'll do some stuff on that's definitely how that went right with Geraldine he For Ernest Dean.
For Ernest Dean. It's like, alright, okay.
Whatever. We gave it an old college strike.
20 years. It didn't work.
Alright. And then the moment he steps aside, not only does this thing happen, it happens to Stephen A.
Smith and not the skibling. I've been here this whole time! I've been saying wild shit this whole time.
Why did you acknowledge me? Why did you run up on me? Isn't that connected, though, in some ways? Is it? Because isn't it probably why LeBron, when he felt the comments from Stephen A. Smith, was probably more disappointed in Stephen A.
Smith, and he doesn't care what Skip says. And that's probably just hurts Skip even more.
Of course. That it's like I'm not even looked at with enough respect to get under your skin.
The most aggrieved part of here is Skip Bayless. Because not only did it not happen to him, Hawk, he doesn't have the opportunity to go on air across the nation, nationwide TV, and do his thing.

He's in like a straitjacket.

Yeah.

You're at the crazy farm, and all of a sudden it's like,

that was me.

And they're like, okay, Grandpa, I was the one doing that first.

I was the first one. Sure, sure.

And also Dak Prescott trade rumors.

He's probably losing his mind.

Talk about Dan wanting to parachute in.

This is how I feel when I see crazy route footwork videos going viral

nowadays or a bunch of short receivers

in the NFL being superstars.

I feel like I'm in that straight jacket. I'm

Skip Bayless in that situation.

I was short first. The funny

thing is just that. You say

that and on some level, you're

right, but everyone looks at you like

okay. Okay old man.

Get a load of this guy. It might be bedtime.
That good CTE is acting up again. The fun CTE.
See, it's messed up, man. Now I feel bad for Skip Bayless, and I did it before you started this take.
It's sad, man. It's sad.
And, like, legitimately, the feeling of, hey, man, I created this thing. I championed this thing.
And then someone else is going to take it from me and make it way more popular to the point where no one's going to acknowledge where it came from. It's got to be the most frustrating.
I mean, I hadn't thought of him this entire time. You're the first person to actually invoke his name revolving this story.
It is me. He's probably grateful

for this because, I mean,

granted, I know he loves to take, right?

He wants to weigh in on this. He wants to have

the outlet, but to not have a

platform, to not even be

thought of, that's

kind of cruel.

I think I'm just now realizing

that Stephen A.

and Skip had the same take this whole whole time that was confusing right okay but i guess he was doing his villainy thing not exactly fully opposite of steven a i feel like my childhood they were on the same team was a lie i feel like my childhood was a lie is is it was steven a doing the ultimate yes and or no but he was doing no but he was doing no but he was doing no but. He was doing no but the whole time.
Yeah. Right? Like every time him and Skip would get together, Skip would say this, and he would no but him as opposed to yes and him, which is great for debate television, right? That's exactly what you want.
But secretly deep down inside. Because think about all the things that Stephen A said, right? Like that's why I never liked him.
He's a backstabber. All these things he said on first take the next day, it's like, oh, man, did you always feel like this? Apparently.
And I saw a clip of Nick Wright's show where he's like, Jordan texts Stephen A. LeBron doesn't text Stephen A.
And that's basically this whole thing. And I was like, why am I just learning that Jordan texts Stephen A? Why wasn't this agenda more clear to me? What happened? Jordan texts all his main guys.
Does he text you? There's a reason why he's coming to the funeral. Jordan's coming to my funeral.
Jordan's not coming to your funeral. He's coming to my funeral.
Jordan is not coming to your funeral. He's coming to my funeral.
I just got to make sure I die in North Carolina. Jordan who? Ori Beasley.
Hopefully he's there. Belfort.
You got to die in North Carolina while he's there. Preferably at like maybe the 17th hole.
Yeah. I want to show.
That's where the wake is. And he can grab a cocktail on the way there and just kind of wave.
And you have to walk through the wake to get to the parking lot yeah you have to no one can talk during his backswing though no no memories it's quiet it's quiet during the back like the moment of silence is for mj's drive not for a mean his putter has to be positioned right by your casket when he gets on the green of hole 17 yes and that is the only way he will be at a means funeral.

And his memory of you will be directly tied to his performance on that hole.

Like, it needs to be a good one.

At the very least par.

The very least par.

And someone had to have bet him before he got to the golf course

that he bet he could not go for par and go to your funeral. That's a parlay, right? A literal parlay.
That's good. Yes, that is the only way.
If he eagles, he might speak. He might share his thoughts.
Oh, wow. Well, hold on now.
This whole time I've been fixated on Michael Jordan being at my funeral. I never considered Michael Jordan saying a couple words.
Yeah, provided that everything is at the 17th hole at his local course, and you work it out with his tea time, he will definitely speak, provided he equals. Yeah.
Oh, man, okay, let me get on that. And by speaking, he's going to ask where the bathroom is.
No, hold on now. You're not going to do this to me.
He's not coming to your funeral. He's coming to my funeral.
He's not. I would be willing to bet so much money.
Let's put it in your will. Sure.
That if I'm wrong, I will give this money to your estate, to whoever you like, whoever you're leaving all your assets. Yes, I like that.
And this is kind of doing me a disservice because Mike's going to see this and he's going to consider it a challenge. Yeah.
Because I'm saying something you won't do. Andrew Hawkins couldn't do it.
I'm saying something that Mike Jordan can't do. Okay.
He is not coming to your funeral. And that's when he took it personal.
He might take that personal. That's when he took it personal.
That is my honest belief right now. I want to see someone else take it personal.
Let's take a look at the shot that Josh Giddey hit here. So Austin Reese just made a layup, right? Go ahead and run it.
I mean. Inbound, Josh Giddey brings it up.
Exactly half court over LeBron, might I add. Crowd goes nuts.
I understand. You try to provide some context.
There was a layup made beforehand. Yeah.
There was so much that happened. There was so much.
It was like the craziest 15 seconds. Yes.
The entire segment sequence, we'll play it in a second. But I wanted to show the shot itself because this was Dan Levitard's reaction, his live reaction at finding out that the shot was made.
Go ahead. All right, Luka is inbounding it.
LeBron breaking open to the top. He gives it to Reeves.
Reeves to the basket. Lay up.
Good. Oh! LeBron never even touches the ball.
The Bulls are out of timeouts. Giddy from half court.
It is good. Giddy made it.
No, you're making that up. Giddy made it from half court.
No, you're making that up. You're making that up.
He's not. You can't do that.
You can't. Giddy just didn't let him.
He told him. Dan was about seven mezcals deep at that point.
You could tell by that rich hue in his face. He was fueled off of lots and lots of alcohol and was absolutely beside himself.
He actually falls back in his chair after that. There's a shot of him with his feet above his head, and then he flips over, and then Valerie comes and checks on him.
If you didn't see that, you gotta watch it. It's on YouTube, the whole thing.
All two hours of it. There's another person I want to point out because we had Dan's reaction and we got Nick Wright's reaction.
I don't know if you guys believe in reincarnation. Do you guys believe in reincarnation? Sometimes Mike's not coming to your funeral.
Go ahead. You're not going to also be able to be there.
You're going to be there. Buddy, I'll come to my own funeral.
How about that? Resurrection. Hey.
You know, some people believe in reincarnation. Some people believe in whatever that thing was from the movie Fallen.
You guys remember Fallen with Denzel Washington where the spirit. File, exactly.
The spirit goes from person to person, right? The spirit of Stugas was in the building last night because Josh Giddey hits that shot, and they cut to the crowd, and there's a dad and his kid, I think, courtside, and they're jumping up and celebrating. And this kid, ladies and gentlemen, he's holding a Laker jersey in his hand.
This kid was rooting for the Lakers. Josh Giddey hits that shot.
Jersey comes off. Let me jump up and down with everybody else.
Ladies and gentlemen, Stugats. We found them.
Right there. That's him right there.
Man. It's one of the more insane endings to a game.
Oh, man. Especially the way the Bulls have been playing recently.
Like, this is, dare I say it, this is the feel-good story of March, at least. Right? For sure.
They're cresting in an insane way. And do you know why they're cresting, Mike? Why? Because Disturb played a concert at their arena.
And they burned the banners. And damaged the banners.
And I said on that day, now they've got to put up new ones. New banners.
And Kobe White said, heard you. So did Josh Giddey, by the way.
So did Josh Giddey. Giddey's been playing insane.
Well, he's down with the sickness. Is that a a disturbance? I don't know how to answer that because there's anything that happened.
I don't know what that means. I don't even know what that means.
Me neither. I'm just going to say yes.
But everybody's response tells me it's something I shouldn't touch. It's not for your demo.
Okay, perfect. It does work.
Multiple prongs. But I was really doing that.
Dang. I don't like it.
I still don't get that. So I haven't watched a bunch of NBA games as you guys well know here.
But I did catch this ending and I do feel like Amin is not doing this game justice. No? You come out with an agenda.
I had an agenda? You had an agenda. You come out with the Stephen A.
Smith, LeBron, you let that story continue to go on. You give it another day of life out the gate.
Then you show just the last shot of that game, which is maybe 6% of that. The story, and again, I'm not the basketball purist.
You are. This is the game that you protect, that you love, that you champion.
True. This is maybe the best ending of a basketball game that you will ever see, period.
Now, look, the stakes aren't playoffs, championship. But in a vacuum, not only that, Giddy airballs a floater over LeBron because he's scared.
Right. He's having a great game.
Yeah. He's like one assist shy of a triple-double.
And I know all this because it's literally the only three minutes of basketball that I've watched this entire year. But it was pretty good.
Good three minutes. I'm like, damn.
It's a good three minutes to pick. It's like when you jump in on a show that everyone else is watching.
Like you watch Game of Thrones and you're like, wow, I see what the hype is. And you jumped in on the best episode.
Giddy airballs a floater from point blank range after having a great game. I think we have the entire sequence.
We should. Here we go.
I don't even know if we're allowed to show this, but we're going to show it. Who cares? Let's get fined.
It's not my money. You got a corner three right there from Williams, from Patrick Williams.
Corner three. And this is after the air ball.
Stolen. Stolen.
Giddy with his. Giddy with the steal.
That was his triple-double assist, I believe. And Giddy with the assist to Kobe White.
But do you know who Giddy stole the ball from? Do you know who Giddy stole the ball from? Yes, I saw it. It was an inbound from LeBron.
From LeBron. Wow.
Like for that, from the peak of I won the game with a tap to I threw the game away. I threw the game away.
That's the thing. That's an uncharacteristic.
I mean, if you stop the game right there, yes, that is what the narrative is. If he can just inbound the ball.
If we all just died at that moment, then yes, you could leave. But they ended up scoring a great play because of the attention on LeBron.
Reeves goes right to the cup. And at that moment, we thought the game was over.
And it was like, oh, that narrative is no longer going to be there. How about Patrick Williams in that three, by the way? I was going to say that.
Like if you're J.J. Redick, you're like, come on.
It's a miracle. And then there's the Austin Reeves layup, and here comes no timeouts.
Bulls inbound. Get it back to Giddy.
Great defense. Well, it's a great defense.
Somebody's got to be on Giddy there, right? Yeah. I mean, you get the most dangerous guys are everywhere else.
Man, LeBron had a hand up. It was a closeout to the side.
It was a he from half court. It was a great shot by Giddy.
The most dangerous guy was Josh Giddy. Who's the most dangerous guy? The guy with the ball.
Thank you. That's always the most dangerous guy.
So this was our version of March Madness in the NBA. Meanwhile, college basketball had a very different March Madness.
Hold on, hold on. Are you going to transition? Yes.
To college basketball? Yes. All right, can I give a disclaimer really quick? Okay.
This might come to a shock. A shock to a lot of people.
I have no idea who's won a game in the March Madness poll. What? Okay, it's not because I don't like college basketball or March Madness.
I promised my kids that I would do a bracket. Okay.
And I've been really busy and haven't had a chance to do a bracket yet. And so I've been not watching the game so I can still do my bracket and be ethical about my picks.
Wait, hold on. You guys are going to do a belated bracket? They have done theirs.
I have not filled mine out yet. But I have not.
Oh, wait. So you're going.
Hold on. Second chance bracket's a real thing, but you missed the start of the Sweet 16.
But I haven't seen any of the games. He's starting from the beginning, not knowing who won anything.
I have no idea. So he's guessing who won like McNeese State versus Iowa or whatever the game was.
Or Clemson, yeah. Wow.
So if we're going to do spoilers, I'm going to have to cover my ears. Well, we have one spoiler.
Okay. Two spoilers.
Two spoilers? Because there was four games last year. Well, no, we're not going to talk about all.
We're just going to talk. Unless you have.
I've actually got an update for you. Give it to me.
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Those Jimmy John's jalapeno ones? Come on, man. Because it gives you a little kick, a little bite, a little flavor.
It adds to the proceedings. It's not just there for texture.
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Yeah, I would be. Aggressive description.
I mean, what is that? I'm just saying. You know what? That's me.
You're just saying what? That's me. Daniel Day-Lewis does something.
I see that photo of Daniel Day-Lewis looking like Lincoln before he's about to start filming Lincoln. And you know what I do? I mean, I jerk off all over myself.
That's what I do. Lincoln, who you outed the other day.
Don't make this a rejoin. This is the Don Levatar show with the Stugatz.
As all this is happening in the NBA, this is, here's the spoiler I'm going to give. Give it to me.
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21 and over.

Alabama won 113 to 88 over BYU last night.

Alabama won 25 for 51 from three.

Both of which made and attempted are tournament records.

If Alabama had not made a single two-pointer against BYU, the Crimson Tide still would have won the game by five. That's incredible.
That's incredible, but also I saw that score and I saw the box score and I said to myself, I didn't know they could do that. Any of that.
You mean score? Like score 113 points in a 40-minute game, hit 25 threes, attempt 53s, 51 threes. I didn't know anyone in college could do that.
And I'm not talking about this year. I'm talking about anyone in college ever.
Because I've seen so much college basketball. And most of it is garbage in terms of, like, production.
You see flashes of brilliance. Like, oh, he's good.
Oh, he could be good good one day. But in terms of like, hey, we're going to put together this product and we're going to call this basketball, typically it's not good.
It's exciting because they're trying hard, but it's not good. What is that voice? This is like, oh, I like college sports.
That's the college basketball purist voice. It's better than the NBA because they try hard.
They try hard every game. That's the effort voice? Yeah.
Jeez. But here's the thing.
We've talked about it earlier when I gave you the secret sauce for March Madness. The secret sauce, right? It's not that the games are great.
It's the collection of games are great because there's so many. Yes.
If you look at the actual games, they suck. Most of the time.
Most of the time. Except for when you get to the actual good teams in the lead a final four or whatever button

Hawk for you just watching anything. Thank you secret sauce.
What do you think the secret sauce is? Oh, yeah, NCAA tournament?

I think it's because the collection of games not only the collection of games who's playing in them

Yeah, what is what is the secret sauce to the collection of games?

So when you want to talk about a deep tournament run magical performances from a team, right?

There's a necessary ingredient and we call it the secret sauce the secret sauce you need to have every champion has has a secret sauce

We'll be right back. deep tournament run, magical performances from a team, right? There's a necessary ingredient, and we call it the secret sauce.
The secret sauce, you need to have it. Every champion has this thing.
Has the secret sauce. Every champion has the secret sauce.
NCAA champion. Every NCAA champion has the secret sauce, the secret sauce.
White guys. Underdog.
Ah, white guys. There it is.
And basketball, same thing. Underdog, white guy.
But Every team That you see In March Madness That makes a run That has something fun Secret sauce White guy You know I went home Yesterday Tony And I thought about it And I went And I said What about Those Florida teams That dominated With no one I said Lee Humphrey Secret sauce Then I Kentucky. Wait a second.
What about Patino's Kentucky teams? Antoine Walker and Derek Anderson and Tony Dougherty. They sent like 100 pros.
Jeff Shepard. Right? That one guy.
It's the secret sauce. Remember, it's not the entire recipe.
It's you need that extra little kick on the side. Is it that the white guy is like a main part or just that he just needs to be there?

He needs to briefly be the main character.

Briefly have that moment. But it's like for a shot, have a moment.

Could be an assist.

A shining moment, if you will.

Thank you.

Okay, okay.

Now is that reverse engineered?

That would be my rebuttal, right?

Can you start?

That little moment, not even a big deal,

but because that moment is the white guy doing it.

That's the ticket.

That's the ticket?

All right.

That's what we call Bryce Drew.

Yeah, like we're not drawing up plays for the white guy.

Well, Bryce Drew was pretty sick, but you know, there's white guys everywhere.

Yeah.

You know.

The statistics.

And so there's like this hot new theory that NIL and the portal have killed the mid-major,

which is why you're getting less of the secret sauce. For one year.
For one year it's killed the mid-major, yes. If I may, I'm confused because we had Jim Laranega on our March Badness broadcast, and I saw Jim Laranega, and I really don't understand where he's coming from.
He tweeted something to the effect of, like, Happy Portal. Well, he's like, Happy Portal, where you can lose your entire roster.
And he's famously shared this story about how after Miami made the Final Four run, everybody on his roster came to him asking for a raise. It's just, what? May I ask you guys? What are we doing here? Because Jim Laranega, okay, the big baddie that ruined everything in Miami is apparently NIL or the portal.
I don't know which one he's talking about, to be fair. He could be talking about the portal.
He could be talking about NIL. Well, hand in hand, right? Like, if you don't give me my NIL, I'll go to the portal.
Right. Miami.
Basketball. Right.
Did pretty well with NIL. Yes, and the portal.
Made a lead eight. Made Final Four.
Yes. They lost.
Jim will try to convince you that he lost his entire roster the following year. He did? No, he didn't.
Oh, no? Oh, man. Oh, wow.
No, he didn't. He lost Zay Wong, and he lost Jordan Miller.
Now, two guys that have been in and out of the league. Yep.
Good players. Replaced him with a first-round draft pick in George, who's playing well for the Wizards.
Yes. And Matt Cleveland, who Jim Laranega loved and wanted, and twice now said, I prefer him over other guys.
So he brings in a first-round talent to a core that made it to the Final Four. You still have Pac, you still have Omir, you still have Wuka.
What is happening here? They fell off a cliff with all that talent. And the following year, he followed that up by getting Jahlil Bethea, who was the number one guard coming into college.
And then he quits on the team midway through the year. But it's NIL and the transfer portal.
I'll tell you what it is. I'll tell you exactly what it is, Mike.
Give it to us. I have a theory, too.
You ever meet anyone who's, like, in an open relationship?

You ever meet those people?

I don't hang out at those bars, I mean.

I'm just saying.

You're giving us a glimpse into your life right now.

You mean the upside-down pineapple thing?

The upside-down pineapple thing. Jimmy L's a swingers, though, we're getting to?

I'm not a big cruiser.

Chris, though, he's on one right now.

So not necessarily swinging, but, like, open relationship.

Meaning, like, hey, man, me and my old lady, like, we have an open relationship i can see whatever you see whatever inevitably for all those people it's great when i'm the open part when the other side is the open part wait a second hold on now what are we doing here that's the exact same thing it's like it's cool to be in an open relationship when you're the one who gets to bang everybody and your significant other is dutiful at home and just waiting for you. When the significant other takes advantage of the open relationship, now all of a sudden we've got a problem.
And that's what Jim Lernagga is doing. But he wasn't being taken advantage of.
No, the following year, after he followed up a Final Four season with getting a first-round draft pick in his roster, he brought back the entire core. So, like, who's doing this? Who's the boogeyman that's stealing your players? You didn't lose anybody.
The NBA. Like, that following year, which was one of the more talented Miami teams of all time and one of the most disastrous seasons of all time, only followed up by a more disastrous season that caused him to quit midway.
It doesn't hold water, and he's a nice guy. I love Jim.
Greatest coach in the history of the program. Love the guy.
But he keeps perpetuating something that's just flatly not true. He made it up.
It's not a thing. We had Seth Davis on the show saying the NIL spent.
I'm like, guy, I know. We got Bethea.
It's it's not a real thing. I have an unchecked theory because I think you're right.
Let's do it. So I'll need somebody else to check this.
I don't know if we have it. No, no, no.
No checking. We don't check around here.
We just give theories. How old is the coach? And I don't want to be an ageist.
He's pretty old. He's pretty that much.
One of the oldest. One of the oldest.
I think it's an energy thing. I think it's a, I do not feel like recruiting in the portal as well as recruiting high school, as well as recruiting my own players.
And I feel like a lot of the coaches that have expressed that issue or said I'm not doing this, they all come from the old guard, but it's a lot. Hawk, you are 100% locked in.
Wow. That is what happened here.
Unchecked theory?

Guess what?

Just got checked.

Checked.

Yeah.

No, it's flatly what happened here.

He can be frustrated with the process.

He lamented plenty around boosters and the collective about this process.

It's why a lot of people – look, on the women's side,

Katie Meyer also retired because of a similar thing,

even though she had success at it,

even though the collective helped fuel a deep run in their tournament, they went to the Elite Eight. But it's just, he keeps perpetuating a false narrative because it's convenient.
You didn't have the energy to keep up with the times. It's totally understandable, my guy.
But it's just a lie and it's become fact. You didn't lose anybody to another school after the Final Four.
You lost two dudes to the NBA and you replaced them with NBA players. It's just not accurate.
So you're actually taking advantage of the portal in NIL as opposed to being cursed by it. Also, great replacement on the women's basketball side and Coach Cullop, big fan.
Yeah, that's right. I forgot that connection.
She was the Toledo coach. She's got the energy for it.
She's certainly got the energy. I got another secret sauce team, by the way.
You watch how you say that. I said, holy Toledo, Batman.
No, you said, oh, Toledo. I felt the energy.
Holy Toledo. You have to be careful with the secrets.
No, no, this is a secret from 25 years ago. He already wrote down Alabama.
He knows that he's going to write Alabama. Yes, I'm talking about secret sauce team from the past.
Oh, from the past. What you got? 0-2-0-3 Kansas Jayhawks had two.
Oh, it's Kirk Heinrich and Rafe LaDoodoo. No.
No, Collison. When was Rafe LaDoodoo? Was that before that? That might have been before.
Hawk, are you going to watch? LaDoodoo. How is it pronounced? LaFrance.
Oh, okay. Are you going to watch the games or just catch up on the results? I am probably going to catch up on the results.
Okay, because there's a character that gets revealed in the first round that by day one is a darling and by day two everyone is sick of hates. Really? Episode two? Not a player.
Yeah. No, no, no.
You said too much. No, no, no.
You said too much. Not Sister Jean.
Not Sister Jean. Not Sister Jean.
Is she alive? Yeah. Okay.
Is her team any good? No. No.
It's crazy how it's like. Her team's dead.
She's alive, though. She probably took Miami's first Final Four runaway.
Geez. Oh, yeah? Yeah, remember that Lonnie Walker team was loaded.
That's right. Miami was going to make a run.
They lost to Sister Jean in the first round, and they made it all the way to the Final Four. I want to get to this story here it's on the list and i want to get to

it part of it because this is a very interesting story but more so because i was outraged by the reaction of one ethan outside at the table oh lord this basketball this is not basketball okay so this i don't know maybe you're like be a revelation to you too. Uh-oh.
So Mike says, hey, did you hear?

They declassified the files on the Ark of the Covenant.

And my mind goes to the warehouse and like, oh, they found the box.

Like it was an unmarked.

Remember, the box in the warehouse, a million boxes in there.

There's a million boxes in the warehouse.

So how do we go through every single box to find it?

How do we do that, right?

And so as Mike is starting to explain the story that we'll get to in a second, Ethan says, what's the Ark of the Covenant? Again. And that's exactly how his voice is.
He said, what's the Ark of the Covenant? Again. Because he knew it at one point.
I've heard it before, but I'm not quite sure what the Ark of the Covenant is. That's how Ethan sounds when he talks about things.
When he talks about things that you should know, young man, you sound like that to me. That's what your voice sounded like, Ethan.
Is it possible? Juju put it on the pole? Like, do you know what the Ark of the Covenant is? Everyone knows what this is, right? And I'm not saying because you know from Bible study. Well, he's supposed to be an Old Testament guy.
Well, that's the other thing. Look.
Where's he from? Where's he originally from? He's from Florida. Bible Belt.

But he's a man

of the tribe. He's MOT.
Yeah.

So the Old Testament, at least, which is where...

Should be locked in on that. Conveniently.

Arthur the Govenant. Positively dialed

on the Ark. Arthur the Govenant.

Come on now. Can't let Hitler

have it. Exactly right.

That kind of weapon? That was not in the Old Testament.

That was in Indiana Jones, but it was candy. What about the part where you can't look at him? Eyes closed.
Well, you can't touch it. Exactly right.
That kind of weapon? That was not in the Old Testament. That was Indiana Jones, but it was candy.
What about the part where you can't look at him? Eyes closed. You can't touch it.
You can't look at it. Keep your eyes closed.
There's something to that, by the way. And again, I know people think I'm being sarcastic.
This is declassified. This is real.
The CIA confirmed the existence of the Ark of the Covenant. They tracked it down by using a psychic, and if you think that's ridiculous, just look into their programs.
That's crazy. Okay? Look, it wasn't just Hitler who was into their cult.
I mean, it's like steroids and baseball. You can't let the other guy cheat.
Exactly. You know? You got to cheat too.
And if the other side is using psychics, then you use psychics too. Yeah.
So, like, they found it, and they even in the declassified documents say that it was guarded by entities. This is real stuff.
That tracks by the way. I'm not kidding.
My mind's a little blown right now. This is the first time I'm getting this information.
Maybe there's a million fake articles out there that got me but they all look pretty legit. No, I'm with you.
I saw the declassification. I saw the pictures.
I saw the videos. Dude, you didn't go through like 30,000 documents.
I didn't have to. Somebody else did.
To be fair, an aggregator said that the entity part. But they could say anything, too.
Of course. Does it look like it does in the movie? We don't have...
It was like a crude... It was buried underground.
Did they say where? That's my issue. They can't tell you where.
Was it in Egypt? I'm not going to tell you where. How much did they classify? By the way, between you and me, I think it's in Ethiopia.
I've done my research and it seems to be in Ethiopia. By the way, there's some stuff there in Ethiopia.
By the way, if you look into a little church that they have in Ethiopia. The oldest church in the world, right? The priests that are there have had some weird things.
A lot of them die very young because of radiation poisoning. We don't know what's going on there, but that's happening.
I think that's the earliest version. Hey, Tony, you haven't gotten to the pyramids that you've been wanting to talk to about this week either.
Everything's connected, guys. Argentinian Trump was declassifying things too, and there was Hitler stuff there.
In Argentina? Well, impossible. I'm just saying, that's being declassified too if you're going to get into massive We're declassifying stuff, baby.
I love it. Can we declassify the lottery files? What lottery? The draft lottery? NBA lottery files? Look, man, we already did that on Basketball Illuminati.
Did we? Keep your third eye open. What was the conclusion? Man, you're going to have to listen to that episode, man.
I'm not going to give away the secret sauce. It's classified.
You have a secret sauce on that show, too? I haven't seen the NCAA tournament. You think I'm going to go back into the archives to listen to the lottery files? Man, look, do you want to find the Ark of the Covenant or not? All right, I'm coming.
I'll be there. Hey, 1966 UTEP Miners NCAA Championship.
You just Googled Glory Road. They got to debunk the theory.
They weren't called UTEP at the time. Texas Western.
The Black College of Texas. I don't know what they were called during Jim Crow.
Who'd they play against? Kentucky. How much did Tim Harrow go for? The opposite of Hoosiers.
They lost. But No, hold on.
The story. That was back when the secret sauce was actually black guys.
Yes. Yeah.
Exactly. Yeah.
Yeah. Also, the starting five was black.
They never talked to us about six through 11, though. That's true.
Very true. Six through 11.
There's a different story. It's got to like.
I've been a Hispanic guy there. He made it.
He made it. He made it.
He made it. Secret salsa.
Texas Western. If I may just circle back to the Ark of the Covenant.
Yes. Ah, yes.
So if we track down where exactly it was in the 1980s, there's no way that we just conceded, well, can't get to it, guarded by entities. We sacrificed some dudes.
Of course. I'm telling you, we moved this thing.
Oh, no. It's definitely in D.C.
You can't touch it, though. You can't touch it.
It's definitely in D.C. No, Mike.
Nick Cage is going to find it. Mike, Mike, I know that we attempted to touch it.
I don't know if we were successful, right? So you're right. People were sacrificed.
Because Jenkins, get in there. It's like, okay, boss.
And then he melted. Turned into a pile of dust.
Rollins, you go in there. Okay.
Johnson. Johnson.
I was up in there. And like several hundred black soldiers later.
Secret sauce. They were like, okay, maybe we can't touch it.
And so they had to figure out something else. And that's where Dr.
Henry Jones comes in. Miriam, don't look.
Keep your eyes closed, Miriam. Keep your eyes closed, Miriam.
And they managed to crate it, right?

Remember, the whole thing is you got to take the poles.

Oh, yeah. Those wooden poles, you got to stick them through the side.

And then you put them up like that, like pole bears.

I just can't believe that we're here.

It shows you how feeble our minds are.

Because it's, you know, we're in the 2020s, and the government has told us,

yeah, those UFO things that we always told you were fake when you were growing up,

no, they exist.

We don't know who's behind it, but no, they are definitely real. And we just keep moving on with our day.
We saw movies about how hypothetically if this were to happen, it would be on newspapers everywhere. And we're just like, no, I can't comprehend that.
I got my own shit. I can't deal with that right now.
Same thing with the ARC. Tournament's going on.
Number one, you can't blame people. It's March Madness.
Number two, this to me is a much bigger story than UFOs. Much bigger.
The Ark you're saying? Yeah, life on other planets, okay. The existence of God.
The existence of God and also still not to be messed with. Well, that's very true.
I always rationalize the UFO thing with, you know, there's just so many theologies. And that kind of thumbs its nose at it right like if i am to accept that there's alien life forms elsewhere that are behind these ufos then i have to take a look at my own theology this one actually confirms like a pretty big one or a couple of them right so you would think it'd be processed a little bit more but everyone's just just kind of looking at it like, this is ridiculous.
It's fake.

It's there.

Here's my issue with it, right?

It's the fact that the psychic,

we only had one psychic do it,

or do we have multiple?

Do we have multiple sources here,

or was it one guy or one girl like,

oh my God, yeah, no, I see it for sure.

It's underground.

Oh, we can't get to it.

It's guarded by entities.

Yeah, sorry, guys.

What's the check?

Wait, hold on.

50 grand?

Okay, I think for the second time in this segment,

we finally found where Stu Gatz is. With the CIA? Yeah, he's a psychic.
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