Hour 1: So...Do You Hedge?

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This is the Dan Levator Show with the Stugatz Podcast. I don't know what Amin is doing.

He's smiling.

There have been three times during the show today

that I'm pretty sure Amin is laughing at things

that don't have much of anything to do

with what we're doing on the show.

I think just now,

I don't know what to do with this, Jessica,

because we've been doing two hours of show unevenly,

and Amin said right before we turned on the microphones

as I was headed toward other subject matter, ah, the lead on the jimmy butler thing yeah like i know but jessica what am i supposed to do with this like what am i supposed to do i mean you already lost your bet so stakes on you second of all very dangerous game when you call someone out for laughing off air and then they have to think of something to say like just happened in the last i didn't want to say say what I was thinking. I made something up.
I don't even know what I said. You just did it to Amin.
Tell us why you're laughing, Amin. Because I sent him a funny Sesame Street tweet.
That's why. Sesame Street.
Sesame Street. It was a funny one, right? I mean, it was hilarious.

Jessica. So Grover had this like hilarious fake mustache and a hat on.

And I said, that's you.

I wanted Jessica.

You're right.

That's Akbar.

So badly in the last hour to have the words that you were saying to Billy behind a hand while laughing because you didn't want the cameras to catch whatever it is that you were saying, Billy. I wanted those words for about 35 minutes.
I don't know. What did you say to me? But it was like a mound visit.
It was like LeBron and Wade. She was hiding.
I was in the middle of talking, and she was laughing and hiding her hand from me in the audience and i'm trying not to be distracting i've wanted those words for 35 minutes it is allergy season maybe she had to sneeze no it was pretty clear she was just laughing with you on a wild willy wednesday that's right there are two serious things that i actually wanted to get to with amin that we have not gotten to uh the kane velasquez story is something that I wanted to get to. And before we got to that, I wanted to talk for a second, because I did think that something interesting actually ended up springing from all of that Jackie Robinson Defense Department stupidity from last week.
Whether it comes to the... Do any of you find yourself alarmed that when it comes to artificial intelligence the stories you get are about the enola gay being removed from the record books temporarily because uh of a world war ii bomber uh from hiroshima had the word gay in it and jackie robbins history has black in it.
Are you at all confused and scared that artificial intelligence is literally trying to erase humanity with these stories that are coming out about stupidities because you've got artificial intelligence handling how it is that things are seen as equal it's not artificial intelligence doing it like they're using people are using an ai tool to scrape things from websites but it's people that are behind it and also what i'm scared about is that's the second worst thing that's happened around the dod in this past week like there is a another ginormous scandal unfolding that one ain't ai that's correct that's happened around the DOD in this past week. Like there is another ginormous scandal unfolding.

That one ain't AI.

That's correct.

That's human error.

Human error.

Inordinate stupidities where war plans

are being sent accidentally to the wrong journalist.

Not just to the wrong person, to a journalist, right?

Like of all the people, like not my nanny, not like- Was it Adam? They said, yeah, Adam Schefter, right? Not Adam, wrong Adam. Adam Lichtenstein is who we're talking about.
Adam from the Sun Sentinel, a star of Oddball. Oh, there you go.
How would a mean know who that is? Yeah. Akbar met him.
I wanted to bring David Sampson back because I wanted to do a Patrick... I didn't even get to the real parts of these two stories.
We'll get back to it. We'll get back to it.
No, because it's one of the things that sprung from the Jackie Robinson, just sheer stupidity. You can't even do funny with it.
It's just so dumb. Is that RG3 is going on Stephen A.
Smith's show. This is after RG3.
You know, he was trying to make the rounds recently. He reached out to Jamel, reached out to our show.
There was something that he wanted to correct because when it came to Jackie Robinson, he had tweeted out, I just miss when sports shows were about sports. And he went on Stephen A.
Smith's show and he explained something that I had not considered when I saw that as people turned RG3 into whatever it is that they are willing to say when they say he's not black enough. RG3 came out and was hurt and was viewing it through the narcissistic eyes of, I want sports shows to be sports shows because when they used to talk about me on first take, Rob Parker was calling me a cornball brother and it was a black guy saying another black guy wasn't quite black enough for his taste and I've been that since.
I had never heard it before and I've been that since for people because I've married a white woman and because of whatever you think of my politics that makes Stephen A comfortable enough to say on his show hey nobody at ESPN liked you RG3 I liked you saying Stephen A Smith but no one there liked you because you were somebody who didn't fit and so R RG3 brought the perspective of, I wanted to be talking about sports, not whether I'm black enough. This is something that I run into a lot with certain black athlete friends of mine, where they're too white for black people and too black for white people.
And so they find this space where all of a sudden that's what they're talking about on first take and rg3 has to represent a certain kind of black yeah for what it's worth rg3's defense as i heard it not on the show but behind the scenes as someone who got reached out to is that his comment had nothing to do with mina it was he didn't even know mina had said that or gone on the show okay but because he did i'm i'm just telling you, I'm not... Don't shoot the message.
Don't shoot the message, you guys. Just trying to tell a story.
I'm not doing that to you. I'm divisively doing that to RG3.
But basically he's saying that it was said not according to what Mina was talking about. It just happened simultaneously.
He had the worst timing ever, to which I responded to an intermediary that why didn't you immediately just say, Hey, by the way, I'm not, I see a lot of people saying to connect to me to this. I'm not.
And then I got sent what his correction was. And it was as convoluted as anything I've ever seen.
But I kind of saw the seeds of him trying to say, Oh, it wasn't about me. But he said it in such a convoluted way that it didn't really land.
Yeah, it's just unsurprising, right? Like that's RG3 is one of several people in the sort of sports media landscape who will just say anything for clicks, right? I mean, that's what that was. That's putting something out there at a time when the topic was the topic du jour.
And he knew that that would be divisive. And not only knew it would be divisive, he knew the specific audience that he was attracting with it.
I would say, Jeremy, the only thing I would say is, I'm willing to accept that he didn't know that she said that and had no idea. But once he saw the fervor and furor, instead of like- Let it sit there on purpose.
Yeah. That's fair.
Absolutely absolutely because it's pretty easy to me if i was talking about something and someone's oh you said that about dan levitar i'm like oh no i didn't even hear what dan said i would go immediately and correct 24 hours he let that sit yeah so you know it is what it is david sampson i never got to the patrick ewing uh off with you and amin and i meant to are you ready to do that now i'm? You say it's your wheelhouse. Amin says he's got a better wheelhouse than your wheelhouse.
Can you please tell me what a wheelhouse is? I don't even know what an actual wheelhouse is. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show.
Do you know what a wheelhouse is? It has to do with boating, I would assume. Wheel? Buses? I don't know.
Do any of you know what a wheelhouse is? According to artificial intelligence on Google, it says that in your wheelhouse originates from the nautical term for small enclosed area on a ship where the captain steers. So score one for Billy.
A seaman. Dan.
David. That's a raise for him, by the way, Dan.
Only if it makes it. Only if it makes it all the way.

Gets to the end zone, then yes.

I think that... I'm two for two.

It's a great...

We need the third one, though.

That's where the money comes from.

Red zone conversion.

Millie, the way that you describe being married,

where you have to go to a NASCAR race in order to get a piece of quiet. That was a private conversation.
I just said I got some peace and quiet over the weekend. You said where? I said at home.
I said Miami Speedway during the NASCAR race. The loudest place to have some quiet time.
You're going to learn not to tell Dan things. Just, you know, a moment that I was sitting there in the grandstand, and I thought, man, I could just think here if it wasn't so damn loud.
But this is also the quietest it's been in a long time. Anyways, David, if I were to tell you, guess which sports a young Patrick Ewing excelled at as a child, which sports would you say? I have no idea.
I would say that it seems hard to imagine that he was late to basketball, but I guess it's possible. So I would assume it's not tennis.
Can I steal? Yeah. Okay, so he was late to basketball because he emigrated here from Jamaica.
So he played soccer and volleyball. You got one of the two.
He played soccer and cricket. Cricket.
Cricket. Huge in Jamaica.
That's a wheelhouse, I mean, right there, knowing what he did in Jamaica. Okay.
Guess what, man? When you like the sport, you know everything. You know, just the, oh, I know for the seven years.
You know half the things because you got volleyball wrong. I mean, your question, did Patrick Ewing win Rookie of the Year? He sure did.
David, please spell Patrick Ewing's middle name. A, is it A-L-A-N? It does start A-L.
That's close. What is it? Alistair.
It's A-L-O-Y-S-I-U-S. Aloysius.
Aloysius. So, so far, our wheelhouse guys have gotten just about everything wrong.
Like, when Amin tries to steal it, he steals it incorrectly. Well, close enough.
Closer than David. David thinks his name's Alan, but other than that, we're close.
I was just looking over at the signed pair of GameU sneakers I have, and he doesn't spell out his full name. All right, here's a question.
But he does sign it with C33. Okay, here's a question.
What size sneaker does David Sampson own autographed by Patrick Ewing? I mean, do you know his foot size? So there's a funny thing about this story. Patrick Ewing does not have large feet at all.
And I would assume as I'm looking, it's probably only a 12 to a 13. And that's it.
Patrick Ewing wears 13s. Yes? It's up to you to confirm.
David has the shoes he can see. I don't know the size.
It says 15 here, but that doesn't sound right compared to what you guys are saying. Same as Levin.
Yeah, small feet. You guys are getting everything wrong.
Because I'm not a, look, it's not a. You said, you guys said, you guys said.
David, how do you not know the size of the shoes that you've purchased that are in your house? How could you get that wrong? I literally could care less how big his foot is. I have the shoes because of the meaning of those shoes in my life, not the fact that they're a 12 or a 15 or a 20.
I have Shaq shoes because I can live in them, and those are like a 24, Amin, and those are just shocking. They're so heavy to even lift.
Patrick's shoes are just normal. I worked with a guy I know.
Okay, so next question. Amin, what do those shoes mean to David Sampson? The world.
Look at me, hero. Uh-oh.
Is that for David? You worked with him is what you said of Shaq? You're in the tank for Shaq. I'm not in the tank.
I work with the guy. That's his guy, though.
He'd show up to the funeral. Do we believe that Shaq forgot that he bought a car and it just showed up at his house? And there are cameras.
There are cameras there. Exactly right.
That was a lot. Why does he do these things? You know Shaq.
Why does Shaq do these things? Because he thinks it's funny. Because he thinks it's funny.
I'll be honest with you. By and by the way 90 of the stuff doesn't make it out for a variety of reasons not the least of which is you can't do that one big fella i'm gonna tell you right now you can't do that i'll tell a story remember when he called chris bosh the rupaul of big men you guys remember remember that one? So what happened was Shaq caught the ball

and made a legal basketball move

and Chris Bosh over-exaggerated the reaction.

Refs, toss him.

Flagrant two, you're out, right?

And this was before they could review these things.

So Shaq comes to the back and sits with us in the video room

and he's literally workshopping

all the things he's going to say about

Chris Bosh at the end.

And we're like, Bigfoot, you can't say that one.

No, you cannot say that.

So then we say, what if I say he's

the RuPaul of Big Men? And we all looked

around the room and we're like, I think

that's just on this side of acceptable.

This is why DEI should exist

in all organizations.

Amin was there. What do you mean DEI?

Amin was there. I can think of some other voices

Thank you. That's just on this side of acceptable.
This is why DEI should exist in all organizations. Toeing the line.
Amin was there. What do you mean DEI? Amin was there.
I can think of some other voices that might not have loved RuPaul of Big Ben. It doesn't really mean anything.
Does it not? And yet it means everything, right? It does. That's why it toes the line.
I would side with Jeremy on this one. That Kevin Durant toe on the line.
Not surprised, though. We're too woke.
In 1984 at the Olympics, when Patrick Ewing was one of the players for Team USA to win the gold medal, what jersey number did he wear? I'll give it to you, David. I think I know which one, but go ahead.
My best guess would be six. Me too.
Six. It was number six.
The wheelhouse, ladies and gentlemen. There it is.
That includes the wheelhouse.

Thank you, David.

Thank you.

David, one last thing for the wheelhouse.

Patrick Ewing went to as many NBA finals as Jimmy Butler.

You still throw that out there.

Oh, wait.

They made the same number of rings.

That's not correct.

What do you mean?

Is that correct?

Yes.

They went to the same number.

You know what?

It's his wheelhouse, Dan.

You know what?

Hold on. Let me give you another one.
Jimmy Butler played more NBA finals games than Patrick Ewing did. You know why? Because Patrick Ewing didn't play in them second finals.
He was sitting, nursing a wrist, that injury. Who was the guy that hurt him? And what city? It was 1999, and I don't remember.
I mean, I just know that it was a nightmare that he couldn't play. That was when I believe we beat the Heat as an eight seed that year.
That was the Allen Houston shot in Miami. Game final.
But 1994 was when Jordan was retired, and he got seven finals games. So he's played a total of seven finals games, two finals, no rings.
Yes. The other finals he didn't play, Dan, was because he was hurt.
They lost to the Spurs in five games, but Jimmy Butler played in his five games. I also want to throw out real quick, David, yeah, they beat the Heat in the first round, 3-2.
Who'd they play in the second round that year? They played the Pacers in the third round. The second round would have been, could have been the Hawks.
Yes, and what was the series? We would have gotten that. It didn't go seven, so I'm going to say six.
Sorry, it was a sweep. Go ahead.
Go back to your little wheelhouse. Okay, no, you guys stink at wheelhouse.
I don't know. That was pretty good on top of his head for someone that's not supposed to be an expert.
No, but he's picking the facts that he knows, and we asked them questions, and they got them all wrong. Thank you, David, for being on with us.
Bravo, David. Showing off of your expertise.
Before the end of the show, I want this bet with Jessica, but in the meantime, we've got a stat of the day involving Jimmy Butler. Start of the day, start of the day, it is the start of the day.
Start of the day, start of the day, it is the start of the day. Start of the day, start of the day, it is the start of the day.
Start of the day. Start of the day.
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In his triumphant return to Miami, Jimmy Butler was outscored by both Davion Mitchell and Alec Burks as the Warriors scored the second fewest points they've scored in a game this season. The laziest stat of the day ever.
The laziest stat of the day ever. What would you have preferred? A stat of the day that was actually insightful.
You've cheapened the stat of the day. The stat of the day is to be respected, and it's almost always great.
That was not great. That just stunk as a stat of the day.
The stat of the day is meant to resonate historically. Like, it's meant to be something you remember

and maybe tell your friends later.

Something that people who don't know the show

might hear and repeat.

Like, wow, Shohei Otani did all of that

on half a tank of gas or whatever?

Like, that's what it should be.

Now, Dan, I want to present a theory, if I may.

I think that Jeremy was a plant.

I think Jessica was like, hey,

let me get multiple stakes on this. Jeremy, get Dan to say Jimmy Butler one more time.
And Jeremy said, I got it right now. I'll pretend I have a stat of the day.
And then Dan, he can't, you know, Dan can't resist the stat of the day. It's like putting steak in front of him.
Oh my god, a stat of the day. It's like tuna steak.
Tuna steak. A tuna steak in front of him.
And so they say, okay, Dan, we got a stat of the day. And Dan takes the bait because how could he not take the bait? We have not made the bet yet.
And therefore, I can say Jimmy Butler's name and talk about him as much as I like because the bet will be made toward the end of the show if we remember. We often don't remember.
Can we negotiate now? Also, it was always multiple stakes. Stakes? That's right.
The starting point is at least two stakes. Stakes will all wear outscored them too.
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Don Levitard.

There's sunglasses in boxes today.

But in my bed in the hospital, ending our lives all the same.

Stugatz.

It's the final nightgown. This is the Dan Levatore show with the Stugatz.
I don't think that, I think the bet has to have greater stakes than that. I think it needs to be, if we're going to build it up all show, we've got to.
I agree, but two stakes are included. I mean, stakes are pretty good.
I also agree when the stat of the day is like, hey, 20 points is more than 18 points. It's not the best.
Kyle Anderson was plus 24. It stings.
And thank you for all of your hard work. And when I say that it wasn't hard work at all.
It was incredibly lazy. So I wanted to talk about something here, March Madness related.
Can we get a poll together on the following? Because somebody made a $5 bet, $5, on the following parlay. Dodgers to win the World Series.
This is from last year. Dodgers to win the World Series.
Ohio State to win the national championship in football. The Eagles to win the Super Bowl.
Tennessee to win in college baseball to win the College World Series. Still on the way.
And now they have Duke to win the national championship. What do you think that that should pay? A $5 bet that has those five in play, what do you think that that should pay, roughly? Five figures at least.
Five? Yeah. I'm going...
High five figures. I'm going $37,000.
No, that's close to like $50,000, $60,000, $70,000. $70,000? $73,000.
So it's $168,000 on a $5 bet. And what I wanted to ask you guys is, what is the correct way to hedge that? Like is what because i'm not a i'm i'm a terrible gambler like like a really terrible gambler i'm not good at it in any way uh draft king should be ashamed for giving me any of their money but i give it all right back don't say that it's a contract i'm just saying like i i could be the worst gambler there's ever been because I just want to have one bet on one game, but a lot of games.

He is the perfect person for DraftKings to pay because, as he just said,

he's going to take all of that money right back into the Xbox book app.

They might as well be laundering their money right back. Well, no.

Where's that music?

So my guess is he'll win $7 million. We already gave it.
You weren't listening. We already gave the answer, but that's excellent producing.
You've got to let it ride, Dan, because Duke is the favorite right now. Tennessee in baseball.
You've got to let it ride. You guys wouldn't hedge that? So wait a minute.
Tony, I know that's not true. Tony, you're – no, Tony, you just had a baby.
If you made a $5 bet and you need now Duke to win the national championship for $168,000, you have to hedge that if, and I'm asking you, how do you hedge it? Do you bet $10,000, $20,000 on their next four opponents as you go to make sure that you guarantee yourself X? What's the lowest amount of money? Now, I know some people would just sell this ticket. This ticket might go.
Somebody might buy this ticket for $70,000. Like, this is something that is done, and that's how you get out.
But how do you hedge this bet? I'm sure a professional gambler would easily answer this question, but I don't know how to do it. So I was confused.
I thought it was Tennessee baseball from this season, but it's from last season, so they already won. They won it in May of 2024.
Gotcha, so it was last season. Do we know when this parlay bet was placed? Because if it was after May of 2024, then we're talking about this upcoming College World Series.
No, no, it was last College World Series. All the four bets have won.
They've already cashed everything else.

Duke is the only thing remaining.

Got it.

So forgive me for not explaining that correctly.

It's been an affliction today.

So should the poll be should this person hedge or should they write it out?

Well, first of all, I'm asking you guys.

We'll get to the poll in a second.

Thank you, Billy.

Perhaps you can help me with that and create the poll yourself.

I'll go first, Dan.

I don't know.

Good.

I have no idea. I don't know.
Look, I'm not going to say it's in the same zip code as that stat of the day, but it's close. It's close, yeah.
Move off of looking for me to answer because I don't know. All right, Dan, so here's the thing.
So the cash out, I just looked it up. The cash out for the guy is 50 grand.
So if I tell my wife, look, baby, listen, we got 50 grand cash for sure. Obviously

Uncle Sam's going to take his piece. You know, things are

going to happen, whatever. But

Duke right now, I mean, is steamrolling

teams. Like, they are not close.

They are just beating teams. Their third guy is

great, okay? You know,

you've seen Cooper Flagg, right? You get Cooper Flagg. She's like, oh, yeah,

I saw him in the select thing and the thing on Max.

I was like, yep, same guy.

He's incredible. He's going to be the number one pick.
Maybe the Wizards, maybe the Hornets. Who knows? Not the point.
The point is he's the best player in college basketball. Right now, Duke is churning.
They're the best Duke team we've seen in maybe 20 years. It's been a long time.
Baby, you know what's better than 50 grand cash? What's that? After Uncle Sam taking his piece, which, you know, we're going to leave him at like 30-something. Okay.
You know what's better than that? What's better? 168 grand. What? That's a lot of money.
I tell baby, hey, all of a sudden, Miami real estate, you know how it gonna leave me like 30 something okay you know what's better than that what's better 168 what that's a lot of money tell baby hey all of a sudden miami real estate you know how it is so jessica is saying jessica is saying uh she doesn't know and i don't know and there is a professional way to do this but what i'm asking all of you is the hypothetical would you guys hedge that or would you just try and ride it out because i would assume all of you would hedge it to guarantee yourself an amount of money that doesn't wait for whether or not Cooper Flagg's ankle goes again. And Duke can win it, obviously, without Cooper Flagg.
Well, I don't know if they can win it without Cooper Flagg. It makes it easier with Cooper Flagg.
Yeah, Cooper Flagg. I think you have to wait until you get to the final and then just absolutely monster hedge on the other team, right? Because you're still waiting.
Because right now you can't just pick Duke or the field for $50,000. I can't take a second mortgage, a HELOC out of my house and then put it on the field.
I do think that because it was a $5 bet from the jump, this changes a lot, right? If it was a huge bet with then a huge payout, maybe you continue to invest. But the fact that you only put five bucks on it, it's like ride what that feels like until the end.

And maybe you don't come up with $168,000, but in the worst case, you lost five bucks.

No, but you lost $50,000.

You didn't lose five bucks.

In the worst case, you lost $50,000.

What kind of math are you doing?

Terrible math.

This is why I was a journalism major, Dan.

He couldn't sell it to his wife.

That's the issue.

There you go.

Number one.

Number two, this is what's giving you that kind of stat of the day.

Arithmetic.

Okay, why is he in charge of the stat of the day if he doesn't know basic math? We're going to understand. I was really good at calculus.
Were you? Yeah, I got a five on the AP exam. U plus me equals us.
There it is. 50 grand, Dan.
50 grand is a lot of money. Yeah.
168 is more. What I'm asking you guys is do you have the confidence in Duke to lose $118,000? Do you have the confidence in Duke to bet $118,000 that they're going to win their next four games? Tony, you've got to sell it again.
Hold on. Again, Cooper Flagg, you've seen him, Dan.
You saw when they threw him that alley-oop, and he screamed as he dunked. And then he got off on the court and was like, ah! Is there a cash-out option for $50,000? Yeah.
Right now. Right now he can cash-out for $50,000.
Right now you can cash-out. But again, Uncle Sam takes his.
Have you not been listening to this segment? He hasn't. He hasn't been listening at all.
It's crazy. He's losing only $5 actual dollars that he bet.
That's what I'm saying. Thank you, Billy.
Thank you, Billy. What he's put into it is $5.
Are we crazy? That $50,000 is $5. What is happening right now? He's giving up the opportunity to take $50,000, but he's also missing out on the opportunity to win $98,000, $108,000.
If a genie showed up now, Billy, and just said to you, hey, I can either give you $50,000 now, or we can wait and see if Duke wins and I'll give you $168,000. What are you doing? Are you saying, no thanks, genie, and you're walking away? I mean, I mean, I would take it.
You take the 50 or you say, I'll hold out for Duke? No, I'll take the 50. There you go.
Then that's your answer. It's easy money, but Tony's talking me into, you know, the 168.
By the way, Con Canipple, another guy in the lottery, K2, very good from the outside, but can mix it in with the big boy's inside. Big body.
They got Malouk, who's incredible, too. Are you pronouncing those names correctly? Con Canipple yes a lot of the other guy no it doesn't seem like canipple should i but i know it is because i've watched him play but it just doesn't seem i saw people being critical of tony earlier saying he was mispronouncing multiple names on duke not today earlier cooper flag and con canipple is exactly how you say it so So whoever that guy is, dork.
I want to combine spoiler Wednesdays with this current Duke conversation for a moment. Did you guys see that, and this is a White Lotus light spoiler, so fast forward if you don't want to know anything about the most recent episode.
It's a spoiler Wednesday. I thought we were allowed to do whatever we wanted on Wednesday.
I'm still giving the spoiler alert. Duke was not happy with the usage of their trademark in the most recent episode of the White Lotus.
And they released a statement saying, The White Lotus not only uses our brand without permission, but in our view uses it on imagery that is troubling, does not reflect our values or who we are and simply goes too far and then they further talked about you know suicide

awareness and things like that but i want to know who the duke person is that mike white the creator of white lotus hates because the usage of duke in the last episode is something that if you haven't seen on social media yet is going to become a meme for our times yeah all right let's take this to poll. Do you believe that Duke will win four games? Yes or no? Ooh.
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21 over. Can we also put on the poll, are you losing $5 or $50,000? You guys don't like that Duke is pissed that they're in a funny meme now? I love it.
I love it. But also, I'm not fond of Duke.
That's why. He just really hates Greg Paulus.
That's why it's funny. Dude, that's an interesting question.
Who is the person? It's Christian Leitner. You think so? It could be Grayson Allen.
No, it's J.J. Reddick.
J.J. Reddick is another good one.
We already had this conversation. Those are the three Mount Rushmore guys at Duke.
I don't know who's number four on annoying guy. The secret sauce.
Is it Shane Battier? I hate Shane Battier. Does Coach K count? Of course he does.
All right, let's make that fourth spot. Also, wait, Mike White's 54.
I thought he was a little younger, so it probably is Christian Laettner. Yeah, Christian Laettner.
So we have on the Mount Rushmore of most annoying Duke players ever. Because if what you're telling me, like, man, Cooper Flagg, Boston's going to really want him.
So is Utah. Oh, Utah, Dan.
Utah is salivating right now. Danny Ainge left everything Boston to go, I'll build you out here.
I'll build you out here with Cooper Flag in Utah. So you know the Vince McMahon meme of like he's going and he's leaning back.
That's Utah. The first one is like, what if I gave you Laurie Markkinen? Oh, that's pretty interesting.
Then the next one is like, what if I give you Walker Kessler? And then the third one is, what do I give you Filipowski. And then the fourth one, Cooper flag.
The laser shooting out of his eyes. That's how it goes for Utah.
Well, you guys are saying, you have to understand, okay? So you've got John Skipper and David Sampson asking the question, how do we pay these people? And what does it mean if Duke, we're all watching Duke and we're like, whoa, them in Florida, they look a lot better than everybody else.

This is pronounced.

This looks like they're, yeah, maybe somehow Calipari can sneak some Calipari magic in somewhere. But we're watching, you tell me if there's a third team that belongs in here.
because Duke and Florida, to me, look like they're a level above professional,

between professional above professional. Between professional basketball and what's now minor league basketball, they seem to be a good deal better.
So if I make Duke better at recruiting and better at money than everyone, when I'm walking around now doing the absurd thing of saying, yeah, your roster costs 20 million. That's what it costs in college football.
You got to have 20 million dollars. If Duke gets all of the winning and they have a monopoly on annoying guys right throughout history, there's no other school.
Is there another school that you assign even two annoying guys to for a Mount Rushmore in the history of college basketball, is there another school that you would say, I've got two Mount Rushmore America hated this person? When you're talking about everything that Duke represents, all of it, Redick, Grayson Allen, and Christian Laettner are all-time hated players. I don't even know if we can make those anywhere outside of Duke anymore.
Like an all-time hated player because of the school you're at, because we know you're good, because you're arrogant, because you think you're better than everyone, and you slap the court on defense. Hate that.
I hate that. So much.
Oh, you play defense. Wojo's a good one.
Wojo should be on that Mount Rushmore, man. If we're going with coaches, that's a different story because I think Dan Hurley has arrived.
Oh, man. He's way worse than Coach K.
Way more polarizing than Coach K for sure. I think coaches actually, there's a conversation.
Patino, people didn't like Patino. Coach Cal, people really didn't like Coach Cal.
Bobby Knight, obviously. Bobby Knight.
No, it's easy with coaches. No, I'm talking about players.
Players only. I'm asking America to give me the program that's got a player that you recoil with the three I just named with.
That guy just annoys me. It's not even, it's not because he's a, it's not because he's a bad person.
It's just, it's your face. It's your face.
I'm gonna, it's, this is gonna lose perhaps the shipping container, Dan, but Indiana and Steve Alford, people really didn't like that dude, man. The Fab Five.
It was their shorts. More than the shorts.
Their shoes. You saw the story about UConn threatening the reporter who posted the video of Dan Hurley, right? I mean, that's some evil villain shit.
Bobby Mullen, the SID over at UConn, which I love, he threatened him, he said, I will end you, right? He says that. I will ruin you.
I will ruin you. And then they come out with the statement afterward, and it said, new at six, SID threatens reporter or whatever.
I'm like, guy, you can't start your apology with shtick. Or can you? He did.
And I thought it was glorious. Really quick, really quick.
I mean, I have a question because you talked about Utah and Walker Kessler, Rory Markkinen, Cooper Flagg possibly, Filipowski. Could they field an all-white starting lineup? I'm glad you asked that because just the other night in Los Angeles, the Bulls fielded an all-white lineup.
They scored 150 with an all-white lineup on Luke and LeBron? Dude, that team is so good. They're fun.
Yeah, they're fun. So we revealed this on Basketball Illuminati the other day, and I was like, is that right? No, I don't even think they have five white players.
But nope, it was right. They had five whites on the floor.
It was Matas Buzelas. Who's not bad, by the way.
They're giving him minutes. He's looking good.
I just realized the joke. Thank you.
It was Matas Buzelas. It was...
Oh, sorry. That sounds like you're going to the bathroom.
What happened there? Josh Giddy. Looking for the white guys.
Kevin Herter. Kevin Herter.
Vucevic. That sounds like you're going to the bathroom.
What happened there? Josh Giddy. Looking for the white guys.
There you go. Giddy has been playing incredible, by the way.
Kevin Herter, probably. Kevin Herter, Vucevic, and Kobe White.
Five whites. Five whites and one of them actually named White.
There you go. Well, that one.
Four whites and one named White. Oh, I thought, wait a minute.
Forgive me. I was going to trade for Derek White.
No, Kobe White's already there. Yeah yeah we didn't need him but boston could counter with porzingis luke cornett pritchard pritchard hauser and derrick white white versus white that would be the great uh nba finals ratings right can i can i just examine for a second uh i simply want to examine an SID, a sports information director.
So this is somebody who is working in communications, who their job is to disseminate sports information. Do you realize how great a threat it is to be able to shout at someone, I will ruin you.
The confidence you have to have to shout something like that in public and the rage that you have to have to shout something like that at somebody, at a journalist. I know of some journalists who have yelled stuff like that.
I can't think of a single SID that I know in real life that would fly off the handle like this. The job of the SID is also to make the team look good and to make the players look good, to have media relations where they're like, hey, we're the good guys here.
We didn't do anything wrong. And he's like, I'll ruin you for posting a thing that actually happened that we all heard.
When your job is to disseminate sports information that you don't want disseminated. That's why I love his apology, because it starts at the sarcastic.
New at six. SID gets angry at reporter for saying something.
That's how he started his apology. Like, I went off the handle a little bit.
But first, some shtick. So good, though, that I'll ruin you.
Hurley is, and gosh, I love when these coaches are content machines. His arrogance is earned.
Of course. And he knows it.
Like he speaks it. He yells it at referees.
And it's I'm stunned to see it because Belichick didn't behave that way. Like there have been people who have been as great as he has, and he descends from coaching, so he really, his whole story crafted by Woj and a basketball family of how it is that they rule basketball in the Northeast because they teach it better, they have respect.
The Hurleys have respect. Oh, Hurley's a good dukated guy.
There you go. His brother is a good ducated guy.
The Hurley name feels like it's basketball royalty. It is.
In the Northeast, where they celebrate the Whites. There's no other point I wanted to make there.
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