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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
Thank you for being with us again.
Thank you to everyone who watched the Candace Owens episode.
I know that
that did very well.
We appreciate Candace coming on.
And she's hella pregnant, as she said.
She's about to pop.
And then
it was nice to have her on.
Some of my Jewish friends texted me and they were not
thrilled about it.
You know, they were not
happy about it.
And
hey, not everyone's going to be happy all the time.
Not everyone's going to be happy all the time.
And that's okay.
We had a lovely conversation about Harvey Weinstein,
a Jewish person who has been wrongly accused of things.
And Candace is working very hard to get him out of jail.
Okay.
So let's.
Let's all realize that as well.
I just got back from Boston.
The kids at the Harvard Lampoon, I have a friend of mine, a guy who worked on my ill-fated talk show with Netflix.
How are the other talk shows doing there?
Not great, but the ill-fated talk show I did at Netflix,
one of the kids in the Harvard Lampoon worked on it.
So he had me go to
the Lampoon last night.
And they did like,
I got inducted.
I don't know what that means, but it was very sweet of them.
And
they were very nice kids, you know.
The Harvard Lampoon's like a famous literary magazine where a lot of comedy writers
came from.
Conan, Legendary, obviously, and Colin Joe's came from there.
A lot of comedy writers, people who wrote The Simpsons and everything.
I don't know what it has to do with comedy now.
I think it's more like a frat now.
I don't, you know, like,
one of the guys, I'm like, what do you major in?
He's like, economics.
And I swear to God, he goes, with a focus on systems of control.
I swear to God, he said that.
He goes, with a focus on systems of control.
And I was like, hilarious.
Hilarious.
And then you talk to the kids and they're like, yeah, they're like, I'm going to New York.
I'm going to work at, you know, private equity and then hopefully get into comedy.
I'm like, the famous private equity to comedy pipeline, of course.
But I get it.
If my kid went to Harvard and said, I'm going to be a comedian, I would drown them.
I would fully submerge them in water until they couldn't breathe.
But it was like a relic of another era.
And it was really cool to see.
But yeah, I mean, it's like, I get it.
Go into the world of private equity.
And then from there, get into comedy, go into hedge funds, and then
slip slide into comedy.
Seems.
And they were, you know, the thing about the kids at Harvard, they're a little smug, which I get because they're at Harvard and they should be.
But they're also kind of as smart as they all are.
They're a little out of it as well.
Like one of them was like, why don't you spend more time in LA?
And I go, well, it's really depressing.
And he goes, why?
And I go, well, the entertainment industry is collapsing.
And he goes, what do you mean?
It's like, what do you mean?
What do I mean?
They just don't know.
They don't know.
They go, hacks is a good show.
People write for hacks.
I go, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's like 10 people.
The rest of the people are in their bathroom with a noose.
Like, I mean, you know, but they don't quite understand that, which is why it's good to get the first few years of comedy in a BlackRock.
It's very important.
First few years of comedy, you get in a BlackRock
and, you know, you'll be the,
but they were sweet.
They were very nice, most of them.
Most of them were very nice.
You know, there's a...
There's something about, and it was an interesting time to be at Harvard because Trump is now in a war with Harvard and other Ivy League schools because he feels like they didn't do enough to protect Jewish students during the encampments.
If you remember the encampments, which the one at Harvard was very small, these guys were walking me around Harvard and it was like 10 tenths.
Again, anecdotally, everyone I met at Harvard was Jewish and they all seemed fine.
Anecdotally, anecdotally.
I'm not saying that it wasn't a hostile environment.
I think if you commit a crime, you got to go.
If you punch a Jewish person, you have to go.
If you, you know what I mean?
I get it.
If you're doing that, you got to go.
But if you're just participating in a protest or if you are writing an op-ed, you know, I mean, this is crazy, right?
To deport you?
Crazy.
But again, it seemed like they were, the Jewish students I met at Harvard seemed anecdotally fine.
They made it through it.
They were able to get through it.
Anecdotally, again, they might have had trauma deep, deep down on the surface.
Seemed fine.
Seemed fine.
But again, that's the, but one of them, we were having dinner and one of them said, my girlfriend's Brazilian and she might get deported because Harvard's refusing to comply.
Because the Trump administration is creepily being like, give us all the student records.
We want all the disciplinary records.
We want everything.
We want to know who said what, who did what.
They're scrubbing social media.
They're doing all this shit that is fundamentally un-American and you shouldn't do.
If you went to a protest and you conducted yourself,
you know, and you were protesting, you weren't like damaging property or, you know, listen, if you take over a building for a week and you're assaulting people, you're probably going to get thrown out.
But if you just go to a protest, you know, and you yell a few slogans.
From the river to the sea if you're if you do a little from the river to the sea in the quad just to kind of be seen Should you be deported deported a little globalize the intifada from the quad?
You don't even know what it means.
I don't know what that means.
I don't know what it means.
I know it.
People don't like it.
I'm not for it necessarily.
I don't want to globalize the intifada, but if you did a little globalize the intifada on your way to a party in the quad.
Again,
should you be deported?
Probably not.
You're in college.
You're not a kid.
You're an adult, but you're a young adult.
You don't have all your ideas fully formed.
That's the point of going to college.
The point of going to college is to get into the Harvard lampoon and think you're a comedian for four years and then go work for BlackRock.
That's the point of college.
It's like, and there's nothing wrong with it.
It's why we need a college.
I major in economics with a focus on systems of control.
The fun thing about Russia is like the people that are designing the prison don't think they're clowns as well.
Like they're not trying to write clever artists.
The one thing you gotta give to Russia is the people that are like building the prison in which you will live
in all ways do not also, they don't do it in like a cutesy, clever, sardonic way.
But that's the point of cut.
The point of college is to be in college, it's to be young.
It's to go and do things, to experiment sexually, to experiment with ideas, to
try to be
the type of person that you think will be a successful one, right?
Like, that's the whole point.
We shouldn't be isolating a minute or an hour of someone's life and judge them on the basis of that.
It seems crazy to do.
But I was having dinner with all these Harvard kids and they were like, do you think it's a, do you think it's a bad PR move for Trump if these kids start getting ripped off of
Harvard's campus and deported?
And I said, let me tell you something.
It's Harvard.
If Trump rolled through Harvard with tanks and killed all of you, and I mean killed all of you, okay,
he would still win that PR war.
It's Harvard.
You are the least sympathetic people in the world.
It just is what it is.
You're not
people that anyone would feel bit.
People would watch, they would watch it like they watch, you know, Sunday night, Monday night football.
They would sit there and watch you get taken out of these dorms, lined up and shot in the head.
And they would do it with glee.
They would gleefully watch it.
They wouldn't care.
That's why the Trump people,
if you notice what they're doing, they're going at, like, he's not, by the way, all these mass deportations that a lot of people wanted aren't happening.
They're just not happening.
So if you elected Trump to get rid of the 10 million people that came that Biden let in, You're not getting it.
You're just not getting, and a lot of people are not happy about that.
You're not getting it.
What you're getting is these very politicized deportations of certain bad elements, debatably, but a lot of, you know, deportations of criminals that are people in the country, people selling fentanyl or whatever, murderers,
to an El Salvadoran jail, which is probably not long-term the best thing.
What if a Democrat wins the next time and wants to send Joe Rogan to a jail in El Salvador?
What about that?
Did you ever think about that?
Did you ever think of how Theo Vaughn would fare in an El Salvadoran prison?
He'd do phenomenally, by the way.
He would do phenomenally, and his show would be very interesting from that prison.
But that's what you, you have highly kind of politicized attacks, and he knows, they know that Ivy League schools like Harvard and Columbia, nobody feels bad.
for students at Harvard or Columbia.
And people are rightfully kind of fed up with Ivy League universities.
They look at them and, you know, these kids behave in very silly, ridiculous ways.
Even when I went to the encampment at UCLA, which is not an Ivy League, but you have these like non-binary Asians dressed in the full garb.
They look like Hamas, but it's non-binary Asians.
in the Hamas garb.
And it's very hard to take any of them seriously.
You cannot take any of these people seriously because they also have lists of like food they want.
They need, because
they can't leave the encampment, but they need food and the food needs to be vegan and the food needs to be there.
You cannot take any of these people seriously.
Hey, say what you want about Hamas.
You do take them seriously.
You do take Hamas seriously.
You do.
You do.
You certainly do.
But these kids, and I even said it to a few of them at UCLA, I said, you're not Hamas.
You don't have it.
You don't have it.
You took a photo with me.
Now, maybe a few people at Hamas would do that too, but most of them would not.
Most of them, it's eyes on the prize.
That's the thing with Hamas, isn't it?
It's eyes on the prize.
Not saying it's good, but I'm saying there's a level of focus that a lot of the kids at the encampments didn't have.
So when you're an adult and you're watching this, you're watching them take over buildings and do these very theatric, silly things.
And again, we're not debating the merits of what of the Israel gods.
I think we're just saying this you're not going to allow children to take over colleges in america it's not going to happen you're not going to allow it's not going it's not going to happen but i also think deporting a lot of them that are here on legal visas is silly and is ridiculous let them work at blackrock let them do it
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What I find interesting
recently, as I've been kind of digesting the news,
is the
schisms that are developing on the left and the right.
There are schisms that are happening on both sides of the aisle politically.
Since Trump got elected, what's interesting to see is that things have gotten a lot messier.
and a lot more complicated all over the place.
People can't as easily identify with a side
as they they could have before the election.
And one of the schisms that's happening
in the political
world is Israel.
It's a big schism on the left and the right.
And
it's kind of going hand in hand with Ukraine, although the way they manifest is a little different.
On the right,
predominantly about the Israel question, you have people that feel like the United States of America should not be
co-signing
all of Israel's activities.
And then you have people on the right that believe that the Israel-Hamas question is an existential threat to Western civilization and that Israel needs to do whatever it has to do to
vanquish.
Hamas.
Benjamin Netanyahu came out and really said, hey, those hostages,
they're issue two.
They're issue two.
Issue one will be getting rid of Hamas.
And Hamas is anyone and everyone that we get.
That's Hamas.
Of any age, of any gender, anywhere they happen to be, that's Hamas.
And the hostages are issue two.
Again, it's Benjamin Netanyahu.
It's his quote.
He said, Hamas, the total decapitation.
of Hamas, eliminating all Hamas fighters, is issue one.
Hostages are issue two.
That's one side of the right that believes that whatever Israel needs, we got to be there to do it.
And the other side of the right believes that we are too cozy, too close.
This is not doing anything for America's national security.
We need to stay out of wars, especially a war with Iran, which has divided.
the right as well, because the people who believe we need to co-sign everything Israel does also believe that we need to go into Iran.
On the left, it is a very similar schism.
It's almost the same exact one.
You have people that
do not want to support Israel, and then you have people that do.
You have people that are against
a commitment to Israel financially and a war with Iran.
And then you have people that are
for
an unended
open-ended commitment to Israel and whatever they want to do and war with Iran on the left left as well.
We've reached a very interesting place.
And we now have a woman I want to introduce you to who symbolizes
what I'm talking about.
And what I mean is
there is an establishment.
And there is, I don't want to call it a deep state because I think that doesn't fully explain what it is.
I know that's what a lot of people say it is.
They're They're not necessarily wrong.
I'm just sick of hearing those two words.
But you have an establishment that's neither really principally left or right.
They're concerned predominantly with the preservation of the American empire and the expansion of the American Empire, which is why they will destroy the chances of Bernie Sanders, someone who I like and would vote for.
I'd vote for Bernie Sanders.
I think he has integrity.
In the same way that they tried to destroy
Donald Trump through legal means and maybe other means, depending on what you think happened in Butler, Pennsylvania.
This is kind of
every now and then they throw a person at you, this establishment, which again, it's not, it's amorphous.
It's not left or right.
Like, for example, Sam Harris, who's a liberal but critical of Islam and pro-free speech but not pro all free speech who's a very smart guy but kind of hard to pinpoint who runs a meditation app but also believes that Israel should just bomb anyone at any time that it think it is hilarious to be a guy who runs a meditation app and he spends half the time telling people about breathing and how to self-actualize and the other half of the time telling people that we need to bomb as many children as humanly possible until Israel feels comfortable.
That's just an interesting archetype of person.
It just is.
Okay, I want everybody right now to breathe.
I want you to breathe in and out.
I want you to breathe in and out.
Breathe in and out.
And I want to start from your breath and start from your breathing.
What we need to do is indiscriminately bomb women and children.
We need to indiscriminately bomb women and children right now.
Imagine you're a drone.
Feel the freedom of being a drone.
Feel the freedom of being a drone.
I want you to focus on
your breath.
Focus on your breath and feel the freedom of being a drone.
Where would you fly if you were a drone?
Iran?
I think you'd fly right to Iran.
You'd fly to Iran and eliminate their nuclear capability.
You'd do it before you even had the chance to find a diplomatic solution.
I want you to breathe.
I want you to breathe in and out right now.
I want you to imagine an apartment complex.
There's children playing soccer outside.
Now it's gone.
It's gone because there were bad people in it.
Now they're all gone.
Now it's rubble.
And I know it's sad, but it's necessary.
Collateral damage.
I want you to say two words.
Collateral damage.
Focus on your breathing.
Focus on your breathing.
Manifest the reality you want to see.
Do people from Gaza still live there?
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
They're gone.
Where are they?
We don't know.
Focus on your breathing.
In and out.
In and out.
It's an interesting archetype of person to be.
This is what I mean.
You can't pinpoint people anymore.
It's not as simple as my aunt whose daughter is non-binary, who lives in Massachusetts, who's kind of a witch, who was a librarian at a city college, feels one way.
She may end up agreeing with your pot-bellied drunk uncle from Daytona Beach who's on a boat.
You don't know.
It's not easy anymore to just say, you're this, you're that.
The establishment needs to step in, and they are.
They need to provide you with somebody who believes in everything
and also, more importantly, nothing.
Not one thing.
Not one thing.
Enter a woman who I believe is the establishment choice for the presidency.
She is, she does not serve by her own admission.
She does not serve only one ideology.
She has worked for Bush.
I believe she worked for Obama.
Let's play.
And by the way, she recently told Bernie Sanders, she recently said, I don't want you to use the word oligarchy.
I don't want you to use the word oligarchy because it doesn't resonate with the American people.
Here's what that really means.
Stop talking about this thing that exists that I work for.
Stop speaking of this.
Stop talking about this.
You're giving away the game.
You're giving away the game.
She doesn't want anyone
to have a word for the thing,
this blob.
that doesn't serve anyone except the financial interest of a small sliver of the population population who write humorous pieces for a magazine in Boston.
Now,
I want, she had a very close Senate race, this woman.
She had a very close Senate race.
Now, she had the edge in donations because the donations pour in and we know where they come from.
This is what happens.
All of the sudden, someone from the intelligence community decides they actually have a passion for democratic civil engagement and they want to be a congressman or a senator.
They always could they come from the intelligence community.
They say I'm sick of poisoning people at different embassies.
I want to be in front of the camera.
And they they they all of a sudden this person starts to be very well funded.
They start to show up out of nowhere.
This bitch who no one knows about gives the speech when Donald Trump gives a state of the union where whatever you think of Trump, he is killing.
He's got a young black kid with brain cancer.
He's like, you're the Secretary of Defense or whatever he did.
It was killer.
Now this bitch out of nowhere is just like Barack Obama, by the way, plucked it and Bill Clinton and George W.
Bush, to be fair.
I mean, he came out of what, Texas?
He was, you know,
I mean, we knew his parents, but this guy just emerged.
These people emerged.
Now, he was the governor of Texas.
He had won an election, but a lot of these people just emerge.
So this woman, Eliza Slotkin, emerges
from the depths of Langley, Virginia, from some basement under the CIA.
We don't know who this woman is.
She ran a very tight Senate race.
She got a lot of funding and a lot of money.
And all we know about her so far really is that she's here to promote bipartisanship.
And she's against wokeness.
And the Democratic Party's got a with the woke, but don't speak about the oligarch.
She's not woke, but she doesn't want you to talk about the oligarchy.
So now here she's from the CIA.
And she's now emerged.
She's now the senator.
And it was a tight race, but she somehow all of the fundraising, all of the money started coming in.
And she had these high-profile endorsements.
Here is one of her campaign ads, why she's running Eliza Slockin for the United States Senate Go.
For me, Michigan is where it all started.
No matter where I've gone in my life, no matter who I've met, nothing is more important to me than this place.
My call to public service started on 9-11.
It was my second day of grad school in New York City, and by the time the smoke cleared, I knew I wanted a career in public service, protecting my country.
I was recruited by the CIA to be a Middle East analyst and sent overseas to do three tours in Iraq alongside our military.
I came back to work in the White House under two presidents, one Republican and one Democrat.
But no matter what crises I've lived through, nothing tested me more than when my mom was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer, and she didn't have health insurance.
She had let it lapse after many years of being gouged by the insurance companies because she happened to have a pre-existing condition.
It was like a grenade went off in our lives.
I took a leave of absence, came home to Michigan, and the same week and the same month that we're desperately trying to get her life-saving care was the same week and the same month that we filled out the paperwork for her.
I killed my own mother.
I killed my own mother to prevent her suffering i looked at her and i put a pillow over her head and i killed my mother
eliza slotkin everyone she is the sorry about her mother but
this is what we get i served the what i of course you served under two presidents you're a spook
So when you talk about the permanent government, you talk about it,
this is how you're being sold, this woman who's showing up.
It's how you were going to be sold Pete Butigej I'm gay and I was the mayor of a town in Indiana that no one heard of which was actually I mean the town Pete Butige was the mayor of was probably just one of those when you showed up to it it was just cops stopped you and told you you couldn't go further it was like one of those alien movies where they just coordinated off the town there were borders you couldn't get to it it's like what is a mayor what
He's another one.
They throw these people at you from like the bowels of the government.
They're like, you're gay.
Your mother's dead.
dead, you're black, everybody's got.
So we have Eliza Slotkey.
Now get up her quote about
Bernie
Sanders.
I want to see that because she went at Bernie Sanders and said, I'd like you to stop using the term oligarchy.
And Bernie Sanders actually responded to her and was basically like, hey.
I think the American people are a lot smarter than you think they are, which she responded, oh, God, I hope they're not.
God, I hope they're not.
I hope
they don't find out it was me that put the bombs in the elevator shafts.
Eliza Slotkin, Democrat, Michigan,
while recently discussing the Democrats' brand crisis.
And now, by the way, why is she an expert in this?
Why is this woman an expert in the Democrat brand crisis?
Isn't it interesting that this woman who's very new to politics is an expert in the Democratic brand crisis?
She knows everything everything about, doesn't this feel odd?
Her campaign's well-funded.
She's out to work for two presidents.
My call to serve started when the towers were smoking.
My call to serve started at 9-11.
I decided I want a career in public service.
So I went into the Central Intelligence Agency.
It's odd.
I went into the CIA and I worked in the White House under two presidents and I realized that nothing really mattered and that reality is what we make it.
We create reality.
My mother got diagnosed with cancer.
Guess what?
I don't even have a mother.
Who gives a shit?
Vote for me.
I'm kind of fat.
Because it doesn't.
So here she goes.
Here she goes.
While recently discussing the brand crisis,
I'm sorry I said fat.
That was wrong.
While recently discussing the brand crisis, told Politico, is Gavin Newsom still doing his podcast, by the way?
We've tried to get on.
They said no.
While recently discussing the Democrats' brand crisis,
Eliza Slotkin told Politico that the party ought to avoid using the term oligarchy because it doesn't resonate outside coastal institutions and suggested that the Democrats say kings instead.
She wants them to say kings.
Here's why she wants them to say kings because it's fucking retarded.
And if you say kings, you easily mean Donald Trump kings.
If you say oligarchy, that means there's an entire class of people that are a problem.
There's an entire network of people that are a problem.
But if you say kings,
you can isolate Donald Trump and Elon Musk.
And I've criticized Elon Musk a bunch, and I will probably later on in this episode.
But that's why she wants to use the word king.
And by the way, there's a meeting where that's decided, okay?
She doesn't serve any political party.
She serves a group of people who meet in the woods and they tell her they have some food for her and she goes there and they say, listen to me.
We're not doing oligarchy.
We're saying kings.
And they might not even tell her the reason, but I'll tell you the reason.
So we can hang all the problems on Trump and Musk.
When Sanders talks about an oligarchy, it means there's systems that prop people up.
There's a network of people.
We don't like that.
We don't want that.
Just say the word kings.
So this woman who, you know, is a senator or wherever she's from here pops up
and they tried to do this with Buttigieg.
They tried to do this with Budijech.
He's the mayor of South Bend, Indiana, and he was in Iraq.
They always try.
This is something that, and again, it's not the Democrats.
The Republicans try to do this all the time.
And it's not any political party.
It has nothing to do with politics.
It has everything to do with an establishment candidate that makes everybody feel comfortable.
Mitt Romney, Bain Capital, Mormon Mitt Romney, who ran out there and was like, I am a billionaire's billionaire.
I like money and money likes me and daddy likes everybody getting their beak wet.
That was the establishment candidate for the Republicans of Mitt Romney.
There were other people in that primary.
You don't remember any of them, but they are, but they always coalesce around a certain person.
They wanted Ron DeSantis because he would have been more malleable, more controllable, but he was a goofball and it didn't work.
He had the charisma of a shoe and he couldn't get in.
So it didn't work.
But they would have been a lot more comfortable with a guy like Ron DeSantis.
Okay.
The way a lot of this works is they're comfortable with two types of people.
One, someone who they have a control file on, someone who's done illegal things that they know about and they can say,
remember this?
Yeah.
Or they like people if they don't have a control file on you.
You are such a hollow shell of ambition that you simply are a careerist where advancement is your only thing.
You will tear the flesh off someone's face with your teeth to get ahead.
These are the two types of people they like.
They like these empty suit careerists who are just climbing.
They're institutionalists.
They know how to climb through institutions.
And, you know, That's a very, very, very useful person for them.
The other type of person is someone who they're just controlling.
They were drunk.
They fuck people they shouldn't of different age groups.
They're on drugs.
They're cheating on your wife.
They're secretly gay.
Whatever it is.
You know,
these are the types of people that they like.
And this woman who's in the CIA, who's a perfect, again, this is a perfect
resume.
Because they think that the American people still buy into this.
That's why this is a resume that they think is good.
They think the American people go, yeah, CIA, the Iraq war, good times.
Good times, good times.
Remember that?
Those breezy summer nights, hearing the bombs drop in Fallujah, good times.
God, good times.
I was getting my dick sucked on the lake and watching Abu Ghraib torture videos.
Good times.
They're so out of it.
And just having spent the weekend at Harvard, These are sweet kids, but they're in this bubble too, where they're like, why don't you spend time in LA?
And I'm like, I don't know, the entertainment industry collapsed.
it's it's you know it's the vibes are bad and one of them's like well what do you mean it collapsed people still watch things people still watch shows i'm like listen to me you have no idea what you're talking about i know so many talented people that have a gun in their mouth right now but they're so far removed from anything And that's why you got to remember these guys who are pushing her out are so far removed.
They think, now we all know that after 9-11, it was kind of fun.
And I even talk about it.
It was nice.
Candlelight vigils.
We're going to get them.
Fucking let's get them.
We all remember that.
But by like 2004 or 2005, people kind of realized what was going on.
But they think it's the good times.
That's what we want to go back to.
A Middle East war, a couple of Kold Ruskis and a Middle East war.
That's why they're fucking saber-rattling with Iran.
They go, let's do it again.
Let's do it again.
That's what they think people want.
They want a CIA agent.
That's how lost they are.
They think the American people are fans of an agent from the center.
We all know what the CIA does.
And this is what I mean.
This is what is so funny about this country.
The kid from Harvard goes, what do you mean the entertainment industry is collapsing?
If you went up to a regular random person on the street.
on the street, a community college dropout like moi
and said, How's the entertainment industry doing?
Nine times out of ten, they'd go, not good.
They'd go, I know that.
They'd go, not great.
They'd go, I drank off all day for free.
Whatever's going on ain't good.
But at the most prestigious institution, these people completely have no idea what's going on.
So these people, by the way, that are throwing her out there or Mayor Pete or any of these people who make us remember the Iraq war are not good.
We don't want to hear the words Middle East.
The words Middle East are not words I want to hear from anybody.
Don't say Middle East.
Do not come into my home and say Middle East unless you're talking about something you've bought in Dubai and show me pictures of it.
I want to see renderings.
But other than that, I want to see renderings of what's going on in Dubai.
It's a capital of luxury right now.
But if
you are, I wanted to get involved in an investment group building things in Dubai, but I can't.
I don't have the fucking money to invest.
I don't have the net worth.
Here, maybe I should talk to those Harvard boys.
But here's the thing.
This is how out of it they are.
They keep putting people in front of you who want to talk about 9-11 and the Middle East.
That's what they want to.
That's what they think America's clamoring for.
More of that.
More CIA, please.
More CIA, please.
And I'm all for the Sam Harris rationalist shit that he wants to do, right?
Let's be rational and logical and all of that.
Okay, and what's that?
And why are we being so rational?
So we can kill all these kids.
Well, that doesn't, what?
That's why we're being rational and logical?
Breathe.
I want you to breathe right now.
I want you to imagine that you're a drone and you're about to strike an apartment building full of families.
Some of those families are in Hamas.
Breathe in and out.
You have to start from your diaphragm.
Don't breathe from your mouth.
Breathe from your diaphragm.
I want you to manifest the world you would like to see.
Is there fire in it?
Is there fire in the world you want to see?
Oh, it's a righteous fire and it burns bright.
It burns bright, doesn't it?
Breathe in and out.
It's such a fun archetype.
I'm all for rational behavior and thinking, and I don't want to live in a Christian theocracy or a Muslim theocracy or any theocracy.
But I also think, and then people go, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well.
What do you want?
Hamas to?
When do you want to live in Gaza?
You're going to Hamas.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Is that the choice?
Is that the choice?
I'm saying, I'm simply saying, let's tone it down.
Tone it down.
Chill it out.
I'm not ending the party.
I'm walking in.
I'm Cool Dad going, let's, I know you got to get a few hostages out.
Cool Dad says, Just relax.
We don't want the cops here.
Okay.
We don't want the cops here.
Chill it out a little bit, okay?
Do you have to kill someone every 30 seconds on TikTok?
Every 30 seconds, there's somebody, uh, there's a murder.
I'm watching a murder.
I'm trying to eat, I'm trying to eat lunch.
I got a lobster roll half in my mouth, and I've got murder on the phone.
So, I'm suggesting it.
And then everybody just, there's, there's no,
everybody's like, it's well, isn't it important that Israel beats Hamas?
I go, Israel has beaten Hamas.
They've beaten Hamas.
They've beaten them
already.
They've won.
But there are still Hama.
I beg yeah, there's still, there was still like al-Qaeda and ISIS.
Remember that?
What are the, what?
This crazy idea that you're going to eradicate every person in the world that has a problem with your country or could use violence against your country.
You'd have to kill everyone.
You can't kill everyone
with Russia, Ukraine.
I've heard people, not only at these nice prestigious schools, but I've heard very smart people say to me,
I've said we're spending a lot of money on Ukraine, and they've said to me, it's a good cost-benefit analysis to drain the Russian military,
spending this money and drain the Russian military.
Now, there is a moral question there.
Ukraine and Russia
are throwing 18, 19, 20-year-old kids at this war.
They're going to gyms and conscripting them.
They're making them sign up for the military.
They're throwing bodies at this conflict.
And the rationale I've heard from people is it's a good
cost-benefit analysis to weaken the Russian military by funding the Ukraine.
What about
the 18, 19, 20-year-olds?
whose bodies are being thrown at the conflict and people don't care.
They don't care.
It does not move them at all to suggest in every war, there is a certain amount of blood where you have to say to yourself, what the fuck is going on?
It doesn't mean you agree with Hamas.
Doesn't mean you think Vladimir Putin is a stellar individual.
It means that you think that there needs to be some agreement that stops bloodshed.
Okay, this
logical dance everyone does where they go, remember Afghanistan?
We were there for 20 years and we left and then the Taliban got the country again?
When we left, if you were against us leaving, which I'm sure somebody was,
I'm sure somebody in the bowels.
of the intelligence community was like, do we really have to go?
It's only been 20 years.
We're just getting going.
And then they were like, no, no, no, no, no.
The public doesn't even know we're there.
Like, that's how much the public's checked out.
They don't even know we're there.
And if they find out, people, remember that when we had that sloppy withdrawal, people were going, we're still in Afghanistan.
People go, wait a minute, we're still there?
People really didn't even know we were there.
And the Taliban marched right in and they took the country.
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Now, all these people yelling about the deal Trump's making for the Ukrainian mineral, you thought this was free?
Did you think this was free?
I'm sorry.
Did you think this was free?
Do you think we were doing this pro bono?
How stupid are all of you?
Did you think we were doing this pro bono?
That we were giving the Ukraine all of this money for nothing?
You really thought that?
You were like, God, we've turned a leaf.
We've turned a new leaf.
We became humanitarians overnight.
This is amazing.
Did you think it was free, that this was a freebie?
They were getting something on the arm carte blanche.
You thought that?
With a brain in your head, you really believe that?
Why?
Trump made this deal where we're taking half the...
Yeah, that was the whole thing.
That's why when things like this happen, you try to solve them quickly.
Because now,
of course,
this wasn't free.
And if you thought it was free, you're fucking crazy.
The plan was always to get paid back with the rare earth minerals.
And I guess the fucking, I don't know, bread.
They're the breadbasket of Europe, the sourdough and Shabada and whatever else they're going.
I like a good Shabata.
What are they doing there?
Apparently, it's the breadbasket of Europe.
So it's the grain fields and the farmland, but more importantly, it's the rare earth minerals that they have.
And Lindsey Graham said that, and we played it on the show.
Of course, it's not free.
You think it's free?
That's why when things like this happen,
there's always a rationale.
And I'm not saying it's a great idea for Iran to have a nuclear weapon, but there's a bunch of ways to deter them to get around that before you launch a full-scale invasion of Iran, by the way.
It's a little crazy.
Elon Musk is leaving Doge within, I believe, 100 days, or Elon Musk leaves Doge with final speech during 100 days cabinet meeting.
Fox News, Jesse Waters had all these guys on.
And you know what the problem with these people is they're young.
And I'm, I, it was, it was, a lot of the Doge stuff they did was sloppy, but they're young, and nobody wants really to hear from young people.
And if Doge was just a bunch of older people, it would have been, it would have looked better.
They're just too young.
And one of them's like, my name's Big Balls, and I'm whatever.
If it was just older people,
it would have, it would have, what if he got really smart and just
the young guys could do all the, you know, whatever they're doing, the hacking, and he just cast
a bunch of people to be Doge.
Like cast people that don't look like they just like fell out of a dorm room.
But Elon's going, and I think, because I predicted this, Trump is, this is not going to work.
And the main fight
in the Trump administration right now is between the Bannonite populist nationalist wing.
and the tech utopian futurists.
And that is a fun wing because you you have, and they're both fun.
You have Christian nationalist populists, and then you have tech futurists who believe they are God.
And so
it's just fun.
And by the way, this is a lesson for the Democrats.
That's how to create a coalition.
You take a bunch of people who have nothing in common.
You go, you're a Christian nationalist.
You're a tech utopian who believes you are God and you're going to live forever.
Let's all get together and throw a party.
Here's a red hat.
Here's a red hat.
And none of these people agree on anything.
Mark Andreessen doesn't agree with Steve Bannon on
Bannon wants tariffs.
He wants borders.
These guys want visas.
They want to bring in, like, you know, like Vivek
was saying they want to bring in a bunch of people from India and China so they could pay them less.
They want to stack them in bunk beds and have them fucking code and do all this shit that fucking Americans can't do.
Here's Elon Musk.
This is a little bit of that Fox News piece right here.
He's the only one that can do that.
Well this President, you know, they say I wear a lot of hats.
Yeah, I mean, this is just not hitting.
Even my hat has a hat.
Even my hat has a hat.
Yeah, it's just.
So,
you know, the American people voted for secure borders,
safe cities, and sensible spending.
And that's what they've gotten.
A tremendous amount has been coming.
All right, all right, all right.
Listen,
if he's going to do this, and I'm not against, in principle, what they're trying to do, because by the way, there is trillions of dollars missing from this government.
Now, who took it?
Remember when Donald Rumsfeld pre-9-11 was like, yeah, we don't know.
It's two and a half trillion.
There's a lot of money missing.
There's a lot of money that falls through the cracks, 1,000%.
But he,
him,
as being the leader of this, is optics are terrible.
Like him doing it, the optics are not good.
Again, do it behind the scenes and cast somebody.
It's like with Slotkin.
Now they're failing, but that's what they try.
It's what the establishment does.
Take a learn from them.
She's not pulling the strings, but they go, we like her.
She looks like a mom, yet she tells everyone she's, you know, she went to the Middle East and tortured a bunch of people.
We think they'll like that.
We think that'll play in the panhandle of Florida.
That's what they should do with Doge.
Instead of a bunch of college kids running around, you want to at least cast some people that look a little older, a little bit more.
And there were some, and to be fair, there were some of them in that Fox News piece
that were a little older.
I just think Elon
is not good
for that brand.
That is something that I think, I don't know him.
I met him one time at a New Year's party, and he was very nice to me.
I don't think he's an evil person.
I think he's a person who's trying to be funny.
And as I kind of saw it, that Harvard lampoon, really, that's one of the worst things in the world is to try to be funny and fail at it.
It really is terrible.
It's one of the hardest things to watch when someone who wants to be funny tries to be funny.
There's enough cool things about Elon Musk.
Please just don't try to be funny.
You do spaceship shit.
That's just have that be it.
Have that be it.
This is Jonas Knox from Two Pros and a Cup of Joe.
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Prince Harry, by the way, shout out to Pierce Morgan, who not only had me on, but
I enjoy him.
And he said, get Pierce Morgan's Instagram up because God, he fucking nailed this.
He had a great quote about Prince Harry.
Pierce Morgan said this.
This is his most recent post about Prince Harry, who,
you know,
he said,
where was this?
Was this not on his IG?
He said, I stand.
But no, his real, not his show, him.
Get his personal one.
I follow his personal one.
It's more fun.
Yes.
Let me read this.
Read it.
Read it, producer, because I want the wording exactly right.
You're closer to it.
I stand with King Charles against his treacherous rat of a son, Harry.
Correct.
That is correct.
By the way, that is correct.
That is correct.
That is correct.
Who's with me?
Pierce Morgan.
Say it again.
Play it again, Sam.
Say it.
I stand with King Charles against his treacherous rat of a son, Harry.
Who's with me?
I am, I am, Pierce.
I am with you because Harry is a rat and he's treacherous.
He's a treacherous rat and his father's dying of cancer and he's on an interview.
Yeah, let's play a little bit of this.
This is absolutely repulsive.
This Prince Harry, he's a gutless human being.
His father's got cancer and this guy, he just sucks.
He's still, they're still whining about bullshit, these people.
i mean it really is such a fucking nightmare you have a dad who's got cancer who's fighting a battle and he might not win it and then you're on an interview whining about your family all right let's take a little listen here
i can't see a world in which i would be bringing my wife and children back to the uk at this point
um
and the things that they the things that they're going to miss is well everything you know i love my country i always have done
despite what some people in that country have done.
So, you know,
I miss the UK.
I miss parts of the UK, of course I do.
And I think that it's really quite sad that I won't be able to show, you know, my children my homeland.
There is a lot of control and ability
in my father's hands.
Ultimately,
this whole thing could be resolved
through him.
Not Not necessarily by intervening, but by
stepping aside, allowing the experts to
stepping in the middle of the sky through him.
Not necessarily by intervening, but by stepping aside, allowing the experts to do what is necessary and to carry out an RMB.
That said,
there is...
This all
was initiated under a previous government.
There is now a new government.
I have had it described to me once people knew about the facts that this
is an old-fashioned, good old-fashioned establishment stitch-up and that's what it feels like.
There have been so many
disagreements, differences between me and
some of my family.
This is the problem.
Him and this woman want more security.
They were supposed to live on the property and they get the security being in the castle.
They don't want that.
They want to live somewhere else and then have the royal family pay for their security.
And the royal family's like, hey, man,
we offered you a nice cottage on the grounds of the castle and enough.
Like,
what is it with you people?
He's got enough money.
They're rich.
They can pay for their own security.
These are two, they're con artists.
And they're, they're con, they're like, number one, I guess stop doing things that make people want to kill you.
That's number one.
But
stop doing that.
But number two,
you're fine.
You're safe.
You'll have enough security.
This is like a fakeish.
They're con artists.
And this has been their sticking point is the security.
Keep playing this goon.
This current situation that has been on now, ongoing for five years with regard to
human life and safety is the sticking point.
the only thing that's left.
Of course, some members of my family will never forgive me for writing a book.
Of course they will never forgive me for lots of things.
I think by the way, I'll be saying this exact thing when my book comes out.
It's like I'm attacking him.
I'll be saying the same thing in six months.
There is.
I would love reconciliation with my family.
Then call them.
You're on the BBC.
You're on a news show.
This guy's on a news show.
I would love a reconciliation with my family.
Then call it, supposedly they won't take his call.
I wouldn't either.
He won't speak to me because of this security stuff.
But
it would be nice to reconcile.
As I learned through the First Nations throughout Canada, because of the Invictus Games,
their goal in life was always truth and reconciliation.
Oh, God.
I turned around to them in many conversations, and I said, right, but...
As I learned from the savages that we imprisoned many years ago,
their goal in life was reconciliation.
This guy, he's demanding like security.
She's paranoid.
They think everyone's trying to kill.
By the way,
these are the worst type of people.
The people that no matter what can never have enough security around.
They're clearly safe they're click they they have security they've been offered a place to live on the grounds of a fucking castle and they just they want like around the clock full security who's what is happening here like that's the only reason that this guy is still in this multi-year war with his cancer stricken father is because he doesn't the he doesn't have enough security who
all right get him out of here.
Get him out of here.
Reconcile with your family.
You fish wife.
That's an English insult.
Fishwife.
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Mark Zuckerberg says Americans, the average American has fewer than three friends, but thinks AI can fix that.
So let's just take a glimpse of what's coming.
I want,
I want, because people say to me, like, you're very critical of the tech people.
And sometimes I can be.
And some of them I like, like that guy, Chamoth Pa-ba-da-ba-da-da, whatever his name is.
I like him.
But, And I like the other ones too, the other criminals.
I like them.
But I want you, let's play this clip here.
This is Mark Zuckerberg talking about
creating friend, using AI to create friends for P.
Does this seem, and I'm asking a question, again, I don't want to seem judgmental here.
Does this seem like the right way forward
to anyone?
Is anyone listening to this thinking that this is the right way forward for society to have your friends be artificial intelligence and then eventually the people that you are sexually attracted to be artificial intelligence?
I'm just at because that's the plan.
Again, this is coming from him.
So that's the plan is to just have all of your relationships in life predominantly be AI.
I'm curious as is that a good way forward for society?
Again, Mark Zuckerberg.
I do think that people are going to use
AI for a lot of these social tasks.
Already one of the main things that we see people using that AI for is kind of talking through difficult conversations that they need to have with
people in their life.
It's like, okay, my, you know, my, my, I'm having this issue with my girlfriend or whatever.
Like, help me have this conversation.
Or like, I need to have this hard conversation with my boss at work.
Like, how do I have that conversation?
That's pretty helpful.
And then I think as the personalization loop kicks in and the AI just starts to get to know you.
By the way, what he's basically saying, if you listen, is don't learn how to be a person.
That's literally what he's saying.
What he is saying, if you listen to what he is saying, I mean, genuinely, if you listen to what he's saying, he's basically saying, Hi, I know the skills you think you need to have to be a human being.
Here's the good news: you don't
better
um
i think that will just be really compelling um
you know one thing just from working on social media for a long time
is um there's the stat that i always think is crazy the the average american i think has i think it's fewer than three friends
three people they'd consider friends and and the average person has demand for meaningfully more i think it's like 15 friends or something right?
I guess there's probably some point where you're like, all right, I'm just too busy.
I can't deal with more people.
But the average person wants more connectivity, connection than they have.
So, you know, there's a lot of questions that people ask of stuff like, okay,
is this going to replace kind of in-person connections or real-life connections?
And
my default is that the answer to that is probably no.
I think
it, you know, I think that there are all these things that are better about kind of physical connections when you can have them, but the reality is that people just don't have the connection and they feel more alone
a lot of the time than they would like.
So I think that a lot of these things that today there might be a little bit of a stigma around.
Yes.
Yes.
I would guess that over time.
Yeah.
We will find the vocabulary as a society to be able to articulate why that is valuable and why the people who are doing these things are like why they are rational for doing it and like and how it is adding value for their for their lives but but also i think that the field is very early so um
i mean it's like i i think you know there are a handful of companies and stuff who are doing virtual therapist and okay you know there's like virtual girlfriend type stuff right okay so basically what he's saying is that there's a little stigma right now to probably having an AI girlfriend or friends, but that in time we're going to come up with the vocabulary to justify why those things are valuable.
Now,
I want to unpack this
a little bit because this is where we're going.
There's no doubt about it.
There's no doubt about it.
There's absolutely not a question as to what these people want.
They do not want you to be a human being.
They do not want you to have human connections.
He goes, well, I guess it's probably better to have human connect.
Like it might be like they probably not.
Like it's hard to make friends.
It's hard to have a girlfriend.
It's hard to have a boyfriend.
It's hard to date.
Everything is hard.
Everything in life that is rewarding is ultimately hard.
But if you are going to turn people into
antisocial, digital slaves that are obedient.
So wait a minute.
By the way, if you have all these ai friends they can turn them off
they could turn them off they could turn your ai girlfriend off they could turn all these things off so if you have arranged your social life with ai friends they can all go goodbye bye
okay
if you rip human connections away from people and feed their emotional needs with artificial intelligence.
Tell them that they can rehearse conversations with artificial intelligence.
Tell them that every skill,
a communicative skill that they need to learn how to develop, those hard conversations that do suck,
that are tough, that you get to tell your friend about later and go, fuck, that was brutal.
They're saying there's a great cheat code to being a human being.
And here's the cheat code.
Be less of one.
That's the cheat code.
Be less of a human being.
I will die on the hill that this stuff's not good.
I'm telling you.
I will die on the hill
that this stuff is not good
because it is taking in life what is challenging, what is difficult, what is ugly, what is messy, what is ultimately human
and replacing it with something that is clean, that is efficient, and that is easy.
And I'm telling you, and I know that you feel like this is the final thing.
I know people are like, well, what about DoorDash?
Isn't that easy?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that is easier.
But you can still have human friends.
You can still put your dick in a person or have the person put their dick in you or whatever.
You could still procreate and have children, get married, whatever.
This is, and the way that they're kind of, they're throwing it out is like, listen, in time, we're just going to find the vocabulary for why you don't need human friendships.
That's what he said.
He goes, we're just going to find the vocabulary in time for why you don't need a human girlfriend.
We're going to find the vocabulary for that.
Basically, what he's saying is, we haven't found the vocabulary for that.
We haven't found the words yet for that.
What does that world look like where you're hanging out with your AI friends?
What does that world look like?
What is it where?
And then your AI friends start to influence you.
They start to program you.
Your AI friends start to tell you things.
You start to learn things from your AI and who programs all these AI friends by the way all these AI friends and girlfriends and all these new characters in your life who's in charge of them and who can shut them off
this guy that guy
that's the guy and others
like him you you do have to realize that there is something very creepy
about
this
there's There's something odd about that.
And I'm not trying to be like one of these Luddites who hates technology and doesn't think that AI has any good applications.
I think it has absolutely some good applications.
Blah, but listen, I get it.
I make a living on YouTube, right?
I make a living doing stand-up comedy.
I'm your mother on Netflix.
I make a living talking to people with technology.
That's why Lampoon is so interesting to see it's like this historic thing that has that It's valuable to me only in the sense of like going to a museum because now comedy is driven primarily digitally.
Everybody's just, you know, out there doing things.
The gatekeepers are kind of done and those old legacy institutions comedically are certainly suffering, if not completely eliminated.
So I'm not a Luddite.
I don't think we should not have technology.
But when the biggest guy in the game is telling you your girlfriend and your friends are going to be AI and that the only problem with that is that we haven't figured out a way to describe it yet.
We haven't found a word for it yet.
You should start thinking about.
But again, I don't want to get too stressed out.
Stress is a killer.
The cortisol levels stress you out.
I want you to breathe.
Inhale, and then I want you to exhale.
I want you to breathe.
I want you to go to me.
I want you to picture that you are sitting on a mountain.
I want you to be on a mountain with me.
Be on a mountain right now.
Be on a mountain right now with me.
And the lights, the night sky is lit up with stars and drone strikes.
And I want you to breathe.
And in the distance, you just see white smoke rising up.
And that's justice.
I want you to breathe with me and hear the screams.
Understand.
Understand it's necessary.
The indiscriminate bombing of civilians is necessary.
Just breathe with me.
In and out.
From the diaphragm, breathe.
Just in and out.
Just breathe with me.
Just breathe with me.
If you have a problem with this, ask your AI girlfriend.
Your AI girlfriend gets it.
She's in the IDF.
Just breathe in and out.
In and out.
Tim Dillon show every Saturday.
Breathe.
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