‘The Legend of Billie Jean’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan

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The rewatchables brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network.

You can find the watch.

You sure can.

Yeah.

We did 400 movies for the rewatchables.

Our 400th was American Gangster last week.

Yeah.

It's football season.

It's the Monday of week one.

All anyone cares about is football and Steve Ballmer's illegal illegal pay cycles, possibly.

My green bank that's going bankrupt.

Yeah.

How's your aspiration stock?

Is it bad?

You know what?

I think they're saying fair's fair, but who knows?

Well, we decided there is no better chance for a one for us than this week.

And it's a 2B classic.

It's gotten to the point when I go on Tubi.

And by the way, this is not sponsored by Tubi.

In fact, I don't think Tubi even likes us.

Why not?

I don't know.

They've never really.

Because you tried to change their slogan to go Toby.

Right.

Every time I go there, they're like, hey, Legend of Billie Gene.

Yeah.

You haven't clicked on this in a while.

And I've watched it probably 700 times when I was a teenager and in college.

And now we're finally doing it.

Legend of Billie Gene because fair is fair.

Here we go.

All right, CR, just here's my first take.

Just take me back.

Just take me back to the mid-80s when life was simple.

Yeah.

And you just had malls and we could just have people get innocently shot in the shoulder and become heroes and then just get away scot-free.

And I just miss it.

It's like one of the most nostalgic movie-going experiences I can have right now is to watch, is to watch this.

There's a run of movies from 84 to 86

that is essentially Last Starfighter, Maximum Overdrive, The Explorers, Big Trouble in Little China, Rad,

and The Legend of Billie Gene that I think I had on constantly from 1985, whenever we first got a VHS player, through when cable got introduced at my house, which I think was in the mid-late 80s.

These movies were just the wallpaper.

They were on all the time.

The soundtracks are buried into like their brainworms in my head.

And I remember every single scene and every single nuance.

And they still hit now.

And it's like, they're not American cinematic classics, but they are like my VHS classics.

Yeah, there's like, I would have thrown in 40 to 45 other movies other than the ones you listed just because I was watching like Karate Kid, Teen Wolf, all those.

They all had music.

They all had a hero.

They're all kind of innocent.

There was all like these over-the-top villains.

They all had a lot of flaws, which was fine.

Sure.

This movie has some flaws.

Like I was surprised the nitpicks.

I was like, has anyone ever picked nits with legend of Billy Jean like this?

You guys just let vigilante justice run amok?

Yeah.

And the most important thing, other than the theme that we're going to talk about in a second, was just,

I was just in love with Helen Slater.

Yeah.

I was in high school.

She was 22 when she filmed this movie playing a 16-year-old, but she was just, I was just like, I'm in.

I'll follow this person to the end of the season.

and she she was in supergirl right supergirl and then this one and was in a couple other ones but uh she's in there christian slater we had no history with him yet he's the little brother film debut peter coyote had been bouncing around in the 80s for a while and it's just it was a movie that kind of came and went i think it was 14th when it when it was released the first week yeah and then was on cable for the next 15 years straight yeah it was

perfect link for tnt tbs where you could just do two hours it was on hbo was on cinemax It just was never not on.

What is it?

An hour 35?

An hour 35.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We told Craig, told him, I think

congrats on your new camera angle, by the way.

Thank you.

We told Craig, 1985,

Legend of Billie Gene.

Don't read anything about it.

And he looked it up.

What was it?

101 minutes?

It's 100.

It's an hour 35, 95 minutes, 97 minutes.

95 minutes.

He was like, I like that.

I thought it was going to be about tennis.

It wasn't.

I wasn't even about Billy G.

King or something.

Yeah.

But

what's interesting 40 years later, watch, I mean, there's two major themes that we had, weren't talking about in the 80s, but there's a female empowerment hero piece to this

that I think I liked when I watched it.

But as the years pass,

dare I say ahead of its time, it's like this.

It's Sarah Connor.

It's even Joyce Heiser and just one of the guys like flipping tables tables and trying to show her newspaper editor that she could get a good story.

But there wasn't a lot of these.

And this was probably the most famous one.

Yeah, it's funny to go back and watch this through 2025 Eyes, both for the feminism angle and also like the viral celebrity angle and like the idea of somebody becoming like an overnight sensation and taking over.

Now in the 1980s, it was more of a like a local thing that would then explode nationally.

Yeah.

Now it can just be instantaneously, you go viral for something and then like you're the biggest thing online for two days and then everybody forgets you.

But with the

part about like the female empowerment, it's it's wild, but like there's so much casual misogyny in this movie.

The whole thing basically gets rolling because Mr.

Pyat tries to like sexually assault her and then flip it on her.

Yeah.

And that's really what, and now the whole time she's just like, I just want to get paid back for the scooter.

We're not getting even getting into you being a deviant.

Yeah.

Because that was probably taken for granted that that's what guys were like back then, in some ways.

Yeah, there's no question, she's navigating this

misogynist, uh, pretty like hairy world, yeah, but she's just like, This is the world I'm in, and I just know, kind of know it, I can read this guy, I know what to do, me, and the balls, yeah,

but now it would be like, you know, this would obviously be a completely different movie, but uh, it's weird to think that these characters made sense in 1985, but they kind of did.

It's like, this is right, totally get it, yeah, complete scumbag taking a crack at a 16-year-old in the attic of a store.

Yeah, uh, and we were like, wow, this is horrifying.

What, like, this guy's Annibal Lecter.

But back then, I was like, ah, there's multiple cases of pretty casual child abuse in this movie where you're just like, oh man, Potter's getting tooled up by her mom again.

Right?

That's not like, hey, stop everything, call child services.

It's like, yeah, yeah,

yeah, even the way the adults talk about her,

basically, Peter Coyote's character, the police officer, and then in the the Mr.

Pyatt, where they're like, You're a good-looking girl, Billie Jean.

Yeah, she's 16.

Yeah.

And they're just, they're just like batting off for Craig.

Were you taken aback by that?

Not for the 80s, right?

Okay.

Yeah.

They used to at this point.

Yeah, that's true.

We have indoctrinated flames of the 80s.

That's right.

For the last five years.

1980s movies.

Yeah.

I think one of the things I really loved about this movie and still really enjoy when I, when I watch, I had such a great time re-watching this.

And it's not like I hadn't seen it in the last, I don't know, five years, but

she's such a good good character.

It's so weird to say this is a well-drawn character because this is such a dumb movie.

But at the first half hour, she's like really innocent and shy.

And she's like, yeah, obviously like coming into her own as a woman and guys are looking at her a certain way and she's still getting used to that.

Like even when the four guys are hitting on her at the beginning.

Oh, and Hubie's like

making milkshake straw.

Yeah, and she's like, I'm kind of flirting, but I'm kind of horrified.

And then by the end, she's the fucking badass.

Oh, it's like all this stuff had like, had like

seasoned her in a way for how to actually make the world.

And I do think at that time, like, there was like,

you know, obviously Pat Benatar was a pretty big artist, but like gets a huge hit out of this movie with Invincible.

But like Pat Benatar, Madonna, like there were kind of like these pop culture figures that weren't as traditionally,

not necessarily not.

beautiful or not, but like they didn't present as traditional.

Yeah, they were kind of badass hypocrites.

Yeah, they were badass.

They had like one glove and a spiked haircut or whatever.

And it was like things were changing a little bit.

I think like that you could see that like people were becoming a little bit more self-possessed through the images that they were seeing in the middle.

Stevie Lauper helped.

Of course.

Pat Benatar.

Yeah.

Yeah, Madonna.

And it was also right around the time when they were figuring out how to use famous pop music people,

famous artists, whatever, to kind of, to kind of supercharge a movie.

Sure.

Right.

And then Top Gun, they really put it all together.

But 85, you have Vision Quest, which they put Madonna in with the crazy for you.

Yeah.

Great soundtrack.

This was like, it's basically the stars of the movie: are Helen Slater and Pat Benatar.

Yes.

And they play the song three full times in 95 minutes.

Yeah.

And it even by the way, I could have gone for four.

It's

used as like a theme in the score itself.

Like they'll go into notes from Invincible.

Yeah.

That like, it's just a very wise way to kind of build it up.

And, but that kind of speaks to this movie being right on the cusp of a change in media where, I mean, of course, like people used to, Barbara Streisand would do the soundtrack for a movie that she might be in and she would sing the theme song or whatever.

But this was really like, hey, we can put this on MTV.

We can try and sell this girl as an icon, Pat Benatar.

It was a sea change for that stuff.

It was like I was telling Craig the other day.

This bloody road remains a mystery.

That's That's what they say with.

What are we waiting for?

That's Aaron Rodgers' locker room speech.

That's when he came out holding the flag in that first chance game.

That song is a banger.

I have a lot of thoughts about the music in this movie.

So you mentioned the viral celebrity piece.

Once upon a time, we made the case.

And I think we cemented it.

And I think it's become fact and gospel that pump up the volume created podcast.

I think this movie created the internet.

Can I just say, I think that might be the most used trope on this podcast in the history of this podcast?

I think Sean has said that three or four times, right?

The created the internet?

Yeah.

Where he'll be like, Daniel Plainview created the internet.

This whole her becoming a viral celebrity with the Fairest Fair hashtag and the thing and the merchandising.

And it's just like,

I don't think the movie realizes this because this is not, I wouldn't say this was, you know, this wasn't a Paul Thomas Anderson production, production, but this movie does see this world coming

that is about to happen with Donna Rice and,

you know, Monica Lewinsky eventually.

But there's also a lot of people,

all these people.

It points out a couple of things that I think are really important.

One are, first of all, we've kind of like slighted this movie a couple of times, and I do think it's really silly in places.

It looks way better than it has any business looking.

Did we slight it?

I think it should have been nominated for an Oscar.

What do you mean?

It was amazing but if we slighted it i apologize you know you are finding a generation of kids who are obsessed with television like it's yarley smith's character they're like she's just obsessed with what she sees in tv she's always like i saw it on tv you think i'll be on tv and then the other thing happens later in the movie which is kids are starting to get their hands on video cameras Yeah, and they're starting to tape stuff more and less.

Including this kid right here, Bill Simmons.

Had a video camera and and the Honda Elite scooter.

This movie really resonated with me.

Inside of you are two wolves, and it's Christian Slater.

Yeah,

I had the camera in high school.

It weighed 25 pounds.

It couldn't have been heavier and more unwieldy.

And you brought it around, you taped, and you had these big giant videotapes.

Yeah, so you bait.

And then you have this Keith Gordon character who's probably the first kid in Corpus Christi or whatever, who's like, let's start filming stuff ourselves.

Let's speak back to television.

Like, we'll send this tape to the TV stations.

We'll take control of this narrative.

Craig, how expensive do you think those cameras were back then?

Like, like, not adjusting for inflation in 1985, how much do I think that cost?

Yeah, I have no idea.

A hundred dollars.

I mean, that guy's AV setup was sick.

No, uh,

doing this from memory, but I'm gonna say at least like $500.

Yeah, I can't say that.

Yeah, they were like,

it was a luxury item.

Yeah.

I don't know what the equivalent would be.

Like, in I remember I got a Sony high eight in high school in the 90s, and now it was like, this is the only present you're ever going to get for the rest of your life.

Yeah.

And it was like, if you, by the way, if you, if you dropped it or accidentally hit it, the thing was just, there was no way to fix it.

It was just gone.

The tapes were really expensive.

They were 90.

The batteries were like an hour.

Yeah.

You know, and it was just

20 pounds.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There are all these different ways it could go wrong.

We filmed, I did a student project in high school and we filmed a movie about our school that was 40 minutes called the called the wick hiker based on the hitchhiker the hbo show

and we filmed it with with my camera uh-huh and uh it just was like we've got to get the it was almost like the sun's setting we got to get this shot now that was what it was like with these cameras it's like we have 32 minutes before this thing dies like cupola and the vocal yeah it's like go go go see

action

Did you have editing equipment?

I had the two VCRs and

plug it in with all these like red dial that you could move back and forth.

Yeah, I was pretty good with this stuff, but then I don't know what happened.

Now I can like barely work a remote.

We have experts now.

You'd have to edit the stuff, edit it the other way.

And then, you know, it was just a huge pain in the ass.

We had no equipment back then.

So that kid's set up for 19 because they filmed this movie came out in 85.

So they really probably filmed it late 84.

Yeah, because that kid's set up with they had security cameras in the house.

Like nobody had that back then.

Yeah.

And he had like a full kind of like like basically home theater set up for 1984

fair is fair

great slogan yeah um i think i think gavin newsom

maybe as he heads toward toward battling the trump infrastructure maybe could start doing the fair is fair honestly if there are worse slogans to use yeah fair is fair uh the director matthew robbins He said, I was attracted to the screenplay because I hadn't seen anything like it.

The empowerment of a female.

Everybody in the movie was young and powerless.

The assumptions were being made by all the adult males.

It's kind of a force field the kids are up against.

So that was one theme.

And then the other one he said was, because he wrote the Sugarland Express with Goldie Hahn.

That was Spielberg's first big movie.

He said, I was fascinated with notoriety getting confused with fame, which was exactly the same issue in the Sugarland Express.

That's a really interesting concept.

Notoriety getting confused with fame really starts right here in the mid 80s and goes through where all these people eventually like culminating in the OJ trial.

Someone definitely has a thesis paper that's like from Billie Jean to Hawk Tua, you know, like right.

I literally have that in my notes, but that she's the Hawk Tua of 1985.

My flex was like the earnestness,

my flex category was what happens the next day.

And I was like, I can't help but think about what would have happened in 2025.

Oh, she would have just gotten she would have gone on the Hoctua podcast, probably gotten to deal with like the unwell network, and then is like releasing music by the time she's 25.

She probably goes back to Corpus Christie and becomes like a school teacher

against the measles vaccine.

Well, Kato Kalin in the OJ trial, I feel like was the culmination of the start of this movie all the way, where Kato Kalin just became famous.

And he, you know, in the OJ trial, he was just this dude that lived in the guest house.

And he brought nothing to the table.

He was like a wannabe actor.

He'd been in a couple things and then became like actually truly famous and was on the tonight show and was in game shows and was being cast in movies.

In 85, that would have been inconceivable, but people were starting to realize like you could use cable TV to become famous right away.

Yeah, I think the cool thing about this movie too is that is it starts

when after

she starts to go on the lamb, the first reaction of like the kind of community is like kids are running amok and we got to put a stop to these kids who are just like terrorizing business owners and stuff.

And it's really like whether it's organic or not, but it's really a youth explosion that leads to her becoming this folk hero.

And then the haircut obviously like makes it into a fashion statement.

There's another piece to this movie that was really particularly the 80s.

I'm interested from Craig's standpoint, if he feels like it exists now, like that

kids were the good guys and adults were just bad.

And they did

breakfast club.

Adults are bad.

They don't understand us.

They take advantage of us.

In some cases, we're threatened by them physically or sexually.

And adults are the bad people, but you have adults making movies about this.

Like this doesn't really exist now in the same way.

I think it's less ageist now and it's more about wealth.

I think it's like the Louisi Mangioni and the United Healthcare.

Like, I think that is the version of.

the what's going on it's haves and have-nots rather than yeah versus young and also back then it was kids versus adults adults don't understand

and root for the kids i think there's also an element that this might be simplifying it too much i don't know if you felt this way but like in the 80s

it definitely felt like when you were kids you just couldn't wait to grow up like i you know like you really really

you know you wanted to meet girls or you wanted to i couldn't wait to have sex thought about that a lot

I couldn't wait to get a blind.

I really thought about that a lot.

I bet Ellen Slayer really great.

It would be great having sex with another person.

I mean, but also like the music that was cool to like your older brother or cousin or the kids who were older than you, that's the music you wanted to like.

Like you wanted to get out of being a kid.

That's always been the case.

But now I think that there's more stuff for kids to almost stay perpetually young.

Like they're served more culture that it's like, yeah, why would I ever just, I would never reject Taylor Swift.

I can just listen to Taylor Swift for the rest of my life.

Like Disney adults.

There's like an exact era of these people who have kept the things they loved as children and just continue to like.

Or they can just keep watching that stuff because it's saved in perpetuity rather than when we were young.

And it was like, well, you can keep renting Goonies, but it's not as easily accessible as it is now, where you'd just be like, oh, I have it on my phone and I can fall asleep to it every night.

And the flip side, Millie Bobby Brown is now a 45-year-old.

I don't know if you've seen her.

She looks like a

10-year-long Today Show anchor.

Yeah.

She's like 22.

Well, I got to do it, CR.

Apex Mountain for hottest mid-80s high school babes that teenage Bill loved.

Yeah.

Right.

This is 40 years ago.

I still feel like it's fair game to talk about these people.

I'm talking about the love that I had.

Helen Slater was 22 when she made this movie.

Yeah, I'm talking about.

I'm not talking about me now.

Yeah.

I'm talking about the love that I had

in the mid-80s, the feelings that percolated inside me, and I narrowed it down to five.

Did you give me a fucking Carl Malone cup while you're talking about this?

The mailman.

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't even think about that.

Jesus.

Oh, no.

That was accidental.

Why do you have a Carl Malone cup?

It's from the Dream Team collection.

I bet to give you Dr.

J.

I had a Dr.

J cup for you.

We switched cups.

Well, it's almost better that you don't have the Carl Moon

for this topic.

Yeah, but I'm going for how I felt in the 80s.

Yeah.

I already mentioned Kelly Preston and Secret Admirer and Mischief.

Helen Slater and Billie Jean, Joyce Heiser, and just one of the guys.

I think she was like 30 in that movie in real life, but playing at high schooler.

Elizabeth Schuman Crowded Kid, we've discussed, and Mia Sarah, Ferris Bueller.

Yeah.

Those were the five.

I also was pretty into Jennifer Gray, too.

Oh, Jennifer Gray and

Ferris Bueller.

Yeah.

There were others, but just for like these, these characters were all in high school.

I was in high school, and I loved all of them.

Yes.

What about Rebecca De Mornay, Risky Business?

Was she there?

Not accessible.

Yeah, she was like a 19-year-old prostitute.

I don't, she doesn't count as a high school character.

She was like from another galaxy in that movie.

Yeah.

Just couldn't get there with Molly Ringwald.

Never, even though she was in multiple high school movies back then.

I remember like Sean Young in stripes, but she was a little adult.

She was an adult.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, this had to be like in your age where you felt like when like uh was Winona Ryder Lucas, yeah, like you could meet her, yeah.

It was like this person, oh, and then uh, the other one, I guess this counts in mid-80s, is was uh, Amanda Peterson, Can't Buy Me Love, because we were the exact same age as her in that movie.

Um, so anyway, it was quite an era.

Helen Slater is in that mix, she sure is, yeah.

She, if we had dream team cups for that era, she would have had one,

and uh, we should do that.

That's good, those would be good cups, that That wouldn't be weird at all.

7-Eleven Dream Team mid-80s.

Yeah, I want to get a bunch of teenage girls on cups.

Isn't that cool?

No, Bill.

Yeah, no, the girls are

when you were in high school.

Yeah, Bill's not enough.

No, it's retroactive.

It's fine.

She did Supergirl Billie Jean, Ruthless People, Secret of My Success with Michael J.

Fox,

and then City Slickers.

And

I think she was a pretty fairly serious actress, but that was kind of her.

And then she went back to school.

Yeah.

I I think she went to like do other stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then Christian Slater,

this is his first big movie.

He's in Name of the Rose, Sean Connery.

Good movie, actually.

Tucker Man in his Dream, and then Does the Heathers pump up the volume bliss?

And it's off to the races, Heathers.

So you could see the pieces in here.

It's fun to actually watch 15-year-old Christian Slater.

Yeah, I mean, I, for the longest time, thought they were actually related.

They were not.

He was in love with her while they made it.

Rightfully so.

And yeah, I read that in the research, and I'm like, do I even put this in the document that 15-year-old Christian Slater was in love with 22-year-old Helen Slater when they filmed a movie together for four months?

Like, if he hadn't been in love with her, it was like, Do you have blood in your body?

I found out they aren't siblings right now.

I thought they were siblings.

Yeah, yeah, no, they weren't.

I think that was a confusing part of this.

You know, I don't have because they kind of look, they're both like platinum blonde in this movie, they look so good.

He died as hair, though, yeah.

You know how you were like, you started this podcast by saying, Take me back, you know?

Yeah, um, let's just do a list of the most popular movies of July of 1985.

I can't wait.

Number one, Back to the Future.

Wow.

Number two, Cocoon.

Pale Rider.

Oh.

Rambo, First Blood, Part Two.

Sure.

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.

San Elmo's Fire.

This is just in the box.

San Elmo's Fire.

Yeah, this is just stuff that was at the movies.

It wasn't necessarily released then.

E.T.

Goonies, European Vacation.

Emerald Forest, Silverado, Pritzy's Honor, Fletch, The Explorers.

I know.

Beverly Old's Old's Cop, View to a Kill, Brewster's Millions, Red Sonia, Day of the Dead, Legend of Billie Gene.

And you left out like Vision Quest, just one of the guys.

Oh, like so many other movies came out during the course of the year.

We just had it all figured out.

Well, there was just volume.

This is the thing: the movies are actually in a really good place right now, but there's just not enough of them.

There's not enough in the movie theater where you're like, I could go to the theater like four or five times in a week if I wanted to, or all month, like I could could go to the movies.

It's like more like an event.

You're like, I can't wait.

You just want the four-receiver offense and a lot of passing and a lot of plays and hoping to get lucky.

Or I actually would be cool if we got two really good receivers and never passed to them.

You don't.

I was going to say,

we're in a space now where the Eagles' offense of 42 seconds per play, run play,

just chewing up clock.

That's movies in 2025.

Back then, we're just chucking the ball.

Yes.

It's like flat shore.

Chevy Chase, yeah, let's make it.

Got it.

Here's 10 million.

This was produced by

John Peters and Peter Guber.

Peter Guber, who's still kicking.

Yeah.

Part owner of the Warriors and still producing.

And John Peters immortalized in Lacroche Pizza.

John Peters, hairdresser, Barbara Streisand's hairdresser, becomes a movie producer.

These guys end up crushing it in the 80s.

not with this movie um

but crush in the 80s and then sony gives them an incredible amount of money to run Sony and Entertainment, and it's a disaster.

There's a good book written about it.

And John Peters never quite happens again, but a character.

Yes.

And Matthew Robbins said that John Peters' biggest contribution was being completely obsessed with Helen Slater's hair in the movie and what the haircut was going to look like when she has her famous haircut.

What's producing?

And

he said it was a gigantic issue for him.

So there you go.

no budget recorded for this movie uh yeah it only made like what three four million it made 3.1 million yeah which is i don't know craig top top seven least grossing movies we've done on the rewatchables what was pump up the volume uh it did it was not i think that was

3 million you think i think so i we we've rarely done movies that made less than like five million did kicking and screaming the noah bomb back movie make that did not make money yeah that was in like 11 theaters it feels like It made $20 from you and me and another 10 from Greenwald

and then 100 from the Bomback film.

Kicking and screaming didn't even make a million.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

That might be the lowest.

No budget recorded and no Roger Ebert review.

Where was he?

Raj was like, I'm good.

I actually think Raj would have really liked this movie.

He would have loved the female empowerment stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

A lot to discuss in the categories.

We're going to take a break.

This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

Life is full of decisions, big and small.

Like, let's not throw to A.J.

Brown this week.

That's a small decision.

Big decision.

Let's try to beat the Cowboys.

Sometimes you make a decision you can really,

really stand behind.

I'm trying to think, like, I guess when we formed a ringer

and we were like, we feel like we can pull this off.

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Let's get to the categories.

So

we got most rewatchable scene.

Would you throw the opening credits in here with the Divinals Boys in Town?

Number one thing I have here, opening credits.

Yeah.

In the running for a most underrated mid-80s song.

Yeah.

And it's also just like you're immediately like, They shot this movie entirely on location.

So like they use like something like 85 different real locations.

It just feels like you're immediately transported.

And even though they shot it in the winter,

you're like, it is hot summer.

Like this is so authentic feeling.

It's funny because Vision Quest starts with,

I think

it's either Journey or John Waite, but it's the same thing.

Like, I'm in somewhere near Seattle.

I'm outdoors.

I'm watching a guy run and there's a kick-ass song playing.

It's like, all right, you got me.

Yep.

This one, same thing where we're just like, I'm in some weird part of Texas.

There's guys and there's a gas station and there's a scooter.

You just kind of get the feeling like, what's going on?

It's like this guy, obviously, he's very proud of his scooter, but these four jerks are chasing him around and his sister's hot and like, you know.

And then Huby steals the scooter.

We get the whole

swimming scene, which was a big thing back in high school, way back when.

Next one.

Billie Jean gets harassed

by Mr.

Pyatt, who is so fucking evil in this scene.

And then gets to come up.

You know what?

The funniest thing about this, I was going to save this earlier, but I have to mention it now.

Is that in my memory, Mr.

Pyatt was like an oil baron, and he sells like a seashell and souvenir store on the boardwalk.

Right?

What's like actually probably didn't have $600?

It was just like, actually, like, this guy is just like a piece of shit towards Trent.

Right.

We're going to have a little arrangement, a layaway plan.

It's like, oh my God, this guy's disgusting.

She gets out of that.

I always like when somebody picks up a gun

in a movie.

No, in a movie.

No, I don't.

And they're like, hey, what's this?

And you just know somebody's going to get shot immediately.

Oh, it's like, oh, boy, here we go.

Somebody's taking a bullet.

Yeah.

Usually like the bullet right like.

That looks like it was like an inch above his heart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

With these movies, sometimes when somebody gets innocently shot, but they're fine, when you actually think about getting shot.

That was much more of an 80s thing.

It was like, oh, I just have like oh, my arms are.

There's two spots up here that you could get shot and maybe it's okay other than that you're getting a shattered shoulder you're getting shot in the heart and dying immediately you're getting a shattered collarbone yeah and what's the response time for corpus christi paramedics like that's a lot of blood loss he's like i lost two pints right

uh

the mall exchange yeah the mall exchange gone wrong with a sped up rebel yell by billy idol yeah

Chekhov's marbles.

This could have just been the whole movie.

Yeah.

I could have spent 30 minutes in the mall.

The Sunrise Mall and Corpus Christi.

And I just, I wanted some more stores.

We only really get Florsheim in the background.

Yeah, I don't know where Spencer's gifts was.

I guess they were probably in KB Toys when they were getting all the G.I.

Joe walkie-talkies and stuff.

KB Toys, there should have been like some sort of foot locker type.

You got to have an Orange Julius store.

Yeah, where was Orange Julius?

Where was the weird pizza place?

But

something about the malls back then, I don't know why people people just haven't tried to recreate that.

Why they haven't recreated that?

I know Craig, it's near and dear to his heart.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, just in general, the mid-80s, the mall era, it's like the Duffer brothers cashed out on this with Stranger Things.

It's the most nostalgic era to go back to.

It sounds wonderful.

I caught the tail end of malls in my childhood.

I used to go to the mall in the Bay Area that was near me, but I guess kids still go a little bit, but it's just hard.

Nobody shops in person anymore.

There's no reason to go.

Half of them are shut down.

Maybe they'll come back like movie theaters did.

People are going to to movie theaters again.

Maybe malls will come back.

Because here it's like the outdoor malls kind of pervert your idea of what they're supposed to be.

But yeah, maybe.

I don't know.

A couple good things in this part.

The two mustache guys that worked for Peter Coyote.

There's like a whole separate movie going on with those guys.

At one point, he does the midnight run, like couple punched to the chest.

Yeah.

And then they're just, they just seem like it's a buddy cop that they just decided not to address.

And then Hubie coming out of the plants is fucking hilarious.

Yeah.

I can't wait to talk about him.

Please.

Billie Jean watching Joan of Arc get set on fire and unleashing her new haircut for the videotaping.

It's an iconic scene.

Yeah.

And then that's where she, you know, they meet Lloyd there.

You get some really great hallmarks of a rich guy house.

Highlights.

There's no lights on anywhere.

If you're super rich, you apparently don't use electricity anymore.

You've transcended it.

There's security cameras all over the place.

You can't see anything because everything's pitch black.

He's got the slide from his bedroom into the pool.

It's like one of the great dreams of my life is to have that.

Yeah, except nobody would ever actually have that.

I know.

It's probably a fire hazard.

Can you imagine when we were doing my house if I said to my wife?

So I'm thinking out of Ben's bedroom, a giant slide.

It's the most 13-year-old invention ever.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's the best.

But it's like a perfect, like, probably divorced dad for sure.

Just being like, I got to buy this kid's affection.

So when I got some money, like, yeah, it's Corpus Christie.

Like, they'll do whatever.

Also, for Keith Gordon's character, for being a pretty cool guy for the most part.

Yeah.

But yet is also like basically, who's the guy who did the Michael Jackson thriller, all the creatures for that?

Oh, Stan, Stan Winston?

No, the guy, I can't remember the name, but he's.

Oh, Vincent Price.

No, no, the guy who like made the mask.

I can't remember, who did American Werewolf in London and Thriller, all those.

He basically has this weird horror movie side.

Yeah.

And it's really weird.

Well, it's not like normal weird.

It's not like come to my room.

That was what horror was back then was like weird guys who would read.

But imagine that guy taking a girl back to his room that he's been dating.

Well, was it really like Rick Baker?

Rick Baker.

Rick Baker.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, come to my room.

You can see my 20 horror movie.

Well, I get the impression he spends a lot of time on his own.

I mean, Lloyd probably has like a nice chunk of change in his pocket.

And for the amount of time he spends, I had this as a nipple later.

For the amount of time he spends on his own, he sure knows how to like vibe with the fucking super hot Billie Jean.

Yeah.

And is also wearing a pretty cool suit when she shows up.

Yeah.

That character is all over the place.

It's like,

is this guy a loner dork?

Is he cool?

What is he?

Billie Jean's tape getting played in the police station with the Ferris fairs, just great.

And the little kid doing the arms.

I think that's a really good scene, the actual, like, her talking to camera.

Oh, yeah.

Mr.

Pat,

you sleeves.

I put in Crazy Couple chases Billie Jean and shoots at guns at her for the ransom.

I had that for one stage of the worst, but yeah.

Well, it's just so insane.

I kind of enjoy it.

Yeah.

Like, like, he's like, I'm going to shoot the tires.

It shoots through the windshield twice.

But it also is like kind of indicative of how these stories tend to get a grip on people and drive them kind of crazy.

Um,

I think this is my winner.

Billie Jean gets exchanged around Texas as Pat Benatar cranks Invincible for five minutes.

Also, Kid Cutty Pursuit of Happiness word best needle drop by far.

It's like she calls

the cops to kind of she's like, I'm going on my own.

There's I don't need anyone attached to me.

And then it's like

this bloody road remains a mystery.

there are so many great 80s cars in that scene like there's like a celica there's like a good mazda um i don't what are we waiting for

also like

how did this exchange network work with i don't internet i don't know with no cell phones what's going on i mean it's pretty cool though it's pretty cool I don't ask questions.

I loved it.

Yeah.

Then there's the one guy with the motorcycle.

Yeah.

Who's like, like, he's in the Sons of Anarchy, but looks like Fabio.

Then at one point, she goes downstairs.

To a rave.

Yeah.

And that's going to be a rave.

Whole thing.

And it's basically a live podcast.

No, I think it was.

It's like a Billie Gene Davies sponsored by State Farm

tonight on the Billie Gene Davies show.

Today I'm going to talk to my brother Binks about a scooter.

But yeah, so everyone applauds.

They go nuts.

What's the next hour

there after that?

Meet and greet, step and repeat.

Just check, hey,

good luck.

Yeah.

Great to see you.

And then Billie Jean burns down Pyatt's store.

Joan of Arc burns down.

People sadly throw Billie Gene merchandise into

the fire.

Yeah.

And the director's like, should we do Invincible for a third time?

Yeah.

Let's do that.

John Peters is like, yes.

The director's like, what about Love as a Battlefield?

Maybe we switch Benatar?

And they're like, nope, nope.

Invincible.

We paid for Invincible.

You can use it.

So what do you have for most rewatchable?

Her coming out of the scene at Lloyd's house, like her coming out of the house and making the tape the first time.

And that's got my favorite line of the movie where the Potter systems are like putters like, oh my God, you look.

And then Christian Slayer's like, you look famous.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

there you go.

That's when the internet was created right there.

That created Twitter.

Steve Waskiak was like, That

we gotta do that.

I have an idea.

What's the most 1985 thing about this movie?

I mean, the answer is everything, but

some nominees: the key musical moments for Pat Benatar, the Divinos, Billy Idol.

Yeah,

the Honda Elite Scooter.

This is right when it was really climbing

in Pyatt's store.

There's a huge stand of Panama Jack sunscreen

with like negative five SPF.

It's basically putting gasoline on your body, pure peanut oil.

I don't know if I think Panama Jack, I think that it's all been out loud.

What if Kennedy's like, we gotta bring back Panama Jack?

That's a great American company.

We need tanner people.

We see

at one point, gas is a dollar and five cents.

That jumped out.

That was probably high.

Yeah.

We've seen this in a couple other movies we've done.

Multiple people who don't know each other watching a wall of TVs in a store.

Yeah.

I want to go back to that.

Yeah.

And then, like, that being how you found out about like major news.

Yeah, how you found out about major news.

Yeah.

An authentic beta movie camera, I think, is the winner.

I do want to shout out Hubie's shorts.

in the scene when they steal the bike.

We called them back in the day jams, or at least we did where I live.

The shorts, they were like, had like these crazy patterns.

They almost looked like they'd been electrocuted.

It was like, it was also like

indicative of in the summer, if you were a kid, you wear your swim trunks all day long.

Yeah, you never know.

You never know when you might swim.

Right.

But they were like, they were like, they could go as swim swim trunks, but you could also just wear them when you went out.

Yeah.

They all had like weird designs and colors.

And this was a two-year run that I can't really explain.

Yeah, it was a day to night.

It was okay to wear the beach, but it was also okay to wear the chilies.

You missed the biggest 1985 thing but i can't believe we haven't talked about it yet what's here jimmy j judge c101 talk radio oh yeah just taking calls about local crime and weather and playing hot tunes

it's like Five years later, that makes no sense.

Also, the only thing anyone in all of Corpus Christi is constantly listening to is Jimmy J.

it's how binks finds out that they have to go on the run it's like they listen to it all the time in the car i don't think i ever realized until this viewing of this movie they never leave corpus christie yeah like they don't even get out of town right

how big is corpus christie like london i know

What was the most 1985 thing for you?

What jumped out watching it, Craig?

Oh, man.

I mean, her hair probably, the haircut choice has to be the most 80s thing in the show.

Yeah.

I got to say, Jimmy J.

Judge is up there with my favorite movie radio DJs with Clint and Play Misty for me.

Oh.

Stephen Wright, DJ in Reservoir Dogs.

Yeah.

Was it Lynn Thigpen and the Warriors?

Don't forget about Ellen Barkin and the fan.

Ellen Barkin and the fan and then playing the fabulous sports baby.

Adrian Barbeau and the fog.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

That's a good one.

What's age the best?

Mr.

Pyatt is just an amazing 80s villain.

I don't think he's gotten enough credit for how disgusting he was in every respect.

Really, really like well-drawn out.

I fucking hate this guy.

I'm glad his store is burning down by the end of the movie.

And also, like,

it's perfect that he actually has this store that he has because that's the guy who would get t-shirts printed up as fast as possible.

I had exchange scenes in an 80s mall going wrong.

Yeah.

Feels like a recurring theme.

Like, we'll meet there, 12.30.

Meet me in public somewhere.

Always like places for the cops to hide, and there's plants and weird stores, and then chases and escalators, and people can hop from the escalator going down and the one going up.

Always worked.

What'd you have?

I had a few more.

Young Christian Slater.

Yeah.

Billie Jean's haircut becoming a local phenomenon.

It's pretty good.

Yeah.

And I love

in the mall after the exchange goes bad, the local TV doing man on the street responses.

And the woman's just like, they're just picking on her because she's a lady and he goes like there you have a woman's perspective right the female perspective he's like kind of poo-pooing it off he's like all right

uh i had

any time in a movie when people shoplift with iou you notes yeah

that i don't think it's ever happened in real life isn't that basically klarna

you're gonna follow it's like i have a dollar i'll be back

the the fact that the slaters aren't related but they actually genuinely look like they're brother and sister.

Yeah.

Here's one that I honestly could have used more of in the 80s and 90s when characters found an empty, really nice suburban semi-mansion to hide in for a couple of days.

Amazing.

Why did we stop doing this?

Yeah.

This is the whole plot of Beverly Hills Cop 2.

This is why, like, maybe ring cameras were a mistake.

You know what I mean?

That would have been a good hide.

You don't get to get rid of ring cameras.

You don't get to find out that a bunch of teens have been living in your house while you were vacating.

Seems great.

I mean, it could have been the whole movie.

They're just living there and ordering whatever delivery, pizza delivery.

I had 80s high school bad guys.

Yeah.

Like Hubie's crew, Cobra Kai.

Yeah.

James Spader's crew in Pretty and Pink.

Like just.

They're some of the most evil people we had in movies.

They were just like 17-year-old.

Yeah.

Always a blind guy.

Always like super flirty and borderline sexual harassment.

They're always chewing gum.

Named like Hubie or Bart.

Yeah.

And at the end, they have some sort of realization that maybe this was the wrong way to go.

Yeah.

Hubie at the end of this movie is like, yeah, I'm going to let my dad burn to death.

I don't care.

Go get a pizza.

Johnny Lawrence, the Danikrott Kid.

Look at this.

I'm going to TCU in the fall.

This is too heavy for me.

This is a deep cut.

What's age the best?

Movie characters getting mad that the ransom number for them wasn't high enough.

Oh, yeah.

Keith Gordon being like only 10K.

Yeah.

I like anytime that happens.

That's actually a ton of money for 1985 in Texas.

Yeah.

I like anytime a movie character says, Your money lets you get away with anything.

Lloyd's hostage plan, which is ridiculous, but I also have it as a WhatsApp the best, like really inventive way to try to get laid.

Yeah.

She's like, I just, I just need to stay around Billie Gene and keep taking shots.

Yeah, you know, this will happen.

Also, like, just like him being like, I'm super into Houdini, so this is a chance to put my tricks into action.

Uh,

Mark Safin

did the theme music for this, he also did the closing-in song for the golf course chase.

Yep,

do you know what song he did?

That's an absolutely all-time iconic 80s movie song.

No,

win in the end in Team Wolf, really,

the whole basketball scene, Win in the End.

I'm gonna to win in the end.

You know, remember that one, Craig?

From Teen Wolf?

No, I don't.

It's like five minutes of him just singing Win in the End.

The music in the scene where she walks out and she first gets her hair cut, I'm pretty convinced is just like where Stranger Things got the music.

Yeah, I mean,

this could have been a hottest take.

I think Stranger Things really studied like three, four movies.

It's like E.T.

E.T., i think they studied this maybe goonies in this yeah

yeah i think there was some karate kid yeah 11 having the haircut yeah i but i think that i think if you gave true serum to those guys i think they would admit they were

yeah yeah

big kahuna burger were best use of food and drink um

i just always enjoy when somebody dumps a milkshake on a movie billy that's that's just gonna win me over every time it's also very 1980s to be like it's hot out let's get like a big cup of milk.

You know, right?

Who would get a milkshake?

And it's like 98-degree weather at one in the afternoon.

I had the shopping cart full of junk food that Putter tries to buy in the convenience store.

It's like all butterfingers.

Right.

Yeah.

Great shotgord where most cinematic shot.

There is a nice big wide shot of them lying on that, whatever that big wood thing is in the lake.

Yeah.

And it just seems calm and quiet.

And you're like, oh man, something bad's going to happen.

The hair reveal is cool when it starts to cool.

There's the shot Jeff Kimball, Jeffrey Kimball, who shot fucking Top Gun.

Wow.

That makes sense.

It looks really, really good.

Chess Rockwell, Brock Landers Award for Best Character Name.

Billie Jean Davy is pretty good.

Awesome.

I do love Binks.

But I think the winner is Huby Pyatt.

That's just somebody you want to punch in the face.

We don't name kids Huby anymore, do we?

Nor Binks.

I think Binks is a nickname, right?

Oh, is it?

I'd assume.

For what?

So his name would be Binks Davy?

I would assume his name's like Bradley or Bobby or something like that.

What do you have for a flex category, CR?

I have a couple, but I did.

Can we do ZWant now?

Can we talk it out?

Yeah.

Does Lloyd get heavy into VHS porn?

Because I think it's in play.

He becomes like Butt Man?

He's got all the equipment.

You know, he's got a little bit of startup capital.

He's had his taste of crime.

I think that

Binks moves to Burlington, Vermont, and becomes a scooper at an early Ben and Jerry store and kind of bums around the mountains, sells some bad acid at a dead show and gets his ass kicked.

Lloyd's dad winds up having a low-key role in the David Koresh standoff.

Hubie becomes lieutenant governor and Philly Jean gets embroiled in a a years-long copyright litigation.

Huby's the governor of Texas for like 28 years.

What do you mean?

I actually, ironically, put this in the rundown after unanswerable questions.

And I had the Zawatana award, what happened the next day?

Binks eventually becomes the father to Doug McRae

in the town.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's his dad.

His dad is Binks.

His idea of what Vermont is like must be so fucked up because it's just that chick on a poster.

I mean, honestly, even people in Vermont are like, dude.

Yeah, don't get your hooks up.

Yeah.

It's Vermont's fine.

Yeah.

Do kids still hang up posters of hot women in their rooms growing up?

Did Ben do that?

No.

What a shame.

It's because it's all on their phone, right?

Yeah.

That's a bummer.

Yeah, I had some good ones.

That's such a vibe.

Kathy Ireland

on my wall.

I like QB being

in some sort of major political role in Texas.

Yeah.

Like playing off the billie jean thing yeah i learned my lessons

uh the butch's girlfriend word wig link of the film it's either billie jean saving the kenny the random abuse kid

that whole section or billie jean getting shot at by these two people trying to get a ransom that whole section of the movie by the way i like that whole section of the movie it's just we're we kind of go sideways there for a second i know that yardley smith is like in in in an interview was like i don't understand why my character gets her period like in the middle of this movie for the first time.

But I do think the child abuse section where it's just like, you got to save Kenny.

It's like, well, I'm on the run from the law, so I can't do that.

I like when she comes out of the house and she's like,

Kenny's going to live with his grandmother.

And the crowd's like, yeah.

And little we know, the grandmother's worse than the fucking

Kenny is CT, but he's going to live with his grandmother.

What's age the worst?

We mentioned earlier, but dreaming about someday living in Vermont is weird.

Like,

why not go?

I don't know, like, California?

Well, I think it's

128.

He hates the heat, and he's only seen one poster of Vermont.

He probably can't name another city that he thinks all of Vermont is chicks who are naked underneath their ski suits.

It would have been funny if he had just saw Hot Dog the movie and was like, this is my jam.

This is what I need.

What do you have?

I have a feeling.

I have a good old boy taking a shot at Billy with a hunting rifle while she's surrounded by kids in order to get the down payment for his house.

Pretty fucked up.

And

station wagons fishtailing a lot.

You know, we just have better suspensions now.

Yeah.

But like that was like some of those fucking cars were really dangerous back then.

It's a good point because the chase scenes were just better back then, but it's because the cars

would just like spin

out.

But like now it's like

thank you.

Thanks.

What's age to worst?

I would have have toned down Benatar and Invincible maybe by one song or brought it up by another three.

Here's a I don't think it was at the right number.

Maybe five more or two less.

It's too bad that I think Pat Benatar has a strange relationship to this movie, but it would have been great if she would have recorded like an acoustic version to play like during the second version.

She's like, I'm not going to send the scene, you know, or something.

So I read in the research she didn't like this movie.

Yeah.

But then I don't, I didn't know if that was true because she still plays it at concerts.

Well, I mean, it's her song.

I think she's just like, this is the song from the dumbest dumbest movie ever made.

Come on, Pat.

That, I mean, that gets, I almost want to break out the fuck e-rage for that, for Pat.

Settle down, Pat.

Settle the fuck down, Pat.

Like, what other song in a movie does she even have at this point?

The way adults talk to Billie Jean, we mentioned.

The original title of this film was Fair is Fair.

Tough.

You like that more or less the legend of Billie i think if it had been called fair is fair i wonder if it does better at the box office but it does not become a cult classic the way it did yeah because it does legendability gene here's my big one

so and it makes sense because in the research they said this they had to do some reshoots and her hair was different so she had to wear a wig for some of the yeah you can

you can just it's like

it's really bad

Like she she looks like there's a couple scenes where she just looks like she has Steve Kerr's hair and like the the 98 Bulls.

It just makes no sense.

And then it goes back to the old hair.

Yeah.

But man, I wish it's funny that Peters cared so much about the haircut and then didn't care.

He was on your back end by then.

Yeah.

He was like, whatever, I'm moved on the top gun.

All right, let's do one more break and then we'll do the rest of the categories.

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All right, Ruffalo, Hannah, Rubinik Partridge over Acting Word.

Putter's mom,

who's just the worst person?

I was going to move Kenny's dad.

Oh, Kenny's dad.

It seemed like he was really methoding out there.

Like, all right, so I've been living in the back of this trailer for like two months.

They're like, hey, we just need you for one scene.

Can you just be evil and smelly?

CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Port Howdy's take a word.

What do you got?

I think in my lifetime, mass media should have stopped evolving right at the moment of this movie depicts.

So that would basically be early cable, radio.

You have some people who have like video cameras.

So there is like you're able to make your own stuff.

But not easily.

And it just basically means that I would never have a job and I would work at a record store for the rest of my life.

But I'd be okay with that if we could go back to like

this moment because it was just so perfect in my mind.

Movies, which I think probably most people who are like, I would like to go back to when it was like I was 10.

That was the perfect moment.

Like whether it was this game platform or this kind of like the cable TV, like you had HBO, but that was it.

Everybody probably thinks that for whatever they are, but it was like, this is just such a perfect moment in my mind.

Like, I still remember sitting in the backseat of my mom's car and like listening to WMMR or Eagle 106 and just being like, these, these are the only 20 songs I need to know.

Yeah.

84 and 85.

You're right.

We had it all figured out.

My take, Keith Gordon,

widest range of excellent performance to horrible performance of any actor of the last 50 years.

In this film specifically or across the course of his career?

He has a run.

I think he's really good in this movie.

He's pretty good in Dress to Kill.

He's good in Christine.

He's horrific in Back to School with Rodney Dangerfield.

It's one of the worst performances of the 80s.

And Christine, he's kind of all over the place.

I don't know what he's going for there.

To be fair,

Jaws 2, pretty solid, but he's just all over.

I don't have a reason.

And he became a director.

Yeah.

He did a Midnight Clear, which is really good.

Did he direct Chocolate War?

I can't remember who or is he

directed a bunch of ones.

Anyway, but he's become like a very good director.

Yeah, but good.

That's a hot take.

He was in kind of more movies than maybe he should have been.

I think we would have been good with like three Keith Gordon movies, but he's in six.

Yeah.

It's funny.

He's like kind of like the

he's like off-brand Matthew Broderick a little bit.

Yeah, like darker.

He has that

little bit of like, I'm a little bit of a nerd, but I can also be cool, you know?

Yeah.

But I also like I could see him in war games.

I also met a tried heroine.

Yeah.

Casting Wood Ifs, couldn't find any.

Nah, me neither.

Best That Guy Award.

Yardley Smith as putter.

Lisa Simpson.

Is she Yardley Smith?

I think she's Lisa Simpson.

She's Lisa Simpson.

I have Barry Tubb, who is Wolfman and Top Gun, and he's QB in this movie.

I had Richard Bradford as Mr.

Pyatt, because the only other thing, he's just one of those guys.

He was in the Untouchables, apparently.

Yeah,

he's the cop who's like, this is a cop spa.

Yeah.

I never knew that guy's name.

I knew who Barry Tubbs is.

Let's do Bradford.

You're right.

Barry Tubb, I knew from Top Gun.

Yeah.

And he's been in some other stuff, too.

Deion Waiter's award.

I don't think the undercover mustache cops can win this.

It's probably putter.

It's Dean Stockwell.

What are you talking about?

Dean Stockwell?

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

He comes in.

He's like, I'm fucking 10 months away from making Paris, Texas.

He's like a really good actor, and I'm just going to be the district attorney of Corpus Christi.

And the scene he has with Peter Coyote in the beginning, where he's like, yeah, it's pretty smart to do it this way.

Like, if you were going to do it, like, blah, blah, blah.

Really good scene.

He's good.

I go with Putter.

I think Putter's funny.

Okay.

Recasting Couch Director City.

Can I offer you young James Spader as Lloyd?

In the same city, or you want to move it to like Concord, New Hampshire, or something?

No,

I think he Texas is it up.

By the way, Keith Core did no accent in this movie for Corpus Christie.

I assume he goes to private school.

What about young Cuzak for Lloyd?

Yeah, 18, 19 years old.

There you go, Craig.

There you go.

It's great.

I have a rarely seen recasting a music scene choice because I felt like this was

one away from being a pretty great soundtrack.

The golf course scene, the song's not good enough.

Pretty persuasion by R.E.M.

Needed something with a little kick where they're running.

And I think that was, I went through all my 80s playlists trying to find the perfect one.

And I think that's where I landed.

Can I just off the top of my head throw it at you?

Yeah.

When they are doing the like, let's help Billie Jean escape across the city with all the girls who look like Billie Jean.

Yeah.

Voices Carrie by Till Tuesday.

Ooh.

Female artist.

Yeah, Amy Mann.

Female artist.

Like how powering women.

That's what we're doing.

I like because we got the divinals in the beginning.

Yeah.

Craig, what your flex category did it?

Oh, I want to.

I have another one, though.

I guess it's a,

I guess I'll call it a weak link.

Maybe it's a picking net.

I'm going to double down as a feminist ally here with CR.

I don't know.

I don't get to be a feminist ally.

What happened?

After the cup situation, yeah, you're canceled.

You have to earn your way back.

I don't know if Billie G needed a love interest.

I feel like that kind of like she just fell in love with the first random dude she meets on the road.

And I think it takes away from the female empowerment that she needs this man and she immediately falls in love with this guy.

I fucking like that idea, Craig.

And it also is kind of like the, we don't get to explore the loneliness of fame.

No, it's like she just falls in love with the first guy she sees in mid-80s.

They were like, she needs a love interest, I'm sure.

Yeah.

But I thought they should have held strong.

Little revision of that: what if it had been a love triangle with her, Hubie, and

Lloyd?

And like, she had had something go with Hubie, and that's just his way of like communicating to her.

I mean, Hubie was the heir to this crappy Tora store in the middle of fucking nowhere, Texas.

All of these seashells and this could all be yours someday, Bill Gene.

Yeah,

you'll work here with me.

That whole Panama Jack stand right there, we can adopt Kenny,

get skin cancer together.

Half-Est Internet Research.

The actress who played Putter's mother apparently slapped Yardley Smith for real.

Oh my God.

And then the DVD commentary, that's why she went flying backwards and her face was numb after.

They really went for it in the 80s.

Yardley Smith almost, she refused to cut her hair for the part.

So when they show her their haircut, she's got a ponytail print.

I thought she was great in this movie.

Yeah, I thought she was really good.

I obviously know she went on to do The Simpsons, but was she in a lot of other comedy movies?

Did The Simpsons just kind of gobble up all the time?

I don't.

She was in City Slickers.

And she was in,

was she in a sitcom for a while before?

She bounced around.

She had a couple.

She had great timing.

She could have been the friend in a lot of good comedy.

She's really funny.

The miniature golf course is gone.

It's now the Texas State Aquarium.

The mall is done.

Yeah, you can watch a 30-minute video of the guy, a guy made of just like going through this decrepit, dilapidated, abandoned mall.

We should should buy the Ringer should buy a mall.

That should be our office as an old mall in Corpus Christi.

Yeah.

Are you ready to move?

It's probably like 15 grand to buy Ringers.

What if it was like return to work?

Like return to the office, but in Corpus Christi.

Do you remember when you can work inside of the husk of an orange Julius?

That'd be awesome.

Yeah.

Were you working with us when I seriously investigated buying the boogeyman's house?

Yeah.

The video there?

That probably would have been a mistake.

That's like very

East LA, right?

Where is it?

No, it's in

Tarzana, isn't it?

Yeah.

No, no, it's closer toward Chino.

Oh.

Oh.

Yeah.

I forget what.

It was like a good 40 minutes away.

How close were you to actually doing it?

Not actually that close.

Once I actually whized it out and did a couple different times.

Yeah.

Imagine poor Gahal being like, hey, we're shooting at the boogie tonight.

I tried to get it rush hour.

And I'll leave today to get there tomorrow.

Three-hour drive.

The last research thing was just the Pat Benatar thing we mentioned earlier where she said this was from the worst movie ever made and then belted out invincible i hope that's not true and if it's true it's a borderline settle down pat yeah i saw a bunch of uh it's not a fucky raj but it's a settle-down pat there's this really cool website called fast dashrewind.com and it's got like a ton of stuff about the kind of movies that we were talking about in the beginning of the pot 80s vhs classics but their their way of like posting uh behind the scenes information is like you can just write in and be like i was an extra on this movie and helen slater sucked so i don't know like whether it's true or not but it does sound like uh helen slater was like very opinionated about her haircut and about like how the movie was being made

good for her though apex mountain helen slater good for her though yeah i guess though this isn't supergirl i think it's secret of my success

because wouldn't you say this is a bigger movie now and no

because it bombed when it came out and supergirl supergirl bombed too.

Oh, that's right.

Secret of my success, she's in a movie with Michael J.

Fox.

He's on family ties.

He's like one of the biggest TV stars in the world.

That's a pretty good movie.

And it felt like she was headed for bigger things.

Well, by that same token, wouldn't City Slickers be your Apex Mountain then?

Because she's in.

Wasn't City Slickers like the biggest movie in the world for a little while?

I'll just tell you this, CR.

I know you had a lot of Aspiration stock.

It was sad to see in the bankruptcy filings.

I had a a lot of Helen Slater stock.

C-R-L-L-C K-2.

I had a lot of Helen Slater.

A lot of us did.

A lot of Helen Slater stock.

When she was in that Michael J.

Fox movie, it was like, here we go.

Same thing with Elizabeth Shu.

When she's in cocktail, it's like, here we go.

Here we go.

Everyone on the bus.

We're headed toward the Oscars.

And, you know, some of these people just never made it.

Kelly Preston was another one.

If Helen Slater had been a working girl, what are we talking about today?

You know?

Wow.

Look at you.

Christian Slater Now,

Hondo Lead Scooters, yes, I think, yes, this is right.

This was somebody who Lou Reed did the Hondo Lead Scooter ad in 85.

Yeah, what?

Oh, yeah, wait, 100%.

What Lou Reed did a Hondo Lead Scooter ad, like an endorsement, or he did a song for it?

He did the do,

oh, the walk of the watts, yeah, no shit.

Fuck yeah, oh, I had no idea, man.

That's cool.

Um,

Self-haircuts.

Has anyone ever pulled off a better self-haircut?

No, she crushed it.

Yeah, she really did smoke it.

And it instantaneously becomes iconic.

Craig, who cut your hair during COVID the first two months?

Liz, Liz did it?

Yeah, but it was like basically just, she didn't really touch the top.

It was, you just kind of like shave the sides, let it get long.

I just, yeah, I'm like pretty, I don't have to cut my hair very much.

My wife did mine.

Yeah.

And it was kind of fun for a couple months.

I had, my hair just goes up.

Yeah.

And it was just just like, I just looked like a mushroom.

And we were like, so we got this razor and she just started.

Yeah, she's talking about military because we were doing pods on Zoom at that point.

And I think we were wearing hats most of the time.

You should have kept it going for the castaway solo pod.

You should have just had.

I wish that was on video.

Could you imagine if that was just existed on YouTube?

Oh, I should check.

No, it's not.

I didn't do it on video.

Do you think I just turned the recorder on and did it?

This is Apex Mountain for Peter Coyote or is it narrating Ken Burns' Civil War?

What is Apex Mountain for him?

He's been in bed.

No, it's E.T., right?

I guess so.

Yeah.

He's got great hair in this movie.

He looks like Bob Myers.

It looks like Peter Coyote.

I think it's the Civil War.

Apex Mountain for Billie Jeans.

We have the song Billie Jeans.

We have Legend of Billie Jeans.

That's a great call.

And Billie Jean King.

I was going to ask about that if the name...

was especially popular if they specifically chose the name billie jean because of the no it was actually they were really annoyed about that.

I think when I read something about it, really, I think Billie Jean

was a more common name back then.

Is that right?

Yeah, I wasn't a Billie Jean in 30 years.

I thought that this, that was the name was supposed to be like a play on Billy the Kid.

You know what I mean?

Like, she's like an outlaw rises.

We had Billie Joe's and Billie Jean's, and now we have neither.

No, Billie Jean the song came out in 83.

Yeah, so it was hugely popular.

Craig, I'm aware.

Interesting.

I'm just saying, like, how could biggest moments of my life in 83?

I feel like Billie Jean video.

The producers being upset that people were comparing this movie to that movie or, you know, connecting the names.

It's like, why would you do it then?

It's super obvious.

Yeah.

You've just named your character after one of the five biggest songs of the 80s.

Maybe people are going to be confused.

Fair being fair, Apex Mountain.

I mean, it certainly isn't now.

Yeah.

Short-haired 80s woman.

Benatar, Slater.

Who else had a cool short haircut back then?

I mean, it was the look for a while there.

Yeah, it's kind of like it's going back to Veronica Cartwright.

Courtney Cox and Family Ties.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Courtney Cox in Dancing in the Dark.

Short hair in that?

She has short hair.

No, it's long.

She has longer hair than that, right?

No, I think it was shorter.

Martha Plimpton and Goonies, right?

Yeah.

Or she's long hair in that.

Sturby Beach.

Had to have been Apex Mountain, the final scene.

That's what it was called.

Our radio guy's like, whoa, whoa, big day here.

Sterby Beach.

Yardley Smith, it's the Simpsons, which made her probably, she's probably buying the Portland Trailblazers.

Corpus Christie movies, I'm going to say yes.

Barry Tubb, Top Gun, Top Gun.

Keith Gordon.

Christine, movies built around him.

Yeah.

Joan of Arc, probably not.

No, I think it's got some other peaks.

All the other peaks she had.

Defeating the English.

Cruise or Hanks?

How about very young Tom Cruise as Binks?

Could see it.

Yeah.

Like all the right blondes.

Cruz ever bleach blonde his hair?

Just for a collateral.

He grayed it.

He grayed it.

Yeah.

You could also see if things had gone a different way, Cruz being like a good guy in Huby's gang.

Right.

You know?

Like the guy taking the photos.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Scorsese or Spielberg.

Spielberg.

Clearly Scorsese.

We get cocaine.

Yeah.

Mr.

Pyatt's.

Mr.

Pyat's running a Coke dealer.

They're selling cocaine in the top floor.

I mean, they probably should have done that anyway, right?

Yeah.

It should have been, she burns this thing down, but then it turns out he's also the biggest Coke dealer in Corpus Christi.

And like Lloyd is way more of like a Paul Schrader character.

She's like, I never leave my house.

I just write my journal.

Yeah.

What role would Philip Seymour Hoffman have played?

Clearly Hubie.

Yeah.

All right.

Picking it.

Can't wait for this.

let me go first for this one okay

it just seems like there are a lot of detectives working this case in corpus christi there's like no other crime scumbag got shot in the shoulder and he's fine

um but as a part of that it's like how many times does hubie try to take matters into his own hands during a literal police intervention like yeah did obstruction of justice just not exist in texas in the 1980s

Pretty tough.

Yeah.

My first pick in it is these kids would have been caught in 45 minutes.

Yes.

They never left Corpus Christi.

They went to the same three spots.

Pretty sure we could have found them.

All right.

So they're living in a Corpus Christi trailer park.

Yeah, it's apparently still there.

Binks gets some money and he...

buys a really expensive Honda Lead scooter.

I have some questions.

So what do you think he should be spending his money on?

I just had some questions.

Okay.

That's like a thousand-dollar scooter.

He wasn't worried it was going to get robbed by somebody parking outside with no bike locks.

He's 15.

He's like, this is as good as it's going to get.

I support the choice.

I'm just saying.

Okay.

So they break into a house and it just happens to be the district attorney's house.

Yeah.

Out of all the houses.

A little bit of a fairy tale.

Yeah.

And the district attorney lives in Corpus Christi, but isn't home.

But it's never home.

Yeah.

He's somewhere else, he's in Dallas.

Okay, and he has a private shopper.

Why not just stay at Lloyd's house when you're hiding?

I don't think anyone's like, Let me come with you and I'll be your hostage.

It's like, or we could just stay at your house, nobody knows we're here.

I think it's supposed to be that, like, they have to get the two sisters home.

Like, this is can't go on forever, you know.

But it just seems like Lloyd probably could have given them a hundred bucks for gas and they could have gotten pretty close to Vermont on that.

Would have stayed at the house for a couple more days and used the pool slide

uh my number one i have a couple more but sharpshooters at the billie jean rally insane insane

sharpshooters sharpshooters who are also seemingly only taking orders from the district attorney not from

yeah not from the head of corpus christi police yeah the number one detective yeah shoot her in the head if you get a good shot

The uh, the Binks hostage plan at the end is legitimately insane.

Yeah, I don't know why anyone thought that was going to work.

And then at the end, they just let her leave.

I know.

All charges have been dropped?

Well, I think it's supposed to be that Mr.

Pyatt has clearly done some bad shit.

And so they're just like, it's like offsetting penalties.

Do they think that Billie Gene shot Pyatt or do they know that Binks did?

I think they know that Binks did, but I think Billie Gene is...

They've reported Billie Gene has made like 600 robberies in two days or something.

So that's why he's like, this is ridiculous.

All these robberies are happening at the same time like also if her goal is to not i i don't really know what she's is she trying to be recognized or is she not because if she's if she wants to remain anonymous she should have cut her hair after the video she wanted to be remain anonymous until piatt and everybody started going on the news yeah and talking about her because if she didn't want to be recognized you you you record the video for the news and then cut your hair so you look different she realized she couldn't be anonymous because she was creating the internet and she saw and she saw joan of arc and she was like i'm going to start the internet she called out gore and she was like, I have an idea, and she's like, Now I'm the most recognizable person in Corpus Christi, yeah, yeah,

where we can just somehow drive around in a station wagon with license plates on it and evade police for seven days just in different spots.

Let's go back to the uh miniature golf course again.

You have any other picking nets?

I don't

sequel, prequel, prestige TBL, blackcast, or untouchable.

The prestige version of this is interesting, written by Brad Inglesby.

Would you set it in Philly?

I said it in corporate Christie.

Okay.

Mr.

Hyatt is the biggest Coke and opium and heroin dealer in Texas, but he has this thing as a shell Ponzi thing.

There's a shooting there, but he now has to kill her because Binks is on display.

Fentanyl police.

Yeah, Binks tries fentanyl for the first time.

And we just go.

Yeah, I like that.

I just call it Billie Gene.

I also like the sequel where Lloyd becomes like the jackhorner of VHS porn.

Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Treyo, Mad Dog Russo, Doris Burke, Sam Jackson, Nell, Byron Mayo, Tony Romo, Chris Collinsworth, Daniel Plainview, Long Legs, or Wilfred Brimley in the firm?

I have a new addition to the category, and I want to say that this is out of...

the utmost respect, the deepest appreciation and love, but we have to add Peter Schrager to the category.

Let's go,

Bill.

I've been talking to the Jack sisters, Ophelia, and Putter, and you know what they said?

Billie Jean is even more committed to fairness.

I know there are a lot of girls out there with the haircut, and they are getting attention.

And let me tell you, Billie Jean has been listening to C101, and she hears everything.

And it's just motivating her to get back to the top of the mountain.

You think he's going to get that?

Let's go.

No, he'll love that.

He'll love that.

That was great.

I had Mad Dog Russo.

I mean, Mike, here's the DA.

He's got sharpshooters at the beach rally.

What's the end of our headshot to Billy J, Davey?

What are we doing?

Just one Oscar who gets it.

I wonder how many people who are listening to the 57th minute of The Legend of Billie J.

Pod know who Mad Dog and Shreigs are.

Right.

Probably not many.

Just one Oscar who gets it.

Probably Benatar.

Uh, is Invincible an original song for the movie?

Yeah, I mean, it's hard to give Jeffrey Kimball best cinematography, but it, I think it's the best part of this movie.

I feel like I have to look at the 1986 Oscars now.

It could have been best original song, right?

If she did the song for the movie, which I think don't know that she did do this, I mean, the video is basically from the movie, but I don't know.

The winner was Say You, Save Me from White Knights

Music and Lyric by Lionel Ritchie.

Power of Love from Back to the Future did not win.

What an outrage.

Oh my God.

And then three more that,

whatever.

I feel like she could have made it.

All right.

We are near the end here because we have probably unanswerable questions.

Is this movie better if Binks accidentally shoots Mr.

Pyatt's head off at the beginning?

Like Pope Fiction?

Yeah.

Oh, shout out Barbett's head.

Shout out Barbett's head.

Whatever you said.

If he just does, if he just actually blows his head off, and now they're on the run because they've committed an accidental murder.

Yeah.

But would it even be better if like the wolf came and helped them?

I had one more, but do you have any?

Do you, who do you think Mr.

Pyatt had in the Danny White, Gary Hogeboom quarterback controversy from the Cowboys in 84?

He's got a Cowboy shirt on.

Did he have Mavs tickets?

Yeah.

When did the Mavs come into the league?

80.

Yeah.

Wow.

The 85 Mavs were good.

I had, did Mr.

Pyatt create MAGA?

Like 30 years later, he's definitely like right in there with Trump.

I mean, he's got every supplement.

He's got red hats and shirts.

He's in.

But he's articulating a lot of that.

Like, you know, I'm just, I'm a voter.

And I just think these kids are running wild.

You got to clean this up.

What piece of memorability would you want or not want from this movie?

Lloyd's AV setup home theater.

That would have been sick.

You know, Fantasy was just like, oh, this guy.

He's got all the good stuff.

I would take the scooter, and that was the exact scooter I had for like a year and a half before I crashed it.

The Honda Elite.

Yeah.

I had the background.

That was the one when I really got banged up.

Yeah, because I was driving that.

Those things were fast.

They went up to like 60.

Damn.

Yeah.

But those things were great.

Lou Reed was promoting them.

It was you, Lou Reed and Slater.

Yeah, they were great.

Uh, best double feature choice.

I had the Terminator, so we could have female empowerment heroes from the mid-80s, Sarah Connor and Billie Jean.

I would pair it with Last Starfighter or Rad, which are just two classic cult VHS movies from this time period.

And Helen Swater won the movie.

What about the Coach Finstock award?

Is it Ferris Fair?

Oh, I forgot the Coach Finstock.

Yeah, Ferris Fair.

Helen Slater wins the movie.

Or, you know what?

Did Pat Benatart win the movie?

Is Invincible the thing that people remember from this movie?

I think it's Helen Slater.

Okay.

Craig never saw it.

What did you think?

I had never heard of it.

I even asked Matt Bellany today as we were taping the town.

I said, have you heard of the movie The Legend of Billy G?

And he was like, no.

So I was like, all right, excited to get into this.

We still got some tricks up our sleeve.

Every time they think we've zigged, we've zagged.

I really enjoyed this movie.

I thought it was a really fun 95 minutes.

I thought the plot was entertaining

and smart.

And, you know, with these movies, I kind of always toe the line between genuine love and ironic love for them.

But I kind of think that's part of the fun of these 80s movies is, you know, they're a little bit on the fringe, but I enjoyed it.

That was good.

Sometimes they just feel like time capsules to me now.

Like there's, I sent you guys that screenshot of like a bunch of the teens at the beach in the end scene, like in the exchange at the end.

And I'm just like, look at these fucking guys, man.

Like, that's like a life magazine photo.

This is, I think I've said life magazine twice now in two pods, but it's like, it is like a document of what kids kind of like used to look like and how they used to hang out back then.

And it's just like this movie is aggressively representing culture at this exact time.

And I think a lot of stuff now doesn't, maybe 30 years from now, we'll look back and be like, wow, the summer I turned pretty really encapsulates what 2024 was like, but it, it doesn't feel like it in the the moment, I guess.

Yeah,

yeah, it's interesting.

This movie comes down to the four people are just a good hang.

Billie Jean, her brother, and the two sisters.

It's just fun to hang out with.

And it's a cool setting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like the first, what is it, 20 Minutes of Jaws 2, we were talking about like, this just looks fun.

Fun hanging out here.

It's a great setting.

It's like, you know, you can, Roy Scheider's got some problems.

He's dealing with him.

Yeah, it's cool.

He's probably using that tanning oil.

Roy Scheider.

There was a lot of movies like this in the mid-80s.

Like Anthony Michael Hall made one where it's like wrong person now on the run.

And I think this movie did it the best.

Yes.

There's a lot of bad versions of this.

Yeah, and a lot of the out of bounds.

Remember that one?

And Anthony Michael Hall and Jenny Ray.

I don't know.

What's the one?

Cloak and Dagger, where like the kids on the, like Dabney Coleman is like the spy.

Right, right, right.

And the kid goes on the run.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a great, it's a great premise.

I thought Helen Slater was great.

I really liked her.

Yeah.

All right.

There you go.

Thanks to Gahal.

Thanks to Ronic as well.

Thanks to Korbeck for producing.

Thanks to Edward.

Thanks to Eduardo.

Yeah, we got the whole crew.

This is some crew.

I don't know what we have next week, but it'll definitely be.

We have one banked if you want to run that one.

Yeah, yeah.

Or maybe we're filming another one next week.

We'll see.

CR.

Pleasure as always.

I hope they throw to AJ Brown more next week.

We'll see.

Good to see you.

This episode is brought to you by Warner Brothers Pictures.

One battle after another is coming to theater September 26th.

Don't miss legendary writer, director, and producer.

My guy, Paul Thomas Anderson, teaming up with Leo DiCaprio for the first time ever.

Pretty exciting.

They almost teamed together in Boogie Dance, actually, alongside award-winning actors like Sean Penn, Tiana Taylor, and Benicio Del Toro in this hilarious, action-packed adventure, following Bob Ferguson, an ex-revolutionary on a mission to find his missing daughter and overcome the consequences of his past.

One battle after another.

Only in theater September 26th, get tickets now.

Rated R under 17, not admitted without parent.

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