Andy Walking

It's the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast.

Hey, everybody.

Welcome to episode 10 of Seth Meyers and the Lonely Island Podcast.

Is that, I feel like at this point, I should know.

And this is the 10th episode.

It's the final episode about your first season on the show.

And I mostly want to talk, well, I want to talk about the digital short.

I want to talk about a sketch.

This is the Kevin Spacey show.

I also, before we get started, want to say that obviously we perceive Kevin Spacey a lot differently now when we're recording this podcast as we did in May of 2006.

We don't want to talk about that in fear that it will not match the tone, the glib tone of this podcast.

So we just invite everybody as means of a disclaimer, if you don't know what has happened with Kevin Spacey, to look into it.

But this is the end of the season.

And you guys at this point know well and good that you're off to Vancouver to shoot hot rod.

Are you looking past the season finale?

Are you only thinking about hot rod?

Quite possibly.

Like we definitely weren't like, we got to do a song.

That's true.

Effort-wise, well, that's not fair.

I don't want to say you didn't put in a ton of effort.

The result does not look like your hardest digital short to make.

I think that's true, but it doesn't mean that we weren't like nervous during the week and feeling like we should do something good.

But yeah, you're right.

The effort-wise.

I think we were burnt out and we were trying to think of something that would be easy.

It certainly looked easy.

The digital short that ended your first season, a season full of triumphs,

will not make the criterion collection of digital shorts.

Are we all in agreement?

No, yeah, agreed.

Full agree.

Yeah, I watched it back and was like, that was it.

That was it.

And there were a few moments where I thought, oh, maybe this is it.

No, that was it.

Nope.

Yeah.

And the name of this digital short is Andy Walking.

And I want to say this, which I liked.

It is a play on Jay Walking, a segment that Jay Leno did on his show, but it was not a hit on Jay Leno.

That's right.

Maybe don't emulate.

I didn't realize that.

And I have to say, I mean this authentically in 2006.

I feel like it was a very easy, hacky move to be shitty about Jay Leno.

And that was not what this was.

No, I mean, there's still segments on late night, I don't think on your show, Seth, but I mean, Kimmel still does it and stuff where they go out and ask real people questions.

And the tone of them has shifted, I think, a lot since when we made this.

Yeah.

I'm pretty sure the idea for this was Matt Murray's.

I think I saw one recently where they were just asking people who Mike Pence was and they couldn't answer it, which is very similar.

Yes, it's a mixed bag because on the one hand, it's like, let's laugh at how stupid people are, which is what the short is trying to sort of comment on.

But on the other hand, you are often shocked at how much people don't know who Mike Pence is when you ask them on the street.

Yeah, I enjoy the Kimmel bits.

Me too.

I don't want to seem like we're making fun of them, but we are making fun of the general.

No, we're making fun of the Leno ones.

And by we, I mean Matt Murray, whose idea was, and who is not here to defend himself.

Yeah.

I would be terrified if someone came up to me with a microphone on the street and asked me facts where the assumption was I definitely am supposed to know what they were.

Absolutely.

Like I want to just give a little bit of empathy to the people on the street.

Yeah.

Now, don't get me wrong.

I feel like those people don't know who Mike Pence is, but my God, I would be terrified.

I did Kimmel a while back, and they did one where they stopped a woman on the street and asked her to say which president was on each coin and bill, and she got them all right.

And we were in the dressing room watching, and I maybe would have gotten three.

So, yeah, I'm with you.

One of the great versions of this that happened recently, have you guys seen the Tennessee Titans schedule release video that was floating around?

No, not.

It's the greatest.

And again, I don't want to use this podcast to promote other digital shorts, but the tennessee titan social media team the way they released their schedule is they went out in nashville which is just a party town whatever that main street and nashville is probably main street but they go out and they just showed people the logo of each team and had them guess the name of the team and it was people who didn't know football really trying their hardest to guess like the atlanta falcons someone was like the fire stallions

and it's really good anyway sometimes it's fun when it's made lovingly So, anyway, the premise of this is you basically state, we're going to show you how dumb people on the streets are.

And then everybody gets the question right, and you act like they're getting it wrong.

You are, and that is the nice part about this, you make yourself the dumb guy in this.

Yeah, that's a standard move for us.

Who is the first president of the United States?

George Washington.

And who is the current vice president of the United States?

Dick Cheney.

This is going to be worse than I thought.

It's still kind of charming and nice, but but you do expect more from us.

I expected more from us.

I kept waiting, as you said, for the other shoe to drop, for there to be a turn or a story or a narrative of some sort, something more clever.

Yes.

The classic one would have been somebody like, dude, you're wrong.

You're wrong.

You don't know what you're talking about.

And then I go, what?

And then I get super sad.

And then it cuts the shots and me wandering around the city super depressed and like, who am I?

But then going to a library and starting to learn and going back to college.

And then you still get it wrong at the end.

This all would have been better.

Yeah, we're immediately making it much better.

Or there's that moment where John Lutz, SNL writer, 30 Rock cast member, late night with Seth Meyers, writer now.

You're talking negatively about him and he notices.

And then I thought, oh, this is going to be about Lutz's character getting revenge on you.

But all the better ideas we're having would require a second location, which this sketch does not have.

Look, the Writer's Party is the week of the finale.

I think we maybe enjoyed that experience.

Yeah.

And it's on Thursday, right?

That was a really good party.

Yeah, the last SNL of the year, Thursday night, is the Writer's Party.

That means the cast comes as well, I should note.

No plus ones, though.

That's what makes it a spectacular evening out.

That's why it was so fun.

Yeah.

It's a real blow-off steamer.

And we shot Andy Walking the next morning, just for perspective.

And you can barely tell.

And it's fun for me because I still work in this building.

You literally walked out the revolving doors and shot there.

Yeah.

And then probably walked back in and edited for like 45 minutes.

Yeah.

Still managed to act like such a doofus with seemingly endless energy.

Some would even argue annoying.

You did have some good doofus energy in this one.

There's a few moments that made me chuckle, but we really needed that turn.

I think we should go back and shoot it, guys.

I mean, the end of this, we're going to just start reshooting digital shorts based on the notes we've come up with in the body of each podcast.

Were we writing Hot Rod at all, like rewriting Hot Rod at all at this point?

Oh, yeah.

I'm just trying to like desperately be like, we were probably doing something else.

We were deep into it.

It was May 20th, 2006, and we started shooting in July.

Oh, yeah.

Then that's why.

I don't know when, I feel like it's this week is when Lorne asks if I want to come out to Vancouver.

I feel like Lauren was the one who asked me to go be on the set for Hot Rod.

Yeah, probably.

Yeah.

Well, he might have asked us first if we would like that.

okay yes and what did we say keeve nope no all collectively just immediately then no

there's a way about lauren though you kind of just want to listen to him you know when he threatens to fire you and then it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to us i got to go out to vancouver i got to work on the movie you guys i feel like we're going to obviously talk about hot rod at some point you guys all shared a house i was in a really depressing sort of corporate hotel oh why didn't you live with us yeah it's bizarre I don't know.

But Bill and McBride were also in that hotel.

That's right.

Bill and McBride were also there.

The other thing about working on a movie versus working on an SNL, you work at SNL and there's so much hangout time.

You work super hard, but you hang out a ton.

Working on a movie is almost no hangout time.

Yeah.

It was super long days and then everybody was super tired and we didn't really do that much that was fun.

Is that your memory?

It would just be Saturdays, basically.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We got to walk around the park with Lauren going long walks around Vancouver Island or whatever that place is called.

Do you know that summer I had knee trouble and my doctor said, are you walking a lot?

I realized that I had hurt my knee just walking with Lauren, 35 years my senior.

Couldn't keep up.

He's not fucking around.

How?

The walk was just so long.

You hurt your knee.

It was like a five-mile, what is that walk in Vancouver?

Stanley Park?

Yeah, Stanley Park.

Stanley Park.

Yes, that's the one.

And it was a crazy five-mile walk.

And by the way, it was so much easier for me than Lauren because it's hard to walk and talk, which is what Lauren was doing.

And I was just walking and listening.

Yeah.

And I still, I feel like it's because it was a circle and we always went the one way.

You were always turning left the whole time.

I was always turning left for a whole summer.

Yeah, it's like a ridge runner has like a one leg that's longer, you know, because they're all

your left leg got messed up.

I do remember going on a walk with Lauren and having a full head of steam because the next season, I was going to be head writer for the show.

I was very excited about that.

I had a lot of ideas.

And I remember basically the first mile of the walk telling Lauren all my novel ideas for how to change up the show, the things I wanted to do as the head writer.

And Lauren did that, where he sort of answers in a riddle for you to solve.

He goes, Do you know how many head writers have told me this is how I'm going to fix the show?

And I was like, Oh, this isn't.

You're like, six?

Three.

I feel like that's the opposite of full steam ahead on all that.

Do you remember any of those ideas?

Did you really actually have some new ideas?

I did.

I wanted to just have pre-taped short 30-second things that would play after sketches so that you just like have a just more kinetic energy.

And I think it was probably based on how successful the digital shorts have been.

It was like leaning into having more pre-tape elements to get to more things.

Oh, cool.

Well, I mean, that has kind of come to pass.

That did happen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Classically ahead of my time.

Yeah, but you wanted like interstitials.

Yeah.

A little bit more interstitially.

That's basically what we were doing on Awesome Town, if it had come to be, because we kept shooting little like 20-second, 30-second, one-minute little pieces that were going to kind of glue the sketches together as opposed to doing a live audience like Key and Peel or Chappelle Show or that sort of thing.

The digital short, I should also note, this digital short, Andy Walking, I think there was a sense that it was not cream of the crop.

It did play pretty late in the show.

How late?

It was two sketches after update.

Yeah, that's pretty late.

As I remember it, though, it was a decent show, right?

It was a decent show.

It was also too short to really do a proper set change, wig change, I remember.

Yeah.

So it didn't really help Lauren in that regard.

Yeah, so it didn't help Lauren at all.

We refused to make it longer, mercifully.

That was always a credit to you guys.

You had a real integrity when he asked for another 30 seconds.

We're like, America can't handle that, Lauren.

I remember you guys once saying, how do you know that 15 more years from now, we're not going to be doing a recap podcast?

Yeah.

We got to stand by this length, this runtime.

There was a Falconer.

I forgot.

So Jor, you kind of stepped into the Falconer shoes.

I did.

We haven't mentioned the Falconer.

I kind of feel like maybe a little bit lost to history.

People maybe don't talk about the Falconer as much as they should.

The Falconer had quite a few sketches.

We were all fans of the Falconer before we got to this show.

In 1992, Ken Mortimer was an advertising executive in Baltimore, Maryland.

Then, for reasons known only to him, he left his wife and career and moved deep into the forest.

Now, he is known only as

the Falconer.

Sloven and Alan, who wrote the original sketches with Will Forte, were on the show before us, and I think that they had done at least three or four before we got to the show.

The story that I believe is true as to how they first wrote The Falconer is Sloven and Alan decided to open a dictionary, pick a word, and write a sketch about whatever it was.

I love that.

Is that true?

I believe that to be true.

Oh my God, that's wonderful.

I mean, it's pretty risky, but we should probably get Forte to record a voice note

with the 30-second cap to tell us if it's true that Falconer came from a dictionary.

But for those who forget, basically, Forte was a falconer.

He had a falcon named Donald, again, very ahead of his time, and a very selfish falcon.

But the falconer would fall victim to a fallen boulder, or his foot would get caught in a bear trap, and he would send the falcon for help.

And then there would just be the whole first minute was Forte, I should note, screaming,

screaming as the falconer.

Oh, Donald, Oh, Donald.

Oh, Donald.

So much of it was pre-taped puppet work of the Falcon would always, instead of going to get help, would like go to a casino or a strip club.

A Falconer week, so much time went into it because it was a puppet Falcon doing all these things.

And it would be stage pre-tapes.

Staged pre-tapes.

Yes.

And then this one was also very complicated, but all going to be happening live because it was a time travel episode.

Wait!

That time machine I was always talking about building out of trees, dirt, and gumption?

You built it, and today it will save Donald's life!

Donald!

No!

You blithering fool!

You distracted me from my sense of purpose!

Oh, so this is all my fault!

Oh, look, it's time to stop arguing and start time traveling.

We must go back in time to the point before Donald was shot.

To the time machine.

So by the end, I think there were 16 Falconer.

It was the entirety of the cast.

Right.

The cast all had the Falconer wig, beard, and shirt on.

Yes.

And we're all saying, oh, Donald.

I have photos, like really bad old cell phone photos of like Wig and maybe Bill wearing the Falconer outfit.

To the time machine.

It was a good one.

No one wrote denser premises than Forte.

And so this was a pretty late in the run.

This may very well be the final Falconer, and it would make sense that it would be the most confusing and hard to follow.

Yeah, having 16 people to say to the time machine.

This was called Falconer Across the Falcon Verse.

I should note that both Andy and Yorma are in the new Spider-Verse movie, and they're both great.

Or is it old?

By the time people hear this, probably old now.

I don't want to give away when we're filming this.

I will only tell you that the skies of New York are yellow with the smoke of burnt Canadian timber.

Oh, well, that could be anytime.

Luckily, that will be happening in the future, too.

Let's just say there's enough time between episodes for Seth to forget what we're calling the podcast every time.

It's true.

So each podcast starts with Seth going.

I know.

This is, I get the Seth Meyers Lonely Island podcast.

So however many weeks, months, or years you think it takes between them to forget the title.

Like our voices have changed.

Andy has been, and I say this with sympathy.

Andy has been too sick sick to do a podcast for like two and a half months.

I don't know that I can be solely blamed.

I'm being sympathetic to the fact that a lot of times you are, you know, too sick to do a podcast.

I think that's a real sickness.

I mean, yes, over the last few months, that's been the case.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We've all had our stuff.

I mean, you could argue that it's your fault.

Me?

Yeah, because I came to do your show.

Oh, yeah, because you came to New York and then you got long COVID.

Yeah.

Our gift bag had long COVID.

God, we got so fucked up though, Seth.

Me and you just fucking partying.

We did.

Worth it.

So, oh my god, bro.

We fucking took it to the mat, bitch.

You guys don't live in New York City, but I know a lot of you think, like, hey, Andy, it said you have kids, you can't rock hard.

Well, we actually did have pasta dinner, then go back to my apartment, drink a little bit of whiskey, and then Andy got sick for two and a half months.

That's right.

Well worth it.

Rage aholics.

We watched, I think you should leave on Andy's phone

before it drops.

Before it drops.

NBD, unpaid producer.

Congrats.

You guys are doing a lot of unpaid producing work.

Is that going well?

Oh, man.

That's where it's at.

That's the only kind to do that's worth doing.

The show's about to go through some changes.

This is a big summer.

Yeah.

I don't think we add anybody, but the cast thins out and it kind of becomes the lean cast that.

For my money, I think we know where I stand on it.

The greatest cast in the history of the show.

A golden era.

Yes.

It is a very exciting time.

Now, you guys had it better sketched than your digital short, and it's high up in the show.

And it is called Andy and Kevin Backstage.

It's act three.

That's still pretty good.

Andy and Kevin Backstage, you guys wrote it, and it is a very clever take on usual suspects that the audience does not see coming, which is why it works perfectly, much like usual suspects.

You have no idea.

And it's weird how this worked because half of it was live at dress.

And you can tell because the eyelines are terrible because it's in a dressing room and the dressing room is too tight.

And you can tell it's very hard to find his cards.

So it looks bad.

But then it goes to a pre-tape and it gets really good.

It should have been all pre-taped, but it's crazy that it wasn't.

I believe that the ask was after we wrote it that much like older like 80s SNL stuff, there was a desire for it to seem like like it really was happening live.

Right.

But then it absolutely doesn't because anyone, any layman could tell the moment it goes from live to pre-taped.

Yes.

Because it all of a sudden gets super sharp.

Very Falconer-esque, actually.

Yeah.

But basically, and again, a little bit of spoiler alert, both on the sketch and on usual suspects.

But Andy, you come in.

Kevin's mad that you're late and you tell a story.

About why, yeah.

Look, I'm really sorry, but I can explain.

Oh, save it.

I'm not buying it.

I was in a cab on the the way to the show, okay?

But I guess Kofi Anan was making a speech at the UN, so traffic was terrible.

So I decided to take the subway, and I'm on the subway, and you know those bald street performer guys who paint themselves gold and ask for change?

Yeah.

Well, there were two of them on my train, and they got in a fight.

So I had to give a statement to a pair of police officers because I was the only person there.

When you got out of the elevator, Stone Phillips was there.

And...

Oh, Radiohead.

You ask Kevin Space if he likes Radiohead, and then you say, I wanted to give you Radiohead tickets because as soon as I saw you, I felt guilty.

Again, not a laugh has happened.

No.

A lot of buildup.

Dry as a bone.

Dry as a bone and kind of jankly shot.

At this point, it's a bad piece of sketch comedy.

Yeah, everyone's like, Duh fuck.

Duh-fuck.

Everyone's like, I was promised Andy walking.

And we were all, you're going to have to wait.

Then Kevin Spacey turns around.

You've won him over with these radiohead tickets.

He takes a sip of tea.

Then he drops it.

He realizes something.

He drops it.

Like usual, suspect, hits the ground, shatters.

Now we're in a pre-tape.

Same location, but now all the edits are super tight.

Everything looks good.

And we're playing the voiceover of your story again.

But I guess Kofi Anon was making a speech at the UN.

Decided to take the subway.

Those bald dancing guys that paint themselves gold, there were two of them.

Give a statement to a pair of police officers.

Me and some bum who looked like red fox.

And who gets in my elevator?

Stone Phillips.

Do you like Radiohead?

How did I not see that?

So we have our first laugh from the audience is the recognition that this is a usual suspects sketch.

Yes, the cup dropping, everyone knew the moment, which was a huge relief, obviously.

You see a photo of Kofi Anon,

very one-for-one.

Then you see a Subway sandwich.

That's how you came up with Subway.

Yeah.

The two gold painted guys, picture of Kevin Spacey holding his two Oscars.

Right.

I should note in the script, it was not in the actual sketch, but the way you guys wrote it in the sketch, which made me laugh.

And I don't know if it was just like too hard a move, was when he sees the picture of his Oscars.

It makes him happy for a second.

And then

we hear you say, I gave a statement to a pair of police officers.

There is the band police album next to a pair.

The fruit.

That one doesn't quite work.

It's working for me right now.

I know it's a Sperano.

Red Fox, there's a stuffed, the reason this doesn't work is a stuffed brown fox.

What?

So that hurts you guys.

I mean, sure, by the way, I know what happens.

I'm sure that is technically a taxidermied red fox.

It is way less red than it needed to be for the joke.

That's color correct.

That was our fault.

Now you're hurting a little bit.

I will say, I think that's two in a row where the audience now thinks they're ahead of you.

We hear Stone Phillips cuts to a stone, pans to a Phillips head screwdriver.

You got the audio.

Radio head, a transistor radio next to a severed silver head.

Again, they're like not quite with you.

What?

I'm just telling you, I watched it and saw how it played.

But then the coup de grace.

We hear you say, and we pan with each word.

As soon as I, picture of an eyeball, we're just panning across a shelf where all these things are.

As soon as I, picture of an eyeball, saw a hand saw, you, picture of a sheep, I, the letter I, felt.

It's just a picture of green felt on the wall.

Gil, there's an upside-down fish with a red arrow on the fish pointing at the gill.

Tea and a tea bag.

Oh, yeah.

Then Kevin runs out.

Now it's live again.

Immediately, bad.

It gets worse.

He runs out to the page desk.

Yorma cameo.

Oh, yeah.

Yorma says, you just got a fax, which is, again, a callback to usual suspects.

Yorma hands Andy the fax, and it is a caricature of Andy saying, I lied.

Looking pretty doofy.

Yeah.

That was not how it was scripted because I read the script first, and I kind of liked the script.

I know why it changed.

But in the original script, the whole time, a fax was running, because that also is happening in the movie.

And the fax, it's a police sketch of Andy with the words, instead of I lied, which by the way, I lied was going to play better, but this made me laugh.

It was a picture of you and it just said, remember that movie?

Oh, I do like that.

Oh, that's way better.

Yeah, that is better.

We lost that argument.

Remember that movie is the rewrite between dress and air.

And I'm sure what happened is they were like, oh, I know what happened.

They used that part from dress because you didn't do it again at air.

Ah.

Oh, yeah.

So we didn't get a chance.

You didn't get a chance to make any changes.

Only changes you could edit.

All right.

Got it.

So we thought of remember that movie and didn't get to shoot it.

Yeah.

So you guys did come up with a better version, but then for some reason, I think Lauren said, let's just use the whole thing.

Let's turn it into a pre-tape now.

Yeah.

I feel like it was the cold open at dress and then it got moved back.

And that's probably why.

Interesting.

Well, you know what probably happened?

Huh?

The cold open at air was such a banger, they had to move it up.

Is it time for Seth's corner?

Who wrote that?

I guess it's time for Seth's corner.

You're going to seamless transition.

Seth's Corner, you're all invited.

Seth's Corner, it's happening right now.

Take it away, Seth.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

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Well, guys, it's an Anderson Cooper 360.

And this, I know for a fact, is the final Anderson Cooper 360 because when we come back in the fall, I will be a co-anchor of Weekend Update with my friend Amy Poehler and America's Long National Nightmare of watching me host sketches as Anders Cooper is over.

Oh, my God.

I really did enjoy it.

I feel like, well, first of all, again, this is 2006.

All the jokes are about how handsome anders cooper is and he looks exactly the same so shout out to anderson cooper yeah not sure if he's a listener but i think i told you guys the first time i met anderscooper was at my gym and he said hi seth and i went over to say hi and he was on a treadmill and it was at the fastest speed at the highest incline and he talked like we were just standing there

but he still does that it was like nothing i'd ever seen before made lauren going on a walk seem like you going on a walk yeah there was an anderson cooper 360 cold open.

And again, you know, I apologize you guys got knocked down the running order, but, you know, at some point, it's just good to be in the show.

Absolutely.

The funny thing is it's about sending U.S.

troops to the border, to the Mexican border.

So Time is a Flat Circle.

This is 2006.

Yeah.

This is very similar stuff.

Keenan is a National Guardsman who's super psyched to be going to the border instead of Iraq.

For me, the highlight, and again, I really enjoyed writing Daryl Hammond as Arnold Schwarzenegger.

One of my favorite impressions.

And it was all stuff that he brought.

He had this impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger that was so fun to write because he would always say all diss and all dat.

That was the thing that his Arnold Schwarzenegger would say.

He would end sentences with, or some such thing.

And things of that nature, maybe as well.

Yeah.

And things of that nature.

I would steal his uniform and infiltrate his unit and things of that nature.

I do remember that.

It was the best.

And it was a really good, sometimes the prosthetics can get a little over the top, but it was great.

Yeah.

It was genuinely super funny when he showed up on screen.

I will say, having watched Daryl for so many years before we worked there, when we did finally work there, getting to see him do that stuff live, we were like, oh my God.

Not just him, like getting to see like Bill and Fred and Wig do impressions and stuff as well.

We were just like, God damn, how do people do it this well?

Yeah.

And with timing and with like a perspective, it's a whole other skill set, obviously.

And it it was something that was very like shocking to see live for me.

And the thing about Daryl's that was always so shocking to me is he didn't just do the voice.

He would like take on their charisma.

He was so charismatic when he was doing Bill Clinton and sketches.

Yeah.

So it wasn't just the voice.

You wanted to hang out with that dude because he seemed like he was having so much fun.

Where then he did Arnold Schwarzenegger and there was he did it with a no charisma.

And it was equally funny.

Like he knew exactly how it was.

I agree with you.

Great.

The best.

Yeah.

Love you.

And then in the end, there was heavy flooding in the northeast.

And again, sometimes you just got the right tools in the toolbox, right?

Schwarzenegger is in the news, so you get Daryl.

And then there's flooding in the Northeast.

And Rachel Dratch happens to be there to be an angry New Englander.

Joining us now is Peabody, Massachusetts resident Pat Danahey.

Pat, how bad is the situation?

Apparently, not bad enough to get you up here, Cooper.

If we were in New Orleans, you would have been here before the first drop hit the ground.

What happened?

Did you lose, you slicker?

Thanks, Seth.

You did a great job.

That's been Seth Connor.

See you next time.

That was really good.

Do you think this is the final lobster claw and handlebar dress rehearsal death?

You know what?

I think, yeah, a requiem for lobster claw and handlebar because I do believe this is the final.

For me, it was 50 first dates, that movie 50 first dates, but it was 50 first funerals.

Oh, yeah.

Because I just had to keep reliving the Saturday where I thought each time.

It hurt just as bad each time.

Worse.

But you learned a lesson.

I will say there's a sketch that got cut called Spirit of the Wolf written by Fred Armison that I'm pretty sure is a store in an airport that sells like shirts with wolves on it.

There was a Vincent Price that didn't go to air, which is interesting because obviously now everyone knows Bill Hater's Vincent Price sketch is kind of a smash hit thing that aired a bunch of times.

But I do remember this first season that he was on with us, there was like a little bit of a struggle to figure out exactly how to format it.

Yes.

But everyone knew he had an awesome take and it was really funny and he did it in his audition and everything.

I agree.

It does sort of start finding its way into having three other really good parts, really good impressions.

Yeah.

It's about funny things that go wrong and he becomes just very put upon.

That turns into what his Vincent Price becomes.

Yes.

But yeah, cut Vincent Price, which is a remember to the kids out there, stick it out.

Okay, go ahead.

What song did Nelly Furtado sing?

She sang two, but give me one.

I mean, I have already looked, so it won't be a guess.

No, you already know.

I wouldn't have gotten either.

Timberland was there.

That's pretty cool.

What's her most famous song?

I'm like a picka bird.

I don't know if I want to play.

That's what I thought.

But that was her previous album.

This was her next album, I believe.

Yeah.

This is Promiscuous Girl.

I can't sing that one.

That one's famous.

Promiscuous Girl is a good track.

That was a big hit.

That was just playing at a coffee shop today.

Me and Keith have been talking about how basically everywhere we go now, there's early 90s hip-hop playing.

It's that.

It's 90s area hip-hop that makes me feel old.

Yeah.

Especially because my son also is like, oh, hip-hop.

That's something dad likes.

And I'm like, what?

Right.

So when you go in and like an early Jay-Z song is playing or Souls of Mischief, is it like when we were kids and like Motown, like Marvin Gaye or even like, wait a minute, Mr.

Postman was playing?

No, it's not to that point yet, but I do think, oh, the people who are owning and running this restaurant are my age and they're also old yeah but i don't think of it as like motown they're not trying to make us feel comfortable they just like it yeah my seven-year-old had a school dance and it was all i feel like second grade and younger it was in like the gym but the dj was playing apple bottom jeans and i definitely have been in a nightclub where they were playing it And that made me feel like I was at my own funeral.

The song I had heard in a nightclub was now so anodyne to just be like kids dancing around with glow sticks.

I felt like I died in a house and my ghost still lived there and nobody could hear or see me.

You were kind of like a Vecna.

Yeah, classic Vecna.

Yeah.

I didn't like that.

I didn't like that at all.

And I took the microphone and said as much.

Okay, good.

I made a bit of a scene about it.

It's also not an appropriate song.

Seth, do you want to hear my stand-up joke about this phenomenon?

Yeah.

So when I'm at a restaurant now and they start playing Wu-Tang, I go, ah, shit.

And then I go, ah, shit.

Because it just means I'm old.

It's good.

Yeah.

That's why I quit stand-up.

Because of that.

Because that's what I would be doing.

And then everyone would be like, fuck you, you piece of shit.

They'd be like, fucking kill me.

I deserve it.

You know what I mean?

I do.

It is interesting, though.

Here's the thing that I haven't cracked as a stand-up joke.

So I'll just share it with Pod.

Our parents, their dangerous music, they could play for us and not have to worry about covering our ears.

Yeah.

that's right.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like, there was no ice cube equivalent for our parents.

Yes.

If we play the songs of our youth, it's a problem.

Most of them are more offensive than even today's offensive music.

There are some exceptions.

Yes.

Don't the Beatles have a song called Horny Little Devil?

I remember my parents running in during Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds being like, No, it's about acid.

It does make you feel old when I'm annoyed that there aren't more censored albums on streaming.

When I'm like, where are all the censors?

Oh, man.

Like, you can get a few, but even our albums, one of them you can't get.

Yeah, we didn't bother to do it all the time, and now I regret that.

Really?

And you can't retroactively?

What's a song that is too dirty to play to your kids that you wish you could play to your kids?

I mean, every one of our songs is too dirty to play.

There's only YOLO, and there's maybe like one or two others.

I just play them for them now, but my kids are older.

Isn't there a clean version of I'm On a Boat, say?

I feel like there is.

Yeah, yeah.

There is.

It's just bleeped to all hell.

But we did that whole album.

Incredibly, we did a clean, quote-unquote, censored version.

And Turtle Neg and Chain.

It's just we don't have the third one.

I blew it super hard.

So I don't know if you guys remember.

Andy, you did a voice.

So you probably, or I don't know, maybe you don't remember.

You've had a very busy career.

Oh, man.

Thanks for saying that.

Anyway, Shoemaker and I had a show called The Awesomes, a superhero show, three seasons on Hulu.

Of course, I remember Seth.

Thanks, bud.

Do you remember your character's name?

Nope.

And again, we made a superhero show.

And the least interesting part about it is it's dirty.

And it's not real dirty, but there's too many beeps.

And now I've got a seven-year-old who loves it.

And yet I'm like, who it was trying to be too cool when we didn't need to be.

You know, because again, we're making a cartoon at the time that it's still the time, obviously, but

you have South Park and you have things like that.

And you're like, yeah, we should be a little more dangerous with their show.

And it's such a drag now because my my son really likes watching it.

And every now and then there's some, I don't know, sexual innuendo and you realize, I don't think anybody was watching the superhero show for that.

Okay, well, Keeve, now that you have kids that you can play cursing for, do you appreciate that we were so dirty?

Or are you like, what Seth just said, you wish that we had toned it down a little bit?

It's less that.

I guess it's more, I mean, I think we talked about this, but it's for all SNL.

What we really didn't care about was being really dirty or really scary with no warning it was going to happen on the show.

Like, you know, an update joke could quickly flash Freddy Krueger's face in a way that a kid who had never seen Freddy Krueger would go, oh,

what was that?

In a way that could give them nightmares.

And we would not have thought twice about something like that.

Cause we'd be like, yeah, it's a Freddy Krueger joke.

Here's an image of Freddy Krueger.

You know, it's midnight.

Who cares?

And now when I'm watching with my kids, they like watching SNL, but they're afraid it's going to scare them or show them something that they don't want to see.

And it's going to haunt their dreams, literally.

So I would have been more cognizant of not scaring or putting something dirty in the middle of something that's not dirty for no reason kind of thing.

So in your verse for I'm on a boat, you stand by the fact that you curse 16 times and Andy doesn't curse at all.

Yeah, that's fine.

Okay.

Yeah.

That means Uncle Andy can come over anytime he wants.

Pretty much an open invite.

Axel now, every night, wants me to tell him a superhero story where he picks like seven superheroes that need to be in the story.

Oh, wow.

And then last night he said, you can pick the bad guy.

And so I'm just running out.

It's exhausting coming up with a superhero story.

Oh, yeah.

But I said, The bad guy's going to be Killer Kroc.

And I tell the story, and he said, What does Killer Kroc look like?

And I'm like, I'll just Google.

And I, you know, I haven't seen Killer Croc in a long time.

And so I Google image on my phone in his bed.

And it's the most terrifying drawing of Killer Croc.

And then an hour later, he has a nightmare.

And Alexi goes, and I'm like, what was it about?

She was like, I don't like half man, half crocodile.

And I'm like,

oh, where did they come up with this stuff?

Good night.

Try not to wake me up next time.

You know, William Goldman, who wrote Princess Bride, was just telling those stories, making them up to his daughters at bedtime and then wove it into the book.

And then that became the screenplay.

And there you go.

Yeah.

So start making stuff up.

The problem is my kids only like stories about IP.

Right.

Yeah.

And it's hard to secure that.

But is that a problem or is that a blessing?

You know?

That's true.

Also, we have the awesomes.

I'm going to keep pitching the awesomes available to stream on Hulu, but we made for one of the season premieres at Comic-Con.

It was packs of awesome cards, and it was the same eight cards.

It was the eight characters, and we were just handing them out.

And so, Shoemaker had a bunch of them in his office.

And he said, Oh, if your kids like them, give them these packs of cards.

So, I gave Ash and Axel a pack of these cards, and they loved him.

And then Ash put him in his little binder where he has baseball cards and Pokemon cards, and he brought it to school.

And the next day, he's like, I'm going to say something that's going to hurt your feelings.

I said, What is it?

He goes, Nobody wanted the awesomes cards.

And

he said, one of my friends said, the fact that your dad has a show called The Awesomes and he's in it is very selfish.

I'm like, I don't think he's using selfish racks.

Wait, hold on.

Was he trying to trade the cards, though?

Yes.

He was like, who wants an awesomes card?

And I guess kids responded the way you guys did when Lauren said, do you want Seth on Hot Rod?

It was like, nah.

Is that our next episode?

Is that what we're talking about?

We are going to do an Awesomes recap until we get to Andy's episode, which I remember.

I was talking about a hot rod.

Episode one season three he played a seaman uh which is a pun yeah it was there were a lot of seamen jokes okay i was talking about our work on the movie hot rod oh yeah we are going to do hot rod we are going to do a hot rod episode there's going to be a lot to talk about with hot rod we should do an awesomes one too we should we should i guess this kind of counts as it yeah i think we've covered it

so this is episode 10.

i feel like if we think about this podcast in seasons this is sort of the end of season one

but we're going to do an episode about hot rod and i feel like we should also do a bonus episode about noodles in the pot yeah i mean how long are we going to run from it i agree so down great yes please you know assuming i'm healthy you know obviously oh it's a dice roll just keep me away from seth because that guy is my downfall you have long sandberg yeah don't go to any eight o'clock dinners i feel like we didn't talk enough about how first of all no one went longer without getting covered than you andrew congrats thank you

and that was shocking because you were incredibly sickly in your years at sml that's right and i feel like that has not been the case You've been leading a very robust, healthy life in Los Angeles.

You could almost say I suffered for my art.

God, would you say that?

Almost.

I'm not going to say it.

I could almost.

Yeah, I wouldn't expect you to.

I said almost.

It would be crazy for you to fully do it.

All right, you guys, that wraps up the first season of Lonely Islands, time at SNL.

Our next episode is going to be very exciting.

One of the biggest ones yet.

We are going to talk about the film Hot Rod.

Hear us then.