Young Chuck Norris

Hey everybody, I'm Seth Meyers, and this is the Lonely Island podcast where I'm joined by the Lonely Island Akiva Schaffer.

Hi.

Yorma Tkone.

Hello.

And Andy Samberg.

Hi.

And this is a trip through SNL and the Otts.

And as Yorma emailed me to say, you ought not miss it.

I did say that.

Welcome to another Lonely Island Seth Meyers podcast.

Hey guys, we should also note that by the time this podcast comes out, we probably will have decided on a name, but we, as recording episode four, have still not, as a group, decided on the name.

Even you just now said it was the Lonely Island podcast.

Yeah, there you go.

This is the sort of sloppy beginnings, which is very nice because I feel like, you know, the Lonely Island on SNL also had some sloppy beginnings.

And eventually you find what you're going to be, right?

Great segue.

Great segue.

Jorma, do you want to take one second before we get into it to just pitch what you think it should be called?

Does no one like the idea of it being called four shock jocks?

No.

No, it's bad.

Oh, all right.

And now, Andy, have you, I don't know, has your attitude on doing a podcast and participating in one changed at all now that we're in episode four?

Not really.

I don't see the appeal.

And every time I see it in my calendar, I go, fuck.

I love it.

I love it.

Just like right off the bat.

Yeah, I love doing it.

I love listening to cuts.

But I woke up this morning thinking, how is Andy feeling today?

I mean, I hate to think that everyone else is worrying about it.

I think it was very healthy in in the last episode to hear that you also hated fake raps.

We all hate fake racks.

I think for the world at large, they would say that's some of your finest work.

And so, based on how much you hate podcasts, I think if we could only have half the success that you had with your frapping.

I think my feelings towards podcasts are like symptomatic of a greater issue, which is not feeling like I have enough time to do the things I want to do in general.

Yeah.

And that includes listening to and enjoying a podcast.

So I've never really had time to listen to podcasts.

So I don't know why people like them.

So then I also don't know why I would spend time making one.

I like thinking that while you're making a podcast, you're kicking yourself because of all the time that you could have spent listening to a podcast.

Well, I will say I could have heard a great episode of a podcast while we were making this.

Wait, this conversation about podcasts?

Yeah, like I bet you there's a great one out there that everyone's like, oh, that's a classic episode of a podcast.

This is eating into your possible podcast listening time.

So while while you're having this conversation with us, the other side of your brain is saying this is a waste of time that would be better spent listening to a podcast.

Yeah, or exercising.

One or the other.

Well, that's the great thing.

You can do both.

That's how people enjoy podcasts.

You can go for a run and just listen to a podcast.

But that's why people hate doing podcasts because it's almost impossible to exercise while you're doing one.

But you did just give me a great idea, which is I'm about to order a Thigh Master.

Oh, I thought you were going to say that you wanted to do a podcast about exercises you can do while podcasting.

Are they still making thigh masters?

Masters?

Do you think you could go get one tomorrow?

I think so, yeah.

Right?

As a comedy prop, there's one store that still does it, eBay.

Yeah.

For sketches.

Right.

They sell things like Furbies and Thigh Masters.

Shake Wakes.

Just things that only Shake Wake.

A lot of cans of Forloco.

Yeah, yeah.

Rubber chickens.

Yeah.

It's a little bit like Noah's Ark, except it's one of everything that you might need for a comedy sketch.

We wanted to find a can of forloco, but then we got an email back saying, sorry, Colin Jost ordered all of them and they don't exist anymore.

We have Zima.

Hey, I'm going to use Colin Jost as another transition.

Okay.

Because I think one thing that's going to become very clear on this podcast is how good I am at Segways.

And again, unfair advantage.

I'm a talk show host.

And a damn good one.

Emmy nominated.

Oh, well, thank you very much.

Yeah.

We obviously talked about Lazy Sunday.

There is a show where a short does not air between Lazy Sunday and the next short, and that is Scarlett Joast hosting.

She did take his name, right?

I can't remember.

I don't think that's definitely.

Yeah, did.

It wasn't working out for her.

Joe Stanson.

And do you remember anything about that Scarlet show, you guys?

No.

I can't wait for you to tell us about it.

Wait, did we do the tangent that week?

You did.

Wait, the tangent is before Lazy Sunday?

No, we're after Lazy Sunday.

No, no, no.

All right, so let me clarify.

Akiva, listen to Seth.

Listen to what he's saying.

Yeah, bud.

Listen, I'm trying.

I'm really trying, but I'm so jet lagged and it's so boring.

So, Scarlett hosts, you guys film a digital short called Tangent that does not air.

It will eventually air.

We'll talk about it when it airs.

Then it is the Peter Skarsgaard show, and we have our next digital short.

Can I just really quickly go back?

Yeah.

Is it called Tangent or the Tangent?

Is it like an Eagle's situation?

I thought it was the tangent.

I think it's the tangent because that's a little more pompous.

Yeah, it's the tangent.

It's so crazy how many years later this is and how when you said it didn't air, I immediately got offended.

I was like, that one's good.

That's one of my favorites.

Well, it eventually did.

Yeah, yeah.

And we'll talk about it when it did, but I do remember that we left in the shot of Scarlett Johansson and I wondered if we needed to cut it because she wasn't the host and it gave away the fact that it had been.

Okay, save it, save it, save it.

Oh, yeah, that's good stuff.

Save it for the tangent episode of this hit podcast.

But real quick for Scarlett, worth noting is Chandeliers is a really wonderful sketch.

I would argue classic.

A real classic with her and Fred.

I would say a moment, at least for us, of being like, whoa, Scarlett's funny.

Scarlett was super funny.

Yeah, like she killed it.

Obviously, this is the beginning of her five-timers stint.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Chandeliers is great.

Chandeliers is.

You gotta buy right now.

Is that it?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes.

And that's a great sketch.

You gotta get a chandelier.

But don't take our word for it.

Listen to our beautiful daughter, Lexi.

Look at all these chandeliers, right?

Look at this one.

Look at that one.

Look at this one.

Look at that one.

Look, are you kidding me?

If you had one of these in your house, you could look like a millionaire.

You could look like the king of England, like the king of France or something.

Imagine walking in your house and seeing this one or that one.

Haven't they done sequels to Chandelier?

Like when Scarlet would come and it'd be different versions of what they're selling, but this was the first?

Yeah, like Stone Fountains, right?

I feel like that's one.

Okay, now I got it.

Marble Columns.

Marble Columns.

Yes.

Your one reason we might not know the live show as well is on Fridays, you guys would stand on the stage blocking sketches all day, and we would be out shooting.

So you would get to see more, or you'd be at the rewrite table where you're seeing them all get put up and you're rewriting them.

And at a certain point, we were very rarely at the rewrite table going over the sketches either.

Yes, and then Saturday, we were editing the entire day basically up until the show aired.

Yeah, so you shoot the tangent, the tangent gets cut from the Scarlet show.

Now it's the Peter Sarsgaard show, and you go back to the musical well for young Chuck Norris.

Let's talk about your memories of young Chuck Norris.

So I believe Harper Steele had put it to the table.

I don't know how it existed as a live sketch, but it had a version of it there.

And I remember we all thought it was super funny and we were big, big fans of hers.

She had done things like Astronaut Jones, Give Up the Ham, Give Up the Ham.

Give Up the Ham with Queen Latifah and Chris Parnell.

Give up the ham.

Brother Loving Brother, give up the ham.

Oh, yeah.

One of the best SNL sketches of all time.

Almost a perfect sketch.

I still quote Give Up the Ham all the time.

I still sing it a lot.

Do you sing the Brother Loving Brother?

I sing the whole thing.

It's a great tune.

I recently texted her because I was re-watching Mad Men and there's an episode in Mad Men where Peggy basically stages a fight at a supermarket over a ham as sort of a publicity stunt.

And I basically texted a photo with the subtitles on of her talking about a ham fight and basically told Steele they fully ripped it off from her.

They clearly did.

And what was the response?

She basically said she's going to take legal action.

Retrospect.

She's going to get some of that Mad Men money.

man.

Yeah, but do you guys remember it that way?

That she had written something with young Chuck Norris with Sudakis, and it didn't get picked, but it had the seeds of it.

Going to her and being like, do you think there's a full song there where you could just get rid of the sketch part and just make a song, an ode to the young Chuck Norris?

Yeah, there was an opening theme song in the live sketch, and we were like, that's the part that we love.

We could make it into a video if we could make the song longer.

And she was like, great.

Yeah.

You know what's interesting is these first ones have a lot of guest writers.

And as we go on, it almost never happened.

We had sometimes co-writers, but we very rarely worked in terms of writing with anybody else at a certain point.

Yes, I will also say that out of almost any writer at the show, Harper is like who I wanted to be in terms of like the content and everything that she ever brought to sketches.

That is the writer I looked up to the most.

Also wrote the film Ladies' Man and the Ladies' Man sketches?

Yes, and gave me one of the Ladies Man candles afterwards, which I still have.

Wrote Wahlberg Talks to Animals with me.

Oh, yeah.

There you go.

I had the impression, and we sat down, and she was like, just put a bunch of live animals in it, and things will go haywire.

That'll be

good.

There you go.

Done.

Hey, dog.

How's it going?

I like your fur.

That looks really great.

So you're a dog, right?

What's that all about?

Okay.

Well, it was great to meet you.

Say hi to your mother for me, okay?

She also had a robust vinyl jazz album collection in her office.

Yes.

There were a lot of the trappings of what you expected a comedy writer to behave like.

This is also a tangent, appropriate.

But Harper at one point needed to transfer all of her music to a hard drive.

And I don't know why she couldn't do this because she had taken all of her vinyl music and put it on MP3.

So there's thousands of songs, like amazing, super weird.

You can imagine what kind of songs, just the weirdest stuff.

And so I said, if I help you do this this to transfer it to a hard drive, will you give me all your music?

And the answer was yes.

And I then would look through, I still do this, where I look through, and there's such amazing gems where she at one point put herself into a Tom Waits live album where people are listening to Tom Waits and it's like him being like, oh, small change got rained on with his own 38.

And then in the audience, you can hear Harper saying like, oh, that's a good point.

Yes.

Oh, small change.

Yes.

And there's like amazing, like where I'm like, why did you make this?

The most hilarious shit.

Another Harper memory is that Harper made a very crude drawing of a man's face

with a voice bubble on cardboard.

Yes.

Like the side of a cardboard box, cut it out and taped it to a stick.

And I think it had a voice bubble that said, my name is Thurman and I like butts and boobs.

And then she would lean out her window with it on a stick and reach over to the adjacent office where often Spivey, Polar, Maya would be working and she would bang it against the window.

And then the women would sort of play act shock at this peeping Tom.

And then they would run into Harper's office and Harper would be at her computer acting like nothing had happened, but her room would be freezing because obviously her window had been open in the middle of winter.

I want to also say this is the 17th floor and it's an old building.

It It doesn't have any protection that makes it that you don't fall out.

You can just open those windows wide.

That's what you can call worth it comedy.

Yeah.

I think that would be the saddest death.

And I should say Harper wrote a lot of musical sketches.

So this is very much in line with it.

Was Harper also head writer at this time?

No, I think it was Tina.

I thought it was Sherid, yeah.

It might have been Tshawn Shannon at that point, but yeah.

And the four of you guys turned her sketch into a digital short.

Yeah.

I mean, Steele really just wrote the whole song and gave it to us, and then we did the video treatment, essentially, like wrote the visual script.

I don't think we changed any of the words or anything.

What I also recall was because this was our like third or fourth thing, we had been doing them as we've gone over, just completely on our own, but this one required hair and makeup because Sadegas has to look like young Chuck Norris.

Excuse me, actually, Samberg has to look like young Chuck Norris.

Oh, yeah, you do.

He's the singer whose name I can't recall.

Yes, yes.

He's remembering.

You've got to.

It's his video about young Chuck Norris.

Yeah.

I totally forgot about that.

I will say, Keeve, I broke our rule and I did watch it before we got on here.

Just because I was like, what?

How?

Why did you cheat?

I was just curious what it even was.

I didn't remember what the video itself was.

I don't remember either, actually.

Young Norris used his hands and his feet and he kicked and he punched with his hands and his feet.

He also ran and jumped in the air.

He was younger, so he didn't even care.

I had two takeaways.

Are we far enough into this for me to talk about my takeaways?

Please.

I think it's time for the takeaways.

So, reflecting back on young Chuck Norris, Andy, what are your takeaways?

My two takeaways were: one,

I really loved Sudegas' vocal performance and a lot of the actual melodic turns in the song itself.

And then the second one was, oh, this didn't totally work, but you see blueprint moves of ours that later appear in other things that were much more successful.

Like the list of things about Chuck Norris feels very similar to the steps in Dick in a Box, for example.

And the location, I think, is maybe the exact same as Dick in a Box in a few shots.

And Ross Trent, too.

And things things like that.

Yeah, the West Side Highway instantly becomes the new stoop.

Yeah.

And a recurring theme of where you guys go to shoot things.

Yes.

Even like the punching Fred, it doesn't go as long as I crave it to go, but you can see that it would later become Hero Song.

Yep.

Like little things like that.

There are a lot of seeds being planted for other things that we sort of expanded on later.

What I also like about it is that it feels very much like 12-year-olds making a video, which you did not see on SNL.

Like the fact that we left like a jogger in there and today because it's like singing in front of two people that clearly don't want to be on camera.

Yeah, you can tell we just ran around.

We just went out with a camera.

Yeah.

It very much looks run around.

And then there are moments that I think of the way when any of us made videos before we were professionals, just Andy crawling on a lamppost is a thing you just

on the shot list.

Just get it.

Yeah, it's funny.

It's funny.

And the best moment, young Chuck Norris looking in the garbage can and then getting caught looking.

That's the best shot in the whole thing.

Yeah, I agree.

Yeah.

And I think my favorite vocal line is karate.

Interesting.

With that said, I think that if we could talk a little bit about why it isn't best of and doesn't fully work, it hits the ground running and you never fully quite understand what's going on.

Correct.

It doesn't pay off.

Yeah.

I think weirdly, it would have been slower as a sketch and you would have had more time to sort of, I don't quite remember how it was written written as a sketch, but it probably would have settled in a little bit easier.

I remember it was during a moment when there was that whole thing of like Chuck Norris that like ended up turning into the most interesting man in the world campaign that they ripped off, right?

Oh, yeah.

And I remember us not liking the fact that there was a pre-existing Chuck Norris comedy thing that everyone knew about and liked.

And that was the one thing that made us question whether or not to do this one.

But you being an older version of Chuck Norris, I very much like your look in this, at least.

You mean younger?

Younger, sorry.

Yes.

Like classically, the whole premise is it's young Chuck Norris.

That is true.

The opposite of what I said.

Yeah.

I should note, it does seem like when you go back and watch it, it does seem like the hair department spent a ton of time on Andy's wig and then had like 30 seconds for Sudakasis.

Agreed.

And the mustache.

The mustache also.

You could tell it was fake.

They also didn't come with us either.

They don't have extra employees yet for us.

At a certain point when we were doing these every week, they hired an extra makeup person that would go with it.

Right, right.

They sent us off into Central Park with like powder puffs to be like, you know, make sure you don't get too shiny.

Yeah.

And this was not even with a cameraman.

This was you shooting this, right, Keith?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We still didn't have a crew.

It was still just me and Yorm as the crew.

Are we still borrowing a camera from Maggie at this time?

I think we are.

That's a great question because it is still mini DV.

Maybe they got us one, but we may have been borrowing.

You would think after Lazy Sunday they'd give you your own camera.

You would think.

And you would think after watching Sedaikes' wig basically come off Nick's sketch, they would give you your own hair person.

But to be fair, we didn't have have a real DP for like four years.

When we get to the first HD one, we can talk about why it's in HD and as it relates to like the unions and basically when we had done enough that we got in trouble, but we can wait on that.

Yes.

I also will say, if we did it the exact same way as Lazy Sunday, who could blame anyone for being like, sure, do another song the way you did Lazy Sunday that became a thing everyone liked and talked about.

I remember thinking, this is our next song.

And for the first time being like, oh shit, there's pressure.

That was the first time I really felt it.

Cause doing the tangent after felt like buying ourselves some time.

Not that we weren't excited about it.

It was super funny and we loved Fred.

But in terms of us doing something like Lazy Sunday, this was the next one.

But this was still super off the grid just because, in talking about the union thing, we were shooting at the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square because my uncle worked there and we talked our way into being able to shoot on the stage.

And he almost got fired and had a huge talking to from the lighting union that got very mad at him.

So we were like just stealing everything.

Oh, yeah, that's where we got that shot at Sudeikis on that stage.

Yeah.

I forgot that, that that's not even a 30-rock stage.

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This is a Chuck Norris story.

And again, I'm jumping ahead in time, but do you guys remember?

So it must have been season premiere 2008,

which is post-Summer Olympics.

Do you remember the host, Michael Phelps?

Oh, yeah.

So again, we'll get to the short from that era, but this is a Chuck Norris story, which is: Chuck Norris was written into the monologue, as was President Barack Obama.

And I want to say Tucker wrote the monologue.

It was very funny.

They had very funny lines.

And Lauren felt very confident we could get both of them.

Long story short, we got neither of them.

But we did get William Shatner to do the Chuck Norris part.

And obviously, you couldn't replace anybody with Barack Obama.

But do you remember the other cameo in the Michael Phelps monologue?

Oh, definitely not.

Guys, I'm going to tell you, it didn't age well as a cameo.

Donald Trump.

Jared from Subway.

Oh, yeah.

No fucking way.

Yeah, from before.

But it's crazy.

But the other thing, it never took off, but I really want to take off because I remember, by the way, William Shatner was great.

People are super excited to see him.

So it was Jared.

It was Jared.

Such a good improper.

Let's not talk about it.

Let's just move off of that.

Hey, you know how I just said I think Tucker wrote that monologue?

You wrote it.

I did.

No wonder you thought it was so good.

Kevin just texted it.

I had a feeling.

Yeah, man.

Oh, man.

So it's your fault.

I do think I was better when I wrote it for Chuck Norris and Obama.

I remember Obama didn't want to do it because I think there was some sort of national weather emergency in Texas.

And it should be noted that Barack Obama has excellent media savvy and was 100% right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The SARS Guard show.

There was a great live sketch you had.

Really?

Do you remember?

Oh, yeah.

It was the Tranquil Spaces, right?

Oh, that wasn't the one I was thinking.

Tranquil Spaces got cut.

Oh, it did?

Because there was too much rigging.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

More rigging?

Tranquil Spaces was a sketch I believe we all wrote together, right?

Where it's him, and he's basically like a meditation guy, and it's like against a white psych, and it's all super calm and peaceful, but then people keep getting like smashed in the head, and blood and barf and stuff start flying around.

It was like classic one of those.

I think it had white furniture, too, like a white couch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was a whole white set.

Yeah, everything got completely destroyed.

It'd be covered in blood.

Yeah, maybe it was like I was one of his disciples or something and I was doing his yoga poses and I'm like, I don't feel so good, man.

Kind of a thing.

I was like, oh no, I think I'm going to barf all over the all-white furniture.

Like calling out the barf and then hitting my head and the blood spraying out of my head and him being like, no, oh no, I aimed it over here.

Yeah, and like his game was that he was OCD about keeping everything pristine.

I think it was like almost working, but all of the tubing wasn't firing exactly right and on time.

And they were like, we can't be sure it's going to work by air.

So, what was the one we got on, Seth?

I'm guessing it was the pirate.

Is it a pirate one?

Yes, pirate convention.

Oh, that's a great one.

Settle down.

Settle down.

Settle down.

Ahoy, mateies.

I welcome ye to the fourth annual National Pirates Convention.

I be your moderator, Redbeard Pete.

We'd first like to thank the good people of the Milwaukee Holiday Inn for the accommodations.

Not our first choice, but there be no vacancy at our favorite hotel, the Ritz Carlton.

The one time I wrote a sketch with Will Forte.

How long did it take you?

How many hours?

Like 17 hours.

Yeah, there you go.

By the way, 17 hours, the entirety of the joke is how excited a pirate convention is to have.

We'll let you do it, Andy.

SARS Guard.

It's one of the few times I pitched something in pitch meeting on Monday and then we wrote it and then it got picked and aired.

It's good.

It just opens dissolve to hotel conference room.

A pirate-themed banner hangs that reads, Welcome Milwaukee Pirates.

So it's just all

just a pirate kind of pirate.

Oh, it's not at Harvard?

I thought of the Harvard yard, but that was just a joke in it, right?

That's just a line in it.

Here's a question.

Was this the episode where he had a sketch where he was talking to Dratch in a hotel room?

She was on the TV, like she was the hotel, like

digital concierge or something.

Here Here at the Fairmount Inn, we say, what are you looking for?

Shrimp, porn, and an elevator.

Go ahead, we've got that.

No, you don't, Barb.

Welcome to the Fairmount Sweet Inn, St.

Louis, Hazelwood.

Welcome to the Fairmont.

The TV turned off in the middle of the sketch because he banged it.

Yes.

And the whole thing went haywire.

Because in pitch meeting on Monday, he went, I just want to do something where because it's live TV, like something can go wrong.

Like he said out loud to everyone, I want to do like some high wire act stuff, basically.

It was a prophetic show all the way around.

Yeah.

Everyone was calling their shots.

And it went quite wrong.

And I remember that sketch.

You can like see people running across the frame and him like turning away from camera to try and create a new shot so that someone can fix the TV.

And you see someone with your cue cards.

And I remember being like, whoa, there's a lot of dead air happening on live television right now.

It was also the first time that I realized that the West Coast feed was different than the East Coast feed and that they fixed it and put the dress version in for the West Coast feed and didn't know that they did that.

They did?

Yeah.

Because we'd always be like interested of like who was watching on the West Coast and we're like, you got to check it out.

And they were like, it's not that.

I also want to note this because I think Don't take this the wrong way, dudes.

Well, especially Samberg.

There's no blood on your hand, Akiva or Yorma.

Yes.

I think Pirate Convention was the first time I thought, I'm not going to make it as a cast member because

here's who's in Pirate Convention.

Fred, Will, Daryl, Parnell, Horatio, Bill, Andy, Jason.

Eight deep.

Oh, it's like we hated you.

And I don't find my way.

We kept you out?

All you had to be able to do was go arr.

Yeah, yeah.

And I couldn't crack my way into Pirate Convention.

Maybe we thought you were too good for it, though.

Do you ever think of that?

I was too busy.

I kind of feel like that could have been part of it.

Am I going to judge?

Seems like a real cover in a way of like, I don't want to waste Seth's time.

Like, he's busy.

He's going to have to let him sit on the floor to say R like three times.

It should note also the conceit of this sketch was it was a QA with SARS Guard where you would just pimp him into questions where he would give a pirate.

He was slightly disappointed.

They were alley oops.

Yeah.

I hope to learn as much from you guys as you may learn from.

All right, time for QA.

Who be having a question for SARS GAR?

Yes, yes.

Do ye be knowing what the film Wedding Crashers was rated?

Not off the top of my head, but I think there was nudity, so maybe it was rated R.

It's maybe a good sketch now that you're new to the camera.

It is.

You know what?

I will also say, I think we were starting to enter this new era of the show, and one of the things that was really, I don't know, infectious about it was that was a sketch that was just super fun.

And I think the audience was watching it and they could tell everybody in it was having fun.

I could tell everybody in it was having fun because I could watch it from the outside.

Yeah.

Not being a participant.

That's why we didn't put you in.

Even through my deep resentment, I was like, look at those guys.

Man, I wish I knew them.

Was there another male cast member that wasn't invited?

Are you the only one?

I don't think so.

Back of the envelope, Mass.

I think I'm the only one not in it.

but look andy was super close with daryl

okay look i'm just gonna say this and i'm being teed up by our dear friend kevin you wrote half the show that week okay so you were busy i'm sure it was what i said where i was like i don't want to drag seth down to the floor okay to say r wait can i read the list cold open monologue commercial parody journalist phone tapping and sars guards sars guard is that not the commercial parody no i must have written a different commercial parody jesus So, Peter Sarisguard, Starsguard, hey, you know what?

Actually, since we're going to talk about Peter Sarsgard and Sarsguard, I think now is a really good time to queue up.

Seth's Corner.

Seth's Corner, it's happening right now.

Take it away with it.

So, guys, Peter Sarsguard and Sarsguard is another which way the wind are blowing kind of sketches.

Hi.

I'm critically acknowledged actor Peter Sarsgaard.

And today I'd like to talk to you about a very serious matter.

We live in a world where we're never sure where the next infectious disease will strike.

Today that disease is bird flu.

Three years ago, that disease was SARS.

Do you remember that?

I do.

Because three years ago, I developed these.

The Peter Sarsgaard SARS Guard.

The only commercially available SARS Guard with my picture on it.

You have to remember, 2005, people were worried about SARS.

Yeah.

and so peter sarsguard sars guard which i wrote with ken word was basically peter sarsgaard selling a sars guard that was the only sars guard with his face on it

he was great though he was a very good sort of creepy spokesman he did not mind leaning into that hey you know what else is pretty cool i don't think i did write the commercial parody maybe my name was on it but baby toupees was that murray matt murray Joast.

Joast wrote Baby Toupe's.

But here's a fun fact.

John Higgins, who is currently a writer on SNL, was one one of the babies in a toupee.

How about that?

Yeah, prophetic.

And his wig looked better than Sudeikas's and Young Chunky.

No doubt about it.

No doubt about it.

We'll put that in show notes.

Said's Corner.

Fuck you, Seth.

We have a theme song.

I don't know why he keeps saying it.

That was the outro.

Yeah, that was the end.

Oh, that's the outro.

Okay, guys.

So I'm going to tee up our next episode now.

Yeah.

The Steve Martin episode has double shorts

because the tangent airs and two inches also airs.

Yeah.

So we're going to put those in the same episode.

And we're also going to talk about one of my favorite sketches to talk about.

And this is just to whet everybody's appetite for our next episode.

Oh, I think I know what you're going to say.

We're going to talk about surf meeting.

Oh, my God.

Terrific.

We're just going to spend the whole show talking about that.

We're going to spend a lot of time talking about a sketch called Surf Meeting.

A sketch I am happy to say Steve Martin still talks about.

Does he, really?

Yes.

Oh, I can't wait to hear about that.

Okay, don't tell us what he says yet.

You know what?

Save it for next show.

Save it.

Oh, yeah.

But I am dying to know.

It's going to hurt.

It's going to hurt to hear what he has to say.

He talks about it in a way.

I will also just say this.

Every time I see him, I try to bring it up.

Okay.

I don't know if that counts as he never hesitates.

He never hesitates to share his opinion.

Yeah, fuck.

I love it.

Can you say he still talks about it if you're the one who brings it up every time?

Well, I, yeah.

So he doesn't give you the silent treatment.

No.

Imagine being as accomplished as Steve Martin and everything he's done in his life.

And you still bring up a sketch from 18 years ago or whatever it is.

And he's just ready to go.

Yeah, he's a comedian.

Barrels.

Blazing.

That's, yeah.

I mean, Noodles in the Pot, you know, Seth?

Noodles in the Pot.

Hey, guys, are we going to do a special episode where you guys listen to Noodles in the Pot?

I heard a snippet, and I got to tell you, we should.

Yeah, we should do an addendum episode.

I like that you did not tip your hand that much as to where you're going to land on.

If you think Andy hasn't warmed up yet, wait till we have him start recording commercials.

Just wait till next week.

All right, so this is the sign-off for episode four.

Again, we do not have a name yet, but I'm assuming it's going to be some version of.

Yeah, we'll just let you want to say that.