MacGruber: Remembering Val Kilmer

This episode of the Lonely Island Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Makers Mark.

We are celebrating Women's History Month by recognizing the spirited women in our lives and remembering Maker's Mark co-founder Margie Samuels.

You too can celebrate the spirited women in your life with a free personalized label to go with a bottle of Maker's Mark.

Head to makersmarkpersonalize.com and fill in the details in order to create and mail your custom label.

Makers Mark makes their bourbon carefully.

Please enjoy it that way.

Maker's Mark, Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, 45% alcohol per volume.

Copyright 2025, Maker's Mark Distillery, Incorporated, Loretto, Kentucky.

It's the lonely island,

and Seth Meyer's podcast.

All right, I'm going to jump in.

Hey, everybody.

Yes!

I'm Andy.

Oh, no.

So, Jorm, just to clarify, I said I'm going to jump jump in and you took that as your opportunity to just start screaming in the microphone.

I'm so jacked up for this episode.

All right.

So, Yorm is today's Andy, but he's also today's Yorm and he's also today's Akiva.

Yeah.

But we're joined by a couple other people.

We're having a special episode of the Lonely Island of Seth Myers podcast.

We have reinvited back previous guests, John Solomon and Will Forte.

Hello, gentlemen.

Hello.

Hello.

Johnny, Will, Johnny.

We had always wanted you guys to come back on to talk about more Magruber stuff, including the movie.

And then very sadly, we had a reason to speed that process up.

Our dear friend Val Kilmer passed away.

I highly recommend everybody go and read a beautiful piece that Will had published in New York Magazine.

It was very lovely the way you talked about Val.

And I thought maybe we could talk about him some more on this here podcast today.

We could talk about him for a year and it wouldn't cover even a dent of who he was.

Loaded up.

He's the world's deadliest villain.

Sir.

He's ruthless.

No speed crushing.

Yep.

And brilliant.

Straight flush.

Damn it.

I'm going to turn Washington, D.C.

into a pile of ash.

He's known only as Dieter.

And until now, he's been unstoppable.

What the world needs is a hero who's so top secret, we don't even know his full name.

Hello, Magruber.

Can we just start with the casting of Val Kilmer in Magruber as a character, Dieter von Kunth?

Yes, yeah.

Dieter von Kunth.

So

in the very writing of the script, you have eliminated probably 85% of actors who just are going to harden all.

I think it's a testament to either he didn't read the name of the character because he did.

He was at the table read.

And I don't know if we talked about this, that he admitted to us afterwards that he read it cold and he nailed it like just absolutely nailed the part yes i think not only would 85 of actors not want to play a character named dieter von kant i think probably 99 of agents don't want to call their clients and say hey there's a part i think you're perfect for

for for people who don't know the process we went into the table read not having the role cast he was just coming to the table read as a favor like not even to any of i don't know who who he was doing the favor for because none of of us knew him.

So we were so excited to have him at this table read.

It had to be Lauren, right?

Yeah, it must have he was just doing a favor and we were so excited that he was even just doing the table read.

But I don't think at any point we were like, oh, Val Kilmer would ever be a part of this movie.

Just because of him.

I mean, obviously, I think we were pretty excited he was doing it.

It was shocking.

Like, honestly, just for all of us being just such massive fans of Top Secret to Me was the first movie that I saw where I watched it and like was doubled over most of the time.

I can't remember how old I was watching it, but thinking like, I didn't know that adults could be this funny was my first thing.

And so like, so just to have this man who like was such a part of our childhoods and that movie across from us and then finding out that he was reading it entirely cold and just crushing.

Yeah, Deer Run Kant.

I will say this though.

He did do the movie.

There was one joke though that he refused to do, which was that we did want to cut his penis off and shove it in his mouth.

That was the one joke that he did not want to do.

Yeah.

I think now it's especially a good decision on his part.

Like, I don't think anybody, it would be even harder to talk about him now.

Had you guys made this poor person do this?

I missed Top Secret, and I definitely saw Top Gun first.

To know him as Iceman first and then retroactively see Top Secret.

I mean, those are like two of his first, what, three movies?

And he does the absolute opposite poles of what you think someone is capable of doing.

Like so deeply funny and so like heartbreakingly cool.

Were those his first three?

So it was Top Secret, Real Genius, and then

Top Gun?

Yeah.

At the time, he was telling his agent he would only do movies with Top in the title.

Right.

Yeah.

And then Real Genius.

It was like two for me, one for you.

Well, it was originally called Top Genius.

Right.

Did he want you to change the name of Magruber?

He did.

Yeah, we sucked him in by calling it Top Gruber Top.

You know, we say, how do you get him to your table?

Read like that is one of the things Lauren delivers on is he gets people, you know, Valett hosted SNL in 2000.

I'm sure, like a lot of people, he had an incredible experience and then felt indebted to Lauren.

And so Lauren sort of probably pulled the strings to get him there.

And then.

Will, knowing you, I would imagine during the read of Magruber at the table, you're having a million other thoughts.

You're performing, you're probably over-analyzing how the script is playing, what's good, what's bad.

Did you also give yourself space to be like, holy shit, Val Kilmer's crushing?

I usually am in too much of a state of focus.

Like, I'll focus on maybe things that aren't working, but I maybe won't be giving credit to the things that are.

It's like all the worry space in my head goes to the parts that are.

From what I remember, the table read went pretty well, but like he was fantastic.

Yes, it was hard not to acknowledge how great he was doing.

For me, just because the nervousness that you have for how much energy we put into the script and how much we wanted this to work, obviously, for like, this is our chance to show that it can work, that it's going to be funny in front of an audience or a small audience.

And I remember that nervousness of like, for everyone, is it going to work?

And the moment he said his first line, I was just like, oh my God, like, it's him.

It's like, it's absolutely him.

Like, we were iffy on other people, like, it took us a second to like even figure out Ryan's character and blah, blah, blah.

And Ryan crushes it.

And then to know that you're like, he's just reading it for the first time.

But that is what you learn from anybody who's in top secret, which is the comedy McGrouber is to play it like it's not comedy.

Yeah.

Which is, I think very few people, you know, I think it's always the risk when people, even when people who are known as serious actors get invited to host SNL, sometimes they push it too far as to what they think comedy is, but he really understood the game, which is, oh, I'll just play it super.

What did he say?

I feel like he screamed something in the last scene, which is one of my favorite moments in McGruber.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

There's some

he screamed something, but every single take he would do, he would scream and then keep his mouth open as if he was continuing to scream, but he stopped the sound part of it.

So he'd go like, McGruber!

McGruber!

He screams Macron and then keeps his mouth open.

What a funny take.

Yeah, it's even a harder cut sound-wise.

It's so awesome.

He doesn't complete the word.

He goes, Magoobert.

I've seen McGrouber so many times, and yet there's something so off the wall about the way he does that, it catches me by surprise every time.

Oh, God.

You know what I mean?

There's all, I always forget that he made that choice.

Solomon, you probably were maybe more able to at the table read, be judging how people were doing.

Do you remember your bounce on what Val was like at the table?

It was just the same thing that Joram was saying, just complete like shock at how fantastically villainous he was and just also how hard to figure out what was going on in his brain, which was so fascinating and funny.

Every choice he made was just fascinating.

His first line is open it.

And I remember being like, wow, that was really good.

Yeah.

Those two words.

Yeah.

Just so much gravitas

with all of it.

And just like, everything was deadly serious.

He just like played it so real, all of it.

Can we, can we just talk like just for a second?

Cause I know we each probably have our favorite foul stories.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I can't wait to get into the behind the scenes foul stories.

Oh my God.

Well, just let me just tell you this.

So in meeting him for the first time, I drove out to Malibu to meet him and his door was open.

He just wanted wanted me to walk in.

The door was open to his house on the Malibu coast, looking out over this beautiful, you know, it's the beautiful sea, whatever, Pacific.

And I go in the house and he's on the balcony and he's throwing something into the ocean.

He's throwing these little chips or something into the ocean and he's going, are you a king?

Are you a king?

And I was like, what?

And he comes back into the room.

He's turned away from me.

And he comes back into the room and he starts tossing these little paper chips at me.

These little chips.

And I'm like, what are these?

And I start looking at them.

And it takes me like a couple minutes to figure out that he was invited to Mardi Gras that year to play King Baucus or whatever.

The guy who like leads the float.

And these are little paper chips that he's supposed to be throwing out to the crowd with his face on it.

And he was saying that he was a king, but it was just the leaps of logic.

Was he practicing?

No, he was just messing with me i think it was just like this wonderful like i'm this is how i'm meeting the director of this film that i'm gonna work on from jump i was like oh god this guy like he was such this wonderful we went to lunch and i was just like right after the lunch i remember driving home with mari my wife and was texting i was texting val after this lunch and i was like can i say this to it seemed like logically what i should be responding to what he just said was i was writing back my friends will kill your friends.

I don't remember how we got to that part in the conversation, me texting him.

I was like, can I write this to Val Kilmer?

Like, it seems like that's what I should be saying to this man right now.

Like, he was such this wonderful ball buster of a human being, like, just fucking with life and just, it just, he was such a, on every level, the most interesting mind.

And yeah, I, he will, I will forever remember that particular meeting.

And so fun and like silly.

like he'd have this way of like talking very seriously to you, but very silly, but with no wink

at all.

And it was so disarming and fun.

And then he'd kind of, then just the teeniest bit of a wink would come in at a certain point.

So you're like, okay, good.

He's fucking around.

This episode of the Lonely Island Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Makersmark.

And I'm with some of my friends right now.

Hi, guys.

Hello.

Hi.

You know, Margie Samuels was a spirited woman.

She was also the co-founder of Maker's Mark.

I don't have to tell you guys this stuff.

No.

No, we know it, but our listeners might not.

So continue.

All right.

Well, in honor of Women's History Month, we wanted to toast some of the spirited women in our lives.

That was my idea, actually.

These guys were thinking about not doing it.

I was like, we should.

Yeah.

You are in many ways as trailblazing as Margie Samuels, Jorm.

And I often said that.

Well, I kept saying, I want to mark this day with a Maker's Mark.

And you guys kept saying, what does that mean?

I was like, it means a toast, guys.

Way to land the plane, buddy.

Thank you.

Thank you, Seth.

I want to tell a story about a spirited woman I saw during the 50th.

And I was a little bit lucky because I was there on Friday for some rehearsal action.

And I got to watch the Close Encounters rehearsal with Kate McKinnon.

And I feel it's the most I've ever watched an actor's process.

Guys, I'm going to wrap this up.

You too can celebrate the spirited women in your life with a free personalized label to go with the bottle of Makers Mark.

Head to makersmarkpersonalized.com and fill in the details in order to create and mail your custom label.

Don't forget to grab a bottle of MakersMark to go with it.

MakersMark makes their bourbon carefully.

Please enjoy it that way.

Makers Mark, Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, 45% alcohol per volume.

Copyright 2025 Maker's Mark Distillery, Incorporated, Loretto, Kentucky.

Support comes from Veori, right, Seth?

Yorm, I am looking at you right now and you are Yormori, which is what I call you when you are wearing incredibly versatile and comfortable Veori clothes designed to look great beyond the gym, whether you're running errands, heading to the office, or meeting up with friends.

And you know what I like about you?

When you head to the office, you're also meeting up with friends because you work with your friends.

I do and I go to the gym right after the office.

So it works great.

It's very versatile.

You know what I like?

There's a short, the short that started all for Viori.

Fitness versatility like you've never seen, Yorm.

One short, every sport, ideal for fitness running and training, but also stylish and comfortable enough to wear all day.

It's soft, Yorm.

It's lightweight.

You don't have to to tell me I'm wearing it right now, Seth.

Yeah, I can tell.

You got four-way performance stretch.

Moves with you, no restrictions.

I feel it.

Do you like your comfort and support built-in, Yorm, or do you like it separate?

And every time you put on the shorts, you have to sew the two together.

I used to like it separate, and then I grew up, you know?

Yeah.

So there you go.

Built in for your

fiori is an investment in your happiness for our listeners.

They're offering 20% off your first purchase.

Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at viore.com slash island.

That's v-u-o-r-i.com slash island.

Exclusions apply.

Visit the website for full terms and conditions.

Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S.

orders over $75 in free returns.

Go to viori.com slash island and discover the versatility of Viori clothing.

Exclusions apply.

Visit the website for full terms and condition.

Do you guys remember when he first showed up on set and was just visiting and he was dressed in this like all-white linen suit with like a bolo tie and i can't remember what he was wearing but i was just like this man is amazing like it was just his day off and he like wanted to come visit us the just the level of dedication and fun and there was a million of those stories i reached out to my friend dave stassen who's a really talented writer in la and when we first moved in la late 90s it was just so exciting anytime anyone saw a famous person none of us were in show business yet but he was working at the chateau marmont and uh basically the kind of guy who would go out and help you unload your luggage.

And I remember he came home and said, Val Kilmer and his assistant pulled up in like a Volvo station wagon, and he was staying in the farthest away bungalow, so it was a long walk for anybody who was carrying his luggage.

And he said it was just filled with like so many bags and so much junk.

And he said, What do you need out of the car?

And Val said, I guess bring it all.

And then he said, There was like a hundred loose tennis balls, too.

And so, as a joke, Dave said, You want the tennis balls?

And Val goes, Yeah,

I might need those.

And so, so Dave said he had to make like multiple trips, like holding his shirt open with just loose tennis balls.

And he said, By the time he got to the bungalow, Val had taken, there was a, it was a two-bedroom bungalow.

He had taken the mattresses off the bed and built like a mattress for it in front of the fireplace.

He was like, The speed in which this guy was crazier and like more memorable than anybody else.

Oh, he was, yes, he was nothing but memorable.

Oh, my God.

I also, there's a place called, I think it's called the Artichoke Cafe in Albuquerque.

I don't know if you guys remember that restaurant.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I remember that place.

I went there a lot.

But we went to dinner there with, I remember Lauren and Val.

And I remember it because my wife's from Albuquerque.

And so we go back.

And so I've eaten at that restaurant since with like my in-laws.

and people I love, but I'm always acutely aware that this is a thousand times more boring than the time I was was here with Bal Kilmer,

who brought all these photos of his ranch in New Mexico and was just with like these beautiful photos.

He's like, Yeah, it's like 75 acres.

IRS, I think, might be taking it away tomorrow.

Like he kept like, he was like, the amount of like incredible land and deep tax trouble he had.

And he was talking about it.

Didn't seem like his heart rate went up at all when he discussed it.

No, I think that that was like.

Gorman, you've been there, right?

Yeah.

Wait, did you guys, did you guys come with me to visit him?

I I didn't get to go.

You were there before we got out there.

I think maybe just me and Mari went, and it was this awesome, awesome place.

Like, it had Buffalo on it.

Like, it was so cool, but it was 6,000 acres.

Oh, that year.

There was a six-mile river running through it.

Like, it was just this crazy.

So, yeah, it was unfortunate that he had to, because I think he wanted to, like, you know, really make it into an artist's compound.

Usually, when you have that much land and you want to turn into an artist's compound, that's usually a dead giveaway that the IRS is about to show us.

Now,

you wrote about this, Will, but I do remember that you thought he was maybe going to stay with you for a couple days.

Yes.

This is after McGruber.

It was after Magruber.

He was about to sell his place in New Mexico, and he was having a dispute with his landlord.

And so he said, looking for a new place in Malibu.

Can I stay with you?

I was at a party at his place, the place he was leaving, probably on a Saturday.

And he said, yeah, can I stay with you till I get this place?

I think it's, you know, probably Thursday or something.

I'm pretty sure he set a date because I had in my head, this is just a couple of days.

Which

wouldn't have been a deal breaker anyway, but it was very easy to just say, oh, yeah, of course.

And then he shows up.

And the first or second day that he was there, his assistant, Jamie, showed up with two huge duffel bags filled with books.

And I was like, ooh, this is,

this is

Books is the funniest thing.

A bad sign.

Maybe Thursday is not going to be the end of this.

Yeah.

And it ended up being two and a half months.

And

we weren't there together at the same time the whole time.

Like he'd be in and out.

I'd be in and out.

But I mean, we were there for a good chunk together.

And it was just so much fun.

coming back.

Okay.

Well, there's, there's a couple things I want to ask you about.

Okay.

Because I remember you saying that I felt like you like pulled up in like a purple Porsche.

I feel like that was like the car that he was driving at the time.

I don't remember if that's true, but it certainly was he was driving when I first met him,

which is great to then stay at your house.

And then also that Jamie would like make smoothies for him in the kitchen, which is really funny to stay at a guy's house and then have their assistant be making smoothies in the morning for them.

I

don't remember the Porsche, and I do kind of remember the smoothies.

I do remember the smoothies.

The main thing I remember, he was watching a ton of 30 Rock.

And so I'd go in all the time and all the lights would be out.

Whenever I'd get back, no outside lights would be on, nothing.

It was just like completely dark house.

And I'd go in and there'd be like a little, little hum of light under the door.

And I'd be going up and I'd just hear him say, hey.

And I'd say, oh, hey, what are you doing?

He's like, I'm watching 30 Rock.

And this show is so great.

And I'm like, oh my God, this is awesome.

And then the other source of light that would come in, he, I had gone to Burning Man and had one of those like minor lights, you know, those headlamp things.

And so he would just be reading some of those books that had come in the duffel bag.

He'd just be reading with that light on.

No lights in the entire house on.

It's just like that, that light.

And it was so funny.

Wait, Forte in the article, because I haven't been able to read it.

Did you tell the story about the jogging or no?

I did tell the story about the jogging.

Oh my God.

It's so good.

Can you just tell it again just because it's verbally?

So I was going to go for a jog and he said, hey, maybe I'll go for a jog with you.

And I said, okay, great.

Yeah.

I'm going to go pretty soon.

So yeah, let's get ready and we'll meet up in.

five minutes.

And so I'm, you know, getting ready, putting my shoes on.

I'm waiting.

He's sitting there in this like white linen suit.

And I'm like, okay, I'm pretty much ready to go.

You know, I'm, I'm backed up against schedule-wise.

I, I only have a certain amount of time to run.

So I really kind of have to go now.

And he's like, oh, yeah, I'm ready.

And I'm like, but you're going to, you're going to jog in what you're wearing.

And he's like, yeah, let's do it.

And so we go out.

He's even got like this little, I don't remember what kind of hat, but it was like a.

you know, a hat that would go with the white linen suit.

Like it might have been a straw hat.

Isn't he wearing loafers too?

He was like wearing loafers or topsiders, something like that.

Probably, probably loafers, but like, yeah, we, we walked down, started jogging a little bit.

And

there's like a public restroom down by the beach.

And so we'd go by that.

And he's like, hey, I'm going to peel off and go to the bathroom real quick.

So I said, all right.

So

I'll keep going.

So I jogged down to the end of this stretch, which is kind of by shutters, restaurant for anybody who knows Santa Monica.

And then I turned around.

I was going to go back down, which would mean that I would pass him.

And that was one of the greatest feasts for my eyes of all time was just coming down and then catching sight of him jogging in that suit just just alone towards me and then he caught up and i you know we started jogging a little bit

it was that was just like a million things like that i am glad i was glad to read that you have regret about it for today because buzz got out i mean again we were all so happy to know that val kilmer was living with you.

That was deeply funny to anybody.

I mean, it just was so wonderful.

Again, you're a particular guy.

You like things a certain way.

Val Kilmer is the loosest of cannons.

It was the comedy of it.

I mean, anytime somebody said, have you heard the latest about Will and Val, it was just a feast.

But you guys dabbled with the idea of doing the amazing race together.

Yes.

And yes.

So I was in a period where I was watching a lot of Amazing Race and he came back and said, you know, gave me shit for watching it, you know, oh, that's going to rot your brain.

And I said, like, it's a pretty good show.

I think you would enjoy it if you watched it.

So he sat down and he got kind of into it.

And then I, you know, we would from time to time be watching more amazing race.

And eventually he just said, we got to do the amazing race.

We've got, let's do it.

And I'm like, I would love to do it.

And we both called our agents and they, it was a resounding no.

I don't know why, because I talked to them now.

I told my agents that story and they're like, oh, you should have done that.

I'm like, you fuckers were the ones who told us not to.

I mean, Mike White did it.

It's going great for him.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

That's such a shame.

That's such a shame.

I would have.

Solomon, do you remember those days?

And did you go over to Will's place often when Val was living there?

Yeah.

And I lived pretty close to Will and I would go over to his place pretty often.

And just even though I had worked with Val, like the context of walking into a house and looking over on the couch and seeing Val Kilmer laying under a blanket at 1.30 p.m.

reading a book, even though I knew him, I just could not compute.

Do you guys remember the party?

Like it was this moment of feeling so in awe of all of the people he knew because I remember meeting like the Harmony Corinns of the world.

I met a woman who had survived the bombing in hiroshima in like a bank vault who was like 90 years old he he found these people that he connected to like spiritually or creatively or like emotionally like whatever it was that like drew him to people and it made you genuinely feel so special to be like oh we're included in this group of like awesome misfits and like people that he relates to for whatever reason.

One time he called us up and he said, hey, I'm in New York.

Are you guys in New York?

And we were, I think it might have been the year, like right after we had made Macruber, but we were still editing it.

And he was like staying at this super rich guy's house.

And we went over there and it was like a place that had, I don't know, would you say $40 million worth of art?

It was over $100 million worth of art.

in this one apartment.

Like some Warhol piss paintings and huge war halls.

There was a Basquiat in the kitchen that was probably like a $5 million paint.

Like, I have no idea what it would have cost.

And with like sun drenching on it.

You're like, whoa.

I will tell you that John Lutz, who we all know, who's a writer at late night today, told me that story because he went with you guys.

Yeah.

Dan had breakfast at this house.

And he said that you guys were all taking pictures.

And then Val reached out like a day later and was like, hey, maybe delete all those pictures of the art.

I think Val was constantly living in a world where like the biggest villain for him was the IRS.

Yes.

And every friend he knew, the villain was the IRS.

Yes.

I don't know if it was that trip or a later trip, but like I would text with him sometimes and he was in New York and he said, hey, what are you doing?

And I was like,

just hanging out.

What's going on?

He's like, let's go take a walk.

And I was like, sure, I'll go take a walk with you.

So we started walking.

And we got to Paragon Sports, which is a sports store.

Just north of Union Square, yeah.

We go inside.

He goes, come on up here.

I want to show you something.

We walk up these stairs.

He walks me over to the knife counter where you have all the hunting knives laid out.

The salesman looks at him, obviously knows him, and is like, hey, Val, clearly he's a regular customer coming in here looking at the knife.

He points out a knife.

It's like a pearl-handled, you know, flip-open hunting knife.

He goes, let me see that one.

And the guy pulls it out, kind of makes small talk with him.

They're obviously buds.

And he just gives it to me.

He goes, Feel that.

Feel how heavy that is.

He just, you know, is appreciating this knife.

And then, and then we put it away.

And he just loved hunting knives.

And then we kept walking.

And after we got to the end of the walk, he's like, okay, I got to go.

Here, take this.

I don't want it.

And he gave me a $50 Paragon Sports gift certificate card.

And I still have it.

Like, I'll probably frame it.

Support comes from acorns, right, Seth?

Yeah.

And hey, Jorn, you know what each month is.

So if I said, what month is April?

You would immediately say it's January, Financial Literacy Month.

You thought April was January?

You know what?

Actually, can I tell you something funny?

My brother recently was like, this is like five years ago, was like, I don't even know the months in order, dude.

And I was like, what?

Your brother doesn't know the months in order?

I don't feel like I'm salting him out too much.

He was like, he was like, I know most of them.

And then I I get to like September.

And then I'm like, November?

And I'm like, oh, I don't know, man.

I don't think this is something you should be proud of.

Well, this is actually going to tie in nicely with the ad because here's the thing about acorns.

Acorns Early is a very helpful way to teach your kids about money or money lessons you learn too late in life.

Now, obviously, you know, with the Tacones, they needed one of these for the months of the year.

Yeah, that's just a calendar.

You know what I mean?

But there's already an app for that.

But this Acorns app is something special.

It's a perfect time to start teaching kids value money.

Acorns early makes it easy with their smart money app and debit cards for kids i know in your house it's probably the same bizarre as yorm but you can't just like hand your kids money you have to you know make them earn it you can try you can try to make them earn it but they still get a low once regardless so it's like it's really like how do you do that acorns early's chores tracker teaches kids that hard work pays off jorm real quick just because now i have my doubts what comes after october november all right so there you go no i didn't say i had that problem but then i kind of thought thought maybe you were projecting.

Sometimes when people are embarrassed about something about them, they pretend like it's about a different person.

There's no one I can think of that does that.

Okay.

If you're ready to help your kids grow money skills that will last a lifetime, just head to acornsearly.com/slash island or download the Acorns Early app to get started.

Sign up now.

And your first month is on us.

Acorns Early card is issued by Community Federal Savings Bank member FDIC pursuant to license by MasterCard International.

Terms and conditions apply, monthly subscription fees starting from $5 per month unless canceled.

Support comes from ExpressVPN, right, Seth?

Yeah.

Going online without ExpressVPN is like not having a passcode on your phone.

It's psychotic.

It's psychotic.

You're being psychotic.

Yeah, big time.

You're making it insanely easy for anyone who steals your phone to also steal your whole digital life.

It's almost like you want that to happen.

That's psychotic.

Every time you connect to an unencrypted network, cafes, hotels, airports, your online data is not secure.

Any hacker on the same network can gain access to and steal your personal data.

Passwords, bank logins, credit card details.

Yorm, I bet you're the guy.

Don't take this wrong way, Yorm.

I bet you have the same password for every account.

No, I switch it slightly every time and then I forget what the password is.

Gotcha.

So

here's the thing.

It doesn't take much technical knowledge to hack someone.

Just some cheap hardware is needed.

A smart 12-year-old could do it.

Your data is valuable.

So I like using ExpressVPN because, look, there's a lot of times where I'm in my local cafe because, you know, I like to hobnob.

Yeah, you get out there.

And my cafe, I'm not going to name names, is populated with smart 12-year-olds.

And as we've established earlier in the ad, they can't be trusted.

Oh, very true.

So I see a smart 12-year-old.

I'm using ExpressVPN.

It's easy to use.

You fire up the app, you click one button to get protected.

Works on all devices, phones, laptops, tablets, and more.

So you can stay secure on the go.

Secure Secure your online data today by visiting expressvpn.com slash island.

That's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N.com slash island.

To find out how, you can get up to four extra months free, expressvpn.com slash

island.

Island.

He was such a sweet dude.

This is another story I told in that article, but while we were making Magrubra, I showed up one day.

John and I drove in together, and he had this red plaid shirt on, on, like this kind of a hunter-type shirt.

And I was like, Really, especially back in that day, that was just exactly the shirts I was wearing.

And I was like, Oh, that's a great shirt.

I love that.

John, isn't that exactly my style of shirt?

And John said, Yeah, yeah.

And Val just like took it off just immediately without even hesitating, took it off.

It was the only shirt he was wearing.

Then he's just sitting out there, you know, naked on the wait.

He's naked.

Wait,

Not naked from the waist up.

That's how people describe it.

Naked waistcoat.

Just in pants, just hanging.

And then we just continued talking.

You know, it was like just so him.

He was such a sweetheart.

And, you know, knew all these super fancy people, but also knew just a bunch of people who weren't fancy and who were just like the most interesting guy with the most interesting connections.

He could meet people anywhere.

And just like he was fascinating to talk to and fascinated in people.

And he would lock in on you and just,

just

bore into you for information.

It just was fascinating.

He was fascinated by people.

I think that's why he was such a good actor because he would like study people.

He was fascinating to look at as well.

I mean, Felcomer is one of those genuine movie stars

where.

in the way that you said you just can't get used to him no matter how sweet and human he is i mean intermittently over the years he would send me you know very nice text

And, you know, again, we've all been lucky enough to meet people who are incredibly well known and incredibly accomplished.

But I always sort of felt like I wanted to gasp when I got a text from Val Kilmer.

Yeah.

He was so magnetic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then to also be the kind of guy who was game to do McGruber, you know, I mean, he did great stuff after as well.

But like that to me was like, oh my God, this is everything you could possibly want.

Do you guys, do you guys, everyone saw the Mark Twain theater experience, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's so amazing my dad actually worked with him too on trying to figure out the the one-man show and like turn the twain thing into something else and and for a while and then didn't quite work out with them but like my dad got to work with him too and who's a theater director but i do remember one of the two times that i saw the first time i saw the mark twain show there was a moment where there were teleprompters going and i don't know if you guys are at this show but at one point he's doing this crazy complicated cool monologues and like stuff from the original books but then also things he's written and da da And I look over and I see the teleprompter just start to go, be

like, just desperately trying to find out where he is.

And it goes on for like seven minutes of like,

like desperately going back and forth, trying to figure out what it is.

And then finally, it settles down and figures out where he is.

But he was just doing, like, I don't know if it was off the cuff, but he was like living and breathing this character.

It was such a cool, oh, yeah, cool thing.

There's a very cool movie called Cinema Twain that captures Val playing Mark Twain, which is really, really special.

Can I shout out a couple of, I think, lesser-known Val movies that I really love?

There's a David Mammet movie called Spartan that I love Valon so much.

It's that great David Mammet where everybody's just, he's so flat throughout the whole thing, but you can't take your eyes off him.

And then he was in Port-a-Call, New Orleans with Nicholas Cage, which is a movie we've talked about, a great Werner Herzog movie.

And I believe that it kind of opens the two of them together and you're just so happy those two lunatics were in a cast together i just realized when you said that that val was the one who he was like hey have you ever seen bernard talk about chickens and i was like what and he was like yeah just look up berner herzog chickens and it's him talking about how much he hates chickens he hates chickens he fucking hates chickens but look it up and it's great it's about how you can hypnotize a chicken but

and how how unbelievably stupid they are.

But it's that's a really funny video.

By the way, when he was living at my place, it was right when he was kind of forming that Mark Twain show.

So he would be constantly going through stuff and he'd just come in just in character doing Mark Twain stuff.

And it was so fun.

And I actually got to go see the very first performance that he did, which was in Bismarck, North Dakota.

Wow.

And it was not ready.

I mean, it was just like, it was filled with, it was just like, like our first Magruber pass, just sprawling.

You know, our first Magruber draft was 180 pages long, which for people who don't know how long they're supposed to be, usually 100 pages.

It was so long.

And he had the confidence to know that it was a little too long and he was just going to try it out.

And it was so awesome.

Cause then you, I went there and people loved it.

And it definitely was like

long in parts.

And he was able to, you know, work his way through it.

And there would be parts they liked more than others, but they were listening the whole time and responding, even during the parts where you're like, oh, I hope he hasn't lost them because they got kind of quiet.

Then they would just roar approval so deep into it.

He's just a mesmerizing performer and pretty fearless.

It was really impressive to watch.

I think that's what it was about him, but I've never seen someone so confident in like an emotional way too, but it was just this sort of bravery to be himself at all moments.

And that's sort of what it made it unlike unnervingly captivating to me was just like, oh, he's just fearless.

And you see it in that movie Val, that amazing documentary that they made with Jack doing the voice.

Like, you just rarely get to see somebody that is that confident on so many levels, but it's just his own being was out there and on display.

Yeah.

And then to get to see every step of that way, you know, as he chiseled that into what it became, which he filmed for Cinema Twain.

Why did he do Bismarck?

Like, is that where Mark Twain's from or no?

There was a convention.

It felt a real connection to his Native American roots.

And there was some kind of convention.

I forget if it was a specific tribe, but he was out there to be a part of that.

And I think it was also just, you know, being somewhere away from a major media center.

It felt like probably a safe place to try stuff out.

Yeah, I don't know the answer to that, but that would be my guess.

Speaking of that, Thunderheart, another movie

of Val's that I love a great deal.

And, you know, we talked about this a little bit, of course.

He and Powers Booth were both in Tombstone.

And I just remember once watching the two of them have a conversation.

They were talking about it the way you used to talk about like if you had worked at a shirt factory together.

It was just like they were being so matter of fact about it.

And it was just, you couldn't believe you got to to sort of stand next to it.

And again, not to give away too much, Magruber was not a big budget movie.

And one of the cool things about when you have a Val, when you have a Powers booth, guys who had been on those big things, like they just brought.

the same integrity day in and day out.

They never had any errors about them.

They never acted like big shots.

They just wanted to be a part of it.

And that, I feel like, says so much about them as well.

Yeah, that's really true.

And they could have freaking just done it and bailed, but they kept in touch and wanted to stay in our lives.

And I mean, what a thrill for us who were such huge fans, like to get to be buds with him.

That's a, he's a special, special guy.

You know, what a, what a, he really was.

He was just next level special, man.

He was, yeah, I'll miss him so much.

Wait, I just thought of, I thought of the other story.

I got one more too.

Go ahead.

Do you remember the pillow story?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Until Tell that one.

Okay.

So while he was living with me, there was this stretch where I was kind of working during the week and I kept coming back.

My kitchen was just like freaking smelled funky.

I was like, what is going on here?

Is there something in the and I would open the fridge and there's nothing in there.

I couldn't figure it out, but I was, you know, coming home late and I'd have to go to bed and wake up early and go to a job or something like that.

And finally, over the weekend, this smell had been going for like five days.

Over the weekend, I get in.

I'm finally going to do a load of laundry.

And I open up the washer, and there's just this pooled water.

It's just a significant amount of water that just reeked.

And so I closed the door, ran the wash, went all the way through, and then I ran an empty cycle with detergent in it just to, you know, wash the washing machine out.

Then I put my stuff in.

When that was finally,

finally finished, I opened up the dryer and there was this completely mildewed,

still soggy down pillow that had clearly like been so heavy that it just was thrown around the dryer and just disconnected the circuit breaker or whatever and just like stopped.

And then the pillow sat in there for like six days.

And

that was the thing that was like reeking up the whole kitchen.

So I grabbed this pillow by one of the few places that didn't have a bunch of of mold on it.

And I brought it in and Val was on the couch and I'm like, Val, you know anything about this?

And he's like, that's my pillow.

And I'm like, yeah, I thought so.

I thought it might be.

Well, it was in the, in the dryer.

Didn't quite make it there.

It's like, yeah.

Okay.

That's.

Just a bunch of things like that.

And then we just kind of moved on.

Well, I don't think we really talked about it more.

I didn't even know people washed.

i guess people do wash pillows so

god it's so funny though that

you know there was there was so little aggression to him like to push against him was to just sort of like push air yeah yeah he wasn't gonna fight you back oh yeah the whole time he's saying yeah that's my pillow it's like smiling like

yeah

you said you had another one you

well when when he first got sick and he came over and you know it affected his his vocal cords and i don't think he could he could swallow so so he had to have this pump in his stomach

but he just fought through and he would speak in this very raspy like kind of blue he fucking powered through like it was almost like it didn't matter to him he just was gonna communicate but I remember he went over to his place that he was staying at I think it was either his house or I'm not sure where it was but he cooked us this whole taco meal and I remember being like like just like he can't eat this and he like made us this whole meal and it meant it just meant so it like like shocked me with the selflessness of that.

He just wanted to make a meal for people, one that he can't eat.

And it was just, I don't know, it was, it makes me tear up thinking about it.

Just, but he, he was just this really generous dude.

Yeah.

You know, there's just so many levels to him.

Constantly giving gifts, you know, he was constantly making art and would gift art to, you know, he was just giving art out all over the place or just little gifts just because, you know, no occasion, just like to give people things, to share things with people.

Yeah.

Support for the Lonely Island Seth Myers podcast comes from Airbnb.

Hey, everybody.

Obviously, this podcast is about four friends hanging out, talking about old times, and all four of us are parents.

And sometimes we go on vacations with our kids.

I just recently took a trip with my kids, and they're very loud.

And I want them to have the freedom to be the children they are and not always be shushing them because we are in a hotel.

And that was one of the the many benefits of taking our spring break in an Airbnb.

You can hang out in a living room, not in a hotel lobby.

And you know what?

I kind of feel like a meal is better shared around a table than a bed.

I feel like eating in a bed is a sign that things aren't going great.

So it was fantastic.

We had a great time.

They did not wake us up early because they had their own rooms and it was just so much better.

And maybe you're someone who's thinking, you know what?

My home could be a great get-together for old friends who are not looking to meet new people.

You've put a lot of time, effort, and work into your home, and someone out there would probably love to experience it while they're traveling.

And then they would rave about how it was the highlight of their trip.

Your home might be worth more than you think.

Find out how much at airbnb.com slash host.

Support comes from Rocket Money, right, Seth?

It does, Jorm.

How are you, buddy?

Thanks for Rocket Money.

I'm good.

Well, Jorm, I think if there was a sort of through line of the podcast, it's that you don't have the best memory.

And sometimes people without the best memory forget that they've signed up for maybe a trial period for something, and then they forget to cancel and they're charged month after month after month.

The subscriptions are there, Njorm, but you're just not using them.

Guess what percentage of people have at least one paid subscription going unused each month?

A thousand percent.

A thousand or one percent.

That's my guess.

85.

Oh.

So you went higher, which for an ad read is not ideal, but you know, we want people to gasp when they hear it's 85%.

I'm shocked it's 85%.

That's so, I thought it was going to be 2%.

So here's the thing, Yorm.

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

And right now, we're both watching Andy in the Zoom box just furiously using his Rocket Money to cancel apps.

Oh my God, Andy's really going to town.

Well, look at him go.

Look at him go.

Rocket Money has over 5 million users.

It has saved a total of $500 million and canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's premium features, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money.

Go to rocketmoney.com/slash island today.

That's rocketmoney.com/slash island, rocketmoney.com/slash island.

Start the season with Etsy and make your holiday traditions extra special.

On Etsy, you'll discover original pieces from small shops that will help you celebrate your way.

Shop Etsy for holiday decor that makes you feel seen.

Special starts on Etsy.

Tap the banner to shop now.

He hosted SNL in 2000, and you two were the musical guest.

And it was before I was on the show, but I was in the audience.

I had sort of begun my process of being someone that was on the radar of SNL.

And Ayala Cohen, who worked in the talent department, invited me to come to New York to see the show.

So I got to be in the audience.

And I was just so excited to see Val Kilmer live, which, you know, it was more than just SNL and obviously to see you two as well.

But I was at the after party as well.

And I remember just sort of going

into the bathroom as he was coming out and talking way more than I had any right to as somebody who had been invited to the show and just saying, hey, I'm just a huge fan.

You were so great.

And I just remember how sweet and patient he was then at, you know, two in the morning at an SNL after party.

But he was in a sketch that episode that took place on like a commuter airline where he is playing Iceman from Top Gun 30 years later with a bit of a paunch and thinning hair.

And our friend Mike Scher Scher wrote that sketch.

So I reached out to Scher to ask if he had any memories.

And so he left us a voice note.

So here is Mike's memory of the Top Gun 30 years later.

Hey, fellas, it's Mike Schur.

I have some Val Kilmer memories.

He hosted in December of, I think, 2000.

I remember it was a holiday show.

I think the monologue was like a ghost of Christmas future kind of a deal.

And I remember him being very intense, but very nice nice and sort of down for anything.

Scott Wainio wrote an incredible sketch.

It was a behind the music parody, which was like the biggest show at the time.

And it was based on the old saying that if there's a heaven, they must have a hell of a band, which is what people used to sort of in a clichéed way say about the deaths of Janice Joplin and Jimi Hendrix and people like that.

So the idea was it was the band that those people had all formed in heaven.

And Val Kilmer did his Jim Morrison Impression, which was, you know, incredible.

And it was wonderful.

And they got the real guy from behind the music to narrate it.

And side note,

Wainio got that guy to record the outgoing message on Wainio's answering machine.

So for a while, when you called Wainio and you got his machine, the guy from behind the music would say, Scott is not here right now because his life is falling apart due to drugs and infighting.

And it was great.

Anyway, Robert Carlock had a great idea for a sketch, which was it was like 25 years after

the events of Top Gun and Iceman had retired from the Navy and was now flying very boring commercial flights for Delta.

And so I wrote it with him and Parnell played the pilot and Iceman was the co-pilot.

And so Parnell would get on the PA system and be like, hello, good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

Our flight time from Cincinnati to Hartford will be two hours and 20 minutes.

And then Val Kilmer would get on the thing and go like, there's bogeys, bogies, nine o'clock.

We got bogies on our tail.

And then Parnell would grab it back and go, that is incorrect.

There are no bogeys.

There will not be any bogies on this flight from Cincinnati to Hartford.

It was a very funny, silly sketch, but very fun.

So at the show, we went to the floor to watch it live.

And Tom Cruise came to the show.

And Marcy walked him down.

And he was on the floor, like standing eight feet away from me watching this sketch and just enjoying it a great deal.

And Marcy came over to me while the sketch was airing and was like, Tom Cruise is here.

Should we get him to like walk on?

And I was like, Yes, of course we should.

And she was like, okay, what should he do?

And I was like, okay, just tell him, like, at the end of the sketch, like, I remember I told her what the last line of the sketch was.

And I was like, at the end of the sketch, just have him walk on and grab Val Kilmer and just say, like, hey, Iceman, let's get you out of here, bud.

Come on, or something like that.

And she was like, okay.

So she went over to him and she was whispering into his ear on the floor.

And I saw Tom Cruise nodding.

Like, I remember very clearly he was nodding.

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, I get it, I get it.

And I was like, oh, my God, this is going to be incredible.

And literally, I'm not joking, Tom Cruise took a step toward

the set, like heading over to walk on.

And this sketch ended and the applause was cued.

And Val got whisked away to run and do a change.

And we, like, we missed it by like, I would say eight seconds.

We missed a Tom Cruise walk on into the sketch, which would have just like, you know, 30 Rock would have like crumbled to the ground.

Anyway, R.I.P.

Val Kelmer.

Miss you guys.

Love you guys.

Bye.

Thank you very much, Mike.

The other thing that Val kept saying in that sketch to the co-pilot and the navigator was, you're dangerous.

Yeah.

There's a problem.

You,

because you're dangerous.

You're dangerous and foolish.

And that makes you dangerous.

Now let's cut the crap.

And he was a real delight every time.

You're dangerous.

Really, really fun.

Just because I have you guys, and I know you have to go.

But, you know, we didn't talk about all the Magruber sketches the last time you were on.

And maybe to me, the perfect Magruber three-parter ever is the Charles Barkley Magruber, which I don't believe we talked about, did we?

I don't know.

Did we?

I don't remember.

You know, my brain.

It was like later in the run.

I mean, no disrespect to the other Magrubers, but that is for sure my favorite.

I'm glad to hear it.

That one is?

Yeah.

I feel like not in Financial Ruin are maybe my two faves.

I just, I love Barkley.

I love him.

I mean, Barkley's great.

He's so funny.

He was so funny in it because he's like a very patient person putting up with your sort of like

latent racist tendencies of MacGruber.

But you keep calling him Durrell.

Yes.

McGruber, this is Doroth Madliglock.

We're trapped.

That's not our only problem, McGruber.

From the looks of that nitrogen bomb, we've only got 20 seconds.

Don't worry, Vicki.

Chill, Durrell.

We'll have plenty of time to relax, time to chill, Durrell, once we get out of here.

Once we scram, Durrell.

Is pronounced Daryl.

Oh, like a white Daryl.

10 seconds, McGrouber.

To which you say, oh, like white Daryl, which I'll never forget.

Yeah.

And then my favorite line of his is when he says, McGruber, I don't think this is going to work out.

He hands you a pen and you scream, he's got a gun.

That was the night of, God, I feel like it was some kind of championship game.

It couldn't have been the NBA Finals because that would be, but there was a huge game.

I remember like, oh, my God, I cannot believe that we're making, I think it was the college football playoffs or the national championship game.

And he was so cool about it.

They did bring down a TV.

I don't think he even asked.

I think we, I wanted to watch it too, but like, he just was.

Just, I love that guy.

I love him.

I think he's one of the funniest people around and I love him.

My favorite moment making that was, yeah, him looking over and a play going bad and him going, come on, man.

And then getting straight back into the scene and immediately filming.

Maybe my favorite, you're giving a big speech about tolerance and how you're enlightened.

And during the speech, Wig has told you there's 20 seconds.

Vicki has told you there's 20 seconds.

And you give a very long speech.

And then she goes, 15 seconds.

And then under her breath says, take your time.

Like she appreciates what you're

your moment of enlightenment is more important than the bomb.

And then, maybe, one of my favorite, just the tightest writing.

That I announced that in two Mondays, for the first time ever, we will be taking the day off to celebrate the life of a man that I consider to be my personal hero, Dr.

Martin Rufus King.

That's Luther.

Right, Luther.

You're Rufus.

I'm Daryl.

Whatever.

Look.

15 seconds.

I know I have a ways to go, Darrell.

But I'm headed in the right direction.

So put her there.

Hey, he's got a gun!

So,

so dark.

McGrouber's a horrible person.

But it's, you know what, I will say, like, it's what saves it from being dark is the just the sweetness of Barkley.

Oh, totally.

The Daryl he is in this sketch really does believe that McGrouber is going to turn it around.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he seems rather earnest.

Yeah.

He's just a bad person.

It's a perfect three-beat.

I mean, all Macrubers were, but that one I never get tired of watching.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, it was really nice to have you guys join us for this one.

Yeah.

It's nice talking about him.

He was a great guy.

Loved his kids.

Yeah.

His kids are really phenomenal people.

You know, I got to spend a lot of time with, not a ton of time, but, you know, Jack would come over, his son, and they had a really, really special relationship.

And I didn't get to know Mercedes well, but I know the way he would talk about them was it was he was a sweet dad.

Um, yeah, rest in peace, Val.

Yes, in peace, in peace, he will definitely be missed.

Thank you guys for making.

I mean, again, the guy had one hell of a career, but um, you guys know where I stand.

I'm a gruber, and uh, I'm really glad uh, you made it with him.

Yeah, same here, yeah, same here.

We're very lucky, honor for us.

Love you guys, love you, love you, love you,

love you, Val.

Love you, Val.

Love you, Val.

Love you, Val.

Oh, look at me.

I'm McGruber.

The pounds of cut.

Ooh, you want to go?

Fuck you, fuck you.

You want to go?