Talking Dog

Seth, are you okay today?

Yeah, I'm good.

Can I just say something?

Yeah, your eyes are piercing.

Yeah,

thanks, bud.

Yeah, you do look very good.

They're popping.

Yeah, I think it's because you're wearing blue and also the light is nice, but those things combined.

I'm like, check out the piercing blueies.

Thank you, buddy.

You got kind of a painting vibe in your back, too.

Like the way it falls off.

You look like an oil painting, like almost like the Mono East or something.

Oh boy, oh, yeah.

You know what?

Uh, Mike Shoemaker said a very sweet thing once.

Yeah, he said, All you assholes with blue eyes think you're twice as handsome as you are.

That was the sweet thing.

It's a veiled compliment.

Yeah.

I'm just kidding.

He'll be listening to me like, that's not what I said.

He's admitting you're handsome.

Yeah, exactly.

He's just saying you think you're twice as handsome as you are.

You're very handsome, but you think you're very, very handsome.

Yeah, yeah.

However handsome you think I am, it's not even close to how handsome I think I am.

Exactly.

I mean, no matter how handsome you blue-eyed boys are, those greenies got you beat.

The greenies are good.

Give me some greenies any day.

One thing I learned growing up, the ladies love a greeny-eyed boy.

I married into some greeny-eyes.

And do your kids have green eyes?

No, they all got the baby blues.

Nice.

Pretty good.

Welcome to another Lonely Island Seth Meyers podcast.

You guys, it's May 19th, 2007.

Ah, I remember it well.

The host is Zach Braff.

We are finishing up your second season on the show.

And the digital short is Dog Lover.

Is this the finale?

This is the finale.

When this was texted to all of us, I was like, that's not a real name of a short.

Oh, yeah.

That's how much I didn't remember it at all.

Lost the time.

Get go back and we're going to get there.

I'm noticing a theme with Yorm, which is you don't remember anything.

Well, here's the thing.

When Matt mentioned, what an asset you are in a

Greek cat about cats about history.

Yeah.

Like, oh, man.

Who's doing what now?

I don't even think I was there.

Like, you're in it.

Ah, yeah, right on.

Was that good?

Was that funny?

It's your voice.

I know.

When I heard it, I was like, oh, that's me.

I was in that just now.

Oh, yeah.

Now I sort of remember.

Hey, Yorm, it's me, you, from the past.

Oh, whoa.

Guys, hey, brother.

I'm tripping out.

Hey, I just wanted to let you know.

Yeah.

Drink that coffee.

Oh, too late.

Too late.

Pass me.

I just want to say something before we move on.

What?

Yeah.

Yorm, you're one of my best friends, and I love you.

Oh, it's a good save.

And I just want everyone out there listening.

We break each other's balls sometimes.

We get after each other.

And also, there's value in saying that to Jorm because right now he's looking at you being like, I know I know this dude.

Yeah, sorry.

I wasn't saying it.

It was so he'd remember who I was.

It's like when you visit like a very old relative and you're like, I'm your grandson.

Well, you're mad at me for saying introduce yourself at the top of the pod.

Everything is for Jorm.

Yeah.

Oh, and who's doing whatso?

Andy loves me.

That's good.

Yeah.

Who loves me?

You used to like trains.

Yeah, he did.

And now I'm a grown-up.

Yorm is just furiously like writing memento style notes that he's putting all over his body.

Akiva, tall, thin.

Andy says loves me.

Hey, I want to loop back because we talked about the Molly Shannon show in the Magruber Takeover episode, but can we do a quick loop back into Seth's Corner?

Seth's Corner, you're all invited.

Seth's Corner, it's happening right now.

Take it with it.

Wrote a sketch, and I'm mentioning because back-to-back weeks, I wrote a couple of my favorite kinds of sketches, which are full casters.

And this was 2007.

There'd been a big Republican debate and there'd been a big Democratic debate, primary debates.

And I wrote a sketch called the Fringe Candidate Debate.

And it is our whole gang from this era.

And it was just joyous to go back and watch.

It is the different candidates.

It is very interesting.

Certain things that I don't think you'd be able to do today.

Molly Shannon was hosting.

Basically, you have Kristen Wig represents PETA.

That's the first one.

I feel like, right, that she's the PETA candidate.

You feel like you're setting a bar of where it might go.

Immediately heightens to Molly Shannon as the head of the new Nazi party.

And she's wearing a full swastika on her arm.

Oh, dag.

Oh, dag.

That's the second one.

And no one really gasps or anything one it's molly so she's just like super enthusiastic and perky about it yeah that's the right casting

then fred is the al-qaeda candidate oh sorry between them is forte which i think is a real precursor to jeff montgomery he's the head of the nambla party i was gonna say it would have to be nambla it was nambla sudakis is blain goodbody from the dance party Polar doing a great Dennis Kucinich.

Do you remember who you were in this?

Me?

Yeah.

No.

You were Lord Simon Frothington from the whig party with an h ah also good casting but you were right next to um maya who was earlene robinson from the whig party just w-i-g got it and she was very upset with you also being a whig party what if i had remembered i was like oh lord frothington

also this is a real uh ahead of its time Keenan is Reverend Herschel P.

Chocula from the Black Vampire Party.

And, you know, Herschel Walker kind of, I think his, you know, Georgia governor

campaign was almost derailed by how much he was talking about vampires on the campaign trail.

So to have a vampire named Herschel.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

And also the real fun was Daryl.

Hammond was Dan Rather.

He had a great Dan Rather's impression.

But here's my favorite joke in it, which is.

Mr.

Budge, let's start with you.

To most people, Nambla means a lot of despicable things.

How do you intend to overcome Nambla's image problem?

Well, first of all, I don't think Nambla means what you think it means.

North American Man Boy Love Association?

I stand corrected.

It does mean.

So I don't know what he thought.

The only other thing I'll say is at one point, and this is definitely a Higgins joke.

Daryl says, I feel as silly as a steer in a sperm bank.

Everybody looks at him blankly.

For those of you who might not know, a steer is an ox that's been castrated.

So you see, a steer would feel pretty silly at a sperm bank.

I'm getting down, Robert!

Between dress and air, we added just Maya laughing really loud.

And Daryl breaks a little bit.

Whoa.

He's caught off guard.

And Daryl never broke.

No.

Yeah.

Daryl and Parnell.

You never get Daryl Parnell or Will to break.

Yeah.

Anyone else never break?

Who were the Never Breakers?

Daryl Parnell and Will.

And I've only seen Forte break once.

When?

When did Forte break?

When we were making the hit McGoberber TV series on Peacock that still exists, there's a joke in there where he's mulling over the phrase, whoever smelt it dealt it.

And he does a little, he lifts his butt a little bit.

There's no fart sound, but he lifts his butt just a little bit.

And then he started laughing.

And I was like,

out of all the jokes that would make Forte break, that's what did it.

It was kind of like both sad and like also gratifying.

And it's amazing how it didn't even come close to breaking the three of us.

No, no, none of no, nobody thinks it's good.

I was worried Andy's Zoom.

Andy was texting.

Nope.

Look, it was just such a dud of a

jubilant retelling.

It's weird because I'm drinking nitro cold brew too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, say let me.

We're not tailing.

Like when he broke, like, you mean he like broke into tears?

Because that's the vibe of the YouTube list.

It was late, to be fair.

It was late in the morning when we were shooting it was like by the way i want to say that before we started recording he gave us all the note to keep our energy up and then yorm's first anecdote had a real funeral dirge vibe to it we could add that in the background

um all right so zach rap host and uh you know i'm gonna keep it in a south corner for a minute because i have another trivia question for you andy uh sketch i again recall very fondly prom meeting and it's about uh what's the prom theme gonna be this year and again it's it's may i'm basically just stealing a move from everybody everybody based on things they've written that haven't aired in the show.

Ah, yes.

Do you know who you were?

No.

Lomax.

Oh, Lomax made air?

It was a version of Lomax.

It wasn't like you're Lomax.

You were like a Lomax who wanted the prom theme to be like a Hobbit focused.

Oh, God.

Was it a Martinelli Sparkling Cider?

Yeah, Martinelli's didn't make it.

No mention of Martinelli's.

Sorry, bud.

Martinelli Sparkling Cider, the world's most perfect beverage.

Without that, I'm not interested.

I'm glad I'm not wearing sweatpants right now for a multitude of reasons.

These are all lines from the unaired

never-addressed Lomax sketches.

I feel like that character could come into an animated movie right now, just hearing you do the voice.

Again, another thing, I'll send you a picture of Martinelli's once a year, Sandberg.

True, false, right?

Oh, deaf.

I deaf.

I see Martinelli's, I snap a picture, send it off to Lomax.

Jost also.

Jost remembers.

I think minimum, a character on Digman could come in who some kid involved in some mystery.

Oh, yeah, we should get Lomax up in there.

Yeah, yeah, no problem.

Slide right in.

I think it would sound a little something like that.

I'm just kidding.

The other thing I really liked: Amy and Maya are the sort of overbearing teen girls who are very upset that they have to talk to the rest of the class about what the problem theme should be.

I'm Beth BJ Jacobs.

And before you get any ideas, my name is Beth Jacobs, and that's why I'm called BJ.

And I'm Lauren BJ Carlton.

No disclaimer.

Oh, that's quality writing.

Yeah, that's pretty quality.

That's classic.

And again, though, before we get into Dog Lover, do you guys remember this sort of joy/slash dread of a final SNL?

Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

Like both knowing you're kind of off the hook for not having to do the show for a summer, but also that emptiness in case you're not going to do anything professional over the summer, too.

We always had a plan.

We were very lucky.

Yeah, what were we going to do this summer?

Was this our first album?

Were we going straight into album?

We were putting out the movie.

Oh, yeah.

The movie was coming out.

So, probably just press and press.

Yeah.

They had a big old press tour for us.

We traveled for it.

And I was getting married, too.

So, no, I was just like, had the jitters for getting married.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's cold feet.

Oh, immediately.

For a year, he's like, guys, my feet are chilly.

I don't know, guys.

Maybe we shouldn't do Dog Lover.

So, Dog Lover.

You know what?

I feel like this is allowed.

We all re-watched Dog Lover today.

We did.

And I think most of us had no memory of Dog Lover.

And no notes.

I remembered it.

My memory, though, was just the feeling I had after of not liking it.

And so I was actually, it was better than I thought it was going to be.

Here is this.

I'm not going to say who said what, but this was the exchange on the Lonely Island podcast text chain.

Who boy?

Who boy?

Ha ha ha.

Wow, wow, wow.

Okay.

Lot to process.

Wow.

Was not expecting any of that.

Again,

that is a text exchange

by the people who did it.

You're not saying who said what, but everyone contributed to that.

Because I only said one thing, which was save it for the pod.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It played well.

It did play well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was listening to it and every joke was landing.

NPS, after it aired, I had a lot of people who were specifically dog lovers say that they really liked it and that they thought it was sweet and funny.

Why did we hate it so much?

We didn't want to do a short that week.

You guys were officially in the place now where people who had comedy taste and were hosting the show wanted to do a short.

That was kind of one of the appeals of it is you get to host SNO and you also get to do a short.

And you were also entering the era where Lorne felt unsatisfied if if there was not a short in the show.

So you guys sometimes were up against the fact that you both had a host who was enthusiastic and a boss who was desirous.

And if you didn't have an idea, you were out of luck.

You had to figure one out.

Well, as we mentioned, there was that laminated card on the board.

Yes.

At some point.

Yeah.

At some point, right.

At some point, digital short was a card of its own the way monologue and weekend up day were.

Yes, which is a real, real flattering slash terrifying thing to see.

For how much we were just so had nothing and were scrambling to just do this at the very last one, where our head was already into hot rod, back into being like, finally, we can finish hot rod.

We left it with such a like, ugh, we just shit that out.

But when I just re-watched it, not like I love it, but I was expecting something with no laughs that died.

And I was really pleasantly surprised to hear the audience was on board.

Yeah, it was tuned.

I couldn't believe how long you kissed that fucking dog at the end.

Here's what I'll say.

I re-watched it.

I giggled.

I liked the music.

Yorm, you edited it, I assume.

Maybe.

I really liked the music.

No, Keev, you cut it?

I'm pretty sure I was fully in on this one.

Okay.

Well, I really liked the music you chose.

It was like sarcastic in the right way.

It reminded me of our early Lonely Island stuff.

where it had a tone where we were telegraphing to people that this is silly and stupid and had a sort of irony to it.

My acting, I didn't like.

It was a little too sarcastic and rubbery for my taste.

I think it would have played better if I had treated it more seriously.

But I think I was a little checked out and not doing it exactly how I wish I had done it.

But in general, the beats worked, and the kiss I thought was kind of funny at the end.

I like the cigarette.

Cigarette good.

Yeah, cigarette was great.

Yeah, that part was good.

Explain the cigarette, Seth, since nobody can actually watch this.

Well, I'll just say Brad walks into an apartment.

He's offering it to Andy's a sublet.

He gets a phone call.

He leaves the room.

And the dog walks over and starts to talk to Andy.

Hey, buddy.

Hey there.

To look around.

It was me, the dog.

You can talk.

Yeah, I can talk.

And I've got something to say.

What?

I love you.

This is crazy.

You don't even know me.

Well, let's change that.

Now there's no special effects.

The dog's mouth is not moving.

We just hear Yorma's voice.

The dog begins to flirt with Andy.

There is a moment I had a logic problem, whereas you kind of were leaning down to the dog, right?

Logic problem.

And then Brad walks in and is like, were you about to kiss my dog?

And I don't, I feel like if you walked in and a dude was holding your dog's head in his hands, you would just think that's a guy who likes dogs, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It doesn't seem as, you know, you don't jump to that conclusion.

Scandalous as you'd think.

I also will say in rewatching, I thought the romantic music came in a hair earlier than I wanted it to, and it was tipping it a little more than I thought we could have slowburned it like a beat or two longer before we started revealing that's what the dog was up to.

And I'm sure it was because we were just trying to get to it.

Also, it's that weird thing of a set where you're in an apartment and the shades are drawn because obviously, you know what I mean?

It's it's that weird look of you can't show that you're in New York City, right?

I'm assuming.

It was probably also nighttime and we wanted it to feel like daytime.

Was that actually Flat Hotel?

We saw it then?

I'm guessing.

I thought it was almost on nine somewhere, but maybe I'm wrong.

Oh, maybe they just built us a set and didn't have an outside.

They definitely didn't build us a set.

Well, that was the last minute it went.

No, okay.

No, it's Flat Hotel.

yeah then uh brath conveniently for the comedy of the sketch gets a second call yeah he leaves again and now it's it's happening andy's a little that flustered rom-com thing of this is happening so fast what's going on and then the dog asks andy to go to the fridge and get him a plate of ham ham give me some ham oh wait a plate of ham

There you go.

I am on it, you guys.

Whenever you need something, I'll be right there with you.

A plate of ham, which is a very funny thing to ask for.

It also is, you know, again, I don't want to dig into the logic of this sketch.

It does imply that Zach Raph's character has a plate of ham in the fridge, just at the ready.

At least so.

I've had a plate of ham in the fridge with like plastic wrap over it, you know.

Sure, sure.

So don't, don't unspool this sweater too much.

You become suspicious.

You're on to him now.

You're jilted.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then Raph comes in and it becomes clear this happened before.

Has this whole thing just been about you tricking me into getting you ham?

Has it?

No.

You used me.

Okay, what is going on in here?

Nothing.

Oh no.

Did my dog seduce you and try to get you to give him some ham?

Your dog is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

Damn it, Rufus.

Bad dog.

Bad dog.

I'm leaving.

And then the dog basically makes its case that this was real.

Wait, did this start about me wanting some ham?

Yes.

Did it turn into something else?

You bet it did.

So you can walk out that door, or we can give this a shot.

Owner, you're a good man, but I can't fight love.

Then go to him.

Come on, boy, go to him.

Don't go to him.

like this.

And you have a good long do-dog kiss.

It's a basic rom-com, you know, format of one character gets into the relationship under false pretense, but then along the course of the film,

realizes, actually, I do love you.

Then the other person realizes, whoa, you were lying this whole time, his heartbroken.

And they have to explain, yes, yes, I am guilty of getting in here for the wrong reasons, but once I was along this path with you, I love you.

Please forgive me so we can be together.

It's a real three-act structure.

Yeah.

Exactly.

What's a good example of that?

How to lose a guy in 10 days.

She's got the magazine article to write.

And then he also has some, you know, he's a works at advertising and needs this big client.

So they both are under false pretenses in that one.

Ulterior motives.

Yeah.

It all works, though.

You know what?

I was, I was most surprised with the kiss, though, to me, was that Andy was kissing a dog because I don't think of you as a dog lover, Andy.

Yeah, were you picturing Frisbee?

Yeah, that's how you got through it.

Now, Frisbee didn't exist yet, Seth.

Did you see this and think about getting a Frisbee?

Yeah, I think watching this short was maybe what made me want to get a Frisbee.

Yeah.

And I think also I thought, oh, you know what's great about this is Andy, obviously, based on this makeup, loves dogs.

So I'll get a dog and then we'll bring Andy and I closer.

Right.

And then you got the worst dog in the history of the world.

He's a hairy dog.

And you're like, what about a dog that doesn't have as much hair?

What if I get the opposite of this dog?

yeah the length of time you're allowing that dog to kiss your lips to lick your lips does make me think maybe frisbee does suck for the first time i've always thought andy just hates dogs and he's a

this changes everything because i'm like oh wait he can like dogs he can let a dog lick his lips for an insanely long time that dog in dog lover is super sweet and cute yeah right a little shaggy little shaggy fluffy guy kiva your argument is the way this short will endure is as an indictment on frisbee yeah it's proving that he's not, you know, dog racist.

There's something about Frisbee.

Yeah, it's just about Frisbee.

Yeah.

Did you have to put anything on your lips for that dog to get in there, Andy?

Yeah, is there peanut butter?

No.

I don't think so.

Dogs just do that, right?

No, I bet I do.

No, I'm sure you had some.

I think I had peanut butter.

Like some lip smackers, lip gloss, peanut butter flavor or something.

What are we talking about?

Yeah.

The other thing about it is I had just watched Quatto with Scarlett, and you do kiss the dog pretty much the same way.

It's like watching Two Quados, mango.

It's a two quatos situation.

Yeah, for sure.

Or is that just how you kiss?

That is also how I kiss, yes.

It also, I mean, you did kind of build in a little bit of a soft landing for yourself.

It does play better than I remembered as well, Keith.

That's a lie.

I did not remember this even existing on Earth.

It does play fine, but everybody's really happy when you kiss the dog.

Yeah.

Right?

Like, no matter how bad it was, like, people are going to be happy when you kiss the dog.

It's a sweet moment.

The end of a rom-com, you want them to get together.

Right.

Yeah, exactly.

All that tension.

Yeah.

No matter how big the lie.

It ends with the song.

Is that a Kelly Clarkson song?

The Some People Wait a Lifetime For a Moment.

Like, is that Kelly Clarkson?

Sing it a little more?

No, I don't want to.

I want to get even quieter.

As you sing it, do what you're doing where you just keep getting quieter.

But it's a moment.

Don't stop singing.

Who sings that?

Is it?

Yeah, Kev says it's her American Idol song.

But I just want to point out, we put that in because we thought it was a funny thing to do.

And then everyone's like, hey, if you put that in, it can't be in reruns.

And we were like, yeah, we're okay.

Nail in the comments.

Oh, that sucks.

That's also why

you don't remember.

I like that that was your fail save.

It's like at the end of Daiquiri Girl, it's just like, help.

I need some money.

We would talk about how we were jealous of people that were so connected with YouTube and the idea of YouTube as we were.

We would talk about how jealous we were of just a few years before it where it was live and they would disappear.

Yeah.

And you could just enjoy almost like going to the theater or something or to see an improv show.

The point was that it was so throwaway.

And now you got graded in a different way because it lasted forever in a different way.

And then we realized that was our get out of jail free card.

Since it is Dog Lover and I realized, you know, she is in the room.

you know, maybe as a little incentive to hop over to this on YouTube, I'm going to go pick up Frisbee and hear in real time what Andy thinks about her.

Okay, great.

Let's bring her out.

He's going to hold up Frisbee and we're going to judge her without him listening.

Is that what's happening?

Okay.

Oh my gosh, he's right there.

Okay, so what do we think about Frisbee, guys?

Gosh.

Oh, my God.

She was in the room the whole time.

I guess it's a pretty weird-looking dog.

Legit.

He told me he was going to pick up Frisbee, and I still thought for a second, oh my God, he's only a giant rat.

I missed that.

What were you saying?

Huh?

Nothing.

Don't worry about it, bro.

Listen to the pod.

What a sweetie.

Oh, God.

Oh, the legs are just bone.

It's a she, right?

Yeah, it's a she, which first, which, by the way, Samberg fully didn't know for her the first 11 years of her life.

How much does she weigh?

Like, what, what size?

Like eight pounds.

Is it a super fast dog, though?

It looks super fast.

She's pretty old now, but she used to be super fast.

Yeah, it's like a greyhound.

It's like a dog that you would bet money on.

Yeah.

Eight pounds even or eight pounds gross ounces.

Flawless.

Thanks.

It's the best I had.

The best you had was exceptionally good.

Can I tell you something?

Just being fully honest, like, I know we have this thing where I make jokes about how Frisbee's disgusting, but now looking at her, it's uh, it's real.

She's bad.

It is, I mean, I am feeling shame.

I am feeling shame making fun of the dog to its face.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She looks really sweet and she has a sad expression.

Yeah.

She's definitely sad when she sees Andy.

Because again, as we've established in the very true story of Frisbee and Andy's relationship, very early on when she was a puppy, Andy just fully dropped her on the ground.

Is that true?

Yeah, we put her in your lap and you were like,

I thought it was a rat.

Such a little, such a teeny little head.

Yeah, that's a teeny little face bone.

I'm going to put her back on her pillow.

Yeah, she's yawning so much, it's reminding me how boring podcasts are.

Yeah, she's a good critic.

Everyone's a critic.

She's like, oh, she was kind of like a weird medium.

The skeleton rat.

People listen to this?

Why not just write a movie?

That's how people should use the time.

What do you do with your free time?

The musical guest was Maroon 5, Andy, without cheating.

Tell me what they sang.

Moves like Jagger.

Wrong.

Makes me wonder and won't go home without you.

Oh, I know that.

Now, you had an update that was cut Andy called Cliff of Cliff's Notes.

Joast is the credited writer.

I was going to say, it sounds like a Joast, yeah.

Joast was so young when he got hired that like for the first five years, all his stuff stuff was about college stuff and high school stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was his life experience.

Yeah, exactly.

The next time we're going to talk, it's going to be the season premiere of the 2007, 2008 season.

But over the course of the summer, I feel like we hit on this a little bit during Hot Rod, but you know, the movie comes out and did we talk about the summer it came out?

I feel like we probably did

and how good it did.

Yeah,

it made a million over a million dollars.

It made over a million dollars.

Yeah, I think we did talk about it and how we got out of town and we were like out at clubs in Europe.

it's okay though because maybe some people will say it's a cult classic in a few years

and that made us feel i will say you know what i heard from a lot of people post the hot rod episodes that they re-watched it with their kids and their kids loved it oh that's awesome that's great yeah yeah what else can you ask for besides money yeah money would have been better though right if the movie had made a lot of money they probably would have showed it to their kids without having to be reminded honestly if it had done really well it might have made it lame who knows who knows one day those kids will be executives and give us all good jobs.

Yeah.

Or they'll be looking for like, find me the next Andy Sandberg.

Bastards.

Here's the thing.

First off, dog lover, not criterion.

We can just move past that.

Yeah, of course.

Didn't even make the top 64.

No.

It was a final episode of the season.

We got it done.

Made it to the summer.

Yeah.

And I still think about that dog, obviously.

A sweetheart.

Right.

So much better than Frisbee.

I liked the naturalism in the very beginning of the sketch when Braf is showing you the apartment.

He does a good job.

And that's why I was kind of disappointed that I started ham boning because I was like, hey, it's nice and grounded.

I thought he did a great job and you did a great job.

There's no cuts in it.

It just brings you guys in.

You guys say the dialogue.

I'm completely comfortable.

Yeah.

Two things.

One, when the dog asked you to go to the fridge and get plates of ham, did that resonate as a note you had gotten from an acting coach in the past?

Sorry.

Is that what you wanted, Seth?

You wanted him to make that sound?

Yeah.

The other thing I was going to say is this was our second season finale.

First season, the last episode, we did Andy Walking.

Yeah.

This season, we did Dog Lover.

Not our best, by all accounts.

Right.

Both fine.

But I do just want to flag, like, let's keep an eye on, did we improve our end of the season showings?

Yeah, what the last years are.

Because it might just be too hard a needle to thread end of season, dead tired.

Again, you guys, as Keith pointed out, you'd had a run of three really nice ones before the, you know, the last couple.

Yeah, no shame.

Good season.

No shame.

Also, really good season.

There was another one of the bar songs in the BRAF episode.

There was another Vinnie Videcci in the Brath episode.

There was, I made a note because it was, again, as we've established with Vinnie Videcci, it is Bill as an Italian man doing the impressions that Bill does that were unusable in the show.

Right.

Then he goes,

you were in the movie Manhattan Murder Mystery.

And Zach Braf goes, yeah, it was my first movie.

And then, based on that, Bill does a Peter Falk impression.

Just literally mystery.

Oh, Carción Mysteriando.

Carasio Colombo.

No, no, no.

Peter Falk was not in that movie.

Oh, Colombo, Colombo, Casaro Petro, Colombo.

One more thing there, little lady.

If you ain't never been to Mexico before, then what's that sombrero doing in the back seat of your car?

All right, that's the end of your second season on the show.

That's Dog Lover.

It was, as Andy said, right before we started recording for the dogs.

I didn't say that.

Yeah, you did.

You did.

And you said, don't put it in.

This is very exciting.

We've asked a lot of people for questions.

And as a reminder, there's a couple ways you can give them to us.

One way, you can just leave them in the YouTube comments.

These are posted on YouTube.

You can also email us at thelonelyislandpod at gmail.com.

You guys ready for some questions?

They're mostly directed towards you.

Well, I was going to say there's a third way that you can ask them.

How's that?

You get tickets to see the Seth Meyers late show, man.

And then in the middle of the taping, when Seth's doing a closer look or some bullshit, this is a great idea to blurt it out.

Yeah.

Go like, Akeema!

Question for me.

What does your butt feel like?

What does your butt feel like?

Blump.

All right, guys, there's a scene in Hot Rod where Rod is walking around doing laundry and he's kind of singing under his breath, walking around with no pants on and he's just in his underpants and then it cuts to Kevin, then back to Rod with pants on.

I wanted to know, is this an intentional goof or was it a continuity error caught in editing, then fixed?

Makes me laugh every time.

Thanks for keeping me entertained.

I know it was intentional that it ended up in the movie.

That was not like, oh, we didn't notice or something.

The question of did we pre-plan it or did we shoot it with no pants and with pants being like, and then in editing, we'll decide which.

And then we were like, oh, oh, it's both is the answer.

That I don't remember.

You have to go find a script and see if we said he has no pants and now he has pants.

Or I'm guessing it was an editing joke.

I think it was an editing joke, yeah.

That's my guess.

But it was intentional.

Yes.

But I don't know that it was planned.

I do remember on like early Lonely Island short stuff, I almost wanted to hire someone for continuity who was like anti-continuity.

I was like, no,

shot to shot.

Let's fuck this up more.

Hey, somebody had just an interesting comment about Dear Sister, which which is they said that one of their funniest moments is when, because there's no blood in the sketch, and then Sudakis walks in and says it's a bloodbath.

They just thought that.

There's a little bit of blood on his hand.

A little bit of blood, but it's not a bloodbath.

And it certainly isn't.

It's very clean.

Also, somebody said when the memes are going around about the Olympic sharpshooters, somebody edited in a picture of Andy shooting from the ground in one of the memes.

Oh, from Dear Sister.

It lives on.

Are there any songs, and I guess this is referring to to album songs, that you regret not making a video for?

Yes.

Oh, definitely.

Yes.

There's a lot, but I think we all have the same top one that we really wanted to.

What is it, Japan?

I think we have two.

Japan's mine.

Semicolon and Japan.

Yeah.

That's true.

That's exactly it.

What are the elements of those songs that you most wanted to make a video about?

Do Japan first.

Well, the premise of Japan is that anything we say in the song has to be in the video and our label has to pay for that video.

So we're just mentioning expensive stuff and we're we're total idiots.

Yeah, the entire premise of the song is video-based.

If we make this song, we're going to get a first-class trip to Japan is the premise.

Yeah, it starts off as like a joke about how we're white and we suck and we're not respecting the culture and being there.

But it turns into that the whole thing is a ruse to get the label to pay an exorbitant amount to send us to Japan.

We also really suck in a very specific, obnoxious way.

Yeah, we're being very ugly Americans.

Yeah, dump the money in the river.

But we talk about Tokyo Disneyland and about the best sushi restaurants

drinking champagne in the hotel.

Because we did really want to go.

Yeah.

And now we're in Hawaii for one random shot that the label has to pay for.

Yeah, exactly.

And the craziest part is when we finished the song and turned in the album, the head of the label was like, let's do it.

Let's make that happen.

And we were just too busy because we were back at SNR.

Really?

So you think they would have done it?

Yeah, we blew it.

He'd said he would do it.

We blew it.

We also since have talked about like us probably having the conversation of like, we're just too busy.

And now that we have kids, being like, we weren't.

I know.

We really should have done it.

Yeah, we could have found that week.

I will say, I do a QA every night with my audience, and somebody said, What advice would you give to like a 25-year-old?

And I was just like, Do everything,

do everything anyone ever asks you to do.

Do it.

Yeah.

When you feel like you're too tired, you're not.

You're not.

You have no idea.

Not even close.

When I talk to anybody who doesn't have kids, I'm just like, go to Paris right now.

Semicolon has a fair amount of hits just on the YouTube audio only, like, you know, what's it called?

Text video, whatever you call it.

Like, we didn't even get to make music video, but that's why I really feel like it could have been a really big one with a real video.

And it was one of our favorites.

Also, just because we love Solange, yeah.

Yeah, and Solange did it, and it would have been so fun to be in a video with her and et cetera, et cetera.

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Somebody wrote something, it's just like an observation that I really enjoyed.

It's so fun to hear Seth, who is clearly from New England, grappling with the laid-back NorCal vibes of the lonely island.

Grappling.

You're

grappling.

Every week you have to grapple with us.

Kind of pin us down.

Oh, what was the song Bing Brong Brothers had played on Attack of the Show?

The whisper song or whatever?

Yeah.

Like the Yin Yang Twins.

Someone claimed this.

I then wrote the person to ask if they remember it.

And they said the timeline's right, but they don't actually remember.

But someone claims that they recorded it that episode of Attack of the Show, and Olivia Munn was who presented that.

Oh, wow.

That makes sense.

Again, I could not verify this independently or via Olivia, but I thought that was a good fun fact.

I like that this QA feels like I'm on corrections.

Yeah, it does have a nice feel to it.

It's a different Seth.

Yeah, I feel much calmer.

Yeah.

You're looking at the paper, you're going through the comments.

You fell right into a tone and a rhythm that's so comforting.

I feel like we addressed this.

Yarma, do you know someone again pointed out Yarma?

Do you know that in Finnish, Yarma means dick?

Yes, yes, I do.

The bummer is: did you know Taconi means shrimpy or little?

Oh, that's good.

It's kind of an oxymoron.

Yeah.

Here's one.

Maybe you guys can't say it because you want to wish cast into the future.

You don't want to jinx anything.

Was there someone, a celebrity for a digital short you really wanted that you never got?

Bill Clinton.

I would say Kanye and Eminem.

I wanted those two guys to do digital shorts.

What did you say?

What did you say, Andy?

Bill Clinton on saxophone.

Hell yeah.

That was always our answer.

We used to get asked this question in every interview.

Oh, you got asked a lot?

That was always our answer.

It was Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton, right?

Yeah, Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton, the Bills.

Yeah, we kept saying that.

I don't know why, but we just thought it was funny.

We kept wanting to claim on Saxon, which is genuine.

And then also we would just genuinely say Jay-Z.

Yeah.

We just knew he'd never do it.

And we really, I mean, of course we would.

If he called us today and was like, do a funny song, we'd stop everything to try to write a funny song.

This is just a story somebody sent in that I liked.

When Incredibad came out, I listened to it almost exclusively.

I had to take my car in for some work one day.

I parked it, handed over the keys, and went about my business.

15 minutes later, a man walks up to me.

What the hell kind of music do you listen to?

I turn your car on and get my eardrums blasted out by some woman rapping about shitting in someone's shoe.

Oh, it's wonderful.

I'm putting you on the spot.

I could have heads you guys up that this is coming.

So if you want to wait until the future Q ⁇ A, best hip-hop album in the 90s.

Do you guys have answers?

Oh, there's so many.

Yeah, right.

It's a hard one.

You'd have to list like 10 that were influential.

Raekwon only built for Cuban links.

There you go.

It's very good.

I mean, the first, um,

the first Outcast album is amazing.

Um, Wu-Tang's first album is obviously 36 Chambers, Ilmatic, as Bay Boys, 93 till Infinity, Bizarre Ride to the Far Side.

Who Let the Dogs Out.

That's just the single.

That's great.

We talked a little bit about Higgins' office because it turns up and Roy Rules and how it was a good place to go for Seltzer and Espresso's.

Oh, yeah.

There was one other thing I realized was worth mentioning about Higgins' office.

Do you remember when he he would make people Pim's cups?

Oh, yeah.

Loved it.

That was more The Office on Nine, though, I'll say.

Yeah.

A Pim's cup is a cocktail that requires a lot of like cut-up fruit.

And it's this cocktail that Higgins liked.

And sometimes he would just go in there and there'd be, again, this is an office, a working office, and there would just be a guy chopping up crazy little fruits and asking you if you wanted a Pims cup.

And I did because he was sort of the first television producer I ever met.

I thought that is what all showbiz would be, like really time-intensive cocktails.

And it was still to this day the only person who's ever offered me a Pim's cup.

They're delicious.

They're like what you can drink all day at a cricket game.

Which video?

I think this question is twofold.

There's two different answers.

They said which one was the least amount of time to make, but I'd like you guys to answer which one wrote fastest and then which one shot fastest.

I mean, it's kind of loaded because the one that was the fastest to ever be written was Daiquiri Girl because we improvised it on camera.

Yeah.

But how much time did you put into making something else and then making that?

You know what I mean?

Can't you factor in that amount of time?

Didn't you spend all week trying to do something else?

I mean, yeah.

Right.

You have to add the other script to that count.

Yeah.

Oh, right.

Oh, because we wrote something else that we didn't shoot.

You mean?

Yeah, exactly.

I thought Smash and Grab-wise, Daiki Go would have been my answer for like least amount of time from camera on to cut.

That's a wrap.

I mean, I think it's pretty much all there.

Yeah.

But what's a great one that wrote fast?

I mean, Irene Safari wrote fast, right?

If you're you're talking about songs yeah i mean dick in a box wrote fast once we started yeah lazy sundae wrote fast once we started a lot of them once we we arrive at a premise we like we just write a ton and that goes fast and then we read it all to each other and decide what lines we like best and start building it in terms of shooting though like obviously something that's going to be like a one camera kind of set up like i just re-watched tizzle whizzle which i know is way in the in the future but like that was a pretty quick one to shoot i remember just because it's you know like a white psych yeah hey guys um there's a lonelyisland.com clip where akiva is chasing andy through a parking garage and then when andy gets in the car he frantically struggles to get the key into the ignition and then the camera zooms out and he's breaking the fourth wall and obviously intentionally teasing the key around the key hole and it's the best and i can't find it and i need it back in my life and i'm hoping you can help me please

what's the explosion from it's a al pacino movie yeah what was that called but isn't the keeve running after me keeve Isn't it based on Terminator 2, like the weird run?

Maybe.

All I know is the Key and the Ignition was a Denzel Washington movie we were watching that was serious, where you knew there was like a bomb in the car, and if you turn the ignition, it was going to blow up.

And it was basically doing it because it was trying to build tension.

It was trying to be like Hitchcockian, and it's like, oh boy, when this happens, when he turns that key, it's the Grisham one with Julia Roberts.

The Pelican brief?

Oh, yeah,

okay.

I'm wrong.

Yes.

And every time he does it, it's like they're having a mundane conversation about the case.

So they're not knowing its tense, but we know as an audience.

They're like, don't turn the key.

And it's done almost to a comedic amount.

Where can that person find it?

I always like these questions because they're kind of the questions you would get at Comic-Con, where the person asking it is also impressing you with how deep their knowledge is.

Because that is a deep, deep ref.

I'm trying to remember what we called that video because I maybe would be able to find it if I could remember.

You are Humble Bragg.

Been to Comic-Con.

Been to Comic-Con.

Somebody paid his way.

Oh, shit.

That's cool.

For land of the lost.

Somebody paid his way.

This is an interesting question that I realize people wouldn't know, which is how does SNL show digital shorts and other pre-recorded sketches to a live studio audience?

Very obvious to us.

On those monitors.

There are monitors.

Yeah.

There's monitors all over hanging above them in the studio.

Yeah, but not gigantic, not movie screen stuff.

Like TVs.

Just TVs.

Yeah.

And there always has been, so they could watch the commercials but also correct me if i'm wrong are they seeing the when the sketch is blocking they can look up there to watch the sketch too yes and oftentimes you do a lot of seats have no eye line to the sketches based on where they are on the floor yes exactly often the studio audience is watching it the same way as people at home just they're also there and hearing the laughs in the room and correct me if i'm wrong but where certain sketches are placed, the closer you are to like the center where the most people can see it.

That is kind kind of prime placement right yeah home base which is where the monologue is delivered there are a lot of sketches there and i remember early on in my time at the show shoemaker said don't put a door in your sketch if you don't need a door in your sketch because you can't have a door at home base

but you can sort of play everything out and so home base is the best place to be if you want everyone's eyes on the actual performance as opposed to watching it through a tv screen at which point they're just a home audience yeah that's a little snow hack i feel like i heard that the first Wayne's World was like back in the corner.

I think it was.

Because there were stairs.

Yeah.

And then they moved it to home base and it became a thing.

The first Wayne's World, Tom Hanks comes downstairs, remember?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And there's no more stairs after that one.

Stairs.

I remember doing Wahlberg Talks to Animals at home base and being like, this feels different.

Yeah.

Like just energetically, everyone's just there with you.

It's like similar to doing the monologue.

It's just you and them.

Almost all cold cold opens in a perfect world are at home base.

And I remember early on, like Bill was like sort of tasked with doing so many cold opens just based on being like so good at impressions.

And I remember once having to give him notes last minute and then realizing, oh, this is such a big ask for a new cast member just to be sitting in a chair dead center

before anything's happened, before the monologue.

And it really speaks to how you get thrown to the wolves on that show right away.

But the nice wolves that make you feel good about being good at comedy.

Yeah, they're good wolves.

I'm trying to think of what other

sketches did we have at home base.

I'm like, I don't remember getting hardly any.

If I remember, so I guess stage right.

So on the other side of the music,

there's that corner spot that Dratch famously called Shit Can Alley.

Yes.

Yeah.

Because she said, you never want your sketch to be in Shit Can Alley.

Because basically, no one can see anything that's going on over there.

and then the the response from anybody when you complained was uh cowbell was back there and you're like all right fair enough yeah

um thanks everybody for your questions wait wait wait there's no no questions for seth there was oh there was one question somebody asked about the uh the origin of the migrating tree frogs migrating tree frogs is something we do now when we do a segment on our show called you're burnt i always say there's an interesting story about migrating tree frogs and then i smell fire and we move over to you burnt this is something that i also used to do at s n l same graphic.

And anytime I said there's a story about migrating tree frogs, it was the thing we did before I got interrupted.

Like Sanjaya, when Andy was Sanjaya, it would definitely have been migrating tree frogs.

But I stole it from, it started with, I think via Robert Carlock, it started with Tina and Jimmy because migrating tree frogs would be what they were talking about when Katan would come in as gay Hitler.

Ah, yes.

So it is now inherited for over 20 years as a like sort of deep-cut graphic you show when you're not about to complete a monologue joke.

Okay, Seth, I have another question for you.

Yeah.

Do you think you're the best late night host of all time?

All time?

All time or now?

Yes, we're both.

Try to tee it up as casually as possible.

Yeah.

Great questions.

Do please keep sending them in.

And oh, somebody had one.

You know what?

I'll throw it out and hopefully we'll talk about it more.

I know the answer to it, but I'll throw it out to you guys.

Hey, Lonely Island, are you guys ever going to make new music?

What's our response?

I'm going to let one of these jokers answer that.

Yes, we are.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, cool.

All right.

I love you guys.

This is the end of another podcast.

Love you too.

We did it.

Love you.

Bye.