How To Heal Your Relationship With Money To Create More Abundance

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Speaker 1 You realize from being broke and homeless that you wanted to learn, you wanted to teach wealth generation, but you didn't know how to make money at that point. No, I didn't.

Speaker 1 So you had to go on the journey of discovering what does that look like? What does that mean? How do I get out of debt? How do I earn, you know, a consistent living? How do I save it?

Speaker 1 How do I invest it? The whole process. You You know, because growing up, man, I was taught, you know, I grew up in a very strong Christian faith home.
I have four parents.

Speaker 1 I have two biological parents and two stepparents. My biological mom and stepdad and my siblings live here in California.
Then my biological father and stepmom live in North Carolina, right?

Speaker 1 And I grew up in a very church thing. The only conversation we really had around finances was give.
Right. Just give to the church.
That's it. That's it.
We didn't talk about money.

Speaker 1 No, we didn't really talk about, hey,

Speaker 1 here's how you build wealth. Here's how you start a business.
Here's what entrepreneurship looks like. It was, hey, when you get your money from Wendy's, you're going to give 10% to the church.

Speaker 1 Then what you do with the other 90%, save it. Save a little bit, but you want the shoes, you go buy it.
No one really talked to me about how to invest.

Speaker 1 No one said, hey, son, save this money, baby, go start a small business. So growing up, I just knew go get a job.

Speaker 1 you know work the 40 hours a week make sure you get a good 401k benefit package with some good health insurance and keep your credit score above a 700. And then you get a good retirement package

Speaker 1 at the end of your time. No one really said, hey, here's how you start thinking at 18 to build true wealth.

Speaker 1 Here's how you start a business. So I said, there has to be more.

Speaker 1 There has to be more than just living paycheck to paycheck, sleeping in the back of my car and looking at everyone else look good. But honestly,

Speaker 1 I was tired of looking good and honestly not being good. Yeah, that's a big one, man.
Looking good is

Speaker 1 that's tough. If you don't feel good on the inside, it doesn't matter how much money and how good you look, how shiny you are on the outside.

Speaker 1 If it doesn't feel confident in yourself and proud of yourself, of what you're creating. I'm curious, you've talked to a lot of different individuals, parents, families about money.

Speaker 1 What would you say are the three biggest conversation mistakes that parents teach their kids around money?

Speaker 1 in general or the three things that they don't teach they should be teaching what are they saying that's maybe not the best thing they should say right

Speaker 1 you know you had your experience but what are other people saying that you're hearing number one thing is chores you know like we're gonna pay you and give you an allowance for just being my son that's good or bad that's bad okay

Speaker 1 we shouldn't teach our kids that the world is going to reward them for just being who they are No, we need to teach our young people, hey, the world is going to reward you by actually producing and by working.

Speaker 1 Okay. By offering a value.
Exactly. Not by just living.

Speaker 1 Just by waking up. Like, why? What does that teach you if you're just going to give someone money consistently without working? Exactly.
It doesn't teach you nothing.

Speaker 1 And then it's like, why are you paying your kids to make up his bed to make up her bed?

Speaker 1 Why are you paying your kids to wash dishes? No. Pay them to go wash cars, not your car, but your neighbor's car.
Pay them to go cut other people's grass. Pay them to go walk other people's dogs.

Speaker 1 Pay them to walk around a neighbor and pick up trash. Teach them the true value of working in exchange for finances.
So that's number one is we got to stop teaching them that, hey,

Speaker 1 the only way you can get paid is, you know, make up your bed.

Speaker 1 That's misleading our young people.

Speaker 1 Number two is, you know, I wrote the book, Dead Free Degree, while I was with Ramsey Solutions, is that the only way to go to college is to finance it. You know, we got to start.

Speaker 1 Stop telling our young people, hey, your Harvards and Yale's and Princeton's are the best schools out there.

Speaker 1 No, I know a lot of prestigious people who went to community colleges, but I know a lot of people who went to a Harvard or a Yale, a prestigious school, but they're not prestigious individuals.

Speaker 1 And so what we got to start teaching our young people is, hey, go to college if that's the route that you want to go. But trade schools are actually in right now and it's less expensive.

Speaker 1 I got a friend who's a plumber who's making multiple six figures a year. Absolutely.
He's a solo plumber. Absolutely.
Crushing it. Absolutely.
And he's like, I go golfing every week. I travel.

Speaker 1 I was just in Hawaii and he's got his own little business in Vegas making multiple six figures. I'm like, you're crushing it.
He's like, yeah, no one wants to do this job. I'm making bangs.

Speaker 1 No one, man. I just had a handyman come out to my house and asked Charlie.
Or 60 bucks an hour probably or something. $150.
An hour.

Speaker 1 I said, y'all get wrong.

Speaker 1 I see you. Hammering some nails up in here, you know.
He was like, but nobody wants to do the ugly work.

Speaker 1 Nobody wants to be hot. Nobody wants to be cold when it's, you know, 30 degrees outside.
So he's, I mean, he can rack up.

Speaker 1 So we got to start teaching our young people, start asking them, hey what do you want to do you know what what is it that that you feel as if you can do in the world and actually enjoy it parents have to stop telling their kids what they will do okay you have some parents saying hey i want you to go to this school and become this when you get older and then then they grow up growing envy of their parents because their parents didn't give them an opportunity to say you know what hey let's work hand in hand right or resentful or whatever it is

Speaker 1 exactly so it's like how how do we do that together okay so that's number two and then number three

Speaker 1 this is going to be an unpopular one, but we got to stop teaching our kids that the only way to be successful financially is to have a high credit score.

Speaker 1 We got to stop saying that. I don't even, maybe I'm weird, but I never even, I don't even know what my credit score is.
I never, I never tried to get my credit score.

Speaker 1 I didn't even like check what my credit score was until like a year ago when I had to do some,

Speaker 1 I don't know, I signed up for some financial services thing and they had to like check it. And I was like, okay, it's never meant anything to me.
Right, right.

Speaker 1 Well, first off, I've never bought a house. I've always rented.
Yeah, yeah. So it's never mattered, I guess, because I've never tried to buy a house.

Speaker 1 And then I don't know what else I would need it for because I'm just

Speaker 1 bought cash. You bought cash? Yeah, I bought it.

Speaker 1 Well, I had a used car. My dad taught me this principal.
He always had used cars. Yep, me too.
And he had a used car for like 10, 15 years.

Speaker 1 I mean, he would keep it perfectly clean and highest condition for like 10, 15 years. Yeah, yeah.
So it always looked and felt new, even though it was old. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But that came from the teaching of your father, though. Yeah.
Because he didn't have a flashy car. Exactly.

Speaker 1 And nowadays, and then too, growing up, because we're right around the same age, social media wasn't big back then. So we didn't see all the flashy stuff.

Speaker 1 You just saw your neighbor maybe had a nice car and that was it. Or your friend or whatever had

Speaker 1 to be something like that. So like now this generation of kids are seeing the flashy stuff.
Oh, you got to have the nice car to be perceived as successful.

Speaker 1 And if that's your thing, you like flashy cars, you like flashy water, that's your thing. That's your thing.
Cool. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But don't do it because you need to feel better about yourself. In my opinion.
And it goes back to the core. Yeah.
When you really know who you are, you operate and you walk differently. Yes.

Speaker 1 And that is something that over the last few years, I've really mastered and really keep drilling into myself. This is who you are.
This is where you're going. I like cars.
I am a car. There you go.

Speaker 1 So it's your thing. That is my thing.
But you know what? I'm really coming to value a whole lot more than cars is I want a wife. Right.
You know, I want kids.

Speaker 1 You know, and it's like, I value that more.

Speaker 1 And when I say I value that, man, I didn't go to Disney World. You know, I haven't been to Disney World yet because, you know, growing up, my family couldn't afford it.

Speaker 1 You've been to Disneyland up here in LA? I haven't been to Disneyland. Wow.
And I've been to Six Flags. Yeah.
You know, but

Speaker 1 we couldn't afford stepchild of Disneyland. Exactly.

Speaker 1 You know, we couldn't afford the family trips or spring breaks. And it's like, man, when I think about it now,

Speaker 1 I'm trying to steward and maximize my single season so that

Speaker 1 way when I do have a wife,

Speaker 1 I do have kids, I can say yes to my wife because I steward this season well.

Speaker 1 And it's like one of the things I'm really teaching myself is as a young man dating right when it comes to my money is I would rather tell my girlfriends no today so I can tell my wife yes tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Let's go. You know what I'm saying? It's like, I don't have a problem telling them, hey, not, I'm not going to spend $100 on a date on you right now, you know, because you may not be my wife.

Speaker 1 But I refuse to tell my wife no because I told all of them yes.

Speaker 1 And as I'm maturing and as I'm growing, I'm realizing that the caliber of my financial future and the caliber of my future family's future is depending upon the choices that I make today.

Speaker 1 And so I have to be willing and be strong at my core to say no to things that will set me up for my future. And I want my wife to be like, thank you for telling them no.

Speaker 1 I want my kids, because I remember my mom and dad, unfortunately, I have great parents, but I remember wearing

Speaker 1 shoes that had holes at the bottom of it and we had to put tape on the bottom of it. I don't want that to be my kids.
And the decisions that I made today impacts that.

Speaker 1 You know, I want to be able to take my kids to Disney World. That's the only reason why I haven't been.
I've dated ladies with kids. Let's go to Disney World.
Nope.

Speaker 1 Why not? I want to go there with my wife and my kids. Wow.
I don't want to to go there with my girlfriend and her kids. I want to go there with my wife and

Speaker 1 my kids. You know, I want to be able to do things with my family that my family couldn't do when I was growing up.
It's cool. And so I'm learning to I'm valuing that more.

Speaker 1 I get that wakes me up every day. That gets me excited every day.
That gets me on my YouTube channel every single day because I'm working for them and then I'm also working for the community.

Speaker 1 That's cool. What's the third thing that parents should be doing more?

Speaker 1 The last one we talked about, like,

Speaker 1 don't tell them the only way to be successful is to have a 700, 800 credit score. Got it, got it.

Speaker 1 Which goes into one thing that they're not doing enough is really having the money conversation with them early on as possible.

Speaker 1 You know, I think that parents, as soon as they say mama, as soon as they say daddy, you need to start having a money conversation.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. At two? Absolutely.
What are those conversations they should be having? It's on their level. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 If the kid is saying, hey, mom, can I get a piece of candy? Well, they understand that candy. Tell them, hey, it costs money.
And show them, hey, you got to give this in exchange for that.

Speaker 1 But let's, you know, pass that level. Let's start having a conversation with middle schoolers.
One of my good friends has a private school in Nashville.

Speaker 1 I went to read books with them last, a couple of months ago again, right? When I walk into their school, she has a picture of all of her kids on college campuses. These are middle school kids.

Speaker 1 That's cool. Fifth grade.
And I said, what are you doing? She said, actually, if you look on this one, those are third graders. And I was like, you're taking them to college?

Speaker 1 Do they even understand what they're looking at? She says, no. But young people are impressionable at a very young age.

Speaker 1 So they will remember like, hey, I want to go here, so I need to work hard right now.

Speaker 1 And so it was like, we have to stop saying our young people are young. If they can remember songs, if they can remember famous dances from TikTok, they can remember the conversation around money.

Speaker 1 So we got to have that conversation as early as possible. So that way, when they get into high school, they are already aware of what's going on with the finances.

Speaker 1 Talking about the stick figures with the partner and the kids, and the kids' kids.

Speaker 1 How important is choosing the right partner in making money,

Speaker 1 keeping money,

Speaker 1 investing money, building money?

Speaker 1 That's the second most important decision of my life.

Speaker 1 Choosing the right person. The first one is.
That's just my spiritual walk. Just, you know, just being a Christian.
I think that was the first part. The first and most important part.

Speaker 1 The second most is

Speaker 1 the right partner. Yep, and choosing the right wife.

Speaker 1 You want me to be real? I'm trying not to get emotional. I had the right wife.
You did. I let her go.
Why? Because I was young. I was dumb.
Ooh. I was immature.
Dang. I was selfish.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I didn't,

Speaker 1 I thought I wanted something else.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I let it go.

Speaker 1 And so now it's like, okay,

Speaker 1 let's fix it. Because,

Speaker 1 you know, hey, you don't want to pass up on that again. I believe that.
The quality of my future is depending upon the quality of my life.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I had that there. But because of the immaturity, because of the

Speaker 1 looking at what everyone else had around me,

Speaker 1 I let someone go who could have been my wife.

Speaker 1 And I learned from that. You know,

Speaker 1 it was a hard season for me because I had to...

Speaker 1 One of the things I've learned that wealthy people do very well is they confess when they're wrong. And they tell themselves, themselves, yo, you messed up.

Speaker 1 How do we make sure we do not make this decision again?

Speaker 1 That's when I say, you know what, let me submit myself to a married couple to get wisdom. You know what?

Speaker 1 Let me just talk more to my therapist about this area so I can make sure that the next time I have the opportunity to meet an amazing woman that I do not pass up on that again.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 My partner is the second most decision because this is the woman that will be raising my my daughter this is the woman that'd be raising my son this is the woman that together we're going to build an empire

Speaker 1 I need the I need a partner that we are aligned in sync and we have each other's back

Speaker 1 what would be the three questions you would ask about money before you would move forward on a commitment of like dating maybe you're dating for a few dates but I wouldn't even go I'm not even getting into a committed relationship with the woman until we have a money conversation.

Speaker 1 And what should that conversation consist of? The very first question is, I'm asking her is,

Speaker 1 what was the conversation you had about money growing up?

Speaker 1 You know, what did your parents

Speaker 1 teach you about money?

Speaker 1 And then two,

Speaker 1 for me,

Speaker 1 what's your thoughts around ownership? What's your thoughts around debt?

Speaker 1 And then three, it's a fun one, but it answers a lot of questions. It's going to answer a lot.
You have a million dollars right now. What are you doing with it?

Speaker 1 Yep. What are you doing with it? And

Speaker 1 a bonus one that I really, really, really

Speaker 1 have this conversation on both sides. What do you value most?

Speaker 1 In life? Yes. Like,

Speaker 1 what's valuable to you? that money cannot buy.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 it just starts the conversation going. And I think really understanding the root of the individual really sets you up to understand, okay, how they're going to be thinking proceeding forward.

Speaker 1 What do people in their 20s and 30s have to deal with if they don't have those conversations in their,

Speaker 1 you know, middle school teenage years?

Speaker 1 You know, that was me. You know, we're going to have to deal with the lack of a lot of information that's important.
The lack of understanding.

Speaker 1 What I did at 18 and 19, I'm still paying for today at 37 years. Really? Still? Absolutely.
What things? I mean,

Speaker 1 I have collection items on my credit report. You know, every time I bought two homes, you know, over the last three years, I had to explain that.
And I'm the money guy.

Speaker 1 You know, it's like, Anthony, whoa, wait. What is this question? What we see is from X amount of years ago.
Right. Because we don't have the conversation.

Speaker 1 Everyone thinks, well, it'll be off in seven years. Well, here's the thing: when it comes to money, it will be all.

Speaker 1 Let's say, for example you own that particular collection item and let's say you sell it to me now i can put it back on their credit report for another seven years so just because it was a 15 year old uh situation that i had if it got sold to another company collection agency it restarts the whole process over again So I still have some items on my credit report from when I was 20 years old.

Speaker 1 And that's embarrassing when I go in there because no one sat down with me and had the true conversation around what is a credit card what is interest what's the difference between a credit card and a debit card no one sat down and had that conversation with me my mama told me you don't need a credit card she just said don't do it she didn't explain to me why not no one sat down and had the hard conversation and gave me the education so without that education i made poor decisions right and when a credit card is so easy to open up and everyone's selling them to you and hey get this you get a couple hundred dollars free when you open it up easy everywhere you go is by credit card.

Speaker 1 You can't go into the mall without being offered a credit card when you're checking out. You can't even go into Walmart anymore these days.
You know, everything is about credit.

Speaker 1 And again, I'm not knocking people who go down that route. I don't do that route.

Speaker 1 I actually enjoy the freedom of waking up every single month and having the freedom of saying, you know what, I don't owe anybody. I just owe my mortgage.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love getting into my car and I have no car note. I love going to the mailbox and excited to go to my mailbox because there may be a check in there.
No bills. No bills.

Speaker 1 You know, I don't know about you, but I remember when every time my cell phone rang, if I didn't recognize the number, I didn't pick it up because it was when collection agencies calling me.

Speaker 1 It feels good when my phone rings, I can, hello? What's up?

Speaker 1 I'm proud to answer it. And so if we don't give people that proper information, twin-year-olds now

Speaker 1 tend to build this negative relationship with money. And they're not really building wealth.
And think about it.

Speaker 1 If we can start having this education now, we should be seeing more twin-year-olds being successful. Millionaires are being made now.

Speaker 1 If you're dropping a course or if you're sitting at home and you're playing video games, people are actually making millions online right now.

Speaker 1 But if we have the conversation with them now, we can see a lot more younger people really producing income. What else is keeping most people broke? Is it a mindset? Is it the habits and the actions?

Speaker 1 Is it the environment, the people they spend time with? Is it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. For me, it's a network.
You know, I have this, it's not my rule. It's a philosophy that I go by 33%, 33%, 33%.

Speaker 1 The first 30% of people who are talking into you.

Speaker 1 So I think a lot of people, especially young people, are not really building wealth because they don't have the right people talking into their lives, saying, hey, here's what you need to be doing.

Speaker 1 Here's what you should be reading. Here's what you should be investing into.

Speaker 1 And so if you don't have the right people talking into your life from wisdom, like I've called you from wisdom on a lot of different things.

Speaker 1 We're the same age, but you're wiser than me in certain areas. So hey, Lewis, what do you think about this? So they don't have the right people talking into them.

Speaker 1 Then the next one is who are they doing life with? So if you're dating someone that is all about, hey, I want to go here, I want to do this, and I don't care if we have the money, let's finance it.

Speaker 1 And if you're have, if you have friends in your circle that are saying, hey, let's go on this trip for spring break. Let's just take our student loan refund check and put it on there.

Speaker 1 Then that keeps them in a certain bracket. And then they're not really depositing anything into anyone.
So for me, when it comes to, you know, the lack of building wealth, who are you around?

Speaker 1 So the people that are depositing into you, the the people kind of in your same sphere of influence what decisions are you making together yep

Speaker 1 and then are you depositing into someone else are you are and and if you're not here's the thing we're just reduplicating it if you don't have someone depositing into you if you don't have someone who you're doing life with on a healthy way you can't deposit something positive into them so you have nothing to give exactly you have nothing to teach nothing to give you're teaching them you just teach them the wrong things

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Speaker 1 You are an example of what you do consistently every day, year after year, decade after decade, playing the long game of what you can create in the physical world.

Speaker 1 And I think that's a good representation of what I've learned from you about building wealth over time. It's not about doing it quickly.

Speaker 1 It's not about trying to find some scheme that you can get into and build this overnight, but it's about doing the consistent integrity things over time.

Speaker 1 I'm curious, besides the steps, the seven baby steps, what are a few things people can start doing to increase the odds of wealth wealth over time? To increasing the odds?

Speaker 1 Is it something mentally they can do, spiritually they can do? Is there something in their relationships they can do differently to increase the odds? Well, I think the first thing is

Speaker 1 you have to have

Speaker 1 I mean, we were sitting in one of our leadership team meetings yesterday, as a matter of fact, here at Ramsey, and we were looking at a business unit, and they kept going, well, we need to do this, we need to do this.

Speaker 1 And we did not have agreement on

Speaker 1 the baseline data of what was actually going on. One person thought one thing was going on, one thought another was going on.
And I said, we got to back up. We got to put data in front of us.

Speaker 1 And once we all agree on exactly where we are, then we can discuss where we're going. And I think

Speaker 1 building wealth or having a high-quality life in any area is a little bit like that. You need to back up and say, okay, what are the principles? before I worry about the tactics.

Speaker 1 And the principles should lead us to the tactics. And the five money principles, if we wanted to to pull some out, there would be common sense biblical things that are kind of boring.

Speaker 1 But if you lay those principles in place, then they'll lead you to the tactics. I mean, here's one, live on less than you make.

Speaker 1 Now, that sounds kind of almost glib, you know? But the Bible says the borrower is, and it says a foolish man devours all he has. Live on less than you make.

Speaker 1 You need to be on a written plan. In anything you're doing, if you don't do it intentionally, it's not going to occur.
No one wins anything accidentally.

Speaker 1 It's an intentional act. Winning always is at marriage, at taking care of your body, building a business, you know, money.
No one accidentally gets wealthy. It's just, oh, what happened?

Speaker 1 No one does that. So that's a written plan.
That's called a budget.

Speaker 1 You know, and so we got to have a budget. We got to live on less than we make.
If you get out of debt mathematically, what it does is you have money to invest.

Speaker 1 Because when you have a $750 payment on your Ford F-150, you got no money.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 that money is going to Ford instead of to you. It's not going in your 401k.
And so that's what the borrower is slave to the lender means.

Speaker 1 But also what happens when you get out of debt is you have this sense of freedom. You have this sense of autonomy, this sense of agency.
You're not being controlled by the man.

Speaker 1 Stinking Bank of America doesn't tell you what to do. Ford Motor Credit doesn't tell you what to do.
So you don't have to keep a horrible job. You can move to a better job and take that risk.

Speaker 1 But if you got to pay payments,

Speaker 1 you don't feel free.

Speaker 1 And so, you know, being out of debt, living on less than you make, having a written plan, obviously saving and investing. Obviously, in the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil.

Speaker 1 Grandma said, have money saved for a rainy day. We start with an emergency fund and then we long-term invest.

Speaker 1 And the largest study of millionaires ever done in North America, we did it here at Ramsey.

Speaker 1 We discovered that the typical way someone gets their first one to $5 million is is they have a paid-off house and they have a really healthy 401k or Roth IRA combo in good mutual funds.

Speaker 1 And so they'll be sitting there with a million dollars

Speaker 1 in their retirement accounts after 10, 12, 15 years of doing this, and they got a half million dollar or $700,000 paid-for house. So they got a $1.7 million net worth.

Speaker 1 And so this save money. Save money.
And the weird thing is, that there's no all the get-rich-quick stuff on TikTok and all that. It is all crypto and

Speaker 1 everything. There's always some way.
There's a new version of stupid every year, you know?

Speaker 1 And but but why is that?

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Why is that so enticing?

Speaker 1 Why do so many people jump into that with all their money or all their savings or take out debt just to invest in the 17 new things a year that seem like one or two people actually made a few million dollars?

Speaker 1 but probably end up losing it a year later. Why is that such an enticing thing for people who work so hard at making their money?

Speaker 1 Well, taking the long haul, being the tortoise versus the hare, is not human nature.

Speaker 1 Our brains are wired by God for efficiency. You know, we want to burn the least calories possible to get the job done, whatever it is, which in the financial world causes us to look at get rich quick.

Speaker 1 And we don't think of it as stupid. I didn't think of it as stupid when I did it in the 80s.
And,

Speaker 1 you know, I started with nothing, had $4 million worth of real estate, lost everything because I borrowed too much money on the real estate and crashed my own life down on my head.

Speaker 1 I didn't think I was being foolish, foolhardy, impulsive. I thought I was burning the least calories to get to the goal.
Yeah, you were being smart.

Speaker 1 I thought this is the way to go. And people that are buying crypto, that's what they think.
I mean, no one thinks they're gambling.

Speaker 1 They don't think, oh, this has worse odds than a roulette wheel, which it actually did mathematically, you know, but they didn't think that.

Speaker 1 They thought this is the least calories to burn to get to the goal. So that's just the human brain doing what it's supposed to do.
We're just efficiency experts all the time in everything we do.

Speaker 1 What's the least effort to get to the goal? How often does someone, when they know like, hey, this is a big risk investment,

Speaker 1 the chances are of you making, you know, 10x on your return in one year or six months is so slim, or 100x returns in two years is so slim.

Speaker 1 But why do people sometimes go all in on the money they have or 90% of their money on things that have a 1% chance of actually getting more than a double return within a year?

Speaker 1 Well, there's two reasons. One is they don't believe there's only a 1% chance.

Speaker 1 They believe, again, it's the most efficient way to get there. I didn't think that there was a high probability I was going to fail doing nothing down real estate.
I did not.

Speaker 1 It never occurred to me, number one. And then number two, pride comes right before the fall.

Speaker 1 There's an arrogance.

Speaker 1 I understood that debt knocked over some people. I understood that sometimes people got in trouble, but I thought, oh, I can do this.

Speaker 1 I'm smart enough. 26 years of your wisdom, you could do that.
That's right, man. After 24 and a half years and a college degree in real estate, by God, I can do this.

Speaker 1 And there was that in there, that arrogant little twerp, you know, he was there.

Speaker 1 And so there's a combination of this pride and that then leads you to, again, these principles that lead you to bad tactics or principles that lead you to good tactics.

Speaker 1 And the principle was a bad principle that I was functioning in.

Speaker 1 And I, you know, just put a little icing on the cake of a little pride, a little arrogance that says, oh, yeah, I know, I know that for that guy, but I'm really good at math.

Speaker 1 And I grew up in the real estate business, and I know,

Speaker 1 I know things. Just ask me, you know, and that you see this.
You can actually see that dripping off of some of the stuff that's posted on the Get Rich Quick stuff.

Speaker 1 Stuff that criticizes you, stuff that criticizes me, stuff that criticizes our friend Craig Grochelle or whoever.

Speaker 1 I mean, you could see anybody that's playing a long game, or, you know, Simon Sinek's Infinite Game, right?

Speaker 1 Anybody that's playing a long game, the short-term thinkers all have to pile on, and there's always that dripping arrogance around it. I couldn't recognize it because I was the same guy.

Speaker 1 I did the same. I would have been the guy trashing that guy.

Speaker 1 I would have been the guy trashing me when I was 26 because I would have been going, no, that doesn't apply to me. Yeah, I understand, Ramsey, but that's for regular people.

Speaker 1 I'm smarter than I'm not regular people.

Speaker 1 So there's that in there. So we got to get out of debt.
We've got live on less than you make. We've got to have a budget.
We've got to save.

Speaker 1 And the last one is you need to be outlandishly, outrageously generous and walk around with an open hand.

Speaker 1 What does generous mean for people that

Speaker 1 feel like they're struggling to live their own lifestyle of...

Speaker 1 going out with friends once a week or having a dinner every couple of weeks or just doing some basic activities to enjoy life beyond free activities?

Speaker 1 How does generosity look like for those individuals? See, generous is not an action. Generous is a character quality.

Speaker 1 And like integrity, it's a character quality that you choose. You're not born with it.

Speaker 1 It's not installed. You have to say, I am a generous person.

Speaker 1 As our friend James Clear says, he says, our habits come from our identity, so change your identity and your habits will follow, right?

Speaker 1 The whole essence of atomic habits is a best-selling book, and which is wonderful material and so the

Speaker 1 but but I am a generous person okay now what does that mean yeah there's obviously a money thing that might mean I give 10% to my church a tithe that might mean I pick up the bill at dinner it might mean I look across the room and someone's wearing military fatigues and I buy their lunch it might or a policeman or a fireman or a nurse you know I'm in scrubs I might that might it might mean something that simple tactically but it could mean I just opened the door for someone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a generous heart. It could mean, because here's the thing.
We all know the difference in a taker and a giver. We know the difference in selfless versus self-ish.

Speaker 1 When you hang out with self-ish people, you feel like you need to take a shower when you're done, you know? And when you hang out with selfless people, so I can just decide to do that.

Speaker 1 I don't have to have a lot of money

Speaker 1 because generous people are highly attractive.

Speaker 1 Not because they give you stuff, but they're highly attractive because they're that they, and they're very seldom depressed.

Speaker 1 They almost always have a positive outlook. They don't have a scarcity mentality.
They have an abundance mentality.

Speaker 1 And all of this is just a decision.

Speaker 1 I just, I'm going to, instead of being, but, but what happens is we become overwhelmed with the financial stress and we turn it in and we become navel gazers, worried about me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, because I got to take care of me, me, me, me, me, me.

Speaker 1 And if I don't take care of me, me, me, me, the lights get cut off.

Speaker 1 And it doesn't take much margin to push all of that back as a decision and just say, no,

Speaker 1 I'm going to leave a tip that's outlandish.

Speaker 1 You know, I watched a guy the other day park a Mercedes. He pulled up in a car.
I know the car because I looked at it one time. It was $140,000 car.
And he hands the valet five bucks.

Speaker 1 I'm like, dude, this is Ferris Bueller's Day Out. You just gave a guy five bucks to park $140,000.
You are out of your mind.

Speaker 1 That's a lack of generosity that could really cost you. I want them taking care of Mr.
Ramsey's car like it's their daughter, you know? And that's the tip I want to leave

Speaker 1 for selfish reasons. Hello.

Speaker 1 Protect your car. Exactly.
I'm curious,

Speaker 1 what was the most generous year you've ever been financially? You don't have to say how much you gave or tithed that year, but what was the most you ever

Speaker 1 gave back in one year? Can you remember that year? Yeah, yeah. It was year before last.

Speaker 1 Because I had a goal.

Speaker 1 I met this, I've been hanging out with these generous guys, these guys that have a lot of money and gals and trying to learn from them.

Speaker 1 And one of the things I learned is the intentionality behind their generosity. They're very careful.

Speaker 1 They do large gifts as if they're doing an investment. Really? They do due diligence.
Can you explain? Well, they do due diligence on the organization.

Speaker 1 You know, if they're wasteful, they're not handling money well, they don't treat their people well behind the scenes, 89% is going to overhead and 11% is going to hungry children, then this is a problem.

Speaker 1 That means somebody's got too nice a car in a pile, right? And so

Speaker 1 they investigate and go into it. That's one thing they do on large gifts.

Speaker 1 And two, if you've got an organization that's weak and their money is struggling and you give them too much, you can destroy them. Really? Much like a lottery winner.

Speaker 1 They're not ready for it mentally or emotionally. They don't have the character to carry it.

Speaker 1 They don't have the processes and the systems in the organization

Speaker 1 in the nonprofit of the ministry to carry it. And so you can actually, you know, you go into a church of 30 people and you tie the million dollars, you can ruin the place.

Speaker 1 So what questions should you ask an organization, a church, or a foundation that you want to give a big sum of

Speaker 1 money to, what questions should you ask the leaders to know that they have a mindset capable of managing that much money?

Speaker 1 Because typically if you come from not having enough, and that's how you've always been, and then all of a sudden you get more, you may not be ready for it.

Speaker 1 So what questions should we ask before we make those investments and give that generously to know that, okay, this person is actually at the right stage of their life to handle this big lump sum of money

Speaker 1 and all the donors that I'm going to bring them?

Speaker 1 My daughter, Denise, runs our family foundation, handles all the Ramsey Philanthropy.

Speaker 1 And the thing that she and I have agreed on in that is I want her to approach the ministry like we are venture capitalists and we're going to buy them. Like looking at their books.

Speaker 1 I'm going to buy them. Yeah.
I'm going to buy them. I want to know how they're running the place.
I want to know their HR issues.

Speaker 1 I want to know their systems and processes for growth. I want to know how they manage things.
How chaotic is it?

Speaker 1 Is there accounting systems in place?

Speaker 1 I want to know the delivery mechanism of the actual goal of the ministry. Again, feeding hungry kids, how are we feeding hungry kids? What's that look like? What's it cost per kid?

Speaker 1 How many kids do we feed? And what's our goals? And what's our vision for that? And just like you're buying it.

Speaker 1 And then you can come alongside them and partner with them. And we're not trying to take them over.
We're not trying to run them. Don't want to do that.
That's their problem.

Speaker 1 God gave them that to do, not me, not Denise. But we're going to approach it that way as due diligence.
And then that gives us a different set of eyes. And here's what's weird.

Speaker 1 Because we teach leadership and because we run a large business uh we actually can help them sometimes yeah by advising them and say you know what if you would just change that a little bit then we could change our giving like this and we're not trying to tell you what to do we're not trying to bribe you but we're just trying to come alongside you and love you well help you you know increase your capacity increase your efficiency for the goals that God's given you to do here.

Speaker 1 And it's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun.
And so it changes our mindset of just instead of like, we're going to throw some money over the fence, hope it all works out.

Speaker 1 If we come alongside them as if we're buying them or as if we're a venture capitalist and we're going to partner with them or something like that, then we're going to bring our advice.

Speaker 1 So obviously, then the Ramsey Family Foundation does not give to ministries that borrow money.

Speaker 1 Obviously. Right, right.
That's a deal killer for us. That doesn't have to be for everybody, but we teach people not to borrow money.
Why would we then give money to someone who's borrowing?

Speaker 1 That's kind of dumb. So we wouldn't do that.

Speaker 1 But back to the other thing.

Speaker 1 My goal was: I saw one guy, he gave away a million dollars in a year. I thought that would be very, very cool to figure out a way that we,

Speaker 1 and many years ago,

Speaker 1 we were able to do that the first time. Yeah.
Many years ago.

Speaker 1 And then I thought, well, what can we do next? I want to give away a million dollars in a day. Wow.
And we pulled that off. Come on.
We pulled that off. That was so fun.

Speaker 1 It included the gifts to our team for Christmas. It included supporting several ministries simultaneously at Christmas, a children's home in the area.

Speaker 1 It included buying some stuff for this thing and that thing. We did it all, brought everybody under under this roof here and did it all in this huge celebration one day.

Speaker 1 Not to point at us, but it was, I got to tell you, it was one of the most fun days I've ever had in my life because generosity is fun. It feels good, too.
It does. It's a blast.

Speaker 1 It's the most fun you'll ever have with money. Now, you said, I think you said the year before last was the most that you gave.

Speaker 1 That was that million dollar day. That was it.
Okay, so. So essentially like a year and a month or ago or something, right? Is that what it was?

Speaker 1 I guess. Sure.
Year and a half ago or something like that. I'm curious.

Speaker 1 Every individual that I've interviewed or talked to, you know, 10 plus years my senior,

Speaker 1 they all talk, who I really admire, they all talk about generosity and giving and making it something you do early on in your life in any way, capacity that you can, and giving more and more the more you are able to give more.

Speaker 1 And they say, the thing that always happens is I always make more when I give, even like a little bit uncomfortably, when I give more than I think, oh, can I really do this?

Speaker 1 The next year always becomes bigger. I'm curious, was the last year one of your biggest years? No, no, no, but it will be over, it will be over a decade, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, because I, I mean, we're being impacted by outside variables like everyone.

Speaker 1 I mean, we got supply chain is affecting, the economics are affecting, energy costs are affecting, hiring, cost of labor is affecting us, everything's affecting us. So, no, we're

Speaker 1 actually not up immediately following that. But I am am 100% convinced that over a decade we'll be way up.
Yeah. Because I've done it before.

Speaker 1 I've stretched and done it before, done the unusual thing, had the celebration with no thought of the return. Yes.

Speaker 1 If you do it with the thought of a return, then that's you telling God what to do. That doesn't work.
He thinks he's God, so that won't work.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 this idea that

Speaker 1 again.

Speaker 1 Generous people are just more fun to do stuff with. They're more attractive.
They're more fun. They're more attractive.
And you just end up having opportunities come.

Speaker 1 I mean, think about it in a simplistic way. Let's say you were a leader in an organization and you had two people working for you vying for a promotion.
And obviously, what are we going to do here?

Speaker 1 One's the selfish, look like he's weaned on a pickle, you know,

Speaker 1 and the other lady is she's generous and she's kind.

Speaker 1 She's always doing, she's always stepping outside of her own job description and helping someone else get the project done and not taking the credit for it. Who gets the promotion? Of course.

Speaker 1 Of course. And

Speaker 1 it's not because because you're somehow beholden to her for that. It's just, that's who I want to work with every day.
People with good attitude, good stuff. That's who I want beside me.

Speaker 1 I don't want Mr. Wend on a pickle hanging out.
I don't want to hang out with this guy. Right.
You know, he's awful. It's awful.
You know? What do you think happens to people that never give?

Speaker 1 That they just earn for themselves or they keep it in their business and they only put it back in their business, but they don't think about giving outside of the business.

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Speaker 1 I think their growth is stunted, Really?

Speaker 1 But, you know, to me, again, it falls in the same category as integrity.

Speaker 1 What happens to someone who cuts corners?

Speaker 1 You can win. You can prosper to a degree.
But all the data tells us and all the life experience tells us that the people with fanatical levels of integrity are the ones that do the biggest stuff.

Speaker 1 The crooks really don't get ahead at the end of the day. The people people that are selfish,

Speaker 1 they could get some stuff done, but the people that are selfless, they just have a tendency because people trust them.

Speaker 1 That trust factor comes in. Things move at the speed of trust, as they say.
And

Speaker 1 all those things come into play and you just don't become all you were designed to be. The other thing that happens with generosity is your creativity increases.

Speaker 1 Yes. Because you're releasing chemicals that you don't release when you're selfish.
Your productivity increases.

Speaker 1 The quality of your relationships increase. I was speaking at a little Baptist church in Kentucky one time, beautiful little church, and the guy many, many years ago.

Speaker 1 And the old pastor had been there for 40 years. And I did a tithing lesson, hardcore, you know, Baptist tithing lesson, which I love.

Speaker 1 And the guy came up afterwards and he goes, well, you left one thing out.

Speaker 1 Sure, Pastor. I mean, you've been doing this longer than me.
What did I leave out? He goes, you know, I've been doing this 40 years. I've never had a tithing couple in my church get a divorce.

Speaker 1 And I went, why? Because the tithe is magical. Because some people think that in Christianity, you know, because I don't think that.
He said, no.

Speaker 1 Because when you're unselfish with your money, you're unselfish with your wife.

Speaker 1 And you're unselfish with your husband. And you serve each other in the marriage if you're serving the community with your giving.
It's the same muscle. And he goes,

Speaker 1 you're just easier to stay married to.

Speaker 1 When you're tithing, when you're giving. When you're giving.

Speaker 1 When you make giving a standard part of the rhythm of your life, you build that generosity muscle and it affects every relationship you're in.

Speaker 1 Particularly the key relationship in marriage. It changes the way you parent.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 Because if you don't give in one area, if you say, I'm going to hold back my money and I'm going to keep it here, you're probably not going to give generously to your spouse or to your kids or to your friends or community, right?

Speaker 1 Because it's a character quality. Interesting.
You know, it's like the guy that says, oh, well, you know, I hate the IRS. I hate taxes.
So I don't really put everything on my tax return.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you're a liar.

Speaker 1 You're a cheater.

Speaker 1 Where are you going to cheat me?

Speaker 1 That's what I started thinking. I'm not impressed.

Speaker 1 I hate taxes, but I pay every stinking penny, not because I believe in taxes and not because I'm scared of the IRS, because neither one of those things are true, but it's because it says something about me.

Speaker 1 I got to look at me. And that's an integrity issue.

Speaker 1 Every penny, every cash sale of a book on the back table goes into the accounting system, and we pay freaking taxes on it. I got audited not long ago.
I paid precisely zero in the audit.

Speaker 1 We were so stinking clean. And it's not because I'm scared of those dupers, because I'm really not.
They're a pain in the butt, but I'm not scared of them.

Speaker 1 It's a matter of integrity is integrity is integrity is integrity. Generosity is generosity is generosity is generosity.

Speaker 1 These things, the stuff, these are character qualities of the successful people that I've met. Yeah, that's beautiful.
Speaking of marriage,

Speaker 1 it seems like money affects marriages a lot. I'm curious what, or it could empower marriages or it could hurt marriages if not handled properly.
I'm curious

Speaker 1 if you were to give advice on some a couple dating for a few years looking to get married, what are a few questions they must have and align to about money that might be uncomfortable to have those questions, but will actually get you clear on, hey, are we the right match in terms of our money mindset, in terms of what we're going to do with money for the next, and maybe you have this question in the first few months of dating.

Speaker 1 You don't wait two years, but what are those questions that people should be asking before they align with someone romantically long-term?

Speaker 1 Well, there's a couple of things to think, keep in mind, I'm talking to a young couple about this, and I do often in a marriage seminar or something like that,

Speaker 1 or a pre-marriage counseling session or something like that.

Speaker 1 The number one cause of divorce is money fights and money problems out there, the stress of money and the arguments over money. Okay.

Speaker 1 And so if you said the number one cause of death is getting killed by a bear on the way to the mailbox, right?

Speaker 1 then you would analyze how not to get killed by a bear on the way to the mailbox. Right.
And so if you're going to get married, you should really look at the number one freaking thing. Hello.

Speaker 1 This is the number one thing that either hurts or ends marriage, is what I'm hearing you say. Yeah.
And the odd thing is, is it's actually circular.

Speaker 1 It's an infinity loop because it feeds back on itself, meaning that it also, the quality of your marriage is a high data point indicator as to whether or not you build wealth. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so very few people drag a spouse kicking and screaming into millionaire status. You know?

Speaker 1 You mean it doesn't happen by accident? You know, so I'm bringing the princess with me, right? Come on, baby. And put you on my back, and we're going to haul you over there.

Speaker 1 It doesn't usually work, okay? Or I'm bringing the guy

Speaker 1 who's lazy and won't work, and I'm going to outwork him. And the lady says, and he's a little boy, and I'm going to be his mommy, and I'm going to drag him all the way into millionaire status.

Speaker 1 Not working, baby. Right.
So

Speaker 1 it goes both directions. But so that's thing one.
If it's the number one cause, then yeah, it ought to be something really you discuss.

Speaker 1 So preventative maintenance, right? Yes.

Speaker 1 You know, it's,

Speaker 1 you know, preventative health. If the number one cause of death is obesity, we probably ought to think about obesity, you know? I'm curious then,

Speaker 1 what's a question a woman should ask to her man, you know, within the first few months of dating about money where she could get a sense if he's fully honest and integrity with what he's saying and not just saying something to make her, you know, feel happy.

Speaker 1 What is a question she can ask to feel like, okay, this man I'm dating and courting and we're getting into this life with, I feel like I can trust him with money for the future. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, money is a reflection of our values, how we handle money, and that's another reason that it's very important.

Speaker 1 Because if your values are not aligned, you're going to struggle in any relationship, but certainly in a marriage relationship. And so,

Speaker 1 you know, talk about the basics of money. Debt.

Speaker 1 Oh, I love debt. I'm going to use it all the time.
You know, I want zero down everything. I'm going to buy a zero down truck.
I'm going to buy a zero down stereo. I'm going to buy a zero down couch.

Speaker 1 I'm going to put nothing down on the house.

Speaker 1 And you hate debt? Okay, we got a problem. We're going to have to work through this or we're going to have to, this is a deal killer.
Okay. How about saving? I don't think you've got to save money.

Speaker 1 You can always get you some. I always thought you could out-earn your stupidity.
I tried that for years. It didn't work, you know.
So my wife, however, is a natural saver, right?

Speaker 1 So when I joined her club is when we started winning. Yeah.
You know, so bless her heart. She didn't know this going in, but it made a hard life for her the first seven years.
But the

Speaker 1 so saving and debt, how about generosity? I don't believe you ought to give. If you give, you end up with less.
It's mathematically factual, which it is actually.

Speaker 1 But that's short-term thinking. That's a finite game instead of an infinite game.
Again, using Simon's premise on his book.

Speaker 1 And so generosity. The things we just talked about.
Now, how about living on a, are we going to live in chaos?

Speaker 1 Are we going to live with a plan? Yeah, I want to live with peace or chaos. Are we going to live with future-minded or YOLO?

Speaker 1 You know, you only live once. Thank God it's Friday.
I'm living for the weekend. Our marriage theme song is Huey Lewis in the news, right? I mean, come on.
Is this us?

Speaker 1 And if it is, then, you know, because this, what's this tell you? Anyone that lives short-term thinking, we know they're emotionally immature. Yes.
Spiritually immature.

Speaker 1 And so you're marrying someone or you're dating someone that's emotionally immature and they're fun. They're always fun.

Speaker 1 But it's not fun in the long term because it brings about stress. The fruit of this is nasty.

Speaker 1 And so, now do we have to be perfectly aligned on all those things? No, we just need to understand where the other person stands and are they so far over away from us that it's a deal killer.

Speaker 1 Because my wife is more of a saver than I am by nature. I had saving for me is an intellectual act, a spiritual act of my will.
It is not a natural rhythm. Okay.

Speaker 1 She naturally saves everything. The leftovers in our refrigerator are grotesque.
I mean, it's just, I mean, you know, she saves everything.

Speaker 1 So, but, so to the extent that I can stay close to her on that, then we've got harmony.

Speaker 1 We have both, obviously, with what we've been through, agreed, no doubt. Right.
We are both plan have become planners over the 40 years of marriage. I've always been a detailed planner.

Speaker 1 So, I had to get her to join me more on that. So, you know, but it's better if you do it on the front end than the way we did it.
It's a lot harder the way we did it, but kill each other.

Speaker 1 So, you want to be in agreement on that. And all the data tells us on marriage and divorce statistics, and we've studied this for years, is number one cause of divorce, money.

Speaker 1 The other three, if you can be in agreement on them, religion,

Speaker 1 kids, whether to have them and how to treat them, and how to deal with crazy people in your extended family, your mother-in-law and your crazy brother, your lazy brother who does cocaine, and whatever it is.

Speaker 1 How you're going to deal with... How do you manage it all? How to manage boundaries with extended family.

Speaker 1 And, you know, if one of you thinks that children should just be let run wild and the other one is an over-disciplinarian, we're going to have a problem. Or I want no children and I want 17.

Speaker 1 That's going to be an issue. Or I don't believe there's a God and I think anyone who believes there's a God is an idiot.
Oh, by the way, I think there's a God.

Speaker 1 Oh, see, this is a problem because now I'm an idiot. So there you go.
And so these are the things.

Speaker 1 But if you can agree, because all of these things are representative of your values and what your beliefs are.

Speaker 1 So when you can agree on your money, what you've ended up agreeing on is your dreams, your fears, your visions. You're in agreement.

Speaker 1 You're in alignment on those, not only what they are, but how we're going to go after them then. And now you've got real harmony and you've got a high probability of building wealth.

Speaker 1 That's the odd part of it. That's the infinity loophile.
It comes back in on itself.

Speaker 1 Do you think love is enough if you have

Speaker 1 religion, kids, family boundaries kind of all in alignment in

Speaker 1 harmony? But money is completely apart. But you love each other.
You've been building this life together for a year or two and you're like, should we get married or not? But we are so far apart.

Speaker 1 One's the fun and undisciplined person. One is the extreme saver and, you know, detail-oriented planned person.

Speaker 1 Is love enough to have a successful, long-term, healthy marriage if money is not there?

Speaker 1 I think you've got to be close. You don't have to be exactly aligned, but you've got to be generally thinking.
Because the problem is this.

Speaker 1 Resentment is going to set in, and resentment will kill love.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The eye roll.

Speaker 1 When you roll your eyes,

Speaker 1 that's the beginning of the end. Right.

Speaker 1 Is that called the four horsemen? Exactly. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Yeah. Let's Parrot teach us about that.
And that's some standard John Gottman background stuff.

Speaker 1 But that's one of the four. And that's the big one, by the way, of the four.

Speaker 1 And so, you know, if he won't work,

Speaker 1 he won't keep a job because he just doesn't think that that's that big a deal. It's not a problem.
Eventually you lose respect and the eye rolls.

Speaker 1 And that's the beginning of the end. That's one of the

Speaker 1 most, the largest of the four horsemen by far. So if you can't keep,

Speaker 1 now, again,

Speaker 1 my wife and I joke about our differences

Speaker 1 on saving. Right, right, right.

Speaker 1 But they're not that far apart. Sure.
I mean, and I we freely admit hers is a natural rhythm, mine's a built-in. I had to decide to do it because I see the benefits of it.
So I intellectually will it.

Speaker 1 It's against my DNA. And I like it.
Yeah. I I really don't.
I mean, the only reason I save money is so I can give more and have more. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's the only reason I don't do it because I get joy out of saving money. It's zero.
Right. You know, but I can give more and I can buy more.
Yeah. And that brings me to the point of things.

Speaker 1 Those two things bring me joy. So there you go.

Speaker 1 But that, but that, again, that at least we, though, are in alignment that saving is important, even if it might be for two different reasons.

Speaker 1 If I absolutely believe that it was ridiculous to keep any money saved

Speaker 1 and she had to have some money saved to have peace. Because she's constantly in anxiety because there's no rainy day fund, then that's going to eventually tear up anything you do.
Sure.

Speaker 1 What's the difference between saving and investing at your kind of scale?

Speaker 1 Or someone who's, you know, bringing in over a million dollars a year in their business and they've got some extra cash, what is the difference between saving and investing?

Speaker 1 Is there a difference at that level of like, okay, some money is just saved in an account and others are invested in different areas?

Speaker 1 Savings is short-term, investing is long-term. Okay.
Pretty simple. And you can define what that is.
But I generally eat things three years and less. I'm just saving the money.

Speaker 1 I'm I'm really not putting it in something that's going to be going up and down

Speaker 1 because I need the money there. Right.
You know, and so I've got to have the access to it. So it needs to be it's not going to earn a lot, but it's stable.
Gotcha.

Speaker 1 Investing, I can ride a wave because I'm playing a long game.

Speaker 1 What's the percentages of saving investing that people should be at? Well, you should have an emergency fund personally of three to six months of expenses, the standard rainy day fund.

Speaker 1 Past that, you need to save up and pay cash for whatever you're purchasing.

Speaker 1 So if you've got a car purchase in your future, Christmas this year is in December, if you didn't know, you got to get ready for that. And, you know, that kind of stuff.
I thought it was November.

Speaker 1 They move it occasionally, but just in case, yeah.

Speaker 1 But just in case, a reminder. And so,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 those are savings items. And then past that, everything else would go to investing.

Speaker 1 You know, because basically one saving is for protection, the emergency fund, and the other is for purchases to avoid debt.

Speaker 1 I'm paying cash for my car, paying cash for my couch, paying cash for my trip.

Speaker 1 And those are short-term savings, Christmas, I'm saving short-term savings items. And then long-term saving items, obviously retirement, kids, college, general wealth building,

Speaker 1 beyond that to do other things. And so then I get into, at our level, now that we make a lot of money, we're a little bit mixed up in that we get so much over in the investing pile.

Speaker 1 And a lot of it is not for 30 years from now. A lot of it is for six years from now.

Speaker 1 And so I'll throw money over into a mutual fund until I use it to buy a piece of real estate or something like that. But that's a little different.

Speaker 1 What do you think are three things that rich people do differently than the poor people or people that aren't thinking about building wealth in that way?

Speaker 2 Number one, and you'll be surprised to hear me say this, they don't take inordinate risk.

Speaker 2 You're going to find that the majority of very wealthy people are extremely conservative in how they invest. They don't need to beat the market.
They've already done that.

Speaker 2 They just need to preserve their capital. So what you find them doing, and I don't know what that number is for you, wealth means different things to different people.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 when you are fortunate and you become wealthy, what you'll find is most of those people do not take a lot of risk.

Speaker 2 And they invest in things that are very long term. They don't use a lot of debt, most cases.
They don't use leverage when they're investing. They don't take very speculative positions on.

Speaker 2 You know, you hear that they might buy Bitcoin or they may

Speaker 2 buy a speculative stock, but if you look at it as a percentage of what they're worth, it's nothing. Right.
And so they're willing,

Speaker 2 when they're making that investment, they're saying, I'm willing to lose it. It's entertainment almost for me.
It's not something I think that I'm going to have to live off.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 2 the other thing I found, because I advise a lot of wealthy people, because my companies that I invest in,

Speaker 2 of which I have over 30, at any one time 10% of them are being acquired by a private equity firm or being bought by a strategic.

Speaker 2 And I've known the entrepreneur and maybe it's their first liquidity event. I try and help them on that journey.
And some of them, you know, get $100 million or $80 million.

Speaker 2 We've got plenty of situations like that.

Speaker 1 And they're young.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 what happens is you find out later that entrepreneurs are actually really bad investors.

Speaker 2 They're very good at running a business and they focus myopically on that their whole lives.

Speaker 2 But when they actually get get liquidity, it's usually their husband or wife that was the person that was taking care of the family and mitigating the risk.

Speaker 2 And they're the ones that are the better investor. And that's why I say in a family, you have to have a team approach.
But I've learned this, that you really,

Speaker 2 you'll find that what's successful about families is they know what they're good at, or wealthy people. and they know what they're not good at.
And they don't try and do things they don't understand.

Speaker 2 And this is

Speaker 2 it's important because you have to say, I have limits on my skills.

Speaker 2 I know what I'm good at, but I've been very fortunate and I'm not going to go risk anything now doing something I don't know.

Speaker 2 I see that characteristic a lot. And the other thing that I would say is different,

Speaker 2 and this may have a lot to do with the concept of karma,

Speaker 2 another lesson I learned from my mother, that if you're successful and you talk to wealthy people, you'll always find that there's something that motivates them to be philanthropic, to give money to something that matters to them.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 that's the whole idea of giving back. You've been successful and you have to find the cause that motivates you.
You're willing to spend your time and money supporting. That is a big difference because

Speaker 2 If you believe in karma, and I do, when you do that, it kind of protects you against the horrific downside of something bad happening to you because you're just so greedy.

Speaker 2 You can't, when you had success and you're a wealthy person,

Speaker 2 if you show me a greedy, wealthy person, just wait 10 years. Then you'll just show me a person.

Speaker 2 Somehow karma will separate their money from them. That's what I find.

Speaker 1 Or they'll get sick or something will happen where...

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I really believe this. I really believe it.
And you've got to find those things that you can give back on, that mean something to you. But if you abuse karma it's got a special gift coming for you

Speaker 2 so finding ways to give back are you giving back in a lot of other ways philanthropically right now as well yeah you know i i am i like to have a concentrated approach i call it five and five i prefer to pick five uh charities or in our case um we support a dance

Speaker 2 company, we support some hospitals, some educational institutions, and you know, give enough that it's a material gift and that

Speaker 2 I have a say in how it's spent very often. And above all, I like to see expense ratios reported.

Speaker 2 I generally don't support charities that can't provide, just like an investment, some kind of a statement on where my money went. Right.

Speaker 2 And that is actually something I think Bill Gates is famous for early on, saying, why can't I treat my charitable investments as I do my private ones? and ask for some performance metrics.

Speaker 2 And I kind of believe that he's right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's smart. And what would you say is one other thing that rich people do differently that poor people don't do?

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Speaker 2 This may have a lot to do with, you know, the access to,

Speaker 2 but in the last five years, I've realized how important food is and how, if you're, you know, you say poor, how you should be, or even you should focus on what you put in your body.

Speaker 2 Because in our society, we do two things very badly. We eat too much sodium and we eat too much sugar, white cane sugar.

Speaker 2 And we have been trained to do that since the 40s by a whole industrial complex that wants to sell us that. And I'm guilty of it and so is everybody else.
Salt and sugar feel good.

Speaker 2 They're comfort foods, snacks and all that. It's the worst thing you can put in your body.

Speaker 2 And I have learned, it's kind of weird, but The older I get and the more I experience this, because I'm actually a classically trained chef in French Fusion.

Speaker 2 I have a job on QVC as Chef Wonderful. I sell millions of dollars of food and wine each year there.
It's because I grew up for a few years in Nompenh, Cambodia.

Speaker 2 And that's at a place where it was a French colonized place. My dad was working in the United Nations, and the two women that were the housekeepers and the cook used to go to the market.

Speaker 2 It was on the Mekong River in Nompenh, and take me with them at four in the morning. And it's very hot there.
And so they were classically trained French chefs.

Speaker 2 So in French cooking, particularly if you're a sous chef, which is really hard to get that designation, and I'm pretty proud of what I can do in that area, is you work with a lot of heavy butter and cream.

Speaker 2 But you can't do that

Speaker 2 in an environment where it's 110 degrees at 100% humidity every day. You can't eat like that.
So

Speaker 2 what those chefs taught me was how to replace the butter and the cream with things like a mango puree or lime and lemon juice or guava crushed. I mean all kinds of

Speaker 2 different flavors.

Speaker 2 So they would take a classic dish like Prep Lambé, which is one of my specialties or escargot.

Speaker 2 And those are classic French dishes. They're very time-consuming to make, particularly escargot if it's made properly, with real shells and real snails.

Speaker 2 But you don't have to put all that butter in it. You can have

Speaker 2 you know, a different flavor set based on using a fusion of citrus. Anyways, the whole idea of eating better for me is part of my DNA and growing up.
So now I look at what I eat every day.

Speaker 2 I used to, when I was young, I'd eat three steaks a week. I used to love that.
I don't think I've had a piece of red meat in months.

Speaker 2 I eat fish, I eat fruit and vegetables, and it really helps you feel better. So if you're asking me what's different, but I'm proud to see that many people are exploring plant-based and

Speaker 2 regardless of their financial income, meat is actually very expensive and very inefficient. And there's ways to get protein.
You don't have to become a vegan.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying you have to choose to focus on the things that are better for you regardless of your income.

Speaker 2 And you will get more energy. You'll feel better.

Speaker 2 That kind of thing. That's a difference as well.

Speaker 1 That's powerful. I love that.
I'm curious, do you think the middle class is financially stuck?

Speaker 1 And if so, what can they do to start achieving more financial freedom?

Speaker 2 You can create a new opportunity for yourself online with virtually no barrier to entry.

Speaker 2 Many, many people did it as a side hustle and it's now producing more income than their first job.

Speaker 2 The whole idea of trying to solve for customer acquisition using creativity, using video, using music, using photography, using storytelling, animatics, graphics, to actually sell a service or product starting locally and then expanding.

Speaker 2 There's millions of new businesses that have been started during the pandemic. We see them every day on Shark Tank, but they are basically taking middle-class people out of middle class.

Speaker 2 And I'd say if you look at Shark Tank, we have plenty of people that have been working in the middle class for years and all of a sudden exploded to the upside with a great service or idea that they did online.

Speaker 2 And that's why I really think people should empower themselves. You can try things online.
You can see what works. You don't have to get the first one right.

Speaker 2 But those tools are there for you.

Speaker 2 And most of this is done on Facebook in geo-locked advertising. 80 cents on the dollar of what my company spend is on Facebook.
So I always find it very funny to see people

Speaker 2 bashing Facebook, saying how evil it is when really it's running small business in America because they have that unique geo-locking advertising feature. So

Speaker 2 we shouldn't shut it down until we find something better.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And what would you say are...

Speaker 1 a couple of qualities that you really look for when you're when you're looking to invest in someone or when someone has an idea and you see whether you invest in them or not you're like this person's going to be successful whether it's in this thing or something else what are those two or three qualities that all of them seem to have in your mind whether it be a leadership skill or

Speaker 2 clarity what would that be i i prefer to invest in entrepreneurs that have failed once or twice before that have felt the sting of failure and have you know gone down the road and and not had success the first time because their motivations are completely different than a more arrogant first-timer that thinks everything they do is going to make $100 million.

Speaker 2 It just doesn't work that way.

Speaker 2 And so that's one thing. I love, there's three things you have to have the ability to do and know if you're going to be successful in business.

Speaker 2 Number one is you have to be able to articulate your idea 90 seconds or less, explaining to me why anybody would want that product or service. And if you take more than a minute and a half,

Speaker 2 you're never going to be successful. You're just not.
And number two is you have to be able to explain why you're the right person to execute on that idea.

Speaker 2 In other words, what is it about you that knows how to take this idea, which good ideas are dime, a dozen? Executional skills are really hard to find.

Speaker 2 So what is it about you that can execute on this business and make it work?

Speaker 2 I mean, those two together start to be really interesting because then as an investor looks at it and says, well, I'm going to mitigate my risk. I've got a great executional.

Speaker 2 you know, expert here, and I've got a great idea.

Speaker 2 And then lastly, the one that I think you have to have a good command of, you have to know your numbers you have to be able to explain gross margins market share break-even analysis how many competitors how fast can you grow and and I think you know that's who I want to invest in someone who has a command of all three of those that's probably got more than a 50% chance of being successful if they can do that right yeah

Speaker 1 I love your take on things.

Speaker 1 I wanted to know for those that are in their late teens, early 20s,

Speaker 1 what conversations should they be having with friends or mentors around money?

Speaker 1 I feel like a lot of people are afraid to talk about it, or they don't share how much they make, or how much a home costs, or whatever. It's just like this hush-hush mentality.

Speaker 1 What should we be talking about in our late teens, early 20s, or 30s?

Speaker 1 But what types of conversations should we be having to shift the narrative around money so we can start attracting it in our favor as opposed to rejecting it?

Speaker 2 Well, first of all, we need to teach it in high school. Luckily, here in Florida, it's been put into the curriculum, and I'm very proud of that.

Speaker 2 You know, I used to be in the educational software business. There's 110,000 school buildings in America, the majority of them in New York and Florida, Texas, and California.

Speaker 2 And abysmally, most of them don't teach even debt. They don't even teach how to use a credit card, which is ridiculous.
We've got to change that. And luckily, we are.

Speaker 2 We're starting to see it creep into the curriculums in all the major states, which is good.

Speaker 2 But I think parents have a responsibility to talk about money, which is always sitting at the table every day. It always is.

Speaker 2 And, you know, getting their kids to understand how a credit card works is very important. And again, I talked about not entitling.
That's important too. But

Speaker 2 within your friends, I mean, don't be embarrassed to talk about money. You're going to be talking about money for the rest of your life.
It's always going to be part. You can't live without it.

Speaker 2 You have to deal with it. It can cause great joy and give you personal freedom, or it can be...
catastrophic in your life, destroy your happiness completely. Your choice is where does it fit?

Speaker 2 Do you want it to destroy your life or would you prefer that you understand how it works and respect it for what it is and deal with it? That's a personal choice people have to make.

Speaker 2 And I would say the best way to do that is learn more, talk more about it, and don't be afraid to discuss it.

Speaker 2 I don't care what age you're at, but certainly at the age of 16, you should be discussing that.

Speaker 2 And above all, taking 10% of whatever anybody gives you, your grandmother, your birthday gift, whatever it is, and set it aside and start investing it.

Speaker 2 The earlier you start, the less pressure you have when you're in your 60s. Because you've got to have at least a million and a half bucks in the bank, and you can if you just save $100 a week.

Speaker 2 That's what Beanstocks is all about.

Speaker 2 That's why I got involved in Beanstocks. That's the whole idea.

Speaker 1 And do you think someone in their late 40s and 50s, do you think it's too late for them to start learning about financial literacy if they've struggled in their 20s and 30s and 40s?

Speaker 1 Do you think it's too late to start investing and saving?

Speaker 1 What should people do in their 40s and early 50s?

Speaker 2 No, they should should at any age. I mean the truth is

Speaker 2 changing your spending behavior in your 40s is difficult but you can do it. And at that age you should start saving 20 to 25 percent of what you're taking in, which sounds hard to do, but it isn't.

Speaker 2 You just stop buying those $5 coffees and you stop buying stuff you don't use. Anybody can go look in their closet and see all the crap they bought that they never used.

Speaker 2 And basically you killed that money. when you did that.

Speaker 2 You bought something that you could have had invested and it could have grown 6% to 8% a year for you, but instead you bought some piece of junk that you're throwing out now.

Speaker 2 Everybody's guilty of that. I actually think my mother was right.
She's always said that people can save 20%.

Speaker 2 They just don't have the backbone to do it. And she did.
And she died a very wealthy woman. She had a secret account she kept from both of her husbands.

Speaker 2 And I was the older brother and the executor for the state. And I remember the lawyers calling me up saying, you got to come down here.
Your mother, your mother had a lot of money.

Speaker 2 And I always wondered how she did it. She basically bought dividend-paying stocks in her 20s and a whole bunch of telco bonds, 50-50 portfolio.
She loved telco bonds.

Speaker 2 They used to yield 6% in those days. And she loved dividend-paying stocks, S ⁇ P stocks.
And over the 50 years that she had this account, it just provided massive appreciation.

Speaker 1 Should people die wealthy or should they die broke because they spent their wealth on charity or giving back or whatever, living their life and going on trips and adventures.

Speaker 1 What's your philosophy there?

Speaker 2 You know, the trouble these days is you don't know when you're going to die. You make certain assumptions, and then you live an extra 10 years or 20 years.

Speaker 2 And you live at a time in your life when you really needed that money for your comfort.

Speaker 2 You know, it's probably better to not make an assumption: oh, I think I'm going to die when I'm 88, because you don't know what technology is going to provide or what your genes really have in store for you.

Speaker 2 I would prefer to die with a good chunk of dough in the bank and then gift it to a cat.

Speaker 1 A cat? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 2 cats only last 14 years.

Speaker 1 We break 14 years for them.

Speaker 2 I'm just kidding.

Speaker 2 I probably give it to a combination of,

Speaker 2 you know, in my case, I feel safe because I can roll it into a trust that doesn't provide for you after

Speaker 2 you finish college. So I don't feel I'm entitling anybody or cursing anybody's future.
So I'll just probably roll it into one of my family trusts and say I don't need it anymore.

Speaker 2 The only thing I'm taking with me to the afterlife is my watch collection, all of them.

Speaker 1 I'm going to eternity.

Speaker 2 I got a lot. I don't even say anymore how many I've got.

Speaker 2 I haven't, you know, really, I'm very proud of my watch collection, and it's incredibly, it's got some amazing pieces in it.

Speaker 2 It's taken me years to build this collection, and I'm going to need it to tell time in eternity, so I'm taking it all with me.

Speaker 1 What do you think is the best investment you've ever made in yourself?

Speaker 2 Well, the best investment I ever made in myself was myself.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 you often doubt yourself, but

Speaker 2 it was, you know, I went through some very tough times, right from when my mother cut me off through several business ventures I failed in, and then you just don't know, serendipity knocks on the door.

Speaker 2 The thing is, as an entrepreneur, you just got to keep getting up every day. You have to stay in the game.
You have to stay in the race. It's very, very hard.

Speaker 2 It's like that story of the guy with his fiancée. You know, you just have to focus, and you have to find somebody that's willing to focus with you.
But I'm glad I did what I did.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't change a thing. I've made plenty of mistakes,

Speaker 2 but it is who I am today, and I'm very proud to be able to offer the things I do to my family

Speaker 2 and to support different initiatives and charities and support the arts and collect watches and guitars and cook and all these things are made.

Speaker 2 available because I've been able to focus on being successful in business.

Speaker 2 And that is the great American dream it's going to remain that way forever it's the essence of why Shark Tank works it it's I'm very proud to be part of the platform I can guarantee you 13 years ago when we started this thing we had no idea what was going to happen I mean it's just

Speaker 2 who knew but now nine year old girls to 99 year old men come up to me saying look let's talk about that deal last week on Shark Tank and I'm happy to do it.

Speaker 2 I mean, I think it's great and we're proud to do it. And I don't know, that's the whole idea that I encourage people.
Don't pursue entrepreneurship out of greed of money. You will fail for sure.

Speaker 2 Because every time I talk to anybody that's had a big liquidity event, I say, you know, did you see it coming? And

Speaker 2 how did it happen? They said, we never saw it coming. We were just working one day and then, boom, I was poor.
Now I'm rich.

Speaker 2 That's always the way it is. It's not that you're saying you're counting

Speaker 2 your dollars. You don't have any until one day, boom, something happens.
And then the funny thing is, you find yourself right back to work.

Speaker 1 I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy.

Speaker 1 And if you are looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you want to make it easier, you want to make it flow, you want to feel abundant, then make sure to go to makemoneyeasybook.com right now and get yourself a copy.

Speaker 1 I really think this is going to help you transform your your relationship with money this moment moving forward. We have some big guests and content coming up.

Speaker 1 Make sure you're following and stay tuned to the next episode on the school of greatness.

Speaker 1 I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness.

Speaker 1 Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links.

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Speaker 1 Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review.

Speaker 1 I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward.

Speaker 1 And I want to remind you: if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something

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Speaker 3 Hey, it's Parker Posey. How did I get here? I love improvisation when it comes to acting, but when it comes to a real-life plan, I stick to a script.
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