‘Crash’ With Bill Simmons, Van Lathan, and Joanna Robinson

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You can see our beautiful, our beautiful hosts, Joanna Robinson, Van Lathan, myself.

We don't normally do this.

We usually do movies we love when we can't stop re-watching, but it's the Oscars.

And we're going to do Crash, which won the 2006 Best Picture Award.

And it's unbelievable.

And it's next.

Get out.

I just had a gun pointed in my face.

I experienced the most provocative and powerful movie of the year.

We leave this man here.

He dies.

I promise.

I'm going to find out who did this.

He put in Rubbergip Crash two thumbs way up.

You had a conversation with God, huh?

What did God say?

One of the best films of 2005.

What did you do?

Crash.

Rated R.

In theaters everywhere Friday.

All right, Joanna Robinson is here.

Van Lathan is here.

You guys have sorted out all your Marvel stuff.

Yeah.

Captain America, Brave New World.

Just a text exchange.

Yeah.

So it's just a spicy text exchange.

Yeah.

You don't care.

Why?

I don't care at all.

I do care about the biggest Oscars travesty of the 21st century, crash winning over Brokeback Mountain.

This is a weirdly watchable movie.

And yeah, I would even say a re-watchable movie that is also now kind of a comedy.

That's what you said.

I want to know what mood you're in when you sit down to re-watch Crash.

There's good scenes in this movie, but the totality of it leaves me going, I can't believe this happened.

What's happening on a day where Bill's like, I'm going to fire up Crash?

I gotta get my Crash.

Flipping channels.

Yeah.

It's like, oh, Matt Dylan's running up the hill.

Okay.

He's gonna try to save her in the car.

It's like, all right, I'll watch this scene.

Yeah, so

I hadn't seen the movie in a while.

I've seen it a bunch of times.

I hadn't seen the movie in a while.

It's not very re-watchable.

I have not seen it since I saw it in theaters.

Maybe we call it the hate, the hate-watchable.

Now, we're celebrating.

I thought it was the 20th anniversary of when it won, but it's actually the 19th anniversary.

Now, 20 years ago,

when you

get into the movie, there's just like a wave of nostalgia that hits you because of the cast, yeah, and because of what place we must have been in society for this movie to have been made and been taken so seriously.

It because, because, like,

everybody in the movie is at a weird type of position in their career, like, yeah,

Terrence Howard's as hot as he ever was in this movie, but we don't know that in 2005 when he's making it because he is this and hustle and slow the same year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sandra Bullock is in a a sort of

and brendan frasier as well like brendan frasier more than her brendan frasier's in a weird

it's almost over for him as a star right sandra bullock is like i'm being typecast in rom-coms i gotta break out of this i'm gonna play the biggest bitch who's ever been in a movie meanwhile michael pina is on the right on the rise never this is his first big job like Cheadle is taking control of his Hollywood A-list status in this one because he's also a producer.

And then you look throughout the cast, and there's just other people who this is their either their first big serious thing, they're making a turn, or Matt, Matt Dillon near the end of being a major star.

Right.

But this was supposed to be sort of his revival.

Yeah.

And it didn't quite work out that way.

Although he did get nominated, he did, which I was shocked.

He was the only actor nominated out of this movie.

And that's just one of the many delightful things about Crash.

What did you think on your rewatch?

I agree with Van Night.

I don't think I've seen it.

I saw it since I saw it in the theaters, but I remember it so well.

So, re-watching it, I was like,

these are sort of iconic, comical, but iconic film scenes, you know, the Matt Dylan Tandyway Newton car crash scene, Michael Pania with his daughter.

Like there's just a bunch of moments, Sander Bullock falling down the stairs, whatever it is, you know, there's something for everyone.

But

I just remember this movie so well.

Why did she fall down the stairs?

You know what I'm saying?

It's karma, man.

I know, but like.

And she had a lesson to learn.

Why did she fall down the stairs?

So we can find out that Carol's a bitch.

It just, you know, that's the kind of thing.

She needed the scene with the maid.

Yes.

You're the only friend I have.

There are a couple of scenes in the movie that get it devastatingly right.

And I'll talk about, but like, I'll talk about like.

Did you get emotional during this movie at any point?

A little bit.

There are times just because the

sheer human agony that's happening on the screen, sometimes you relate to it, but

it's so ham-fisted, overwrought,

and heavy-handed that you, in its totality, you just cannot take it seriously.

In its totality, it becomes funny because you start to think, what race thing can happen next?

Like, if all the characters at the end of this movie would have joined hands and started singing We Shall Overcome, it would have made sense in context of the movie.

Yeah.

Except instead, you have Loretta Devine like coming in and saying, like, speak american to me and the car crashed scene at the end race i like the nostalgia angle i'm just

just saying every single i i look

in a lot of ways i could make an argument that this movie brought me to la

we okay you saw this movie you're like that's where i want to be yeah yeah because he's like i like i want to be in a place where people have to crash into each other to feel something feel something

yeah i'm in louisiana this whole time and louisiana has grown tired of my shtick.

You know, they know it.

I've been doing this since the sixth grade.

I'm in the all-white classes.

I'm injecting race into everything.

They're immune to it, right?

It's not working on them anymore.

Yeah.

And crash comes out.

I'm 25.

Yeah.

I'm 24.

I'm looking around.

I'm like, where could I go to where I can revitalize the thing that I do?

Yeah.

Boom.

That's the place.

L.A.

2005.

Right as Matt Dylan's running up that hill, Van's like, I'm running to L.A.

So, okay.

So when do you think LA is going

grow tired of your shtick what do you think never probably not yeah it's just too many people it's too much shtick he keeps adding so like he added the hat last year he keeps adding

yeah you got to come up with new gimmicks also is it's now the point that i've actually grown tired of the shtick like i came to the ringer and now i just want to talk about star wars and basketball all day long but every time i walk down the street nfl draft somebody grabs me they go you see what happened to south carolina they outlawed negro and i'm like gotta spring to action right you're just on call at all times so that's the thing so we we ride to the wheels fall off the nostalgia thing one of you mentioned which i thought is an interesting point because this did make me nostalgic for this pre-social media era of movies like this where people kind of didn't know any better and they just went for it

and there wasn't like a fear of a backlash because it was much harder to have backlash back then.

Back then, we had newspapers, we had early internet websites, we had like

deep message boards.

No, I'm just saying like there was less of a mechanism to kind of respond in anger to a movie like this.

So this was a slow build.

And I don't think it really,

I don't think people really got pissed off about this movie until the Oscars.

When it won Best Picture, and you can go back and watch it on YouTube, Nicholson's the, he's the presenter and he does it and he reads it and he's like.

The winner's crashed.

And he goes, whoa.

And you hear the crowd, the crowd, which I don't know if I've ever heard this at the Oscars.

They make like a what the fuck noise.

They're like, oh, it was like one of those noises.

And that was when this movie, it turned.

I think especially because at that Oscars,

Angley had one director.

And once he won director, people thought, oh, surely Brokeback's going to win best picture.

Well, there was a thing,

Brokeback was the only movie to win PGA, DGA, and WGA and not win best picture Oscar.

Yeah.

Which, by the way, Anora is, we're taping this before the Oscars, but Anora is the next one that that could.

The conversation became

really divisive after a while because what started to happen was

it almost was like the Hollywood liberal elites wanted to award one type of film and they chose race over a movie with gay themes because we still weren't there yet.

We weren't.

We actually weren't.

Yeah.

But now it's Brokeback is such a great movie and it's kind of

insane that it didn't win there's some back there was some backlash before the oscar win and i only know this because i read a really embarrassing roger ebert column where he was defending

yeah yeah where he's defending the movie against its its well he critics he loved it and then he had a second he went back he went had another bite of the apple when people are like actually it's not very good and he's like how dare you um a a uh here's what you're missing yeah here's what here's what you don't understand about crash let me roger ebert explain it to you um so that was all before i think the oscar win.

And, but yeah, then it really cemented itself as I think if it hadn't won the Oscar, we, I mean, we definitely wouldn't still be talking about crash.

We would be talking about a little bit, but not the way we talk about it, where it became sort of the most famously egregious Oscar best picture win.

The first like hit piece I remember heading into an Oscars, remember reading, was my favorite writer, William Goldman.

He wrote a Saving Private Ryan review before that Oscars, and he just fucking torpedoed it.

And it was was great.

And it was like, oh my God, I can't.

And, and it was kind of like, uh, it was, it was a glimpse of where the internet was probably going with some of this stuff.

But by 05,

this crap, the, some of the crash pieces, they're really funny to reread.

People were on it pretty early.

Like, yeah, this movie made people mad.

I also like that movies like this exist where people either get super mad or super defensive about it.

Cause now, where do we have this in movies in the same way anymore?

Um, we don't because everybody kind of runs and huddles to their corner.

Everyone's in

their little spheres.

Yeah.

A movie over here is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

And everyone, like right now, everyone is in unison about Amelia Perez.

Right.

They're not very many Amelia Perez defenders.

That wasn't the case two months ago.

I think we do still get those

debates.

I don't think it was the case too much.

By the way, when I say everyone, I mean the people.

Like

the industry seems to love the movie right right you've seen like the fantasy people yeah

like on letterbox logging right they saw amelia peres the the people everyone that saw it was just like immensely offended by the movie however

the critical uh acclaim for the movie is perplexing them it's actually driving them people those people to hate the movie even more oh yeah um but you have two very distinct

different factions crash was a a movie that people were told that they should love, and they were told that, like, this movie is an incredibly biting

and important criticism on race.

The conversation that we all need to have.

And then, when you watched it, it was so

comical.

It from the very first scene, it was so comical.

I was like, what, for real?

This is, we're supposed to take this like seriously?

Every single stereotype is approached and then

like

sort of validated

in the movie to a point to where it kind of doesn't mean anything in the end.

It's just funny.

I think the other difference, like there's the, if you want to talk about like online outrage culture, that's one thing.

But there's also like we aren't all collectively watching movies like this anymore.

This is a $7 million movie.

It's a small movie.

I don't think you get the people, as you're saying, don't go in droves to see this in the theater.

If they're watching it at all, they're maybe watching it on home at home in the background.

You know, so you won't get an opportunity for people to have that kind of debate about a movie like this because they're streaming, I don't know, White Lotus instead or whatever else they're watching.

Cheeto gave it real credibility for me when it came out.

The fact that he was a producer.

It doesn't get made without him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And just at the point of the career he was at, I just really liked him.

He'd been in stuff I liked.

And the fact that he was in it was like, oh, maybe.

But it was even in 05, pretty notable that it was a white director.

And that's something in 2025, there's no way a white director makes this movie.

I think it's, it's zero chance.

No, it's interesting.

I don't know.

I don't, I think not.

Zero chance?

I don't know.

We're just not that far away from Green Book.

Like, you know, there's just like, it, I, every time I think we're done with something like this,

every, every time I think we're done, we come back to it.

So they'll never stop making Green Book.

I have a list of movies like this.

They'll never stop making Green Book.

They'll never stop making the movie where white people solve

That's going to exist so you guys can feel good about yourselves in perpetuity.

Thanks.

Um, but I'm so happy, yeah.

You'll, you guys always will have one of those.

Thanks.

Um, this movie, though, I feel like can only be made by a white director.

Okay, well,

well, yeah, crash.

You can't, a black man cannot have directed this movie.

It's why, because the movie, it's a movie about race that's obviously made by somebody white.

Yeah.

It ignores, in my opinion, so much historical and contemporary context to put everyone in these

trite,

stupid,

like racial stereotypes.

It's working so hard to make you believe that we're all a little good and we're all a little bad.

The movie actually has one of the most grotesque scenes of police misconduct that I've seen seen in a movie, you know what I mean?

Beyond like a cop just shooting somebody, literally a sexual assault, then has that exact same police officer saved a black woman's life?

You cannot justify that scene.

And I think you were like,

and be a black director.

You cannot justify that scene.

And be the hero.

And be the hero in that moment.

Matt Dylan running up that hill to be the hero.

The hero shot.

Like

hero music, too.

There's like no possible way you could justify that scene if you are Steve McQueen, Barry Jenkins, Ryan Koogler.

Like, you can't, it's impossible.

Also, to your point, I think all the racism is so obvious and broad that it just ignores the subtler, like, microaggression factuality of how we navigate our lives.

And so, everyone is such like a caricature of a racist that it can make you feel good.

Watch you, a white person, watching it, are just like, well, I'm, I'm no Sandra Bullock, so I'm fine.

I'm not racist, you know?

Right.

The movie starts off with these, obviously, this is the thing before that, but two guys who we don't know are carjackers, right?

One dude is Ludacris' character, is

ridiculously hyper-aware of every racial microaggression that exists.

He's also hyper-aware of this entire construct.

of American racism.

And he's even talking about how big the windows on the bus are.

On the bus, are you?

All of that stuff, right?

he's what you would consider to be woke however he is chosen to be a criminal a criminal with a code that he doesn't rob black people he's got this entire worldview this entire politic that he's chosen to go out there and be a criminal the moment they got because we got guns i'm like yeah

let's get into it this guy he's talking to me or he's telling me about yeah let's let's let's let's go we're gonna have a wild ride with with this one.

First

best picture film since Rocky in 1976 to only win three Oscars

to show like what a shocker this was.

By about the 10-year anniversary,

the first thing, the end of the decade, that was when the first backlash really happened.

By 2015, they were writing about it.

And Paul Haggis, the director, he said, was Crash the best film of the year?

I don't think so.

Crash, for some reason, affected people, it touched people.

People still come up to me more than any of my films and say that film just changed my life.

I've heard that dozens and dozens and dozens of times.

So did its job there.

I mean, I knew it was the social experiment that I wanted.

So I think it's a really good social experiment.

Is it a great film?

I don't know.

That's also Paul Haggis on his, like, I'm no longer a Scientologist tour.

Yeah.

That's a whole part of this narrative.

Like, why did this win best picture?

Part of it is Scientology.

Explain.

paul haggis massive scientologist and a lot of this is like scientology at the height of its secretive power in hollywood before it starts like in 2007 is when you start getting bigger exposés on scientology and people start saying like oh hey where is shelly miscovich like what has happened in scientology before that they're operating in the shadows and this is like one of their biggest you know haggis wins for Million Dollar Baby.

He wins the screenwriting.

Yeah, wins for Crash, does like three films the the following year.

Like he's on a heater, and then he leaves the Church of Scientology.

And the minute he does, he's gone.

Yeah.

And that's just like,

I'm sorry.

I don't, I'm meaning to sound like conspiracy Joanna, but that is kind of like I'll give you the background on him.

Longtime TV writer in the 80s, 90s, early 2000s.

Won the back-to-back screenwriter Oscars.

Walker, Texas Ranger.

Won best film for this movie.

Yeah, did Family Law.

Was that with the bald guy?

I don't know.

I don't remember Family Law.

35-year Scientologist left in 2009, three years after he wrote Casino Royale, which is like his last big Hollywood thing.

And then

he's one of the ugliest Me Too stories.

Had like a civil suit for rape and got bankrupted by it two years ago, claimed that the church framed him.

And

he had another

meeting.

And he had another name.

He got like arrested abroad.

So yeah, that's part of the history of this movie.

Yeah, I don't talk about them people.

So the cast includes two future Oscar winners.

Yeah.

Brennan Fraser and Sandra Bullock.

Terrence Howard.

Matt Dillon nominated.

Cheadle nominated.

Michael Pena.

Ryan Philippe.

Kind of tail end of the Ryan Philippe era.

Philippe.

You mentioned Newton.

How do you say her first name?

Philippe.

Is it Philippe?

Tandoue.

Oh, Tandoue Newton.

Tandoue Newton.

Yeah.

I call him Ryan Philippe.

Oh, it's Tandy.

It's Tandy.

No, she goes by Tendouwe Newton.

Yeah, she changed it.

She added a W.

Yeah, that's very important.

She did.

Ryan Philippe, you call him?

Ryan Philippe.

Ryan Philippe.

I call him Ryan Philippe.

Ryan Philippe.

You call call him Ryan Philippe?

Well, I'll call him what I want.

I mean, you can.

Like, I'm just saying, I've never heard.

I've literally never heard Ryan Philippe.

You heard it now.

There you go.

Jennifer Esposito.

Ludacris.

Lorenz Tate.

Yeah.

Interesting Lorenz Tate role.

Why so?

I was going to do this later, but

I genuinely like him and I like him in every movie.

And I don't know why he wasn't a slightly bigger star.

He was in a lot of movies that I liked playing guys that I liked in the movie.

He had a really nice 10-year run, and then he just kind of went to TV, and that was it.

It's an interesting role for him because

he spent the entire 90s building an undeniable momentum to become a Hollywood star.

Yeah, he kind of was Cheeto five years before Cheeto.

I mean, he literally went from critically acclaimed performance, New Jack City, right?

Um,

he did Dead Presidents, another incredibly

important cultural movie, The Postman, like that's your big, huge Hollywood joint, right?

Then he has his starring role.

A couple rom-coms?

A couple of rom-coms.

He has Love Jones, beloved film.

Then he has Why Do Fools Fall in Love, which he's Frankie Lyman.

That's your big biopic.

He normally, he spends all of that time building up.

And then when Crash comes out, he plays, number one, he plays a lot younger.

He plays like a...

21-year-old, 22-year-old kid, which in and of itself is interesting.

Yeah.

And then two, he plays

second fiddle to a lot of people that he, it felt like he should have been on their level.

Yeah.

It felt like he should have been maybe almost, it felt like he made more sense in actually Don's role.

Oh, really?

At that point, like to at that point in his career.

But Don was the producer.

I know that Don was the producer, and Don was further along in his career than what LeBron was.

He's the same age, yeah.

But, but when you, when you looked at it, I was, even when it was on back then, I was like, oh, it seemed like a role where he was trying to re-enter the conversation after having a couple of cool years or something.

He's second fiddles of Ludacris in this movie.

He is, for sure.

Yeah.

But Ludacris is a hell of an actor, man.

Ludacris is

IMDB.

I was looking at it.

I was like, man, I like a lot of these movies.

Ludacris is genuinely great in this movie.

I was surprised.

When I first watched it, Ludacris is a good actor

at how good he was in the movie.

I was surprised.

He's good in every fast movie, too.

I mean, he's good in the fast movies, but he's not like trying to do anything in the fast movies.

I just like him.

I think he's good.

So, this was inspired by a real-life incident where Haggis's Porsche was carjacked in 91 outside a video store in Wilson Boulevard.

The movie completely, by the way, just real quick, I didn't know that until I started doing my research on the movie.

The movie totally makes sense now.

Yeah.

Totally makes sense.

And he kind of had this idea, filed it away, wrote an outline for it, didn't do anything with it for 10 years.

He wants to make a movie about all the microaggressions and the societal reasons that he was carjacked.

He wants to make a movie about that, but he can't quite do it without bringing everybody else into it.

And he feels the need to tell everybody's story to where really the story that he wants to tell is about being him, a white guy being carjacked.

He wants to know why that happened to him.

Yeah.

And that, and then that ends up becoming this entire movie where he has to kind of litigate why that happens to anyone, why everything happens to everybody.

But really, that's what he wants to talk about.

It's obvious to me.

Well, he said he road crashed to criticize racists and bust liberals for the idea that the U.S.

had become a post-racial society.

Yeah, he got us.

Got us good.

He showed us.

They had a $7.5 million budget.

He took out three mortgages on his house.

They reused locations to try to save money.

The cash took way less.

And

they sold it in Toronto for $3.5 million.

He released it in the spring of 05, built it wide, put out the DVDs in the fall, and then

Oprah.

That was the big stamp of approval.

The whole cast comes on the show in October.

Oprah stamps the show, the movie.

Then they decide to put DVDs to the different guilds.

They were the first movie to send the DVDs to all the guild members.

And all of a sudden, you win a best picture of Oscar.

Screenergate.

Love it.

They created it.

Oprah and screeners.

Oprah and screeners.

So I remember two things about the Oprah thing.

Number one, I remember the big deal that it was that Ludacris was on Oprah's show.

He was on Oprah's show as Chris Bridges.

Oprah didn't really have rappers on her show.

Yeah.

And Ludacris went on the show and he kind of called her out on it.

And

they kind of went back and forth.

And I think part of it was taken out of the show.

And it was a big deal during the Oprah hates hip-hop era.

What an era that was.

It was a huge era.

It was a big era.

And then also,

we should do a retrospective on Oprah's decision-making.

We really should.

Want to do that now or after the break?

Let's do it after the break.

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All right, Van, retrospective on Oprah's decision making.

Wasn't expecting this in the outline.

Here we go.

We're coming for Scientology and Oprah.

Nothing else.

Van's not going near Scientology.

No, I'm not saying that.

Like I one time saw them people on Hollywood Boulevard, like recording people's faces.

Y'all got it, whatever y'all need.

But you're not scared of Oprah,

not as much, okay, not as much because this because I love Oprah, but this was with love.

Sure, yeah, we got to look, we have to look back at some of the decisions.

Number one, Oz, Dr.

Phil, obviously, we took two huge L's there, correct?

Um, crashed the movie, yeah, okay.

What was the guy that wrote the movie, wrote the book, and he was on Oprah, and the book was great.

Oh, and he turned out to be a plagiarist?

He turned out the guy that didn't write the book, James Fred.

Yeah, I think that somebody should do like an Oprah spreadsheet.

Ringer Narrative Pod.

Ringer Narrative Pod.

Episode 3.

The guy who lied about his book.

A spreadsheet about the things that Oprah has put us on and whether or not it's actually been super dope.

You know what?

You miss 100% of the shots.

Are you going to call it

Oprah Lose-Free?

There you go.

Yeah.

There you go.

Doesn't roll off the tongue, but we can work shot.

That's an interesting title.

I like it, Joe.

I don't.

Here's my question: about Paul Haggis pitches this show, pitches this as a TV show.

Yeah.

What does Crash the TV show look like?

Well, we found out they made it on Stars.

Oh, my God.

Dennis got honored.

And then he died.

But what is it?

Well, he died.

That's why the show got canceled.

But what does it look like in the mid-2000s?

Where is it airing?

It's Showtime.

I would say Showtime.

No, HBO Pass.

Showtime is a great, it's a great call.

HBO Passes.

Might be Stars because it was on Stars.

I think it's Showtime.

I think you're right.

How about 10 years later is Crash?

Is that a Netflix?

It's for sure Netflix.

Like the fourth show they make.

So a couple other things.

Terrence Howard, who mentioned Huge Year.

Bullock is in the movie for like less than 10 minutes, but was really

in it so much more.

Yeah.

Here's,

I'm going to, before we get to the categories, who's the worst person in this movie?

Ryan Phillipy.

Why?

Why do you think?

I think it's super miscast.

No, how about I'm saying character, not

character.

Yeah.

Well, he also does a murder, but

so it's not a bad pick.

What about Fickner?

I got to be honest with you.

That scene between Fickner and

Cheadle, that is the one scene in the movie that overwhelmingly works to me.

Oh, I think the Tony Danza scene's good.

That's a good scene.

I think the Danza scene.

I thought that was one of the most realistic.

That's the one that's closest to like an actual conversation that a human has had in their life.

But either one of those things,

either one of those scenes, like I've literally been both of those black dudes.

Yeah.

Like, I've been the black dude where some white guys, like, like, sitting you down and he's telling you, you just don't know when to take a win.

Like, you need to do, you have to get a little dirty to get what you need to do.

And I've also been the other guy.

Let's fucking got fired for that.

I also have been the, I've been the guy where they're trying to tell you to ramp it up a little bit.

Yeah.

And you're you're like, don't tell me how to, but I didn't, he cucked out.

I apologize for that.

You've never.

Don't even play like that.

Don't even play like that because people will believe that.

But in that first conversation, the one that you're saying, the Cheetah Fickner conversation, when you had that conversation, did that person say to you, black people, am I right?

Is that something that they said with their mouth to you?

What they don't, the, obviously, they play the scene up a little bit, they don't say it like that, though.

But what they do is they rap.

They're trying to get to their end.

It's a shit sandwich as a gift.

Yeah.

They're trying to get to their end.

And they tell you, listen, you're not going to be able to do what you want to do by staying pure.

You're going to have to get dirty and play the optics of it.

This is how the world works.

This is how it works.

Yeah, that conversation, just not the way that it plays out inside of this movie.

No, because he said all that to grab his attention, to like rope, to like rope him in and make him know that I'm shooting straight with him.

I think the worst character in the movie as a human being is Sandra Book.

It's completely unredeeming.

There's not one redeeming thing.

I was going to bring that up later.

Did she create the Karen character?

But see, you could.

Is this the first Karen in the side?

Am I your most Karen-adjacent member of the Ringer staff?

She's way worse than a Karen.

Like a Karen, this is because the thing about a Karen is that it's sometimes subtle or insidious.

Yeah.

And that's, there's no subtlety here with this character.

You know what I mean?

I still go for Matt Dylan and I'll tell you why.

Like, it's a good choice.

So

I'm not going to argue it.

So

there's no bad options in this movie.

It's true.

With, with, with, they don't give Michael Pena

any,

he's got no red in his ledger.

That's true.

He's a, he's, he's the only character.

Well, he's the answer to the other question, which is who's the best character in this movie.

Easily.

Easily.

Easily him.

Easily him.

They probably deleted a domestic violence scene with him or something.

Or something like that.

I got to make them not like him.

But she gets traumatized early in the movie.

And the thing about that is that

her fear gets validated.

She's scared of the guys.

Yeah, she's...

holding the purse.

But at the same time, they actually robbed her.

So the rest of the time that like she's she's freaking out about stuff, you're thinking, well, her instincts were right before.

You can almost like argue it away as being as her being validated.

Yeah, validated a little bit.

But with him, he literally is having issues in another area of his life.

He's the nightmare police officer.

He's the cop that's having a bad situation at home, that's having a bad day, that got stuck in traffic.

And because of that, he kills or assaults you.

Like he did save the lady at the end and he is going through something with his father, but that's like the worst version of the fear that a lot of people have of the police.

I think there's also, I mean, for me, it's, it's,

because it's all systemic, uh,

the, the Brennan Fraser character and the Fickner character and that whole,

you know, office, again, it's, it's like, it's subtler, especially the Brennan Fraser character, who you could argue if you're watching it, you think, well, he's close to a good guy.

He doesn't want his wife to say racist shit inside of his house and stuff like that but like

no there's there's nastiness there too and the nastiness that's hidden i think is much scarier than her you know spewing it around the house at the end though it looked like brendan frasier was oh he's definitely fucking her getting it in that's the type of shit that we're talking about deleted scene there definitely yes yeah yeah yes

no no gay 100 miles an hour jesus where's nona at i interviewed her at the ali junket i told you about that yeah how'd that go she's unbelievable Yeah.

I don't know why she wasn't a gigantic star.

I don't really understand it.

It seemed like she didn't want it.

I don't think she did.

And because there was, there's a moment here that's this, The Matrix, a missing one.

Oh, and Ali.

She was one of the most beautiful actresses of that decade.

Yeah.

It felt like it was all sitting there for her.

It kind of seemed like at the end, she just kind of wasn't into it.

Probably.

$6.5 million budget, made $98.4 million.

Lowest-grossing film domestically to win best picture in 18 years.

Last Emperor.

That's a great film.

One Oscars for picture, screenplay, editing, nominated for director, Matt Dillon, and one more.

Roger Ebert.

Here we go.

We love Roger Ebert.

Every once in a while, he misses.

The great ones miss.

Larry Bird missed a couple game winners.

Michael Jordan missed a couple game winners.

What happened?

Yeah.

Four stars.

Best film of 05.

Quote: Not many films have the possibility of making their audiences better people.

I don't expect Crash to work any miracles, but I believe anyone seeing it is likely likely to be moved to have a little more sympathy for people not like themselves.

Give the context, though.

What's the context?

Give the context about Raj.

Why this movie might have touched him and affected him.

Oh, because of his wife.

Yeah.

Or you think that's it?

Yeah.

I think he watched, I think, I think that he watched the movie.

What do you think she thought of the movie?

She probably was like, Raj, that shit sucks.

But

she was like, she was probably like, man, I don't want to to hear no more about that.

Get that movie out of here.

But he probably felt like in a place where he's been probably judged and people have made a lot of decisions about him and his life because he's married to a black lady.

He probably looked at the movie and went, huh, I get it.

Because some of the shit that Rogers probably got probably came from the black community, which sometimes can be deified in conversations about race relations.

So a movie that paints everybody as a little fucked up, he probably was fucking with it a little bit, a little more than another critic would be.

After the Oscars, he said, as someone who felt broke back was a great film, but Crash a greater one.

Yeah.

I would have been pleased if either had won.

And then he said about Crash, it's not a safe harbor, but a film that takes the discussion of racism in America in a direction it has not gone before in the movies.

directing attention at those who congratulate themselves on not being racist, including liberals and or minority group members.

See?

They, see,

they like you and/or minority group members.

Raj was tired of people looking at him crazy at the NAACP award.

And he's like, you're racist too.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

Same thing.

Coates called it the worst film of the decade in 2009.

This was the first wave of the backlash.

He said, I don't think there's a single human being in Crash.

Arguments and propaganda violently bumping into each other, impressed with their own quirkiness.

It's a kind of unthinking and curious, nihilistic multiculturalism.

Nothing tempers my extremism extremism more than watching a fellow liberal exhort the virtues of crash.

Then he just goes on and on and on, killing it.

Let's get to the categories.

What's the perfect age to see this movie?

Exactly.

I have 65.

Oh,

I wrote 15 babies first racism.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What do you think?

You the tiebreaker, 15 or 65?

I'm going to go in the middle.

I'm going to go like 23.

Why?

Oh, because I think that

23 is at the point where you could have, which is the perfect response to Crash.

It's called the 10-minute regret.

Crash is a 10-minute regret movie.

We've all seen it before, where you leave a movie and you go, shit, that shit was...

Okay.

Yeah, that shit was pretty good, man.

I see what they was doing.

And then on the drive home, by the time you make it home, you're like, man, fuck that movie like she you know what i'm saying by the time you make it home you like this 10 minute regression i've heard van drop this take on like countless superhero movies it happens all the time like you you leave the theater and you're like they did it and then by the time you get home you're like man that sucked like it and and crash is the perfect movie and the perfect time at 23 24 you think you know the world you know just enough to know that what you saw is bullshit there's a cousin to the 10 minute take which was my stepfather after we saw Godfather 3.

Yeah.

Which is the, I've just lost my leg because it got bit by a shark, but my dad is telling me it's okay.

Relieving Godfather.

He's like, no, no, it was okay.

It was okay.

It was good.

There was some good stuff in there.

And I was like, I have a bloody stuff for a right leg.

I think seeing it when you're younger.

and thinking it's really saying something and then watching it again with your when you're a little older.

I think Joe's right, but I think old people still, the 65 and up crowd.

Craig, what do you have?

I literally wrote down 72-year-old rich white men because those are all the people that voted for this movie, the Oscars.

Yeah, it's true.

It's so validating for every old rich white dude.

Correct.

Can't wait for Craig's take later.

Categories, most rewatchable scene.

Carjacking scene.

It's a good scene.

I say

Pena and his daughter.

We're going to list a bunch of them.

You have Pena and the daughter?

The locksmith scene?

The witch.

The pope being just a bitch from hell as poor Michael Pena's working on her door.

I would like the locks changed again in the morning.

And you know what?

You might mention that we'd appreciate it if next time they didn't send a gang member.

Yes, yes.

What you mean that kid in there?

Yes, the guy in there with the shaved head, the pants around his ass, the prison tattoo.

Those are not prison tattoos.

Oh, really?

And he's not going to go sell our key to one of his gang banger friends the moment he is out our door.

You've had a really tough night.

I think it'd be best if you just went upstairs right now.

And what?

Wait for them to break in.

I just had a gun pointed in my face.

You lower your voice.

And it was my fault because I knew it was going to happen.

But if if a white person sees two black men walking towards her and she turns and walks in the other direction, she's a racist, right?

Well, I got scared and I didn't say anything, and 10 seconds later, I had a gun in my face.

Now, I am telling you, your amigo in there is gonna sell our key to one of his homies, and this time it'd be really fucking great if you acted like you actually gave a shit.

This motherfucker, Michael Pena, was going through it.

He really was.

He too, he like

two weeks.

This is like two fucking days.

It's 24 24 hours yeah like it so he he literally catches two calls one

where he gets called a gang member when he's a loving devoted father yeah and then the other one where he tries to tell the guy like yeah fix your door fix your door and the guy goes off on him yeah

um

the locksmith scene

Brendan Fraser not being able to tell the difference between black and Iraqi, kind of an underrated racist moment in the movie.

He's a stealth winner there.

The Dylan Newton harassment scene, I don't know if rewatchable is the right word, but it's a pretty affecting scene.

And I think Terrence Howard.

He's really good in that.

Terrence Howard and her are both fantastic in that scene.

Terrence Howard's great in that scene.

Like the way his demeanor slowly changes.

That's the confusing thing about this movie, is the actors are really good in it.

They all are.

And they got top-flat actors.

I tell you something about this movie, though.

Terrence Howard doubled up really well in this movie.

I mean, in his career.

Having DJ from Hustle and Flow

come right after this was a gift.

It was a gift that these movies were out at the same time.

Because if not, this is the type of movie that could Orlando Bloom you from Troy.

I don't think Orlando Bloom ever recovered from Troy because he was too much of a bitch.

Okay.

He was, he was, he, I'm sorry, Orlando Bloom was the man.

And then in Troy, he was just such a bitch that I think it really hurt him for years to come.

And his character is so feckless in this movie that it's the kind of thing that can stain you, particularly with the community for a while.

Interesting.

But DJ kind of got him back there because DJ was a straight G.

I'm so confused, though, but he's throwing trash into a car fire at the end of the movie.

Isn't that a show of strength and character growth?

Yeah, he got his strength back.

He never got it back.

He's throwing stuff in the fire.

He never got it back.

Brave roll, though.

Seriously, brave roll to tell.

And he had a lot of issues, to say the least, in his personal life.

Yeah, certainly.

Terrence Howard.

Yeah.

If those issues don't happen,

I think he's in the conversation.

Happened.

He's still Roadie.

I think he would have been in a bunch of great stuff.

I think it made him unhireable for a couple years there.

Oh, I mean, I'll say this.

He's had a fantastic career, even still.

Yeah.

But I think this when he started having his issues,

right at the time, he would have been drifting off these two movies.

My thing is a testament to how talented he is is that he kept getting hired after these things became obvious.

Because think about it: Prisoners is after this.

Yeah.

Empire is after this.

Oh, yeah.

Like, he in he's back now.

He's the world's smartest man.

He's figuring out astrophysics and all kinds of shit.

He was the first hired onto Iron Man.

The first actor.

Highest paid.

Highest paid.

Yeah.

A couple more.

The Tony Danza scene.

Have you noticed?

I mean, this is weird for a white guy to say, but have you noticed he's talking a lot less black lately?

No, I haven't noticed that.

Really?

I don't like in this scene?

I was supposed to say, don't be talking about that.

And he changed it to, don't talk to me about that.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

You think because of that, the audience won't recognize him as being a black man?

Come on.

Is there a problem, Cam?

Excuse me?

Is there a problem, Cam?

Terrence Howard, there was an oral history about this movie, and Terrence Howard said about the Tony Dances scene.

I remember Paul telling me about when he worked for a network, there were execs who told black jokes, and his black colleagues had to just laugh along.

He wondered what their lives were like and what it felt like to be ethnically neutered.

Shit.

Tony Danza, by the way, incredible stunt casting.

Never, I don't think I thought I could see him like that.

Never before since has Danza done something like that, I think.

So, no way.

Yeah.

But he's pretty good in it.

Okay.

I was kind of surprised.

Dylan saves Newton.

Just a really well-filmed scene.

It's absurd.

I think if I'm her, I'd just rather die in the car.

That scene makes me sick to watch, honestly.

It's really well done, though.

I have a new category.

I have least rewatchable scenes.

This movie has

several of them.

Least rewatchable scenes.

And that Terrence Howard getting carjacked and then Fighting Back would be the only other one I have.

But

see,

so that's one of the more absurd scenes in the movie that kind of works.

Like that they don't check the car, they don't nothing.

Okay, our bad.

Like him sort of getting to the thing, and he's in front of the cops.

Because actually, I've seen people that are just tired of taking shit, yeah, make mistakes with the police like that, to where they just you're taking the wrong time with the wrong group of people to assert your manhood.

Like, I'm not gonna let you tell me to move, and all that stuff.

That kind of thing actually, they might have stumbled onto something that actually kind of happened.

So, what do you have for the most rewatchable scene?

Yeah, Michael Panya and his daughter, okay, like the invisible cloak scene, fan.

I got

Licner and Cheadle.

That I watched that scene.

Fickner.

I'm sorry.

Fickner.

Licner.

He's dealing with Ryan Philippe.

Ryan Philippe.

William Lickner.

I have him and Cheadle.

I actually watched that scene three times.

I think that's a great scene.

I think Cheadle is great in the scene.

And I just think that's like a, that's actually a legitimately great movie scene to me.

You know, I know all the sociological reasons why, per capita, eight times more black men are incarcerated than white men.

Schools are a disgrace, lack of opportunity, bias in the judicial system, all that stuff.

All that stuff.

But still,

it's got to get to you.

On a gut level, there's a black man.

They just can't keep their hands out of the cookie jar.

I'm a Fickner fan.

I mean, he's a huge Fickner.

Fickner's a good fan.

Fickner doing voice-only work in Mr.

and Mrs.

Smith is one of my top-tier stealth great performances.

What's the most 2005 thing about this movie, Joanna?

The landline on Sandra Bullock that she drops as she falls down the stairs.

Ooh, landline.

That's really good.

My dad still has a landline.

Yeah.

Won't give it up.

Oh, does he?

Yeah.

Interesting.

I have no camera phones and unironic racism.

Huh.

Unironic racism is an enduring legacy, Bill.

But yeah, no one filming any of this police stuff.

Yeah, if they're doing this in 2025, somebody's filming something at some point in one of these scenes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But yeah, Van, smoking in Los Angeles.

Oh,

smoking in Los Angeles.

Happier times.

Like, people just, he's like, he's just ripping SIGs, going crazy, smoking in Los Angeles.

Yeah.

What's age the best?

We mentioned Michael Pena.

This is an important Michael Pena movie.

It gets the train rolling for him as a movie guy.

I'm a huge fan of his.

I actually wish he was in more stuff.

I agree.

I was so fired up when he was in Land Man

and then spoiled it.

And then he was fired up.

And then he was literally fired up because they blew him up

in one episode.

I haven't seen it yet.

Yeah.

What do you got for what stage of best?

Anything?

The MCU.

A lot of MCU peeps in this.

Oh, yeah.

Two different roadies.

Both roadies are in the middle.

Double roadie.

Double Roadie.

Michael Penya.

Michael Penya.

I think I wrote him down here.

The dude who helped Iron Man

is the

shop on.

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, the Persian guy.

The Persian guy

who helped Iron Man.

Yeah, oh, so he should win the that guy award.

I forgot that he was in that.

There's another great that guy, yes, too, but like the guy who helped Iron Man.

And then, in Michael Penya, Louise.

So I'm looking at the movie and I'm saying all of the MCU people that are in the movie.

The MCUs.

What do you have for what's age the best thing, guys?

Indictment of the LAPD, top to bottom.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's aged nicely.

You know something else about the movie that makes it very 2005?

So the film is actually coming off the worst, like, criticizing the LAPD now, is actually kind of tripe.

People don't actually do it as much as they used to.

It's not a top of mind thing anymore.

There's still obviously a lot to talk about, but this movie kind of buttons that up a little bit.

Like, the conversation around the LAPD, the LAPD was by far the most notorious police department in America throughout the 90s.

It was a 90s thing that I think people have forgotten about a little bit.

Crash, we're bringing it back.

Yeah, I will say

critique of the health insurance industry.

Oh, that's a good what's going on.

That's a good job.

Yeah, it was first rewatchable.

She's doing great.

Rolling heat.

Really doing great.

I have a what-stage the best because I didn't notice this until I watched this movie twice in six days.

The very ending when the car gets rear-ended,

that's Shaniqua.

Yeah, Laura Devine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just, for some reason, didn't notice that.

And the insurance guy.

Yeah.

That's who?

The insurance guy.

I know, but who, but who is that though?

Shaniqua.

I just never thought I'd hear you.

Did you say Shaniqua?

Yeah.

She's the character's name.

Okay.

No, I'm with it.

Shaniqua.

Shaniqua.

Put a little sauce on it.

Don't do that.

Don't take the bait.

Don't take the bait.

Don't listen to me.

Let's sit in your bait.

I have Keith David, who I love in every movie.

He pops in this one.

And just delivers.

Yeah.

And just delivers in that one scene.

Yeah.

See, I'd say the cast as a web stage is the best for me.

He has really good

That's what he is very good.

But do you understand, though, that, like, if there's a, this guy is riding high, right?

Because he just won an Academy where he can do whatever he wants.

There's a version of this movie that has more scenes like the Keith Davids scene, more scenes like the Figner scene.

That's not as.

You're talking about Haggis riding high off a million dollar picture.

Yeah, what I'm saying is like the movie loses itself in how important it actually thinks that it is.

Yeah.

Because that scene with him is a perfectly good scene

where a black man in authority is saying, you're not going to fuck this up for me.

And it can be fucked up.

This is what you're going to do.

This is how we're going to work this around.

Like that works.

And that's under, for me, that's under the umbrella of the LAPD indictment because there's like Keith David from Keith David to Ryan Philippe and everything in between.

It's just like, there's no good corner at the LAPD in this movie.

I have one more with Sage's the best, but you guys, if you have anything left, tell me now.

No.

i like when sandra bullock gets a little

gets a little randy with her movie picks yeah i like angry angry bitchy sandra bullock like she did it in uh the blind side was like a totally different character for her i liked her in what's the movie when she gets gravity

i just i i felt like she like when she saw of her with like rom-coms versus her pushing herself to and maybe hollywood didn't take her seriously as like a serious actress but i think she's a really good actress.

Well, she won Academy Award for that.

I know she did.

But I think she just got pigeonholed in this like Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan category for like almost two decades.

Yeah.

And then it finally kind of broke out of it a little bit late.

But I think she's really good.

And then she made all about Steve and changed it all around for herself.

I'm pro-Bullock is my point.

I like her.

I'll say Jabest is Bullock.

You know what the funny thing is?

You just brought up Gravity.

That movie's good.

It's on the relatives list.

Have you got it neuralized?

I completely forgot about how much i loved and enjoyed it's a great movie people don't talk about it you'll be getting it on rewatchable like in interstellar is talked about every six weeks for

interstellar is fucking great whatever you don't like interstellar no

you don't like are you a nolan guy hold on for a second just allow me 30 seconds of latitude i like gravity i like gravity as well but you don't with interstellar at all i i don't i haven't watched it since the year it came interesting you should re-watch it you should rewatch it that's actually a really good re-watchable that one gets better every time you watch it let's sit that one out.

What?

What about Inception?

Do you like Inception?

No.

Oh, you don't like Christopher Nolan.

Never mind.

Move on.

Inception's too weird.

You don't like it.

Memento?

Love Memento.

Yeah, you're a Memento guy.

Oh, so you're early Nolan.

Yeah, yeah.

I love Dark Knight.

That's kind of Nolan.

It's like, I respect all the Nolan movies.

I just like, I wouldn't like crank up.

Oh, let me get an Inception on Blu-ray and crank this out.

I think Inception is a polarizing movie, though.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So is Interstellar.

Yeah.

But they're all, I think they're all better the more you.

I might be wrong on Interstellar.

I know I'm not wrong about Contact.

That's the one where I'm like, that movie sucked.

You'll never convince me otherwise.

That movie was bad.

Wow.

Fickner catching another stray.

Contact.

Jody Foster.

The Carl Sagan joint about aliens and all of that stuff.

David Morse.

I always saw it one time.

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I love having a State Farm commercial on the crash episode.

That's great stuff.

Great.

Great Shot Gordo Award.

Most cinematic shot.

I don't have anything here.

This is an ugly-looking movie.

Matt Dylan

pulling Newton out of the car.

We can shoehorn that in, but this movie is so obviously low-budget that they don't really.

This is a screenwriter who tried to direct a movie.

The one

flare is the sort of reverse zoom on Michael Pena when he's screaming because he thinks his daughter got shot.

I'm going to make Van reenact that later.

Or maybe at the end of

Ryan

Philippe.

Philippe.

Ryan Philippe.

And Philippe.

Yeah.

Like burning the car, which

that shot, him with the gloves.

With taking the gloves off, signaling that what Matt Dylan said to him earlier in the movie has already come to pass.

Just wait till you're on the job a little bit longer.

And it's like

wait a couple hours.

Wait a couple hours.

Yeah.

It happened that night.

Did we have a kid cutting pursuit of happiness award for best needle drop?

There's no music in the movie.

Yeah, there's really no music, right?

There's a stereophonics Maybe Tomorrow drop right at the end, which I like, but there's also, it was nominated for best original song.

Kathleen York, who plays the cop early in the movie.

She plays one of the cops early in the movie.

Her song in the deep plays, and it is the most like

we want to be Magnolia Amy Mann moment.

Yeah.

Okay.

But no, but it's bad.

Good answer.

But you win, though.

But it's, but it's terrible.

You're gonna have to win.

Chess Rockwell and Brock Landers award for best character names.

Say it, Bill.

Shaniqua.

Shaniqua.

Definitely.

There you go.

Put a little sauce on that motherfucker.

Shaniqua Johnson.

Van, you're up with the flex category.

You have to pick any category.

I knew you were going to screw this up.

Any category?

I have my own category.

Yeah.

Okay.

You want to use your own category here?

Yeah, right here.

Go ahead.

Let's hear it.

This is an all-time We Solve Racism movie, and I got the top five We Solve Racism movies of all time.

I put it in here.

Okay, so I got to figure out what the category name of this is.

Vans

Van's

historical

historical takeaway.

The Van Latham

Historical Impact.

Yeah, top five We Solve Racism movies.

Top five white people saw racist movies.

At number five, The Blind Side.

That's where racism loses to athleticism.

At number four, A Time to Kill.

Blacks Deserve Revenge.

Are you just doing Sandra Bullock movies?

No.

I mean, they're all here.

she's been in a lot of them.

Number three, we're all racist and it's beautiful.

Yeah, number two, the help

or how white women will save us.

Yeah.

Number one, driving Miss Daisy.

Yeah.

How elderly sexual tension makes a cool Oreo swirl.

It's an amazing list.

That's it.

Stop.

I really wanted Miss Daisy to be number one and then disappoint.

Yeah.

I was really hoping the help would be on there.

That's what I was really going for.

Help and Daisy Are two movies that after the screenwriters or the playwright finished writing the movie, they went,

Yeah, I did it.

We've done it.

Well, The Help is another one where it's an absurd movie,

but the actors are pretty good.

They're good at the movie.

You feel bad because there's good scenes.

It's like this.

It's like ridiculous.

Yeah, good.

Ah, shit.

Emma Stone's like really killing it in this.

I was working in a bookstore when that book came out.

And this woman that I worked with, who was in her like 60s or 70s, who worked at the store with me, hated the book so much and but people were coming in white women were coming in by the droves to buy the help and she was like oh the hep you want to get the hep she just called it the hep like to their faces and they like they thought they were mishearing her because she was this older woman and she could just get away with it it's great the butcher's girlfriend award for the weak link of the film this is tough to narrow it down

I have the Persian shop owner because I still have no idea what's going on in that character and what his arc was in this movie.

This is a a 9-11 commentary well he doesn't realize he has a gun with blanks even though the box says blanks he can't read english he can't read english it says blanks he can't read

english she says that earlier in the movie like he can't read his insurance policy he doesn't read english right and his wife is deanna troy from star trek i just think but don't the blank box even say like blanks where it explodes and there's nothing there no what are you like there's a cartoon of like it's

it's very clear that there's no bullets it's just not on i mean i didn't see any cartoons on this particular box yeah He shoots a little girl with blanks, and then everyone's like, okay, we're going to go inside now.

Well, what do you if there's a madman on the street?

If there's a madman on the street with a gun, let's say.

They just went back in the house.

Who wants some cereal?

He, he, he, I mean, they might have called the cops.

You don't know what they did when they got them.

It don't look like they called it.

Honey, you want a Pop-Tart?

Yeah.

Everybody's.

That crazy guy's still out there.

Oh, he is.

Yeah.

Hey, you guys want to watch a movie?

It's Christmas, too.

This is a Christmas movie.

Oh, it sure is.

There's wreaths and Christmas trees everywhere.

And then it's no longer.

Did he understand English or he couldn't?

He could understand it.

He couldn't read it.

He could speak it poorly and he could not read it.

Because

Penya is like, you need a new door.

Fix the lock.

You need a new door.

And the guy's like, you're trying to change.

But the language barrier,

he's functional enough to be able to run a store, but the language barrier is part of the social dysfunction that's stopping them from understanding each other.

But if he's so dysfunctional that he can't understand he needs a new door.

How does he run a store?

Like they make it so that he literally can't understand anything, but yet we're expected to believe he's working 40 hours a week running a store.

But we gotta, we can't do it.

He thought an angel saved him.

This character sucked.

What do you have, Joanna?

It's good old Philippe, Ryan Philippi.

I think that miscasting?

I think A, it's miscast.

There's an amazing casting widow for this that we won't say no.

I agree.

And it would be a lot better with that.

But I think he's miscast because Ryan Philippe has, I'm just saying it wrong now.

Ryan Philippe has a face that I don't trust ever.

I've never trusted him.

You want him in cruel intentions.

I want him in cruel intentions.

I don't want him as like a, oh no, not him.

He shot someone, which is sort of what you're supposed to feel in this moment.

And

then the turn from that character is

makes no sense.

You need a beat between,

or you need to see him visibly shaken from the interaction with Taryn Tower or something like that.

There's really no wrong choices with the Butcher's Girls

movie.

Honestly, it pains me to say this.

It's Lorenz Tate.

Okay.

He's miscast.

He's totally miscast.

He's playing this so wide-eyed because he's trying to seem very chain like he's younger, but we know him.

Yeah.

And we know that he's more senior than this.

We remember young Lorenz Tate.

We remember if the old dog era, Lorenz Tate, they tried to recast,

it makes a lot of sense.

He just doesn't.

Like Paul Haggis, the wire is right there.

Just scrap.

You have 20 different good actors.

you just grabbed.

Yeah.

Actually, you know what's funny?

Is JD Walker, who plays Bodhi in the wire, would have been perfect in that role.

They could have had Omar.

Could have been.

I mean, they could have picked anybody.

What's Age the Worst?

Sandra Beaufun down the Stairs.

This movie won for best editing.

I encourage people to, if they watch this after, to watch how bad the editing.

It's honestly like if we made like a Spotify movie about the ringer and we just like did a quick cut to try to, it's so bad.

They must have run out of money for that scene.

Two movies named Crash in eight years is just weird.

I don't, I think there should be a rule of five as the movies are.

You get a title, you at least get 20 years with the title for the next one.

Yeah.

How good or watched does the movie have to be in order to?

I think it has to make like at least like five million dollars.

Okay.

Yeah.

Did you see the other crash, 96 crash?

I saw it in the movie theater.

That was weird.

Let me tell you something.

That movie gets after it.

That movie gets after it.

I remember, I had to see it.

I remember going to Buffalo Video, baker louisiana

and like and and renting that movie and a lady at the uh at the front going judging you son that is a weird movie and i i still had to see it he has sex spader has sex with the cuttinger leg yeah we pitched we saw pitched in this text exchange of James Spader freak era rewatchable series

rewatchables with the spader yeah you know the other crash craig no oh craig Oh, my God.

Craig, you got to get dirty.

That is, yeah.

You know what?

So we already did 8mm.

But what we should have done was...

Fucked up movie month?

Yeah, we should have done 8mm.

Crash is too fucked up.

Oh, dog.

That's one that deserves a remote.

We should have just done Crash Month.

Are there two other movies named Crash?

Yeah, I bet there are.

I'm going to start taking clips from Crash and just putting them on my Twitter.

Without any content.

I am.

That's a crazy movie.

This is the new Cowboy hat.

You should have done done that after the Luka Dotches trade.

You should just start pushing clips of crash.

What do you have to say?

The Matt Dylan hero

turn.

Easy work.

Easy work.

The Matt Dylan stuff and the fact that he's then the only actor nominated for this movie.

Have you seen that clip?

Well, there's a reason for that, though, because Howard, that they wanted to push him for Hustle and Flow.

And I think Howard would have gotten nominated.

Yeah, but there's a lot of other great options that's not Matt Dylan.

There's this clip that comes around to me every so often of Aubrey Plaza hosting the Entity Spirits Award when Black Klansman came out.

And she was like, Adam Driver, congrats on being the only actor nominated for Black Klansman.

You're the best one in this movie.

And that's what I thought.

That's what I thought when I saw Matt Dylan was the only actor nominated for Crash.

I'm surprised Newton didn't get nominated, actually, because I thought she was excellent.

The image of this movie, the image of this movie, is her clinging to him

after the crash.

Yeah, for sure.

They played that up and made it.

More would say it's the worst.

In LA, we're trapped behind meadow and glass.

You got to crash into someone to feel something.

Joanna's like, Joanna might move here.

This movie's going to get in her head.

Can I tell you?

When I first moved to San Francisco, I was walking down the street.

This is like right after this movie came out.

And this guy, and this is going to sound unreal because I recently said on a different podcast about an inception pickup line that a guy tried on me, but I bumped into this guy and he's like, let's crash into each other like the movie.

And I was just like, like, literally.

Wow.

That is the thing that has happened to me.

San Francisco is freaky.

Freaky.

Freaky for like

freaks.

Always since the 60s.

Yeah.

Going for it.

Weird, freaky places.

Who said something like that?

He probably was a vampire.

Do you think he was talking about this movie or do you think he was talking about the James Cape movie?

It could have been either.

It's a car crash situation.

Yeah.

More with Sage DeWorse.

Cheeto calls his girlfriend Mexican, and she responds by saying angrily, my mother's from Puerto Rico and my father's from El Salvador.

And then he responds by saying, Why do all of your people park their cars in their lawns?

Yeah.

That's an actual exchange.

Well, it's because everyone's racist, Bill.

That was where they're going to be.

Don't like Don Cheeto too much.

She's got this side too.

They're just trying to slide that in there.

Sidebar, can I just throw something in in the movie that also really works?

The whole thing with Don Cheeto and his brother and his mother, that's effective.

Yeah.

Like that actually is effective how she has the one upstanding son.

But for some reason, I don't know how many times you see this, they gravitate towards the fuck-up son, yeah, and try to like protect him and the whole she's projecting the son.

It didn't turn out well for the sun, and it was her fault.

But she wants to blame all of that stuff where she goes, I know it's your fault, but

Dan's talking himself into this movie.

I'm not keeping you, keep complimenting the canvas whole foods bags, the canvas whole foods bags, all that stuff.

I'm just saying that the movie actually has some talent in it, it just falls under the weight of itself.

What else do you have, Joe?

That's it.

Okay.

Um,

the Ruffalo Hannah Rubin Eck Partridge over Acting Award.

Ooh, this is a good one.

I hate to give it to Michael Pena,

but the

10-second scream.

What is happening?

Why is it so long?

It's just weird.

I think it actually kind of works on him in a way.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work for the wife character who we literally don't know.

Yeah.

Because she gets a really long, like, no, like a platoon.

It's not his fault.

It's the editing.

By the way, that wife character, I don't know the actress's name.

That's a

classic bat girl.

Yeah, I don't even know what her name is.

But 187, I think Stand to Deliver, maybe Dangerous Minds, a bunch of different movies.

What do you have for that category?

Van's going to get mad at me.

What?

But I think it's Beverly Todd as Mrs.

Waters as Don Teetles' mom.

Oh, interesting.

Okay.

You're going to get mad at me.

I think it's, how do you say her name?

Bandouille.

Tandouy Newton.

It's Ten Douy Newton.

The scene, the scene where she's crying and telling him that he lost his dignity

in the thing.

She has a cry thing that she does.

She's supposed to be drunk, I think, is part of it.

Are you talking about the one where she comes to his job?

Well, she comes to his job.

Yeah.

Oh, after.

I agree.

I don't like that scene.

Yeah.

I think the bedroom fight is good.

The bedroom fight is good, but she has a cry thing that she does.

her cry is like overpower.

Ugly cry.

Ugly cry that she does.

Joe, you have a flex category.

What do you got?

Oh, I'm sorry in honor of House of R, I'm stealing the Mallory Rubin Award.

Did this movie need a better or an additional sex game?

That's so great.

I'm sure I'll be so pleased.

And I'm going to say we deserve to see Brennan Fraser and Nona Gay

have sex.

When Sander Bullock calls him at the end,

when Sander Bullock calls him at the end, hard R.

Be careful.

Hard R.

There's R and there's hard R.

It's like Borderlands.

You know, that was something I never knew was a thing.

What?

Hard R.

I heard somebody say hard R for a movie.

Hard R is what you said.

You can't say that.

But if you say hard R in a movie that's about race, I agree.

I just didn't know hard R was ever a way to describe an R-rated movie.

Interesting.

Soft R, hard R.

Soft R.

So you just want him to knock some boots.

Well, I just think when Sander Bullock calls at the end and she's like, I fell down.

He's like, your friend's a bitch.

He should have been having sex with her rather than just like glancing at her at the elevator.

And you know, if they cut in, I don't want to direct the scene, but if they cut to yeah, you do, like in the middle, and he's all he's out of breath, he grabs the phone, huh?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

You know what I mean?

Like in the wire, or in any of these, or they do the eternal affairs where it starts with him and it

pans

back, yeah.

And then you find out that he's having sex.

Good one, Mal would have been honored.

The uh, the CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford.

How does take a word?

I already gave mine.

I think Bulk's character was the original Karen.

You guys disagreed.

Did you have a hottest take award?

I think it's the first Karen.

I think it's like the Neil Armstrong of Karen's.

Right.

I think there's a really good short film in here that's just the ludicrous scenes.

Chris Bridges, our guy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Gave it back to Oprah.

Edited it out.

Never heard from him again.

Just put together the ludicrous monologues, and I would rewatch.

That's rewatchable.

He's good.

They could have, he, the movie needed more ludicrous for sure you have a hottest take or keep moving um no my only hottest take is this is the least infective effective anti-slavery movie i've ever seen okay

at the end certainly not not hot at the end he literally frees slaves he literally frees slaves he gives them 40 40

no mule and a mule no mule interesting he gives them 40

40 he gives him tells him he's completely racist to them and at the end, you don't really feel good about it.

You see a guy sink down on the street, and you're like, he's just going to stay there.

He's going to stay there.

He's going to be there in perpetuity.

Were they trying to say something with one of them goes into a video store and sees all the choices for movies?

Is that like hitting us over?

He has the ability to transport and change us, Bill.

Yeah.

He's looking at all the MCU where it's going.

Casting what ifs.

Yeah.

A couple good ones.

Forrest Whitaker was supposed to play the Terrence Howard role, but the filming got delayed.

I thought of the cheetah role.

Is it Howard role?

I have Terrence Howard, but just one of them.

Q Sack was attached to Matt Dylan, had to drop out.

And then the big one is Heath Ledger was supposed to be Ryan Felipe

and dropped out.

And this is kind of a different movie if he's in it because I mean, he makes Black Bat Mountain instead.

So good for him.

But

yeah, I think Heath Ledger, I mean, I actually have different casting ideas for that role, but I think Heath Ledger is a huge improvement in the Ryan Phillippe role.

That character still needs one more scene at least to get where he gets.

Could it be like a Monster's Ball cop Heath Ledger performance?

Wow, Monster's Ball.

I haven't thought about that a lot.

I like Josh Hardnick.

Not on the rewatchable list.

It's it's well, there's certain reasons why it's rewatchable, but it, but it, that's on the, the, Josh Hardnick could have played that young cop.

You know what?

When you said the John Cuzek thing, he should have done it.

No, Cuzak is in the Dylan role and would have been great.

It would have been fantastic.

Genuinely great.

Like legitimately great.

I don't know that I've ever seen him play a role like that.

Like,

he's tried to be bad guys a couple times in a D, but not that kind of thing.

I think seeing him like that would have been, would have been super.

I think Cusack would have been.

I think of those three, Heath Fledger's League's sort of the big one, but I think Cusack is the stealth.

This would have been a much better movie with Cusack in the Matt Dylan role.

So best that guy, it's the guy from Iron Man.

That's a great one.

You know who I have?

Who else did you have?

Jack McGee.

As the gunstore owner, that's mine.

That's mine.

Yeah.

I looked at his CV.

This guy usually plays cops.

And here are some of his character names that he's played: detective, sheriff, deputy, the chief.

There's so many roles he's played that it's just like the name of the rank of the police officer.

I remember him from Scrooge.

Yes.

You can barely see them, nipples.

Scrooge is my favorite Christmas movie.

I remember that.

You could barely see them nipples.

He became figured.

He did too much good work.

Chief David was also of that guy for him.

For a long time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

It's probably somewhere in the 90s it flipped.

I think it changed with something about Mary.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Dean Waders Award.

Jennifer Esposito's Eldridge.

Probably, yeah.

She's great in this movie.

Yeah, she is.

I always liked her.

I never understood why.

They just didn't have anything for her to do.

I always felt like there was a better career for her.

They just didn't have enough for her to do.

Every time she's obviously gorgeous, she's talented.

They just didn't have enough for her she's dope like there was no series for there were there were not a lot there was like a feisty police woman series that she should have been on cbs for eight years it's not too late for john fresposito could have been like whatever that when they started spinning off uh csi miami all those it could have been like csi wherever and just she's the lead

um

dan waiters one more the guy who runs the chop shop Do you want to forget him?

When he says he's my pick.

And when he says, do Do I look like I want to be on the Discovery Channel?

Right.

Loved it.

Love that guy.

I like that guy.

And also, I would say the woman at the locksmiths who like will not give up Michael Pena's name, who's just like smoking and over it and smashing her chair and wearing all the eyeliner.

I really liked her too.

I was trying to remember the relationship that Jennifer Esposito was in.

Eddie Murphy, right?

Early?

No, she was married to Bradley Cooper, but she dated Eddie Murphy in like the 80s.

Oh, did she?

Yeah.

Interesting.

I didn't know that.

Bradley Cooper.

Bradley Cooper.

2006.

A lot of choices for Bradley Cooper.

Yeah.

Recasting Couch Director City.

Joe has something.

For

okay.

On the Ryan Phillippi role.

Yeah.

Matt Damon.

Oh, almost like departed type of character.

Yeah.

Departed.

Is he too old?

No, he's the exact same age as Ryan Phillippi.

I looked up actors that were the same age as Ryan Phillippe.

He's the exact same age.

This is is the year he made Euro Trip and Ocean's 12.

Yeah, he's available.

Euro Trip, greatest campie of all time.

Also, additionally, Toby Maguire, Casey Affleck.

Casey Affleck could have been right.

Casey Affleck.

That's a good one.

Yeah.

I think Josh Hartnett works too, but Casey Affleck works.

I don't think Josh Hartnett is good enough.

As an actor?

Not at that.

I like late stage.

Late stage Hartnett.

I have a director for the recasting.

Quentin Tarantino's crash would have been unbelievable.

Oh, brother, N-words, bro.

Three hours and 30 minutes.

It would have been amazing.

You just wanted to see Sandy's feet more than when she fell down the stairs.

This movie would have gone down the N-word half, bro.

You can't do it, dog.

Spike Lee's crash would have been interesting because then it was

a lot of crane shots, you know what I mean, of people.

But Quentin Tarantino's crash is Spike Lee's crash.

No, Nigay is having sex with Brendan frazier that's what i'm saying probably in the first 20 minutes of course

thank you for not doing uh i recast crash in boston doing i was dreading that monologue thank you for not doing it we're just gonna keep moving crash is boston no i'm not letting you do it

no moving on

half-pass internet research crash first best picture winner to be released on blu-ray interesting june 2006.

fun facts haggis had a heart attack during the last part of the filming yeah missed a week.

He was like, it's just so good.

Yeah.

I'm just making my masterpiece.

This movie needs me.

People have to see this.

In 2015, Hollard Reporter,

they found a bunch of the Oscar voters and asked, what would you do if you had to do this over again?

Yeah.

Broke Back Mountain One convincingly.

And then I didn't really understand how this went.

I'm just going to read what's written down.

Newton wore special protective underwear for the

assault scene because Haggis wanted it to look real from the camera's perspective for Matt Dylan to go there.

I'm going to guess no intimacy coordinator in this movie.

Yeah, it's a wild sound.

What is that?

What kind of underwear are we going to do?

Special is that underwear, right?

Like, are we, is it like, I don't know what to make of that?

Well, they have like the modesty stuff that they wear, right?

Yeah, but he's like, really, like, yeah, he's really up in there.

Yeah.

Do you have anything else?

Are you envisioning like the metal chastity belt from Robin Hood Man and Twitter?

No, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't laugh.

That wasn't funny that Joe said that.

But when she said he was...

He's really up in there.

He was.

That's what I'm saying.

I trod audience of the rewatches.

I'm like, how protective can that underwear be?

What is she to like...

It would almost have to be like an adult diaper with like seven different panties i think it has to be like the metal chastity belt from roman men and tights like i think you need something

a barrier

apex mountain oh

i'll just keep reading stuff until you tell me if it was anybody's apex mountain okay sandra bullock brandon frasier no la race relations undercover cops shooting each other Terrence Howard, there's a case because Hustle and Flow came out the same year.

Oh, well, that moment.

Yeah.

2005.

This is Apex.

This is Apex Mound.

I don't know.

Empire Season 1.

That's pretty.

He was pretty big.

He was a big star on TV.

Yeah.

Maybe.

Yeah.

So, yeah, that's pretty big.

Bigger than Hustle and Flow?

Best actor nomination, Hustle and Flow is pretty tough to beat.

Matt Dylan, no.

St.

Christopher Statues.

I don't have a lot of experience.

Human trafficking?

Probably not.

Don Cheeto, no.

Michael Pena, no.

Ryan Philippe.

Felipe.

What would be his Apex Mound in Hadron?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Don Dewey Newton?

No.

No.

What is her Apex Mountain?

Westworld.

That wasn't she in the first Mission Impossible movie or one of them.

She's Mission Impossible.

Two.

Two.

The worst one.

Lorenz Tate, no.

Ludacris.

It's one of the fast movies.

I don't know which one.

It's Paul Haggis's.

Jennifer Esposito, no.

No, it's Paul Hagis' Apex.

Paul His.

Paul Haggis, definitely.

Yes.

The Church of Scientology's influence, Apex Mountain.

One more break, and then we're going to do Cruiser Hanks.

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Cruise or Hanks?

And what what role would you want them to play in this movie if you pick?

Hanks kills as Brendan Fraser's character.

Kills.

Would love to see Hanks in that morally gray.

If you have Hanks, you got to have the sex scene.

Would love to see Hanks.

Has Hanks ever had sex in a movie other than Forrest Gump?

I can't think of that.

I think that never happened in Combat Class.

Yeah.

Hanks kills in that role.

Can I test drive Tom Cruise and the Matt Dillon character for you guys?

I want Cruise in this because if we're doing Magnolia Methadone, we might as well go all the way.

And I also think you need cokeier energy in this LA movie.

Tom Cruise

helping out the dad.

You get the Magnolia angle yet again with like Tom Cruise's weird dad issues, but then angry, like evil, Tom Cruise as the cop, but then he Tom Cruise trying to save somebody from a fire.

I mean, my vote's Cruz.

I say Cruz.

Is this the rare movie where you could put put Cruz and Hanks in it together?

Yeah, you probably could.

Hanks could be Brent.

I don't think.

I mean, certainly not at this time in his career.

Hanks doesn't belong here.

I don't think.

I don't think so.

Craig Cruz?

I like Cruz in this.

This movie is kind of like a Magnolia type movie.

You could even just get Cruz's character from Magnolia, jam him into this movie.

Because you could also put Craig

William Fickner character, just have him come in for...

If it's a Church of Scientology joint, why not invite Tom Jackson?

Yeah, where was it?

True.

How is he he not in this?

Can I say something about the Cruz thing, though?

He works in Magnolia, but then there are other big ensemble one-scene movies where he doesn't work.

Like he totally ruined Lions for Lambs.

Like he was terrible in that.

That movie kind of sucked.

That movie was.

No, no, no.

He's not the reason that movie did.

There are other reasons, too.

That was a great script.

I read that script and thought that movie was going to win 10 offsets.

We forgot to do Apex Mountain for Church of Scientology.

I think.

2005.

Haggins wins the Oscar.

Cruise is jumping on Oprah's couch.

Yeah, yeah.

Oprah's Couch, Cruz, the jump.

Lose free.

Oprah lose free.

Another Oprah mistake.

Yeah.

Just to let you know.

Soft launch.

Is that Oprah's fault, though?

I'm just saying.

She was part of the hard launch of that whole deal.

Yeah.

Another mistake.

By the way, anytime the Scientology thing is mentioned, just blackmail yourself.

Scorsese or Spielberg?

Martin Scorsese's crash.

This is great.

This is a movie Spielberg would have tried to take on, though.

Yeah.

I feel like he easily could have.

I could see him doing it.

It's edgy for him.

But that's the thing.

It's like safe edgy.

But yeah, Scorsese is the angry.

What role would Philip Seymour Hoffman have played?

One best actor this year, too.

He did for Capote.

I'd throw him in the Matt Dylan role as well.

I think he'd do it.

I'd like to see Evil Cop

Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

Let me tell you something, though.

If he's in it,

it's the redemption part doesn't work as well.

Because he's going to play, it's gonna be was Matt Dylan actually redeemed in this movie.

I guess we could talk about that.

But the but the movie thinks he is, the movie thinks he is.

But if he, if he's in the role, Philip Seymour Hoffman is going to be so loathful and he's going to play it so well.

It'd be funny if he played it like talented Mr.

Ripley Freddy.

Yeah.

How's the peeping, Tommy?

Yeah, it's peeping.

Tommy.

I think

in the Fickner role.

Yeah.

In his like Charlie Wilson's War mode.

Just coming in hot.

Yeah.

The Van Lathan Award.

Did this movie need more black people?

Perfect.

Nope.

We're good.

Picking Knits.

Can't wait.

Wow.

Where do you begin?

I just wrote, oh God, all of them.

Like, I don't know how you pick nets inside of this movie.

What are your...

Wilson is top 10 nits.

I know she's a horrible person, but you just start screaming with the locksmith like 40 feet away.

Nobody does that.

She's angry.

Nobody does anything that they do with this movie.

Nobody would ever do that.

there are no human being behaviors in this movie matt dillon runs into thyondewee newton

twice in like three days yeah and ryan arrests her and then then it just happens to be there and right there

in los angeles ryan philippi runs into terrence howard have that later ryan philippi happens to

pick up john chino his brother la is a gigantic city it you could literally go you could go 10 years without seeing the same thing and not and not How many times did you ever, by the way, the only time I ever run into somebody I know is when I random see you walking down the street?

Well, that's easy.

He's always

walking everybody.

We're sitting down and telling my brother goes, yo, was that your, I was like, yeah, he just, he walks, bro.

He's on a Zoom.

But, but you could literally go 10 years without like randomly running into somebody if you're not at a function, just like out somewhere.

But that's the disease of this kind of movie.

The vignette everything's connected movie.

Yeah.

The like fable.

Has only really worked once.

Magnolia.

I guess

twice then.

What's wrong with Magnolia?

Playing by Heart with Angelina Joey.

That movie's fucking awesome.

No one knows about that movie except for me.

Ryan Phillips is in that movie.

That's a favorite movie.

Dennis Craig's in that movie.

It all comes together in the end.

It's like, whoa, they all know each other.

Gina Roland.

Sorry, spoilers.

Great Gina Roland.

27 years old.

There's a monologue about Dancing About Architecture.

It's a good movie.

Oh, my God.

Jon Stewart's in it.

Literally, I don't know anyone else who's ever saw it.

It would just be me and Joe in Rewatchable.

Rewatchable is playing by heart.

Let's do it.

Wouldn't Matt Dillon just let her die in the car?

In real life, probably.

But remember, he's.

He's like, oh, shit, this is the lady who could probably get me kicked off the force in a five-year lawsuit.

I should just kind of let her go.

There's another version of this movie where he runs up to her and he sees her.

He looks around.

and he like drops a cigarette yeah drops the match oh yeah that's honestly better movie better movie yeah better movie

she's catching she's why he's just walking away yeah that's a better movie so when terrence howard gets carjacked and drives off

and the cops see something happening right and then they decide what something's happened to the car they chase it chase it to this driveway where he's driving erratically they don't walk toward the car they don't check out make sure nobody else is in the car.

Well, Luda is slouching, yeah.

I'm just, I'm just

how police work goes, it's a felony stop at that point.

You're so on a felony stop, you're at least putting him in handcuffs for two minutes, and you're at least checking to see if anyone else is in the car.

Oh, no, you mean you're talking about after, yeah.

When they, when they have him, you know, when Luda, when Luda Chris is slouching in the front seat, they're checking the car.

Well, hold on, but Ryan Phillips, like, let's just walk away from this.

Well, at the beginning, at the beginning of it, you're not checking.

These guys are policemen.

at the beginning of it you're not checking the car

you're on a felony stop you have to neutralize him first

it's you ever been you haven't obviously no i'm saying once they neutralize him you're still checking the car you're gonna go check the car but they hadn't ever really neutralized him because he was still walking it's an absurd scene he was advancing towards them so like they're gonna be like

they go get out the car get out the car get out the car you get out the car but whatever whatever but like they're gonna deal with him first before they go check he wouldn't even sit down on the curb.

So, like, they weren't doing anything.

Um,

Don Cheeto gets into a car accident right where his brother had just been killed.

What are the odds of that?

Like, one in a Kajillion?

I think he was supposed to show up to that scene and gets in the car accident.

Yeah.

Um, the white van just has keys in it for 12 hours, and nobody just takes it.

Sure,

the chop shop guy knew exactly what to do in an unexpected human trafficking situation.

He knows how to sell people.

Not his first rodeo.

Not his first

human trafficking.

He's a real human being.

I would think, hold on, I'm going to call Al.

Wait a minute.

He's like, first of all, they're Tyre Cambodian.

Secondly.

Yeah, he knows the whole deal.

I would think that he would be like, I mean, he didn't want the heat of the blood spatter from earlier, but he wants the heat.

of selling trafficking.

Sounds great.

Yeah.

So I would think he would have been even more freaked out, but he wasn't.

He got all fucking.

I think he knows what he's doing.

Tommy Jefferson with the shit.

Or chop shoes.

He's secretly the most evil people on the planet.

That's one of the lessons from Crash.

They're actually supposed to be kind of cool.

That's what I thought.

Yeah.

Any other nitpicks?

No.

Just the whole movie.

Sequel, prequel, Prestige TV, all Black Caster Untouchable.

We mentioned earlier, it became a stars TV show in 2008.

I think there's a prestige version of this show.

That you could try to make.

I wouldn't want to watch it, but I think it makes makes more sense in that context than a lot of people.

I think it's untouchable, but not the way you usually use untouchable on this show.

True.

You could orient.

It's touchable.

It's touchable.

You could orient a prestige show around the case that Don Cheadle was on,

right?

Yeah.

Around that case, like with the dirty cop and the whole deal and the machinations within like City Hall.

And then it could spread out from there, then to the DA, then to his son, then to his brother.

It would have to be a black showrunner.

Yeah, the sequel to this is the hunt for Ryan Phillippy, right?

Is Ryan Phillip going back to work?

He burned his car.

Is he going to work?

Oh, he's going back to work.

He's going to work.

He's going back to work.

Yeah, he's got to go back to work.

So Don Cheeto's looking for the murder of his brother who was on the force.

All of that.

That's part of the show.

Core Jefferson's Crash.

Core Jefferson.

But it's a comedy.

Yep.

Oh.

After he does entourage.

He does.

Entourage.

He does it.

Guess what?

It's already a comedy.

Crash is already a comedy.

He just does it.

It's like when Gus Van Sand did Psycho as a shot by shot remake.

Shot by shot remake.

Or just does a shot by shot.

Yeah, Griffin's von.

What is he doing?

Is this movie better than Wayne Jenkins, Danny Treyo, Doris Berg, Sam Jackson, no, Byron Mayo, Barney Cousins, Tony Roma, Harley Mays, Chris Collinsworth, Daniel Plainview, Long Legs, or Wilfred Brimley in the firm?

The question is: how is Danny Treo not in this fucking movie?

He must have been filming another movie.

Yeah,

it's so LA crimey.

Like, how is he not in it?

They didn't find anything for him in this anywhere.

Wilfer Brimley in the firm in the Fickner role.

Because there's that whole scene in the firm where he's like showing Tom Cruise the incriminated photos of him, the dossiers.

You know what that's going to mean, Cheetah?

Heartbreak.

I think Wayne Jenkins is the Matt Dylan.

We won't do a Wayne Jenkins impersonation without CR, but Wayne Jenkins in the Matt Dillon role would have been pretty interesting.

You don't want to try?

No.

Okay.

It's, it's, it's.

Do you want to say Shaniqua again?

No.

Okay.

Just one Oscar Oscar who gets it.

I mean, it got three Oscars, but I think in retrospect, I'd probably say Terrence Howard for best supporting actor.

If I had to give an Oscar.

I would say Terrence Howard.

What about Ludacris as a nomination?

That would have been really fun.

It would be really fun for me.

I thought Fast Seven, he got robbed.

Luda on

the award circuit.

Would have been great.

Yeah.

Probably unanswerable questions.

If this movie had a black director, but was the exact same movie, what happens?

They'd have

and a serious rewrite of the screenplay?

I'm saying it's the exact same movie.

Exact same movie.

Every single moment is the same, but the director is black, whatever.

They run him out of town.

I'm telling you, man, it would have been.

Oh, it doesn't get any Oscars.

They'd have run him out of town.

It would have been.

He's just got a...

He or she would have just gotten destroyed from all sides.

Any other unanswerables?

How did this movie beat Broke Back Mountain?

I guess that's not really the question.

I think that part of Broke Back Mountain and where the country was in 2005.

Yeah.

That's it.

And the academy specifically.

Yeah.

And old white dudes who were probably 70 to 80 percent of the vote at this point.

I'll say something about Broback Mountain.

Is

Broback Mountain didn't, Broback Mountain went for it.

When you were in the theater watching Broback Mountain, that actually made me read the short story after.

When you were in the theater watching Broback Mountain, Broback Mountain didn't make that story for consumption with people that would be uncomfortable with any of the, and not even just the sex, the love and the affection between the two men.

Broback Mountain said, either you're ready for it or you're not.

And they weren't quite ready.

It doesn't seem

like we're probably doing it this year for rewatchables.

It doesn't seem as crazy now when you're watching it as it did in 05 that there was a mainstream movie that was going for some of the stuff it was going for.

Now it's like 20 years later, it's like, of course they made this movie.

Well, it was mostly, it's mostly, I think, that like Jylenhall and Ledger weren't, but like Angley wins best director.

It's not, it's not inconceivable that it wins best picture.

I think it was one of the things that I've been doing.

Well, I think that's why everybody was shocked.

I think it was a heavy favorite.

Yeah, no, I mean, it's just like if it's going to lose.

Now, if you're redoing Oscars, it's one of the first ones you redo.

But like, if it's going to lose to anything,

that it loses to crash is what else was nominated that year?

Well, there was Munich was nominated that year.

Yeah, Capote.

Capote.

Capote was the other one.

Yeah.

And then Good Night, Good Luck, which is not a good movie.

So not a incredible

strong.

Yeah, it was a bad movie.

Best picture year, right?

No.

But Brokeback should have won.

It's crazy that he could have win.

What piece of memorability would you want or not want from this movie?

It's probably the Fortified Underwear would be my pick for the not want

game-worn fortified underwear.

No, thank you.

You don't think Tendui Newton kept that?

Probably dumped that one.

Yeah.

The St.

Christopher's statues.

I don't know.

The St.

Christopher's statue.

That's the most notable.

Coach Finnstock award, best life lesson.

Everyone's a racist.

But also,

everyone's not a racist.

You can be racist.

You can be a redeemable racist.

Yeah, everyone is a little bad, but everyone is, we're all like pizza.

How can we be so bad?

How about public transportation?

It's not so bad.

It's better than getting in a car with Ryan Trophy.

Yep.

Good point.

Yeah.

Best double feature choice.

What do you have, Joe?

25th Hour.

Oh, interesting.

Interesting one.

Wow.

You know, that movie has the like hyper-racist rants from all the characters inside of it, but it's like, we did this better.

This is how spiked it, you know.

So.

Grand Canyon.

Come on.

That's a great one.

No, that's honestly, that's the answer.

I was going to say American history, actually.

Greg Canyon is perfect.

Grand Canyon.

Because that's like the previous generation's version of this movie.

The kind of same version.

Uh-oh, we took a wrong turn coming back from the Laker game.

Oh, my God.

That movie's funny, too.

I still fuck with Grand Canyon.

I know, I kind of like it.

I know everybody

finds a baby.

I know everybody hates it, but I still fucked out of finds a baby.

Yeah.

That's amazing.

It's a baby.

I fuck with Grand Canyon.

Who won the movie?

I guess Paul Haggis.

Yeah, Paul Haggis won.

And we all collectively lost, I think, as a culture.

Craig, had you ever seen this movie?

No.

I've never been more.

I had heard about it, certainly.

So you knew.

You were a little prejudiced by what you had heard.

Yeah.

I thought this was like the best movie I've seen in 10 years.

I'm completely lying.

Oh, I was about to say, bro, what the shit?

No, no.

You know that meme that's like, my expectations were low, but holy fuck?

Yeah.

That is how I felt.

I thought this would at least have something I could kind of grab onto.

I thought this was a horrible movie.

What was the worst part of this horrible movie for you?

Honestly, how unsubtle it is and how lack of nuance there is.

Just, I don't know, shocking at 2005.

Maybe that was a terrible time.

You know, it's funny is I do think the movie, if it were to come out now, I kind of think it would still be really successful.

I think this movie would still make a lot of money amongst a certain crowd because it's kind of like if a Facebook post was a movie.

Like there's that kind of Facebook, pseudo-intellectual, like warped sentimental bullshit that I think is.

It didn't even make a lot of money then.

It didn't even make a lot of money then.

It made a million dollars.

No, it made like 100 million on a six month.

I mean, that's crazy.

Yeah, like relative to the budget.

But like,

we used to live in a society where we watched more movies.

But

who, that's true.

Who is watching this movie now?

Everybody's on Facebook.

Craig, the movie would come out and

like we would go ape shit.

It would end careers.

It was like we like people it it like

movies queen and slip like any movie that delves into this that doesn't do it authentically now is is held up in such detest you couldn't make it with any of the big names or anything like that but what was that um what was that movie that came out a couple years ago that religious movie that was that did really well talking about god's not dead no it was about like the trap the like sound of freedom sound of freedom oh

you're talking about like something different though yeah but i think there's like it's like there's a world in which it catches fire in that way because of that.

Wasn't Sound of Freedom, the one that they like astroturfed the theaters, though, that like people weren't actually seeing that.

They were just mass buying tickets to make it seem like people were seeing that.

Also, mass church groups, mega churches

would get their people and take their people to go see the movie after church.

But though, to be honest with you, I might make one of those.

Those movies do well.

I'm being for real.

I might make one of those.

What is your mega church scam movie called, man?

Ooh, that's a good one.

Yeah.

Oh, you know what it is?

He won't be making a Scientology movie.

We've learned that during this pod.

No.

They blacked his face out.

Yeah, bike my face out again.

Mine is going to be about a prosperity preacher,

like a like a black prosperity preacher that preaches kind of like leap of faith.

It's a shadow remake of leap of faith with Steve Martin.

It's about a black prosperity preacher that's actually just trying to get money, but then something happens and he really catches the spirit.

right he really catches the spirit and then is i'm gonna put all of the people in it he david gonna be in my and like we're gonna put all of the people in it and then we're just gonna go church to church to church to church to church running it up

i can't believe every actor

it's called the price of heaven i can't believe every actor read the script and was like yeah

this is an awesome choice for me in my career right now craig i guarantee you They were so thrilled.

I know, I bet.

I think, I really think it's hard to overstate how weird 2005 was.

Well, I could see how in the moment

society.

I could see how, in the moment, if you're an impressionable young person and you go see this movie, like your 10-minute regret thing, I could even see it being like a year-long regret.

I'm surprised Ebert didn't walk it back because he usually does when he has bad takes.

But you can see how in the moment somebody could walk away being like, this felt important.

But just put it in context.

Okay.

So post-9-11, we are dealing with a lot of like 9-11 was almost,

it was the big, it wasn't the beginning of online,

it was the beginning of this really harsh approach to to to discourse where we're like tribalism yeah to where we're like really litigating the the the all the idiosyncrasies between us and all of that stuff like that this movie deals in that then

you have like the bush era where we thought we were divided we weren't even nearly as divided as we are now.

It was actually a movie perfect for its time in a way to look.

I thought 9-11 in some ways brought people a little closer.

It did, but and then Tom Brady and the Patriots started winning Super Bowls, and that brought people closer.

It did, but it, but it gave people a license to say, I feel like it gave people a license to say things that they weren't saying in the 90s.

You know what I mean?

Like, we went through a phase in the 90s, the political PC culture, right?

And then 9/11 happened, and it just sort of let the lid off of a lot of people.

That's happening a little bit again right now, right?

But then also remember that, like, by the time 2005 comes,

we're just beginning to sort of re-examine all of the stuff.

Well, but but the OJ verdict starts it, right?

The way everybody reacted to the OJ verdict was illuminating in a lot of different ways.

And that kind of led toward.

But then by the late 90s, I don't know, it felt like things had.

Oh, we were, you know, why?

Could have kind of moved on.

You know why?

Why?

Because everybody was getting money and we were having fun.

Like 9-11 happened.

And then, and then everybody.

It's like, oh, shit.

Everybody was.

Bill Clinton, party president, party president,

having fun, fucking NSYNC Backstreet Boys.

Everybody was having a good time.

The economy was good.

Everybody was having fun.

And then stuff starts to happen.

And we start to go, okay, we're going to go.

Joe Francis, girls were going wild.

2 a.m.

2 a.m.

We're in South Padre Island, Texas.

Wrestling was the best it's ever been?

Wrestling, the attitude era.

It was fun.

The 90s was

nothing better than the 90s.

The movies were great.

Nothing better.

TV shows were coming up.

The music wasn't.

I love the late 90s, Craig.

I was there kind of internet was starting.

starting internet was just starting it was a great it's good times was the internet a mistake

the what was the internet a mistake

it was inevitable yeah it was inevitable that's what we're saying about ai right now

i thought the uh the cambodian children part i was like all right we've we've gone one step too far we didn't need that that's what broke you i was like what do we even like what are we doing at this point they almost almost all of the fan movie and then there was a

Cambodian children and women in it.

I'm like, all right, Paul, come on here.

Another reason why everybody did it is because of Paul Haggis.

Yeah.

Million dollar baby.

Million dollar baby.

Yeah.

Also, I love that the only character he didn't redeem was the store owner, the Persian guy.

Like, he didn't, like,

no, God saved me from.

I think he had as much of a redemption as Matt Dylan, where they, they're just sort of like Christmas in LA.

But Haggis tried to redeem Matt Dylan, even though it was ridiculous.

Like, he didn't even try to redeem.

What was the redemption for the store off?

They're getting rid of the gun.

Yeah.

And

he's not going to go shoot people in the street.

They tried to kill him.

He thought, God saved him.

He killed a kid, bro.

I don't care.

He did it.

He's guilty.

100%.

That's a charge.

See, that shot is also the two shots they use in the promotion of this, like when you're Googling this movie,

is the Tandy Newton in Matt Dylan's office and then Michael Payne's dream.

Yeah.

Crash coming Friday.

I I would watch Amelia Perez 20 times in a row before I watch Crash again.

Actually, to be honest with you, Amelia Perez is kind of the crash of its day.

Similar similarities.

Except

we took a turn before it won Best Picture.

Here's a question for you.

We sure did.

Watching this movie, did you think you were watching the kind of movie where like the kid is going to die?

I did think the kid was going to die.

Yeah.

Or like, it's a different.

Experience re-watching Crash.

I actually, I hadn't seen it in a long time.

Like, Terrence Howard gets out.

I thought Michael Payne had died in the movie.

That was my memory of it.

Oh, yeah.

There's

a mistake from the movie when you watch it the first time.

Terrence Howard gets out of the car with a gun in the back of his belt.

You're like, something terrible's going to happen.

Yeah, yeah.

The paint scene was nerve-wracking.

I was going to be realizing that.

Craig liked the movie.

No, it's just a minute.

But then you re-watch it knowing the girl's going to be safe, Terrence Howard's going to be safe.

And you're just sort of like, well, it's just Lawrence Tate, and we don't really care.

Like movie one, best picture.

I'm telling you, man, I don't know what movie I'd rather watch than, or I wouldn't rather watch than this.

Like, like The Room, Tommy Wiseau.

I would watch that.

Well, that's just fun.

I would watch anything over this.

Yeah.

Liz came in halfway through and was like, what is going on?

Like, every five minutes is this, like, ridiculously over-the-top racist interaction.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's crash.

That was the rewatchables.

You can watch us every week on Spotify now on video.

Watch us on Ringer movies.

You can see these two in House of R and Midnight Boys.

Midnight Boys.

Yep.

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

And

wait, did you guys say that?

I said beep beep.

And then that's all I'm going to do now.

And that's all.

I thought I repeated it because I didn't realize what he was doing.

It's Pew Pew.

No, no.

But I said BB.

Midnight Boys.

Beep, beep.

It's Pew now.

I don't care.

I did BB.

Why beep beep now?

Beep beep.

Because I did my own personal.

There you go.

Free country.

Midnight Boys.

Beep beep.

Yeah.

Johnny 5.

I'm going to do a little bit of a break.

Yeah, BB.

And higher learning as well.

Yeah.

Thank you, both.

Thank you.