A Message From Seth: No Episode This Week

Hey, everybody, this is Seth.

We are not doing an episode of the Lonely Island and Seth Byers podcast this week due to the developing situations of the fires in Los Angeles.

A great many people who work on this podcast, including two of our co-hosts, are in Los Angeles.

And so we just didn't think it was the right time to figure out how to do a new episode.

I would like to send out all of our best wishes and hopes for safety to anyone who's going through this terrible time right now, and also send our gratitude to the Los Angeles Fire Department and the first responders and everyone who is making this difficult situation even a little bit better for the people who are affected.

This is a very short episode, and we did hear your feedback loud and clear last time, and there will not be ads.

And since there is no episode, I would like you to, if you care to, enjoy Andy the last time he was on late night with Seth Meyers, his performance as a French pole vaulter who made news at the Olympics.

Thanks again for your understanding.

We hope to be back together with you all soon.

I do want to talk about the fact that we do a podcast together.

Yeah.

The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast.

Seth,

I love the cast, but I'm going to hijack this real quick.

You're going to hijack what, the interview?

The whole show.

Look,

you remember when we were on SNL and I would sometimes come to your office because I saw a story that I thought would make a funny weekend update feature?

Yeah, of course.

Okay, did you see that story this summer during the Olympics about the French pole vaulter who knocked the bar down

with his giant dong?

Yeah, I saw that would have that would have been good.

Yeah, it would have been good.

Should we do it now though?

Great.

Wally, get the cards.

That happened this summer.

All right.

In that case,

please welcome the French pole vaulter

who knocked the bar down with his giant dong.

Oh, Beau Soison.

Well,

thanks.

Thanks for being here.

Ah, merci for having me.

So obviously a bittersweet ending to your Olympic dream.

It was sad to not win the gold.

But on the other hand,

the entire world now saw my gift.

Has this

been a problem before?

The size of my gift?

Yeah.

Ah, we.

And not just in Zipov vault.

I also tried hurdles, but I kept knocking them over.

You see, the sum of my junk is quite grand, Seth.

In French, grand means big.

They are also grand English usage.

Are you planning on competing in the next Olympics?

Oui, we.

Yeah, it is either that or go back to my old job.

I was, how you say, a windshield wiper for trucks?

Okay.

Is that how you say?

Is that how you say?

Yes.

Yes, we say windshield wiper for trucks.

And to the people of France who I let down, let me say, I am sorry.

Or as we say in France, pardon.

Or as I say in my home, pardon.

Or

as they say in the bullpen of the office where I work, holy crap, that guy just knocked everything off my desk with his giant wang.

Is that how you say, sir?

Yeah, I don't know.

Is that how you say it, bien, bien, bien?

And to everyone out there who say, I should have talked, I did.

Why?

Why, if I may ask, are you talking about this now?

It happened so long ago.

Do you know what else is so long?

I do.

I do.

My gear.

Yeah, yeah.

As for why now, I left for New York as soon as the Olympics ended, but I traveled very slowly on account of my, how you say, big old floppy wiener?

Stop saying how you say.

But is that how you say?

Big old floppy wiener?

Yes, that's how we say.

Ah, bien, bien, excuse him for a moment.

I am so hungry, Seth.

Oh.

Oh.

Seth.

Do you know what this reminds you of?

It doesn't remind me of anything.

I bet it does a little bit.

Andy, hey, this is, I'm just saying, this is a real dude, right?

I mean, are these jokes okay?

I mean, if anyone can make jokes about people with huge dongs, it's a guy with a tiny one.

Surprised you're willing to admit that.

Wait, I was talking about you!

Jesus Christ!

Hey, Seth!

Yeah?

Do you think this is going to win late night on vulture.com this week?

No, I do not.

Okay.

Oh, Seth, I saw your friend Colleen Jost was at the Olympics.

Is it true he lost a foot?

No.

No, he had an infection, but he didn't lose a foot.

Ah, I see.

Do you know how I could lose a foot?

How?

Cut off a third of my

words.

Andy Sandberg, everybody.

It was Andy this whole time.

Leah's in theaters trying to check out the lonely island in Sandmy's pocket.

You get your podcast.

That's where you're right.

I just can't leave Lindley.