Booty Call

Speaker 3 Are you guys recording? Because I want to say something.

Speaker 4 Oh, well, I'm recording. I'm recording.
Okay.

Speaker 5 We can hear you through the computer.

Speaker 5 You're still part of it.

Speaker 3 We had a really funny comedian, Caleb Heron, on our show. I don't know if you guys know Caleb Heron,

Speaker 3 but he has a podcast and he's also a consummate podcast guest. And then he was on my show and said, you know, but the thing is, I would never listen to a podcast.
And I was like, oh, I got somebody.

Speaker 8 That sounds like my kind of person.

Speaker 5 Yeah. But he's constantly on podcasts.

Speaker 3 I go, I do a podcast with Andy Sandberg. Every episode, he talks about how he hates podcasts.

Speaker 3 And he goes, oh, my God, I would love to hear him, but I can't because I'm not going to listen to your podcast.

Speaker 8 If he wants to hear about it, it can be either from you or firsthand for me.

Speaker 3 Yeah. He was very funny.
He said it's like, he goes, it's like when I go to a concert, I'm like, I should be up there.

Speaker 7 He's like, I don't hate the format.

Speaker 3 I just like, why do I want to listen to somebody else do it?

Speaker 8 Why am I watching them?

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Lauren was very funny this week. I don't know why he was talking to me about podcasts, but he did say, he goes, I don't listen to them because, you know, New York.

Speaker 7 And I was like, what? Huh?

Speaker 3 And then he was like, because, you know, you can't listen to anything in New York because, you know, they'll kill you.

Speaker 5 Is he thinking like if he puts in headphones on his walk to 30 Rock? Yeah. He'll lose, he won't be aware of his surroundings.

Speaker 12 He does walk.

Speaker 3 He does walk to 30 Rock every day.

Speaker 13 He does. You're kidding.

Speaker 14 Yeah. I had no idea that that was accurate.

Speaker 4 Lauren again, Lauren walked.

Speaker 5 We've all been on walks with him. You think when he gets to New York, he stops.

Speaker 8 He's not someone who is capable of going on walks.

Speaker 14 I've been on walks with him. I thought he only did that in LA or like Vancouver.

Speaker 16 No. Hot rod raff.

Speaker 3 Here's a Lauren story that is not for the pot, but hopefully we can come back to it right at the end just to hear your reaction.

Speaker 12 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 Podcast.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 18 Thanks for the call.

Speaker 2 It worked.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It was a real like, that's cool.
Thanks.

Speaker 17 This was, this was great to hear from you.

Speaker 14 How quickly after that did he hang out?

Speaker 3 Pretty soon. Pretty soon.

Speaker 9 All right. Bye.

Speaker 8 Man, if we do what you suggested, that's going to be a frustrating listen.

Speaker 4 Oh, man. I think it'll be fun.
People are going to be like, what was it?

Speaker 19 I want to know.

Speaker 17 Give me the dirt.

Speaker 5 Congrats on your big show, Seth. Thanks.
I know you were anticipating, you know, the way you were acting on it was like, hey, and to all the new viewers who are just here for this episode. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And did that, was that true in hindsight?

Speaker 3 We haven't seen the full numbers yet, but I will say the audience was the most

Speaker 3 there for a guest by design. Of course.
We tried to do vetting to make sure that it was only true Swifties who were there to.

Speaker 8 Oh, I thought you were talking about the introducing the interns bit.

Speaker 3 We do feel like there's a Swifty level fandom now for introducing the interns.

Speaker 12 People started chanting.

Speaker 23 That's my shit.

Speaker 24 Interns.

Speaker 5 The interns are playing four nights at the forum.

Speaker 25 It's crazy.

Speaker 3 I will say we don't do, she was a guest for three segments, which meant she was sitting for two commercial breaks.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Super rare.

Speaker 3 And during those commercial breaks, we were pumping in Taylor Swift songs and the entire audience was singing them.

Speaker 3 While she sat on the chair singing along with the audience.

Speaker 3 And it's weird to have Taylor Swift on your show and not have her do a song, but I actually thought if you were a Swift fan, that is is maybe cooler just to be doing a sing-along with Taylor Swift.

Speaker 26 Just with her, yeah.

Speaker 14 Oh man, Seth, I thought you were to say that, like, during the commercial break, she just powered down, head down, not looking at anyone, just stay singing while they sing her music.

Speaker 17 She just stared at her feet.

Speaker 8 Well, that's how I am when I'm on your show, Seth. We go to commercial, and I, it's like, I power down, I go on my phone, as they say, on I think you should leave.

Speaker 12 Yeah, basically, catatonic, yeah, like a robot shut down.

Speaker 3 We have to hold out a little uh little drool cup for you.

Speaker 12 And he's back.

Speaker 23 Sorry, I go so hard on the bits.

Speaker 20 I got to recuperate in between.

Speaker 18 Seth, I liked your outfit. Thank you.

Speaker 5 I just noticed it was similar

Speaker 5 to Doug or Steve Butabi. I'm not sure which guy was which one.

Speaker 3 Which was which guy. And the Roxbury guys,

Speaker 3 I wanted to dress up a little bit so I didn't look like a schlub next to Taylor.

Speaker 7 I didn't know what she was wearing.

Speaker 5 There was also a bunch of new people showing up watching.

Speaker 3 But I assumed she was going to dress to the nines, which, of course, she did.

Speaker 3 and at the same time i didn't want to go full suit and so i wore an outfit that i was really happy with and then afterwards a bunch of people were like you looked like one of the night of the roxbury guys and that is entirely true and i can see you just were missing the chain the chain they only have there's only three elements to their thing so you were two out of three so that's in some ways not even close yeah

Speaker 3 um it's hard that that tweener outfit between full schlub and full suit not a lot of options Every time I get invited to like a daytime wedding, I can't figure it out.

Speaker 5 It just has to be full suit or else I look like an agent.

Speaker 8 You need a summer suit or like a linen suit.

Speaker 26 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 14 This is, this is a forced tangent, but because we're talking about exactly this, I looked like a real schlub recently. I couldn't figure out, granted, I'm in a wheelchair.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 14 So that helps me in a way, because if I'm full schlub, it's like, if you judge me, it's your fucking fault. But went to my brother's record listening party that happened in New York.

Speaker 14 There was also one in LA. Maybe some of you guys went to that.
I'm not sure. But it just came out today.
Electric guests. This is my plug.
Start off the show with a plug.

Speaker 14 That's what they say in podcasting.

Speaker 5 You should.

Speaker 12 Yeah, let's promote the heck out of it.

Speaker 14 Electric Gast 10K. The album is fucking great.
So I just wanted to say that.

Speaker 28 Jump.

Speaker 5 Chester sent us some nice videos from it. We did not make it, but Chester was there with Asa.

Speaker 14 I do want to say one thing, though. Eric Andre was there.
And that guy is a fucking piece of shit. I don't want to just put him on blast here,

Speaker 14 but was really rude, was constantly saying that I was doing this whole thing for attention. Oh, that's and I'm not.
Okay. I was in a fucking wheelchair.

Speaker 14 And if Eric, you're listening, then fuck you, bro.

Speaker 3 I had a moment where, and I'm sorry, because I obviously you know the outcome, which is I didn't make it out to Brooklyn for the listening part of Jorm.

Speaker 3 But Jorm said, what are you doing on Tuesday night? And I actually got a little excited because I was like, oh, maybe Jorm wants to get dinner. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like maybe Jorm wants to get dinner at like six o'clock at night.

Speaker 7 Yes. And I'll get shoemaker.

Speaker 3 We'll sit with Yorm. I'll get to catch up with him.

Speaker 27 Me and Keith both just got a a little excited.

Speaker 14 I still would like to do that. And there's another guy.

Speaker 8 Hey, you make that 5 p.m.

Speaker 12 and I'm full boner over here.

Speaker 3 I just want it to be late enough that people see I hang out with my wheelchair friend. Like, I don't want to waste a bit of time when nobody's eating.

Speaker 14 Oh, so you're on the other end of the fucking

Speaker 4 opposite, Andre. But

Speaker 3 instead, I was like, oh, let me check. Why, what do you got to Yorm? Because again, I didn't want to say I'm fully open.
Yeah. Because with Yorm, there's always a chance he's going to be.

Speaker 14 Well, I go fishing. My fisherman.

Speaker 24 My brother's brother's doing a listening party for his new album in Brooklyn.

Speaker 3 And then Jorm goes, it starts at nine, but I'm going to get there late.

Speaker 29 First of all, it started at seven, but it started.

Speaker 24 And I'm like, Seth, I'm not going to see you, man.

Speaker 4 Yeah. You know what?

Speaker 30 In retrospect, that was a hard ask for Seth in particular.

Speaker 3 Also, Yorma is wearing a Yale sweatshirt.

Speaker 9 What, did you read it, though?

Speaker 3 No, what does it say?

Speaker 31 I got my pelvis fixed at.

Speaker 26 Oh, Yale.

Speaker 5 That was the name of the hospital. Because he was in New Haven at that point.

Speaker 14 It's Emily Heller. Shout out to Emily Heller, who sewed this on there.

Speaker 7 She added it on.

Speaker 14 I got my pelvis fixed.

Speaker 31 Yeah, that's pretty rad.

Speaker 3 That's awesome. I got my pelvis fixed.

Speaker 3 Quick cleanup from some comments that were left. And they were all comments about Yorm.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 3 I love it. You had to say in the ad reads, people feel as though the ad reads are a lot of triggering things to the experience you just went through.
One of the ads had the line, fall is a reset.

Speaker 3 And someone said, I can't believe they made him say that

Speaker 3 since a fall was a reset of his pelvis.

Speaker 3 Somebody else said, I felt bad for Jorm having to read that rag and bone ad since his bones were recently turned to rags.

Speaker 19 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3 The other one is that when someone's not on the podcast on the YouTube, it just puts a red X over the person who's not there.

Speaker 12 And like after Yorm's recent thing, maybe we don't put a red X over Yorm.

Speaker 4 Like, that's a wrap?

Speaker 23 I like that.

Speaker 12 Let's make a new graphic.

Speaker 14 I like that when you said clean up things. And you said it was about me.

Speaker 14 I thought there were going to be questions. I was so excited to answer it, but those were just great comments.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Also, looping back to the Nick Cage, during the Nick Cage, Andy, you screamed, press the shard into the engraving. Multiple people thought that was Optimus Prime coded.

Speaker 12 Oh,

Speaker 13 probably is. The timeline is.

Speaker 8 I mean, yes, but also very national treasure coded.

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 8 If we're using coded speak.

Speaker 14 Yeah. Oh, my God.
I love that one so much, by the way.

Speaker 3 We talked about a cube job job is when somebody draws a picture of you and you look like Mark Cuban.

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 3 But also people say a cube job is also when somebody pushes a cube into your chest.

Speaker 8 Oh my God. Of course.

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, often his prime is always asking for a cube job.

Speaker 14 He wants a cube job. He's always asking for a cube job.

Speaker 3 Drake Tapper. Hey, in the chat, I'll go ahead.

Speaker 26 Make me look like cube in my chest.

Speaker 26 That's a dud.

Speaker 15 Let's keep it in, though. No matter what, keep it in.

Speaker 17 Oh, yeah, I would leave it in there.

Speaker 3 All right, Tapper took another run at it. It's in the chat.
Oh, because he tried to do better. I still think he maybe fat-faced your arm a little.

Speaker 14 Oh, but it's so great, though. Oh, it's colored.

Speaker 3 I look, you got to be happier. Oh, I look a little bit like.

Speaker 12 Do I look like Higgins a little bit though?

Speaker 8 I want to speak on this.

Speaker 5 You look like John Higgins.

Speaker 31 Yeah, I look like John Higgins.

Speaker 15 You look like Higgins.

Speaker 8 Keeve looks like Kenward. Yeah.

Speaker 10 And I look more like me, but also still decidedly like Mark Cuban.

Speaker 10 Like, it's fucking, I think that maybe maybe Tapper just thinks I look like Mark Cuban.

Speaker 5 And then Seth, he made your hair your hair now.

Speaker 3 He took away that. But it's also my, it's like my bygone hair.
It's like my hair from like, I don't know, 80s.

Speaker 5 Yeah, his reference might be older.

Speaker 8 If I find out he's been doing this in like mid-journey or something, I'm going to be so ticked.

Speaker 14 I think he's a really good artist.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and he colored it in. It's really.

Speaker 3 He kind of looks like a thin comic book guy from The Simpsons.

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh, and one last thing, because Jorm, you said that the Nick Cage should have aired.

Speaker 3 I got a voice note, unsolicited. From Nick Cage.

Speaker 3 And this is not a person who loves the spotlight, but Alex Bays sent me a voice note and he said, feel free to play it on the podcast or not because he wanted to defend himself against the allegations that he was the person cutting stuff.

Speaker 7 So

Speaker 30 I thought it was going to be about him being a celebrity whore.

Speaker 5 I want to hear it more than anything to hear how his voice sounds based on both of your impressions last week.

Speaker 3 Oh, that's part of it, too. I mean, you know him.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but I can't remember now.

Speaker 6 Oh, okay.

Speaker 14 I hope he defends himself about loving celebrities so much.

Speaker 8 By the way, I think we're all about to be so molded because I looked at the rundown from the Barclay episode and I think it aired.

Speaker 7 Oh, the cage?

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 8 I think you guys did it the week after.

Speaker 2 Oh, man. Oh, my God.
Wait.

Speaker 12 Is that right?

Speaker 8 That's what it sure looks like.

Speaker 5 Yeah, let's pull up the episode.

Speaker 14 That kind of makes sense because I thought it did, but maybe I was just thinking of different weeks.

Speaker 27 Hey, Quaids. This is Baze.
Woo!

Speaker 33 Longtime Quaid Army, first time Smint or what the fuck ever.

Speaker 16 I just wanted to drop a voice note so that Seth and Andy can work on their fucking impressions.

Speaker 34 This is what I sound like.

Speaker 26 Mine was good.

Speaker 13 Yeah, it's pretty good.

Speaker 33 And also to disabuse Andy of the notion that somehow I cut his Nick Cage feature.

Speaker 16 I don't know if he quite believes that, but for clarity's sake, what we always did was update was super long at dress.

Speaker 33 And then I would have a meeting with Lauren afterwards where he would say, how long was update?

Speaker 34 I'd say, oh, it ran like 19 minutes.

Speaker 33 And then he would say, well, I need it to be 1120.

Speaker 16 And I go, okay.

Speaker 33 And then I'd go to Seth and Shoemaker and say, you know, Lauren wants update to be 1120.

Speaker 27 What should we cut?

Speaker 15 And then they would tell me.

Speaker 33 There's no world in which the two of them looked at me and said, I don't know, base.

Speaker 36 What should we do?

Speaker 27 I knew it.

Speaker 36 So also, Andy,

Speaker 33 if somehow I was responsible for cutting your feature,

Speaker 13 let's look at the world since then.

Speaker 34 You know,

Speaker 16 you've gone on to have an illustrious career in television and movies and music, and I'm here in a little freezing cold office still writing jokes for Seth.

Speaker 36 So, who won, bud?

Speaker 14 God damn. That's a bunch of fair points.

Speaker 18 Super fair.

Speaker 8 Sorry, Baze. I love you.

Speaker 3 Especially now that it's dawning on us that it may be aired a week later.

Speaker 31 It actually did air.

Speaker 10 Also, Seth, you piece of shit.

Speaker 24 You cut my watcher, man.

Speaker 3 I did. You can put it on me now.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Bayez a delight. God damn.

Speaker 3 That was funny. It was a great.
I mean, it's great, Bayes.

Speaker 14 I thought he was going to say that Lauren made all the decisions and throw Lauren on the bus.

Speaker 4 No, Lauren doesn't want that weight on him.

Speaker 26 He's just like, hey, hey, cut it down X amount.

Speaker 3 Lauren decides to go from like 19 to 1120.

Speaker 31 That's his decision. Yeah.

Speaker 19 And I think that's fair.

Speaker 3 I think so too. He's like, yeah, no, ultimately, like, I appreciate that Lauren gave us the choice.

Speaker 3 This is apropos of nothing.

Speaker 2 Oh, man. Oh,

Speaker 12 yes.

Speaker 28 I'm gate crashing.

Speaker 31 You thought I wanted to do gate crash feature.

Speaker 31 Sub JD.

Speaker 4 What are you wearing?

Speaker 37 Not only gate crash, I'm in the middle of a bike ride.

Speaker 2 Oh my gosh, my gate crash.

Speaker 14 This guy is a multitasker.

Speaker 5 Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Black has entered into the Zoom and he's on a bike.

Speaker 37 I fucking zip. I gate crashed right through the streets of Los Feliz.

Speaker 31 Which one are you fucking?

Speaker 37 I just wanted to crash into your shit and tell you I miss you and I love you. And I hope you're having a tremendous Zoom and that you promote the shit out of your genius movie.

Speaker 38 Love you guys.

Speaker 2 Love you, buddy. Love you, Jack.
Love you.

Speaker 2 Do it. Wow.
Fuck. How do I hang up? No, just don't.

Speaker 17 No, no, no. I'm just going to hang out.

Speaker 37 If I hang up right now, I'll crash and go. I'll fucking actually crash.

Speaker 17 That would be horrible.

Speaker 14 We've already had enough accidents on this.

Speaker 5 We're going to see that sky behind him flipping in three seconds.

Speaker 2 Yeah, seriously. No more accidents.

Speaker 37 Talk amongst yourselves. I'm going to hang up.

Speaker 4 In due course.

Speaker 5 This is a podcast. That's all we do.

Speaker 37 This is a disaster.

Speaker 4 What streets are you on?

Speaker 37 It's not safe to bike ride in L.A. L.A.
is like the least... bike-friendly town.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 14 I'm in Brooklyn.

Speaker 15 No, he's doing a tight five.

Speaker 37 I go on the sidewalks.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 5 because no one's walking on the sidewalk anyways. Oh, he pulled over.
He stopped.

Speaker 37 Love you guys.

Speaker 12 All right. Love you, buddy.
There he went. Wait,

Speaker 39 who threw him the fucking link?

Speaker 36 I did. I did.

Speaker 9 I'm going to tell you

Speaker 3 what's so surreal about that is I was just on a train with my boys, and they were watching the second Jumanji movie and laughing harder than I've ever heard them laugh before.

Speaker 4 Those are both very good.

Speaker 3 They're great.

Speaker 8 I have a bone to pick, though. Okay, what's he? Didn't want to call it Tumanji?

Speaker 8 yeah that's fair just like yeah just left that there every time i see the poster i'm like that how often is that move that too in front of him you

Speaker 26 spilled gold told jack that like at this point i don't even care what the movie's about oh my god do you want the third one to be juman tre

Speaker 8 i do not okay

Speaker 14 but it would be super funny if they skipped the second one and then went straight to that

Speaker 5 Support for the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast comes from Airbnb. I wish I'd roped Liz into this because it's her parents.

Speaker 5 When her parents come to town, you know, we have a guest room, but it's quite small for two people to stay in. And then they're in your kitchen and stuff like that.

Speaker 18 And they're lovely.

Speaker 5 But, you know, it's nice to have a little extra space. So she has taken it upon herself to find them their own space on Airbnb nearby.

Speaker 5 And they love it because they borrow one of our cars or rent a car and they live over there and they can watch their TV as loud as they want and they can do what they want.

Speaker 5 But then when they come over to us, they're cheery-eyed and bright because they aren't invading our space and feeling bad about it they

Speaker 14 refreshed from parents uh to be able to

Speaker 40 hear you scared the

Speaker 5 yeah no sorry i was here the whole time uh that's what you want from parents or parents-in-law for them to be bright-eyed bushytailed so you can just hand them your kids and be like there you go get gone well i love staying in welcoming homes that i book on airbnb but it's got me thinking my home could do the same for someone else you've been to my house yorm what would you pay for my house a thousand dollars i'm not good with pricing sold Sold!

Speaker 40 Come over here and give me $1,000 and I'll go somewhere else.

Speaker 5 I already put love into all the details of my home. Why not help someone feel comfortable and taken care of while they're traveling when I'm away from home? Think about it, Jorm.

Speaker 5 If you host your home on Airbnb while you're traveling, it's a great way to offset some of the costs of your own trip. The extra income you make could be put towards an upcoming trip of your own.

Speaker 5 Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/slash host.

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Speaker 3 Fred left me a voice note that was complimentary about some, a closer look I did, but I just want to play it for you because it's when you see you've got a 30-second voice note from Fred, it was like beyond my wildest dreams of how much I enjoyed listening to it.

Speaker 44 This is Homer Simpson.

Speaker 44 I want doughnuts. Oh, Mars.

Speaker 44 Um,

Speaker 44 Seth, that um,

Speaker 44 a closer look about Portland was great.

Speaker 44 Uh, I miss you, buddy.

Speaker 14 I really do.

Speaker 44 Um, hopefully, I'll get to see you soon. Oh, wait, here's Homer again.
Seth, I wanted to say hi too.

Speaker 44 no there's donuts

Speaker 12 wow

Speaker 3 what a great human being not a bad homer at all not a bad homer great homer either though i gotta say oh that's my fred used to do that bit where he'd come to the read-through table and say he had just been cast as all the voices on the simpsons

Speaker 3 and he would be like in shock because he was so happy and hit but then he would do the simpson voices and they were all a little off like he would go oh no yeah he wouldn't say duh oh no yeah fred also after table reads would go, you guys, what are you worried about?

Speaker 15 Nothing gets cut. Everything gets picked.

Speaker 18 Everything always works out.

Speaker 12 Everything always airs.

Speaker 14 That's my favorite phrase of his. Everything always works out.

Speaker 45 I say it a lot to myself.

Speaker 3 It's also like a fundamental principle of Fred's comedy.

Speaker 12 True.

Speaker 3 The complete absence of conflict. Did it air?

Speaker 5 While you were talking. Yeah, I just, sorry, I can't quite get my thing around.

Speaker 5 I went on Peacock, found the Charles Barkley episode.

Speaker 8 So here's mud in my eye. Yeah.

Speaker 8 The Nick Cage that I was so bent out of shape about and frankly disparaged my dear friend Seth and also Bays.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Unjustly, we now know, did in fact air the following week.

Speaker 5 However, check the tapes. Seth set us up for this.
I believe last week Seth did the whole preamble being like, look at what was here.

Speaker 4 It didn't air.

Speaker 5 And then we were like, whoa, really? Yeah. Man, that should have aired.
I think we were misled.

Speaker 3 So I maybe fucked you twice, like once from cutting it and then again from making a bitch about it.

Speaker 5 Like, like a mean girl in high school, like, hey, you know what you said about you?

Speaker 13 Aren't you fucking pissed about that?

Speaker 4 Wait, we should go punch it.

Speaker 3 Do that.

Speaker 16 This is good.

Speaker 13 Yeah, stirring the thoughts.

Speaker 12 Don't even do that.

Speaker 13 Just pure stirring the thought.

Speaker 20 Well, then I don't apologize.

Speaker 17 You guys, I'm confused and scared.

Speaker 17 No, yeah, it's that's the problem.

Speaker 3 There's a massive amount of great things in this Charles Barkley show.

Speaker 8 I was looking at that rundown thinking the same, that it was a really fun show.

Speaker 3 It's my all-time favorite Magruber.

Speaker 4 Oh, I agree.

Speaker 14 Which one was it? I like this one in Financial Ruin.

Speaker 3 Racial Sensitivity, Magruber.

Speaker 7 Oh, the one with Barkley.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Yeah, he's so good in it. So good.

Speaker 3 It's perfect. It's a perfect Magruber.

Speaker 14 Thank you.

Speaker 3 Each beat is better than the rest, and it's completely self-contained and wonderful. Yeah.
Barkley is so fucking funny.

Speaker 14 He's amazing.

Speaker 4 And Will is so perfectly horrible.

Speaker 8 I mean, Charles Barkley, no one would be surprised to hear, but is in fact so fucking funny. I mean, just in general.
An An absolute anomalous person.

Speaker 14 The more I look at this Tapper drawing and the chat guys, the more I'm impressed with his skills.

Speaker 17 I mean, I know we don't.

Speaker 2 I don't want to poop on it.

Speaker 9 It's very good.

Speaker 31 It's still a cube job.

Speaker 5 And some people really want it.

Speaker 8 I never thought I was going to get cubed again.

Speaker 3 I feel like we should just watch.

Speaker 3 I watched it with Shoemaker. No memory of Booty Call from my end.

Speaker 4 Really?

Speaker 5 Well, this is a unique one because I'm gone for the first time, really.

Speaker 5 The very brief version of it is I got offered a movie and I thought it was exciting and I thought I could maybe kind of do both a little bit, but I had to bail early and I went and got permission from Lauren and I said any shows I miss, I'll tag on the end of my contract.

Speaker 5 And he was really gracious about it and was like, all right. And it was in LA.
And in short, it had Jason Siegel and Jonah Hill and Jason Schwartzmann and would have had somebody else as well.

Speaker 5 And it was, it could have been cool. And I came out to LA for two months and rewrote with them.

Speaker 5 and then it ended up not happening and so i only missed four shorts did we decide andy four i can't remember but i basically missed this and then the next four shows and part of the deal with lauren was he was like you gotta because jorn was so busy with magruber too he's like you have to find somebody else to replace you while you're gone and uh the three of us had met a fellow named jonathan chreisel multiple times who was doing tim and eric awesome show yeah and he was also doing

Speaker 5 i mean that's how we met him right yeah and then but i don't think we poached him necessarily i think think they were on hiatus. I don't think we took him from a job.
Yes.

Speaker 5 And we always liked him and he was cool. And, like, for instance, that thing we talked about where they had come to our house and played tennis with the Flight of the Concords.

Speaker 5 Like, he was the one directing that and stuff. So we had hung out with him and we thought he was up to it.
And so we called him. And

Speaker 26 he was down. Yeah.
So he came.

Speaker 5 And so we had, we actually had a bunch of overlap episodes after because when I came back early, it's not we were like, Ba, you're fired now, even though we told you you'd be here for a while.

Speaker 5 So we even co-did some later. And he shadowed on some of the previous ones.
He was there a week before this for a few weeks as I like showed him the ropes.

Speaker 18 I forgot that.

Speaker 5 And I think he actually did one one of those weeks that we haven't talked about, some side thing. I can't remember what it was.
But, anyways, he was so well liked.

Speaker 5 That's why he ended up making Portlandia.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 5 He is the third person of Portlandia with Carrie and Fred, obviously.

Speaker 8 I mean, we love Chrysler. He's the best.

Speaker 14 Yeah. The part of the story that I did not know, Keeve, is that you offered to tack episodes on to the end of your contract.
That's very savvy.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I think that might have been a Lauren thing.

Speaker 5 If you're missing these, then do them later.

Speaker 5 I don't think I came up with that.

Speaker 17 Who came up with the punitive part of the deal?

Speaker 5 And then just to sing Chrysal's praises a little bit more, he went on to create baskets with Galfanakis.

Speaker 14 He's a very prolific dude.

Speaker 5 He's always doing stuff. If we went to his IMDb, there'd be a ton of more stuff.
He's always working on something.

Speaker 3 And he has

Speaker 3 one of the best and most unique vibes. Yes.
In a, in a place full of people with great unique vibes, like Chrysal kind of stood up.

Speaker 14 Very true. Yes.

Speaker 5 It is his own, but it is like the way that when you see like a Tim Burton, you're like, whoa, that's a unique person. It's a, there's a little Tim Burton-y wild hair, but it's his own.

Speaker 3 Yeah, very like grounded and easy to talk to and sweet. Like, I think when you first, if you saw a headshot only, you'd be like, I feel like this guy's going to be inscrutable.

Speaker 7 Yes.

Speaker 3 And then he was just a dude who loved it.

Speaker 5 He was a wild artist.

Speaker 12 Yeah, he's great.

Speaker 14 Yeah. He kind of goes against your hair theory.
Wasn't it it your hair theory

Speaker 14 that you like that your hair shows what's inside your brain?

Speaker 5 Yeah, it only really works for people in their 20s who have control of what their hair looks like.

Speaker 5 But like Andy's hair was big and frazzed, and he was like a big Muppet, and then other people's were like thin and then.

Speaker 14 Well, Kreisel, no exception to the rule.

Speaker 5 Okay, so then Andy, so me and so I wasn't even there this week. Yorm, you were, but you were clearly doing the gruber.

Speaker 31 Yeah, distracted.

Speaker 5 So this is an Andy Chrysal joint through and through.

Speaker 8 And the musical guest was Alicia Keys, which we were clearly gassed about because we were big fans.

Speaker 8 But we didn't have the infrastructure or pre-written thing to do a song, which I still wish we had, but sometimes it just doesn't pan out. And so

Speaker 26 I came up with this.

Speaker 14 Yeah, when your other partner fucks you on the music front, because this is what happens.

Speaker 3 She's as good in this non-singing role as she would have been in a singing role. She's fantastic.
She gets the assignment a 100%.

Speaker 8 I do recall being like, whoa, she's really good, and it's making it way funnier.

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 8 I don't know where it came from. I know it was my idea and I was just thinking about it.

Speaker 3 It's the most handy thing. I was shocked that Klein didn't write it with you, but I have a question as well.

Speaker 8 He pitched in a few jokes, but according to him, me and Chrysler wrote it.

Speaker 3 Did she know what your lines were, or did you just have her record?

Speaker 27 She knew.

Speaker 8 We had showed her and her team the script, but then also I was on set reading off camera.

Speaker 3 Oh, that's even better because she plays it like she has no idea what the other person's saying.

Speaker 8 Correct, but she was hearing me do it in the voice really stupid, and to her credit, was just locked in. And then, when we would yell cut, she would laugh.

Speaker 8 So, she was definitely just 100% in control on it all.

Speaker 3 Uh, she should be in four movies a year based on this performance.

Speaker 31 All right, I'm hitting it.

Speaker 9 Music already great.

Speaker 9 Whew,

Speaker 46 that was a crazy night.

Speaker 46 Man, I'm a little tipsy. Should I call him?

Speaker 46 No, I gotta stay strong.

Speaker 46 Well, maybe just this once.

Speaker 46 Oh, God.

Speaker 36 Yellow!

Speaker 31 It's me.

Speaker 25 Oh, crap. Hey, girl, what is up?

Speaker 47 Just got in.

Speaker 48 What you doing? Nothing much. Just backing on this cookie dough and watching Boston Legal.

Speaker 17 That's cool. i was thinking maybe if you wanted to you could come over hold up is this a friggin booty call yeah i guess it is that is so scandocious but it fully works out because i'm super horny oh

Speaker 48 heck yeah it's like i'm ovulating but the dude version

Speaker 13 what are you wearing you tell me first oh you mean over the diaper well i've really got this sweet ruffly shirt

Speaker 48 pretty loose fit because my nipples are just shredded for running that's flat.

Speaker 46 So I know it's a little crazy, but um, you want to go to the bottom?

Speaker 31 Throw a pause at it?

Speaker 17 Yeah, girl.

Speaker 12 Oh, yeah, please.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 14 this is my favorite shit ever.

Speaker 27 Holy fuck.

Speaker 14 This is my favorite version of Andy.

Speaker 3 Really enjoy how you eat the cookie dough off the spoon. Again, no male comic or female comic has done more jokes about the current state of your nipples.

Speaker 14 Macking on cookie dough.

Speaker 15 A lot of that didn't air, though, Seth.

Speaker 8 You got to keep that in mind.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 47 I'm just saying, like,

Speaker 39 it was a constant font of

Speaker 12 inspiration for you.

Speaker 8 I was just so happy I got the word scandocious on national television.

Speaker 2 Oh, I know.

Speaker 14 Yeah, that's a real accomplishment.

Speaker 3 Every backstory of your character is like,

Speaker 3 where's the nipples?

Speaker 17 What are his nipples?

Speaker 14 Okay, so he's a bummer, right?

Speaker 17 But in what way?

Speaker 19 Did it affect his nipples?

Speaker 5 He's aware of them in his shirt. I know this character is

Speaker 20 are they soft and wet or are they dry and scratchy?

Speaker 4 I gotta know how to play it.

Speaker 14 From running, too.

Speaker 29 He exercises.

Speaker 23 This guy exercises.

Speaker 18 He's got a body, but he also wears a diaper.

Speaker 12 Over the diaper.

Speaker 5 There's a lot of information. And a bright yellow, like blouse, three musketeer shirt.

Speaker 18 You say

Speaker 3 over the diaper like people have asked you in the past and you've started with diaper and they've been like, no, no.

Speaker 17 No, no, no. We're asking over the diaper.
Yes, right.

Speaker 14 Also, also, in that same way of things being just like swept past you, like way quicker than you can laugh at them, her saying, that's fly.

Speaker 47 Yeah, that's fly is my favorite part.

Speaker 17 Yeah, that's fly.

Speaker 26 Like, it is not, Alicia Geese.

Speaker 8 It is not fly.

Speaker 17 Not fly at all.

Speaker 8 Also, the old ass cell phone for some reason, just dumb.

Speaker 3 Boston legal.

Speaker 7 Yeah, that was a Klein.

Speaker 17 That's Klein, yeah.

Speaker 5 Because you guys wrote this as a phone call fully and you have such different lighting, it really also feels like the best mtv movie awards thing like as if you yes like yes and because it's got the you don't know my name music it sounds like like it feels like she had a really long like a 10-minute music video with a lot of her being sexy on the phone and you went what if it was me she was talking to yes it's when they repeat dialogue or things that you're like oh i guess they were really talking to me yes like gives you this surprise it feels like maybe you stole the footage of her i was gonna say it's an achievement unto itself to make it seem like we're just cutting cutting me into something that was already said she had to listen to this in real life.

Speaker 5 God, I honestly am a little, I mean, it's not too late. We need to get Alicia Keys in something to Seth's point of how good she is.

Speaker 12 Oh my gosh, murdering her.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 1 Here we go.

Speaker 25 Heck yeah, girl.

Speaker 48 Hey, you want to do a three-way?

Speaker 46 I guess I'll try anything once.

Speaker 31 Okay, sounds good.

Speaker 36 Okay, Dana, we're on three-way. What? It's me, your grandson, Lyle.

Speaker 48 Is that also Alicia Keys?

Speaker 41 Cheryl Tees?

Speaker 48 Alicia Keys.

Speaker 50 It's your grandson. Got a booty call from Gary Sinise.

Speaker 36 Goodbye, honey.

Speaker 47 Lionel.

Speaker 17 I know.

Speaker 48 Also, I drew you a maze on graph paper.

Speaker 12 I'll show it to you when I come over.

Speaker 25 It's got heck of booby traps.

Speaker 1 That's sexy.

Speaker 31 Uh, no dirt.

Speaker 48 Side note, my penis is super dinky.

Speaker 36 You'll see.

Speaker 46 I admire your honesty. Ooh.

Speaker 48 You know what?

Speaker 49 I actually don't think I'm gonna come over, actually. Why?

Speaker 28 Well, I'm kind of at this intervention for my friend.

Speaker 48 yeah we're trying to get him to stop doing smack

Speaker 1 i'll be off in a second

Speaker 47 but do me a favor save yourself for me okay bye

Speaker 32 god oh wow that has so many wonderful andy just you got dinky in there so the boston legal the boss don't bring up Boston legal logic problems the Boston legal the main problem I have is that no man that that can't be the takeaway.

Speaker 12 You could have been doing both.

Speaker 14 Andy, I feel like that guy.

Speaker 3 Of all your characters that you ever played,

Speaker 3 who has the least Dinky Wang?

Speaker 32 You know what I'll say, Seth?

Speaker 8 Of all the jokes, all these years later, that's the one I would have lost.

Speaker 18 Didn't need the Dinky Weeder.

Speaker 3 Well, that, because

Speaker 3 you said, like, you know, the nipple stuff didn't make it into a bunch of them. I think Dinky Wang at that point did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 26 That's been in stuff.

Speaker 8 Save yourself for me is funny to me.

Speaker 12 save yourself for me

Speaker 3 well yeah i also like just that it's like a frequency shift in the performance which is very nice thanks keep also you brought we find out retroactively that you brought cookie dough to uh intervention yeah that's right and answered a phone call loudly and also i'm watching boston legal at the intervention in your face keef makes perfect sense

Speaker 5 there's a couple nice moments when it's in the split screen with the grandma where it like goes into a close-up of your mouth saying one of the lines and i wonder it's a very nice chrysal touch.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's a nice chrysal touch. I wonder if there was any music video-y thing we were, that you guys were referencing at all that did those sorts of things.
It could be, but it's nice, regardless.

Speaker 14 It's just a nice little build.

Speaker 8 I didn't love seeing my teeth that close, but that's

Speaker 5 a good thing. It fits with what you're saying in the moment and stuff.

Speaker 23 You're right. You're right.
You're saying I have big teeth, right?

Speaker 17 That's what I heard.

Speaker 8 I don't mean big necessarily so much as like, you know,

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Speaker 3 Support comes from Viore. I wish I could be telling you about all the new gear that Akiva's wife Liz is wearing on the tennis court, but I can't get through to them because she's on the tennis court.

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Speaker 38 This Friday, I'm an angel.

Speaker 15 See the wings?

Speaker 38 Don't miss the new comedy, Good Fortune, starring Seth Rogan, Aziz Ansari, and Kiana Reeves. Critics Rave.
He's haven't sent.

Speaker 40 Kinda. You were very unhelpful.

Speaker 38 Good Fortune, directed by Aziz Ansari.

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Speaker 8 Wait, is that Glow in the Dark underwear?

Speaker 36 Boo yeah.

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Speaker 8 Actually, guys, I got a voice note from Jonathan Kreisel, director and co-writer of The Short. Let's listen to that.

Speaker 35 Okay, so the story of the Booty Call Digital Short with Alicia Keys for me starts like on the Tuesday of that week. I'm in Los Angeles.
I get a call.

Speaker 35 Hi, this is Steve Higgins from Saturday Night Live.

Speaker 35 We would like you to come work on the show. I'm like, wow, this is amazing.
I'm very excited. I'm like, yeah,

Speaker 35 maybe like I could start in like two weeks or like a month. And he goes, no, no, you have to get on a plane tonight.
I'm like, oh, okay.

Speaker 35 And he's saying, did you ever think that there would be a moment in your life when your life actually begins? And I'm like, what? He goes, this is that moment. I'm like, oh, okay.

Speaker 35 So fine, that's happening. I get on the plane.
I come out.

Speaker 35 So Andy's showing me around the 17th floor. Like, it's just a whirlwind for me.
I'm just like half lost, like so many people, so many places.

Speaker 35 And I remember he showed me, like, oh, you can cut through the 17th floor if you just swipe into this hallway. And I'm like, oh, this is cool.
And then later I was kind of wandering by myself.

Speaker 35 I'm like, oh, let me cut through this hallway. Of course, you need a key card, which I didn't have yet.
So I got trapped in this very strange pass-through hallway, sort of like emergency exit place.

Speaker 35 And I had to text him or Rachel, who are the producers of Visual Shorts, and say, Hi, I'm trapped in like a hallway and I can't get out.

Speaker 35 Cause if you don't have a key card, you can get in, but you can't get out. So I had to be rescued.
So then we're sitting around.

Speaker 35 Charles Barkley, I'm pretty sure was the host, but Alicia Keys was the singer. And for some reason, we just kept talking about Alicia Keys.

Speaker 35 And she had a song, You Don't Know My Name, that I think, you know, maybe was out in the few months before. And there was this part in the middle.
It's a kind of breakdown where she talks.

Speaker 35 And so her character in the song is a waitress. She works works at this diner and this guy comes in every day and she notices him, but he doesn't notice her.
You don't know my name.

Speaker 35 And then in the music video, it's most deaf plays the guy and like you get to see this awesome part where she does this call. She calls him somehow.

Speaker 35 She's like, you don't know who I am, but I work at the diner. But she does it in the coolest way possible.
But because it's only her side of the conversation, it's just a little bit funny.

Speaker 35 So then we were talking about that and just going, like, well, that seems like a good start of something funny.

Speaker 35 And then I think it was, well, what if Andy would be on the other side of that call being the antithesis of the sultry smooth Alicia Keys would be just a good conceit.

Speaker 35 So script kind of came together and then, you know, it kind of got into the production pipeline.

Speaker 35 And they're like, Alicia is available Friday night at midnight, which to me, coming from a completely other world of production of like, we'll plan this for a couple of weeks, you know, whatever.

Speaker 35 And so, this is like shooting something at midnight on a Friday, and you've got to air it the next day. Her boyfriend, some new boyfriend, is going to be there.

Speaker 35 And that was Swiss Beats, which I don't even know if it was like public knowledge at the time or whatever, but it was kind of making it all more exciting.

Speaker 35 And so then immediately it's like start editing. And I'm just like, oh my God, just being shot out of a can and start editing.

Speaker 35 Like, you want to take your time and like organize your bins and all this stuff when you start to edit. But I was so scrambled.
I'm like, okay, where do I start? Should I just start in the middle?

Speaker 35 I don't, I couldn't figure it out. So it was just my heart was pumping.
And this is actually the point in my life where I was 30 years old or something.

Speaker 35 Like, I had not drank, I was not a coffee drinker. This, you just have to start drinking coffee.
And now I'm a coffee drinker for life. But anyway, this is the moment when it started.

Speaker 35 Okay, so then edit was happening. It was kind of chaotic.

Speaker 35 Andy is just the best, just a true visionary filmmaker partner to have. So it was just really fun.

Speaker 35 And I remember that week there was an NFL game on a Saturday because this is January. So I think like college is over.
So they have games on Saturday. It was on NBC and it was running late.

Speaker 35 And they're like, the show is going to start not at 11.30, but 12. Well, that was like.

Speaker 35 God coming down and going like, I'm stopping time to give you an extra 30 minutes to finish this video, which was like amazing. And that made all the difference.

Speaker 35 Because, of course, I learned like you're editing the piece throughout the show while the show is airing. That's just common.
You know, a lot of moving parts.

Speaker 35 Got it done for dress, obviously. I remember definitely making cutting it down, cutting it down, cutting it down, which was Andy's mantra.
It's got to be shorter.

Speaker 35 It's got to be shorter, which is so smart. Anyway, so

Speaker 35 got it in the show. And I just remember for me, like being sort of like, where the hell am I? What is this place?

Speaker 35 It's so chaotic that in the writer's room where you kind of, once you're like, okay, I'm done. I can just watch the show.
And Yorma's wife, Mari, was there.

Speaker 35 I didn't know her, but she really like looked out for me.

Speaker 35 I'm like, hey, you know, and so it was this really family environment that everything's made in, especially the lonely island little corner of the world.

Speaker 35 So that made it a lot less like corporate giant thing.

Speaker 35 One million people you can't remember. And like, oh, there's like nice people around every corner who are just like, have been there and like take care of you.
So it's a great place.

Speaker 35 So it's great memories. And

Speaker 1 that's it.

Speaker 3 Thanks, Chrysal.

Speaker 40 Thank you, buddy. Love you.
Love that guy.

Speaker 31 Bless you, Chrysal.

Speaker 8 More to come from him.

Speaker 3 Can we go into Seth's Corner for a second?

Speaker 4 Has it been

Speaker 2 a while?

Speaker 21 This is Seth's Corner. It's been a minute.

Speaker 14 I hope you remember what he's talking about himself.

Speaker 2 Take it away, Seth.

Speaker 3 real quotes game shows my favorite game show sketch i ever wrote i don't know if you guys remember real quotes tell me the premise um it was you had to complete famous lines from movies oh and it was barkley and wig were the contestants and barkley started by saying he worked at a blockbuster

Speaker 3 and i will say it has the rhythm of booty call because it's it is like the clippiest thing i think i ever wrote live because everybody's really bad at obviously guessing the quotes and

Speaker 3 there's a part, Bill is like, it's a famous line from Joe.

Speaker 28 Jaws, upon seeing the shark for the first time, Roy Scheider utters the unforgettable line, we're going to need a bigger shark.

Speaker 12 No.

Speaker 28 See, they saw this shark. He was so big, they thought they were going to need a bigger

Speaker 53 shark bag.

Speaker 28 Think water.

Speaker 12 Ocean!

Speaker 28 We're going to need a bigger ocean?

Speaker 53 Yeah, if you get a bigger ocean, it's gonna make the shark seem smaller. Then the joke would be on the shark.

Speaker 3 And then he's like, I've never seen it. He's like, you work at Blockbuster, you've never seen it.

Speaker 3 It turns out he works at a place called Blockbusters that is a demolition thing that brings down city blocks.

Speaker 3 And then the next line is from Field of Dreams, and it's if you build it. And he goes, we will knock it down.

Speaker 3 And it turns out that's actually the slogan for Blockbuster.

Speaker 3 I white knuckle watch this one live because it played so hot at dress, yeah, and it was so cutty and so timing-based, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that I was just like, please, because it sort of had uh, it's so hard to do that thing live, and uh, looking back, I'm really happy with how it went.

Speaker 30 Nice, yeah, it's also just such a pleasure with a guy like Charles because he's like a real Christopher Walk and he like has a way of talking that is immediately perfect.

Speaker 3 Uh, his line for uh Fugan Men was, You can't handle

Speaker 25 handle my private.

Speaker 12 Incorrect.

Speaker 53 Be that as it may. You cannot handle them.
So keep your hand to yourself.

Speaker 45 No one was asking.

Speaker 53 You can never be too safe, Reg.

Speaker 12 Yeah, it's good.

Speaker 3 So that was Seth's corner. Then, like I said, Killer Magruber.
And then this was the famous, I mean, I think we talked about it when we talked about the first one.

Speaker 3 This was the second that'll move the chains. that's right yeah the second of two yes which was i believe from downtown i think it was nothing but the bottom of the net that's what it was yeah

Speaker 53 just keep it simple stuff like great defensive play and nice pass got it okay great and we're back

Speaker 54 lakers with the ball great defensive play and nice pass not yet there not yet sorry nothing but the bottom of the net

Speaker 3 and i again probably told this story you came in to my office and I said, what are you working on this week? And you said, I think we're going to do another that'll move the chains.

Speaker 3 And I said, another?

Speaker 20 And you said, not everybody has update.

Speaker 19 That was the week.

Speaker 8 And you know what?

Speaker 32 I'm glad we did because it worked and it aired.

Speaker 26 It did.

Speaker 14 Wait, when Andy said that to you, Seth, did he mean it?

Speaker 3 Like, was he a little bit more? Yeah, he was really, it was a real like reminder that like when you know you have 10 minutes of update every week, it's not cool to be like, wait, what are you doing?

Speaker 8 What are you floundering at?

Speaker 5 What are you trying to get on? This was the three of you I liked.

Speaker 39 Oh, the chair.

Speaker 39 I didn't realize you were so small.

Speaker 8 The making me lower works decently.

Speaker 9 Oh, it's really funny.

Speaker 3 I mean, it helps to have a couple of big, big dudes. I mean, you could always kid down pretty good.

Speaker 8 Thank you so much for saying that.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And you could old up pretty good, as Mort Feingold taught us. Oh, man.

Speaker 26 Yeah. We'll get to it.

Speaker 5 It's called range.

Speaker 3 I will say that the funniest sketch a very funny man Hannibal Burris wrote when he was at the show was called Barkley Golf about Barkley's terrible golf swing. That was in this show.

Speaker 26 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 And there was a great David Patterson. This is a real and golden era update where you've got Andy is Nicholas Cage, Fred is David Patterson, and Bill is James Carville.

Speaker 17 Fuck.

Speaker 8 Bill closing it out, I'm assuming.

Speaker 14 I bet it was Patterson. Oh, Patterson.

Speaker 26 Yeah, Patterson and Carville. Those were both crush.

Speaker 8 Also, a scared straight.

Speaker 3 It's a nuts show.

Speaker 32 Now, what are are they in here for?

Speaker 48 You know what? Let me guess.

Speaker 53 Cannibalism.

Speaker 8 Good guess, son.

Speaker 45 What are you kidding? That's a horrible guess. No, we caught these kids hanging around the abandoned rail yard.

Speaker 40 Trespassing, huh?

Speaker 40 That's where it starts. Next thing you know is rabies.

Speaker 54 Show is, pops.

Speaker 45 Rabies.

Speaker 51 What? How is that related?

Speaker 47 Hey, boy.

Speaker 47 Blow your door in.

Speaker 3 And then Grief Counselors is one of my favorite is my grief counselors is my dream second chance theater sketch.

Speaker 32 That we've talked about, right?

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's kind of fun. I almost feel like we should.
Yeah, come on.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Also, the short had that Alicia Keys song all over it, and it's on YouTube, which means they cleared it for all uses.
So, hey, that's nice.

Speaker 8 I don't think that's. I think there's a chance that

Speaker 5 it sounds alike?

Speaker 8 Yeah, it might have been Catrice.

Speaker 5 It sounded like Catrice to me, but it would still be, it would still have to pay the publishing because that's definitely the song.

Speaker 3 Can we grief counselors real quick?

Speaker 51 All right, everyone. I know this has been a rough couple of days.
We did not bring in the new year well.

Speaker 51 As you know, over the weekend we lost 10 colleagues due to salmonella poisoning from the company holiday party.

Speaker 51 You guys were right. I should not have had our party catered by a place called Discount Meats.

Speaker 40 Trying to save a buck, I admit it.

Speaker 51 As per company policy, I hired a couple of professional grief counselors to come in and help us deal with our loss. God damn.

Speaker 51 I know this is a difficult time for all of us, and I thought we could use a little something to make us smile again. Everybody, welcome, Janica and Pistachio.

Speaker 45 Keyboard sleeves.

Speaker 47 Oh, my God, Charles, looks great.

Speaker 41 Oh, wow.

Speaker 14 Backpack is a nice touch, too.

Speaker 41 No clapping from anyone.

Speaker 41 Great. Come on.

Speaker 47 Come on.

Speaker 47 Come on.

Speaker 47 Woo! All right.

Speaker 50 Well, if you haven't guessed already, we are here to lift your spirits.

Speaker 53 And speaking of lifted spirits, I heard a lot of y'all friends went to heaven over the weekend, and they're not coming back.

Speaker 45 They're dead, people.

Speaker 45 So many people died here, you guys.

Speaker 50 Do you like my piano jacket?

Speaker 50 Because Pistachio and I would like to show you something that we think is pretty

Speaker 1 strong.

Speaker 3 For anybody listening who thought our laughs were drowning out the audience's laughs, that was not the case.

Speaker 12 I think it played okay.

Speaker 3 It played fine.

Speaker 3 You guys, you and Fred breaking made me really happy, just like softly.

Speaker 8 I mean, we were in heaven. Not breakers.

Speaker 3 Not classic breakers, to either of you.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 6 All right.

Speaker 3 That was booty call.

Speaker 14 We did it, guys. Booty call.

Speaker 26 Is there anything else?

Speaker 17 I'm making.

Speaker 23 Oh, my God.

Speaker 12 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 47 Seth.

Speaker 7 Oh, all right.

Speaker 14 What was the fucking thing, Seth?

Speaker 32 I got Quibi.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 32 And not just that, I've gotten it the last four days.

Speaker 17 Yeah, you've been hot. That's not what I thought.

Speaker 5 Clean for four days straight.

Speaker 32 Clean for four.

Speaker 13 Wow. A sober Quibi.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Four days.
You get your four-day chip. Four days clean.

Speaker 3 You get your four-day chip.

Speaker 19 That's what that means.

Speaker 8 And it just feels so good every single time I text you and let you know because I know you didn't.

Speaker 3 Yep. I got it today with a lot of help, and I feel real nice when I send it off.

Speaker 8 Ask me what my last word was.

Speaker 7 What was your last word?

Speaker 2 Ukulele.

Speaker 17 Well, that's a toughie.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I got ukulele early.

Speaker 16 The fuck?

Speaker 3 But the reason is because my mother-in-law is in a band called the Ukuleadis, and that's not a bad.

Speaker 4 Oh, gotcha.

Speaker 2 Gotcha.

Speaker 9 Yeah, that's great.

Speaker 8 I I tried spelling it with a Y first a few times.

Speaker 5 One, two, three, say your favorite ukulele song.

Speaker 3 One, two, three.

Speaker 3 I would say one of their only songs is You Are My Sunshine. I would say if you're going to ukuleadies concert, just know you're going to be in and out in like 15 minutes.

Speaker 8 Sorry, Keeve, do you want to do the exercise again? Because I know we're going to say the same thing.

Speaker 13 All right, ready? Yeah.

Speaker 18 Favorite ukulele song?

Speaker 5 One, two, three.

Speaker 12 Somewhere over the rainbow cover.

Speaker 19 Yes.

Speaker 4 Hawaiian version.

Speaker 12 Yeah. quote-unquote, Hawaiian version.

Speaker 26 Summer of the rainbow. Yeah.

Speaker 8 We were seeing eye to eye, my dude.

Speaker 14 You guys are his fans, huh?

Speaker 3 I apologize, Keith. I thought you said favorite yucca lady song.

Speaker 2 This is the problem with the name of their band.

Speaker 17 I just mentioned that.

Speaker 14 That is what I thought, too.

Speaker 19 That was clear to us, Seth.

Speaker 5 And on planet Earth, what's the best one? Yeah. There's one smash hit, one platinum hit.

Speaker 14 I thought you guys were going to say, Tonight You Belong to Me by Steve Martin.

Speaker 17 It's not really.

Speaker 12 No, because I do love that.

Speaker 20 From the jerk.

Speaker 14 Guys, speaking of,

Speaker 2 I got

Speaker 27 a second present of a solid t-shirt.

Speaker 12 Yeah, that's good. Great gift.

Speaker 14 Thank you so much.

Speaker 5 Got the little honeycomb. Yeah.

Speaker 3 What are you at? I mean, are you at 20 gifts, 25 gifts?

Speaker 14 People gave a lot of really nice gifts and people have written a lot of really nice cards. And thank you so much to everyone.

Speaker 12 Any cash?

Speaker 26 No, no fucking cash.

Speaker 23 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Thank you, Keith. So if you guys could

Speaker 14 step it up a little bit.

Speaker 10 Any gift cards?

Speaker 21 But being in a wheelchair costs money, guys.

Speaker 8 Give them like a bedmat and beyond gift card.

Speaker 8 Before we go, I just want to say, Seth, I think it's so fucked up that we never hooked up.

Speaker 17 Jesus.

Speaker 26 I just wanted to say that before we go.

Speaker 17 Before the end of the day. I feel like,

Speaker 3 Be honest, Andy. I feel like you started that sentence without knowing where you were going.

Speaker 24 I will never admit to that.

Speaker 3 It was a nice landing for a guy who had no idea where

Speaker 5 sometimes you just got to take the leap and hope you land on.

Speaker 12 You saw it happen. Unless you're Yorb.

Speaker 24 Unless you're Yorb.

Speaker 5 The reason why Jack Black joined and I was holding my tongue in case the other half joined, but if we're about to bail, he didn't make it is because I randomly did an interview earlier today on Zoom.

Speaker 5 And when we got to the end, he's like, oh, man, I got to get off. And I was like, oh, you got another one coming? He's like, yeah, I got to jump right on.

Speaker 5 I'm going to get on with Jack Black and Paul Rudd for Anaconda.

Speaker 12 And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, give me the link.

Speaker 5 And the guy was like, all right, I don't know if Sony will let you on or not, but here you go. And gave me the link to their separate press junket.

Speaker 20 And did you crash it?

Speaker 25 And I crashed their

Speaker 12 interview.

Speaker 5 And it was delightful for like five minutes. I wasted this poor journalist's time.
And then

Speaker 5 was like, oh, wait, you guys could, because they were excited about the just Jack kept saying, gig crashing people's zooms. This is the best.

Speaker 20 I was like, oh, well, you can get me back later today.

Speaker 26 I'll text you guys right before we get on.

Speaker 5 And then I, so I texted both of them and Jack delivered.

Speaker 2 Nope, no Paul right now.

Speaker 8 Well, I'm sure he's got stuff to do.

Speaker 14 You know what? You know what he's probably doing? He's probably hanging up that picture from Everyone's a Credit. Oh, yeah.
In his home. So let's just assume that that's what he's doing.

Speaker 5 Did you guys get that picture of that Lynn? Lynn went to his house to to see it in person and sent a picture of Paul like proudly holding up the real one.

Speaker 5 Oh, we have like proof of life that he has it.

Speaker 3 From the digital short.

Speaker 5 Yeah, from the short. That Rudd does have it.
I mean, I know he said it on the voice note, but he's got it at his house.

Speaker 3 Did you see this idea that Kevin Miller just had, Andy?

Speaker 8 It's a really good idea.

Speaker 3 It's a really good idea. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Do we not? We're just going to do it. We're not going to tell the audience what it is.

Speaker 3 I feel like maybe we should explain what it is. So next week, before Andy gives his B results, we'll just play a clip of Jack Black singing Spelling B from the

Speaker 49 all-time sketch.

Speaker 26 I love it.

Speaker 3 All right. I love you guys.

Speaker 14 Love you. Nice to see you guys again.

Speaker 5 Love you guys. Love you.
Later. Later, Arnold.

Speaker 32 Later, Quaits.