‘Home Alone 2: Lost in New York’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt

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The Rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where normally Kyle Brand is on a Zoom.

And this week, he is here in L.A.

He was here for football stuff.

We realized that we hadn't even been in the same room together looking at each other since like...

2008, February, helmet catch.

The night before the helmet catch at a Super Bowl party.

Is that why the Pats lost?

Exactly why.

Yes.

We drank tequila and talked about the real world.

I just peppered you with real-world questions.

Non-stop.

And from that point on, we've only talked on the phone and Zooms.

And we've done a bunch of pods together.

Yes.

And now you're here.

And now we're talking about what I think is one of the great Christmas movies of all time.

I love this movie, Bill.

I'm ready.

Home Alone 2.

Colon lost in New York is next.

Check in.

Preservation from McAllister.

To the best Christmas movie ever.

Oh, stop that, child!

I don't think so.

Hold it right there.

Get down on your knees and tell me you love me.

I love you.

Home alone too.

Your drawers.

Don't flash these babies around here.

There could be girls on this floor.

Ready, PG.

Now playing at theaters everywhere.

All right, so you send me a list every once in a a while.

I'm like, hey, we got to do rewatchable soon.

Just send me a couple, some 80s, some 90s.

And this was your number one Christmas movie you wanted to do.

Yeah.

Let's have the first discussion.

Let's get it out of the way.

Home Alone is a Christmas movie for you.

It is, yes.

And I know this is a point of contention for you because I listened to the pod.

I watch it at Christmas time.

I don't watch it any other time of year.

So that to me is a Christmas movie.

Does it need Christmas to exist?

No.

It could be a 4th of July movie when they go to Paris for 4th of July or for vacation.

Spring break.

Yeah.

Why not?

Sure.

That's my case.

This Home Alone 2 colon lost the New York Christmas movie.

What's the difference?

Because it needs Christmas.

It really needs Christmas.

It gets New York in Christmas.

It captures New York at the most fun time to go to the city.

It makes me nostalgic.

It makes me want to go to New York for the holidays.

There's a giant tree.

There's an FAO Schwartz, which is doctored as another toy store.

But

no, it's very New York-y, very Christmassy, and it makes me nostalgic.

And I'm in the camp.

I like this movie more than the original.

Is that true?

Because I think that group is growing.

I've seen these people online, and it's almost unprecedented, but I'm starting to ready to come over for it.

Like, get into it.

Why?

I love Home Alone.

You love Home Alone, but the ammunition for the sequel being better is what?

What do you point to?

Because I'm not over there yet.

30 plus years of seeing both.

The effect that it had on my kids as we went through the stages of watching the Home Alones of the Kids.

Home Alone 1 is great, great premise.

Home alone two,

really hard to pull off a sequel where there's no way this situation would ever happen again, which we're talking about.

But it just feels like a better, smarter redo of the first movie, which normally I would be against.

But in this case,

I don't know.

I think I just like it more.

My headline for the movie is, really good sequel.

And like, when do you say that?

Like, when do you say a really good, that's 5% of sequels are really good.

You're watching them 30 years later.

And what's fun about it, and maybe makes it better than the first i love how this movie is so unapologetic like we're doing the same thing dude and we don't care what you think and i know a lot of people like it's the same movie like yep we got a cool kid we got an asshole family we got some idiot criminals and you're gonna pay and you're gonna come see it again and i absolutely love it i think if you're making the case for why is it better the most pivotal part of the sequel, really the only thing they changed up on, the only thing they took a risk on is the whole Tim Curry performance.

Because there's nobody in that first movie.

There's no Tim Curry hotel staff, everything.

I think he's great in the movie.

And I think if you're saying, why is it better, Tim Curry is fantastic here.

Also, he's protecting his house in the first one.

Yes.

In the second one, he's basically American psycho.

He's literally these adults

and just like torturing them for not like five minutes.

It's a 20-minute scene.

So my guy, William Goldman, he wrote a New York magazine essay in 1992 about the holiday season, the movies, where he would ask different people in the industry, what do you think?

What do you hear about this movie?

And

a couple of the anonymous people he asked about Home Alone too.

One of the guys said, sequels have changed.

Used to know rule of thumb that the second one would do a third less, but now look at the diehards and lethal weapons.

Sequels can do more, but they've got to be exactly like the original.

When they go to a sequel, people want comfort.

I think that's a good way to describe it because most of the time this doesn't work.

But if I'm going to a thing like this, I just want them to run home alone back with a different situation.

It feels like when you go to a concert and you're like, Can you just play the hits?

I'm here.

I'm nostalgic.

When the lead singer says, This one's off our new album, ah, I'll go get a beer.

They play the hits here.

This is pop music.

Like, we're not re- This is not the godfather.

This is a little kid who beats the shit out of criminals at Christmas time.

It's great.

They just do it again and they don't try to make a difference.

And I'd love that they didn't.

Two years later.

Yeah.

We're starting.

I'm grabbing a category from later for right now.

The Butcher's Butcher's Girlfriend Award for week link of the film because to buy this movie, doll, you have to buy the premise

that this kid's parents who have already taken off and gone to Paris without him two years ago and left him alone in his house would somehow leave again without finding that he was not with them.

Yes.

And get all the way to baggage in the next airport before they even realized he was gone.

It's a big stretch.

You have to go into this movie

with a mentality.

Are you going to sit here and be like, this would never happen?

This would never happen.

Are you just going to let go?

Like, I can't watch this movie with my wife because she constantly says it would never happen.

And then the same person always says during the scenes at the end with Harry and Marv, they're like, oh, they'd be dead.

Oh, that would have killed them.

My wife says that every time they get hit.

So I'm like, honey, we just enjoyed the pop music.

I know they would never forget him.

It's ludicrous, but I accept that they do.

And I have some theories on it.

Wait, so your wife, so my wife loves this movie, but gets really mad at the mom.

And specifically the scene near the end when she goes to talk to the cop and and she's like i know kevin he's fine it's like your kid's 10 he's in new york city no kevin kevin kevin' kevin he's a survivor yes that's right he's smart he's very independent and you're like you are walking through times square with flyers past crackheads and people like jerking off in the alleys and you're looking for your son kevin's four foot two no he's done he's dead and i and the copy confidence and she's not that sad like my wife when we were in the olympics my wife lost my son for like four minutes in a giant park in London and still talks about it like once a week as being the most terrifying moment of her life.

This mom is just, it's like she lost her luggage and she's just in baggage claim.

Like what do you think?

It's like a big blue suitcase.

It's a Samsonite.

Yeah, can you send it to me?

It is your son or you got lost again and she doesn't have nearly enough to panic.

But you have to let that go or this movie will torment you.

You have to.

Or could they have written in one scene where maybe it's just her and her husband and she's like, I'm the worst worst mom ever.

And she's like, no, you're not, honey.

This, we have so many kids.

Like something to acknowledge what a terrible parent you are.

They just, they don't, they won't have it in this movie.

There's, there's one scene that I think is critical, and it's, it's the parents who are in the police office talking to the Miami cop and they try some gallows humor where they're like, oddly enough, we've never lost our luggage.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

And like, the cop doesn't think it's funny.

Yeah.

I feel like he's reaching for the panic button under the table and he's calling it in.

But that is the only scene where they try to wink at the audience and say, we know this is stupid, but we're going to have Catherine Rehera be charming and try to laugh through it.

But they probably need a little more.

It's insane.

Like the bad version of this movie is Kevin's on a cargo plane headed to South America, never to be seen again, given a new identity.

Yeah.

Kevin's mom, I don't think she takes off without seeing him.

Kevin on the airplane, not seeing anybody that he's related to, even at age 10, I feel like that would make you nervous at some point.

You're on the plane for a while before it takes off.

No screens, no seatback screens.

This guy's going to sit there.

The flight from Chicago to New York is a good two hours.

He has no magazine.

He has no nothing.

And he's like, where?

I'm traveling with nine people.

I don't see any of them.

Yeah.

He's not going to go to the bathroom and look at it.

So now we're getting all worked up again.

Well, no, this is the weak link of the phone.

Yeah.

But then here's the other part that kills me.

They're in Florida and they're checking in.

They don't have Kevin.

They know they don't have Kevin.

And they're like, well,

let's see what our hotel room's like.

Aren't they on a flight back?

Like, somebody's on a flight back to Chicago.

Because last year they were in France.

So like in Florida, like this is nothing.

We were across the Atlantic last year eating shrimp and now it's no big deal.

The one that drives me crazy,

I hate this so much.

The oversleeping gag is so stupid and so pathetic.

Nine people in a house, when they finally wake up, there's...

beaming sunlight into their bedroom.

That's not how people sleep.

It doesn't make any sense.

You're going on an internet flight the next day with all these kids.

You're up every hour looking at the clock.

Right.

And it's like

one alarm clock got unplugged.

There's nine other people in the house.

That drives me crazy too before they even get to the airport.

Yeah, the uncle would have been up at like five in the morning.

Yeah.

Uncle Frank would be having like an Irish coffee probably

and be like, let's go, let's go.

So the beaming sunlight, they just sleep right through it as adults doesn't happen.

With all of that said.

Yes.

And there's more.

You just have to have to shove all that

aside.

I asked you for a list of most unrealistic, I can't believe this happened again movies.

I only had three other than Home Alone 2, but how many did you have?

I had about four.

I had four.

All right.

So we probably both had Die Hard 2.

Have to have Die Hard 2.

He even has.

I can't believe he's in another terrorist situation.

Yeah.

And he winks at the camera.

McClain's like, how's the same shit happened to the same guy twice?

Like, he's saying to the camera, we get it.

So that's, I think that's the clubhouse leader.

What else you got?

Speed 2 cruise control.

Great.

I don't have it.

Great.

On the cruise ship.

Sandra Bullock again.

Sandra Bullock, who in

speed one,

just on a bus, one of the most brutal terrorist attacks of the 90s in la and somehow survives and meets kiana reeves and it seems like we're gonna be together and now this happens again with a different guy on a yacht she's on a bus with a bomb on it and then she's on a yacht with terrorists yeah and it's willem defoe now but jason patrick's there because kiana didn't want to do it that's a great one that might be even better what it what did you have because i have one more good one um there's a scene there there's a scene in jaws 2 where brody is like talking to the town and he's like yeah i'm telling you don't have this boat race like oh brody you're paranoid that's not not gonna happen

and then the job just shows up i have that

i always loved that this is one of my favorite recurring themes in rewatchables the guy who is the hero he saved everybody like nobody believed him the first time and then the situation happens again and people are like get the fuck out of here brody sunshines in the dog's ass brody we get it um i got i wonder all right so this one's good the taken franchise yeah all right that the daughter gets taken yeah and then second one the wife gets taken.

Yeah.

I haven't seen the third, but I think like his dog or his bike and then eventually like his Wi-Fi password gets taken.

Like do you think it's just keep getting taken from him?

That's a terrible one too.

What else you got?

I have the best one.

Weekend at Bernie's 2.

Let's go.

With the voodoo curse.

I love this movie.

Great.

Weekend at Burney's 2 was already pushing it.

No.

Just for how long the guy was dead with like just...

how people decompose.

He'd been dead for a couple of days.

No ring of mortar.

It's going to be a little gamey.

No.

So this is just from Wikipedia.

Weekend at Bernie's 2 tells the story of Larry and Richard once again ending up with their late boss's corpse, which is targeted by a voodoo queen hired by mobsters who want to find the 2 million that Bernie embezzled.

That was the plot.

This movie was reviled.

Like, it was so hated that I actually think it's a rewatchables candidate for 2025.

Weekend at Bernie's 2.

Weekend of Bernie's 2 just skip one.

Have you guys done Bernie?

That would be an unprecedented move to go right to the sequel.

Unbelievable.

It's like four years later, too, where it wasn't even, it wasn't like they were capitalizing on the success.

No.

It's just a pure money grab.

Does it have Silverman and McCarthy in it?

Yeah.

It sure does.

Both shows.

He should have made a documentary about that, how desperate he was to make a sequel.

Yeah.

So, yeah.

I have one other one.

Let's hear it.

I'll pull from the headlines.

The Kansas City Chiefs.

It happened again.

It happens every single time.

They're down late.

They're going to lose.

Oh my God.

This is finally the week they lose.

No, the other team makes a stupid mistake and they win on a last-second field goal.

It happened again, the Chiefs, 2024.

That's a great one.

That's we're recording this the day after they won on a 31-yard field goal that hit the upright and went through, which I feel like when it hits the upright, one in five chance at that point usually bounces back sideways.

No, third string kicker, too.

Um,

I had one more parents' question before we get to Macaulay Colkin.

Yeah, sure.

I can save it actually.

I'll stay in the stage.

Where's Kulkin?

Was stage the best or worst?

Well, where are we going?

Colkin 92.

Yep.

Biggest child star of the 90s.

I'm going to give him that.

Massive.

I'm not saying he's the biggest biggest child star ever,

but I think for the decade, he's the guy.

And Home One One was 90.

Like,

he just got in there.

Yeah.

So definitely massive.

I mean, I feel like Macaulay Culkin sounds ridiculous.

He was an icon.

He really, really mattered.

It was a big deal.

Yeah, because I saw what he made for the movie.

For the sequel, he made 4.5 million.

It's a lot.

Plus 5% of the gross.

That's massive.

And I'm like, that's like one of those late 2010s Brady's contracts.

Yeah.

Where it's like, how come you just don't have half of the salary cap of the Patriots?

You're the entire team.

Culkin, like, you could have told me he got $100 million for the movie.

I'd be like, ah, probably still got short change.

Who's going to see Home Alone 2 if he's not in it?

We found out with Home Alone 3 and Beyond when he wasn't.

No, total leverage.

I don't know if the information is out there.

I wonder what Pesci made on the movie because Pesci was huge at the time.

And I wonder if he made more because you can make the movie without Pesci, but you can't make it without Mac.

He's the only one you have to have.

Yeah.

Some weird research stuff with this.

Like, I think it was becoming sad with Culkin.

He was so big.

By age eight, Home Alone is one of the biggest kids' movies of all time, if not maybe the biggest non-animated kids movie we had.

An unbelievable box office phenomenon.

Number one for weeks and weeks and weeks.

Hosting SNL.

It's like, what's next for him?

The Michael Jackson piece was huge.

He's in Michael Jackson's videos.

He's having sleepovers, literally.

Like Michael Jackson's the biggest star in the world.

He's hanging out with this kid.

Culkin was massive.

He does My Girl, and he dies at the end, spoiler alert.

And it's like,

you guys killed Macaulay Culkin in a movie.

How do you do that?

After Home Alone 2, he does The Good Son, which is one of the five best movies of the 1990s.

Pulp Fiction 1, Good Sun 2, Shaw Shankar.

Good fellas.

I took in some Good Sun this week.

I've had some time.

I'm here in L.A.

without my family.

I cannot.

believe the end of that movie.

I'd seen it, but in years, I can't believe what happens.

I can't believe that.

That clip scene is crazy.

It's crazy.

That woman, she drops him.

What?

It's been on the rewatchables list for four years.

Good son?

Oh, yeah.

But what's funny about the good son, where he plays like basically Damien Omen.

He's like an evil kid.

Like, there's something wrong with him.

Yeah.

I'm not positive he's any different in Home Alone 2.

Go on.

It's the same performance.

He's just, nobody's, he's not actually trying to kill somebody.

Although you could argue if you're just dropping bricks on somebody's head from three stories and creating this deviant

psycho booby trap pit of hell for these two bumpling guys.

Maybe that was as bad.

I don't know.

Well, the joke is, you know, he's he's jigsaw and he's just, he's completely fucked up psychologically and likes torturing and hunting those men.

Yeah.

That's another reason like why they couldn't do another one with with Marvin, Harry, and Macaulay.

Like, what would the torture have been in the third movie?

There was no place to go.

It was already the sadistic sick destruction.

Like he can't, hey, guys, I'm going to cut your dicks off.

Are you ready?

Like, there was, there was nowhere to go with the abuse that they were taking.

No, it really would have been just Saw.

Saw one.

Yeah.

He's just the guy putting them in a cellar together where they have to saw something off to Sergeant.

Want to play a game, guys?

On my tricycle.

Here's barbed wire.

Like, I don't want to see that.

Was Home Alone 2 worse than Saw or was it about the same?

Would you have them together?

Carrie always saws his leg off at the end, so it was pretty tough.

But Stern on that electrical faucet thing until he's a skeleton was rough, too.

They really pushed it.

They really did.

But I like it still.

I don't care if you don't.

Somebody else.

Stern's memory of...

Stern wrote a book.

Did you know this?

Called Home and Away.

I don't know that Daniel Stern.

Home and Alone, something like that.

He wrote an autobiography like two years ago, and

he had some Kulkin stuff in it.

Is that true?

He was a sweet kid, but had lived a very different life than my kids.

He didn't know how to play tag or throw the ball around.

Tag's a very easy game to learn.

Yeah.

You just touch the person and they're it.

That's the, well, the fact that he put that in the book made me think, like, did this, was this kid just in a trailer from age four?

Yes.

Never playing with anyone other than michael jackson um then he wrote we realized he had formed a friendship with michael jackson because when we picked him up his hotel room was stacked literally from wall to wall and ceiling to floor with toys

every conceivable toy is if someone went through toys arrest took one of each and dropped them in his room all gifts from michael jackson it made us all feel really bad for mac yeah my kids had experienced a taste of the distortions fame can bring but seeing what mac's life was like put things in a different perspective i'm cringing as you read that it's pretty tough it makes me uncomfortable this was before we were kind kind of self-aware about a child actor star, like putting in checks and balances.

Yeah.

Because you could see this going sideways.

The weird thing is he dates Milakunis in his late teens and they dated for like five years.

Yeah.

And it seems like there could have been a good actor, like adulthood thing for him, but instead his brother took it.

Yeah.

Kieran, who's in this movie.

Yeah.

And you were thinking the onset stuff.

It's like, your little brother's there.

That's your buddy.

You're not a buddy with Jacko.

Like, your buddies with Kieran.

You're going to go do your homework together and play with toys.

Look, Macaulay has spent the last 15 years swearing to anyone who listened that nothing weird happened with Michael Jackson.

He says it over and over again.

He's like, Yeah, we had sleepovers and stuff, but nothing happened.

Nothing happened.

And he said it in a million platforms.

So I don't know.

Maybe nothing did.

But

I mean, aren't they?

Aren't Pesci and Stern when he's Michael Jackson has shown up to visit the kid and giving him toys and stuff?

Isn't Chris Columbus like what the fuck is Michael Jackson doing here?

It's weird.

I'm triggered by it completely, but maybe it's because it's 30 years later.

Yeah, I just, we're both parents.

I just the concept of an adult coming over to hang out with your nine-year-old son would just raise my flag right away.

It's unbelievable.

My son's nine.

I barely want to hang out with him.

No, we want to play.

We want to play terror play.

Except a water balloon fell sleepover.

Like, what?

I'm nine too.

No, you're not, Michael.

Yeah, you're definitely not.

You're a drug.

Macaulay is also the godparents of Michael's kids.

Like, I read that.

So there's all sorts of connective stuff there.

But Macaulay, look, Macaulay's married with kids right now.

Like, I think he's doing that.

It always turned out better for him because when, you know, I'm slightly older than you, but my generation watching these TV child actors, which was always going bad.

And I think now that we're in the 21st century with like the young Sheldon type guys,

it feels like it's a little better.

There's more awareness of

playing it safer with some of these people.

Well, look at Chris Columbus.

Okay.

So he says I would have done some things different with Macaulay.

Next decade later, he starts directing the Harry Potter movies.

So he's got these three little kids that he's basically going to raise.

And he talked really effusively about I did things different.

I learned some lessons.

And like, I think it has changed a lot because, you know, when I was a little kid, it was like the different strokes cast and it was just like a disaster from start to finish.

But I think, listen, this just recently Macaulay went viral for posting like a Joe Burrow picture because people say Joe Burrow looks like him.

It's like that was showing like humor and like it was good to see him.

I think he's doing okay, considering what he's gone through.

I can't imagine being that famous when you're like eight years old.

No.

How to even process that when your brain can't process anything and you have no idea who you are at that point.

Pretty strange.

Very strange.

There was this Sessanelle sketch I remember in the early 90s when Susan Day hosted, I think it was Susan Day, where it was all the child actor criminals and they were all getting together

to plan some heist and there was an undercover cop and it was

Bona Ducci and all that.

But that was the mentality in the early 90s when Home Alone was happening.

And I think everybody who saw these movies doing well was like, oh man, this guy in 10 years, it's going to be a disaster.

You just were so used to it going badly.

It seems like it's going okay for him.

The contrast too, is that his co-star and the good son, Elijah Wood, is looked at as like the gold standard of a child star who grew up and it seems to completely have his act together.

He's been very successful.

So I think Macaulay got crapped on a lot because there was some dicey stuff and he's talked about abuse and all that with his parents.

And it's just not good, but I think he's doing all right.

I'm happy for the guy.

Like we all grew up Macaulay in one way or another.

Like if something bad were to happen to him, I'd be crestfallen.

I think he's doing all right.

I think I got off the train with Getting Even with Dad, with Ted Danson.

I never saw that movie.

I'm aware of it.

Done.

Is it just bad?

Richie Rich for me.

Great supporting cast in this movie that includes Joe Pesci, who is having a fucking heater in 1992.

He's dropping my cousin Vinny, Home Alone 2, and Lethal Weapon 2 all in one year.

That's a year.

And that's like action, kids, comedy.

That's about as good as, and coming off Goodfellas.

That's almost like...

I can't even think of anybody who had four different types of movies like that in a two-year span.

No, I mean, everybody looks at Carrie's 94.

He did Dumb and Dumber.

He did The Mask, and he did,

I don't know what the other one was, but he's like three bangers in 94.

And, but the pesci diversity, where he's in basically a kid's movie, yeah, and then he's Tommy, like stabbing Billy Blank's death.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's, he did it all.

He was, I mean, you can, he was the top five movie star in the world at the time when he made this movie, and he's running around chasing after Kevin.

It's nuts.

It's also funny to watch this thinking of him as Tommy and Goodfellas as he's reacting to some of the situations.

Bing!

Bang!

And then Daniel Stern, who is in both City Slickers and the two Home Alone movies and is like kind of shockingly good in this movie.

He's fantastic.

Really over-the-top funny, like not overacting.

Just really good.

The recasting for that part is he has Michael Richards' energy, like the physical comedy and the execution.

He's basically Kramer, and he's really, really good.

Before Kramer was massive, he's great in that part.

Tim Curry, you mentioned.

Excellent.

John Hurd, Catherine O'Hara, and then Rob Schneider.

It's the bellhop.

Pretty solid cast.

Yes.

Do you think Rob Schneider wanted to work at the plaza just because he heard Donald Trump owned it?

And he just wanted to be close to him.

He didn't know that yet.

He knew this is going to pay off for

30 years later.

He's really good in this movie.

Strong cast.

And also, one of the big things with this movie,

one of the biggest and best New York City movies.

There's been a million movies filmed in New York City.

I don't know if there's a lot of movies that use all of the city the way this one does.

It plays all the hits.

We're in all the different parts.

You even get to see the World Trade, the original World Trade Center a couple of times, and you get to see the Plaza, which I think is probably one of the most iconic New York hotels, Central Park.

We just go, we move around the city

during the holiday season in a way that...

I don't know how many movies have done it.

No, he's uptown in the Brownstone too for the final acts, Times Square, all that stuff.

It's a great, great Manhattan movie, and it makes you want to go there on Christmas and stand in front of the Christmas tree.

Totally.

And they know what they're doing there.

Like that stuff is contagious.

I love this as a New York movie.

Early 2009, my daughter was like between three and a half and four.

We went to New York City for the weekend because she loved the Home Alone movies.

And we went, we stayed at the Plaza Hotel and we went to the toy store and we, it just felt like this is something we should do, right?

This is now the movie's coming to life.

But the Plaza, which was always like a pretty famous New York kind of destination place but I think this these this movie really hammered it home in a different way like I to me it's the home alone 2 hotel now yeah and listen we do the the the Benny Hanna award like it's the plaza like the scene stealing location yeah and they really shot it there that not only the lobby that actual suite is shot and that's not a set that's really in the plaza um there's one spoiler my because my wife and I stayed there once too and we were talking about we'd seen home alone two a bunch of times and we're like hey where's the pool and they're like oh there's no pool here.

That's not, that wasn't in the plaza.

That's in Chicago.

So the plaza does not have a pool.

That's the whole thing being bullshit.

But we were ready for the pool.

No pool.

Jesus.

Yeah.

Directed by Chris Columbus, written by John Hughes.

Yep.

Still on an all-time heater.

$28 million budget, made $359 million.

The third highest grossing film released in 1992 behind two movies.

Can you name them?

I think I know one.

Okay.

I think one of them was Aladdin.

Yes.

With Robin Williams.

And

I don't know what the other one was, but I think it came out like maybe the same weekend or right next to it.

What is it?

The bodyguard.

Oh, massive.

Massive banger.

Coster and Whitney.

Massive.

They beat Kevin McAllister.

Man, Coster Whitney.

Costner and Whitney, Kevin McAllister, and Aladdin.

That was our big four for Squad.

Roger Ebert.

Two stars.

Unoriginal.

I get it.

Unoriginal.

It's fine.

I respect it.

I think he got upset about the violence.

People did.

Cartoon violence is only funny in cartoons.

Most of the live-action attempts to duplicate animation have failed because when flesh and blood figures hit the pavement, we can almost hear the bones crunch and it isn't funny.

Hard disagree, Raj.

You ever seen somebody get stapled in the nuts, Raj?

It's hilarious.

That doesn't have to be a cartoon.

It's funny.

Which totally violent excessive part wasn't funny, Raj.

I like them all.

Let's go one by one.

You got the copy box?

I do have it later.

Let's go.

Today's most rewatchable scene brought to you by Paramount Plus.

This holiday season, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to watch every Mission Impossible on Paramount Plus.

I was actually watching some Mission Impossible this weekend.

Cruise just looks so young.

I know.

He looks like

almost like Top Gun Cruise.

Like, you forget how long.

This is like a three-decade franchise now.

Catch up on the greatest action franchise of all time, starring the one, the only Tom Cruise now streaming on Paramount Plus.

Most rewatchable scene.

I was going to start with the family losing Kevin,

the whole thing where he gets separated and then they lose him in the airport and they realize he's not there, culminating in the Kevin!

Kevin's not here, Kevin's not here.

Kevin's not here.

Kevin's not here.

Kevin's not here.

Kevin's not here.

What?

Is there anything you would have before that?

No, I I mean, unless we did the final act, the saw movie,

like as

the are you talking chronologically?

I'm just saying before that scene.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, that's that's where it gets cooking because I actually really, really hate the scene at the children's concert where Buzz like bullies him.

It makes no sense.

All the parents start laughing at the little kid.

I had that in one stage the worst.

Nobody would ever laugh at kids at a concert, ever.

Why did they think that scene made sense?

What he's doing to him isn't even funny.

It's an easy cut.

It's insane.

Terrible.

Yeah.

But no, that's the first one.

Kevin's first minutes in uh, first few minutes in New York City

when he buys fireworks in Chinatown.

Awesome.

This is like you're just preaching to the choir for the age range of four to ten.

It's probably when the I wrote down, it's the little kid equivalent of going to a strip joint.

It's true, just being like, Yeah, I'm gonna go buy some fireworks, and then I'm gonna set them off.

It's the last vestige before it gets sexualized, right?

Because after a little older, you're gonna buy a Playboy, yeah, and then like a penthouse, and then a hustler, and then just go to a strip joint.

So he buys fireworks, fireworks.

I'm going to set them off and they're going to make noise.

Fucking awesome.

Kevin gets a free limo and pizza and coke for NYC limo red.

Limo's got a TV bill.

I mean, that blows your mind in that back then.

There's a lot of jealousy if you're a kid.

And of course, I saw this as an adult, so I don't even know why I would totally know this, but you're just living vicariously through all these things.

I'd be like, that would be amazing if you're nine years old.

It was like when we used to watch Silver Spoons, or if you watched Richie Rich, like, this guy has awesome stuff.

It was the same deal.

Pizza, limo, like Kevin was just killing it.

Like, picture me rolling.

Like, he was a total badass.

Silver Spoons.

Yeah.

I talked to, I had Bateman on the podcast once, was really talking about it because he was Schroeder's buddy in that show.

Yeah.

And I think he thought I was being like semi-ironic.

And I was like, no, I genuinely love Silver Spoons.

I think he was surprised.

I know you're definitely sincere.

And then he was in that, what was it called?

That itch Your Move?

Bateman for one year.

Oh, that's a show?

I know he was in the the valley the hogan spun him off from silver spoons into it your move same character it was basically

young bateman he's this the son of a divorced like it's a mom it's just him and his mom single mom great and there's some neighbor that likes her and the whole show is just him trying to foil the neighbor it was a terrible idea for sitcom i loved it i watched every episode the neighbor has to be ted mcginley right i don't know who i can't it was I can't remember who it was, but it was somebody like...

What was it, Paulian?

It's Your Move.

Did you you talk to Bateman about It's Your Move?

He was just stunned that I remembered it and loved it.

But I really did.

I always liked him as a kid actor.

And then it eventually led to the Hogan family, which I did not watch.

Because I've heard that Bateman is not real interested in talking about Teen Wolf 2.

Like it's not his favorite topic.

No.

No.

But I mean, it's not a good movie.

Who cares?

It's not.

Maybe as he gets older.

I would think so.

Yeah.

I don't know if there's been a lot of smartless episodes about it.

Next episode.

Our next

scene.

Kevin gets chased by the wet bandits,

pulls the pearls on the sidewalk trick.

By the sticky bandits.

Oh, they're now the sticky bandits, my bad.

Rebranded.

The pearls.

The old pearls on the sidewalk.

And then

fends off everybody at the hotel with the videotape, which he's just the best at.

Terribly sorry, sir, but I'm afraid you're mistaken.

We are looking for a young man.

All right.

I believe you.

But my Tommy can don't.

Get down on your knees and tell me you love me

on your knees.

Like nobody, has any sports analyst worked the telestrator better than Kev McAllister works the videotape?

Mike Fotello was great.

He was the czar of the telestrator.

True.

Mike Fotello.

Pause, pause, perfect lines, able to fast forward over other dialogue.

The fact that he, there was always, listen, if you've never had a remote control on the VHS tape or whatever it was, there's always this weird lag.

It's like trying to pump like $10 perfectly of gasoline.

It's very hard to hit.

Never happened.

Nails.

Just crushing it.

Also, a hotel VCR.

No, come on.

There's no way.

No.

Next rewatchable scene.

I have

Wisdom from the Pigeon Lady, which I then wrote in parentheses, one of the worst scenes of the 1990s.

I wasn't always like this, you know.

Oh, what were you like before?

I had a job.

I had a home.

I had a family.

Did you have any kids?

No.

Oh, I wanted them.

But the man I loved fell out of love with me.

That broke my heart.

And whenever the chance to be loved came along again,

I ran away from it.

This scene.

Go on.

From a re-watchable movie standpoint is mesmerizing.

Where he's like a 10-year-old kid.

He's lost.

He doesn't know where his parents are.

Here's crazy pigeon lady covered in pigeon shit.

And she just has a heart to heart with him.

And she's like, I had a man and he left me.

My heart was broken.

When your heart's broken, sometimes you land here.

And it's like, you're insane.

Why are you talking to a little kid about this?

I love it.

I have it written down.

First Ballot Hall of Fame P-break scene.

I would much rather watch Ron Vergany play the flute than listen to the shit covered old woman in Carnegie Hall.

So she got her heart broken.

There's a lot of takes about that in what we have, like weeklink of the movie, like all of that.

I don't understand anything that's going on there.

And listen, is she teaching him about the holiday spirit deep down?

Is that what they're going for?

I'm trying to understand like what they're going for with Pigeon Lady.

This is what they're going for.

Hughes always has to have heart.

You can't just have fun all the time.

Like in the breakfast club, we're going to get high and cry about our parents.

It's not just all fun.

My problem with it, though, is this movie already has that component with the old man at the toy store and him saving the kids money that's going to the hospital.

He waves it to the sick sick kid.

There's already a lot of heart.

Yeah, we already have Roy Wally.

Right.

We got Roy Wally.

We have the wistful scenes with his mom.

I don't know what the bird lady is doing here.

And they, yes, she resolves the sticky banners at the end.

They could have come up with something else for that.

That scene is unbelievably boring and so long.

She's still talking about her love and her heart get broken.

Like, I have a million questions about that scene.

What?

Carnegie Hall does not let vagrants just go up in an attic and chill.

What is that?

She has a studio apartment at Carnegie Hall.

And we got harps and pianos and lean over watch the concert kevin i get to see the finest music ever are you paying them that it is the most renowned concert venue in the united states and this homeless woman literally covered in

gets to come and go how she wants and bring kids yeah what's she doing up there with that kid it does it makes me so angry at that scene it's terrible from start to finish terrible it would be like if it was a sports movie and and she's just like climbing in a lambo yeah with somebody like hey it's 70 night football tonight they let me stay up by the head of the light

yeah so you can come on.

Come on with me.

I'm in the owner's suite, covered in shit.

And they're just like, it's fine.

That's just the bird that makes no sense at all.

Terrible scene.

I have it as rewatchable because it's so bad.

I watch it trying to figure out what's actually happening and why they thought this is a good idea and why they didn't edit it.

Next one.

Kevin sets up all his traps.

That whole, the setting up montage scene where he's basically like, this is going to be American.

He's Patrick Bateman in 15 years.

He's going to absolutely kill people, carve them up in a bathtub.

Yeah.

And paint in their blood.

Yeah.

And put them away.

It has the great energy because it's like the suit-up scenes that we like and something like Commando, where people's just strapping on weapons.

And I got rocket launchers and guns and grenades.

And Kevin's just getting ready to kick the shit out of these two idiots.

He's got nail guns.

Yeah.

Roger even doesn't like that.

It's awesome.

Kevin annihilates the two crooks for 15 solid minutes, which includes he drops four bricks on them from a three-story height.

Nail gun through the door multiple times, including right in Daniel Stern's face.

Almost takes out his eye.

Slippery goo in the ladder, so Pesci falls 20 feet.

Bag of plumber tools falls on Pesci's head.

Slippery goo on the fall floor.

So Stern falls backwards.

Electrocutes the sink, which I think is just a murder.

Yes.

I don't think Stern survives that under any circumstance.

Like he's dead.

Dead.

Corpse.

Sets Pesci's head on fire.

And then he goes to put it out in the toilet and the toilet explodes.

Another murder.

I I think they're both dead at that point.

I think the toilet is like filled with kerosene or something.

And his face is in it.

So he'd be at least like wildly disfigured.

He's at least like a paraplegic.

Yes.

See, now we're doing the thing that my wife does.

He'd be dead.

He'd be dead.

But this is what you do with this.

They're both dead at this point.

He hits Barv with a 100-pound bag of sand from distance.

Hits both of them with that giant metal.

I don't know.

Is it a metal stick?

Whatever that thing is.

I think that'd be like lead pipe thing that comes down.

Yes.

Yes.

That one's.

It's coming down.

Yeah.

That one you're not waking up from.

Hits them with the giant tool chest that presses them against the wall.

Kerosene rope trick that he sets on fire

and they fall, I don't know, 40 feet, and then 25 to 30 pink cans laying on top of them.

And then he taunts them with stuff like nice night for a neck injury.

He's basically Vantes Berfick.

Just true.

Just taking up wide receivers.

Antonio Brown over the middle, the crown of the helmet, a brutal moment.

My question to you about that whole compu box you did.

Do you have a favorite one of those that, like, when you're watching, you're like, oh, fuck yes.

Like, what's your favorite?

I do.

I really like the kerosene rope trick.

I just like how they set it up.

It's like, what's that smell?

The guys are so.

Was that aftershave?

Yeah.

And then it puts you in a what-do-you-do mode.

Nothing.

You wearing aftershave?

That's not aftershave.

That's kerosene.

And rope is soaked in it.

Now, why would anybody soak a rope in kerosene?

Merry Christmas.

Go up.

You just drop.

Go up.

Go up.

And it starts saying go up, and they can't get up the rope.

What is your favorite?

I think it's that lead pipe thing that hits both of them.

He fakes them out with the swinging pants.

And Harry and Marv think they're smart.

It hits both of them, and then they fall down through the hole in the floor all the way to the basement.

And then he cuts it and it lands on him like Macho Man off the top rope, like a finisher move.

Yeah.

That's the one where I laugh out loud.

That lead pipe thing, whatever it is.

Last one I had was the mom realizing she knows where Kevin is.

And I wrote down, she's reprehensibly calm.

No wonder he's a psycho.

She goes to see him.

No embrace.

They're kind of like, oh,

I knew I'd find you.

Yeah, here I am.

It's like, I don't know.

Merry Christmas, mom.

Merry Christmas, sweetheart.

Thank you.

Let's go.

How'd you know I was here?

Well, I know you own Christmas trees, and this is the biggest one around.

Where's everybody else?

They're at the hotel.

They didn't like palm trees either.

My wife would have been way more excited to see her son that she'd been separated from by multiple states

and was passing flyers out.

Yeah.

I have some thoughts on this later, and I think there's a reason that Kevin is not excited to see her.

Oh, that's great.

Oh, great.

I can't wait.

So, what's your most rewatchable scene?

it gave me the chaos it gave me the chaos in the apartments the destruction that's what that's how they marketed this movie too they sold it like kevin's gonna beat him up some more come on folks and it worked today's the most rewatchable scene brought to you by paramount plus this holiday season make it your mission to watch every mission impossible on paramount plus every dangerous secret every heart pounding chase every impossible jaw dropping stunt now streaming on paramount plus okay

what's the most 1992 thing about this movie okay you got some?

Clock radios.

Great.

Paper boarding passes that could, if you knock the

flight attendant over, it would cause mass chaos and you could get it on plane.

That's not happening anymore.

And Harry rips up Kevin's paper ticket and Kevin's like, oh my God, how am I going to be on the flight?

My ticket's ripped off.

Now we have putting your iPhone to check in and they're going, you got to turn your light up higher.

It's not, no, you got to just push it while seven people are pissed off.

I hate putting my phone on that thing because then I'm going to put it next to my face.

Yeah.

It's sick.

You got to put it closer.

I don't want to.

Yeah.

I don't want to.

Do you mind?

I don't want to touch.

We, most 1992 things about this movie, the original World Trade Center,

which apparently they cut out of the movie for like 15 years on the rebroad.

I can't believe.

And then by 2018, they were like, what are we doing?

I was very surprised they did that.

It's sobering.

It's the fact that he's up there and it's like this symbol of New York.

Yeah.

And the thing is, but I like it now because that was such a big part of the city.

I don't like like a racing history.

1992, that was one of the biggest landmarks the city had, and it should be in the movie.

I also have it for Great Shot Gordo coming up.

They do this incredible, I guess it's a helicopter.

So I didn't have drones back then.

Right.

Kevin, and they pull back, like, wow, look how cool New York is.

Yeah.

It's an awesome moment.

It really is.

1992, a benevolent Trump cameo.

Yeah, that's that's a good call.

Rob Schneider is a hotel bellhop.

Although maybe things would circle around where in 2024, he might be playing the Hotel Bellhop again.

Or he might be an actual Hotel Bellhop.

Or that too.

Kev, the Kevmeister.

That was him.

He tipped his ass.

Cookies.

Give her the Fruit Stripe.

They made a whole career out of that.

I had that one too, tipping somebody with a Fruit Stripe.

Do they still make Fruit Stripe?

I think they do.

I think they do.

I haven't seen it.

It's a giraffe logo.

My take on Fruit Stripe, and I don't think they're a sponsor.

Fastest flavor-losing gum on the market.

You get like nine shoes and it's gone.

Is Fruit Stripe still with us?

I hope.

I grew up with it.

One of the searches is Fruit Stripe Discontinued question mark.

Oh, yeah.

I don't think it's gum about the brand.

I think it's somebody because of this movie.

Well, the winner for 1992 thing, unless you have any more you want to throw.

I'll submit one.

Okay.

When Kevin's rolling in the limo and he's eating the pizza, he is drinking a Coca-Cola Classic

with the classic stamp on.

Oh, man.

I like Coca-Cola Classic.

It's great.

So they changed the formula to compete with Pepsi.

And then people are like, what the fuck?

This new formula sucks.

Well, we'll give you Coca-Cola Classic, which is the old formula.

To the young people, that must be nuts.

But they used to have a can of Coke and it would say Classic on it.

It just, it just brought me back watching it.

Honestly, it would be like if we just completely changed the rewatchables and had different categories and it was just a completely different podcast.

People are like, what the fuck?

Yeah, bring back Rewatchables Classic.

Rewatchables Classic is here now.

With the old categories.

Remember when the NBA changed the ball for like five minutes?

Right.

Everybody got so mad.

What is this?

And Shaq was so pissed.

He's like, this ball's terrible.

Yeah.

And then they went to Spalding Classic and they brought it back and they haven't changed it since.

Well, the winner of this category is the Talk Boy.

Yeah.

Let's talk about the Talk Boy.

Yeah.

This is perfect.

So it was designed as a prop for the film by Tiger Electronics with an eye on the 1992 holiday season.

And boy, did it work because it was the best-selling toy of 1992, The Talk Boy.

Banger.

It's basically a tape recorder.

Yeah, I think it's just like having like a reporter's tape recorder, recorder, but it has that little kind of protrusion on it, which I think maybe gets some distance or something.

I know this.

Here's another 1992 thing.

They also decided to sell a pink and orange colored talk girl because they were selling it to it was the talk boy.

Come on.

And the talk girl, it's a real thing.

And that's how they used to do it back then.

It was like, oh, the girls' toys, the boys' toys.

There was a talk girl.

How about that?

Don't remember talk girl.

It was.

I had sisters.

Well, they also had video games based on Home Alone 2 made by Sega Genesis, Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Game Boy, and personal computers.

That was a runner-up for most 1992 thing about the movie.

That was kind of the big quartet along with computers.

It's a ton of video games.

There's a guy out there called the Angry Video Game Nerd who plays old video games online, and he got Macaulay to show up and play Home Alone games with him like a couple years ago.

Really?

And it's a game alone game.

I definitely did not play that one.

It was one of those games that.

He was just in New York, like trying to drop stuff on people.

No, I remember mostly he was in the house from the first movie, and it's just awful.

It looks nothing like the movie it's just they're not even trying to make a game they're just putting kevin mcalister's face and sell it like i got suckered into buying so many of those bad video game movies there's awful yeah the rambo video game was terrible the friday the 13th game is legendarily bad e.t is iconic like they usually suck if they're you know how they say they can't make video game movies like it's hard to make they can't make movie video games either it says it goes both ways i can't think of any good ones I don't know.

I mean, there's, listen, we go deep.

I'm just saying from 80s, 90s, I can't remember anyone based on a movie or a TV show that I was super excited to play.

The best one that was based on something was the WWF game with when you were a tag team.

I don't know if you ever played that one.

I played all of those.

The tag team was like Big Boss Man, and you can team them up with Andre the Giant.

Those were amazing.

But your point, like, do you ever remember me like, oh, I love this Predator home video game or this Terminator home video game?

Arcade games, sure, some of them, but they didn't really do it that much until they got things like Aladdin and Lion King, but those are like Disney products.

The 48 Hours video game would have been great where Jack Cates was just saying inappropriate racial comments to Reggie Hammond.

So good.

And then Reggie Hammond would punch him.

What's age the best?

The Plaza Hotel.

Fantastic.

Huge, basically an advertisement for how cool the Plaza Hotel is.

And I don't even know.

I haven't stayed there since I went with my daughter.

I have no idea where it stands in 2024.

We were probably five years ago.

It's classy, super classy.

That's the thing.

And it's like the kind of place you have tea on the first floor and there's there's like five, seven-year-old aunts having tea, and somebody's putting a little nip in one of them.

Yeah, definitely.

A little flask.

Growing up in Chicago, I looked at Plaza as the plaza as the symbol of wealth in New York City.

I also looked at Transportation.

Where is it in Chicago?

No, I mean, I would.

No, but where's the Plaza in Chicago?

Is it?

No, there isn't one.

It's just like I...

When I would look at New York, I'd be like, wow, the plaza is what New York wealth is all about from my Chicago.

But I thought you said they had the pool and the.

So it's the pool.

I think it's in like a four seasons or something.

No, it's not even a plaza.

No.

So there's only one plaza in New York.

That's it.

That's the one.

That also makes it special.

Well, the one, what's the one in Chicago that you have, the old school hotel?

There's a couple of them.

Now we're side.

Now we're sideways.

Now we're just deep into Chicago.

There's that one.

It's like that old one near where MJ used to live.

I'm blanking on it.

I don't know what it is either.

I think my city is.

Oh, the Drake.

The Drake.

Yeah, the Drake Hotel.

The Drake is the plaza for Chicago.

They referenced the Drake Hotel in Mission Impossible 1.

We were just talking about that movie.

What stage is the best?

F.A.O.

Schwartz is Duncan's toy chest.

They just basically flipped it over.

I have a bunch.

Give me your best before.

Quick ones.

I love that just everybody's back for the sequel.

That ages well.

Yeah.

There's not.

They only change one sibling.

One of the, one of the things that's a good one.

That's one of the ones you don't give a shit about.

Yeah.

But there's not a George McFly recast in Back to the Future 2 where like we couldn't get Crispin or we couldn't get Uncle Frank even.

Like everyone's there.

I like that in a sequel.

It's full set.

The dad's not different.

No, it's our same dad, same everybody.

And that's just like the same movie, dude.

It works.

I think that's a big part of it, it, too.

Yeah.

What else you got?

The fear of losing your kid in an airport.

It's funny to watch this when you're younger.

I think even through your mid-20s, before you have kids, you kind of still watch movies from the kids' perspective, even though you're grown up.

But then when you become a parent, you watch it from the parents' perspective.

And to hustle through an airport being late for a flight with eight family members, it would be like my idea of hell.

I'd be so nervous.

We're going to not have a bag.

Somebody like you're just scrambling around.

So I'm not defending the McAllisters because they lost Kevin twice in a three-year span, but I'm just saying I understand it.

You're so afraid of it, you would never do it.

You would never get there late.

You would never be running because you'd be there four hours or early.

Yeah, when my kid is looking through snacks at the Hudson News in the airport and I can't see him for a second, I start to panic.

Right.

It's the protective instances kick in.

Like, everyone's an asshole at the airport.

Everyone's in a hurry.

They don't care.

You don't lose your kid in the airport.

If you do, terrified.

Tim Curry, the perfect creepy hotel boss.

That blend of him from the grin shot into Tim Curry's smile.

What's your relationship with Tim Curry?

Like, like, what's your favorite thing?

It always has made me uneasy.

I've never liked him.

Yeah.

That's what, that's his deal.

So, like, I'm a big Clue guy.

Like, he's awesome in Clue.

Legend with Tom Cruise, he plays the villain.

Like, I love all of that stuff.

So, and I, I think he is so good in this movie.

And if Tim Curry doesn't work in this movie, he loses your interest.

Using the talk boy talking in slow motion to get a hotel room, just ingenious by Kevin.

So,

the phone call,

this is Mr.

McAllister.

Credit cards.

You got it.

The lady's like, is this Mr.

James Gum checking into the hotel?

Do you have a room for a great big fat person?

By the way, the lady who's taking that reservation is Chris Columbus's wife.

Pretty cool.

That hotel.

Oh, interesting.

She's in the movie.

Pretty cool.

How about Kieran Culcutt as a little brother?

Let's do it.

I mean, definitely.

I think he's top of the list age.

Just waiting for him to drop Roman lines.

Yeah.

He's now, he used to be the guy who pissed the bed.

Now he's sending dick pics to mature women across the Waistau Royko conference table.

The best scene in that series by far.

Sends it to his dad instead, mistakenly.

It's so funny to see him as a little kid and think he's going to go on to Fuller.

One of the most depraved characters in the history of HBO.

Yeah.

It's like Roman Rain out of BC.

Fuller, easy on the Pepsi.

Fuller, easy on the dick pics.

I love Fuller.

Two more.

No CGI for the pigeon attack.

They actually use pigeons.

Great stuff.

Now they would just like fake it.

John Williams is the score.

Great stuff.

And I mean, Williams, how about this?

He just casually does this, and then he's just right on a Jurassic Park next project.

Like, what a legend.

What a woman.

They're like, hey, John Williams, do you have anything?

Yeah, I guess.

For home alone, it's going to make about 400 million.

It's like, hold on, let me go to my garage.

Let me think something out.

Let me

have

Christmas theme, right?

Yeah, okay.

I got you.

Kevin's room service bill.

So this was what was on it.

Two chocolate cakes, six chocolate mousses with chocolate, vanilla and strawberry ice cream topped with M ⁇ Ms, chocolate sprinkles, cherries, nuts, marshmallows, caramel syrup, chocolate syrup, strawberry syrup, whipped cream, bananas, six custard flans, a pastry cart, eight strawberry tarts, and 36 chocolate covered strawberries.

Again, he's American psycho.

Yeah, that's crazy.

For one person, that's insane.

Yeah, you can't consume that much in a few days.

A couple of years after that, he's

a diabetic.

He has to go right to the hospital.

Give me three scoops.

I'm not driving.

Well, you're driving to the hospital, Kevin.

You definitely are.

There's just no way you could eat that much as a 10-year-old when you're four feet and lift the television.

I think it's also like an F you to his parents.

I think this is like, I'm going to run up the bill.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah.

And so he's being like, screw you.

I'm going to be the highest bill possible because you guys ditch me again.

Yes.

Craig, what's the most you could spend on room service?

Nowadays, I feel like you can one person.

I mean, dude, you get Uber Eats for one person.

It's like $65.

So it's easy now.

That was Craig's lunch.

Chicken ketchup, $65.

It's true.

Room service under $100 for one person.

A sandwich, like a salad, and like a glass of wine, forget about it.

It's $100.

Yeah.

It's nuts.

And then it's like they do the thing where it's the service charge is in there.

But does that mean the person who brought this, it's not a tip for him?

Okay.

So it is a tip.

I think the idea is you're not supposed to tip, but I'm so worried about not tipping that I also tip, but then I feel like a sap.

I feel like I was just taking advantage of.

And they don't tell you.

Have you guys ever seen the bellhop do the Rob Schneider finger thing to you?

Oh, like what do you got?

Like, do you want to?

Rubbing the fingers together like it's time for pay.

Do you?

No.

Does that really happen?

I don't think it happens.

Those people get out.

They get out fast in hotels.

They don't do the thing.

They say three times, anything else I can do for you.

Anything else?

It's the room temperature to your liking.

That's what they're saying.

Movie trip.

Yes.

The Fortune 3-clap award for most giftable moment has to be her screaming Kevin, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

The mom.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

Great shot, Gordo Award.

You had it.

That drone shot was really cool, whatever they did.

Dennett Thieves, Benny Hanna Award, Scene Stealing Location.

I could give you New York City.

I could give you Duncan's toy chest.

I could just give you the plaza.

The plaza.

Yeah.

Did I take some of the magic out when I told you there's no pool at the plaza?

I feel like I ruined it for you a little.

It was fine.

It's like,

if I'm staying at the plaza, why am I like, hold on, I brought my trunks.

Yeah, you're right.

I'm there to like use New York City.

I'm right in the middle of everything.

It's right next to Central Park.

It'd be a little weird to swim.

And the pool would probably be small.

Right.

Okay.

Big Kahooner Burger Award, best use of food or drink has to be the room service order.

What's age the worst?

You mentioned this.

A clock radio accident causing 10 people in the house to be late.

Come on.

Ridiculous.

What else do you have?

I have a bunch.

When the family goes down to Florida, they stay in this crappy motel.

Hotels are motels that advertise adult movies on the sign.

You don't see that anymore.

Does that exist?

Like a porn movie is basically is what they're saying.

You know what?

The only thing that's left is HBO.

You'll see that.

Like there's some LA hotels where you'll see like free HBO still on there.

That's the only thing I've seen.

Craig, let me ask you, do you know what the term Spectra vision is?

Does that mean anything to you?

No.

Okay.

So Spectra Vision, which they used to nickname Spanktravision, was you could be in a hotel hotel and

you would order porn movies on the TV.

Spanktravision.

I remember Skinamax.

Yeah, Spanktravision walks so Skinamax could run or vice versa.

But the phrase bill would always be, movie titles do not appear on the bill.

Right.

Because it'd be like horny sorority girls, $12.99.

It would just say movie.

They don't do that much anymore.

Well, so then you'd pay the movie and you'd have your room service bill.

And the normal pay-per-views were like $9.99, but the Spanktravision was like $24.99.

They were so expensive.

Buy it.

So you're checking out and they know it's like, oh, you got the $24.99.

And yeah, like I remember staying in a hotel with my dad.

He was asleep.

And I, I, and he's like, did you order a movie last night?

I'm like, no.

So I think one of my friends did it.

We're on vacation in a hotel.

One of your friends, they just don't do porn in hotels like that anymore.

So I got that.

I should say age the worst.

Well, that was a big, that was a big ball bus like guy's thing.

If you were in somebody's hotel room, you'd order it when they're in the bathroom.

And you'd order ones that were, let's just say, were unflattering types of porn that would reflect poorly on them.

And then the guy after be like, why didn't you tell me?

I would have watched it.

Yeah.

Fine.

I'm going to pay for it.

I might as well watch it.

So porn in hotels.

Yeah.

And then I just generally have Uncle Frank.

I mean, much has been said about Uncle Frank, but like, where do you start?

Like, Uncle Frank definitely hits children.

Like to this day, he's a menace.

Everything bad.

Uncle Frank is being taken out of the house in handcuffs because he has stuff on his computer.

Oh, really?

Bill just took it to a 10.

I'm like, he's kind of a jerk.

Bill's like, he watches children's porn.

Oh, my God.

But you know what?

You might be right.

Do you know the deleted scene?

There's an infamous deleted scene with Uncle Frank.

What it's in the house before they leave, home on two, before they leave for the trip, and Kevin's bitching or something.

And Uncle Frank sits him down.

And I'm not making this up.

You're gonna think I'm joking.

He pulls Kevin's pants down and laughs and walks away.

So Kevin's left there in his underwear.

And we're like, dude, that I think that's assault.

Like, you can't do that to a kid.

Not your own kid.

He pulls his pants down just to fuck with him and laughs and walks away.

So Frank is, I mean, Frank is actually crazier than Kevin.

Yeah.

Gotta be.

Well, he's also like totally non-plussed that he's showering and Kevin's like pulling a prank on him.

He does have an all-time line though.

It's second-hand line.

When Kevin goes, Uncle Frank says if I walk in there and see him naked, I won't grow up feeling like a real man.

Awesome.

What a great line.

It does seem like something a family member would say.

Awesome.

See, my uncle said that to me, I think that'd be funny.

Moore would say it's the worst.

The head of the hotel just waltzing into a room and watching someone shower in a bathroom.

A little weird.

Although it's Tim Curry, so you expect it.

Yeah.

I got a fun one.

Well, I'll go ahead.

All right, so can we talk about the Joe Pesci swearing in this movie?

Yeah, so he's coming off Goodfellas, where every other word is F-bomb, and it's why you little chipper, chipper, chipper, jibber, jumper.

He does that non-stop, he does this swearing where he's not saying anything because it's a kids' movie.

Yeah, so to watch Pesci, who is like the Michelangelo of movie swearing, have to go through these scenes where he's getting his nuts crushed and he's not allowed to swear always seems so strange to me.

It almost seems like they've they've put him in in TBS

with dubbing or editing ahead of time.

Yes.

But before he even does it, you just want him to scream and how the fuck am I funny?

I know, right?

Why am I funny?

How the fuck am I funny?

Little kid that loves weird 1930s gangster movies.

Yeah, very strange.

I've been watching that movie.

Didn't know anyone

at any point who's like, hey, Tommy's coming over, like to play with your son.

He loves 1930s gangster movies.

Yeah, but what?

He should be watching.

The original Scarface.

Yes.

Pretty strange.

It is strange.

And then Michael Jackson visited Macaulay Culkin on the set.

I'm just, without comment, going to say that's H to Worst.

Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

Ruffalo Hannah Rubinik Partridge Over Acting Award.

They knew and they let it happen.

Don't you call me lady?

I come in here.

I give these things to you.

Give me all I got.

This and that.

Give me all your gut.

I treated you like a son.

You fucking stabbed me in the heart.

Fuck you.

Who would you give it to?

There's a guy in this movie who has a very small part who makes me laugh every single Christmas when I watch it.

And when Kevin's trying to run on the plane and the boarding passes get knocked down and the ladies picking him up, the supervisor comes over and this guy just goes, boredom, but make sure he finds his family.

And that guy puts every ounce of his being in that line.

Like that's his eight-mile moment.

He is so excited about that line.

So boredom is.

That VHS is getting sent out.

That's 100 ages.

He's on my reel.

I'm at home alone, too.

I'm with Macaulay.

I share a scene together.

I'm going to be a fucking movie star because of the words boredom.

And he is so over the top and so stupid.

I got boredom guy, which is two words.

I like

it.

It's better than any of my candidates.

What do you got?

What was your reel?

What was the number one thing on your reel?

Well, my acting reel or my sports media reel?

Acting reel.

It's just Days of Our Lives scenes.

Making yourself cry in a hospital because you had cancer.

I lost my leg.

My character.

Character lost a leg in a landmine.

Yes, I'm not making it up.

Your character lost a leg in a landmine?

Character was a soldier.

I was at war.

I became the first amputee character in daytime TV history.

It's of of the Days of Our Lives?

Days of Our Lives, yeah.

Three and a half years.

And uh, wait, for three and a half years, you didn't have a leg?

No, for like two years, I didn't have a leg.

You know what I mean?

So you had to like pretend you didn't have a leg for multiple seasons.

I had a prosthesis and I would like limp.

And then the craziest thing was Paul McCartney's wife at the time was a real-life amputee from landmines.

And I came in and I did a scene with Heather Mills McCartney on Days of Our Lives where we're like crying about how we don't have a leg.

That really happened in my life.

That was the thing.

Was that your number one real thing?

Probably was, yeah.

Probably was.

Yes.

Was there a better title for this movie?

I would have gone with Home Alone 2.

How terrible were these parents?

Question mark.

Yeah.

That would be, I don't know if it would have been good.

Home Alone 2, more child negligence.

Home Alone 2, Protective Services.

That's Home Alone 3.

You can't lose them three times.

Kenya Diggett a word for most memorable quote.

It's just Kevin again.

Kevin.

I also do like...

Suck brick, kid.

I say that sometimes when we play basketball and volleyball.

It's fun.

Let's take a break and then we'll do the hottest take.

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All right.

The CR thanks Luke Wilson.

Could have been Harrison Ford.

How does Take Award?

What do you got?

All right.

So I actually have two.

The first one, I think we learn in this second movie, and I think Kevin learns.

Kevin wants to be alone.

I think Kevin is wanting to be apart from his family.

And by the time the movie is over, I think he's he's actually pissed off when she finds him at Rockefeller Center.

I think he orchestrates it at the airport.

I think that thing with the batteries is all bullshit that he set up ahead of time.

At no point in this movie, does he try to find his parents?

Does he talk to anybody about his parents?

First movie, he goes to Santa Claus and says, can you please bring my family back?

This movie, he doesn't do any of that.

And he's like, he's pumped.

Yeah.

This is a high IQ, independent child who doesn't belong in a conventional family structure.

He's got a sick ass apartment, eats whatever he wants.

He's got friends he hangs out with.

He's got a fucking pool.

And I think when she shows up at the end, she's like, Kevin, he's like, ah, fuck.

It's like when your parents come home and you had a babysitter, like the party's over.

I think he doesn't want to be with this family.

And his family sucks as well.

And they set that up in the first act of the movie.

I think he wants to be alone and is totally bummed out when he's not.

I don't think you're wrong.

I think the internet comes about five years later, and Kevin doesn't have another relationship with another human being.

No, it's just

his early message boards.

Probably at that point, he's 14.

Yes.

When

like the first wave, he definitely is AOL in like 95.

Yeah, he's, yes.

He's probably goes to college for computer programming.

Also kind of a freak.

Like he likes torturing people.

I think he's into cybersex and all that.

Yeah, he probably gets into some dark places of the dark web by the time he's 19, 20.

I like that one.

My second take, this is simple.

I think Harry and Marv are lovers.

Really?

I do.

They've been in prison together multiple times.

Yeah.

I don't really know why they wet together.

The weather bandits and then the sticky bandits.

Wet and stickies.

Yeah, you know what I mean?

They talk about when this is over, we're going to go abroad together.

The first time we see Harry, he's in a policeman's uniform, which I think he owns and like uses in his personal life.

And I don't know why else Harry is with Marv.

Marv's bringing nothing to the table.

It's not like he's the computer hacker or like the muscle.

I think that they're in a relationship.

And the only fly in the ointment is that in this movie that Marv like gets kind of horny about the blonde lady on the sidewalk.

But I think he's like fresh out of prison and just looking to like screw anything.

And I think Harry doesn't like it when he flirts with with the blonde woman.

So I think Harry and Marva are like our lovers and like they're head over heels for each other.

That's that's that's what we do.

They're going to Mexico together after this.

That's a great hatta steak.

I, what do you got?

I

that's where I mean, you really went for it because I was like ashamed of mine because it's probably too over the top.

But now I feel like no, let's go.

Come on, Bill.

I think this is a movie about a little kid fighting off the dangers of child trafficking.

Do this.

Let's go.

From the get-go, this kid is just in peril and in danger, and everybody is coming after him at all times.

And everybody is some sort of avatar for be careful if you're a little kid.

Um,

heading to when the pigeon lady saves Kevin, it's in the exact same spot as the climactic scene in cruising with Al Pacino.

I know either Cruising or Nell was going to come up.

Which one of those?

It's the same spot.

It seems like the same spot.

It does look very similar.

I was looking at it.

It was like, there was the bench.

Yeah.

There was like the little hill.

There was a little bridge.

I was like, what are they trying to tell us?

That's all I got.

And Kevin and Bobby Cross, the hottest take.

That's right.

We listen to the episodes sometimes.

Sometimes it's just an interesting take.

It's a fun take.

It's supposed to be a ridiculous take.

You don't really believe.

Yeah, I know.

It's the hottest take.

It's like.

It's trafficking.

I talk myself into believing this.

That's how you do it.

Good job, Bill.

Casting Wood F's.

Great job by you.

So only a couple.

Chris Columbus wanted Gene Wilder to play the role of Mr.

Duncan, the toy store guy.

Beneath him.

He turned it down.

Too small of a part.

So they got Roy Wally.

Damn right they got Roy Wally.

And then there's a legitimate Allie Sheety cameo for keeping our brat pack roots.

Yeah.

So this is a cameo, right?

Like that's it's she's winking at the camera.

It's not like just a small part that Allie Sheety took.

No, because she's still pretty big and this is nice time too.

Yeah, she's really gonna have to be like, holy shit, they got Allie Sheety.

It's like the rock showing up or something.

Yeah,

no.

It's an odd part.

Like she's

a John Hughes.

Yeah, she was in a couple John Hughes movies.

Yeah, it's good to see her.

I think she's wearing a wig too.

That blonde hair.

I don't know if that's hers.

Best that guy award is clearly Eddie Bracken, who plays Mr.

Duncan, who was also Roy Wally in Wally World and was in pretty much every Hughes movie

in some way.

He was also in the movie Rookie of the Year, he owns the Cubs.

That movie directed by Marv.

So there's somebody there.

Yeah, and he's in it as well.

Did you know his name is Eddie Bracken?

No.

Yeah.

But that's,

I gather he was like massive, like in the 50s, 60s, 40s like that.

I've not seen those films.

I'm not Kevin McAllister.

I don't watch old black and white movies.

Deion Wader's a word.

Pigeon Lady's in it too much.

Schneider is a candidate.

Buzz?

Okay.

Roy Wally.

I don't know.

Curry probably in it too much.

How about my guy?

How about how about Johnny in the movie,

in the old movie, the black and white movie?

Ralph Footie is his name.

Oh, that guy.

That's good.

I like that.

O-D-Y.

You've been smooching with everybody.

Like, that guy is kind of an iconic candidate.

He's an amazing.

Yeah.

He's like James Cagney.

You're right.

You know how we said you got to have Macaulay and then Pesci?

I think you got to have that guy.

Right.

You can't have him alone.

It's a great call.

Ralph Foodie, F-O-D-Y.

Recasting couch director City.

I've never been a Buzz guy.

Talk about Buzz.

Yeah, go ahead.

I don't know.

It's too stereotypical, annoying, brother.

I don't like that.

Nobody would be named Buzz in real life that we would take seriously.

You just hear, you see the haircut, you just know he's going to be a dick.

It's just too easy.

Yeah, Buzz is the name of a spaceman in Pixar movies.

It's, it's, I, I, in the first movie, I kind of like Buzz because he's like, he has that, the shelves where he has a tarantula and he has a Playboy and he has money.

And like, Buzz is definitely going to have like weed and stuff and pills up there eventually.

Like, Buzz is going to party hard.

Like, Buzz is going to burn out.

But the opening scene of the movie is a couple Kennedys.

Oh, yeah.

Like, he knows them all.

Yeah.

He's one of the cousins of the scapegoats.

Yes.

Yes.

And Buzz just keeps falling upward in life because he has people.

But yeah, he doesn't do much for me.

Craig, do you know anybody named Buzz who turned out to be a good guy?

Aldrin?

Yeah, well, he did.

That's a pretty big one.

Yeah.

Didn't know him personally.

He was like 90, right?

Good friends with Stanley Kubrick, as far as I understand, right?

So Buzz Aldrin is our last Buzz.

Yeah, and Buzz Aldrin will punch you in the face if you say he didn't land on the moon.

He did it.

It's on camera.

It's an amazing video.

Yeah, Buzz Aldrin, Buzz Lightyear.

Fictional character.

Yeah, and then Buzz Cuts and Buzz Soft from the Running Manner guy, but not a lot of those.

Should I throw Buzz on the the list for my firstborn?

Buzz Horlbeck?

Yeah.

Not even a nickname, the real name.

Put it on.

Buzz Horlbeck kind of plays.

Buzz Horlback.

Buzz Horlbeck sounds like a tight end in the Saints.

Taysom Hill's out.

Buzz Horlbeck, startup this week.

Pull him off waivers.

Buzz Horlbeck always gets red zone targets.

Yeah.

Taysom Hill likes throwing them to him when he's in.

Buzz Horlback.

Buzz Horlback.

Quietly four touchdowns in his last five games.

Bill, where did Buzz Horlback go to college?

Where do you play college ball?

North Carolina.

North Carolina.

Why?

Why?

That's the first one I talked to.

Yeah.

That's great.

It's big.

Three-time

ACC.

Yeah, Craig, you did it.

NC State.

Romo Collinsworth or someone else for the director's commentary.

What do you got?

I got Mike Breen.

Oh, you got Mike Breen.

Here's Kevin with another brick bag.

That's all I got.

I was going to do Scott Hansen.

Oh.

But I think after Ohio State, Michigan.

Oh, Gus?

I think it has to be Gus.

And I think it's

Kevin McAllister, young fella.

Ha ha!

Sunk the whole rope in kerosene.

Lights a match.

Oh!

And fall for stories!

McAllister, the hero!

Oh, how does he do that?

Wow.

Unbelievable.

Lights a match.

I love you, Gus.

Awesome.

That's so good.

Great stuff.

I mean, Gus.

You really went for it.

I feel like Gus is apex.

I haven't seen you go to a place like that since you're with Heather Mills-McCartney.

I went to a deep place.

That might have to go in your reel.

It's incredible.

It's kind of disrespectful that I was pretending I lost the leg and she actually had lost the leg.

That's why you're an actor.

That's why they call it actor.

That's right.

Half-fast internet research.

Hughes finished writing this film by February 1991 after signing a six-picture deal with 20th Century Fox,

which it started a little sideways for him.

That's when we got, what was the female home alone one?

Curly Sue.

Oh, yeah, Curly Sue.

Yeah.

John Belushi or John Belushi.

Went a little sideways.

So Lenny McAllister, Kevin's older sister,

was previously portrayed by Angela Gothels in the first film, replaced by Maureen Elizabeth Shea, if you're keeping score at home.

Got her.

The show Kevin's watching in the first scene is a fictional game show called Ding Dang Dong.

It was taped on the set of an actual actual game show called 100,000 Fortune Hunt, Illinois, hosted by Bob Eubanks.

The one and the only Bob Eubanks.

So Donald Trump would only let them shoot in the plaza if he had a cameo

plus a fee for the film production.

So they agreed to give him the cameo and then they were going to cut it out.

But then they actually kind of liked it.

The cameo works well.

Yeah, the cameo is solid.

It's weird.

Like if you're just the young person, you know Trump only is a politician.

Like back then he was known as just like the rich guy, like the rich guy and the guy who would like went through rough marriages and stuff that was his whole reputation yeah i don't know who that is now

the rich guy i mean you know bezos like he's on yachts and stuff and but it was like trump's thing was like we didn't even know how much money he had but he was he was kind of 80s excess personified but going through divorces there was always women It always seemed like he might go bankrupt, like he was playing Monopoly and just like buying houses as soon as he could.

And he'd own every building in New York.

And we just didn't have as much access to him.

But again, as a kid in Chicago, I was like, wow, Donald Trump's the richest man ever.

Like I was, that's what he stood for.

And that's why he's in the movie.

So apparently Pesci suffered burns to his head while filming the scene when Harry's hat got set on fire.

That's the thing that happened.

Do you think Pesci like enjoyed this experience making this movie?

I think they just overpaid him.

Okay.

And he's like, yeah, I got to take this money.

I do the sequel.

Yeah, I think Pesci was smart enough to know like, I'm having a little run right now.

Yeah.

I'm going to make my lethal weapon two money.

I'm going to make my home alone two money.

I'll make my cousin Vinny.

All this is leading toward me making with honors with Brennan Frazier.

And

my run will be over by like 96.

If he had that, that's the foresight because he might have been like, how, I mean, what am I?

Am I going to be Tom Cruise?

Like, I'm this little short guy who beats people up.

He has this charming anecdote that he told in an interview where he says, children come up to me and they say they know me from the movie and they want me to come and rob their house so they can beat me up.

And I still get that to this day.

And I was like, oh, that's a charming little story that he has kids that know him from home.

Do you think he's ever been assaulted by a little kid?

Because they think they have the right to do it.

Yeah.

Maybe.

Maybe some little kid just runs in, punches him in the ball

right to the face at the airport.

He says he liked it.

A lot of promotional partners in this movie, including American Airlines, Coca-Cola, Jack in the Box, Hardee's, Roy Rogers Restaurants.

This was right as they were really starting to figure out how to grab extra money with the movie.

So the pigeon attack.

Apparently they covered them with real bird seeds, and those were 300 real pigeons.

And at one point, one of them got into Daniel Stern's mouth and it just sounded horrible i don't think they paid those guys enough that's disgusting yeah it's disgusting i don't like that's awesome i'm not into that at all they spent a lot of money on an artificial snow and then new york had a blizzard so they didn't need the snow i love when that happens house was 51 west 95th

that was uncle rob and aunt georgette's house that's being renovated it's great looking place i don't know if you know that neighborhood at all well again the prodigious wealth of the mcalesters i mean like they have this incredible brownstone that they're doing it full gut right the price of that.

And then obviously, people have said a lot of things about the McAllister.

But if they're staying at a motel with like free porn.

Who is that?

And they're all flying to France in the first one.

They're riding first class to France.

Like, that is really expensive, but they're at a shitty motel.

And then Uncle Frank's like, it wasn't like this on our honeymoon.

I think the joke is Uncle Frank set up that hotel and he's a scumbag or something.

Entertainment Weekly had a real medical doctor.

checking out the effects of Harry and Marv's injuries and said, at best, brain damage,

at worst, death.

Yes.

That was where they landed on that.

I like that they needed to actually assign a story to figure that out.

Yeah.

Look at this.

Four bricks from a four-story drop.

You're dying.

It's the same people who are like, you know, Batman's equipment really wouldn't work like that.

We know, dude, it's a big, we understand.

We don't need an expert.

It bothers me.

That's why we have a nitpicks category in the rewatchables.

We like to

like to tweak it.

Let's tweak it.

But I wouldn't assign a story to find out.

Pay an expert.

Apex Mountain Kulkin.

I think it is.

Yeah.

I think it is too, because now he's had three hits in a row and we're heading toward Good Sun.

And this movie made almost $400 million.

And it sucks too, because Apex Mountain means you're the highest you're ever going to get, but it's going to go down.

Yeah.

It did go down quickly.

It sucks.

For everybody, but Slash alone.

Right.

Exactly right.

Because Apex Mountain was just Mount Everest, and he's still up there.

Still up there to this day.

I can't believe he never came down.

Pigeon Ladies, Apex Mountain.

Yeah.

And you could also, homeless characters.

Benevolent Christmas homeless characters?

Yes.

Homeless characters who are not a criminal, a drug addict, or mentally ill, I guess.

He really hit the lottery with that one.

New York City is a holiday movie location.

For me, it is, yeah.

And for me, it is in the last 30 years.

Chicago has got some.

I'm sure we're forgetting some important holiday.

You know, Miracle on 34th Street is an iconic Christmas movie, and they redated it with Dylan McDermott a few years ago.

I like this better.

This is massive.

Catherine O'Hara?

That's a good one because she just, she blew up with Shit's Creek in terms of like the fanhood and everyone with that show.

But she also had a whole

Christopher Guest movies, which is my favorite stuff that she's done.

Oh my God, Waiting for Guffman is unbelievable.

I love that.

What's the one?

Is it Best in Show or Waiting for Guffman?

Best in Show,

yeah.

When she

just has a history with like every guy and the guy's like, the guy's like slowly figuring out and people are flirting with her.

Like, I remember that time in Tulsa?

Yeah.

I love that movie.

John Hurd,

a lot of possibilities for him.

He's in big.

Yes.

Great Sopranos run for him.

But I think he became, it's right around here because he became like, oh, John Hurd.

Home alone dad.

Yeah.

And he's such a dopey character.

Like, he must not be that proud of it.

It's a stupid role.

I like him in big.

I don't get it.

I don't get it.

It's great.

It's great and big.

The plaza?

I don't know the history of it.

I'm sure presidents have stayed there.

I'm sure FDR stayed there.

Like, I don't know.

From a pop culture standpoint.

Herbert Hoover.

That's what they say in the movie.

Yeah.

Oh, that's right.

Okay.

Hoover.

I don't know.

Is that first-class president?

I would say for the plaza, it was a pop culture standpoint.

Definitely.

Yes.

Definitely.

Losing your kids in a movie.

This or taken.

Taken's pretty big.

This made more money than taken.

This is a bigger movie than taken.

And the home of the soaking a rope in kerosene.

Definitely.

Daniel Stern.

I'm going to say yes.

Pesci, 92.

Stern, yeah.

Stern was great at the time.

I love him in Wonder Years.

Great career, but this is it.

Pesci.

We listed what his 92 was.

It's pretty unbelievable.

Coming off good fellas.

Yeah.

Then these three movies all in the same year.

Dude, I got to tell you sky's the limit.

I watched a Tales from the Crypt episode that Pesci was in this week in preparation for this.

It's batshit.

Joey Pants is in it.

Oh.

Polly from Rocky is in it.

And Pesci gets sawed in half by two twins and then they have sex with half of his body.

It's right in this run.

It's like 1993, 92.

He did a Tales from the Crypt episode.

Michael Kamen does the music.

Like, it is a crazy episode.

I watched the whole thing.

I love Tales from the Crypt, but that run you're talking about is this is in that too.

He decided to just do it.

I don't know why.

It's so weird.

You know what Tales from the Crypt is, Craig?

I don't.

Yeah.

See, Craig missed out on a lot of great HBO content just by being too young.

That's on my HBO Rushmore.

And that's a tough one.

You know the Hitchhiker, right?

No.

The Hitchhiker, another one.

You remember the Hitchhiker?

I know the Hitchhiker, hitchhiker, yes.

My buddy Jeff, one of my best friends, my best friend from high school,

who was really excited about Yacht Rock.

And he's like, Yacht Rock did well.

Do you think you could get him to bring back the hitchhiker?

As long as they bring on, bring back Dreamon.

Dreamon is on my rush more as well.

We were trying to figure out the hitchhiker, just like, I guess the premise would be he landed.

He's just in Malibu now.

Yeah.

He's like, he stopped hitchhiking, but now he's something one last job ropes him back into one more hitchhike.

Yeah.

It's like you guys with Running Scared, like they're in Key West.

They're just retired.

It's like, what do do we do now?

Just kind of breaks the thumb out, I guess.

For good time's sake.

Uh, one last one for Apex Mountain.

Brenda Fricker,

this is right before she's in So I Married an Axe Murder as the mom, where she's just like the horny Mike Myers mom, and she's great in that movie.

So it's right around here for her.

Pregnant Man Gives Beth.

That's a fact.

Mom, I find it interesting you refer to the Weekly World News as the paper.

Right.

Um, I love her.

She's an Academy Award winner.

My left foot.

She's in this movie.

She won't be her Apex Mountain.

I forgot she won the Oscar.

Shorner Oscar for the Daniel Death Day Lewis movie.

So that's our Apex Mountain.

F.A.O.

Schwartz, would you have?

No.

Piano scene and big.

The piano.

Great point.

That's what else do you have, anything?

All right, so I got one.

This is fun.

Is this Apex Mountain for pizza in movies?

So when he comes out and he says, Mr.

McAllister, a cheese pizza just for you, he opens it.

There's this beautiful pume of steam and he gets in the plume of steam and he gets in and he eats it.

Here's what else I got.

Back to the Future 2 pizza, where it's tiny and they make it big.

Right.

um Wayne's World pizza where contractor no I will not bow to any sponsor and they like the commercial thing there's a big scene in Iron Man where Tony Stark is eating pizza but I'll tell you my favorite and I I like the Tony Stark pizza I think we talked about that I think we did Iron Man like how how how good the pizza looks I think the idea is I haven't seen that movie in a while that they brought it from New York on the private jet to Malibu so they're having New York pizza in Malibu and like you want a slice so fucking bad but my pizza Mount Rushmore Bill are you a lover boy guy lover boy guy with Patrick Percy?

I mean, who am I asking?

If you don't know Loverboy, there's a pizza delivery guy who turns into a gigolo and the women order extra anchovies and that means they want to sleep with the pizza boy.

And the phrase of the movie, like the catch line, it's fantastic.

His customers always come first.

They don't make them like that anymore.

The 80s.

God damn it.

I missed stuff.

Loverboy, that's my, but I think Kevin McAllister's pizza is on the Rushmore, but not Apex.

I always think about if they just had a movie and they pretended it was coming out in 2024, they filmed the the trailer for Lover Boy.

Just what people's reactions would be if they're watching football on a Sunday, like, wait, what's going on?

They fucked the pizza guy.

Teenager is awesome.

Pizza Boy, who fucks grown women?

He's barely 18, but they love it.

I wish you had prep me for the pizza thing.

I would have spent like three hours thinking about this.

Maybe next time I'll have more.

Along Came Polly, not a bad scene.

Hoffman was a piece of the camera.

We talked about that.

That's a good one.

Oh, they're eating the pizza.

Drinking the grease.

Yeah.

I really think for pizza and movies, it has to be like the old school, thin, cheesy, kind of saucy, like oil spilling off it, eating on a plate.

You have to turn it over.

That's what I'm looking for.

Yeah.

The New York style slice.

Like, that's what Kevin has in the,

and it looks the pizza in 1111 is good that barp that Buzz has to barf up.

But I just, I want that pizza so bad.

You know, it's funny.

There's never been a good Chicago deep dish pizza movie scene because even if it's delicious, it's just so gross to eat as you're eating it.

Nobody's like, oh, yeah, I got my knife and I'm just cutting.

it's not it's not for television or for movies it's really not it's just for that cheese pull initially but then it turns into a slop people their cheesers like dripping on their chin it's my favorite food no actress is eating that yeah she's like i'm not going to sit down eat that and look terrible yeah charlize theon isn't sitting down eating the deep dish pizza um i have one other one and i should have prepped you for this too but it's fun all right apex mountain fake movies in real movies So you got angels with dirty souls and now the angels eat even filthier souls or whatever.

I got a list.

All right.

log jamming in the big Lebowski great porn movie.

Which one's log jam?

All right.

Um, our angels live in my town with our guy, Dirk, obviously.

Amazing.

Uh, simple Jack.

You are Dirk Diggler.

Yes.

Wow.

Simple Jack hasn't aged well.

Remember when Scream 2 came out and they made a movie that was like it, but it was called Stab?

That was their play on Scream 2.

Yeah.

And then the last Terrence and Philip Asses of Fire in the South Park movie.

Which one jumps out to you?

That's just my list.

Is this all movies or can I do TV too?

Of course.

Because Cleaver on the Sopranos.

is great great smaltha santa cleaver that's a great one baldwin oh that's so good i i always thought i i absolutely would have rented cleaver if they had just said it and made the whole movie and then the i guess it's not a movie but the end of um

forgetting sarah marshall oh yeah the csi whatever crime scene scene of the crime yeah

the sunglasses coming off i always really admired how they did those you have friends at hbo can't can't we make the cleaver movie like that that would be an incredible like that's what David Chase should have done instead of making the Sopranos prequel.

He's been like, hey, I have to decide.

Finally have an idea for Cleaver.

It's great.

If we got Maltesante in it somehow, that'd be so good.

And then Carmelo is like, Tony, you don't think it's a problem?

Christopher made this movie about somebody who wanted to kill his uncle, mob boss, because he slept with his fiancé.

You're telling me this isn't about you and Adriana?

So good.

I missed that show, man.

Let's we'll take a break and then we'll wrap it up.

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Home stretch here.

Cruiser Hanks.

So I guess this would be for the dad character or maybe because there's no adult lead in the movie, maybe everyone's in play, every male.

So it could be Tim Curry.

It could be anybody.

Or Pesci.

Well, oh, it could be one of the crooks.

Yeah.

Listen, I don't want to break the rules here.

I say Cruz and Hanks for the sticky bandits.

It's the two of them.

But so, so we get a tie?

Can we do that?

You're Harry and Marv.

Yeah.

Can we do that?

I fuck up the whole scoring system.

It would be fine.

No, I hate this.

Schrager and I called this breaking the segment of Good Morning Football when it's like, name an AFC East player that you love.

And it's like, well, I'm actually going to go with an NFC.

Shut up.

Just don't break the segment.

I will say it's got to be Hanks for the physical comedy.

He'd be better in that than Cruz if he's going to be one of the bandits.

So Hanks is Marv?

I think Hanks was Marv.

Yeah.

What would you rather see?

Cruz as one of the bandits or Hanks?

Would you want to see Cruz just getting hit by bricks and stuff?

Well, I think Cruz.

Hanks would do a better job.

Yeah.

I think Cruz isn't nearly tall enough for the Pesci role.

So I think you'd have to go to Stern.

This is mean.

I love Tom Cruise.

Why am I making dumb jokes about a spider?

I love Tom Cruise.

I think Hanks.

I think, yeah, he's doing the Michael Richards.

Hanks went.

Yeah, Hanks.

What's the score now, Craig?

1915, Hanks.

Wow, Hanks.

Okay.

It's competitive.

So, Racehorse, Rock Band, Wrestler Fantasy Team Name.

We can go Wet Bandits, Sticky Bandits, Angels with Even Filthier Souls.

or Duncan's Toy Chest, which, by the way, all could have been titles for porn movies.

So many porn movies.

Which goes back to my trial trafficking hottest take.

Yes.

Why is all of the stuff in this so porny and joe francisy it's like joe francis's wet bandits wet bandits gone wild

south beach angels with either even filthier souls disgusting yeah duncan's toy chest come on you're right yeah that sounds gross four of those in this movie at some point bill we're going to arrive on a topic that's going to be the shaving ryan's privates award for the what would the porn name be of this movie you know

i had this in one of the test things and i didn't think enough movies would have it but maybe that should be added like i think and we did meet the parents like i think that greg has to like have sex with the parents and it's called meet the parents but it's me at the parents

you know what i mean i'm like cliffhanger would have been like cliffbanger and it's so easy they're just all right there The Shaving Ryvens Privates Award for what would the porn name be of this movie?

Forrest Hump.

Yeah, Forrest Hump Bone Alone or like something like that.

My buddy Jacko and I used to do this all the time.

That's so fun.

Because there was this whole era where the porn would come out after the successful movie and they would tweak the title and it was always made us laugh.

So we thought it was so good every time.

Yeah.

Now we just have 10-minute clips for porn.

I remember they did a Hamilton porn spoof and it was about, yeah, it was about the pounding fathers.

And I was like, I love that stuff.

It's so stupid that it cracks.

Not pounding.

Pounding.

Get it?

Pick a knits.

Okay.

We mentioned the whole audience from the Christmas cry.

I would not be laughing at a little kid.

Hate it.

The wet, now, sticky bandits escape during a prison riot.

These guys are imbeciles.

Could you trust them to escape from anything?

No.

And also they take a fish truck to New York.

Aren't they in Illinois?

That's a picky nit.

What kind of prison riots happening in the

outskirts of Illinois?

It's not federal prison.

They're in prison for burglary.

It's kind of a low-end prison, I think.

Yeah, I don't get it.

Kevin can see New York City from the airport after he lands.

He looks out the window and it's like the airport's

city's right there.

So is he at LaGuardia?

Where is he?

He might be in Newark.

I'm not really sure.

I don't.

I've never been to an airport in the New York area where you could just immediately see the airport that see the city that perfectly.

Well, also, when you get off a plane, aren't you just trying to get the fuck out of there?

Who goes and looks out the window for a second when you get off the plane?

I just go.

I always feel like the people who have to have the cigarette are the saddest people on the earth.

There's that chamber they go in, right?

That Glaxon area.

The cancer chamber.

If you're going in there.

Yeah, if you're going in there, just re-evaluate everything.

It's right next to where you take the dogs to shit.

Right.

Or maybe it's the same place.

It might be.

It might be.

The pigeon lady's explanation for becoming the pigeon lady was because she doesn't want to trust anyone again.

My nitpick for this was, you're a crazy pigeon lady, covered in pigeon shit.

Maybe that's the reason you're fucking mentally imbalanced.

I was on that as well.

You said you haven't talked to someone in two years.

So you're not exactly have a full dance card.

She's, I just, I got a lot of offers.

I just didn't want to break anybody's heart.

You're not breaking anybody's heart.

Your heart's broken.

You have 300 pigeons around you.

Nitpick, New York City at night,

too clean, too empty.

It's just never looked this good ever at any point.

Too safe.

There's the one scene where they scare Kevin and like there's prostitutes and the cab door's like, hey, I'm too much better in here, kid.

There's like a five-second scene where it's scary and the rest of the time it's like Disneyland.

It's the happiest place on earth.

He's in an abandoned building.

There's no rats or people.

It's just, yeah, no, no, anybody.

It's just great.

No shit in the floor.

Nothing.

What do you have?

When they the Tim Curry character and the staff go in and he does the thing with the movie, it doesn't, you wouldn't think that that's a real person firing a machine gun.

It's a hotel TV with a crappy little 17-inch zenith.

It sounds like yeah.

He's like, get back in your rooms.

There's a crazed guest with a gun.

It wouldn't work like that at all.

It's not like you have this massive sci-fi system set up.

In the first movie, he lights off firecrackers in the pot, so it sounds like a gun.

So that one just drives me nuts.

I don't like that.

You wouldn't think that.

I have a couple more of that.

Yeah, but I agree with you.

We've talked about a lot of mine.

Duncan's toy chest, no night security guard.

Nothing.

Nothing.

No cameras.

No person there.

No alarm.

They just keep all this cashed in cash register, not one person, just with a flashlight walking around, making sure.

You did like a night watchman in those movies, right?

Who walks around with the flashlight, like twirling his keys.

You need some of that.

Yeah, maybe they should have.

The bandits should have like knocked the guy out, made him seem more evil.

Where did Kevin get all his props?

Like he's got like a nail gun.

He just says props are too good.

I think it's under construction and they, they're, the guys are on a break for Christmas Eve and he just walks in there and he's like, holy shit, I found a treasure chest.

Look at all this stuff.

I can really kill them now.

My two biggest ones.

Kevin lowers himself down a five-story rope.

Yeah, that's crazy.

At night in a dark building

with no safety harness, anything.

And I wouldn't call him like Bo Jackson when you're watching him run around and stuff.

You're not watching Culkin going, I wonder what sport he's going to pick as an adult.

That kid's got talent, he's he's just kind of lumbering around.

Remember when Jerry Maguire sees Ray throw the baseball at you, and he's like, Whoa,

yeah, it's not a good throw.

Um,

yeah, I just they kind of gloss over how crazy that is.

Ludicrous.

Remember the presidential fitness test in gym class in elementary school?

We do the sit in the beach and the rope.

That shit was hard.

I couldn't do that pegboard.

It's kind of hard.

Kevin just all of a sudden turns into Ethan Hunt.

He's going down Hanover.

He's a 10-year-old.

Come on, no one's doing it.

Fourth grade.

Breaking both his legs.

Here's my big one:

So Kevin finds his family.

They drop all these presents off at the tree.

Yeah.

Right.

And they're opening it the next day.

He's having a nice little family moment.

And then he's like, oh, I should give that ornament to Pigeon Lady.

You're not going to invite her back to the house to spend Christmas with your family.

Granted, she's covered in pigeon shit, but maybe that's a nicer gesture than just like, here's an ornament.

I'll never forget you.

Like, how about bringing her up?

How about trying to domesticate her?

How about giving her like a nice meal in one of the presents?

Shower.

Hot shower.

Yeah.

Hey, want to shower in our fucking penthouse?

She should have, it would have been funny if she was like, these are doves.

I'm a pigeon person.

Is there a receipt?

Stupid.

She's like, doves, do you idiot?

Did you keep the receipts?

You can return it if you want.

Now they would look at that as like a statement on class and wealth and everything.

She's standing there.

This is a vagrant homeless person covered in shit.

He comes down from the Plaza Hotel.

Penthouse.

Penthouse suites.

And he comes.

He could have brought her a cheeseburger.

But anything.

And she's like, cheese plate?

A Christmas order.

Give me $1,000, you little shit.

I just saved your life.

Yeah.

They were going to shoot you.

You saved his life.

I have this down unanswerable.

When she brings him up to the Carnegie Hall, like her little thing up there.

Yeah.

How long does she wait before she strangles him and takes all his money and credit card?

Like, she's going to kill that kid.

She's a homeless person.

She just finally, her ship just came in.

She found a soil, rich little white kid she's gonna get everything he's made of and kevin isn't even there is a whole she's like i can't believe you fell from my pigeon lady gimmick yeah i finally got him

about pigeons and worms i'm here to kill you and take your money there is a kristen wigg snl sketch where at that very moment when kevin goes back to see her at the end and he's like oh i brought all this pizza And she's like, oh, great.

My stomach is rumbling.

He's like, I thought it'd be good for the birds.

And he just feeds it all to the birds and gives her none of it.

So they're on the same thing.

He shows nothing.

That's an actual sketch.

I didn't see that one.

I think it's Kristen Wiggins might have been hosting.

I think it was only a few years ago.

But like, she is starving to death.

Like, she's probably having to like perform sex acts for food.

And like, it's a terrible deal for her.

It's freezing.

And Kev gives her a Christmas ornament.

She doesn't have a tree.

Yeah, where's she in the hangar?

She didn't have a Christmas tree.

She's taking a shit under the bridge.

Like, she's homeless.

Come on, John Hughes.

Come on.

And by the way, if I'm her, I'm like, hey, I saw that other John Hughes movie where at the end, Del Griffith comes to come home and have Thanksgiving with Neil Page.

He rings into his house, that homeless guy.

How come I don't get to go up there and take a bath for a little bit and go for a swim?

Yeah,

can't I get invited to brunch?

No.

We'll be friends with you.

I've never had X Benedict.

Sequel, prequel, Prestige TV, all Blackcaster Untouchable.

Definitely a sequel because they made five more.

Haven't seen any of them.

Neither.

Never seen any of them.

My train got off at home alone, too.

I'm going to Culkin season tickets out.

I don't acknowledge that franchise without Culkin.

That's my guy.

Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Treo, Sid Goldberg, Sam Jackson, JT Walsh, Nell, Byron Mayo, Harling Mays, Evil Affield, Ramon Raymond, Long Legs, or Philip Baker Hall.

I just want to tell you that I've really enjoyed the long legs from UNCR.

And I recently saw the movie and I

didn't see it until a couple weeks ago.

And it's an amazing movie.

Thank you.

And I like when you guys do the long legs.

So I'm going to leave that be.

I look at, there's a gangster in this movie, and he's the old black and white guy.

And I think it's easy.

It's...

You were smooching with my brother, motherfucker.

Sam Jackson with the machine gun.

Or Sam Jackson adopting the old old like gangster dialect and being like, you ever read the Bible, baby?

I got this passage memorized.

Ezekiel 25, 17, baby.

The path of the right.

I want Sam Jackson and Angels with a filthy soul.

1930s pulp fiction.

Sam Jackson, yes.

Not Marcellus.

Well, Jules.

Jules Weafield.

Yeah.

That's my guy.

Smooching with my brother.

I just wanted to see Nell in Central Park.

Let's go.

She belongs in Central Park.

To the pigeon lady, she points over, have you met Nell?

And I was like,

Nell, would you like a Christmas ornament?

I have nothing to do with it.

Just one Oscar, who gets it?

Who do you got?

John Williams?

I mean, like, he.

John Williams.

He has a whole case of those.

No, John Williams.

Yeah, it's fine.

He wakes up and gets Oscars.

Probably unanswerable questions.

Are these the worst

non-violent, non-molesting, non-child trafficking parents in the history of movies.

It's way up there, even before they lose him again.

Great Santini, maybe Santini's

plays basketball with him and stuff.

Like, there's some supportive moments, even though it ends kind of bad.

They're also afraid of him.

Yes, very afraid of him.

I don't think Kevin's afraid of his dad.

I think his dad's just an idiot.

De Niro, and what's that movie?

This boy's life.

There's been some bad parents.

So, probably not.

Yeah, probably not.

The Sticky Bandits, just

really bad CT, right?

Oh, yeah.

Like Jeremy Schapp's doing the

E60.

It's definitely.

Dang where he's with Marv.

Marv doesn't know his name anymore.

I think Tom Rinaldi has a very moving report on Marv and what's became of him in the jail.

And he doesn't recognize Harry anymore and Harry's still in love with him.

But no, I think definitely, definitely, definitely.

And Tom Rinaldi just brings the house down, wins the Emmy for the report.

Yes.

Best double featured choice, Home Alone 1.

I would zag hard and cleanse the palate and watch The the good son just because I watched it a few days ago.

I still can't believe that fucking.

Oh, I like this.

Go Home Alone 2, right to the Good Sun.

And that's what came of it.

You might do that tonight.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

He runs up back to the plaza and he comes down and he starts trying to kill Elijah Wood.

Well, in the research, I forgot to mention this.

The dad, who is really determined to have the kid have a career, would only agree to Home Alone 2 if they let him do The Good Son because he wanted him to zag against

the stereotype.

You don't want to be cast as a cute kid.

He was doing pretty well.

I think the slogan for the good son is like evil has many faces and it's just this picture of kevin mcalister ready to murder you i almost did this as my hottest take but it's not even a hot take the good son is my favorite macaulay koken movie you like it better than the home alone movies i do i can tell the second i brought it up your whole body language changed you lit up the good son i enjoy so much that i almost who i decide to do the podcast with i really want to put a lot of thought into it it has to be somebody who likes the movie as much as i like it the the scene at the end is one of the craziest scenes of the last 40 years.

So, we have this right:

she's the woman is holding two sons, the good son and the bad son, off-her adopted

kid who's living with them, or her actual flesh and blood and blood son, and drops the flesh and blood.

She drops her actual son to save this, falls to his death on the rocks, and you see it drop, and it's really dramatic.

I had not moved that movie in a long time, it's insane.

I forgot that she did that.

That doesn't you can't have that in a movie, that's terrible.

He starts dies he starts like a 40 car accident with like fatalities yes doesn't he drown someone too and he has a rubber donkey that he keeps it's an amazing movie he falls down the good son craig you got it craig it's unbelievable it's one of the best movies in the 90s i have not seen the good sun no it's one of the best bad movies in the 90s i should say when in the but it's not even a bad movie it's like well done to the rocks like and yeah's like no that's how macaulay falls in that movie it's really bad i i was shocked when i watched that but you love it good son i'm gonna watch it on my double tree.

You didn't enjoy it.

No, I enjoyed the shit out of it.

I just, it took me a while.

I thought I convinced myself.

Cool outdoor stuff.

The director of that movie, I have this right.

I think he directed Sleeping with the Enemy, too.

I think it's the same guy.

Yeah, you're right.

Yes.

Great run for that guy.

Yeah.

Pretty cool.

Andy Red Zwatne Award.

What happened the next day?

Kevin's parents lose custody.

Just, I don't think there's any way they don't.

I think Kevin has to move to with like his uncle.

Yeah.

Not that uncle from the movie, but not Uncle Frank.

somebody else's he's moving to the the britney spears like a conservatorship or something like there's legal action has to happen yeah an emancipation anything you can't conserve the family what piece of memorability would you want from this movie you think this is weird but i always laugh when marv is getting electrocuted and he turns into a skeleton with a wig on i want that skeleton just have it in the house yeah i'd do it for halloween i'd put it on the front porch and it'd be sitting there like a halloween decoration then i have it somewhere in the basement and i'm like that's the actual marv getting electrocuted i always love that that quick shot of him as a skeleton.

That's what I take.

Well, you take, you're not taking the talk boy, are you?

100%.

You are taking the talk boy.

The original talk boy?

That's probably like a $400,000 piece.

It's probably in the Smithsonian.

When you wanna see the movie crime thing, yeah, that definitely go for like $300,000.

Macaulay's actual talk boy.

The actual talk boy that he used in the movie, that's like $300,000.

That's true.

It's kind of cool.

Coach Finstock Award, best life lesson.

I wrote down it's better to be with someone else than be by yourself, but you feel like the opposite.

So that might actually not be the life lesson.

No, I think he wants to get away.

I think the life lesson is, hey, kids, run away.

It's awesome.

It's so fun.

You'll have the time of your life.

If you hate your family, just run away.

Yeah, just get a credit card and go.

Fine, take a credit.

Kick your dad's credit card and run away.

Kevin walks into the toy store and he starts going, this is my best Christmas ever.

Like he is so happy away from that McAllister house.

So kids, don't like your family?

Just run away.

Pizza, pizza, Coke, fireworks.

It's awesome.

Chocolate, ice cream sundaes.

It's going to be the shit out of some idiots who are trying to hurt him.

He saves some kids.

He's got some weird friends, the Toy Store guy and the homeless lady.

But, like, he's so happy.

Go for a swim, eat some chocolate.

It's great.

And then you'll be accused 12 years later for a bunch of hooker murders

across the country.

I know.

They've all been tied to Kevin McAllister.

A talk boy was seen at two of the scenes of the crimes.

I was worried about McAllister with the United Healthcare guy.

I'm like, is that him in New York?

Is he back in New York again?

Was it Kevin?

Home Alone back in New York.

Craig, what'd you think?

I love Home Alone.

Obviously, seen it a million times.

Seen this maybe, I don't know, four or five times.

It's been a long time.

I'm nervous.

Yeah, I don't like your tone.

I don't like how we're starting.

Look, it's a fun movie.

I think where I land is like, if this was the original, it would have been just as big as the classic and would have been considered basically looked at the same way.

But the first one to me is so much better.

This one, it just has too much sequelitis, to be honest.

It's the same bits, less nuance.

Everything's turned out to 11.

It's just too sweet.

It's like a Ben and Jerry's cake batter that's like the fourth brick to the head.

I know that stuff is silly and you can be like, you have to look past that, but I think it goes a little bit too far where it's like not funny anymore.

There's just so many bits that come back.

It's like, you have to do the mom screaming Kevin.

You have to do that.

Maybe him at the counter doing the, I don't think so.

But like him putting together the shower curtain puppet in literally 10 seconds, the head on fire, the ice cream, the movie quotes.

They should have just come up with new bits.

These are talented.

This is Columbus and Hughes.

Like, come up with new bits.

That's a pretty good take.

It's really hurtful.

Yeah, but I like it.

I like the same.

Play the hits.

It's that you don't go to a foreigner concert and play, come up with some new songs.

No, just play the same shit over and over.

That's why I read that Goldman quote at the top.

It's about sequels are about comfort.

Tony Soprano once said,

Tony Soprano once said the lowest form of conversation is remember when.

And I do think that is what this movie is a little bit.

Wow.

Cred came in.

You like that?

That's what That's good.

I'm not having Raj here.

Damn.

Look at Craig.

I look, they could have kept two stars from Raj.

They could have kept the same vibe.

It could have been like the same movie, just do different jokes.

I don't know why they didn't have a case.

So you don't care about the New York City pieces of this.

No, the New York's great.

The New York's great.

It's more Christmassy, probably even than the first one, just because of the New York vibe.

That's all beautiful.

I just wish it wasn't literally the same jokes for two hours.

I'll be interested 12 years from now when Little Buzz Horbeck is watching one and two, which one he likes more.

It's true.

He's a three-star recruit.

People are getting on the radar.

He's already on Snoop Dogg's youth football team.

Absolutely.

He should be on the Snoop team.

We're looking out for Buzz Horlback.

I know people in the league.

Buzz Horlback's going to be amazing.

Yes.

At least name your dog.

Do you have a dog yet?

No.

At least do the dog, Buzz.

All right.

Kyle Brandt, what do you got to plug?

Anything?

I'm also doing anything with HBO.

I did a children's show, Human vs.

Hamsters.

Competition show.

Me and Sarah Sherman from a Saturday Night Live.

We hosted it.

It's on.

Yeah.

It says stream on Macs right now.

Yeah, for real.

It's a show for like little kids.

It's a competition show.

It's she and I.

We shot it last spring in Canada.

And it's like the same people who make Ninja Warrior and stuff, but it's like goofy people racing against hamsters and giant mazes.

It sounds insane and ridiculous, but my kids are addicted to it.

It's really good.

Do you have to pretend you're missing a leg or you get to use both of your legs?

They let me do both legs, but I offered to do it.

I can do the limp.

It's like I do an accident.

I can do the limp.

They said, no, we don't want that for this project.

Let's keep it clean.

I didn't do it.

Wow.

That's pretty cool.

Yeah.

Sarah Sherman was amazing.

She's blown up on this.

That's funny.

Yeah.

Amazing.

So cool to work with.

Loved her.

Great.

Thanks, ma'am.

And football.

Good morning, football.

CBS, NFL today.

10 Takes podcast, all that.

I don't plug all the stuff here.

I come here to do Home Alone 2.

I did just plug it, but thank you for asking.

Good morning, football with Straggs and Akbar and Jamie.

This podcast was produced by Craig Korbach.

Sure was.

Gahau, Jack, thank you.

We'll be back

one more in 2024, and that's it.

We'll see if the Chiefs are still undefeated at that point.

Who knows?

Not undefeated.

Or not undefeated.

One undefeated.

I mean, one fire here, Craig.

One last defeated.

You got in those poetic Tony Soprano quotes.

You could have.

That's the man right there.

Thanks, Craig.

Kyle, good to see you.

You too, bud.

This episode is brought to you by Warner Brothers Pictures.

One battle after another is coming to theater September 26th.

Don't miss legendary writer, director, and producer.

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They almost teamed together in Boogie Dance, actually, alongside award-winning actors like Sean Penn, Tiana Taylor, and Benicio Del Toro in this hilarious action-packed adventure following Bob Ferguson, an ex-revolutionary on a mission.

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