452 - Wet Hot American Epstein

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan Show.

How are we doing out there?

Summer is in full

swing.

Summer, this is it.

It's going to be quick and then it's over.

So enjoy it.

Take some time.

Take some time.

Bring the family to the lake.

Bring them to the beach.

You know, no one goes anywhere anymore.

It's a country of very creepy weirdos.

Have you noticed that?

That the country is just filled with anti-social freaks who just aren't anywhere anymore.

Like you go to these places where like

it's supposed to be like over, you're supposed to be overwhelmed with crowds.

And it's like,

it's not whatever everyone says it.

Everyone's like, it's going to be wall-to-wall people and you won't be.

And then these, like, I went down to this place on Long Island, Long beach

a few days before the fourth of july me and my buddies we grew up in that area and it wasn't packed the bars had like 20 people in them young people aren't out there at bars like that anymore it used to be like lifeguard night ladies night people were having fun and partying but like

no one's where are they like what these people aren't there

anymore

and I don't know where they are.

So if you get a chance to try to foster some type of positive social environment for yourself and your family, I guess do it.

I mean, I don't, people just

people don't do anything anymore.

I don't know what they're doing.

I don't know what people are doing, but they're not, you know, there was a time when people would be out and social and these people would be sitting outside of their house, eight or ten of them in folding chairs, drinking and talking and joking around and smoking cigs.

None of that happens anymore.

It's an abandoned country.

It's like a country that's been closed.

And people say, oh, you're exaggerating.

Like, there's a few areas that are packed with people.

The Jersey Shore, out east on Long Island, whatever.

But then you go to these places that

they're supposed to have like a summer culture.

These little fishing villages and towns and,

you know, and it's just nothing

there's nobody out boozing it

smacking someone in the ass

smoking a butt

what happened to people they're all creepy weirdos

everyone's like a weirdo now like a person that doesn't know have you ever tried to invite people to your home they don't even know

how to act or what to do if they even come.

for example my i have a uh you know i have a house out east and i'm fortunate and i invite people to it and they don't know they don't understand anything

like they're asking questions about everything it's like you know you're here to have fun we're here to have fun you're not here to like investigate

like thing like I have a house slave, a white woman who's my slave, a house slave.

And they talk to her like she's a person.

And they ask her about like her hopes and dreams.

If you're invited to someone's house, don't speak to the help.

Don't start cleaning.

The maid wants to clean.

She's getting paid either way.

She has a system and she does it.

And the job of the house slave, white woman, don't come at me.

The job of the house slave is to deal with the maid.

And if the maid says she's cleaned something, the house slave makes the maid photo it and send it to the slave.

The slave,

but it's true.

Today,

the slave was not there

and the maid comes and my godson had to his him and his horrible family

came and brought slime to my house, which is like this crap.

And there's like sprinkles that go on it.

And they just, I don't know what it is.

Why are kids playing with this?

We had GAC, Nickelodeon's GAC.

Remember that?

The network that raped everyone?

Well,

the slave called me and said, there's sprinkles all over the yard.

She thought I just, I had like a fat off with people and we just started throwing sprinkles at each other.

But I said, that's my God.

It sounded like I was lying.

I go, that's my god, son.

He had slime and it has this crap, these sprinkles you smush into it or whatever.

And he got it all over the table.

So the house slave said, I'm going to have the maid clean the table.

But the house slave knows you can't trust the maids because some are great great and some aren't.

This is the whole thing.

Some are here for a better life, you know, and some are selling fentanyl and not doing well.

So the slave, the maid runs out and takes a photo of the table that she just scrubbed and sends it to the slave.

And then the slave will tell me, I have a photo of the clean table.

That's the system.

Do you understand?

That's the summer system.

When you're a guest in a house, you do not engage the maid or the slave.

And you don't talk to me

about anything going on.

I don't know when the garbage person comes.

That's the slave.

I don't know.

The maid is handling the dryer.

The maid reports to the slave who reports to me.

I pay all of the bills.

Now, in New Hampshire's where people have much more money than I do, they have multiple slaves and maids and hierarchies and different constellations of power.

But you don't ask dumb questions.

You don't go, where are you spending most of your time?

Poor question.

No one knows.

No one knows where anyone is.

And then shut up.

Shut up.

You think I would ever say that to anyone?

You don't ask that of someone.

Where do you spend most of your time?

I just always say something something ridiculous.

I go, Rome,

the Vatican, mostly.

That's where I'm mostly, but I'm here.

Also, you got to understand: this is for the summer.

These homes are for the summer.

They're not used any other time in the year.

So, this is people go, I bet it's beautiful out here, you know, once it gets a little colder.

I go, Yeah, but I don't really come back.

Really?

What do you do?

I work.

We're working.

We're working, you slob.

We're working.

Don't engage.

And yes, of course it's beautiful in the fall.

And I'll go there when I can, but I'm working.

Don't ask the house slave her dreams

and what she wants to do with her life.

The last thing you want

is a house slave with a postmodern self-awareness

who's who's depressed in the kitchen?

This is what you say.

You go,

is there water?

That's all I've ever said when I'm at someone's home.

Hi, is there water?

Thank you.

Not who are you?

How are you?

How did you meet it?

Stop it.

Stop it.

People don't know how anymore to just be.

People don't get it.

Somebody I was was with was like, all these people in the Hamptons, they don't even use their houses.

They're burning money.

They're fine.

They're not burning money.

It's like

everyone tries to create this world in which they've won.

When I was a tour guide, people used to get on the tour buses and go, they spend all this money to live in New York City, but they don't even have central air conditioning.

They have wall unit air conditioners.

And I go, yeah, but again,

again,

this is a historic building.

They can't alter it.

So they have wall unit air conditioners, but they have a 30,000 square foot home in Palm Beach that's air conditioned.

They have a chalet in Aspen.

They have a home in Greenwich, Connecticut.

And it's like,

you didn't figure it out.

It's, you, you, you got to understand the way it is.

It doesn't mean the way it is is right, but the way it is is is the way it is.

You didn't figure something out,

like you're on, like

you walk into the royal palace and you're like,

all these guards, you don't have any privacy.

What?

So I'm just saying, like

it's strange.

People have forgotten how to be social.

And the way to be social is to kind of be reserved and keep some of your thoughts in

and just not

try to not try to like

always push

and

try to like make it so like the person who has the...

I wouldn't even want a house that big.

There's so many rooms.

What would you even do with it?

We'll pass these homes and they are gargantuan and ridiculous, but shut up.

That's like, what is that?

What is that?

I wouldn't even want that.

So big.

So stupid.

They're so stupid.

I'm so smart.

I'm so smart in my little house.

I'm so smart.

They're so stupid in their house.

They're stupid.

I'm smart.

No, you're not.

No, you're not.

And by the way, these aren't people that I'm with that are saying, I bet those people are spiritually broken and empty, and yet I'm fulfilled.

They're not saying that because that's not what they're not, there's a ton of critiques you can make towards the excesses of capitalism or abundance, tons of them that come from a spiritual place.

The people I'm talking about or are amoral, okay?

So they're not looking at it from that perspective.

They're trying to figure out some way that they've actually made the right,

they would do all the thing.

It is not for lack of morals that they don't have that house.

There is not anyone that I grew up with that is too, that didn't succeed because they're too good of a person.

That's not the case.

There's not one friend I have that would have been knee deep in money, but was just a moral man.

That's not one person I know.

Everyone I know is scum and they couldn't figure more things out because they kept putting powder in their nose

instead of figuring out anything else except how to take a key and shove it up their nose.

And there's nothing wrong with that.

I'm just saying.

What's going on with the Epstein and these Jews?

What is happening here?

I mean, I don't, everyone's,

what's going on?

Everyone keeps saying this is Mossad Op

and we're covering it up to protect Israel.

This is what everyone keeps saying.

Not in the Hamptons.

No one's saying that in the Hamptons.

Here's what they're saying in the Hamptons about this whole thing.

And it's actually very interesting.

And I want you to listen closely.

This is exactly what they're saying in the Hamptons about this entire thing.

So that's the opinion in the Hamptons.

That's the prevailing opinion out there.

People are saying it's Mossad and CIA, and that

they're shutting it down, or the people in the White House are implicated.

I'm taking another path.

I'm going, whatever.

It's time to live in the, it's just like what I just gave the people advice to, like the people, it's late at night, but the people that I just gave advice to about the house slave and everything in the way that you,

you know, the composure that you should have in someone's home.

I'm giving advice to people now that live in this country.

Choose the pedophile you agree with.

Choose the pedophile whose values are yours.

Who is the pedophile who has a pro-business attitude?

Is there a pedophile who cares about the climate?

Who wants better schools?

Probably all of them.

What pedophile has the viewpoint that you align with?

What pedophile believes in infrastructure?

Who is the pedophile that's going to keep us out of costly foreign wars?

Who is the pedophile who's going to make sure your children have a shot at the American dream?

You cannot ask that they don't fuck kids.

You cannot ask that.

It's a bridge too far.

Stop being greedy.

Who is the pedophile that when they speak, you go,

man.

I relate to that guy, not on everything, not on everything, not on everything, not on the having sex with kids, which I'm sure he does because all of them do.

But God, do I relate to the point he made about tech or whatever?

I don't know, but that's the thing now.

You just have to go with the pedophile who makes the most sense to you personally.

And you're going to argue, you're going to argue with your wife about it.

It's not going to be easy.

John, he's a pedophile.

Honey, listen.

Our taxes have been going up year after year.

It's hard to pay the rent.

Don't you want to own a fucking house?

Johnny has sex with children.

Honey, listen to me.

I don't agree with everything this man does.

John, this isn't about policy.

He's a pedophile.

Honey,

I understand your concerns.

But I work all goddamn week and I can't get ahead.

And they're all pedophiles.

I want this pedophile.

He's going to be good for us, honey.

He understands that a man like me needs to get his beak wet with money.

Not with children, with money.

I want the beak wet with money.

You'll have to clarify that.

Me and this guy, we get it.

Not everything.

We don't get it all.

Some of it, I don't understand what he's doing, but I know, honey, he has sex with children on an island or, I don't know, is somewhere and he throws them into a furnace afterwards.

And I don't agree with any of that.

But that tax cut could be the down payment on our first home.

Don't you want a home so that our kids can play in the yard?

That pedophile is going to do that for us.

We need a pedophile who's on our side.

When do we get a pedophile who's on our side in this country, honey?

A pedophile who's not going to get us into wars.

What about a pedophile for peace?

A pedophile for peace.

When the Mossad emails him those tapes, he goes, so what, boys?

So what?

You got me fucking a bunch of kids on an island.

But guess what?

This war is not in our interests.

Honey, it took a lot for that man.

And then the women will start to get it too.

They'll be like, I got to be honest with you.

I really didn't like, and they'll say this at town halls.

They'll be like.

I just want to say that I really judged you just because you are a pedophile.

But when those videos came out of you having having sex with those children and then murdering them and then you still didn't send us my son into war you you kept your pledge and promise for peace I said you know what you might be a pedophile but you've saved a lot of lives and everyone's gonna clap and they're gonna go that's a pedophile for peace finally

This is gonna be the new campaign ads.

You can't blackmail me.

I'm a pedophile for peace.

Sure, a couple of videos came out of me having sex with a mask on in a barn with a couple of younger women of questionable age.

But I didn't shrink when I was blackmailed by the Mosad.

I didn't shrink.

I didn't send our brave men and women into war.

I sat there and let them release video after video of me violently assaulting children.

While I said to myself, I'm not going to put my country in harm's way.

I won't do it.

I'm making investments in the future of this country.

Sure, I'm a pedophile, but I'm a pedophile for peace.

These war-torn pedophiles want to sacrifice your children.

I just want to have sex with them.

I'm a pedophile for peace.

It's coming.

It's coming.

It's coming.

Are my predictions ever wrong?

Lizzo's kind of thinner now.

But seriously, it does seem like a cover-up.

It does seem a little bit like a cover-up from the outside.

I love to be one of those guys who's like, I'm really well sourced.

I get a lot of information from the inside.

Nobody's got more sources than me.

All right.

Are you ready?

It's a cover-up.

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There are no secrets anymore.

Here's the thing: in America:

there are no more secrets.

We all know everything,

there's nothing to know.

That's what's really disturbing.

You know who's on the list.

You could write the list.

Go to the Forbes list.

Go to that list.

It's a lot of that list.

Go to like

the list of all the big donors of the two political parties.

Go to a list of everyone who's been in a position of like power that's ran a country.

Like, we all know what it is.

There's no inside story here.

There's no palace intrigue.

There's no like, this isn't JFK where you're like, how exactly did it happen?

Who pulled the, how did, why did,

we know exactly what this is, the most obvious, it's obvious to everyone.

There's no one who doesn't know what this is.

Not one person who thinks who doesn't know what it is.

It's a

honey.

What is it?

Honey trap or a honey pot?

What do they call this?

Honey pot.

Honey pot.

Honey trap.

It's a honey pot.

The children are the honey.

The pot

is the island or the,

you know,

mansion in New York City.

They got the cameras.

They got the recording devices.

They got a control file on you.

What have you been up to?

And

that's it.

Well, why can't it come out?

Well, what of what?

What do you mean, why?

What are you talking about?

Why?

Should it come out?

Yes.

Should people go, should there be justice for the victim?

Yes.

Of course.

Should you be mad it's not coming out?

Yes.

But why isn't it coming out?

Don't ask that.

It's a complete wrong question to ask.

The only question is,

what would it take for it to come out?

Or

those are questions that are worth asking.

How

is there a legal way to force it out?

Spoiler alert, there's not.

You know, but the why isn't it out?

Is like, that's the craziest question.

That's the craziest thing ever.

That's like someone in a McDonald's drive through being like, why am I dropping foul?

Why am I gaining weight?

Wait, why are the most powerful people in the world not putting out that they fuck kids?

Huh.

You know, there's these people that like are kind of smart will like call me and they're like, why do you think that?

And I go, what?

That's not even a question.

That's not a question.

That's not the question.

Obviously, obviously, why isn't it out?

It's obvious to everyone why it's not out because the most powerful people

I think we say that, but we and we forget that that's like true.

Because social media makes you think

that we're all like we're talking to presidents and vice presidents and we're like, you know, we're, we're, we go viral talking shit and the me, you know, we're on the media like I Tucker and whoever and I get to talk to people and like, you know, like, I think people are like, whoa, like, wow, you're really like fucking serving fucking takes.

Yeah, who cares?

Yeah, no one cares.

This is the whole narrative of like, these podcasters swayed the elect.

No, no, no, no.

I don't think so.

So, a lot of Joe Rogan listeners were really enthused about Kamala Harris before Trump came on.

Tons of them?

No, here's what it was.

It was,

it's a,

the idea that social media

is this

revolutionary thing, is true to a degree, to an extent.

There is truth to that.

Even my little friend,

you know, on CNN, that girl

who was a sweet woman, who looked like she lived under a bridge, that woman had some points.

She didn't articulate any of them well.

But the point was like, whoa, her whole point boiled down to like, things are a little different around these parts.

That is true.

That is true.

But

when we say the most powerful people in the world, we're not talking about like

the rock.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, and maybe the rock someone.

I'm not saying he is.

I'm kidding.

I don't know.

I'm not.

When I say the most powerful people in the world, I'm talking about genuinely,

genuinely

the most powerful people, rulers of countries,

heads of state,

billionaire industrialists,

kings, princes, prime ministers, presidents, not podcasters, not comedians, not influencers,

not fucking tucker, not, I mean, genuinely

the most powerful people that run companies that suck oil out of the ground, that put minerals,

that take rare earth minerals and put them in your phone, people that order troops into battle, people that start wars, people that assassinate political leaders, people that foment coups, the most powerful people in the world.

And I know we're all yelling at them this week.

We're all giving it to them.

Hey, maybe Dan Bongino will resign.

What do you think about that?

They don't care.

They don't know who it is.

They don't know who he is.

That's the most powerful people in the world.

Now, I think a lot of people get it twisted because they're on their phone all day and they're like,

and they get the idea that like the most powerful person in the world is like Theo Vaughn or Andrew Schultz or Mira.

And I obviously don't think we're the most powerful people in the world, but people think we have a lot more influence than we do.

We do not.

We don't.

We don't.

We don't.

The media.

Whatever you want to call this sphere, this space,

whether you work at the Times or whether you're on a podcast, it doesn't matter.

You can yell as loudly as you want.

And then you go, well, what about the politicians?

Well, they're all fucking compromised.

Let's pretend there's a handful of them that aren't, and there probably are.

They have no power.

They're not the most powerful people in the world.

And the president of the United States, he's the most powerful man in the world.

No, he's not.

No, he is not.

No, he ain't.

And if the last six months haven't showed you that, I don't know what will.

He's not.

It feels nice to say our president is the most powerful person in the world.

It feels good.

He's the most powerful person in the world.

But really, the reality of the situation is he's not.

He's not.

And he can't wave a wand.

And I'm not exempting Trump from blame.

I don't think he's on.

I don't think young chicks are his thing.

And even his enemies tell you that.

They're just not his thing.

You know?

I don't know what else he's fucked around with, but it's not young chicks i don't think it's sex i think it whatever it is he's he's getting pressure from a lot of people and he's succumbing to it you know

he's not a brave he's not a revolutionary what he owned casinos

hi's

the most powerful people in the world are still at this point the most powerful people in the world you can yell and scream and screech and tweet you can you can stomp and kick your feet

you can't i wish i had i wish i could just go on a willy walk it's just too late i don't have it but you can scream and yell

but what the reality is the most powerful people in the world they killed all these people john luke brunell epstein's best friend modeling guy hung himself epstein hung himself or what virginia juffre she's killed get up tina brown go to drudge Tina Brown, or Tina Brown also wrote this.

I think it's on the free

press.

Tina Brown.

Yeah, she wrote a thing.

Now go down here.

Tina Brown actually talks about this weird encounter she had with Epstein.

Make this bigger.

So she did, she ran this thing.

She was the editor of Vanity Fair.

She ran

this thing.

And I'm going to read this because

I'm going to read this in full because it's actually worth reading.

It's actually good.

Dimly remembering an item about the arrest of a New York high roller named Epstein, who was once asked for a date, Saranoff, and this is someone she's talking about, who's, I think, another writer, dug through the Palm Beach police files and was stunned to learn that the department had identified as many as three dozen underage girls who had been trafficked for sex by Jeffrey Epstein, the youngest imported from the Balkans at age 14.

By the way, let's just stop there for a minute.

These people are evil.

It's not, oh, I thought she was 18.

These people are evil.

They're human traffickers.

They're not like, he's not a gadfly.

The people that are implicated in this are implicated in evil.

It's not a party that we got out of hand.

It's someone didn't grab a tit.

It's not fucking even Andrew Cuomo, that fucking retard lasagna brain who grabbed some tits at the Christmas party.

These people are.

He was in the half this.

He was at 75 Main that restaurant I left run by those gypsies and that gypsy.

But anyway, who cares?

Fuck them.

But that pie is good, that mini pie.

Cuomo was eating there, like sadly, like depressed, just eating in the hamped.

And then Eric Adams is out there too.

They're trying to suck up that money to run against Bin Laden.

But,

and

so these people are eating, like, the more you read about the Epsom stuff or learn about the Epsom stuff, it isn't like there's, there's this weird idea, and it's just the power of narrative.

And the power of narrative is like,

she was a stripper.

Some girls at a 17 look like they're 30.

That's not what this was.

They're importing women from other countries and our country.

They're as young as 14, and they're probably younger.

They're raping them.

They're destroying their lives and they're killing some of them.

Some of these women are disappearing, and we're going to read about that in a minute.

But just understand what this is.

This isn't like a whoopsie.

This isn't like, I can't believe you look so much older.

You were so mature.

And not that that wouldn't be scummy, but that's not even this.

So understand what this is.

This is full evil.

I'm an evil person.

I'm going to defile youth and ruin lives.

And in the process of doing that, I'm going to

manipulate an entire political system

based on people's appetites for this type of

like, you know, incredibly evil behavior.

And I'm going to provide young women to these serial abusers who have a lot of power.

And those women are going to be beaten, raped, assaulted, abused, and yes, some of them killed.

And they're going to disappear.

And we're going to cover all of this up.

And we're going to keep files on everybody.

And we're going to launder money for them and run drugs and run arms illegal arms

and we're going to do all of this and there's going to be a we're going to work within the um

underground economy the parallel financial system that exists and we're going to launder large sums of money which is another epstein skill that people like whitney webb talk about we had her on the show many years ago

writes very detailed about this whole books about it

and that's what he's doing.

But I just wanted to stop on this.

We're going to keep going because this is interesting, but just stop and know what this is.

And that's why people should be angry.

I'm not saying diminish your anger.

You shouldn't.

But

know what it really is.

It's not like, oh, she's how old?

Whoa, she look,

it's not this.

Dozen underage girls who have been trafficked by Epstein, the youngest, imported from the Balkans at age 14.

Do you know how young a 14-year-old is?

That's insane.

That's just, again, evil noted.

So how did this serial predator, the DOJ, report says Epstein harmed over 1,000 victims, get off with a slap on the wrist, only two counts of solicitation of a minor for prostitution.

Spurred by the suspicions of a Palm Beach society lady who lived close to Epstein, Sarnoff brought the story to me.

This is Tina Brown talking.

She's the editor of Vanity Fair.

Or, you know, at that point, at that, I'm sorry, at that time, maybe it was a Daily Beast.

And we launched a six-part Daily Beast investigation.

Yeah, she's not the editor of Vanity Fair.

She was, maybe, it doesn't matter, but this is Daily Beast.

We launched a six-part Daily Beast investigation about the rank perversion of justice enabled by Epstein's money, connections, political donation.

She revealed how Epstein's cracked team of all-star lawyers discredited the young victims, many of whom had been abused previously or came from rough backgrounds.

The younger, the better.

Epstein instructed a local teenager who was paid to bring girls to his home.

The younger, the better.

Again, this is what

they were doing.

The B stories landed with less impact than they would have seven years later in the Me Too reckoning.

Epstein was not a big name at the time.

He was a Manhattan finance and cafe society figure who I'd met several times at the opening receptions of the Clinton Global Initiative.

Aren't they always helping people, the Clintons?

We never thanked them enough.

To which he shoveled funding to burnish his philanthropic bonafides.

He struck me as a cold-eyed operator busy working the room.

As after we ran Sarnoff's piece in July 2010, Epstein called me personally to tell me that, quote, she was a well-known nut case and to cease and desist.

When I barreled ahead anyway, I had a creepy encounter with Epstein a few weeks later.

I returned from lunch

and I was startled to find him sitting in a chair in my glass-walled office in Manhattan's IAC building.

It seems he had managed to blow through the front desk security and arrive unannounced.

He was morose and menacing.

His snake eyes narrowed.

Just stop, he said heavily as I stared at him from the doorway.

There will be consequences if you don't.

I asked him to leave and suggested he talk to our lawyer.

You heard me, he said in a deadly tone, stop.

We did not stop, but there were no more legal flurries from Epstein.

It seems he had rightly computed that the story would fade if he didn't fan it.

Now keep going down

because

We're going to read a few people here who have been killed.

You can keep going,

that are related to this case, because it's not only Jeffrey Epstein.

There are other people who have,

so here, Konchita Sarnoff, who's a writer, reminded me, Tina Brown, that there have been five fatalities counting Epstein's death, all associated with the case and the sad, sordid world that's whirled around him.

Now, by the way, these are five that we know about.

Some of them were higher-profile people.

May 30th, 2017, Lee Sky Patrick, who was 16 when she was sexually abused by Epstein, was one of his first victims to file charges against him in 2008, was found dead at the age of 29 of an accidental drug overdose in a West Palm Beach motel.

August 10th, 2019, Jeffrey Epstein was discovered hanged at his cell.

February 19th, 2022, John Luke Brunel,

a close Epstein partner in Sleaze, whose modeling agency, MC2, is a major funnel of trafficked underage girls to Epstein and his circle.

apparently hanged himself with knotted bed sheets in his cell while awaiting trial at Lasandi prison in Paris for an alleged rape of a minor and sexual assault.

May 23, 2023, Carolyn Andreano, a 36-year-old mother of five, was found unresponsive on the floor of a West Palm Beach hotel room.

Andreano was abused by Epstein starting at the age of 14, servicing him at his Palm Beach mansion more than 100 times.

Her testimony was key to the conviction of Epstein procurist Ghislaine Maxwell, who is now serving a 20-year sentence in a federal prison in Tallahassee, Florida.

April 25th, 2025, Virginia Jufre, a 41-year-old mother of three, committed suicide in Australia.

Those are people

that

were

provably connected to Epstein publicly and through court filings and everything else.

Their deaths are suspicious.

You know, you kill one journalist, you silence a thousand.

That's kind of the, you know, you kill one person, you silence a thousand.

That's kind of the way people look at it when an authoritarian dictator, whatever, kills one journalist.

A thousand of them go, you know what, maybe we won't pursue that story.

And the same could be said if you get rid of of one victim with information, the rest of the victims go, hey, you heard what happened to her, right?

I would, you know, take your foot off the gas.

Let's, let's live and let live and let's move on.

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Again, I had a friend who was feeling like sluggish and started taking this.

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Like it's a secret group.

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Six months later, he's literally running a secret world group that controls all the resources.

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You don't even have to do that if you want to.

If you wanted to just feel better and go on longer walks, that's fine.

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Deeply evil,

deeply

troubling.

I think Trump knows they'll kill him.

I think Trump knows that they'll kill kill him.

I think he does.

Truly.

I believe he knows that.

I believe he knows that the people that killed all of those people would find a way to kill him if this came out.

I believe that he knows that.

I believe he believes that some faction of those people tried to kill him

already.

Don't quite know who,

but I believe that is what he believes.

I don't know that.

I don't have any information on that.

You know, like, I can't tell you.

Like, it's not like a guy, like, I call, like, someone told me that.

I don't know what else

evidence-wise you would need.

I think Trump likes living.

I don't think, I think he's got a lot of good things about him and some bad things, but I don't know that he's a selfless hero.

I don't know if you look at his life.

I mean, yes, he's done a lot.

You know, Bannon talks about the hero's journey or whatever, pumping the fist.

All that's incredibly impressive.

I don't know if he's dying for this.

I don't know if he's dying

to drop a dime on everybody.

I can't.

Now there's financial reasons.

He probably doesn't want it out.

And there's business deals and there's the future.

But you got to remember, let's go back to the very real reality of the people that fuck with this die.

They're gone.

And I don't think that's lost on Trump.

Again, this is my theory.

My show is my theories.

You You don't think they're interesting.

You don't have to listen.

And maybe you think they're entertaining, and I'm wrong.

But do you think it doesn't cross his mind that all these people have died?

Do you think that doesn't enter into his mind?

Someone's killing someone.

Someone's killing.

I mean, all these people are dying.

It seems weird.

Somebody's getting killed somehow

with this case.

And that's not lost on him.

I don't think he doubts that if he were to do something here

that would implicate

the level of people we're talking about, his life might

prematurely end.

It might not.

But it's certainly a possibility.

It's on the table.

The other thing that's on the table that the media is now running with, bless their heart, is that nothing happened.

That's actually a theory that Epstein was like a creep.

And Trump even said this creep.

A creep is a guy

that goes up to a woman at a bar and goes, how's your husband?

I'm a big fan of that guy.

That's creep.

A creep is not a guy that imports a 14-year-old from the Balkans to be raped.

in this in America by a billionaire.

That's not a creep.

That's an evil monster.

That's a big difference in definition.

So when people are writing articles like, there is no cabal, okay, blackmail operation, it was not that.

It was not, it had nothing to do with the intelligence agencies.

Now, by the way, isn't it funny?

Everything in Russia is a thing.

Everything Putin does is an Orwellian conspiracy to take over the world.

He's going to invade every country tomorrow, Poland.

He's marching into Poland.

He's going to invade every country.

He's killed killed everyone, every journalist.

I'm sure he's killed a few people.

I don't doubt it.

But every shooting, death,

every oligarch, it's all directly attributable to him.

Every oligarch who dies, and by the way, a lot of oligarchs are getting whacked, and some of them are probably on his orders, and some of them are on other people's orders because some people are in this for the love of the game.

Now, but everything's Putin and every China, and I don't doubt that China's doing nefarious shit, but it's always a vast conspiracy with China's behind it.

Dubai is funding everything.

And they're in the colleges.

Dubai brought all the trannies to do the Gaza protest.

What?

Doesn't even make sense.

I don't even have trainees over there, really.

I don't have a ton of trainees in Dubai.

Well, no, but they came and they brought all their Dubai trainees for the Gaza protest.

What?

Who?

But we're all supposed to believe that everything's manipulated by somebody.

Russia installed Trump.

He's the Russian president.

So everything.

And then they all come on my show, Chris Como, all of them.

They go, what are you guys so excited these conspiracies are obsessed about?

What?

You just told me Dubai runs the colleges.

Russia installed the president.

And you told me that Emmanuel Macron's wife is a woman.

These are all lies.

Kidding, that's fun.

Candace will play that.

It's called cross-marketing, actually.

But

this isn't.

Hold on.

Hold on a minute.

Hold on a minute.

Russia installed the president.

Dubai shipped the trannies to Columbia University to beat the drums for Gaza.

But the guy with the island and the mansion

without any money, whose friends were billionaires and was at the highest levels of society, who got off on it, like technicality, essentially, got a sweetheart slap on the wrist deal, who Alexander Acosta said, I was told to back off the case because he, quote, belonged to intelligence, who had cameras in his bathroom, in his mansion in New York, the largest private residence in Manhattan.

He could not afford.

He had a private island, a ranch in New Mexico.

Many, many, many women testified that they were ordered to perform sex acts on VIP clients while cameras were rolling.

The Attorney General of America, Pam Bondi, told us there were 10,000 hours of child pornography.

Think about that.

And the guy,

when he's going to stand trial, when he's in on suicide watch in the most heavily surveilled prison block in America, hangs himself

because the guards fell asleep and the cameras didn't work.

That's not a conspiracy.

That's the only one that's not.

Dubai shipped the trannies to Colombia.

Russia installed the president.

but nobody, there's no fuckery with this.

This was just a rich guy with a couple of wacky friends in an island.

And

it was a comedy of errors.

They all just kept falling in 12-year-old pussy, and then they hung themselves by accident.

But everything else is a conspiracy in our society.

Everything else.

It seems odd.

It seems like the one that implicates our people is just a bunch of

limity stick at a series of unfortunate events.

Isn't it odd to anyone that there's people writing op-eds and these are like smart people and they go, well, there's conspiracy, you know, that's the whole thing.

Everyone loves conspiracies because they're, and actually, this guy, he's, yes, there's bad people out there.

Bad people do bad things.

That's the intellectual response to this.

Some people are rich and they're bad.

Yeah, prosecute

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Get up this free press article by this guy.

I didn't want to do this, but I have to do it.

I try to like Barry Weiss.

I try to, she told us recently the Soviet Union was responsible for anti-Semitism.

Barry!

I mean, really?

They go, where's all this?

Jillian Michaels, the fitness trainer, is interviewing Barry West, Barry, who will not come on the show.

She goes, why is everyone so mad at Israel?

She goes, well, it's the Soviet Union's actually been doing all the...

Soviet Union's doing it.

Well, glad we cleared that up.

She's like, it's actually the

Magna Carta, actually.

It's very anti-Semitic.

The free press.

So this guy,

Sadnovic, Sadonovic, he wrote this article, the free press.

So the free press ran these two articles, one of them to their credit by Tina Brown, the article we just read where she goes, yeah, there is something going on.

And Tina Brown was like, these MAGA loonies do have something going on.

But then this other dude,

yeah,

the Epstein

conspiracy theorists will never be satisfied.

By the way, you haven't even tried to satisfy us.

You haven't even tried.

There's been no attempt.

There's not even a half-hearted attempt to satisfy us.

Make it bigger.

I'm going to have to read this, folks.

You're going to have to bear with me because it's completely insane.

The MAGA revolution, haunted by the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein, is eating its own.

No one should be surprised.

It started in the summer of 2020.

That was when Donald Trump did something American presidents usually don't do, public question his attorney general, and in particular, his finding that the sex trafficker had committed suicide at the Metropolitan Correction Center in lower Manhattan.

The president suggested, without offering evidence, that the truth was murkier and more sinister, was it suicide?

Trump, then facing a tough reelection battle, mused in an interview, was he killed?

Trump's remarks were couched in an off-the-cuff comment about Epstein's partner in crime, just Lane Maxwell, who had been charged with helping Epstein procure underage girls and he was convicted in 2021 and is now serving a 20-year sentence in federal prison in Tallahassee, Florida.

Quote, her boyfriend died in jail and people are still trying to figure out how it happened, the president said of Maxwell.

Since then, an entire cottage industry, mostly on the MAGA right, untrue, by the way, that's not true, has emerged from the confusion and it has been obsessed over the truth.

What really happened to Epstein?

Did he really kill himself?

Or was his suicide staged by powerful people afraid he might steal their secrets?

The conventional wisdom, so long as Joe Biden was present, that we'd never know, but then Trump was elected a second time and the conspiracy theorists were elated.

Finally, he would find out who was on Epstein's client list.

All the puppets and puppet masters would be revealed.

The great interconnected webs of deceit would be cracked wide open.

When in February the Justice Department declassified its first trove of Epstein files, it seemed like we were finally getting somewhere, although right-wing influencers were disappointed by the lack of new information.

Fast forward to this week.

On Tuesday, the president sounded like the deep state he had run against in 2016 and 2020.

That is true.

He had come to the official ruling, which found that Epstein was not murdered, that the public had not been lied to about his death, that there was no global conspiracy connecting Bill Clinton and Bill Gates and the Mossad Israel spy agency.

You still talking about Jeffrey Epstein?

The president said after he was asked by a reporter at a recent Justice Department announcement that FBI agents had concluded there was no top-secret Epstein client list, no list of ultra-powerful people who had been blackmailed by Epstein, who was assumed in woke right circles to be working for naturally Israel.

Now, by the way, let's clear this up right now.

This idea that Jeffrey Epstein was somehow connected to Israel is not because his last name is Epstein, or it's not because, like, rabid anti-Semitism, or it's not because

I think the Jews control the weather, or they're responsible for all the things that go on in the world that are not good.

Okay, I've simply requested that Israel stop the burning of the cans.

Now,

the reason that we think he worked for

Israel, perhaps, potentially, is because his best friend Ghislaine Maxwell's father

provably was an Israeli intelligence asset.

Provably.

So Epstein's best friend,

like if I was doing a lot of mafia shit and my best friend's dad was a big mafia guy, like if I was doing mafia shit, like extorting people and whacking people or whatever, eating pasta and I do that, but like all the other stuff,

I was behaving in a mafia-like way.

And people go, well, you know, his best friend's dad's like huge in the mafia.

That would just make you think, well, maybe he's like somehow in the mafia.

It's not like a rabid anti-Semitic, crazy conspiracy theory to suggest that like maybe that's.

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Trump is fond of

promulgating conspiracy theories when he's running for office and looking to stoke his base, whether it be questions about whether Obama was born or whether Biden won the 2020 election.

Suffice to say it was not sitting well with his base, or at least the most radical and vociferous, arguably influential voices inside of it.

So then he quotes a bunch of people, Loomer and Cernovich and whoever, people, Tucker, and all these people.

So go down and let's go to his surmise, okay?

He talks about how Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK alone.

He just wants to throw that in this writer.

Here we go.

Today's conspiracy theorists, by contrast, are not simply reacting to the appearance of official dishonesty, but the reality of it.

It's not that hard to understand why so many Americans following the innumerable lies they've been told about Russia Gate and police brutality and the COVID lab leak and on and on,

might conclude that Jeffrey Epstein was the linchpin at the center of a sprawling blackmail scheme.

That he didn't just kill himself, even though he had good reasons to do so.

That he was actually being silenced by the powers that be to ensure that the powers at B would never be unearthed.

And yet, two things can be true at once.

We can be lied to about some things, but not all of them.

Okay.

I mean,

alas, it's very difficult to make people believe

that the Epstein plot is not a plot because the whole Sori saga does reveal that some of the most powerful people on earth are depraved and spineless and they do sick things like sleep with 14-year-old girls.

Okay, how about arresting them?

Like his point is like this crazy point.

He's like, well, yeah, I mean, there are a lot of terrible people committing crimes and they are the most powerful people in the world.

Right.

What's more, it appears to confirm the original pedophile faux scandal, Pizzagate, or at least it appears to confirm that the nutbags who insisted Democrats were trafficking in young women were not all wrong.

And yet we should avoid conflating one immorality with others, a lack of character with a much more ambitious plot to control the money supply or wage war or whatever else it is that some of the more outlandish Epstein conspiracy theories allege.

And we should steer clear of the fallacy of composition, the mistaken belief that because one part is corrupt, the whole is corrupt.

Meaning the whole of our institutions, government, universities, major corporations is not owned by some invisible demonic Zionist entity.

But by the way, no one's saying that.

People are saying Jeffrey Epson ran a blackmail operation.

This is like crazy.

No one's thinking everything in the world is controlled by this demonic entity.

Some people are, but most serious people are just going, no, he clearly ran a blackmail operation for someone.

Maybe he was selling us to the highest bidder.

Maybe it wasn't that it was one intelligence agency.

Maybe some intelligence agencies wanted info on other pit.

I don't know how it was structured, but like this idea that it's like an insane.

I mean, listen to this.

Go to the last thing, right?

But yes, there are terrible people across the globe who have ascended to the highest echelons of institutional power and they are disgraced and they should be rooted out.

And until they are, the distrust in those institutions will not abate.

But no.

As the president of the United States has discovered, there is no surreptitious choreography taking place behind the veneer of the everyday.

We are not being manipulated.

The manipulation, if that's the right word, is of our own design.

It is a reflection of our atomization and our vacuousness and cannot be so easily extinguished.

I don't think it can be easily extinguished.

And anyone who attempts to extinguish it, including the president, the author of our many delusions, will be disavowed, discredited, assumed to be part of the greater cover.

So this guy wrote this paragraph.

Yes, there are terrible people across the globe who have ascended to the highest echelons of institutional power.

And the next paragraph goes, but they're not manipulating you and they wouldn't try.

I mean, this is an article.

It was written, edited.

It's out there.

People are sharing it.

I'm sure.

People think it's like a smart.

This is like stuff that the so-called smart set

chattering class reads and they pat themselves on the back.

Good work.

So they're a terrible people at the top, but they're not working together.

They're just bad and they do horrible things and they sleep with 14 year olds and they're depraved and spineless, but they would never think to blackmail each other.

They'd never think to cover for each other and they wouldn't think to lie about it.

They're not doing that just because they're sick pedophiles who have risen to the top of our society and have gobs of money and the means to use violence.

Don't think they would.

Who believes it?

Whose head works like this?

Whose head does that?

Where they go, well, just because

it's like the craziest

it's like your mother going now the drugs are in your room your room smells like pot your eyes are red you've missed school someone saw you smoking outside of the school your friends are old drug addicts many of them are going to jail uh tommy's mother just kicked him out of the house

The piss test came back for weed and you said it's because you were at Tommy's house and you inhaled smoke in his room by mistake.

You're telling me after all of this, you're looking at me and telling me you're not high.

No.

No.

And then I write an article where I go, yes, everyone's high.

Yes, they all went to jail.

Yes, your son hangs out with them.

Yes, a drug test came back positive.

Yes, Tommy's mother saw him smoking a joint outside of school.

But let's not get confused.

Let's not muddy the waters here.

Yes, there are a lot of stoners in your son's grade.

Many of them are his best friends, and they've all ascended to positions of power.

And that's sad that these stoners are just running the show.

But they're not manipulating you.

And to think they are is crazy.

You're a paranoid anti-Semite.

And then you're like, wait a minute.

They're all Italian.

You go, shut up.

You're a paranoid anti-Semite to think that all of your son's stoner friends might be trying to conceal their weed smoking.

That's really all this is.

This is just a bunch of drug addicts.

And then someone's going, like, don't you think it's possible that any of them are lying about their drug use?

And then there's all these articles written by people going, well, I actually don't think that's happening.

Yes, they're on drugs, but that's not the way the world works.

You can't just...

get a bunch of rich people together to cover shit up.

It's like, no, you can.

You absolutely can.

It's all the, and this is not a conspiracy theory about Jewish people, by the way.

It has nothing to do with Jewish people.

I guarantee you, the people on that island were every race, creed, culture, whatever.

Rich, powerful people that are partaking in acts of things that we don't even know.

I think that's the other thing.

I think we're thinking it's other things.

It's not.

This is like

other stuff.

This is like Marquis de Sad, like times 10, violence, murder, killing.

This is real bad.

My guess, again.

Only because every other scandal in history that involved children being abused also involved them being killed.

If you're going to abuse a child and ruin its life, you'll also kill them.

This guy write that article.

No, they just raped them.

They were actually not killing them.

They just raped them repeatedly, causing them to disassociate.

To think that they would kill them is crazy.

It's It's just.

It looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck.

But to suggest it's a duck makes you an anti-Semite and a not.

What?

Because it could be a goose.

Yeah, but that's still a bird and it kind of moves like a duck.

And isn't that also a problem if it's a goose?

Shut up.

You're anti-Semitic and insane.

How do you live?

You're such a paranoid monster.

I'm just saying they're both birds, but I actually think it's a duck.

It's a human with a duck sound.

What?

It's making duck noises to make you think it's a bird.

Why would it do that?

Why would a human, well, there's things called duck calls.

Yeah, but I think that's for duck hunters.

Not only, it's also for people that are fucking with you.

Why would someone just blow a duck call?

So I would think it's a duck.

Have you seen the show Duck Dynasty?

What?

Yes, I guess I have.

Well, a lot of those guys are racist.

But, but

what are we doing here?

I just said I saw this thing that quacked like like a duck and it looked like a duck.

And I said it's probably a duck.

Well, maybe you should go hang out with your Nazi friends at the Duck Dynasty.

Fucking lake, you anti-semi-piece of cat.

What?

And then that guy like finishes that article.

He rolls over.

There's a 14-year-old in his bed and he goes,

Good night.

This is Larry Flick, owner of the floor store.

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Fast Lane Financing lets you ride now and pay later with 0% interest for three months.

And here's the big one.

August 29th through September 1st only.

Buy any helmet $319 or more and get a free Cardo Spirit Bluetooth.

Supplies are limited.

Don't wait.

Cycle gear.

Get there.

Start here.

This Labor Day, gear up, save big, and ride harder with cycle gear.

From August 22nd to September 1st, score up to 60% off motorcycle gear from your favorite brands.

RPM members get 50% off tire mount and balance with any new tire purchase.

Need to hit the road now?

Fast Lane Financing lets you ride now and pay later with 0% interest for three months.

And here's the big one.

August 29th through September 1st only.

Buy any helmet $319 or more and get a free Cardo Spirit Bluetooth.

Supplies are limited.

Don't wait.

Cycle gear.

Get there.

Start here.

You're juggling a lot.

Full-time job, side hustle, maybe a family.

And now you're thinking about grad school?

That's not crazy.

That's ambitious.

At American Public University, we respect the hustle and we're built for it.

Our flexible online master's programs are made for real life because big dreams deserve a real path.

At APU, the bigger your ambition, the better we fit.

Learn more about our 40 plus career relevant master's degrees and certificates at apu.apus.edu.

This Labor Day, gear up, save big, and ride harder with cycle gear.

From August 22nd to September 1st, score up to 60% off motorcycle gear from your favorite brands.

RPM members get 50% off tire mount and balance with any new tire purchase.

Need to hit the road now?

Fast Lane Financing lets you ride now and pay later with 0% interest for three months.

And here's the big one: August 29th through September 1st only.

Buy any helmet $319 or more and get a free Cardo Spirit Bluetooth.

Supplies are limited.

Don't wait.

Cycle gear.

Get there.

Start here.